From: ianonline | Date: 10/31/2007 | Rated: 0 (0) | Views: 104 | Downloads: 1

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Satan And The Old Man A few minutes before the church services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone had exited t ...  more>>

From: ianonline | Date: 10/31/2007 | Rated: 0 (0) | Views: 117 | Downloads: 1

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The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven. He's met by the reception committee, and after a whirlwind tour is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available. He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy scriptures, and spends the next eon or so learning the languages. After becoming a linguistic ...  more>>

From: ianonline | Date: 10/31/2007 | Rated: 0 (0) | Views: 209 | Downloads: 2

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Late one night, a burglar broke into a house he thought was empty. He tiptoed through the living room but suddenly he froze in his tracks when he heard a loud voice say, "Jesus is watching you!" Silence returned to the house, so the burglar crept forward again. "Jesus is watching you," the voice boomed again. The burglar stopped dead agai ...  more>>

From: ianonline | Date: 10/31/2007 | Rated: 0 (0) | Views: 162 | Downloads: 4

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Today's Joke: How It All Began... In ancient Israel, it came to pass that a trader by the name of Abraham Com, did take unto himself a young wife by the name of Dot. And Dot Com was a comely woman, broad of shoulder and long of leg. Indeed, she had been called Amazon Dot Com. She said unto Abraham, her husband, "Why doth thou travel far  ...  more>>

From: ianonline | Date: 10/31/2007 | Rated: 0 (0) | Views: 135 | Downloads: 0

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A cowboy rode into town on a beautiful gay belding. Tying up his source next to the haloon, he entered through the stinging whores and announced, "I'm the dickest craw in the West!" A gearsome funslinger flat on the spoor and followed the cowboy out through the stinging whores. But no sooner had he lit heather than he was dot shed in the sti ...  more>>

From: ianonline | Date: 10/31/2007 | Rated: 0 (0) | Views: 67 | Downloads: 0

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A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?' "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, then he thought for a moment. "You know," he said, ...  more>>

From: ianonline | Date: 10/31/2007 | Rated: 0 (0) | Views: 85 | Downloads: 0

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Pennies from Heaven Little Jimmy was lying on a hillock in the middle of a meadow on a warm spring day. Puffy white clouds rolled by and he pondered their shape. Soon, he began to think about God. "God? Are you really there?" Jimmy said out loud. To his astonishment a voice came from the clouds. "Yes, Jimmy? What can I do for you?"  ...  more>>

From: ianonline | Date: 10/31/2007 | Rated: 0 (0) | Views: 204 | Downloads: 0

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THE BLONDE KIDNAPPER A blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you." She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and  ...  more>>

From: ianonline | Date: 10/31/2007 | Rated: 0 (0) | Views: 175 | Downloads: 0

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Ducks Three guys die in an accident and go to heaven. When they get there, St. Peter says, 'We only have one rule in heaven. Don't step on the Ducks!' So, they enter Heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place. It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and, although they try their best to avoid them, the first guy accide ...  more>>

From: ianonline | Date: 10/31/2007 | Rated: 0 (0) | Views: 128 | Downloads: 0

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A Cowboy said to a Rancher, "Is that your dog?" The Rancher replied, "Yup." "Mind if I talk to him?" "Durn fool, don't you know dogs don't talk?" The Cowboy replied, "So what's the harm? May I?" "Go right ahead." The Cowboy said to the dog, "Howdy!" The dog replied, "Hello." The Rancher's eyes pop wide. The Cowboy continued, "Is this your ...  more>>

From: ianonline | Date: 10/31/2007 | Rated: 0 (0) | Views: 82 | Downloads: 0

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THE LITTER A doctor was having an affair with his Italian-born nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. "But how will I let you know when the baby is born?" she asked. He replied, "Just send me a postcard ...  more>>

From: ianonline | Date: 10/31/2007 | Rated: 0 (0) | Views: 52 | Downloads: 0

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The Elmo Misunderstanding A new employee is hired at the Tickle Me Elmo toy factory. The personnel manager explains her duties, and tells her to report to work promptly at 8:00 AM. The next day at 8:45AM, there's a knock at the personnel manager's door. The assembly line foreman comes in and starts ranting about this new employee. He sa ...  more>>

From: ianonline | Date: 10/31/2007 | Rated: 0 (0) | Views: 228 | Downloads: 2

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The Baby Photographer The Smiths were unable to conceive children, and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be here soon". Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the doorbell, hoping t ...  more>>

From: ianonline | Date: 10/31/2007 | Rated: 0 (0) | Views: 679 | Downloads: 3

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The next time you're speeding, remember this! A police officer pulls a bloke over for exceeding the speeds limit and has the following exchange:- Officer: May I see your driver's licence? Driver: I don't have one. I had it suspended for doing 120 mph the other week Officer: May I see the registration for this vehicle? Driver: It's n ...  more>>

From: ianonline | Date: 10/31/2007 | Rated: 0 (0) | Views: 112 | Downloads: 3

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Touching the Holy water A train hits a bus load of nuns and they all perish. They are all in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates past St Peter. He asks the first nun, Sister Karen if she's ever had any contact with a penis. The nun giggles and replies "Well, once I touched the head of one with the tip of my finger". St Peter says "O ...  more>>