The Boyertown Area Times, April 4, 2002 5
Inside Berks State wins
Time to regale the rest of you
with the totally fictitious letters
membership. from outside your state I find it
delightful that a local banking
of All Evil” or, our personal
favorite, “The Inquisition, Really
your readership brethren have American Academy of institution has been rewarded the Such a Bad Idea?”. See ya’ in The state is a “PowerSeller.”
been sending this columnist as of Demographers appellation “Sovereign”. Does court sucker. The on-line, sell anything serv-
late. Cambridge, Mass this also include the Divine Right ice eBay, has announced that the
As usual, they sparkle with the of Loan Officers and a severe People for the Soviet Way state has been awarded Silver
cosmopolitan wit, urbane gentility Dave, penalty for the killing of the New York, NY PowerSeller status because of its
and love of the new and avant CEO’s deer? sales performance, 98 percent
garde that makes Berks County They’re on to us. Let’s split the positive feedback from buyers
internationally famous as the cul- loot and scram. Meet you in the Just Wondering, Dear Sir, and it meets eBay’s standards of
tural capitol of at least a dozen Bahamas. Charles Keating openness and honesty.
square miles of Southeastern We regret to inform you, Mr. Pennsylvania, through the
Pennsylvania. Or, is this West John Fidler Hahahahahaha, Ambrose and Mrs. Goodwin that State Treasurer Barbara Hafer
Virginia? I always get the two Revving up the van copyright protection does indeed keeps 20 to 30 items unclaimed
confused. The rest of City Council and exist for The Iliad, Romeo and property items on the service at
Right Wing Nutcase, the Mayor fought me at every Juliet and The Kinsey Report. any time. The sales have netted
Mr. Camermer, turn. But I proved with geometric the state $165,000 from items the
Boy oh boy are you in for a logic that there was indeed a miss- Spoilsports
I am appalled that an inn and a By David hurting. My Revolutionary ing quart of scrapple from our last The U.S. Patent Office
state is required to keep until
claimed by their owners. If they
golf course here in Berks could be Kamioner Brigade and I, all three of us, plan Haute Cuisine Festival. So much go unclaimed, state law allows for
named, given our struggle against to picket your offices until you for the opinion of a “distin- To: David Kamioner their sale.
Islama Ben Liden, “Moslem submit to our demands. They are: guished” psychiatrist. Now, seize Re: Expense voucher, Items for sale can be seen by
Springs”. Please see to it that Stop making fun of us them! going on www.patreasury.org or
these people are maimed immedi- Archives. Stop using words we don’t A case of tequila, medically going on the website eBay and
ately. understand Michael Schorn disinfected doggy toys and the searching under the seller name –
Cardinal Carlo “Bud” Martini Admit that the junior Senator Hooked up to electrodes rental of an F-4 Phantom (ordi-
You Know Where, Italy treasurerhafer.
Mrs. Horace Grumpelmayer from New York does not have Reading, PA nance included) are not generally The state continually gets new
Upper Forkelhocken calves the size of “heifers”. approved categories for the reim- property from businesses, banks
Dear Columnist, If you comply we may, just Kamioner, bursement of “business expens- and from police departments
Editor, maybe, stop holding our breath es”, even for a story on Spring which are required to turn over
In the name of demographic and stomping our feet. So there. Pickering schmickering, that Break in Cozumel. Better luck
precision, we would appreciate if property which has gone
Please have your columnist was nothing compared to what we next time, unclaimed for seven years, or
cease and desist from labeling you would inform your readers Dude intend to do to you. Your 1993
that Reading has not been dubbed more.
himself “papabile” and styling RACC opus, “The Girls of the Editorial Editor If an owner comes forward
himself a Prince of the Church. “Baseballtown” by anybody but Board of the Washington Post” Berks-Mont Newspapers
local pantywaists, but rather after an item is sold, the owner
We also demand a return of the Dear Mr. Kamioner, oughta do the trick. If not, there’s will get the full amount the prop-
“Pius XII Magic Decoder Ring” “Horribly Genetically Cursed by your “The Case for a Fascist Send your comments to:
God Crackpipetown” by our entire erty sold.
he stole from the Vatican As a former financial officer Plutocracy”, “Why I am the Locus firstname.lastname@example.org.
Dear Editor, A recent government wide sur-
State budget fails on many levels
By Michael O’Pake
gency preparedness, but includes
no funds to support volunteer fire-
not even begin to pay the freight
for our schools’ basic and special
leagues and I will do everything in
our power to ensure that next
vey of customer satisfaction fighters and ambulance personnel. education costs. year’s budget reflects more equi-
This is the time of year when showed the IRS posting the The proposed 2002-03 But, the area hardest hit in the By next year, we estimate that table treatment of our schools and
area residents begin to think about biggest gains of any agency, Pennsylvania State Budget proposed Republican Governor’s homeowners will have paid an homeowners, as well as of our
their taxes. At the Internal thanks to the high satisfaction rate unveiled earlier this year has pre- budget is education. For the estimated $2 billion in increased children and senior citizens, our
Revenue Service, we will do with IRS e-file. Last year, more sented Pennsylvanians with a record, Governor Schweiker property taxes. firefighters and other emergency
everything possible to make this than 40 million taxpayers filed multiplicity of inequities. It fails wants to increase next year’s basic Unfortunately, this budget’s personnel, the working poor, and
tax season as easy as possible. electronically. Another 40 million to provide essential health cover- subsidy by only 1 percent for 500 bad news for education is not con- environmental programs.
To that end, we urge taxpayers taxpayers used their computers age to children, disabled adults, of the Commonwealth’s 501 fined to grades K-12. This budget
to consider using IRS e-file. It's but then printed out returns and and the working poor. It com- school districts. The special edu- would cut the State System of If you agree or disagree
fast, accurate and dependable. mailed them. If you haven't tried pletely ignores the financially cation subsidy would be increased Higher Education subsidy by 3 with the senator, send
Even better, taxpayers can get e-file, this is the year. Delete the troubled state program that pro- by only 1.5 percent. Meanwhile, percent and reduce funding for
their refunds direct deposited to paper work; hit send.
your comments to:
vides discounts on life-sustaining Philadelphia schools would state-related universities. This
their checking accounts in as little prescription drugs for the low- receive a special $75 million sub- spells significant tuition increases phillips@
as 10 days. That's less than half Sincerely, income elderly. It backs off on sidy or a 12% increase, if the for our college students. berksmontnews.com
the time a refund takes for a paper Charles O. Rossotti, earlier pledges to support essential Republican Governor has his way. Rest assured that my col-
return. Commissioner environmental protection pro- The miniscule percentage
The e-file program is easy. Internal Revenue Service grams. It sets aside $100 million increases that all but Philadelphia
Taxpayers can file a completely for homeland security and emer- must try to live with next year, do EARNED INCOME TAX NOTICE TO ALL
paperless return using readily RESIDENTS AND EMPLOYERS OF THE
available tax preparation software
BOYERTOWN AREA SCHOOL DISTRICT
or through a tax professional.
There's nothing to mail to the IRS Bally Borough Douglass Twp., Montg. Co.
- not even a W-2. If taxpayers owe Bechtelsville Borough Earl Twp.
money, they can schedule an elec-
Boyertown Borough New Hanover Twp.
tronic funds withdrawal from their Colebrookdale Twp. Upper Frederick Twp.
bank account or pay with a credit Douglass Twp., Berks Co. Washington Twp.
card. ALL RESIDENTS of the above-mentioned districts who have taxable
IRS e-file also greatly reduces
errors, less than 1 percent com-
April 2002 by Jon Christman earnings are required by law to file annual final returns regardless of
whether tax is due or not. There are no exceptions. The final return
pared to almost 20 percent for must be filed by April 15, 2002. Taxpayers must file separately and
paper returns. Fewer errors mean joint returns will not be accepted. Penalty and interest in effect after
fewer delays in refunds and fewer
notices from the IRS. E-file saves
“All Rise” April 15, 2002.
time and headaches for everyone. Towering above the land, gliding continue. Where it originated, I do they need? Through cheap labor ALL EMPLOYERS located in these districts are required to withhold
Check out the IRS Web site, through the air, the eagle acknowl- not know. But where and when it will abroad and wretched working condi- the EARNED INCOME TAX and the OCCUPATIONAL PRIVILEGE
edges the past, evaluates the present, end, must be here and now. It is time tions. And these corporations do not TAX. Quarterly reports must be filed with the tax administrator.
www.IRS.gov, for more informa- and contemplates the future. From to bring this case and trial into the stand alone as defendants in this
tion. Failure to comply will result in a fine up to $500.00.
history till now and now till then, the limelight. For years corporations crime against humanity. They are
eagle’s eye serves as an eyewitness. have constructed and utilized sweat- simply a cross section of the count- IF YOU DID NOT RECEIVE PROPER FORMS BY MAIL, THEY
Its eye sees… shops to make their products and less American companies who com- ARE AVAILABLE BY WRITING, TELEPHONING, OR CALLING IN
PERSON AT THE EARNED INCOME TAX OFFICE.
HEATING OIL Across the globe, thousands of
goods in secret, but it is time to shine
light upon their secret acts in the
mit horrible acts against humanity
abroad in those pitiful working con-
miles away, a militant guard under BOYERTOWN AREA SCHOOL DISTRICT
*1000 GALLON MINIMUM
9 close supervision watches a young
girl and little brother. Living in fear,
the girl and her brother are allowed
two bathroom breaks per day. They
darkness. If American corporations
are the defendants in this crime
against humanity, then we, the
American people, must serve as the
prosecutors. It is time American cor-
ditions of sweatshops. And to think,
these American corporations have
done such deeds in the names of
financial gain and success.
EARNED INCOME TAX OFFICE
1131 MONTGOMERY AVENUE, BOYERTOWN, PA 19512
are served minute amounts of water Is this the price that must be paid
*500 GALLON MINIMUM
and even less food. Starving and
thirsting, they never see the sunlight
and sleep in slave-like quarters. Are
porations face the consequences of
the human rights’ crimes and viola-
tions they have committed for years.
for financial gain and success? Is this
the cost of a growing and booming
economy – the maltreatment of fel-
REG. HOURS: Mon. thru Fri. - 8:00-4:30
Fri., April 5th - 8:00 a.m.-7:00 p.m.
these two siblings war criminals? Are Which American corporations low human beings in sweatshops
*150 GALLON MINIMUM
they being held, watched, and guard-
ed for a crime they committed? Are
they awaiting a trial of some kind?
shall we put on trial? Who are the
major perpetrators? The list may sur-
prise you. For all your athletic appar-
abroad? If it is, then we must not pay
it. Financial gain and success are not
worth it. A human life is worth much,
Absolutely not. Instead, these chil- el and shoes, Nike and Reebok have much more than extra money in a
DollarWi$e Oil dren are included in the millions of
workers who labor in the sweatshops
for years been the leaders in this mar-
ket. How have Nike and Reebok
CEO’s salary. In fact, no price can be
placed on an individual’s life for
1-800-677-1773 of many major American companies
accomplished this? Through cheap
labor abroad and wretched working
every human life is priceless. No
more can we allow the greed of
Our new website address is: conditions. For your morning cup of American corporations to abuse
www.dollarwiseoil.com The workers in these sweatshops
coffee, the local Starbucks has humanity and overpower workers
for your next order are fed little, treated harshly, abused
always been there to provide a warm unjustly. The time to end these crimes
regularly, and paid pennies and nick-
and tasteful coffee blend. How has against humanity is now. How can we
els for a full day’s work. What horri-
Starbucks accomplished this? do this? We make it an issue.
“Prices subject to change without notice” fies me the most, however, is the fact
Through cheap labor abroad and American corporations have their
that many American companies are
wretched working conditions. For sweatshops in secret. They have
the perpetrators of this crime upon
jeans and other clothing apparel, Levi secretly abused their power and priv-
humanity. To add even more bitter
Strauss, The Gap, and Wrangler-Lee ileges for the sake of financial gain
poison to the situation, these corpora-
have been kingpins in selling the and success. Let us not remain silent
tions justify these crimes in the
denim. How have these three accom- about our opinions; rather, let us
names of financial gain and success.
plished this? Through cheap labor stand up, speak boldly, and defend
How absolutely ghastly! Numerous
abroad and wretched working condi- the right of every human being. Court
American corporations have thus
tions. And what about the store that is now in session. All rise!
stated by their actions that financial
has it all, Wal-Mart? They must be
gain and success are more important Low minimum daily balance requirement of only $100*
exempt from creating and utilizing
than a healthy, vibrant, human life.
sweatshops. Sadly now. How has
We cannot, must not, and should not
Wal-Mart become the super center
allow this atrocity of human rights to
where shoppers always find what
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