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					                                                                                                                                                                                                The Boyertown Area Times, April 4, 2002               5

     Inside Berks                                                                                                                                                                                                               State wins
   Time to regale the rest of you
with the totally fictitious letters
                                                                                                membership.                                     from outside your state I find it
                                                                                                                                                delightful that a local banking
                                                                                                                                                                                         of All Evil” or, our personal
                                                                                                                                                                                         favorite, “The Inquisition, Really
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                eBay title
your readership brethren have                                                                     American    Academy                    of     institution has been rewarded the        Such a Bad Idea?”. See ya’ in             The state is a “PowerSeller.”
been sending this columnist as of                                                               Demographers                                    appellation “Sovereign”. Does            court sucker.                             The on-line, sell anything serv-
late.                                                                                             Cambridge, Mass                               this also include the Divine Right                                              ice eBay, has announced that the
   As usual, they sparkle with the                                                                                                              of Loan Officers and a severe              People for the Soviet Way            state has been awarded Silver
cosmopolitan wit, urbane gentility                                                                Dave,                                         penalty for the killing of the             New York, NY                         PowerSeller status because of its
and love of the new and avant                                                                                                                   CEO’s deer?                                                                     sales performance, 98 percent
garde that makes Berks County                                                                      They’re on to us. Let’s split the                                                                                            positive feedback from buyers
internationally famous as the cul-                                                              loot and scram. Meet you in the                     Just Wondering,                        Dear Sir,                            and it meets eBay’s standards of
tural capitol of at least a dozen                                                               Bahamas.                                            Charles Keating                                                             openness and honesty.
square miles of Southeastern                                                                                                                                                                We regret to inform you, Mr.           Pennsylvania, through the
Pennsylvania. Or, is this West                                                                    John Fidler                                       Hahahahahaha,                        Ambrose and Mrs. Goodwin that          State Treasurer Barbara Hafer
Virginia? I always get the two                                                                    Revving up the van                                                                     copyright protection does indeed       keeps 20 to 30 items unclaimed
confused.                                                                                                                                          The rest of City Council and          exist for The Iliad, Romeo and         property items on the service at
                                                                                                  Right Wing Nutcase,                           the Mayor fought me at every             Juliet and The Kinsey Report.          any time. The sales have netted
  Mr. Camermer,                                                                                                                                 turn. But I proved with geometric                                               the state $165,000 from items the
                                                                                                   Boy oh boy are you in for a                  logic that there was indeed a miss-        Spoilsports
   I am appalled that an inn and a                      By David                                hurting.      My Revolutionary                  ing quart of scrapple from our last        The U.S. Patent Office
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                state is required to keep until
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                claimed by their owners. If they
golf course here in Berks could be                      Kamioner                                Brigade and I, all three of us, plan            Haute Cuisine Festival. So much                                                 go unclaimed, state law allows for
named, given our struggle against                                                               to picket your offices until you                for the opinion of a “distin-              To: David Kamioner                   their sale.
Islama Ben Liden, “Moslem                                                                       submit to our demands. They are:                guished” psychiatrist. Now, seize          Re: Expense voucher,                    Items for sale can be seen by
Springs”. Please see to it that                                                                    Stop making fun of us                        them!                                                                           going on www.patreasury.org or
these people are maimed immedi-               Archives.                                            Stop using words we don’t                                                                A case of tequila, medically        going on the website eBay and
ately.                                                                                          understand                                          Michael Schorn                       disinfected doggy toys and the         searching under the seller name –
                                                 Cardinal Carlo “Bud” Martini                      Admit that the junior Senator                    Hooked up to electrodes              rental of an F-4 Phantom (ordi-
                                                 You Know Where, Italy                                                                                                                                                          treasurerhafer.
  Mrs. Horace Grumpelmayer                                                                      from New York does not have                         Reading, PA                          nance included) are not generally         The state continually gets new
  Upper Forkelhocken                                                                            calves the size of “heifers”.                                                            approved categories for the reim-      property from businesses, banks
                                                 Dear Columnist,                                   If you comply we may, just                       Kamioner,                            bursement of “business expens-         and from police departments
  Editor,                                                                                       maybe, stop holding our breath                                                           es”, even for a story on Spring        which are required to turn over
                                                 In the name of demographic                     and stomping our feet. So there.                   Pickering schmickering, that          Break in Cozumel. Better luck
                                              precision, we would appreciate if                                                                                                                                                 property which has gone
   Please have your columnist                                                                                                                   was nothing compared to what we          next time,                             unclaimed for seven years, or
cease and desist from labeling                you would inform your readers                       Dude                                          intend to do to you. Your 1993
                                              that Reading has not been dubbed                                                                                                                                                  more.
himself “papabile” and styling                                                                    RACC                                          opus, “The Girls of the Editorial          Editor                                  If an owner comes forward
himself a Prince of the Church.               “Baseballtown” by anybody but                                                                     Board of the Washington Post”              Berks-Mont Newspapers
                                              local pantywaists, but rather                                                                                                                                                     after an item is sold, the owner
We also demand a return of the                                                                    Dear Mr. Kamioner,                            oughta do the trick. If not, there’s                                            will get the full amount the prop-
“Pius XII Magic Decoder Ring”                 “Horribly Genetically Cursed by                                                                   your “The Case for a Fascist               Send your comments             to:
                                              God Crackpipetown” by our entire                                                                                                                                                  erty sold.
he stole from the Vatican                                                                         As a former financial officer                 Plutocracy”, “Why I am the Locus         davkam007@hotmail.com.




Letters
Dear Editor,                                     A recent government wide sur-
                                                                                                State budget fails on many levels
                                                                                                By Michael O’Pake
                                                                                                State Senator
                                                                                                                                                gency preparedness, but includes
                                                                                                                                                no funds to support volunteer fire-
                                                                                                                                                                                         not even begin to pay the freight
                                                                                                                                                                                         for our schools’ basic and special
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                leagues and I will do everything in
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                our power to ensure that next
                                              vey of customer satisfaction                                                                      fighters and ambulance personnel.        education costs.                       year’s budget reflects more equi-
   This is the time of year when              showed the IRS posting the                           The      proposed       2002-03                 But, the area hardest hit in the         By next year, we estimate that      table treatment of our schools and
area residents begin to think about           biggest gains of any agency,                      Pennsylvania       State    Budget              proposed Republican Governor’s           homeowners will have paid an           homeowners, as well as of our
their taxes. At the Internal                  thanks to the high satisfaction rate              unveiled earlier this year has pre-             budget is education. For the             estimated $2 billion in increased      children and senior citizens, our
Revenue Service, we will do                   with IRS e-file. Last year, more                  sented Pennsylvanians with a                    record, Governor Schweiker               property taxes.                        firefighters and other emergency
everything possible to make this              than 40 million taxpayers filed                   multiplicity of inequities. It fails            wants to increase next year’s basic         Unfortunately, this budget’s        personnel, the working poor, and
tax season as easy as possible.               electronically. Another 40 million                to provide essential health cover-              subsidy by only 1 percent for 500        bad news for education is not con-     environmental programs.
   To that end, we urge taxpayers             taxpayers used their computers                    age to children, disabled adults,               of the Commonwealth’s 501                fined to grades K-12. This budget
to consider using IRS e-file. It's            but then printed out returns and                  and the working poor. It com-                   school districts. The special edu-       would cut the State System of            If you agree or disagree
fast, accurate and dependable.                mailed them. If you haven't tried                 pletely ignores the financially                 cation subsidy would be increased        Higher Education subsidy by 3              with the senator, send
Even better, taxpayers can get                e-file, this is the year. Delete the              troubled state program that pro-                by only 1.5 percent. Meanwhile,          percent and reduce funding for
their refunds direct deposited to             paper work; hit send.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      your comments to:
                                                                                                vides discounts on life-sustaining              Philadelphia schools would               state-related universities. This
their checking accounts in as little                                                            prescription drugs for the low-                 receive a special $75 million sub-       spells significant tuition increases              phillips@
as 10 days. That's less than half                                     Sincerely,                income elderly. It backs off on                 sidy or a 12% increase, if the           for our college students.                   berksmontnews.com
the time a refund takes for a paper                         Charles O. Rossotti,                earlier pledges to support essential            Republican Governor has his way.            Rest assured that my col-
return.                                                           Commissioner                  environmental protection pro-                      The miniscule percentage
   The e-file program is easy.                         Internal Revenue Service                 grams. It sets aside $100 million               increases that all but Philadelphia
Taxpayers can file a completely                                                                 for homeland security and emer-                 must try to live with next year, do         EARNED INCOME TAX NOTICE TO ALL
paperless return using readily                                                                                                                                                              RESIDENTS AND EMPLOYERS OF THE
available tax preparation software
                                                                                                                                                                                            BOYERTOWN AREA SCHOOL DISTRICT
                                                                                                                             The Eagle’s
or through a tax professional.
There's nothing to mail to the IRS                                                                                                                                                               Bally Borough                  Douglass Twp., Montg. Co.
- not even a W-2. If taxpayers owe                                                                                                                                                            Bechtelsville Borough                    Earl Twp.
money, they can schedule an elec-

                                                                                                                                Eye
                                                                                                                                                                                               Boyertown Borough                   New Hanover Twp.
tronic funds withdrawal from their                                                                                                                                                             Colebrookdale Twp.                 Upper Frederick Twp.
bank account or pay with a credit                                                                                                                                                            Douglass Twp., Berks Co.               Washington Twp.
card.                                                                                                                                                                                      ALL RESIDENTS of the above-mentioned districts who have taxable
   IRS e-file also greatly reduces
errors, less than 1 percent com-
                                                                                   April 2002                                       by Jon Christman                                       earnings are required by law to file annual final returns regardless of
                                                                                                                                                                                           whether tax is due or not. There are no exceptions. The final return
pared to almost 20 percent for                                                                                                                                                             must be filed by April 15, 2002. Taxpayers must file separately and
paper returns. Fewer errors mean                                                                                                                                                           joint returns will not be accepted. Penalty and interest in effect after
fewer delays in refunds and fewer
notices from the IRS. E-file saves
                                                                                                                “All Rise”                                                                 April 15, 2002.
time and headaches for everyone.                         Towering above the land, gliding         continue. Where it originated, I do         they need? Through cheap labor               ALL EMPLOYERS located in these districts are required to withhold
Check out the IRS Web site,                          through the air, the eagle acknowl-          not know. But where and when it will        abroad and wretched working condi-           the EARNED INCOME TAX and the OCCUPATIONAL PRIVILEGE
                                                     edges the past, evaluates the present,       end, must be here and now. It is time       tions. And these corporations do not         TAX. Quarterly reports must be filed with the tax administrator.
www.IRS.gov, for more informa-                       and contemplates the future. From            to bring this case and trial into the       stand alone as defendants in this
tion.                                                                                                                                                                                      Failure to comply will result in a fine up to $500.00.
                                                     history till now and now till then, the      limelight. For years corporations           crime against humanity. They are
                                                     eagle’s eye serves as an eyewitness.         have constructed and utilized sweat-        simply a cross section of the count-         IF YOU DID NOT RECEIVE PROPER FORMS BY MAIL, THEY
                                                     Its eye sees…                                shops to make their products and            less American companies who com-             ARE AVAILABLE BY WRITING, TELEPHONING, OR CALLING IN
                                                                                                                                                                                           PERSON AT THE EARNED INCOME TAX OFFICE.
   HEATING OIL                                           Across the globe, thousands of
                                                                                                  goods in secret, but it is time to shine
                                                                                                  light upon their secret acts in the
                                                                                                                                              mit horrible acts against humanity
                                                                                                                                              abroad in those pitiful working con-
                                                     miles away, a militant guard under                                                                                                      BOYERTOWN AREA SCHOOL DISTRICT
          91 *
  *1000 GALLON MINIMUM
                         9                           close supervision watches a young
                                                     girl and little brother. Living in fear,
                                                     the girl and her brother are allowed
                                                     two bathroom breaks per day. They
                                                                                                  darkness. If American corporations
                                                                                                  are the defendants in this crime
                                                                                                  against humanity, then we, the
                                                                                                  American people, must serve as the
                                                                                                  prosecutors. It is time American cor-
                                                                                                                                              ditions of sweatshops. And to think,
                                                                                                                                              these American corporations have
                                                                                                                                              done such deeds in the names of
                                                                                                                                              financial gain and success.
                                                                                                                                                                                                EARNED INCOME TAX OFFICE
                                                                                                                                                                                           1131 MONTGOMERY AVENUE, BOYERTOWN, PA 19512
                                                                                                                                                                                                              Phone 610-369-7616
                                                     are served minute amounts of water                                                            Is this the price that must be paid

             939*
   *500 GALLON MINIMUM
                                                     and even less food. Starving and
                                                     thirsting, they never see the sunlight
                                                     and sleep in slave-like quarters. Are
                                                                                                  porations face the consequences of
                                                                                                  the human rights’ crimes and viola-
                                                                                                  tions they have committed for years.
                                                                                                                                              for financial gain and success? Is this
                                                                                                                                              the cost of a growing and booming
                                                                                                                                              economy – the maltreatment of fel-
                                                                                                                                                                                                        REG. HOURS: Mon. thru Fri. - 8:00-4:30
                                                                                                                                                                                                          Fri., April 5th - 8:00 a.m.-7:00 p.m.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                 CLOSED HOLIDAYS
                                                     these two siblings war criminals? Are            Which American corporations             low human beings in sweatshops

             959*
   *150 GALLON MINIMUM
                                                     they being held, watched, and guard-
                                                     ed for a crime they committed? Are
                                                     they awaiting a trial of some kind?
                                                                                                  shall we put on trial? Who are the
                                                                                                  major perpetrators? The list may sur-
                                                                                                  prise you. For all your athletic appar-
                                                                                                                                              abroad? If it is, then we must not pay
                                                                                                                                              it. Financial gain and success are not
                                                                                                                                              worth it. A human life is worth much,
                                                     Absolutely not. Instead, these chil-         el and shoes, Nike and Reebok have          much more than extra money in a
 DollarWi$e Oil                                      dren are included in the millions of
                                                     workers who labor in the sweatshops
                                                                                                  for years been the leaders in this mar-
                                                                                                  ket. How have Nike and Reebok
                                                                                                                                              CEO’s salary. In fact, no price can be
                                                                                                                                              placed on an individual’s life for
 1-800-677-1773                                      of many major American companies
                                                     and designers.
                                                                                                  accomplished this? Through cheap
                                                                                                  labor abroad and wretched working
                                                                                                                                              every human life is priceless. No
                                                                                                                                              more can we allow the greed of
    Our new website address is:                                                                   conditions. For your morning cup of         American corporations to abuse
      www.dollarwiseoil.com                              The workers in these sweatshops
                                                                                                  coffee, the local Starbucks has             humanity and overpower workers
        for your next order                          are fed little, treated harshly, abused
                                                                                                  always been there to provide a warm         unjustly. The time to end these crimes
                                                     regularly, and paid pennies and nick-
                                                                                                  and tasteful coffee blend. How has          against humanity is now. How can we
                                                     els for a full day’s work. What horri-
                                                                                                  Starbucks     accomplished         this?    do this? We make it an issue.
  “Prices subject to change without notice”          fies me the most, however, is the fact
                                                                                                  Through cheap labor abroad and              American corporations have their
                                                     that many American companies are
                                                                                                  wretched working conditions. For            sweatshops in secret. They have
                                                     the perpetrators of this crime upon
                                                                                                  jeans and other clothing apparel, Levi      secretly abused their power and priv-
                                                     humanity. To add even more bitter
                                                                                                  Strauss, The Gap, and Wrangler-Lee          ileges for the sake of financial gain
                                                     poison to the situation, these corpora-
                                                                                                  have been kingpins in selling the           and success. Let us not remain silent
                                                     tions justify these crimes in the
                                                                                                  denim. How have these three accom-          about our opinions; rather, let us
                                                     names of financial gain and success.
                                                                                                  plished this? Through cheap labor           stand up, speak boldly, and defend
                                                     How absolutely ghastly! Numerous
                                                                                                  abroad and wretched working condi-          the right of every human being. Court
                                                     American corporations have thus
                                                                                                  tions. And what about the store that        is now in session. All rise!
                                                     stated by their actions that financial
                                                                                                  has it all, Wal-Mart? They must be
                                                     gain and success are more important                                                                                                        Low minimum daily balance requirement of only $100*
                                                                                                  exempt from creating and utilizing
                                                     than a healthy, vibrant, human life.
                                                                                                  sweatshops. Sadly now. How has
                                                     We cannot, must not, and should not
                                                                                                  Wal-Mart become the super center
                                                     allow this atrocity of human rights to
                                                                                                  where shoppers always find what

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