Iris Beckwith Notes

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					               Parent Presentation with Iris Beckwith on 2/4/09
                                Notes by Ilene Lees
- what complicates this issue is that parents are struggling to understand the
   technology and they don’t understand what their teens are doing on-line
- the teens know more than their parents
- Should talk to young children about the internet - lots of great info for young
   children including Faux Paw the cat from
- our teens are getting connected to technology younger and younger
Social Networking Concerns
- they are supposed to be over the age of 13 to have a Myspace account and over
   the age of 14 to have a Facebook (FB) account but most of them lie
- social networking sites like Myspace and Facebook give teens access to peer,
   school, and community info
- it can be a good tool for social and political activism and if used responsible it
   helps make social connections
- it provides a way to “try on” other personalities
- parenting is the issue when it comes to helping your teen understand how to use
   this technology
- there needs to be expanding limits depending on the age of the child
- the limits need to change with age and your teen needs to be educated about your
   family values
- kids are posting too much info on these sites
- social networking is not going away and parents can learn more about these sites
   by going on them and learning how to set one up
- Facebook has become the kid’s “bulletin board” and they post everything up there
   about their day, how they feel, who they like, etc – the difference is that it is not
- they are not using enough privacy settings and personal info can be easily
- your site is only as secure as your friend’s sites because pictures can be seen on
   many of your “friends” pages
- when pictures are put on social networking sites they are “tagged” with your
- tagging is an issue because anyone can see those tags – teens should set up
   privacy setting that notify them every time they are tagged so they can remove the
   tag if they want to
- most teens will let anyone be their “friend” whether they know them or not
- the issue of what pictures to post or not is an emerging concern
- the new picture of Michael Phelps smoking a bong was a picture taken with a cell
   phone and he had no idea that picture was being taken
- need to remember that people are taking pictures and posting them all of the time,
   the images can be saved forever

What to Teach Children about Social Networking Sites
- keep passwords private, your best friend today may be your enemy tomorrow
-  there is no anonymity online, when you log in you can be traced and tracked by
   law enforcement if needed
- think before posting
- use music that is purchased legally, college campuses especially are coming down
   hard on illegal downloading, you can get charged a fine of up to $15,000 per song
   that is illegally downloaded
- don’t agree to meet people in person that you met online and if you do, make sure
   to tell an adult
- think before posting photos, who will see it and know where you are tagged
- check your friends pages to see if there are any images or words about you that
   could cause problems
- remind your teen that colleges and future employers can “google” them to see
   what is online about them
- teens concept of strangers is totally different than an adult perspective, once a teen
   communicates online with someone 3 times they no longer see them as a stranger
- predators can be a few years older than them
Parenting Tips
- it’s important to have these discussions with your children as an ongoing
   dialogue, not just once
- the conversations don’t have to be all bad
- parents of younger teens should have access to passwords or should make their
   teen “friend” them and they should be checking periodically
- it is a privilege not a right to use technology
- if you trust your child, you have confidence in them, good communication and
   you have no concerns about them than you don’t have to check as much
- you can periodically do a “spot inspection” and you reserve that right because you
   care about them
- enforce time restrictions and make sure you communicate with your child about
   what they are doing online
- use parenting tools like Norton Family Resources
- Parent Care Download from ikeepsafe
- talk about consequences for inappropriate postings and cyber bullying – be

What to Know about Online Predators
- 42% of 7th -9th grades spoke to at least one online stranger this past year
- 9% accepted an invitation to meet an online stranger
- Myspace recently removed the profiles of 90,000 registered sex offenders from
  their website
- There are over 400,000 registered sex offenders in the USA
- Great video clip called “Exchange” on
- 1 in 5 kids is sexually solicited online
- Get your kids passwords because if you even needed them in an emergency it
  would be very difficult to get them
   What Can Parents Do
   - give age appropriate information, don’t overly scare them but prepare them
   - talk to kids about web cam and Skype technology
   - check your child’s buddy or friend list and ask them if they know all of the people
   - network with other parents
   - watch for changes in your child’s behavior
   - report suspicious contacts to NCMEC (National Center for Missing and Exploited
   - ***have a technology drop box*** - set a time with your teen when they need to
     drop off all of their connected technology (laptop, cell phone, itouch, etc) in a
     basket and then bring that basket into your room
   - Kids are on the phone or online way past the time their parents are going to bed,
     this way you know that they are no longer connected after a certain time

   Cyber Ethics
   - issues include plagiarism, illegal downloading, cyber bullying, hacking, online
      games, to post or not
   - real stories about the deadly outcome of cyber bullying include Ryan Halligan and
      Megan Meier
   - Consequences of cyber bullying can include Depression, suicide, anger, etc
   - Talk to your kids and develop empathy
   - Strategies – block the message and don’t open it, ignore the message and do not
      respond (should save it), don’t add to the frenzy and tell someone
   - Discuss what is plagiarism, school policy, citing, why this is important and what
      are the consequences
   - Beware of Peer to Peer (P2P) file sharing – could be illegal and could open up
      your computer to people that share child pornography
   - Talk about family values and how stealing music goes against those values

   Internet Addiction – Are your teens too connected?
   - are they texting during class, while walking, driving - as a parent you reserve the
      right to check the cell phone records
   - are they constantly on Facebook, worry about not being connected
   - can’t separate their on line and off line life, afraid they will miss something or
      someone will beat their character in their online game
   - they are breaking rules, dropping out of extra curricular activities, constant texting
   - are they acting violent or aggressive because of the online games, do they have a
      fixation on computers
   - talk with your teen about your observations and limit technology in the bedroom
   - set up limits and know who they are playing with on-line

Parents need knowledge and need to communicate regularly with their teens about
the use of their “Connected Technology”

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