VIEWS: 18 PAGES: 12 POSTED ON: 10/17/2011
Cast of Characters Dopey: the youngest, sweetest, of the seven dwarfs; completely bald and beardless; wears a too large lime green tunic and purple cap. Grumpy: the grouchiest of the group; wears a red tunic, long white hair and beard. Doc(s): the only one of the dwarfs to wear glasses (so presumably the most intellectual); wears an orange-brown tunic, long white hair and beard. Happy: the most rotund of the dwarfs; wears a brownish two-tone tunic, yellow cap, long white hair and beard. Bashful: evokes his bashful nature through a classic pose of shyness (hands clasped behind back, shoulders slightly raised, eyes upturned); wears purple tunic and magenta cap, as well as long white hair and beard. Sneezy: frequently shown with one finger underneath his nose, as if trying to stifle a sneeze; wears a yellow-brown tunic, long white hair and beard. Sleepy: wears a perpetually sleepy looking, heavily lidded expression on his face; wears a brownish tunic, green cap, long white hair and beard. Announcer: Opens and closes the show; dressy clothes Fairy Godmother: Helps Sleepy stay awake with audience help; magic wand and frilly costume Granny: Speaking part, sits in rocking chair enjoying show; wears old house coat, gray hair, knitting needles, orthopedic shoes, etc. 2 Accountants: Dark suits, sunglasses, briefcase handcuffed to arm Wolf: Comic relief, some speaking parts; wolf costume 3 Pigs: Rap solos, speaking parts Troll: Singing solo 3 Billy Goats: Cameo appearance during staging of “Under the Bridge” Goldilocks: Singing solo Three Bears: Cameo appearance during staging of “Hungry Hopes” ADD MORE FOR COMMERCIALS Chorus Jack’s Garden Other characters take their places on stage, off stage, Shop Commercial etc. Doc 1: Ladies, gentlemen and characters, may I have your attention. We are the Docs, some of Snow White’s dwarves, and it is my pleasure to be the Master of Ceremonies for the first annual Granny Awards. This is a live performance which we are taping for the FTC, the Fairy Tale Channel. Before we go on the air in just a few minutes, we need to go over a few things. First of all please remain seated. We also ask that you applaud generously when Dopey enters with the applause sign. [Dopey enters with applause sign and walks across the stage] That’s great! Now before we get things rolling, we’re going to take five. Grumpy: Hey, Sleepy, you had better stay here to guard the awards. Sleepy: Okay, Grumpy. [sits down, then nervously gets back up, pacing] I’d better not sit down or I’ll fall asleep. That’s the trouble with me. I fall asleep at the drop of a hat. If that happens during the show, these awards could get lost or even stolen. (sigh) Oh, how I wish I could stay awake! [bells tinkle, and Fairy Godmother appears on stage] Who are you? Fairy Godmother: Who do you think I am? Your Fairy Godmother, silly. Sleepy: I have a Fairy Godmother? Fairy Godmother: Of course, silly… you are a fairy tale character, right? All fairy tale characters have a Fairy Godmother. Now Sleepy, you just wished that you could stay awake, and I am here to grant that wish. Sleepy: How are you going to do that? Fairy Godmother: Like this. [point wand at audience] Do you see those people out there? When you start to doze, I will wave my magic wand at those wonderful people and they will say, “Wake up, Sleepy!”. Sleepy: They will?!? Fairy Godmother: Listen (wave wand at audience and they reply) Oh, goodness – you people are going to have to say it louder than that! Let’s try once more. (wave wand and they reply) That’s better, but this time, give it all you’ve got. (wave wand and they reply) Sleepy: Wow! That will keep me awake! Fairy Godmother: Of course it will. Now just relax and take your seat. Sleepy: Don’t say relax. Fairy Godmother: You’ll be just fine. (bells tinkle as she goes off stage) Red Riding Hood [Sleepy sits down in chair next to awards table] Delivery Service [Doc goes to podium and checks microphone, Bashful Commercial hold clapboard and stands near podium, Happy and Sneezy polish awards and then exit the stage] When commercial ends, Grumpy checks his watch and nods to Doc. Doc 1: Ladies and gentlemen, we are ready to begin. Grumpy: Ten seconds… five…four…three…two…one. (exit stage) [Bashful clicks clapboard and then exits the stage] Chorus, Sing: “The Granny Awards” Announcer #1 Announcer #1: And now, our Master of Ceremonies, Snow White’s helpers – Doc! [Dopey enters and walks across the stage with applause sign] Doc 1: Thank you. Thank you. I’m pleased to be your host. Before I announce tonight’s first winner, it is my privilege to introduce the person whose accomplishments we are celebrating. Ladies, gentlemen, and characters, welcome GRANNY! [Dopey enters and walks across the stage with applause sign, Granny joins Doc at podium] Granny: Good evening, and thank you! Doc 1: Granny, the reason we are all here tonight is to celebrate your 80 years in the show biz. It certainly is wonderful of you to go behind the scenes and produce an awards show honoring those dedicated fairy tale characters who entertain us! Granny: My pleasure! Has it been that long already? Why it seems like only yesterday that I began playing the part of the grandmother in Little Red Riding Hood. It hasn’t always been easy with that silly wolf always trying to tie me up. You know… he has been talking to me all week about his desire to get an award, but then so have all the other fairy tale characters. Doc 1: Granny, it’s time for you to take your seat of honor. [Dopey enters and walks across stage with applause sign, Bashful brings in a rocking chair and sets it up near the podium, Happy and Sneezy escort Granny to her rocking chair] The first award this evening is for Best Female Vocalist. The nominees are: Little Red Riding Hood for “Over the River” Rapunzel for “Hair” The Princess for “Can’t Sleep” Goldilocks for “Hungry Hopes” May I have the envelope please? [Grumpy walks on stage and gives envelope to Doc, then exits] The winner is… Goldilocks for her song, “Hungry Hopes”. Goldilocks, Three Sing: “Hungry Hopes” Bears, Chorus One, two, three, four, I am knocking at the door… Five, six, seven, eight, walking on the forest floor. Oh, hungry hopes arrive at your door Left home with nothing, so I want some more. Oh, oh, oh – You’ve walked too far. Oh, oh, oh – Don’t know where you are. Big bowl, little bowl, now I can’t tell you apart. Too hot, too cold, why didn’t they just make a tart? My hungry hopes put tears in my eyes I need to sit down, not telling no lies. Oh, oh, oh – You’ve walked too far. Oh, oh, oh – Don’t know where you are. Oh, oh, oh – You’ve walked too far. Oh, oh, oh – Don’t know where you are. One, two, three, four, gonna lay down in this bed. But it feels a too hard for my gentle sleeping head. One, two, three, four, gonna lay down in this bed. But it feels a too soft for my gentle sleeping head. Oh, oh, oh – You’ve walked too far. Oh, oh, oh – Don’t know where you are. Oh, oh, oh – You’ve walked too far. Oh, oh, oh – Don’t know where you are. bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada bada for broken chairs, for beautiful food. for broken chairs, for beautiful food. [Sleepy appears to be falling asleep throughout song] [Dopey enters and walks across the stage with applause sign] [Doc tries to get Sleepy’s attention unsuccessfully from podium, gets award himself and presents it to Goldilocks] [Wolf enters from behind chorus and creeps toward awards table] Fairy Godmother, [Bells tinkle, Fairy Godmother enters and waves her Chorus wand at audience, they respond] Louder please. [They respond, Sleepy yawns and stretches, wolf shakes his fist at Fairy Godmother and backs off] One more time. [Sleepy jumps up, startled, and gives a big “thumbs up” sign to the audience. Doc 2: That song was amazing. Apparently, it made Sleepy a little… well… sleepy! And now a word from our sponsor. Cindy and Bell’s [As they leave the stage, instrumental “Granny Awards Dress Shop Interlude” is played and Doc retakes position at Commercial podium, Bashful clicks clapboard] Doc 2: We’re back. The next award is for Best Male Vocalist. The nominees are: The Emperor for “New Clothes” The Trolls for “Under the Bridge” Jack for “Climb That Vine” Robin Hood for “Give and Take” May I have the next envelope please? [Grumpy enters stage and hands envelope to Doc] And the winner is… Troll from the “Three Billy Goats Gruff” singing his hit song, “Under the Bridge” Troll, 3 Goats, [Happy and Sneezy bring bridge on stage] Chorus Sing: “Under the Bridge” Sometimes I feel like I’m always a monster Sometimes I feel like my only friend Is the bridge I live under, the bridge of a monster Lonely as I am - together we cry I guard her wood planks cause she’s my companion I walk through these hills looking for my next meal She sees those three goats and tells me “hide under” “Trip, trap, they’re walking right into your mouth.” I don’t ever want to feel like I did that day Take me to the bridge I love, let me hide away! I don’t ever want to feel like I did that day Take me to the bridge I love, let me hide away! ADD ANOTHER VERSE HERE Under the bridge, small goat, he fooled me really bad! Under the bridge, one more, I started getting mad! Under the bridge, large goat, forgot about my fears Under the bridge, came out – he caused me lots of tears! [Wheezy nods off, but jumps up at end, picks up award and brings it to Doc who presents it to the troll] [Happy and Sneezy take bridge off-stage] Fairy Godmother, [Bells tinkle, Fairy Godmother enters and waves her Chorus wand at audience, they respond] Louder please. [They respond, Sleepy yawns and stretches, wolf shakes his fist at Fairy Godmother and backs off] One more time. [Sleepy jumps up, startled, and gives a big “thumbs up” sign to the audience. Doc 2: Uh… nice use of scenery. Must be a lonely life! And now for a word from our sponsor. Pinnochio’s [Dopey enters and walks across the stage with Puppet Shop applause sign] Commercial Doc 3: And we’re back. Before I announce the next winner, I’d like to take a moment to recognize the accounting firm of Prince Castlehouse who has tabulated the results for tonight’s awards. Ladies, gentlemen, characters, meet our accountants. [Accountants enter looking serious, while Dopey walks across the stage with applause sign] The final award this evening is for Best New Duo or Group. The nominees are: The Three Bears for “Broken Chair” The Three Billy Goats Gruff for “Over in the Meadow” The Three Pigs for “Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf” The Three Little Kittens for “Lost My Mittens” May I have the envelope please? [Grumpy walks on stage and gives envelope to Doc, then exits] The winner is… the Three Pigs for their song “Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf” 3 Pigs, Wolf, Sing “Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf” Chorus Who, who? Who, who? Who, who? Who, who? Long ago there were three little pigs Little handsome piggy-wigs For the big, bad wolf the very bad, big bad wolf They didn't give three figs Number one, he had a flaw And he built his house of straw With a root, toot, toot he played his flute And he played around all day, I say Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf, the big bad wolf, the big, bad wolf? Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf? Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf, the big bad wolf, the big, bad wolf? Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf? Number two, he had a house of sticks A little mud was in the mix With a heigh diddle-diddle he played his fiddle And danced all kinds of jigs Me, I have a house of stone And I built my house with bricks So I had no chance to sing and dance 'Cause work and play don't mix and I say: Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf, the big bad wolf, the big, bad wolf? Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf? Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf, the big bad wolf, the big, bad wolf? Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf? You play your laughing fiddle, Don’t you think you made me sore? I’ll be safe and you’ll be sorry When the wolf comes through your door. Wake up in the forest, stomach in a knot, Feeling really hungry, I know just the spot Will you open up the door and let me in, Cause I want that little chinny-chin, chin Cause I’ll huff and I’ll puff, and I’ll huff and I’ll puff – and blow your house in! Cause I’ll huff and I’ll puff, and I’ll huff and I’ll puff – and blow your house in! Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf, the big bad wolf, the big, bad wolf? Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf? Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf, the big bad wolf, the big, bad wolf? Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf? BREAK SECTION - DANCE Came the day when fate did frown And the wolf blew into town With a gruff "puff-puff" he puffed just enough And the hay house fell right down One, one and two were scared to death Of the big bad wolfie's breath "By the hair of your chin-ny-chin, I'll blow you in" And the stick house answered yes No one left but number Three (that’s me) To save the piglet family When they knocked I fast unlocked And said "Come inside with me!" Now they all were safe inside And the bricks hurt wolfie's pride Couldn’t blow us down that fateful day And now this tune we sing and play: Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf, the big bad wolf, the big, bad wolf? Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf? (tra, la, la, la, la) Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf, the big bad wolf, the big, bad wolf? Who’s afraid of the big bad wolf? (tra, la, la, la, la) [As the song progresses, the wolf gets nearer and nearer to the awards table and tries to swipe an award.] [As Dopey crosses the stage with the applause sign, Granny spies the wolf trying to sneak off, Happy and Sneezy grab him, put the award back and escort him to the stairs] Granny: [getting up from her chair] Mr. Wolf? [Wolf looks down at the floor, embarrassed] Why, it is you. I’d know those eyes anywhere. Wolf: Hi there, Granny. Granny: Mr. Wolf, your timing couldn’t have been any better. I’d love to have your help in presenting this next award. [Wolf jerks arms away from Happy and Sneezy. They let go, but stay close by] This award is an honorary Granny Award, given to the Fairy Tale character who has contributed to the field best over the last 80 years. Many factors contribute to those selected, including the importance of their role in the fairy tale, number of fairy tales involved in, and the moral of the story. May I have the envelope please? [Grumpy brings the envelope out to Doc who hands it to Granny] And the winner is… Mr. Wolf! Wolf: Who, me? Gee, guys, I don’t know what to say. Pig 1: He probably didn’t think he’d get an award until pigs flew! Wolf: I’ve always wondered if I got too carried away? Pig 2: Hogwash! Pig 3: You just like to ham it up! Granny: Actually, Mr. Wolf, I am proud of you! Wolf: You are?!? Granny: Sure I am. It is not every actor who can perform in three different shows the way you do – I mean, “The Three Pigs”, “Little Red Riding Hood” and “The Boy Who Cried Wolf”! Not many actors can keep up that pace. Wolf: [Dopey walks across the stage with the applause sign, Fairy Godmother prods a sleeping Sleepy who wakes up with a start and hands an award to Doc, who hands it to Granny, who presents it to the Wolf] (a bit emotional) Gee, thanks. I don’t think I deserve this, especially after trying to steal the award all night. All I can say, it that I am thankful that you see me for what I really am – just a wolf playing the role of a villain. I’m not that bad a guy, you know. Doc 3: Well folks, this has been quite a night! Let’s have another round of applause for all those nominated and all the winners of the Granny Awards tonight. (pause) Granny, on behalf of all of us, I’d like to thank you for a wonderful evening of fun and entertainment, and I wish you the best in continuing your accomplishments on behalf of children and fairy tales everywhere! [Dopey walks across stage with applause sign, Granny mouths “thank yous” to the audience, Happy and Sneezy take the rocking chair off stage, and all exit stage] Announcer #2: Well, from the land of fairy tales, we would like to thank you all for joining us. Good night, and we wish you all a “happily ever after”! Chorus, Granny Awards theme song revised, then Granny Awards instrumental while all characters bow, chorus Announcer #2: bows, and all exit stage and risers.
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