13 - Intervention Intensive - The 7 Master Steps.doc - Robbins by xumiaomaio


									           13 - Intervention Intensive - The 7 Master Steps.doc
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                         Copyright  Robbins-Madanes Training

                              The Seven Master Steps
                                     Film Transcript

                       Tony             Anthony Robbins
                         MPÂ Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Â Mark Peysha

 MP:Â Welcome to the special bonus film for creating lasting change:Â The Seven Master Steps
  to maximum impact. This film will show you how Human Need Psychology really works.Â
 You will see Anthony Robbins helping a variety of people one on one to resolve their biggest life
challenges. Now, if you haven’t listened to Tony’s audio program, I highly recommend
   that you do. In the audio, Tony is going to reveal the foundational principles of leadership
  which are really intrical to what this film was all about. This film was more of an advanced
    process showing you how these leadership principles can be applied to real live situations.

 Now let us take a few minutes to review two of the fundamental concepts you need to know.Â
   First, let us have a look at the Six Human Needs. These six needs are like a master key to
understanding human behavior and at the basis of everything that Tony does. The first need is
 for Certainty, the need for stability and comfort. The second need is for Variety, the need for
stimulus and change. The third need is for Significance, the need to feel special and worthy of
attention. The fourth need is for Love and Connection, the need to connect and belong. The
fifth need is Growth, the need to develop and expand and the sixth need is for Contribution, the
                                     need to give beyond yourself.

 These six needs are like a target that we are aiming at with everything we do. Whenever you
  need to understand someone, you should start with understanding their six human needs.Â
  Specifically, there are two choices that all of us are making every day. The first is: Which
needs do you value most? If your top need is for significance, you will have a very different life
 than if you value connection and love. Someone who values certainty or comfort will have a
   totally different life from someone who values growth. So if you want to understand and
  influence someone, you first need to understand which need is on the top of their list. The
second choice you need to understand is: What the person does to meet their needs? People
     can meet the same need in totally opposite ways. One person can meet their need for
significance by achieving great things. Another person might get significance by criticizing or
 even destroying great things. Both people are meeting the same need for significance but by
                     taking different actions and holding different beliefs.

    So between the person and the needs they value, there is what we call their model of the
world. In order to influence and lead this person, you need to understand and appreciate their
    model of the world. What do they need and what do they value? What beliefs do they
 hold? And what do they do in order to meet that need? So the first part of creating a lasting
change is to understand the person and how they are meeting their six human needs. In fact, if
 you can understand this one thing about the person, how they are meeting their six needs, you
   are already working at a very advanced level that will make you an extraordinarily effective

     The next part of human need psychology is actually creating the change. When Tony is
    working with a person, a couple, or even a group, he is following the Seven Master Steps for
lasting change. And if you have listened to Tony’s audio program, you will know what I am
  talking about. Here quickly are the Seven Master Steps: The first step is to understand and
 appreciate the person’s world. The second step is to create a relationship where you have
 leverage. The third step is to interrupt the person’s limiting patterns. The fourth step is
  to define the person’s problem in solvable terms. And the fifth step, you need to give the
 person creative alternatives and emotional resources to make the change. The sixth step is to
 help the person to condition their new decision so it is not a one-time decision and the seventh
    step is to help the person to relate their decision to their highest goals and most important
        relationships so that their decisions will last and improve every aspect of their life.

       So the Seven Master Steps are complete processes taking you from understanding the
    person’s needs to understanding better ways to meet their needs and then making that
     change permanent. Now I realize that they may seem like a lot to learn. But don’t
 worry! Coming up, we are going to go through the Seven Master Steps three times so that you
   can see them in action. Remember, the more that you use these steps and keep practicing
 them, the better you will be. Tony has been using these skills for over three decades and is an
       extraordinary person to model in creating change. As you watch these next sessions,
    remember that there are so many ways to get to the end result. You might use a different
  approach and that is okay. In fact, it is necessary. You need to be the kind of leader that is
right for who you are. This is much of an art as it is a science and there is no one correct way to
   create change in others. As long as you are committed to serving, you will have the ability to
   create massive shifts and you are already way ahead of the game. So as you watch the next
     interventions, keep in mind that Tony’s priorities are simple. He is only helping the
  person to change two things:Â First, which needs are they focusing on? And second, what are
 they doing to meet their needs? If you can change these two decisions, you change everything
                                     else in a person’s life.

   So let us go through our first intervention. We are at a seminar with Tony with about two
thousand people in the audience. Tony is asking people to stand up and share the reason why
  they have come to the seminar. A young woman named Michelle stood up. Four months
earlier, she had had her second child and she has been feeling frustrated about her relationship
   at home. Her husband had been so involved with his work that she is feeling completely
 neglected and ignored and she is feeling desperate. She came to Tony’s seminar in order
              to change her relationship. Tony called on her to ask her a question.
  Tony:Â How many of you came here because there is something you want to change in your
  life? How many have some specific things you want  to change, improve, shift, take to a
                           new level? Raise your hand say I.

                                          Audience:Â I.

   What is it you want to change? You came here to change what? Yes, ma’am? Your
relationship with your husband? So you want to leave him? No, no, you don’t want to do
  that? How do you want to change your relationship with your husband? Let us be specific.

   MP: What is Tony doing here? He is asking Michelle to be really clear about what she
    wants. If she can’t be clear and forthright about a specific result she wants in her
                 relationship, then she will not get the results she came for.

           Michelle: I want to be the wife that he wants me to be. I want to be…

                                  Tony:Â You want to be what?

      Michelle:Â I want to be the wife that he wants me to be to support him in his work.

      Tony:Â You want to be the wife he wants you to be and to support him in his work.

                                        Michelle:Â Yeah.

 Tony: Okay. Maybe I understand why that hasn’t happened so far. What would that
                   give you if you were the wife he wants you to be?

                        Michelle:Â He will love me more much probably.

                                 Tony:Â He will love you more.

                                      Michelle:Â Hopefully.

 Tony: Probably. Now notice how many know why she already hasn’t changed? Raise
                               your hand if you know why.

      MP:Â Does Michelle look relaxed and happy about what she is saying or does she look
  tensed? It is possible that she is just nervous but the tension in her body suggests that she is
   not at peace with the word she is saying. When she says she wants to become the wife her
husband wants her to be so that maybe he will give more love, she is taking a very disempowered
 position in the relationship. She is basically sacrificing what she wants while waiting for him
 to give her something. Tony knows that taking this position will not create the result that she
                                            is looking for.

          Tony: Does language shape the meaning of something for us? Yes or no?

                                        Audience:Â Yes.

    Tony:Â Now which needs would she have to violate to meet things the target she just
  languaged? What she languaged is “I become the wife he wants me to be.― Not
“that I want to be.― “And support him in his work and if I do that, then he probably
    will love me more.― Now as long as that is the way she describes it, sometimes your
   problem is the way your language things because language produces a biochemical effect in
 you. That tone of voice, volume, intensity, besides words affects you but words have an effect
that is why we do some of these more intense words to draw you literally your nervous system.Â
  So she is using this soft words like probably. So what needs would she have to give up to do
                                 this the way she is languaging it?

MP: This is step one of the Seven Master Steps. Tony is trying to understand Michelle’s
 needs. How she is trying to meet those needs and what is working or not working? Let us
                                 hear Tony’s explanation.

Tony: Well, first of all, does she have certainty she will be loved? Yes or no? So the chance
 of her doing this is slim to none unless you got certain that okay, if I become like this, they will
 love me. But even if she does then become a certain way that she is not wanting, so that she
  can get love. And even if she gets the love, after a while what has she done? What level of
 love is she playing with her husband? Level one where you get pissed and just demand it?Â
   Level two where you horse trade, I will do this knowing you will give me that also known as
 whoring or third, and by the way, there are male whores as much as there are females whores.

  MP: Tony is using some strong language here – whoring. So what does he mean? It
 seems that Michelle is trying to give her husband the support he wants but only as long as she
 gets something in return. We call this horse trading. Tony is pointing out that giving to get
    will not create the relationship she desires. True love is not a trade. Tony’s strong
  language is meant to help Michelle to break the pattern of horse-trading for what she wants.

Tony: Third is just loving because it is your source. Fourth is loving even if they hurt you.Â
 What level is she playing right now if she goes in this direction? Which one? What level?

                                         Audience:Â Two.

Tony: So let me explain something to you. Level two love always makes you feel like you are
 a whore. It doesn’t feel like love. You get pissed. You get angry even to people giving
 you love when you are the one who made the transaction at. You set up the transaction and
                                    you are pissed at them.

MP:Â Tony is looking for a part of Michelle that is responsive and that has the power and ability
    to transform the relationship. She needs to feel totally responsible for her part of the
                          relationship without blaming the husband.

  Tony:Â Because you know, you were really loving to love; you were loving to get something.Â
So many of you are looking at the problem as her husband right now. I would suggest to you the
 problem is the illusion she has that life is a trade. That is her model. At least right now. If
 she keeps that model, we can get her happy and loving him but as long as she holds that model,
  will this woman be unhappy in her life, yes or no? I want you to get that what we are here to
   do the next few days is not solve the problem but to solve what creates it; what creates them
 all. This is a deeper level of work. That is why it seems complex at first but you are going to
 spill an acceleration of your understanding where your level of being a practical psychologist in
 the next few days is going to explode. Whenever somebody stands up, you want to make this
as the greatest learning experience. You are listening to every word. You are looking at every
   bit of the physiology. Remember yesterday when you test at someone you can how words
literally affect someone’s strength or weakness in their body instantly? Whether it was the
   truth versus the lie? She just told a lie and look at her body. Now she is smiling nowÂ
  because you are all looking at her. She is feeling uncomfortable but kind of also liking the
     attention by the way which is what she is really dying for sir. Yes. Look at her, yes.

                               Michelle:Â From my husband, yes.

 Tony: Yes. I know that. But she will take it from anything right now. People look as she
   lights up. Because that is what feminine energy needs and for gentlemen, let me teach you
   something right now in case you don’t do what is so critical when you got this it will help
  you so much. Men think you do something, you love your wife or you love the person at your
life and then you go to your work and you do that and you do this, you do that. And if you have
  let them know you love them, they know. That is not how it works. Feminine energy needs
               attention – here is the key word – “all the time.― Okay?

                                       [audience laughing]

                         Tony:Â Ladies if you agree, make some noise.


 Tony:Â Now guys, guys could you imagine me saying men need attention all the time and you

                                       [audience laughing]

 Tony: No, it is another planet, okay? But it is beautiful planet that makes us alive. If you
can give your woman more attention than she ever dreamed possible, you will own her soul and
 she will do “anything― for you and it will not be a trade because she will feel filled up by
your presence, by your total presence of being here. Now attention doesn’t mean you look
    up from your computer and you go, “Hi, honey, I love you,― then go back. Or the
 newspaper. It is a different kind of attention. So this woman is starving for attention. So
  starving she is willing to try and do something else but there is another reason why she is not
loving him; she is punishing his [0.13.42] for not giving her attention. Am I right or wrong?Â
                                      Look at that little giggle.

                                    Michelle:Â You are right.

 Tony:Â But here is the problem, when you withhold your love, all pain you will ever experience
   in your life is because you withheld your love from anyone including someone trying to hurt
  you. Because when you withhold the love, you can’t feel it. When you don’t feel it,
 you don’t have it. When you don’t have it, you go into fear and scarcity and then you
try to figure out how to get what is already inside you. Then you start trading or demanding or
  believing it will never be there. You chose them for a reason.  I am here to tell you. No
matter how thin you slice it, there is always two sides. No matter how thin you slice it, there is
always two sides. None of us like to be oh, my side is thinner, yours is thicker. There are still
 two sides. She, what she languaged did as, well, you know I will become the woman he wants
me to become and support him in his job you know and probably he will love me. What she is
really saying is I am not going to do that. And the way she is doing is by languaging it in a way
  that would make her feel insignificant if she did it. Does that make sense? I got to become
   something I am not for him and then even then I am not certain you will love me so I have to
   give up significance and certainty. What do you think the chances of her doing that are?Â
 None. She is really here hoping I will fix him. Look at that. Look at that smile. That is
                       what it is. She came here so I would fix his ass.

                                       [audience laughing]

   MP: This is step three of the Seven Master Steps: Tony is interrupting Michelle’s
   disempowering pattern – the pattern of blaming her husband and thinking of herself as
  powerless in the relationship. He is also interrupting Michelle’s habit of thinking that
                            everything in the relationship is a trade.

Tony:Â So I want to point out to you that she came here because she said she wanted to change
          her relationship. What do you really want in your relationship is what?

                                 Michelle:Â Love and attention.

Tony: Love and attention. That is right. And how much love and attention do you want?Â
                                        How often?

                    Michelle: Well, I want lots. I get none at the moment.

Tony: None. None for him is all I ever thought I could ever give to a human. Maybe but for
    her it is none. Now maybe it is true. Maybe it is absolutely none. Maybe they are
 punishing each other at this stage and so they cut each other off in that. It will not get better
by you waiting for the other person to give it. You are going to have to lift your level of love.Â
                   Not because he wants you to because that is what you are.

   MP: This is step four: Reframe the problem in solvable terms. As long as Michelle is
blaming her husband, she is not really committed to solving the problem. If Michelle wants to
have more love and attention, then she needs to have something that she can do to create more
  love and attention. And one thing that is completely in her power is her ability to decide to
                      raise the level of love that she gives to her husband.

  Tony:Â If you lift your level of love and you really love from that place, you will melt his heart
  and if you keep doing it and you are not measuring, because the minute you do it for a while,
   well, I have been doing it for a month and they haven’t turned around. You are still a
 whore. You are still a horse trader because you are measuring. Anytime you are measuring,
 you are in that position. Now if you do that for the next six months from your soul without all
these language not trying to harm him, not judging and he doesn’t respond to you at all then
 he is probably dead inside and then maybe it is time to make a change in your life. And there
are some people whose life is completely about themselves and no matter what you do, there are
 some people that aren’t aligned but I haven’t seen him, I don’t know, but my have
 been is not it. I can see right now what the number one challenge is. Now if I was talking to
 him, I will be able to be in the same conversation with him and so I am indirect with. Because
  everything I am saying to you also goes for him. Now what would you need to be giving him
                                         for him to feel love?

               Michelle: Well, I don’t know because I have tried everything.

 Tony: Okay, well, when was the last time you were intimate? And when you are at it, well,
                               first when was the last time?
    Michelle:Â Well, I just had a baby so we have only done it twice since we had the baby.

                                 Tony:Â How long ago was that?

   Michelle: Four months ago. Well, the baby was born four months ago. We did it just
                                probably three weeks ago.

                        Tony: Right. So we did it twice since the baby.

        Michelle: Well, he is always away on business as well. It is not just you know.

 Tony: So there is not a lot of proximity? And what is the greatest source of love that you go
after? Where do you get your love these days? What is your vehicle for meeting that need?Â
                              That big need for love and attention?

               Michelle:Â My two boys, my five-year-old and my four-month-old.

MP: Tony knows that Michelle has the ability to attract her husband’s full attention. The
problem is that she has lost touch with the creative part of herself that could seduce her husband
or provoke him or tease him. So now Tony is moving into step five: Create new empowering
   alternatives that will help Michelle to wake up to her real ability to influence her husband.

  Tony: So I know what is difficult. I heard all those things over there but I will tell you
  something. If you really wanted his attention, the way to have his attention is you have to
 develop another personality because now you have a personality called a mother. And men
            love a mother but they usually do not want to make love to a mother.

                                    Michelle: Well, I am…

  Tony: And that doesn’t mean you are not respecting being a mother. I just mean you
  have to go shift out of mother into wife, lover, affaire, playmate, friend, fun, kickass, sensual
sexe or sexual sensei, whatever the hell it is, something that takes a different spark in you. Tell
me the name of the mother in you. Give me her name. What is her name? Just give me her
name. Who is Mom? Who is the mother? Give her a name. The one who doesn’t –
 whose love is generic and loves the children beautifully but doesn’t produce a lot of energy
                             in your husband. What is her name?

                                       Michelle:Â Michelle.

                                        Tony:Â Michelle.

                                     Michelle:Â Same name.

       Tony: Okay. Have you ever owned you husband like drove him crazy sexually?

                                   Michelle:Â IÂ am not sure.

                                       [audience laughing]

                                      Tony:Â What is that?
                                     Michelle:Â I think so.

 Tony: You think so. Okay, you remember a specific time? Maybe a while ago? A long
                  time ago? Do you remember the time when you met?

                                        Michelle:Â Yes.

                               Tony: Oh, look at that. Wow.

                                      [audience laughing]

      MP: Tony has been looking for a sign of Michelle’s creativity and her emotional
  resources. When he asked her about the day that she met her husband, Michelle responded
 with a confidence and a sensual energy that we haven’t seen before. That is the emotional
resource she needs. Tony is now going to help her to magnify and build up that emotion so she
can direct it towards her husband. When she can do that, she can be confident in her ability to
                                        get his attention.

Tony: And do you remember what you were feeling then? Do you remember how you looked
 at him? How did you look at him? What did you do to seduce him? Come on tell us the
                               truth. Do you remember?

                                     Michelle: Well I…

                                     Tony:Â What is that?

              Michelle: I thought he was the sexiest man I had ever seen so…
               Tony:Â She thought he was the sexiest man she had ever seen.


MP: This is step six: Condition the new behavior. Tony is helping Michelle to magnify the
  sexy and exciting part of herself so that she can bring that energy back into her marriage.

    Tony: Did you tell him that? Or did you tell him with your eyes or your voice or your
                  body? How did you tell him that? Did you tell him?

                            Michelle:Â You mean when I met him?

 Tony: Yeah when you thought that he was the sexiest man that you had ever met. Did you
 tell him verbally that he was sexy? Did you tell him with your eyes? Did you tell him with
your face? Did you tell him with the way you moved your body? Your voice? How did you
                                           tell him?

 Michelle:Â With my eyes because when we met, it was through our mutual friends and I just
                      shook his hand and held contact with his eyes.

                      Tony: Yeah, did you send him energy? Oh, yes.

                                     Michelle:Â Yes, I did.
                                     [audience laughing]

 Tony: Yeah, yeah. Who was that girl? What is her name? Who was that playful, sexy,
                    crazy, wild, sensual, I-am-gonna-get-yah woman?

                               Michelle:Â Well, also Michelle.

    Tony: But let us give her a different – are they the same Michelle? Is she the same

                                       Michelle:Â No.

   Tony: No, it is not. So give a name to us. Give a nickname to this Michelle that would
    induce you back in that state for a moment. What is a name that would put you in that
place? Maybe a stripper name or something. I don’t know. Something silly, something
                              crazy, something to make you smile.

                                    Michelle:Â Cinnamon.

                                     Tony:Â Cinnamon.


Tony: Look at that face. Look at that face. Look at Cinnamon.  Now Cinnamon is hard
                                          to resist.

                      Michelle:Â Well, I am overweight at the moment.

Tony:Â Yeah, well that, so what she needs by the way at this moment is the other thing women
              need all the time is reassurance. When do they need it ladies?

                                   Audience:Â All the time.

 Tony: All the time. That is what they do with each other. Can you imagine a guy going to
             another guy and going, “Does my ass look nice in this pants?―

                                     [audience laughing]

 Tony: Women will always, “Oh, you look great. You look wonderful. You are feeling
incredible.― It is an important of the feminine energy. So that truth of the matter is she
 goes back to that but no, how many thought Cinnamon when she went Cinnamon – look at
her, she goes again. Cinnamon. How many thinks Cinnamon is irresistible and beautiful?Â
                                           Say aye.


               Tony:Â Okay, Cinnamon, how do you feel right now, Cinnamon?

                                   Michelle:Â I feel great.
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