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					                                                                                                                                            Today Thursday sepTember 29, 2011   T4                                                                                                                                                   Today Thursday sepTember 29, 2011           T5

             television                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              television

How I met
my maker                                 Inspired by Charlie Harper’s sitcom death,
                                     we plan the sending-off of other TV characters
                                                who ought to be pushing daisies too                                                                                             Charlie Harper                       Derek Shepherd and Meredith Grey                          Ted Mosby                                     Leonard Hofstadter                                  The cast of Glee                                 Vanessa Abrams

                                                                                                                                                                 We don’t know about you, but for us,         the reason for TV characters getting           and/or superfluous characters from other              It was a tragic way to die for one so         Leonard was a good guy whose lust for life            Still, they were united. The Glee Club
                                                                                                                                                                 there has been no happier occasion this      killed off — George from Grey’s Anatomy        sitcoms and dramedies who arguably               dedicated to parenting — being ripped              was exceeded only by his lust for the hot        met an ensemble end during a rehearsal,
                                                                                                                                                                 year than Charlie Harper’s funeral.          comes to mind, for example, as does edie       deserve to sleep with the fishes. So, not        limb from limb by his own children in a            blonde chick next door, the hot sister of        when a particularly high note hit by
                                                                                                                                                                      Yes, the character has been             from Desperate Housewives. But it’s not        only have we made up some nifty excerpts         berserk and frenzied attack as they yelled,        his friend Raj, and, ahem, Miss Leslie Winkle.   Rachel Berry caused a large fissure in the
                                                                                                                                                                 unceremoniously killed off, following the    that often that a funeral scene is worked      from their fantasy funeral eulogies, we’ve       “For Pete’s sake, just tell me how you met               I am sure that, upon reflection,           McKinley High auditorium ceiling.
                                                                                                                                                                 firing of Charlie Sheen from top-rated       into a sitcom or dramedy. After all, it’s in   also concocted satusfyingly violent and          my mother!!!” It turns out, no matter how          Dr Sheldon Cooper will eventually see                 And now let us raise our voices in
                                                                                                                                                                 sitcom Two And A Half Men, in the first      very bad taste to make fun of someone          bloody deaths for them.                          much a son and daughter might love their           fit to withdraw the lawsuit against him          tribute by singing the closing song: Don’t
                                                                                                                                                                 episode of the show’s newest season. And     unexpectedly kicking the bucket.                    After all, “everyone dies” is a classic     father, there comes a point when being             for violating the terms of the roommate          Stop Interring.
                                                                                                                                                                 that’s music to our ears not only because         But we just love how Two And A Half       Shakespearean ending. And if it was good         forced to sit on the couch and listen to           agreement once again (Article 12,
                                                                                                                                                                 we’ve found the misogynistic character       Men creator-producer Chuck Lorre and           enough for Shakespeare, it’s good enough         meandering stories for six years on end            Section 43: Roommate must give at least          Vanessa Abrams from
                                                                                                                                                                 to be tiresome and unfunny for the           his team of writers got their snarky backs     for us. MAY SEAH                                 without any toilet breaks gets to be a little      two months’ notice before expiring).             Gossip Girl
                                                                                                                                                                 eight years he was on, but also because      on Sheen by literally throwing Charlie                                                          too much for anyone.                                     And now, with the assistance of his        Hey, Upper east Siders. It’s a wonder any
                                                                                                                                                                 Sheen is being replaced by the decidedly     under a train in the Paris metro (he simply              Catch Two And A Half Men,                   But take heart, dear friends. For             close friend Mr Howard Wolowitz, it is           of you are here, what with the exclusive
                                                                                                6311 9162      
                                                                                                                                                                 less-tiresome and most assuredly funny       “exploded like a balloon full of meat”, says   currently available as early as 24 hours after   although the mother of Ted’s children turned       with deepest respect that we proceed to          Prada sample sale going on right now on
                                                                                                                                                                 Ashton Kutcher. We’re now going to start     stalker neighbour Rose in her eulogy).         its US telecast, any time on demand through      out to be “your Uncle Barney from that             launch Leonard’s ashes out into space, in        Fifth Avenue. Still, I know you all like to do
GV EXCLUSIVE                                                                  Ticket Price : $20 (Public)                                                        watching Two And A Half Men again.                Now, we’re going to ask you to please       SingTel mio TV’s Season Pass. Call 1610 or     time when he was a woman”, we can all feel         accordance with his last will and testimony.     your bit for charity.
                                                                                            $18 (Member)                                                              A clash of actor with creator/          forgive our morbidity. It’s just that we can   visit for more information.     comforted when we picture Ted trudging,                  Please bow your heads as we                     Vanessa was born and bred in
                                                                             Venue : GV Marina   Venue : GV Grand                                                producer, as in Sheen’s case, has oft been   think of plenty of other annoying, boring                                                       in his red cowboy boots, towards the light.        meditate on his last words: “I shouldn’t         Brooklyn, and if she had been content to
                                                                            Date : Today, 7pm    Date : 30 Sep, 7pm                                                                                                                                          Derek Shepherd and Meredith                                                                         have had that burrito with sour cream.”          stay there, she would not have met the
                                                                                   30 Sep, 9pm           1 Oct, 4pm
                                                                                   1 Oct, 9pm                                                                                                                                                                Grey from Grey’s Anatomy                         Leonard Hofstadter from                                                                             tragic end that she did when, during an
                                                                           Tickets on sale now at GV box offices or                                                                                                                                           My dear friends, it is a sad, sad thing when     The Big Bang Theory                                The entire cast of Glee                          attempt to get hair like Blake Lively’s, her
                         ON BIG SCREEN!                                            online at                                                                                                                                                   the young are cut off in their prime. But in     We are gathered here today to honour               They say that only the good die young.           curling tongs set her hair ablaze.
      VIVOCITY             PLAZA SINGAPURA              GRAND, GREAT WORLD                  MARINA SQUARE                  YISHUN                                                                                                                            the case of Derek and Meredith, I’m not so       the life of Dr Leonard Hofstadter, who was         Today’s funeral proves otherwise.                     Still, it’s a fact that nobody liked her.
2.30 4.50 7.10 9.30pm   11.50am 2.10 4.30 6.50  2.30 4.50 7.10 9.30pm   2.20 4.50 7.15 9.40pm   12.10 2.30 4.50 7.15
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             sad. And they weren’t all that young, either.    tragically killed in a freak laboratory accident        Oh, sure, they were pretty good at          In fact, if you Google her name, you’ll get
ABDUCTION▲ 12.25 2.40
                                                ABDUCTION▲ 2.45 5.00    ABDUCTION▲ 12.20 2.35
                                                                                                9.35pm                                                                                                                                                            When Dr and Mrs Shepherd decided            involving his congenital lactose intolerance       singing and stuff, I guess. But they were        “Vanessa Abrams annoying” as a search
                        ABDUCTION▲ 12.15 2.30                                                   ABDUCTION▲ 12.20 2.40
4.55 7.10 9.25pm
                        4.45 7.00 9.15pm
                                                7.15 9.30pm             4.50 7.10 9.25pm
                                                                                                4.55 7.10 9.25pm
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             to end it all together, they left no goodbye     and the open flame of a Bunsen burner.             also peppy, angsty, obnoxious and trite by       suggestion. I guess what I’m really trying
COLOMBIANA*                                     I DON’T KNOW HOW        COLOMBIANA*
12.00 2.20 4.40 7.00    COLOMBIANA*             SHE DOES IT▲ 1.00 3.00 12.50 7.30pm             COLOMBIANA*                                                                                                                                                  note, so I’m going to go ahead and assume             even though his contributions to              turns — sometimes all at once — and              to say is ... Help yourself to peanuts and
                        12.10 2.30 4.50 7.10                                                    12.00 2.20 4.40 7.00
                                                5.00 9.45pm             I DON’T KNOW HOW        9.20pm
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             the whiny couple annoyed themselves as           science were negligible and his work in            their mothers had obviously never taught         chin chow, and if we hurry, we might still
I DON’T KNOW HOW                                                        SHE DOES IT▲ 3.15 5.15
SHE DOES IT 2.15 4.15
            ▲           I DON’T KNOW HOW SHE    FRIGHT NIGHT*▲ 12.45
                                                3.00 5.15 9.45pm        7.15 9.15pm             I DON’T KNOW HOW SHE                                                                                                                                         much as they annoyed me.                         experimental physics was derivative —              them that it was socially unacceptable to        be able to pick up a cute pair of boots at
                        DOES IT▲ 1.00 3.00 5.00                                                 DOES IT▲ 1.00 7.30pm
7.30 9.30pm
                        7.00 9.00pm                                     FRIGHT NIGHT*▲ 12.30                                                                                                                                                                      Owing to some delicate constitutions        I’m just quoting his best friend here —            break out into song without warning.             the sale. XOXO!
APOLLO 18* 11.55am 1.50 LAN KWAI FONG*▲+ MAND                           2.45 5.00 9.35pm        LAN KWAI FONG*▲+ MAND
3.45 5.40 7.35 9.30pm                                                                           12.50 2.55 5.00 7.05                                                                                                                                         in the audience, the details of DerMer’s
                        12.55 3.00 5.05 7.10                            1911*▲+ MAND 12.00 2.30 9.10pm
LAN KWAI FONG*▲+ MAND 9.35pm                        I DON’T KNOW        5.00 9.50pm                                                                                                                                                                          passing are unsuitable to share here. Suffice
12.50 3.00 5.10 7.15                                                                            FRIGHT NIGHT - 3D*▲
                       DOLPHIN TALE - 3D*
                                                    HOW SHE DOES IT          JURONG POINT       1.45 6.15pm                                                                                                                                                  it to say that death by vernier caliper is an
                                                    4.00 6.45pm
DOLPHIN TALE - 3D*     DOLPHIN TALE* 12.45 2.30                         FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS*▲ FRIGHT NIGHT* 12.45
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             unorthodox way to go. It did, however, leave
                                                                        12.30 2.50 5.10 7.30    3.00 5.15 9.45pm
7.00pm                 5.00 7.15pm                TIONG BAHRU PLAZA
                                                                        9.50pm                  1911*▲+ MAND 12.00 2.30
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             most of their vital organs intact for swift
2.00 4.25 9.00pm       12.15 9.55pm             FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS*▲ ABDUCTION▲ 12.20 2.40 5.00 9.30pm                                                                                                                                                    and lucrative sales on the organ transplant
                                                2.20 4.40 7.00 9.20pm                           MAUSAM*+ HINDI 3.00
FRIGHT NIGHT - 3D*▲    FRIGHT NIGHT*▲ 12.30                             4.55 7.10 9.25pm
                                                                                                6.15 9.30pm
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             black market.Yeah, score for Cristina.
11.45am 1.25 9.35pm    2.45 5.00 9.40pm         ABDUCTION▲ 2.40 4.55    COLOMBIANA*
                             ▲+                 7.10 9.25pm             4.40 7.00 9.20pm             TAMPINES MALL
FRIGHT NIGHT*▲ 10.45am 1911* MAND 11.10am
12.00 1.00 3.15 5.30   1.40 4.10 9.10pm         I DON’T KNOW HOW SHE I DON’T KNOW HOW SHE FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS*▲                                                                                                                                            Ted Mosby from
                                                DOES IT▲ 7.55pm
9.55pm                 TATSUMI  + JPN                                   DOES IT 4.30 8.45pm     12.20 2.40 5.00 7.20 9.40pm
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             How I Met Your Mother

1911*▲+ MAND 11.30am   7.30pm                   FRIGHT NIGHT*▲ 1.10     FRIGHT NIGHT - 3D*▲     ABDUCTION▲ 12.10 2.25
2.00 4.30 9.10pm         BISHAN JUNCTION 8 3.25 5.40 9.55pm             6.30pm                  7.10 9.25pm                                                                                                                                                  We are gathered here today in memory of
THE TREE OF LIFE 11.00am FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS*▲       1911*▲+ MAND 1.50 4.20           FRIGHT NIGHT*▲ 12.40       COLOMBIANA*                                                                                                                               Theodore evelyn Mosby.
1.45 6.30pm              12.10 2.30 4.50 7.10          6.50 9.20pm                      2.55 5.10 9.55pm           9.00pm
TATSUMI+ JPN             9.30pm                        MAUSAM*+ HINDI 2.45              1911*▲+ MAND 11.40am       I DON’T KNOW HOW
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   When I think of Ted, I think of
4.30 6.50 9.15pm         ABDUCTION▲ 12.30 4.45         6.00 9.15pm                      2.10 7.25pm                SHE DOES IT▲ 2.55 7.00                                                                                                                    the glory days of his youth as a young
                         7.00 9.15pm                                                                               9.10pm
                                                           TATSUMI | M18 | Sexual Scenes, ABDUCTION | PG13 |       LAN KWAI FONG*▲+ MAND
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             architect in New York City. For, really, that
                        I DON’T KNOW HOW SHE
                        DOES IT▲ 2.45 9.00pm
                                                           Brief Coarse Language, FRIGHT NIGHT | NC16 | Violence   12.50 4.55 9.00pm                                                                                                                         is all I know of Ted, as he was a person
                                                           & Coarse Language, FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS | M18 |
                                                                                                                   DOLPHIN TALE* 11.30am
                       DOLPHIN TALE* 11.20am
                       1.45 4.10 6.35pm
                                                           Some Sexual Scenes & Sexual References, 1911 | PG13     1.55 4.20 6.45pm
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             who dwelt chiefly in the past. Also, I’ve
 BENEFITS 11.30am 2.00
                       FRIGHT NIGHT*▲ 11.30am
                                                           | War Violence, COLOMBIANA | NC16 | Some Violence &
                                                                                                                   FRIGHT NIGHT - 3D*▲                                                                                                                       heard that he used to have friends.
 4.30 7.10 9.50pm                                          Coarse Language, APOLLO 18 | PG13 | Some Disturbing     11.55am 6.30pm
                       1.45 4.00 6.15pm
                                                           Scenes & Coarse Language, LAN KWAI FONG | M18 |                                                                                                                                                         Although the legendary Barney,
                       1911*▲+ MAND 11.45am                                                                        FRIGHT NIGHT*▲ 11.10am
 SHE DOES IT 3.50      2.15 4.45 9.25pm
                                                           Sexual Scenes, MAUSAM | PG | Some Violence              1.25 4.40 6.55pm                                                                                                                          Marshall, Lily and Robin aren’t here to send
 FRIGHT NIGHT▲ 1.30              Cinema opens 30 mins before 1st show. All movie rated PG unless otherwise
                                                                                                                   1911*▲+ MAND 11.00am                                                                                                                      him off on his final journey, I am sure they
                                                                                                                   1.30 4.00 6.30pm
 6.00pm                       stated, Session times are subject to change, No Free Passes, + English Subtitles,
                                                                          *                                        MAUSAM*+ HINDI 3.40
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             would have come, had they still been in
                                                                , No refunds for uncollected tickets.
                                                                                                                   9.10pm                                                                                                                                    contact with Ted. It is, however, conceivably
               More movie choices and session times are available at all GV cinemas.                                                                                                                                                                         difficult to keep in touch with somebody
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