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					WOMAN SERIES ONE The major problem in our society today is a lack of leadership. Countless writers, preachers, teachers of the gospels and public speakers have said so much about leadership: the making of leaders, the attitude of leadership, the spirit of leadership and the like, but it seems that little or no attention has been paid to what is being said. Great men such as Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., Major General Muritala Muhammed to mention a few, had desires for true leadership. This has always been the major concern in every generation and those who exhibit these traits do so either for selfish reasons or for the concern of the people and society where they live. It is however of major concern to see the role of leadership gradually fading away in every generation. Pertinent questions to ask are; Who is actually a leader? Where does leadership start from? How can a leader be made? What are the things expected from a leader? Dr. Myles Munroe wrote in his book “The Spirit of Leadership” that trapped within every follower is a hidden leader. The most important quality of true leadership is the spirit of leadership. All

humans possess the leadership spirit, but only those who capture the spirit of leadership ever become truly effective leaders. This statement is very true, compared to Elisha’s response to Elijah when he asked him what he wanted him to do for him, Elisha said, “I pray thee, let a double portion of thy spirit be upon me.” What Elisha asked for was not something Elijah could make available to him but Elisha knew that this was the only thing that could sustain him in days to come; the only thing that would make his impact felt in his own time and generation. So Elijah said to him “thou hast asked a hard thing: nevertheless, if thou see me when I am taken from thee, it shall be so unto thee; but if not, it shall not be so.” This means the spirit of leadership truly exists because if we read further, we will see that the bible makes us understand that “as they still went on, and talked, that, behold, there appeared a chariot of fire, and horses of fire, and parted them both asunder; and Elijah went up by a whirlwind into heaven. …and he took hold of his own clothes, and rent them in two pieces. He took up also the mantle of Elijah that fell from him, and went back, and stood by the bank of Jordan; and he took the mantle of Elijah that fell from him, and smote the waters, and said, where is the

Lord God of Elijah? and when he also had smitten the waters, they parted hither and thither: and Elisha went over. And when the sons of the prophets which were to view at Jericho saw him, they said, the spirit of Elijah doth rest on Elisha. And they came to meet him, and bowed themselves to the ground before him.” The question is, what is happening in our own time and generation? Are there true leaders? Leadership is essence and this is corroborated by various authors who have described it in such terms as service, influence and integrity. This book aims to give answers to an area of leadership where little or no attention is paid, helping you capture the essence of true leadership potentials and the attitudes of a leader as we examine the role of leadership from home building. I have had opportunity to listen to people talk about women and realized that some people have no respect for women and this is because of some shameful attitudes some women indulge in. This has opened women to all forms of attack and negative replications of their person. But my question is, who exactly is a woman? This is one question that has touched my heart and has

become an ache in my heart. Mainly because the way some men treat their wives is dehumanizing. Who Is A Woman? Judith Anderson said there is nothing enduring in life for a woman except what she builds in a man’s heart. I will leave you to judge that statement yourself, but I will like to extrapolate some core truths from the scripture as well as from authors that I believe will open our understanding to who a woman is. A large number of people associate woman with sex and this has made us lose the importance of a woman is. The bible makes us to understand that “the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made He a woman, and brought her unto the man and Adam said this is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” A woman according to Hebrew interpretation is made: “to be real, present, or alive” and what we do as men is to protect, guide, and direct according to the book of Proverbs (NIV) which saying “blessed is the man who finds wisdom, the man who gains understanding, for she “wisdom” is more profitable than silver and yields better returns than gold. She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.

Long life is in her right hand; in her left hand are riches and honor. Her ways are pleasant ways, and all her paths are peace. She is a tree of life to those who embrace her; those who lay hold of her will be blessed.” The woman is wisdom according to the bible, which also tells us to “get wisdom, get understanding” meaning in a place where there is lack of wisdom, there will also be a lack of understanding- “…do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you. Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding. Esteem her” -the woman in your home, your legally married wife- “and she will exalt you; embrace her, and she will honor you. She will set a garland of grace on your head and present you with a crown of splendor.” The role of women in the home, acting as leaders, is very important and paramount; we must learn to recognize their presence and give them the honor due them if we really plan to achieve anything of great significance. Being a Woman Women pass through five stages in their life according to Webster dictionary.

• • • • •

Girl Lady Woman Mother and Grand mother.

The Girl. A girl is a woman to be within the ages zero to twenty. At this particular stage of her life, she knows nothing about life, marriage or courtship. Some parents and cultures marry off their daughters at an early age, believing that will keep them attractive to their husbands and give them the opportunity to build their homes. This is however all lies. First, a girl that is married while still a teenager knows nothing about marriage or making of homes. Not even the blissful experience of what marriage is all about. The earlier they get married and give birth, the weaker they become. Teenage years are not the time to think of marriage but to chart a better course for their future. Planning for the future should be paramount during a girl’s teenage years. It is important for her to ask herself certain detailed questions about what she really wants out of life. As a matter of fact, it is not the time for her to think about having a boyfriend.

My advice to us as parents is that, even if you don’t have money to educate your daughters; do not give them off in marriage, help them instead, to plan a future. Train them on the right path from the cradle so that when they are old enough to think on their own, they will be able to think right. The same applies to the boy-child. Children take after their parents, societies are built based on individuals’ personalities, and nations are built after family patterns. If you want to know the state of a nation in the next twenty years, check the family structure of that nation; it’s the prototype of the nation. God said that they have cast lots for My people, Have given a boy as payment for a harlot, And sold a girl for wine, that they may drink. Indeed, what have you to do with Me, O Tyre and Sidon, and all the coasts of Philistia? Will you retaliate against Me? But if you retaliate against Me, Swiftly and speedily I will return your retaliation upon your own head. (Joel 3:3,4). The Lady. A lady is someone within the ages twenty to thirty plus and unmarried. At this age, a lady is expected to have finished her higher education or learnt a trade, if she did not have the opportunity of going to higher

institution. She is expected to be standing on her own and giving support to her expected husband in any way she can; if she believes and has absolute in him. During her schooling or learning period, she might acquire certain information and skills from those already married. In so doing, it will help her to have a better vision and focus on what qualities she wants in her husband. For example no woman prays to marry a man who would beat her. Every woman wants a man that will value and appreciate her. Every woman wants a man that they can be proud of and who will be proud of them, not one that will treat them like something that doesn’t exist. Now when you don’t allow them to mature in age before going into marriage, how will you expect them to handle difficulties in their marriage when it occurs? Marriage is not a training ground, neither is it a period of learning, marriage is a time you exhibit the qualities you carry either as a man or woman; a period when all that is hidden within you becomes illuminated for others to see. What you learn before marriage and the character you build is what determines if your marriage will stand or not. Never make the mistake of assuming that the person with a bad attitude will change after marriage. No one

changes except the person determines to. I therefore advice men on two things: 1. Don’t choose to marry your woman, let her choose to marry you. Women know what they want, just as men also do and when it comes to the issue of marriage, women are the ones to choose. Why? If a woman chooses to marry you, she will stick to you to the very end. 2. Never beg a woman to marry you. If you beg a woman to marry you, you will have to beg her to be faithful to you. Same goes for men too. So let us take note of these. As ladies, your focus should be on that wish John wrote to the lady saying: “ the elect lady and her children, whom I love in truth, and not only I, but also all those who have known the truth, because of the truth which abides in us and will be with us forever: Grace, mercy, and peace will be with you from God the Father and from the Lord Jesus Christ, the Son of the Father, in truth and love. I rejoiced greatly that I have found some of your children walking in truth, as we received commandment from the Father. And now I plead with you, lady, not as though I wrote a new commandment to you, but that which we have had from the beginning: that we love one another. This is

love that we walk according to His commandments. This is the commandment, that as you have heard from the beginning, you should walk in it. For many deceivers have gone out into the world who do not confess Jesus Christ as coming in the flesh. This is a deceiver and an antichrist. Look to yourselves, that we do not lose those things we worked for, but that we may receive a full reward. Whoever transgresses and does not abide in the doctrine of Christ does not have God. He who abides in the doctrine of Christ has both the Father and the Son. If anyone comes to you and does not bring this doctrine, do not receive him into your house nor greet him; for he who greets him shares in his evil deeds.” The Woman. A woman is not a girl or a lady; she has been known by a man. There is a difference between a married woman and an unmarried one. Paul says that the “unmarried woman is one who is known to be more caring about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world-how she may please her husband.” The desire of every married woman should be towards her husband, not an unmarried man. Some people do not understand the difference between a

man and being a husband. A man, who does not know not how to be a man, knows nothing about what it is to be a husband; and if you can not be a husband, you cannot be a father. Daniel Webster says that “man is a special being, and if left to himself, in an isolated condition, would be one of the weakest creatures; but associated with his kind, he works wonders.” With his kind is where the role of the woman comes to play, one he takes and respects not only as a wife, but also as a leader in the home and in the making of future generation, then he puts into practice Agatha Christie’s saying, that “an archaeologist is the best husband any woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.” The archaeologist here is not a profession but the attitude of the said husband towards the wife. As men and women, there are certain things we need to understand that pertain to our personal growth. You have to discover what is good for you and you can only do that by relying on God alone. “So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.” We must know that the woman is made to help us fulfill our Godgiven purpose here on earth and not to serve us. They are not our servants, they are our helpers.


This statement can be well illustrated with the story of Martha and Mary: “but Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to Him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? Bid her therefore that she helps me. And Jesus answered and said unto her, Martha, Martha, thou art careful and troubled about many things: But one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her.” So therefore the duty of a woman in the house is not to serve but to help, and if we read further, we will see how this same Mary fulfilled her help ministry in the life of our Lord Jesus Christ. The Bible makes us understand that “Mary took a pound of ointment of spikenard, very costly, and anointed the feet of Jesus, and wiped His feet with her hair: and the house was filled with the odor of the ointment.” Why the feet? Why not the head? Well, the feet are the most unclean part of the human body, and in the days of Christ, there were no shoes and people had to walk around barefooted. Mary pouring such an expensive oil on Jesus’ feet is symbolic, as it signifies how His feet were the most unattractive part of His body. Because of this single act of help, Jesus said “she hath done what she could: she is come aforehand to anoint My body to the burying. Verily I say unto you, wheresoever this gospel shall be preached


throughout the whole world, this also that she hath done shall be spoken for a memorial of her.” The Mother. The role of a mother is the most crucial and the most demanding moment in the life of every feminist. This is the moment when totally innocent person is willing to take after you, and if you are not careful, you can make or mar such a person‘s destiny. Tennyson said that “the bearing and the training of a child are woman's wisdom.” Many times, I have seen my mother going the extra mile to make sure we become successful in life. The wisdom mothers exhibit in bringing up their children and keeping their home together is so wonderful that I wonder how they cope with that while still inspiring their children to do likewise. Many people read the book of proverbs but few pay attention to what it says. In Proverbs, the Bible refers to wisdom as a woman and towards the end of it, Lemuel’s mother was mentioned giving a word of wisdom to her son. Reading the account of her counsel to her son, we will see that the only thing that was paramount to her was the success of her son as a king. First she warned her son to be most careful of strange women, saying: “What, my son? ...Give not thy strength unto women, nor thy ways to that which

destroyed kings. It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine; nor for princes strong drink: Lest they drink, and forget the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted. Give strong drink unto him that is ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy hearts. Let him drink, and forget his poverty, and remember his misery no more. Open thy mouth for the dumb in the cause of all such as are appointed to destruction.” And secondly she counsels him on a woman: “Who can find a virtuous woman? For her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. She seeks wool, and flax, and works willingly with her hands. She is like the merchants’ ships; she brings her food from afar. She rises also while it is yet night, and gives meat to her household and a portion to her maidens. She considers a field, and buys it: with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard. She girds her loins with strength, and strengthens her arms. She perceives that her merchandise is good: her candle goes not go out by night. She lays her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff. She stretches out her hand to the poor; yea, she reaches forth her hands to the needy. She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with

scarlet. She makes herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple. Her husband is known in the gates, when he sited among the elders of the land. She makes fine linen, and sells it; and delivers girdles unto the merchant. Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. She looks well to the ways of her household, and eats not the bread of idleness. Her children rise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her. Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excel them all. Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that fears the LORD, she shall be praised. Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.” The Grandmother. Just as I said earlier, the role of a grandmother is more of a title; it is the joy one gets from being a mother. This also goes for grandfathers. However, there are some grandmothers who are transgenerational; a worthy example of such is Lois. Lois is a grandmother who does not only bring her daughter up in the way of the Lord, but also her grandson Timothy, whom Paul wrote saying he greatly desiring to see him, being mindful of his tears, “that I may be filled with joy, when I call to

remembrance the genuine faith that is in you, which dwelt first in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am persuaded is in you also. Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands. For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” Who is a woman? A woman is the image of man made of man. I believe a lot of people will not accept this truth, but the truth is; if you really want to know who a man is, check his wife. It is written in Genesis that God took man’s ribs and formed the woman. I want you to know that God has deposited some things in the woman, which are important for us men to access or we might not attain our destinies. Dreams Vs Vision Dreams and visions were designed by God for one purpose: to bring about His fulfillment on earth and to take man to his original place of purpose in Him. According to Encyclopedia Britannica, “dream is a hallucinatory experience that occurs during sleep.” Dreaming, a common and distinctive phenomenon of sleep, has, since the dawn of human history, given rise to myriad beliefs, fears, and conjectures, both imaginative and experimental, regarding its

mysterious nature. While any effort towards classification may be subject to inadequacies, beliefs about dreams fall into various categories depending upon whether dreams are held to be reflections of reality, sources of divination, curative experiences, or evidence of unconscious activity. Vision, on the other hand, is the physiological process of distinguishing, usually by means of an organ such as the eye, the shapes and colours of objects. Vision has a lot to do with sense; and sense can also be called sensory reception or sense perception; the mechanism or faculty by which an organism is able to react to changes in its external or internal environment, in particular through the activation of specific parts, which transform the energy change involved into vital processes. In all higher animals this involves transduction—conversion of internal or external stimuli into nerve impulses that travel to specialized areas of the brain, where they are analyzed. The higher organism is thus enabled to react appropriately. Charles William Dement says that “dreaming permits every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives”. H. F. Hedge then said that “dreaming is an act of pure imagination, attesting in all men a creative power, which, if it were available in

waking, would make every man a Dante or Shakespeare.” When God gives dreams to men, He did so in other to create in man a sense of security and hope for the future. What will take man to his future is not the dream itself, but the vision, the passion and the determination the dream will birth in him. When God showed Joseph the dream about his future, his original purpose for living, Joseph did not just sit back and expect the dream to come to pass, he worked towards it and his willingness to pay the price for the actualization of his dream, made him one of the early patriarchs in the scripture. Ecclesiastes says that “a dream cometh through the multitude of business; and a fool’s voice is known by a multitude of words.” Vision is often misconstrued for dreams; vision is something that takes hold of your being; something that energizes you to do more than you ever imagined you could do; something that propels us to aspire for more. Edward H. Harriman said that “it is not safe to look into the future with eyes of fear.” Woodrow Wilson backed him up by saying that any man who does not see visions, will not realize any high hope or undertake any high enterprise.” With these at the back of your mind, let us then examine what vision is in its’ original context. Roger

A. Enrico, Chairman and Chief executive officer of PepsiCo. Inc was quoting Leonardo da Vinci saying “He mastered the sweet things of life, like the Mona Lisa, and the not-so-sweet, like war machines. Artist, engineer, scientist, and mathematician- in doing all these, he excelled.” Leonardo da Vinci is a polymathic renaissance painter, sculptor, engineer, musician, and scientist at the same time; its’ all about vision. When you have a vision for your life, it becomes something that propels you to work; first on yourself and then on what you believe you can achieve in life. Women don’t want to stay with dreamers; they want a visionary, someone who is the prophet of his future; a creative thinker, an extraordinary thinker, someone who is futuristic, foresighted; someone imaginative, innovative and creative. Napoleon Bonaparte once said “I feel myself driven toward an end that I do not know. As soon as I shall have reached it, as soon as I shall become unnecessary, an atom will suffice to shatter me. Till then, not all the forces of mankind can do anything against me.” This is the passion of a man of vision; a man that believes in himself and is visionary. Vision will always keep you thinking, keep you awake to yourself, and keep you standing on your feet. Nebuchadnezzar said in the book of Daniel


that “the thoughts upon my bed and the visions of my head troubled me.” In Christendom, we have visions and revelations of God in trances and dreams. In the days of Adam, it was a deep sleep; but in our day, it is spiritual sleep. Brothers stop having dreams, have visions. God speaks by visions, not dreams. “And the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam.” He did not show him any dream and I am sure he did not know that God even took part of his ribs to make the woman. He awoke from the sleep and saw the woman, and immediately knew who she was. God didn’t tell him, he knew because he had the ability to know things. Every dream of your life will only come true when you are awake to yourself. Man & Woman What we have to tell each other! The fellowship between a man and woman is divine and must be divinely practiced. “Then the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man, He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.” Any relationship that is not divinely defined is on a shaky foundation, and if such relationship ends up in marriage, it will mar the couple instead of making them; as companions for life and co-divine workers

relying ultimately on God. We should ponder this well. My newly found friend, mentor, father and Pastor, Sam Adeyemi says in his book ‘Sex; Straight Talk’ that a broken courtship is better than a broken destiny. Think about that! Your wife or your husband must be one that carries your gene. “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man." I once told a friend that marriage is originated to better your person and not to make you bitter. It is to complement your person and not to make you complain. If your partner doesn’t have something in common with you; something that will complement you where you are deficient, then that person is not meant for you. Do you know why? Because where God took the rib from, is still much empty and the only thing that can fill that space is the original product that is made with it. It doesn’t matter how many years it takes for you to locate the person, just make sure you find her. Recently, I met a very good friend, Abike, whom I vowed not to trade for anything; She had been through so many things I never imagined a lady of her age could experience but still remains so strong. That I appreciate, but I concern myself with her destiny in God and what God had deposited in her for the

benefit of so many lives and destinies across the globe. My newly friend I love so much to the point that I forget about my problems whenever we are together. But I do not preoccupy my mind with what I want to get from her, but what I want to add to her in terms of values, visions and the will to move on in life. And to her I dedicate this book. The woman marries the man, “therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” For so long there has been a serious misconception in who marries who, between the man and the woman. Well I am here to inform you that the woman marries man; not the other way around. Jesus said “a new commandment I give unto you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this shall all men know that you are my disciples, if you have love one to another.” Paul then completes the statement thus: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave Himself for it; that He might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that He might present it to Himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loves his wife love himself. For no man ever yet hated his own

flesh; but nourish and cherish it, even as the Lord the church: for we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery…nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” The reason God designed it in such a way is because man was originally made in the image of God. Everything about God is in him and above all, God has given him power to dominate over everything He made; over creatures not over men like himself. So in other not for man to exercise this act of dominion over his wife, but rather to submit themselves one to another, God made the man to go for the woman and not the woman for the man so that the woman also may be able to exercise her domineering power over her environment; and this is why the Bible says “one shall chase a thousand and two shall chase ten thousand to flight.” Chasing ten thousand to flight will only be made possible when there is power of agreement between the man and the wife. Now out of the finished product, the man, God created the woman. The tendency for rulership and a domineering spirit is well exhibited in the man; from

the ribs God takes from man is the creature of help, caring, reproductive, wise; a helpmate. And the Lord knows that man is incomplete without all these things and since all these are the vital keys to life, man will have to detach himself from his biological curds and get attached to his wife who will make him complete in the areas where he is deficient. And the only things that can make all these work is by loving his wife, being submissive to her, as she is subjected to submitting to him, and never get detached from her. In Ephesians; Paul said: “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” Husbands and wives must be naked to one another; in all things never ashamed of one another, either in words or in acts. “And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.” The word naked here is not nudity. It is the act of being plain and truthful to one another; presenting all things in their true context. James Russell Lowell said that “the greatest homage we can pay to truth is to use it.” How true! A lot of people have ruined their lives and

marriages because they found it difficult to say the truth. Robert Greene said in his book “The 48 Laws of Power” that “one sincere and honest move will cover dozens of dishonest ones”. Openhearted gestures of honesty and generosity bring down the guard of even the most suspicious people. You should not expect truthfulness when you are not truthful. You have to learn to give before you can receive. Truth based on honesty will soften the ground, take the bite out of a future request, or simply create a distraction. Truthfulness is the backbone of any relationship and keeps marriage firm. Be open! Recently there was a little disagreement between myself and Abike. From the beginning of our friendship, I really did not disclose my intention of being more than a friend to her, but in no time she get to know my intentions and one day said to me “I don’t think I can trust you any more”. The statement hurt me; I felt disappointed. Many things breed trust, and as men, we must learn to keep the path of truth clean and clear all the time. Decency demands abstinence from sex. “It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the

affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive each other except with consent for a time that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.” The woman is the glory of man. “Man is not from woman, but woman from man. Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man. Nevertheless, neither is man independent of woman, nor woman independent of man, in the Lord. For as woman came from man, even so man also comes through woman; but all things are from God.” “Let a woman learn in silence with all submission. And I do not permit a woman to teach or to have authority over a man, but to be in silence. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression. Nevertheless she will be saved in childbearing if they continue in faith, love, and holiness, with self-control.”


The first time the word ‘woman’ occurs in the Bible, it says “then the rib, which the LORD God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman, because she was taken out of man.” The last time it was mentioned, the Bible says that “for God has put it into their hearts to fulfill His purpose, to be of one mind, and to give their kingdom to the beast, until the words of God are fulfilled. And the woman whom you saw is that great city which reigns over the kings of the earth.” Now do not get me wrong. I am not saying women are beasts, what I am trying to say is that the woman has power to rule over the man because the woman referred to in the Bible rules over seven kingdoms and seven kings. It is made clear in this verse of scripture that this woman reigns over men because only men are called kings. These men had lost the authority placed on them as men; having given their strength to the woman. Now this woman is not the wife of their youth, she is the one the book of Proverbs refers to as the “strange woman”. “For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life. Whosoever touches her

shall not be innocent. Whoso committed adultery with a woman lacked understanding: he that doeth it destroyed his own soul. A wound and dishonor shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away.” Men who like to do this will surely lose their personality to such woman, and instead of manifesting their God-given ability -ruling over their environment, their environment will end up ruling over them. No matter how powerful a woman is, without the support of a man, she can not utilize the power to the very best. Power is given to the woman to support her husband and not to use against him; women need to be courageous to take their stand to support their man. Men also should not delude their wives but help her, and have one another as partners in building a successful family. WOMEN’S ROLE IN HOME, HOUSE AND NATION BUILDING Women are delicate people and they need to be respected. Let’s talk about women who take their positions in the family and society seriously. The first woman I will like to talk about is my mother. In all things I love and respect my mother. She fought until I became a success.


As a very young child; of all the six children she had, I was the only person she would assign to trading activities, and I tell you I sold all kinds of things; from cooking rice to plantain, local custard, melon, plastics, books and countless other things. When I was doing all these, I thought my mother hated me because I was her only son, I never knew she was preparing me for the future. By the time I was sixteen years of age, the need to fend for myself, after my mother had stopped paying for my education, arose. Then I would travel from Abeokuta to Lagos every weekend to work as a house help for an Indian man called Pishu Mangland. My monthly salary I used to paid for my school fees, a room apartment I rented, and began life as an independent man. Lately, I have come to realize that if not for the drastic measures my mother took, I would not have been able to stand out among my peers. History has it today that I am the first person to have tertiary education in my family, all because of the things I learnt from my mother. When I left my mother at the age of sixteen, quite a number of people believed I wouldn’t survive. My mother would buy me foodstuffs, but I always refused them. Not because I had all I needed but because I knew if I could not get used to the difficult paths of life; I might not be able to survive in days to come, which meant that I would have to

depend on people to survive. I really thank God for that because when things get to a point that I can seemingly no longer bear, I have learnt from past experiences that the grace of God will sustain me. The grace and the ability to carry myself in honor, dignity and self-respect for my person and the people around me were the things that kept me through my tough period. Over the years I’ve seen my mother display a positive attitude towards creating an atmosphere of peace and honor for herself and us, as her children and future. She was always on her own, working hard for the survival of her children. She worked as a civil servant under the Ministry of Education in Ogun State, Nigeria from 1990 t0 1995, and as a farmer, from 1980 to 1988, due to hardship and for the sake of survival. During that time, she cut a remarkable reputation for herself as a successful farmer, whom male farmers looked up to. What was the reason for my mother’s venturing into farming? First, she knew that the monthly salary could not sustain her family, and so she had to come up with another means of income. At that time, two of my sisters were in the secondary school and the remaining four of us, in primary school. Whenever harvest didn’t yield properly, my mother will put us all

on daily fasting. Everyday, we went to school without food or money to buy any; some other times skipping breakfast for lunch or lunch for dinner. Sometimes, she would sell her clothes or use them as collateral to borrow money to feed us. It has never stopped amazing me where my mother got her strength from. She never got tired! Never complained, always wanting more for her children; most importantly, her only son. During those terrible times, she never messed up herself or sought for money from any man. I respect her immensely and today, I refer to her as my first wife. I love and care for her and she knows it. Ironically however, my mother and I hardly agree on anything. You see, My mother is a kind of woman that loves to be there for you all the time while I love to do things for myself, no matter how hard the situation might be. Therefore, we tend to have different approaches to solving the same problem. My mother has always occupied the number one slot in my heart, but when I marry, she becomes number two, and the more children I have, the more her positions drop. This is hardly wickedness; it is a principle I will share more about as we proceed. MOTHERS

The role of the mother in the house and home building transcends cooking and looking good, it also involves giving and achieving the best for the family. In Hebrew, the duty of a mother is very meaningful and this is evident in the higher estimation of the mother in the Jewish family. The king's mother, as appears in the case of Bathsheba, was treated with special honor. Mothers protect the destiny of their children, either directly or indirectly and safeguard the future of so many generations. Mothers are generational thinkers. Examples of such women are mothers who give birth to people like: • Moses: “And there went a man –Amram- of the house of Levi, and took to wife –Jochebed- a daughter of Levi. And the woman conceived and bare a son: and when she saw him that he was a goodly child, she hid him three months. And when she could not longer hide him, she took for him an ark of bulrushes, and daubed it with slime and with pitch, and put the child therein; and she laid it in the flags by the river’s brink. And his sister stood afar off, to wit what would be done to him….Then said his sister to Pharaoh’s daughter, Shall I go and call to thee a nurse of the Hebrew women, that she may nurse the child for thee? And Pharaoh’s daughter said to her, Go. And the maid went and called the child’s mother. And Pharaoh’s daughter

said unto her, take this child away, and nurse it for me, and I will give you your wages. And the woman took the child, and nursed it. And the child grew…” • Samuel: “And they rose up in the morning early, and worshipped before the LORD, and returned, and came to their house to Ramah: and Elkanah knew Hannah his wife; and the LORD remembered her. Wherefore it came to pass, when the time was come about after Hannah had conceived, that she bare a son, and called his name Samuel, saying, because I have asked him of the LORD. And the man Elkanah, and his entire house, went up to offer unto the LORD the yearly sacrifice, and his vow. But Hannah went not up; for she said unto her husband, I will not go up until the child be weaned, and then I will bring him, that he may appear before the LORD, and there abide for ever. And Elkanah her husband said unto her, do what seem thee good; tarry until thou have weaned him; only the LORD establish His word. So the woman abode, and gave her son suck until she weaned him. And when she had weaned him, she took him up with her, with three bullocks, and one ephah of flour, and a bottle of wine, and brought him unto the house of the LORD in Shiloh: and the child was young. And they slew a bullock, and brought the child to Eli. And she said, oh my lord, as your soul

lives, my lord, I am the woman that stood by you here, praying unto the LORD. For this child I prayed; and the LORD has given me my petition which I asked of him: Therefore also I have lent him to the LORD; as long as he lives he shall be lent to the LORD. And he worshipped the LORD there.” • John the Baptist: “There was in the days of Herod, the king of Judaea, a certain priest named Zacharias, of the course of Abijah: and his wife was of the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elisabeth. And they were both righteous before God, walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless. And they had no child, because that Elisabeth was barren, and they both were now well stricken in years. And it came to pass, that while he executed the priest’s office before God in the order of his course, According to the custom of the priest’s office, his lot was to burn incense when he went into the temple of the Lord. And the whole multitudes of the people were praying without at the time of incense. And there appeared unto him an angel of the Lord standing on the right side of the altar of incense. And when Zacharias saw him, he was troubled, and fear fell upon him. But the angel said unto him, Fear not, Zacharias: for your prayer is heard; and your wife Elisabeth shall bear you a son, and you shall call

his name John. And you shall have joy and gladness; and many shall rejoice at his birth. For he shall be great in the sight of the Lord, and shall drink neither wine nor strong drink; and he shall be filled with the Holy Ghost, even from his mother’s womb. And many of the children of Israel shall he turn to the Lord their God. And he shall go before him in the spirit and power of Elias, to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the disobedient to the wisdom of the just; to make ready a people prepared for the Lord….Now Elisabeth’s full time came that she should be delivered; and she brought forth a son. And her neighbors and her cousins heard how the Lord had showed great mercy upon her; and they rejoiced with her. And it came to pass, that on the eighth day they came to circumcise the child; and they called him Zacharias, after the name of his father. And his mother answered and said, Not so; but he shall be called John…” • Jesus: “And in the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God unto a city of Galilee, named Nazareth, to a virgin espoused to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David; and the virgin’s name was Mary. And the angel came in unto her, and said, Hail, thou that art highly favoured, the Lord is with thee: blessed art thou

among women. And when she saw him, she was troubled at his saying, and cast in her mind what manner of salutation this should be. And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for you have found favour with God. And, behold, you shall conceive in your womb, and bring forth a Son, and shall call His name JESUS. He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto Him the throne of His father David: And He shall reign over the house of Jacob forever; and of His kingdom there shall be no end. Then said Mary unto the angel, how shall this be, seeing I know not a man? And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon you, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow you: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of you shall be called the Son of God. And, behold, your cousin Elisabeth, she hath also conceived a son in her old age: and this is the sixth month with her, who was called barren. For with God nothing shall be impossible. And Mary said, Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to your word. And the angel departed from her….And He went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject unto them: but His mother kept all these sayings in her heart. And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favour with God and man.”

Mothers keep the things that bring about the birth of their children with them. Every mother knows each of her children to the point of knowing what they could become in the future. Sometimes, this influences the way mothers relate to their children; always wanting and holding them close, but children often misinterpret these actions. Three things the Lord laid emphasis on the scripture: 1. Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you. 2. Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, that your days may be long, and that it may be well with you in the land which the LORD your God is giving you. 3. The Proverbs of Solomon: A wise son makes a glad father, but a foolish son is the grief of his mother. Miller said: “The bravest battle that ever was fought; shall I tell you where and when? On the maps of the world you will find it not; the mothers of men fought I” and Abraham Lincoln was again quoted that “no man is poor who has had a Godly mother.” Emerson made it more colorful by saying “men are what their mothers made them.” Herbert then completed it saying “one good mother is worth a hundred schoolmasters.”

There is no other role that is as important as the role of a mother. Not even the role of a grandmother. Grandma as they are called had had their own part in life as a mother. Being a grandmother is a title; an honor of once being the mother to a child, who now has his or her own child. Mothers pay the most prominent role in the lives of their children.


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