JOE (DOC) by liuhongmei


									JOE                                                  ANONYMOUS 1

CHRIS                                                ANONYMOUS 2

RELIGIOUS PROFESSIONAL                               ANONYMOUS 3


*NOTE: This skit can be done with as few as (4) performers if CHRIS, RELIGIOUS

PROFESSIONAL, and POSITIVE THINKING GURU can possibly double as the three

ANONYMOUS group members.

PROPS: monster mask, full-length mirror, table with telephone, briefcase, phone book on

top, bandage, (4) large brown bags, balloon with a smiley face on both sides

                                 SIN IS A MONSTER

 (Opening Scene: JOE is getting ready for work. He is wearing a gruesome mask, but is

otherwise professionally dressed. While seated, he bends over and ties a shoe, straightens

up and fixes his tie, then he grabs his briefcase and walks over near the door. JOE briefly

  turns his back to the audience to check his appearance in a full-length mirror standing

                            against the wall, next to the door.)

JOE: (to himself) Whoa! This is just getting way out of control. I definitely need some

professional help!

(CHRIS KNOCKS at the door)

JOE: (opening the door) Hey, Chris.

(CHRIS ENTERS as soon as the door opens, looking very concerned)

CHRIS: Joe! You don’t look so good this morning. What happened?
JOE: I don’t know, Chris. I just kept getting worse every day until this morning I just

checked myself in the mirror, and I don’t even recognize myself! Tell the guys in the

carpool to go on to work without me today. Whatever disease or disorder I have, it’s very

clear that I need professional help.

CHRIS: Well, Joe, as you know I’m no healthcare professional, but I know what you’ve

got because I just went through the same thing myself.

JOE: Oh yeah? What did you have?

CHRIS: A case of sinitus.

JOE: Did you need professional help?

CHRIS: Not at all. I just came to the point where sin was ruining my life. I was becoming

a monster at home, at work, and everywhere I went. My condition got pretty ugly.

JOE: That sounds just like me! Go on, Chris.

CHRIS: Like I said, it was a case of sinitus. But I got instantly cured the moment I turned

my life over to Jesus Christ.

JOE: I don’t know, Chris; that sounds too simple to me. I think I need professional help.

Thanks anyway.

CHRIS: Well, it’s your choice, Joe. But mark my words – you’ve got a bad case of

sinitus. And the ONLY cure for sinitus is salvation through Jesus. I’d better be going, Joe

. . . don’t want to hold up the carpool. Keep in touch, okay?

JOE: Okay, Chris.

JOE: Yeah, that just sounds too simple. My condition must be more complicated than that

(picks up the phone book and opens it). Now let’s see here . . . religion, religious

professionals . . . here we go.

(JOE picks up the phone and dials it)

JOE: Hello. My name is Joe. I have a case of sinitus. Do you have a professionally

religious cure for sinitus? Good! You’ll be right over? Excellent! See you shortly.



RELIGIOUS PROFESSIONAL: Hello, Joe. I’m your friendly religious professional with

the cure for sinitus.

JOE: Will it hurt?

RELIGIOUS PROFESSIONAL: You won’t feel a thing! Here you go . . .

(RELIGIOUS PROFESSIONAL pulls out a bandage and applies it to the mask)

JOE: That’s it? A bandage?

RELIGIOUS PROFESSIONAL: Not just any bandage, but a religiously blessed bandage!

Now you’ve been religiously healed. Bye!

(RELIGIOUS PROFESSIONAL makes a religious gesture and EXITS through the door)

JOE: (briefly looking at himself in the mirror) It’s true that I didn’t feel anything . . . but I

don’t see much of a difference either. I know! I’ll try one of those professional

anonymous groups.

(JOE flips through a couple of phone book pages and dials the phone)

JOE: Hello, Anonymously Anonymous? I have a sinitus disorder. Do you have a self-

help group in my area? Great!

ENTERS with brown bags over their heads. All bags should be precut with eye and

mouth holes.)

ANONYMOUS 1: Hello, Joe. We’re from Anonymously Anonymous. You can be

anonymous too, just like us.

JOE: But how will being anonymous help my condition?

ANONYMOUS 2: You’ll see.

(ANONYMOUS 2 pulls a brown bag over JOE’S head. JOE briefly looks at himself in

the mirror.)

ANONYMOUS 3: Now no one will ever be able to see your true condition. No one will

even know who you are.

(ANONYMOUS GROUP EXITS through the door)

JOE: (to himself) But I know my true condition – I still have sinitus. I have not been

cured! I know; I’ll try some professional self-improvement.

(JOE flips through a couple of phone book pages and dials the phone)

JOE: Hello. Is this the Self-Improvement Through Positive Thinking Clinic? Why do you

have such a long name for your business? I see . . . because it makes you sound more

important. Anyway, I can really use some self-improvement through positive thinking to

cure my sinitus. Okay . . . bye-bye.


GURU ENTERS with a smiley balloon.)

POSITIVE THINKING GURU: Friend, what you need is a new self-image. You are truly

a wonderful human being. Do you believe that?
JOE: I . . . I guess.

POSITIVE THINKING GURU: (handing balloon to JOE, who takes it) Here. Take this

smiley balloon. And anytime you forget how special you truly are, just look at the smiley

balloon and remind yourself. You are wonderful! You’re great! You’re a terrific human

being! Bye!

(POSITIVE THINKING GURU EXITS through the door, leaving the door open. JOE

briefly looks at himself holding the smiley balloon with a bag over his head.)

JOE: (looking at the smiley balloon) This is kind of silly.

(CHRIS ENTERS through the open door)

CHRIS: Hey, Joe; how is all that professional help working out for you?

JOE: Uh, not too well, Chris. I guess my sinitus condition must be worse than I thought.

Nothing has worked so far.

CHRIS: Jesus paid the price for ALL of your sins. No matter what you have done, God is

well able to forgive you and change your life through the power of salvation. Let’s pray.

JOE: (pauses to think about it) Okay.

(THEY bow their heads and pray. JOE tightly pulls the bag off his head, causing the

mask to come off as well. JOE puts the smiley balloon inside the bag.)

JOE: Wow, what a difference! Now that’s what I call professional help!

                                        THE END

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