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Nineveh Dispatch A Perspective from the land of Nineveh Assyria. A lesson tool for Lesson 39 Loving People you Dis-like. (The Prophet Jonah) June 15, 770 BC Don’t get sidetracked fig- uring out how the Assyr- ians know its 770 BC. Just play along… This paper is an attempt to Jonah Ignores the “Word of the Lord.” Draws Short Straw! Ends up on Foam Blubber Mattress! create an ancient newspa- per from Assyria using a little creative license while API-Assyrian Press International from the Lord that we found a way adhering to the core Bibli- to save the crew. The sailors had cal details of Jonah. It has been a repentant week in already lost all their goods and Nineveh since the recent visit of many on board had given up. The Special points of interest: Jonah from the land of Israel. prophet named Jonah instructed Sources indicate that he received ∗ Sackcloth and Ashes Stock the sailors to throw him overboard a message from the Lord that he Prices Skyrocket! and they would most likely be was to deliver to Nineveh, but ∗ Beach Vacation travel way saved. The sailors were extremely chose to go to Joppa and take a down nervous about throwing a prophet belly of a large fish before being boat to Tarshisis instead. One of of the Lord overboard because vomited onto the shore. The king of ∗ Fish Cologne sales picking the sailors on the boat reported what if the Lord punished them for Nineveh stated “We have no reason up.. that a storm came upon them of their actions? to doubt Jonah’s story. If you could Biblical proportions! “We offered ∗ Sacks fifth Avenue starts have smelled him when he arrived store chain! up sacrifices to our gods, and Jonah claims to have been swal- there was no doubt where he had tossed our livelihood overboard, lowed by a large fish that carried ∗ 40 day countdown begins. been!” In a show of solidarity the but nothing was working. We knew him back to the coast west of Nine- People repent! Story Continued on Page 2 we were going to die!” veh where he had to walk the re- Inside this issue: maining distance. Jonah spent It was only after a sleeping pas- three days and three nights in the senger admitted he was running Jonah Ignores Lord 1 Hook and Skewer Sales 1 People’s Repentance and Fasting Causes Hook and Skewer Sales to Plummet! 2 The recent repentant activity through- through a person’s mouth and lips fected torture to an art providing the Israel Not Happy with out the city including fasting has what am I supposed to do?” Another most pain possible before death!” Jonah caused hook and skewer production to soldier who specializes in impaling Jonah awaits Demise 2 Nineveh has been known as one of the be devastated! In an interview with an torture stated the the number of torture capitals of the known world, un-named soldier he stated that politically dead prisoners hanging on but as repentance has become so Assyrian Poll 3 “transporting conquered exiles is my poles out of the city has almost com- dominant there is no hooks and skew- livelihood! If I can’t run my hooks pletely been stopped! “I have per- ers being purchased. Nineveh Dispatch Page 2 Lead Story on Jonah continued. king has ordered an extreme fast in repentance will buy us some mercy! the city and has even declared that Reports from The king has taken no aggressive the livestock participate. All efforts those near the stance against Jonah from day one. It are being taken to show the God of is possible that the king fears divine prophet Jonah say Jonah that we mean business about reprisals if he attempts to rebuke the fasting. We want to live and we will that he has yet to prophet of God? Assyria could squash take any measures necessary to Israel like a bug, but it appears all are appear happy prove it. Reports from those near the participating in the extreme fast. prophet Jonah say that he has yet to about our efforts appear happy about our efforts to Reports from outside of Nineveh say to show our show our contriteness. It looks as that Jonah is camped out under a though Jonah wants Nineveh to suffer shade tree waiting for God’s wrath to Jonah preaching to the people of contriteness. Nineveh telling them “in 40 days destruction! Jonah has not once men- be poured out on Nineveh. tioned how we could be spared from Nineveh will be destroyed!” God’s wrath and we hope our show of Israel Not too Happy with Jonah. Jonah just not too happy. It is rumored that Jonah may lose given, but it doesn’t change the fact We are not called many friends and supporters due to that it resulted in repentance. God to understand his trip to Nineveh. He has crossed used all but a divine whip to get Jonah God’s reasoning, into enemy territory and preached a there, but the result is undisputable. message to the Assyrians which has but we are called A principle is learned from Jonah’s caused revival to break out in the land. to obey! On top of everything else, this is the actions that we should obey God be- cause God Is. We are not called to first time an Old Testament prophet Instead God used Jonah in spite of understand God’s reasoning, but we has carried the Gospel to a Gentile Jonah’s desire to be bitter and dis- are called to obey! Jonah missed the nation. There may not have been a call obedient. joy of being obedient to God’s call. for repentance from the message Jonah awaits Nineveh’s demise! Fears God will be Merciful. Jonah is reported to have been seen (described in Amos 4:2). The Assyr- again. “Hey there goes the prophet outside the city hoping for a fire- ians were brutal in every sense of who saved our enemy” would be the works show, but why? He was sent the word and struck fear into the cry! outside of his home country to hearts of all nations in the land. They Jonah was more concerned with a prophesy to the fiercest enemy of would ultimately destroy Samaria in shade tree than for the 120,000 his people! Chances are he was both 722 BC. Jonah’s biggest fear is that (possibly referring to the children angry, prejudiced, and petrified all at the people of Nineveh would repent and women), and only God knows once! These were the same Assyr- of their evil ways and not be de- how many more who would have ians who were brutal in their war stroyed. Jonah was furious! How perished. tactics taking people out of cities would he ever be able to face his with fish hooks chained together people in the Northern Kingdom Nineveh Dispatch Page 3 Assyrian Poll shows 100 Percent of the People Would Rather Repent than be turned into Ash Heap. A recent Assyrian Poll shows that the people of Nineveh would rather repent and beg for God’s mercy “Jonah never than be incinerated into a pile of ashes. From day one of the arrival gave us any hope of the prophet Jonah, his message of being spared” has struck fear in the hearts of the people of Nineveh. “Jonah never gave us any hope of being spared from his message of destruction, but we are just hoping our show of repentance will spare our city,” says one official. Does Obedience to God always bring the Result we want? In the 1990’s a beautiful and talented that has gone by the name of the and know that while we were still “obedience young lady attended a church with her husband still invokes bitter and angry sinners Christ died for us. If we truly husband. All looked perfect until one feelings for his selfish actions. believe that The Bible is God’s Word, doesn’t mean you day when the husband planned and then we must live this out. Could you love someone like this? Is always get to pick carried out the brutal murder of his there a clause or exception in the Maybe we feel that some people just adoring wife with the aid of his the final scripture that says we must love one need to get what they deserve just like brother. The church was in a state of another? (1 John 3:11-15) If God told Jonah, but obedience doesn’t mean outcome.” shock over how to react to this hei- you to go and share the Gospel with you always get to pick the final out- nous act. Both were members in the such a person how hard would it be? come. Each of us has the opportunity church, but all wanted to line up on the to serve the God of the universe! What side of the wife. Even with all the time Maybe we need to re-read Romans 5:8 more could anyone ask? Closing thoughts on Jonah One of the saddest parts of Jonah’s left his fish and chips.” (that was free) There are times we need to realize ministry is the fact that from what we that God’s big picture view isn’t al- When Jonah finally arrived in Nineveh read in Jonah he never got it. He had ways our concern. He desires our and gave them the message, his only every earthly right to be fearful and obedience because He is God! If your hope was that the message wouldn’t angry with the Assyrians, but he didn’t circumstances are the measure of take. Jonah’s book ends with a lecture work for an earthly person. When he your happiness then you will be disillu- to Jonah from God. was in the fish his heart appeared to sioned as a Christian. Each of us will be humbled, but he also believed he Jonah never appeared to enjoy being suffer through rough and unexplain- was about to die. When he did arrive obedient to God as his Lord and Crea- able times in our lives. Our content- at the shore he didn’t leave his chip in tor. It’s like the person who gets hung ment will only come from being in the the fish, he took his chip and left his up on the phrase, “Why would a loving center of God’s will, and by striving to fish. In other words “he should have God?” be obedient no matter what.
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