Girl, Naw! by LaCricia A'ngelle (excerpt)

Prologue A ntoinette quietly walked down the hall following the strange noise coming from the bedroom. Beads of sweat formed on her forehead, displaying her nervousness. She clutched her purse tightly preparing to use it as a weapon, if necessary. The closer she got to the door, the more intense the sounds became. Taking advantage of the small crack in the door, she peeped inside. Her lungs filled with air as she took a deep breath. Kicking the door open, she yelled “Derrick, I know you ain’t!” Jumping up from the bed, Derrick began pleading, “Ann, baby, I’m sorry. Wait a minute.” The woman in the bed quickly grabbed the covers to conceal her naked body. “And, Marie how could you!” Antoinette turned sharply and bolted out the door as she blinked back tears. Pressing hard on the gas pedal, she sped out of the driveway barely missing the mailbox. How could he do this to me? she cried. Her eyes burned with hot tears and her heart sank. “Just hurry up and get it over with,” Antoinette barked. She became more and more irritated with each passing minute. She was determined to show Derrick she could hurt him just as bad, as he had hurt her. She was determined to have the last laugh. “Ma’am, are you sure this is what you want?” “I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t,” she snapped. “I’m done with him. Now please do what I asked.” The timid young woman slid papers over to Antoinette for her to sign. Her signature would finalize her decision. 2 LaCricia A`ngelle Antoinette sat quietly on the park bench and allowed the tears to flow freely. Ashamed of what she had done, she pulled her coat tightly around her body, hoping to ward off the cold winter air. The wind blew sharply, creating a whistling sound as it cut through the air. Thoughts of Derrick’s betrayal commanded her attention. How could he do this to me, and with my best friend, of all people? I have been nothing but good to both of them. How could they hurt me like this? Pulling her cell phone from her pocket, she dialed her Aunt’s number with cold stiff fingers. “Hello,” Susan answered after a few short rings. “H-hey Auntie, i-it’s me.” Antoinette’s voice was shaky, and her breathing was labored. “Ann, baby, what’s wrong?” Susan asked as fear gripped her heart. “Are you hurt, where are you?” “I want to come home,” she whispered. “Ann please, you’re scaring me.” Susan could feel her hair standing up on the back of her neck. She trembled, not knowing what to expect next. “I said, I want to come home,” Antoinette sobbed. “I want to come home.” “Baby, you know you are always welcome here. Where is Terilyn?” “She’s with my friend, Kendall. I’m going to pick her up before I come.” “Okay, baby, you be careful. I’m gonna go fix up your room. I’ll be here waiting for you.” Several hours later Antoinette arrived at Susan and Raymond’s house with nothing but the clothes on her back. Two year old Terilyn relaxed in her mother’s arms. Susan met them at the door. “Come on in here with that baby. It’s thirty degrees out there.” Antoinette willingly surrendered the drowsy toddler and collapsed on the couch. Sitting back in the recliner, Susan gently rocked Terilyn as she snuggled closer to the bend of her arm. Girl, Naw! 3 “Thanks for letting us come, Auntie. I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have you and Uncle Raymond.” Fresh tears formed in Antoinette’s eyes as she spoke. Susan, sensing her distress, decided not to pursue Antoinette’s reason for coming home. With motherly tenderness she said, “Baby, this will always be your home. You are welcome here anytime. Now you go and get some rest. I‘ll take care of this little angel for you.” Antoinette rose from the couch and proceeded upstairs to her old bedroom. Pictures from her childhood lined the walls. Her full-size bed had been replaced with a queen. Decorative pillows created an elegant design at the head of the bed. A wooden desk sat in the corner with an antique typewriter on top of it. A chest of drawers and matching vanity set were nestled against the wall in front of the bed. Breathing deeply, Antoinette looked around bemused; she was right back where she had started. Her aunt’s voice played back in her mind like an old scratched record. Ann, God ain’t pleased with you going to shack up with that man. He don’t mean you no good, girl. Kneeling beside the bed, Antoinette clasped her hands together and prayed. “Lord, I know I have been out of your will, and I have done things that were not pleasing to you. God, please forgive me for all that I have done. I commit my life unto you. You brought me back here for a reason. This time I promise to do right by you. Father, I ask that you guide my steps. Thank you for another chance. I love you, Jesus. These things I pray in Jesus name, Amen.” After praying, Antoinette climbed into the bed and cried until sleep overtook her. Raymond’s robust laughter could be heard throughout the house. “Susan, baby you outdid yourself this time. I feel like a king with this delicious spread laid out before me. Is Ann up yet?” Raymond stood behind Susan and kissed her on the neck. “I’ve got to tell that girl she needs to come back home more often if it’s going to make you cook like this.” Susan popped Raymond on the head with a dry dish cloth. 4 LaCricia A`ngelle “Ray, you need to quit. I cook all the time.” Pulling a chair out from the table, Raymond sat down and poured himself a glass of orange juice. “You don’t cook like this. Shoot, on a good day I might get some bacon and eggs. You went all out this morning. You got bacon, eggs, pancakes, fresh fruit, grits, and hash browns. It even looks like you squeezed the oranges yourself for that juice. Naw, baby, you don’t cook like this everyday.” “Raymond, hush before you wake that girl up.” Susan warned. “She needs her rest. Just be glad you’re getting it now. Now eat.” “Come here, girl, trying to sound hard. You ain’t scaring nobody.” Raymond grabbed Susan around her waist and pulled her onto his lap. “Now give me some sugar.” Susan laughed hysterically as Raymond tickled her and planted kisses on her face and neck. “Y’all are too old for all that clowning around. People have to eat in this kitchen you know.” Antoinette pinched Raymond on the back of his neck as she walked past. Pulling out a chair, she sat Terilyn down at the table and fixed plates for the both of them. “I may be old, but I sho’ ain’t cold.” Raymond replied sarcastically. “Raymond!” Susan exclaimed as she jumped up from his lap. They all laughed at Susan’s fast reaction. “Ooh, Auntie, this is good,” exclaimed Antoinette as she poured more warm syrup on her pancakes. “Baby, you just go ahead and eat up. There’s plenty.” Antoinette finished the remnants of her meal and sloshed the cold orange juice in her mouth. Grabbing her napkin, she wiped Terilyn’s face and hands and gave her a soft kiss on her forehead. Terilyn grinned in approval. “Come on, baby girl. Let’s go so your mama and auntie can talk.” Raymond picked Terilyn up and put her on his shoulders. Terilyn giggled as she patted Raymond on the top of his head. Antoinette cleared the table and prepared dish water. “That baby knows she loves her uncle,” Susan said as she immersed the plates into the sink. Girl, Naw! 5 “She sure does. She always gets excited when she’s around Uncle Ray.” Antoinette and Susan continued to wash the dishes in silence. Realizing Susan was not going to ask her about what was going on with Derrick, Antoinette decided to break the silence and fill her in. “I know you’re wondering what happened with me and Derrick.” “I would be lying if I said that I wasn’t. I figured you would tell me when you got ready. Right now, I’m enjoying having you and Terilyn here. The other stuff isn’t important.” Antoinette dried off the last few dishes and placed them in the cabinet. Turning to the table, she pulled out two chairs and beckoned for Susan to sit down. “Auntie, I don’t want to hear I told you so because I already know that. Derrick betrayed me and hurt me real bad. I can’t do it anymore. I have given up so much for him and I’m tired.” “I understand how you feel, Ann. Baby, you are not the only one who has made a decision that they later regretted. All I want to know is what you plan on doing. You know you and the baby are welcome here for as long as you want to be.” “I appreciate it, I really do. I’m going to go back to school and complete my degree. I’m only a few credit hours short of receiving my Bachelor’s degree in counseling.” “That’s good, baby. I know you can do it. God has blessed you with a fresh start and a new beginning.” Susan stood up and embraced Antoinette. “Now it is up to you. God has forgiven you. Don’t worry about the past because it’s over, and your future is bright. As long as you keep your eyes on God, He will move in your behalf.” Chapter 1 ntoinette, baby it’s me. How long are you going to stay mad? I have left you message after message, but you won’t even bother to return my calls. I’ve apologized to you time and time again. I don’t know what more you want. I love you, girl. I never meant to hurt you. I was going through some deep stuff and I acted out of my head. Would you please just stop trippin’ and come back home so we can be a family again? I want to marry you, girl. That’s on everything I love. Call me, all right? I miss you and my baby. “Whatever!” Rolling her eyes, Antoinette pressed the button to delete Derrick’s message. It had been a month since she left him and she had no intentions of ever returning. He is so stupid; it should be obvious that I’m not coming back. “Beg all you want to, you idiot. I’m through with you,” she yelled as if Derrick could hear her. “Antoinette, are you calling me?” Susan bellowed from the bedroom across the hall from Antoinette’s. “No, Auntie, I didn’t call you. I was hollering because I stubbed my toe,” she lied. “Deg, girl, did you break your foot? Hollering like that, it’s got to be broke or something.” “I’m all right, Auntie. Go back to sleep.” Retrieving a small silver PDA from her purse, Antoinette made a note to have her cell phone number changed the following day. Pulling the sheets back on her bed she looked at the ceiling and whispered, “Lord, please forgive me for lying to my aunt like that. I didn’t want her to think I was crazy, Jesus.” She quietly snickered at her own quick wit. Antoinette turned over and glanced A Girl, Naw! 7 at Terilyn soundly sleeping in her toddler bed against the wall. Shaking her head, she smiled at Terilyn who had remained fast asleep throughout her tirade. The following morning Antoinette walked into the living room and found Susan reading her Bible. “Hey, Auntie, what you reading?” she inquired, taking a seat next to her. “I’m reading Ephesians the fourth chapter. Paul is talking about letting go of the ways we had before we were saved, and embracing a lifestyle that is pleasing to God. I love this chapter, especially when he writes about forgiveness.” “Oh, okay, don’t let me interrupt you.” Antoinette jumped up from the couch. She was not in the mood to hear another one of Susan’s sermons on forgiveness. Susan called her name, seeking her attention. “Girl, come back here, I almost forgot to tell you about this.” Fanning a brightly colored piece of paper in the air, she beckoned for Antoinette. “What’s that?” “We’re having a concert at church Friday night. Pastor said it’s something for the young folk, but the old folk will enjoy it too.” Susan placed her hand over her mouth to mask her laugh. “He promised to have something for everybody.” Antoinette grabbed the paper from Susan and scanned the names of the featured artists. “Ooh, I got some of their CDs. I will definitely be there.” Susan nodded her head in agreement. “Good, because I signed you up on the clean-up committee.” Rolling her eyes, Antoinette smirked. “I knew there was a catch. You know you wrong for that.” Susan picked up a small pillow off the couch and tossed it at Antoinette, hitting her on the shoulder. The two shared a laugh. The night of the concert Antoinette pressed through the crowd looking for an empty seat for her and Terilyn. Scanning the room she saw Susan sitting close to the front with an empty seat next to hers. 8 LaCricia A`ngelle “Thanks for saving us a seat, Auntie.” Antoinette pulled Terilyn’s jacket off and placed it on the back of the pew. Looking around the room she observed the diverse congregation made up of every age group from toddlers to senior adults. Leaning over to Susan, she whispered, “This is nice, I’m glad Pastor Smitherson decided to do this. Look how many people showed up.” “We did a lot of advertising for this event. We had it announced on television, radio, and we handed out flyers. We really wanted to make this night a success. You know, giving the young people an alternative to being out in the streets. Some of ‘em might even get saved tonight.” “You never know, Auntie. They just might.” The lights in the Sanctuary dimmed, as the spotlight lit up the pulpit. The podium and chairs had been removed, allowing the platform to be used as a stage. One after the other, gospel artists and groups performed a variety of songs. Marie couldn’t understand why Antoinette was ignoring her. They had been best friends since they were children. She hadn’t meant for things between her and Derrick to go so far but they had. Even if she wanted to change the past, she knew she couldn’t. Although Antoinette was still upset, Marie knew she would eventually come around. Marie pushed thoughts of permanently losing Antoinette’s friendship from her mind. This was the longest Antoinette had ever stayed mad at her. All of her previous attempts at reconciliation with Antoinette had been unsuccessful. Listening to the radio in her car as she was leaving the mall, Marie heard the announcement about the concert at Susan’s church. She decided the church was the perfect place for her to approach Antoinette. This could be her opportunity to finally talk things out. She knew Antoinette often attended church with her aunt and the concert would definitely be an event she would enjoy. Surveying the parking lot she soon spotted Antoinette’s car. “Yes, she’s here. I knew she would be.” Girl, Naw! 9 Marie pulled into an empty space and parked her car. Judging by the number of cars in the parking lot, she figured the church was packed. She felt awkward creeping into the church. She wasn’t exactly dressed for a church service. She wore a red and black halter dress that stopped mid-thigh. Her black stilettos had a satin ribbon that weaved around her slender legs. Unsure of how much longer the concert would last, she grabbed a black jacket from the back seat of her car, and quickly made her way into the church. She slipped into the back of the sanctuary, being careful not to be seen by Antoinette. The dim lights further enabled her to conceal her identity. Following the concert, featured artists and concert attendees departed to the church fellowship hall. Groups of people gathered around tables purchasing CDs and getting autographs from the performers. The crowd slowly diminished, leaving Antoinette and her friend, Kendall, alone at the church to clean up. Kendall held open a large trash bag allowing Antoinette to easily toss in crushed paper cups and used napkins. “Whew, this has been a long night. I’m glad we’re almost done. I’m tired.” “I know that’s right. I’m just glad Aunt Susan decided to take Terilyn home with her. If she was still here, I wouldn’t get anything done. You know how cranky she is when she’s sleepy.” “Girl, I know.” Kendall tied up the trash bag and placed it in the bin. “I found that out the hard way. One day when I was keeping her, we had spent several hours at the park. By the time we got in the car to head home, she starting crying and didn’t stop until she fell asleep. After that, I started giving her a nap before we left going anywhere that would take more than a couple of hours.” “Tell me about it.” Antoinette pushed the chairs up to the table and expelled a loud sigh of relief. “Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, we’re free at last.” “Girl, you crazy, let’s get out of here.” Marie had quietly stepped out of the church right before Pastor Smitherson offered the final prayer and dismissal. She watched 10 LaCricia A`ngelle Susan leave the church carrying a sleeping Terilyn in her arms. Since she didn’t see Antoinette come out with them she figured she had stayed behind to help clean up. She sat in the car waiting for the lights to go out in the fellowship hall. She was unsure how Antoinette was going to react to being approached by her, but she had come too close to give up. Marie knew this was possibly her last chance to make things right with Antoinette. The lights went out in the fellowship hall. Shortly thereafter two figures appeared at the door headed in the direction of the parking lot. Marie climbed out of the seat of her car, smoothed her skirt, and adjusted her purse on her shoulder. Antoinette spotted a woman walking across the dimly lit parking lot. The woman was far enough away to be unrecognizable, but close enough that she didn’t think she and Kendall were in any danger. “Girl, who is that?” Kendall inquired. “I ain’t in the mood for somebody to be out here trippin’ on us. I’ll have to use some of my taekwondo on them.” “Oh, Lord, if we have to depend on your martial arts skills we’re already in trouble. You know you didn’t take but one class, and even then you laid in the bed moaning for a week afterwards.” Kendall poked her mouth out, “I was sore,” she countered, causing them both to laugh. Marie noticed Kendall walking with Antoinette. I should have known she wouldn’t be by herself. There ain’t no telling what all she has told Kendall. What was I thinking, coming here unannounced? Marie turned on her heels preparing to retreat to her car before Antoinette realized who she was. Relaxing, Kendall smacked her lips. Waving her hand she declared, “That’s just Marie. Shoot, I was getting all geeked up for nothing.” Antoinette felt a knot form in the pit of her stomach. She couldn’t believe Marie would pull a bold move like this. Meeting her at the church uninvited was low for even Marie. Antoinette rolled her eyes. It seemed lately Marie held no boundaries. Kendall continued to yell and wave until Marie waved back Girl, Naw! 11 acknowledging her. Antoinette fumed. She had made every effort to avoid Marie. The girl apparently was not good at taking hints. It seemed all of the unanswered telephone calls, and lack of replies to the doorbell didn’t mean anything to her. Kendall hugged Marie. “Girl, how you been doing? I haven’t seen you in a while.” Returning her embrace, Marie gave a tight lipped smile. “I’ve been all right.” “Were you at the concert? I didn’t see you inside.” “Yeah, it was nice. I really enjoyed it.” Antoinette eyed Marie suspiciously. She could pretty much tell what she was up to.” Looking at her watch, Kendall joked, “Ann, since I can see that you are safe, I’m going to head on home. I know my family is missing me. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Glancing at Marie, she declared, “Don’t be a stranger.” “I won’t. I assure you.” Antoinette embraced Kendall. Once she saw her pull off the parking lot, she turned her attention to Marie. “You have a lot of nerve stepping to me like this, and at the church on top of that. Can’t you take a hint? I don’t want nothing to do with you.” Marie instantly became intimidated. Antoinette’s words cut like a freshly sharpened sword. “I-I t-thought maybe we could talk,” she stammered. “I never had a chance to tell you how sorry I was about what happened.” Antoinette folded her arms across her chest, resisting the urge to knock Marie to the pavement. “I don’t want to hear anything you have to say. You were supposed to be my friend. I never did you wrong. You could count on me no matter what. When everybody turned their back on you, I was there. When your own mother said she would see you dead before she would help you, I stood by you. I always gave you the benefit of the doubt, yet you treated me like I was your enemy.” Marie forced tears from her eyes. Antoinette brought up painful memories she had spent years trying to suppress. “I appreciate 12 LaCricia A`ngelle all that you have done for me, Ann. I never meant for things between me and Derrick to go down like that.” Marie tried to gauge Antoinette’s reaction. “H-he caught me when I was vulnerable. I was weak and he knew it. Ann, he took advantage of me.” “Do you think I’m some kind of fool or something?” Antoinette rolled her eyes. “Please, I have known you far too long to fall for that act.” Antoinette pointed her hand in Marie’s face, “Remember, I was the one that kept that woman from beating the brakes off you when you was messing with her man.” Marie put her hands on her hips. The whole begging thing was not working for her. She had taken enough of Antoinette’s insults, and she wasn’t about to stand idle and let Antoinette continue to bash her. Was it her fault that Derrick chose her over Antoinette? Maybe if Ann had given him the attention he deserved it wouldn’t have been as easy for her to get him in bed with her over and over again. All she did was make sure he was well aware that she was willing to do whatever he desired. Once Derrick had seen her in a sheer red teddy she no longer had to bother with innuendos. He knew as well as she did that she defined sexy. She resisted the urge to smile upon her reflections. The only reason she had even gone through the trouble of trying to apologize to Antoinette was because she knew how pitiful her friend was. Marie glared at Antoinette, assessing her appearance. Everything about her was plain, from her lack of makeup to the denim skirt she was wearing. She was never any real competition anyway. It’s a shame that Antoinette had to get hurt in the midst of it all, but that was life. It was time she put Antoinette in her place. “You know what, Antoinette,” she paused, standing up straight and wiping the stray tears from her eyes. “I came here tonight trying to get things straight between us. We have been friends a long time, much too long to let some no good dude come between us. At least, I thought we were friends. You have, however, proven me wrong. Standing here on the church grounds, you have done nothing but insult me and talk to me like I was a dog. I thought you were supposed to be so saved, going around here acting like Girl, Naw! 13 you’re all holy. You ain’t nothing but a hypocrite.” The anger that burned in Antoinette’s heart felt like a consuming fire. Being threatened by her own rage, she dropped her purse on the ground. Her lips formed a tight line. “I may be saved, but I’m yet to be delivered. You wanna act like you’re all big and bad, then I’m gone show you just how bad you are. I will drop you where you stand.” Antoinette’s cell phone rang loudly, pulling her attention from Marie. Marie quickly turned and walked towards her car, waving her hand in the air. “Forget all this,” she muttered. “I don’t have time for this.” Marie’s heart was racing. She had never seen Antoinette get that angry. There was no telling what would have happened if that cell phone had not rang. Once she was inside her car, she rapidly pulled out of the parking lot. Pulling her cell phone out of her purse she noticed she had several missed calls. The phone number was familiar. Marie took a deep breath before pressing the button to call the number back. “Hey, baby,” her voice was sensual. “I’m on my way. I had to stop by and take care of some business. Give me a few minutes, and I’ll be there.” She gave a wicked giggle, “I promise I’ll be worth the wait, Derrick.” Antoinette picked her purse up and retrieved her cell phone. She answered it on the fourth ring. “Hello.” Her voice was shaky and her breathing was labored. “Antoinette, are you all right?” Susan became concerned. “You sound strange. What’s going on?” “Auntie, I’m fine.” “I was getting worried about you since you hadn’t made it home yet.” “I got held up. Marie was waiting for me outside when I left the church.” Antoinette had told Susan about Derrick and Marie after she repeatedly asked her why she wasn’t taking Marie’s calls. “Lord, have mercy, I knew something wasn’t right. I could feel it. She didn’t try anything did she?” “Everything is all right, Auntie. I’ll be home soon.