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Professionalism Powered By Docstoc
					       DeAnne Heersche
     Education Consultant
The Service Center at ClearWater
Power of Positive Attitudes
 First Impressions
 Smiling Leads to Positive Thinking
 Smiling is Infectious
 Positive Atmosphere Leads to Increased
 Humor Reduces Stress
How to Connect in
90 Seconds or Less
 Appeal to Appropriate Emotions

 Point Your Heart at Their Heart

 Respect Personal Space
 Attitude is Key
How to Connect in
90 Seconds or Less
 Shake Hands (if appropriate) and
 have a Firm Handshake
 Find Common Ground
 Get Them Talking
 Pay Attention
 Dress for Success (Yes, it matters!)
Professional Behavior
 Be Positive
 Be Courteous
 Make Eye Contact
 Think Before You Speak, Then Think
  Again, Then Decide if Speaking Is the
  Best Idea
 Listen More Than You Speak
Professional Behavior
 Remember Confidentiality
 Talking About the Students Should Be
 Focused on Educational Issues
 Focus on the Students
 Every Decision Should Be Based on
 What Is Best for Students
Why Can People Be Difficult?
 Individuals behave in a difficult manner
 because they have learned that doing so keeps
 others off balance and incapable of effective
 action. Worst of all, they appear immune to all
 the usual methods of communication and
 persuasion designed to convince or help them
 change their ways.

Robert M. Bramson, Ph.D., author of coping With
 Difficult People.
Types of Difficult People
 Openly Aggressive People
   Stand up to them but don’t fight

 Snipers
   Respond to a Sniper with a question
Types of Difficult People
 Complainers
   Respond with optimism

 Silent People
   Ask them why they won’t respond
Types of Difficult People
  Make sure you are not the one being

  Don’t Give Up
    It all takes Practice
Who are these difficult people
and why are they attacking me?
 They may be behaving this way because
 they feel victimized (unfairness,
 mistreatment, misunderstandings)
 They may believe the world is bad and
 thus make concerted efforts to prove
 everyone else is unfair – including YOU
 May be insensitive to the feelings of
 It is NOT just YOU!!!!!!
Mental States
 Child – immature individuals of any age,
 dependent on others for rescue,
 assistance, and direction.
 Parent – willing to give advice, rescue
 the child, or provide direction (to child
 or school)
 Persecutor – finds fault with every
 solution as a method of retaining
 control over the situation
Appropriate Mental State

 Adult – a dispassionate analytic
 facilitator. Works with the parent and
 the child to find direction and
Interaction With Students
 Remember That They Are Kids – Even
 Those in High School
 Remember That You Are Not a Kid
 Always Try To Be Part of The Solution,
 Not The Problem
 Be Positive, Be Positive, Be Positive
 Think of Every Day As a Fresh Start
Discipline with Dignity
 Let students know what you need, and
 ask them what they need from you.
 Differentiate instruction based on each
 student’s strengths.
 Listen to what students are thinking and
Discipline with Dignity
 Use humor.
 Vary your style of presentation.
 Offer choices.
 Refuse to accept excuses, and stop
 making them yourself.
 Legitimize misbehavior that you cannot
Discipline with Dignity
 Use a variety of ways to communicate
 with children.
 Be responsible for yourself, allow
 children to take responsibility for
 Realize that you will not reach every
 child, but act as if you can.
 Start fresh every day.
Why Bother Controlling Our
1. We are only hurting ourselves
2. It’s not about You; it’s about Them
3. Battle of the Ego
4. Anger feeds Anger; Negativity feeds
Why Bother Controlling Our
5. It’s a waste of energy
6. Negativity spreads
7. Freedom of Speech

Angry/Negative People Bad for Your Brain
Emotional Intelligence
The Power of Now
Things to Avoid
 Correcting minor factual errors

 Interrupting unless to clarify – wait for a
 break in the conversation

 Changing subjects without notice or
Things to Avoid
 Focusing on things that cannot be
 changed (or are in the past)
 Complaining about your agenda
 Showing your own anger
 Starting to answer before the person is
Ten Management Options
1. Ignore the negative behavior
2. Give in
3. Separate yourself
4. Try to understand the other viewpoint
5. Sympathize
Ten Management Options
6. Make personal changes
7. Make system changes
8. Stay detached emotionally
9. Discussion/Mediation
10. Maintain personal dignity
How to Cope
 Don't take difficult people's behavior
 Don't fight back or try to beat them at
 their own games.
 Don't try to appease them.
 Don't try to change them.
Other Reactive Behaviors
 Maintain a pleasant, courteous
 demeanor and interaction style
 Acknowledge anger but do not reply in
 Show interest and concern
 Choose responses carefully. Avoid
 Other Reactive Behaviors
 Challenge within a comfort zone. Focus on
 the behavior and not the position the
 individual has taken.
 Recognize the resistance to change and
 indicate you understand the reasons for it.
 Lose the Battle – Win the War – Listen to all
 of the reasons for resistance. Ascertain
 whether there is any point of agreement.
 Be patient. Maintain dignity.
Dealing with Anger
 Remain in your adult mindset
 Breathe deeply and slowly
 Focus attention on the person
   Do not interrupt
   Demonstrate listening/understanding
 Acknowledge their anger 4-6 times
   They need to be heard, not lectured or
Dealing with Anger
 Lower your voice. Speak slowly and
  reduce the volume
 Don’t say “I understand how you feel.”
  Instead, say that you understand he/she
  is angry
 Get them to explain the concern
 Watch for escalation of anger
 Remember – you did not cause this
15 Tips for Dealing with
Difficult People
1. Forgive
2. Wait it Out
3. “Does it really matter if I am right?”
4. Don’t Respond
5. Stop Talking About It
15 Tips for Dealing with
Difficult People
6. Be in Their Shoes
7. Look for the Lessons
8. Choose to Eliminate Negative People in
  Your Life
9. Become the Observer
10. Go Exercise
15 Tips for Dealing with
Difficult People
11. Worst Case Scenario
12. Avoid Heated Discussions
13. Most Important
14. Pour Honey
15. Express It
Guidelines for Working with
 Listen to them
 Show you are listening by looking at
 Talk about the feeling, as well as the
 Don't assume you know the meaning of
 what they say - let them tell you.
Guidelines for Working with
 Don't judge or analyze them
 Ask about what they are doing, what
 they're interested in, or what they think
 about issues (without prying)
 Share your feelings with them
 Don't ask too many questions!
Two-Minute Intervention
 Two minutes a day

 Every day for two weeks

 Talk about anything but school
Improving Listening Skills
 Listen to the Message
 Focus on the Speaker
 Listen Beyond the Words
 Respond to the Speaker’s Message
 Look People in the Eye
 Become a Chameleon
 Point Your Heart at Their Heart
 Respect Personal Space
Importance of Listening
 Look at the Speaker

 Encourage the speaker to tell you more

 Show you are interested by your actions
Listening Activity
 Select a Partner
 Decide Which Will Speak First
 Select A Topic
 First Speaker Has Two Minutes
 Speaker Then Has A Chance To Critique
  The Listener
 Listener Becomes The Speaker
Possible Topics
• If I were in charge of TV, I would…

• The best present I ever received was…

• I’ll never forget the day I…
Useful Attitudes
 Warmth             Helping
 Enthusiasm         Engagement
 Confidence         Laid-Back
 Support            Patience
 Relaxation         Welcoming
 Obliging Words     Cheery
 Curiosity          Interest
 Resourcefulness    Courage
 Comfort
Useless Attitudes
 Anger          Suspicion
 Sarcasm        Vengefulness
 Impatience     Fear
 Boredom        Being Self-
 Disrespect      Conscious
 Arrogance      Mocking
 Pessimism      Embarrassment
 Anxiety        Sneering
 Rudeness       Disheartened
Three Really Useful Attitudes
 Enthusiasm

 Curiosity

 Humility
Individual Plan for Building
 Take a few minutes to create your own
  plan for building positive relationships
 What are your personal challenges?
 What are your personal skills?
 What situations need improvement?

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