CATCHPAGE 42 A COUGAR by yaofenji


									 what stuck:!people ! sex ! food ! busking ! dating ! new things ! sad things ! sport

              Meet the man behind The Works

                                              Are you a
                                              stress magnet?
                                              TIPS ON HOW TO DEAL PAGE   39

                                              CATCH 42
                                              HOW TO

PAGE 26                                       A COUGAR !
 Workplace Woes

             getting by at your 9-5
   !"##$%&#$'(                                                                                                                                            4    Contributors
                                                                                                                                                                                                              TABLE OF CONTENTS

                                                                                                                                                          5    Editor’s Letter

                                                                                                                                                                                       LOUNGE                                                SOAP BOX
                                                                                                                                                          6    Silence in the streets: Can you imagine a                44   Scrap the stereotypes: Anything you can do I

                                                                                                                                                               market without buskers?                        39             can do better.

                                                                                                                                                          8    Man, I feel like a woman: A girl’s life
                                                                                                                                                               in steel-toes.
                                                                                                                                                          10   There’s a new aristocracy in town: Polo                              BREAK DOWN

                                                                                                                                                               meets the 21st century.                                  46   “Do you come here often?” Anyone can pick
                                                                                                                                                          12   From Russia, with love: Canada, from the
                                                                                                                                                               outside looking in.
                                                                                                                                                                                                              18             up with these helpful tips.

                                                                                                                                                          14   Hidden between the sheets: What you don’t
                                                                                                                                                               know about sex can hurt you.
                                                                                                                                                          15   Ticketmania: Ticket scalping goes high-tech.
                                                                                                                                                          16   Bump up the volume: A shy girl’s
                                                                                                                                                               dancing adventure.
                                                                                                                                                          17   Lost but not forgotten: What happens when
                                                                                                                                                               a soldier doesn’t come home from war.

!                                                                     !>?5                                                                                18
                                                                                                                                                               Freedom at Depth: Scuba diving gives new

              00 !"#((%)
                                                                                                                                                                                                                   44                           31
                                                                                                                                                          21   Saying goodbye: A complicated journey
     /                             11 !"#$%&"'                                                                                                                 through grief after the loss of a parent.
                                                                                                                                                               The Burger King: Hungry? Better make it a

    70(8*$!$9:*;$<=>>0$?@$A:.'*-:$9B                                                                                                                      31   Northern Exposure: Ever wonder what
   CD01='$&-1E$0:$:F*$%&&'(&))*$7&G0:=&-                                                                                                                       reserve life is like?
                                                                                                                                                          35   8 Minutes in Heaven: The perils of dating in
                                                                                                                                                               the fast lane.


# 2#$3435'%63003'738393'7

                                                                                                                              COVER PHOTO BY KAT GUERIN
                                                                                                                                                                       CHEAT SHEET
                                                                                                                                                               Stressed to the max: Glue’s top 10 tips for
                                                                                                                                                               coping as a student.
                                               5(**6""# 7&(#"6*(,#)

                                                                                                                                                               Catching a cougar: There really is something
                                   4"**&1&                                                                                                                     to that older woman appeal.
              !""#$"%%&                                               7$897"::($&**(

   /011$22345666                                                                       5/&9*();9)*+<&9+)96"$;/9=+1/;+,19%"$
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         GLUE   Winter 2010   3
CONTRIBUTORS                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              EDITOR’S


                             KAT GUERIN                                   MAUREEN LAMOTHE                             KAYLA DE SOUSA                                                   Editor: Caitlin Kenny
                                                        Photo Editor                        Managing Editor                                  Design Editor                             Managing Editor: Maureen Lamothe
                                                                                                                                                                                       Photo Editor: Kat Guerin
                              Chasing Glue photographers was no           525,600 minutes. How do you mea-            Working on design for Glue was quite
                                                                                                                                                                                       Design Editor: Kayla De Sousa
                              easy task, but thankfully we had a          sure a year? Mine wasn’t measured           enjoyable as it allowed room for lots
                              talented bunch of shutterbugs and it        in love, it was measured in Glue. It’s      of creativity. And I got to shoot some
                              all came together beautifully.              been one hell of a year.                    guns.What more could I ask for?
                                                                                                                                                                                       Contributors: Amy Allen, Melanie C.
                                                                                                                                                                                       Blanchard, Mallory Clarkson, Carl Dumas,
                                                                                                                                                                                       Avinash Gavai, Alice Hutcheon, Patrick Kah-
                                                                                                                                                                                       touni, Nicolina Leone, Krista Maier, Emma
                                                                                                                                                                                       Marshall, Mike Mellon, Laura Osman, Chris
                                                                                                                                                                                       Seto, Jessica St. James, Katie Stewart,
                                                                                                                                                                                       Stuart Thomson, Lucas Timmons, Julia
                                                                                                                                                                                       Vorob’eva, Alex Wagstaff, Nathan Willard

                                                                                                                                                                                       Advertising Manager: Kaitlin McNamara
                            KAITLIN MCNAMARA                              CHRIS SETO                                  MIKE MELLON

                                                                                                                                                                PHOTOS BY KAT GUERIN
                                                                                                                                                                                       Account Executives: Kayla Araujo, Zachary
                                                                                                                                                                                       Klym, Chris Lawton, Arleth Lugo, Robyn Mia
                                          Advertising Manager                                   Photographer                                           Writer                          Sales & Research Coordinator: Sarah
                              I enjoyed meeting the goal of having a      I had never shot bike polo before. My       I never actually thought I’d be able to                          Powers
                              full-colour magazine. This could not have   hands numbed from the bitter cold as        write about picking up cougars and                               Creative Designers: Julian Chartrand,
                              been done without such a great team. A      I watched these guys perform their art      actually get it printed. But I did…                              Cassandra DiChiara
                              special thank you to all our advertisers.   - traditional polo’s got nothing on them.                                                                    Promotion & Circulation Manager: Amanda
                                                                                                                                                                                       Traffic & Production Manager: Shannon
                                                                                                                                                                                       Webmaster: Braden Davidson
        """"""".%+$*/'"0)1&22"*$3$%".)%,$(4                                                                                                                                            Advertising Instructors:
                                                                                                                                                                                       Sally Enright, Greg Wheeler
                                                                                                                                                                                       Journalism Instructors: Mark Anderson,
                                                                                                                                                                                       Joe Banks
                          !"#$%&'()%*+,'(-%'$./01#$"*'-.%#$%                                                                                                                           Photography Instructor: Ralph Plath
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               SOME LIKE TO KEEP their ducks in a                Mike Mellon, the epitome of ruggedness,
                  .('-,)%2#."%/-%3(0/-4%35$6/1'%7''18%9'-6"%                                                                                                                                                                                row, always prepared and ever organized.             takes our dare and treats himself to a man-
                   $'/.#-:4%/%,',#6/.',%;<=%/('/%2#."%0+..1'%                                                                                                                          Printed by: Performance Printing                     For me, that’s an understatement. I like to          icure. Right beside that story, Kayla De
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            keep my ducks in a row, categorized and              Sousa shares her excitement about shoot-
                   $'(&#6'4%/-,%/%1/(:'%+5'-%(++*%/11%6+*'%                                                                                                                                                                                 sorted by breed, weight and feather quality,         ing a gun for the rst time. Flip to page 35
                                                                                                                                                                                       For advertising information:
                     .+:'."'(%7+(%'->+)*'-.8%?+-@.%1'.%."'%                                                                                                                            Phone: 613-727-4723, ext. 7732                       all marching in perfect synchronization.             for Krista Maier’s adventures (and misad-
                                                                                                                                                                                       Email Address:                                          But 2009 just wasn’t on the same page.            ventures) as she throws caution to the wind
                       0/$'*'-.%1+6/1'%7++1%)+3A#.@$%>3$.%/%                                                                                                                                     e trend of the year seemed to be to take          and gives speed dating a try.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            the comfortable status quo, pick it up and              What better time to be inspired by these
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            give it a massive shake before dropping the          stories than now, as we say goodbye to last
                                                                                                                                                                                       Glue is dedicated to re ecting the experiences of
                                                                                                                                                                                       Ottawa’s college and university students, on their
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            scrambled pieces back in a state of disor-           year and take o running in 2010. anks
                                                                                                                                                                                       campuses and in their city. Our magazine cel-        der - a wild rollercoaster for my poor little        to everyone who worked so hard to put
                       -#:".%$+*'."#-:%,#77'('-.%/$%E../2/4%                                                                                                                           ebrates their interests and discoveries which all    mallards.                                            these stories together, and thank you for
                                                                                                                                                                                       contribute to making student life unforgettable.
                      F+-.('/1%/-,%<-.'(-/.#+-/1%?C@$%0(#-:%                                                                                                                           Glue is published twice per year by students in         It took all year before I gured it out, but       picking up an issue and reading.
                                                                                                                                                                                       the journalism-print and advertising programs at     I’ve nally accepted it: change is absolutely            Wishing you a wonderful year, full of
                     ."'#(%+2-%G/#(%/-,%G/&+3(%.+%."'%61308%                                                                                                                           Algonquin College.                                   inevitable. e best we can do is keep pace            change and excitement,
                   !"#$%#-.#*/.'%/-,%'61'6.#6%6130%#$%/11%."/.%                                                                                                                                                                             with it, rather than ght it. Better yet, wel-
                                                                                                                                                                                       School of Media & Design:                            come it and seek it out.
                               9/-D%H.8%"/$%0''-%2/#.#-:%7+(8                                                                                                                          Algonquin College, Woodroffe Campus
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   at’s what you’ll see here in this issue of
                                                                                                                                                                                       1385 Woodroffe Avenue
                                                                                                                                                                                       Ottawa, Ontario K2G 1V8                              Glue. Although the stories are all very dif-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            ferent, they are tied together by the idea of           Caitlin Kenny
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            taking a risk, adapting to change or trying
                                                                                                                                                                                                                    something new. Check out page 44, where

2   Winter 2010    GLUE                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                GLUE   Winter 2010   5
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Imagine a market without the

                                                                                                                                                                                                                           buskers—without the cheerful
                                                                                                                                                                                                                           strum of an acoustic guitar, or

                                                                                                                                                                                                                           the soft note of a violin. Would
                                                                                                                                                                                                                           the silent streets still hold the
                                                                                                                                                                                                                           same appeal?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                           here and do this everyday, for eight hours a                said John Byers, a busker who’s played on
                                                                                                                                                                                                                           day, and try and make a living at it. It’s just             the streets of Ottawa for years. “Everybody
                                                                                                                                                                                                                           a hobby.” MacKinnon believes that, instead                  doesn’t give — it’s like one out of a 100. So,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                           of encouraging more people to play, this                    you’re not going to make the money back.”
                                                                                                                                                                                                                           new law will discourage them.                                  MacKinnon thinks the bylaw is going
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 e City of Ottawa claims that the by-                  to “curtail the creativity” of people, caus-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                           law will allow performances to be sched-                    ing many performers to quit their trade
                                                                                                                                                                                                                           uled and organized, giving all buskers an                   early on. If he’s right, this would result in
                                                                                                                                                                                                                           equal share of playing time. Paolo Copelli,                 a smaller community of artists – a future
                                                                                                                                                                                                                           the market coordinator for the City of Ot-                  with less culture, less creativity.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                           tawa, explained that this bylaw will help                      Although it’s too early to know what will
                                                                                                                                                                                                                           the market get back to its origins, favoring                happen to the market when this bylaw is
                                                                                                                                                                                                                           local artists. He also commented on the                     enforced, so far it is causing a stir among
                                                                                                                                                                                                                           $200 fee, explaining, “If they really care                  both performers and their audience.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                           about their trade, this is not an exorbitant                Rinholm said that decision makers should
                                                                                                                                                                                                                           amount of money.”         ough $200 might                   consider the long-term impact when pro-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                           sound a ordable for some, there are many                    posing bylaws such as this one. “People
                                                                                                                                                                                                                           buskers who won’t be able to pay for it. “A                 need to think about what they do when
                                                                                                                                                                                                                           guy’s lucky if he can make $10 or $15 a day,”               they’re putting in policies.”


                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         CODE 121
                                                                                                                          Chris Seto
                                                                                                                                                                                                  Upon presentation of your Student ID Card.

 Silence in the Streets      A SUMMERTIME STROLL in the By-             kers — without the cheerful strum of an        short amount of time. On top of that, ev-
                                                                                                                                                                                                  Sur presentation de votre carte étudiante.
                                                                                                                                                                                                  With the purchase of a meal of $7 or more. One Fruit Cocktail per person, per visit. Cannot be combined with any other offer.
                                                                                                                                                                                                  Only at Cora listed below until June 15th 2010. Valide à l’achat d’un plat de 7 $ ou plus. Une offre par client, par visite. Ne peut
                                                                                                                                                                                                  être jumelée à aucune autre offre. Aucune valeur monétaire. Valide aux adresses ci-dessous jusqu’au 15 juin 2010.

                         Ward Market ignites the senses with the        acoustic guitar, or the so note of a violin.   ery performer must purchase a $50 license
                         sight of vibrant colours, the smell of fresh   Would the silent streets still hold the same   and then a $150 permit if they would like
                         produce and the sound of street perform-       appeal?      e atmosphere in the market        to play for the full year.   e $200 price tag
                         ers.       e experience downtown provides      could be drastically altered with a new by-    is causing artists to reconsider whether the
                         an illustration of the culture and talent in   law, forcing performers to pay if they want    cost to play is worth it.
                         Ottawa, showcased for all to see.              to play.                                          Mike MacKinnon has been a busker for
                             “It’s all part of the vibrancy of coming      For many, this bylaw threatens the life     years and has played his guitar in many
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Valid only at:
                         down here,” said Rick Rinholm, a longtime      of the market, imposing new regulations        cities across Canada. He understands the                                                                        Alta Vista    2629 Alta Vista Drive                                613-523-2672
                                                                                                                                                                       PHOTO BY CHRIS SETO

                         Ottawa resident who o en frequents the         and fees that buskers will have to adhere      need to have a license but thinks the price                                                                     Rideau        179 Rideau Street                                    613-241-7642
                         market. “It would be really unfortunate if     to. Similar to parked cars, performers will    is too steep.                                                                                                   Lincoln Field 1355 Richmond Road                                   613-828-2672
                         it lost that kind of ambiance.”                now be forced to keep within the lines of         “I don’t think it’s worth my while to pay                                                                    Nepean        1545 Merivale Rd.                                    613-226-6556
                             But imagine a market without the bus-      their allotted space, and only stay for a      $200,” he said. “I’m not going to come out

6   Winter 2010   GLUE                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               GLUE     Winter 2010           7
                                                                                   Perhaps, if I was a secretary in a law o ce.
                                                                                But if you want to be accepted as a woman in

                                                                                the male-dominated, rough-and-tumble world
                                                                                of landscaping, you have to take a remarkably
                                                                                di erent approach towards any crude verbal or
                                                                                physical assaults on your person. A swi hip-
                                                                                check to the groin works nicely.
                                                                                   AFTER TWO MONTHS of desperately search-
                                                                                ing for full-time summer employment, I nally

                                                                                accepted a friend’s o er to get me a job in the
                                                                                landscaping industry. I thought I knew what to
                                                                                expect as I walked into the shop the next morn-
                                                                                ing, a er all, this wasn’t my rst time working in
                                                                                manual labour. But when I walked in with my                                                                       What the
                                                                                almost-shiny work boots, my clean hair, my lilac-
                                                                                smelling clothing and my well-manicured hands,                                                                  hell are you
                                                                                I realized I wasn’t what they expected.
                                                                                      e boys began their hazing process right                                                                   looking at?
                                                                                from the beginning with less than endearing
                                                                                nicknames, jokes that in any other crowd would
                                                                                                                                                                                                You’ve never
                                                                                be deemed highly inappropriate, and grunt work
                                                                                that even the hardiest men would shy away from.
                                                                                                                                                                                                seen a girl in
                                                                                   Being blessed with a huge chip on my shoul-
                                                                                der, this only encouraged me to beat them at
                                                                                                                                                                                                work boots
                                                                                their own game.                                                                                                 before?

                                                                                   “SHOVEL FASTER!” one of the boys shouts at
                                                                                                                                        perhaps surprisingly I don’t mind. In fact, when
                                                                                me as I scrape soil out of a tipped up dump truck
                                                                                                                                        I turn back to my shovelling I’m smiling to my-
                                                                                into wheelbarrows.
                                                                                                                                        self, knowing that later, when the job’s done, I can
                                                                                   “You want to get up here?” I re back. “No?
                                                                                                                                        probably squeeze a beer out of him in payment
                                                                                   en shut up.”
                                                                                                                                        for his indiscretions.
                                                                                   He doesn’t, of course. “Could you pull your
                                                                                                                                            In fact, while this kind of behaviour would
                                                                                thong out a bit more?”
                                                                                                                                        turn most women o not only the landscaping in-
                                                                                   “Go to hell,” I retort, ipping a shovelful of soil
                                                                                                                                        dustry but men in general, I actually thrive on it.
                                                                                into his face.
                                                                                                                                            Months were spent building meaningful
                                                                                   Still he persists. Next time I turn around, I
                                                                                                                                        friendships with these boys. Lines were continu-
                                                                                catch him pointing at my bent backside, nodding
                                                                                his head and smiling at a crew down the street.
                                                                                   “Quit being such a pig!” I yell, dousing him
                                                                                                                                        ally drawn, crossed, then drawn again.
                                                                                                                                            Sure, there were times when the guys, like            &,-.$+"$/"00!
                                                                                                                                        little puppies, would get over-excited and need
                                                                                with another shovelful of topsoil.
                                                                                                                                        to be swatted over the nose to force them back
                                                                                      en, turning my attention to the crew down
                                                                                                                                        behind the line. But it’s mostly innocent fun --
                                                                                the road, “What the hell are you looking at?
                                                                                                                                        tolerable at its worst, and in most cases, hilarious.
                                                                                You’ve never seen a girl in work boots before?”                                                                   %*$N.0(0-:**H
                                                                                                                                            As for me, I too walk a ne line between being
                                                                                      is kind of banter is all too common, and                                                                    O.01=:E$D*F=G1*L$0:$7&?$<(=G*L
                                                                                                                                        respected as a woman and working like a man. If           A0)*:E$0-'$PI:*L:*'
                                                                                                                                        there is an upside to being a woman working in
                                                                                                                                        the landscaping industry, it’s that you can always        (*-0.:&;&:=,*4G&;
                                   Mallory Clarkson                                                                                     go above and beyond expectations. Even though
                                                                                                                                        I get razzed for my physical attributes, I can work
                                                                                                                                        the day through with the boys and still get invited

               Man, I feel
                                                                                                                                        for beers when the day is done.
                                First week on the                                                                                           WHILE SEXUAL HARASSMENT is not OK in
                                                                                                                                        any way, working side by side with men - real men -
                                job, a co-worker                                                                                        can actually help erase the barriers between the

                                grabs me by the                                                                                         sexes. e ability to show them and myself daily

           like a woman
                                                                                                                                        what I as a woman can o er in a primarily male-
                                hips and pretends                                                                                       dominated, blue-collar industry is something I
                                                                                                                                        think every woman should experience.
                                to hump my                                                                                                  It took less than seven months for me to realize
                                                      PHOTOS BY EMMA MARSHALL

                                                                                                                                        that I had “made it” and become “one of the guys.”
                                backside. Grounds                                                                                           My acceptance into the boys club became clear
                                                                                                                                        one day when one of the lads let it rip in the truck,
                                for a hefty sexual                                                                                      looked at me and giggled.
                                                                                                                                                                                                  3!#42Q"4Q"Q"                           !"#$%&'(
                                assault suit?                                                                                               “Oops, I forgot you were a girl,” he said. And
                                                                                                                                        then rolled up the window for good measure.
                                                                                                                                                                                                  Q$+1*R0-'*($A:4$S$A;=:FL$T011L$S$UV      !"#$%&'()*+'

2   Winter 2010   GLUE                                                                                                                                                                                                            GLUE   Winter 2010      9
                                                                                                                                                                                                                ski poles made of bamboo, carbon bre or
                                                                                                                                                                                                                most commonly aluminum and are given
                                                                                                                                                                                                                heads of PVC pipe. “ ere’s a good call
                                                                                                                                                                                                                for malletsmiths,” said Macdonald. “A well
                                                                                                                                                                                                                made mallet is hard to come by.”
                                                                                                                                                                                                                      e level of physical contact in bike polo
                                                                                                                                                                                                                changes from court to court but the rule is
                                                                                                                                                                                                                contact is kept bike to bike, body to body
                                                                                                                                                                                                                and mallet to mallet. “ at’s my particular
                                                                                                                                                                                                                thing, hooking mallets,” said Macdonald.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                Regarding the local code of conduct, Alex
                                                                                                                                                                                                                said, “Ottawa has been more about skill
                                                                                                                                                                                                                than just brute force. It has cost us in the
                                                                                                                                                                                                                past, but has earned some recognition.”
                                                                                                                                                                                                                While polo is not intended to be a rough
                                                                                                                                                                                                                sport, “if you play a rough game, people

                                                                                                                                                                                                                treat you in kind and you’re more likely to
                                                                                                                                                                                                                get hurt.”
                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Local players started in Ottawa down in
                                                                                                                                                                                                                the market, but for the past four years have                                                                            The players mount up and take to the eld with
                                                                                                                                                                                                                found a new home at Ev Tremblay Park on                                                                                 excitement and anticipation for the afternoon

                                                                                                                                                                                                                Beech Street at Champagne Street across
                                                                                                                                                                                                                from DiRienzo’s sandwich shop. ey can                                                                                   clash. The match starts and players charge
                                                                                                                                                                                                                also be found online at
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        forward hungrily.

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                                 olo has evolved. Today it is a no-hel-   are just one of over 100 such hardcourt           you’re mounted.” e game is played with
                                 met, no-holds-barred cage-match.         polo clubs around the world and this ev-          three players a side, with two goals at op-
                                    e players mount up and take to        eryman sport is only growing.                     posite ends that are about one bike-length
                          the eld with excitement and anticipation           “It’s a gentleman’s game,” said Alex Mac-      wide. Games generally go to ve points and
                          for the a ernoon clash. e match starts          donald, a Mallets of Mayhem member and            there are no positions, but it’s not uncom-                                                                                                                                                 See us
                          and players charge forward hungrily. Mal-       local bike courier, Macdonald has been            mon for someone to “post up” in net. is                                                                                                                                                  when you
                          lets swing and the ball races around the        playing hardcourt polo for about six years.       is when a player balances on their bike
                          court pursued by practiced riders, but          Polo has been a big part of Macdonald’s           using their mallet for support. Any time                                                                                                                   REBATE                      for the ride
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                          at the end of the day, the players will put     life and two years ago he attended the 2008       a player’s foot touches the ground, locally
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                                                                                                                                                                             PHOTO ILLUSTRATION BY CHRIS SETO

                          their bikes in the garage and kick back to      Cycle Messenger World Championships               called “dabbing”, it is a foul and that player
                          recount the game’s highlights.
                             Polo is a sport traditionally associated
                                                                          hosted by Toronto, though its venue moves
                                                                          around the world each year. CMWC 2009
                                                                                                                            must face a penalty before resuming play.
                                                                                                                            Di erent courts use di erent house rules
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                                                                                                                            to either do a full circle on your bike, touch
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                          bred to play. Ottawa’s Mallets of Mayhem        real polo is that there are mallets, a ball and   are homemade from handles of scavenged                                                *Whichever comes first. Regular maintenance not included. **Best backed claim does not cover Lancer Evolution and Ralliart models. See dealer or for Warranty and Roadside Assistance terms and conditions and other details. Important program restrictions
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10   Winter 2010   GLUE                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            GLUE        Winter 2010            11

                          From Russia,
                          with love                                                               International student Julia Vorob’eva shares
                                                                                                  her rst impressions of Canadians - and their
                                                                                                  enormous appetites.

                          Julia Vorob’eva

                             Canadians! “It is all about food, eh?”       chocolate bar during class, the teacher here     ford in Russia.
                                at was the rst question I asked af-       in Canada absolutely did not mind me eat-           Not only is minimum wage higher in
                          ter three days spent in Canada, although I      ing in class.                                    Canada, but the food is cheaper here too.
                          only gured out the meaning of the sound            When lunchtime rolled around and that         When I rst went to a Canadian restaurant,
                          “eh” later on. It seems like a very important   same classmate had a piece of pizza with a       I was thrilled to get twice as much food as
                          part of Canadian vocabulary, apparently         can of Coke, I realized how equipped Can-        you would in Russia, for the same price.
                          used in order to con rm whether the lis-        ada is with food.                                   e heap of pasta in front of me was two

                          tener heard what was asked about.
                             But, really, why are Canadians so mental
                          about food?
                             When I rst came to Canada from Rus-
                          sia about a year ago, the Canadian family I
                          lived with made me dinner.
                             “Wow, that’s a really big plate,” I said,
                          eyeing the mounds of roast beef and
                                                                             People from here would de nitely be
                                                                          starving at school cafeterias in Russia, hav-
                                                                          ing a bowl of soup and
                                                                          a cutlet with mashed
                                                                          potatoes – the only
                                                                          food on the menu.
                                                                             In Russia’s rural ar-
                                                                          eas, many people still
                                                                                                      People from here
                                                                                                     would de nitely be
                                                                                                     starving at school
                                                                                                                           to three times as much as any restaurant
                                                                                                                           back home would serve. e funniest thing
                                                                                                                                                   is that the more
                                                                                                                                                   expensive the res-
                                                                                                                                                   taurant, the smaller
                                                                                                                                                   your portion will be.
                                                                                                                                                   ba ed by Canada’s

                          mashed potatoes.
                             But later I would learn the Canadian
                                                                          don’t even know what
                                                                          vending machines are
                                                                                                     cafeterias in Russia.                         food obsession, one
                                                                                                                                                   thing is clear: like
                          food mentality: the bigger the plate, the       or how they work. I doubt they have ever         their immense appetites and super-sized
                          more pleasurable the meal, especially if it’s   even heard of McDonald’s either. e fact          helpings, Canadians have big hearts to
                          full of poutine.                                is that even one of the biggest cities in Rus-   match.
                                e next day I had my rst class in Can-     sia, Vladivostok, which has the same num-           Even with their excesses in food, money
                          ada. at day, one of my classmates bought        ber of people as Ottawa, still does not have     and vending machine technology, they are
                          breakfast from the cafeteria, including         McDonald’s. You’d probably think, are you        very nice people, who would never think
                          eggs, sausages, bacon, two pieces of toast      guys crazy?                                      badly of you even if you don’t have much
                                                                                                                                                                           PHOTOS BY KAYLA DE SOUSA

                          and of course a pile of hashbrowns. In Rus-        A er a week of full-time work at mini-        money.
                          sia this would be the size of a dinner. Never   mum wage, a Canadian would rake in                  A Canadian person would still be a great
                          before had I realized that mornings could       enough to a ord a small fridge, whereas in       friend of yours.
                          necessitate that kind of calorie intake.        Russia the income would barely be enough            And in my opinion, that is what sets
                             Unlike in Russia, where I was once           to cover the cost of a meal at e Keg. No         Canadian people apart from the rest of
                          kicked out of the classroom for opening a       wonder vodka and pickles are all we can af-      the world.

12   Winter 2010   GLUE

  hidden between
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Ticket scalping just ain’t what
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     it used to be. Gone are the

  the sheets                                                                                                                                                                                                                         days of bundled-up men yelling
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     outside the arena. In its place,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     the Internet is becoming the
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Laura Osman

     What you don’t know can’t hurt you. Or so                                                                                                                                                                                       new black market for tickets.
     we thought...                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Ticket scalpers were once easy to spot and had        for users to buy and sell tickets. Ticket-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        to work hard for their ill-gotten pro ts. ey were        master began linking directly to the site
                               Sexually transmitted infections – many                                                                                                                                                                   found outside venues with tickets held above the         when shows sold out, referring hopeful
                            of them being asymptomatic - are on the                                                                                                                                                                     heads of the crowd, o ering better seats or a last       buyers to a place where they could still get
                            rise among young women and men in Ot-                                                                                                                                                                       chance to a desperate fan.                               tickets. e company pro ts not only on
     Kat Guerin             tawa. Speci cally, cases of chlamydia and                                                                                                                                                                      Ticket scalping is the buying of tickets and sell-    initial sales fees, but makes an additional
                            gonorrhea are increasing.                                                                                                                                                                                   ing them for more than the original price. In the        10 to 15 per cent on tickets resold through
                               According to Ottawa Public Health, cas-                                                                                                                                                                  province of Ontario it’s as illegal online as it is on   TicketsNow.         e practice has landed
                            es of gonorrhea have quadrupled in young                                                                                                                                                                    the street to buy or sell scalped tickets, but not so    Ticketmaster with several group lawsuits,
                            men and tripled in young women between                                                                                                                                                                      easily policed.                                          but to date there have been no charges laid
                            1997 and 2005 in Ottawa. Similarly, cases                                                                                                                                                                         e face of ticket scalping has changed drastic-     against the company for facilitating illegal
                            of chlamydia have doubled in young men                                                                                                                                                                      ally over the past few years. e club is not nearly       activity.
                            and increased by more than 30 per cent in                                                                                                                                                                   as exclusive. Anyone with an Internet connection            Right or wrong, damning to the ticket in-
                            young women.                                                                                                                                                                                                and a credit card can turn a pro t on concert tick-      dustry or simply supply and demand, it will
                               Not incidentally, perhaps, the joys of sex                                                                                                                                                               ets from the comfort of their home, even despite         take some time for police resources to catch
                            are being su ciently covered all over the                                                                                                                                                                   strict anti-scalping laws. Online anonymity has          up with the crime. Said a Phone Buster rep-
                            media in music videos, television, song lyr-                                                                                                                                                                made ticket scalping a casual a air, nothing more        resentative, “We use the ‘buyer beware’ ap-
                            ics, etc. (we all know Britney Spears wasn’t                                                                                                                                                                than a quick transaction.                                proach. It’s all we can really do.” !
                            really seeking a friend named Amy). en                                                                                                                                                                         Internet users have a plethora of online market-
                            again, you never hear a rapper rhyming                                                                                                                                                                      places to sell their wares. All business is conducted
                            about how he caught ‘the clap.’                                                                                                                                                                             facelessly behind usernames.
                               So what are these STIs?                                                                                                                                                                                     “ ere could be a thousand new users every day
                               Chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis, are
                            examples of STIs that are caused by bacte-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        who want to sell tickets,” said a representative of                                                                         E!")F'G/'
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Phone Busters, a collaborative RCMP and OPP
                            ria. ey can be spread during unprotected                                                                                                                                                                    fraud phone line initiative. “We don’t have the re-
                            sexual activity and can cause severe prob-                                                                                                                                                                  sources to really police that.”
                            lems like pelvic in ammatory disease in                                                                                                                                                                        Scalping was a treacherous but pro table busi-
                            women, infertility in both sexes, and more.                                                                                                                                                                 ness in the golden years of street scalping because
                               According to Jeanette Doucet, executive          Damage can be caused to the body with-        mind or give you a head start on getting the                                                              of the threat of fake tickets and undercover cops.
                            director of Planned Parenthood Ottawa,          out you knowing because many STIs show            treatment you need if you have an infection.                                                                 e crime was much more heavily policed, but fans
                            HIV (Human Immunode ciency Virus)               little to no symptoms. ese silent killers            “You should have a full screening for                                                                  o en found the perpetrators to be dubious allies.
                            in particular can be spread through ve          can be spread by someone you trust and            STIs between partners,” said Doucet. “If                                                                     Today smart scalpers can turn a pro t without
                            di erent uids: breast milk, semen, blood,       who believes they’re ‘clean.’                     you’re monogamous, both partners should                                                                   breaking a sweat, but common sense precautions
                            and vaginal and erectile uid.                       “If you have no symptoms, but you have        get the test every six months and a woman                                                                 are key to protecting the guilty. “Don’t publicize the
                               Hepatitis C can be spread through four       it, you’re spreading it,” said Doucet. Untreat-   should get a yearly Pap smear.”                                                                           seat number,” said one online scalper.
                              uids: semen, blood and vaginal uid as         ed STIs can spread to the testicles and pelvis       Luckily, most STIs are treatable and can                                                                  O cial ticket sellers have had to get creative to
                            well as saliva – the latter classi ed as very   in men and the ovaries and fallopian tube in      be cured. Depending on the infection, they                                                                protect their pro ts. Big ticket monopolies have
                            low-risk.                                       women, and possibly cause infertility.            may be cured with antibiotics, ointments or                                                               been combating scalping for ages, but the con-
                               Moreover, the Public Health Agency of            “You may not know you’re infertile until      by keeping the infected area clean. However,                                                              nectivity provided by new technology allows every
                            Canada says some STIs, including herpes         you’re ready to start a family,” said Doucet.     there is no cure for HIV or herpes to date.                                                               ticket buyer to become a potential scalper.
                            and genital warts, are spread through skin-         If abstinence isn’t an option to which           Services within the community, city,                                                                      In 2008, Ticketmaster began selling digital tick-
                            to-skin contact. While parasitic STIs, such     you’re willing to commit, how do you pre-         province and country are available to help                                                                ets. In some cases, show-goers present their credit
                            as pubic lice and scabies, can be spread        vent yourself from contracting STIs?              prevent STIs. From a local sexual health                                                                  cards instead of tangible tickets in order to be ad-
                                                                                                                                                                                                    ILLUSTRATION BY ALICE HUTCHEON

                            through bed sheets or towels.                       Proper protection can go a long way. Be-      clinic to Ottawa Public Health to the Pub-                                                                mitted. is le scalpers with nothing physical to
                               Outside the bedroom, hepatitis C can be      ing diligent when using condoms and den-          lic Health Agency of Canada, information                                                                  sell their customers.
                                                                                                                                                                             PHOTOS BY KAT GUERIN

                            transmitted through unclean needles used        tal dams can prevent some STIs. As well,          and help is easily accessible to anyone.                                                                     Still, e orts by o cial ticket companies have
                            for tattoos, piercings and drugs.
                               “Drug users are at high risk of contract-
                                                                            using clean, sterilized, unused needles for
                                                                            piercings, tattoos and drugs can also pre-
                                                                                                                                 When health is at stake, it’s better to
                                                                                                                              know rather than dismiss. Ignorance isn’t
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        been only marginally successful and tickets con-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        tinue to be sold at in ated prices online. As a result
                            ing hepatitis C if clean needles aren’t used    vent the spread of infection.                     always bliss. And what you don’t know can                                                                 Ticketmaster began cashing in on the resale trend                                      A:<@B'9=C'(D:>@:B        /567'89:;<=>'#?@1
                            all the time,” said Doucet.                         Regular testing can provide peace of          hurt you. !
                                                                                                                                       "                                                                                                by purchasing TicketsNow, an online marketplace

14     Winter 2010   GLUE                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          GLUE   Winter 2010   15
                                                    LOUNGE                                                                                                                                                            Jocelyn Ranger’s father was the 44th

                                                                                                                                                                                                                      Canadian soldier killed in Afghanistan.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                      With every milestone that passes in her
                                                                                                                                                                                                                      life, he is not far from her mind.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Lost but not forgotten                                                                                    Melanie C. Blanchard

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        orty-Four. To most, this number             Jocelyn’s father was the 44th Canadian      she threw herself into her upcoming nuptials.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        has no meaning. To Jocelyn Ranger,       soldier killed in Afghanistan.                    “Surprisingly, it didn’t hit me on my
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        44 made the world stop. Forty-four          When a soldier’s life stops, the fam-       wedding day that my father was not walk-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   caused her to stop breathing, hoping and      ily must nd a way to move forward. For         ing me down the aisle,” she said.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   dreaming.                                     Ranger, moving on with her life meant nev-        Soon a er came the birth of her son and
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      On Nov. 27, 2006, Regimental Sgt. Maj      er forgetting the sacri ce her father made     the awareness of just what was lost. “I nal-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   Chief Warrant O cer Robert Girouard was       and honouring him at every chance.             ly realized that my children would never
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   traveling near the southern city of Kanda-       “My family continues to grieve for him      know their grandfather,” said Ranger.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   har with his men. A suicide bomber pulled     every day,” said Ranger during her emo-           Life moved forward from there. Rang-

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   up alongside Girouard’s Bison armoured        tional acceptance speech for a scholarship     er was given a monumental opportunity,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   personnel carrier. When the bomber deto-      in honour of her father’s memory.              the chance to go back to school, and she
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   nated his explosives, Girouard and Cpl. Al-      Ranger said that it didn’t really hit her   took it. This chance came in the form of

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   bert Storm lost their lives.                  right away that her father was gone. Instead   Project Hero. e scholarship was created
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                by Honorary Lt.-Col Kevin Reed of the 31
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Brigade, and retired General and former

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Chief of Defence Sta Rick Hillier.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   To be eligible for the award a student
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                must be under 26 years of age, be a Ca-

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                nadian resident, and have lost a parent or
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                spouse while on active military duty not
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                predating 2002.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       ings have been stressful for Ranger
     !"#$%&'($#""#)$*$#&$+$,)-.",$                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              with the beginning of school because her
                                                      UP THE                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    husband is also preparing to deploy to Af-

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                ghanistan. But being back in school has
     4#5,$6-,#7$,-6"$-1.$2"(%$-66&(.-89"$                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       helped Ranger deal.
     :,$9&/$-,$;<=>?>=$@9',$#-A",                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  “[It] has enabled me to connect with
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                adults and create relationships but I am still
                                                        Amy Allen                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               grieving my father which, at times, makes

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                it di cult to focus,” she said.
     C&$)0.."1$B&,#,7$1&$D0EE0BF,$                       ’ve never considered myself a good dancer.           everything under the sun. She’s taught not only in                                                                                                                                                                   Because her family is primarily military,
     -1.$1&$-#$)&E"$#(-%,                                When I was a teenager, I shunned high school         Montreal and Ottawa, but also for Club Med in the                                                                                                                                                                 they are spread out across the province but
                                                         dances and skipped prom. To this day, I avoid        Dominican Republic.                                                                                                                                                                                               Ranger has the support she needs to move
     :,F$-8&'#$GE09"$!"E,3                               weddings like they’re the plague. Needless to           She’s been dancing Reggaeton ever since she vis-                                                                                                                                                               forward. She does not doubt that at one call
                                                    say, my decision to join a Reggaeton dance class          ited Cuba ve years ago. is style of music rose                                                                                                                                                                    her family would be there for her.
                                                    with my sisters at the Glebe Community Centre             to popularity in South America during the 1990s.                                                                                                                                                                     “Even though I am lacking in proximate
                                                    ba ed all who knew me.                                    Although it has only recently gained attention in                                                                                                                                                                 family support, I have my friends, classmates,
                                                       I walked in on my rst day not knowing what             North America, dance classes based on the music                                                                                                                                                                   and instructors who I feel I can lean on over
                                                    to expect. Before I knew it I was strutting across        have already started cropping up everywhere.                                                                                                                                                                      the course of my studies,” said Ranger.
                                                    the studio moving my shoulders and hips in ways              “It’s a mix of dancehall and Latin and it’s high-                                                                                                                                                                 She plans to nish her studies at Algon-
                                                    I never knew shoulders and hips were supposed to          energy body shaking,” Phaneuf said, stressing that                                                                                                                                                                quin College in the eld of business. Ulti-
                                                    move. For the most part, I felt like a geriatric having   Reggaeton requires that you learn to move certain                                                                                                                                                                 mately she would like to enter the eld of
                                                    a seizure.                                                parts of your body separately from the rest.                                                                                                                                                                      human resources and then grow her family
-./-#0$123)*$#4&)5# !"#$%%&$"#''#                      But my initial feelings of incompetence and               Phaneuf said that Reggaeton is accessible to any-                                                                                                                                                              while being a business woman.
 6+$78#8&#91):$#;<0)**$=<">     ((($()*+,-)./,$0.
                                                    embarrassment quickly morphed into excitement.            one who wants to try it. Men and women of all ages                                                                                                                                                                   Girouard’s dream was to see his family suc-
                                                    For one thing, I wasn’t nearly as bad as I’d expect-      can dance Reggaeton — it’s only a matter of nding                                                                                                                                                                 ceed at higher education and be triumphant
                                                    ed, and for quite another, I wasn’t the only girl in      the courage to step into the unknown.                                                                                                                                                                             in their lives. All of this would not be possible
                                                                                                                                                                     PHOTOS BY LAURA OSMAN

                                                                                                                                                                                             PHOTO BY KATIE STEWART

                                                    the room who felt self-conscious about her lack              For me, it’s an incredible workout and it sure                                                                                                                                                                 without funding from the scholarship.
                                                    of experience.                                            beats jogging around the block at ve in the morn-                                                                                                                                                                    “ e Project Hero initiative demon-

         7%'48994                                      Our instructor, Emilie Phaneuf, has been teach-
                                                    ing dance for eight years. Her background in dance
                                                    ranges from the traditional to the modern: from
                                                                                                              ing. More importantly, it’s a con dence booster.
                                                                                                              Even when you think you look ridiculous, one
                                                                                                              glance in the mirror spanning the wall will tell you
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                strates to our community that Canadians
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                are proud of our soldiers and their families,
        +8(.:/-4"4)82:4                             ballet to ballroom to hip hop, she’s danced almost                                                 "
                                                                                                              that you look less ridiculous than you feel. !
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                and that they will remember their sacri-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  ce,” said Ranger. !
  16      Winter 2010    GLUE                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            GLUE    Winter 2010    17
                                                                  group of scuba divers passes over the
                                                                  wreck of the Conestoga, a combined
                                                                  passenger and cargo steamer.          e
                                                           once mighty ship now rests along the bot-
                                                           tom of the St. Lawrence Seaway. A heap of
                                                           cracked wooden planks and rusting iron,
                                                           the Connie pales in comparison to its 1878
                                                           splendour. She caught re, loaded with a
                                                           cargo of wheat, and sank on May 22, 1922.
                                                              Back on land, the divers compare notes
                                                           about what they saw. It’s the usual banter
                                                           about sh and crawdads, water tempera-
                                                           ture and visibility – a completely unre-
                                                           markable dive, in other words, if it weren’t
                                                           for the fact one of the divers was a quad-
                                                           riplegic, one was missing a leg, and a third
                                                           was missing an arm.
                                                              Welcome to Freedom at Depth Canada,
                                                           the country’s only scuba diving program
                                                           geared toward physically disabled divers.
                                                           Program founder and general manager
                                                           Hubert Chrétien, son of former Prime
                                                           Minister Jean Chrétien, has been teach-
                                                           ing people with mobility impairment to
                                                           dive for the past 18 years. And what he’s
                                                           discovered is that the so-called disabilities
                                                           that are so evident on land, all but vanish      Hubert Chrétien helps a quadriplegic diver into the water of the St. Lawrence Seaway.
                                                           under water.
                                                               “We take the wheelchair out of the              Chrétien tries to ensure that every diver        will take one diver who needs assistance
                                                           wheelchair sports,” says Chrétien, who’s         he trains stays a diver.         e certi cation     in the morning and one in the a ernoon.
                                                           been diving since age 11. “It’s a very nor-      as an open water diver takes one week-              Other divers are welcome to join as well.
                                                           malizing ativity.     ere’s nothing wrong        end. When Chrétien books that weekend                  But before getting there, the divers must
                                                           with wheelchair basketball, but when you         for his students, he also books them four           learn the basics.
                                                           play wheelchair basketball you’re with a         or ve others days of diving that summer.               Freedom at Depth’s course is set to each
                                                           bunch of people in wheelchairs. When you            e goal is to get them at least 15 dives per      diver’s ability. Being a one-on-one course, it
                                                           go diving, you’re just diving with other         season.                                             is a lot more intimate than a regular scuba
                                                           people.”                                            “If people don’t do 10 or 15 dives a year        course that would typically have seven or
                                                              Chrétien in many ways is Freedom at           they won’t stay in the sport,” explains Chrétien.   eight students per instructor. It takes about
                                                           Depth: He is the program’s teacher, ac-             Freedom at Depth also o ers diving in            seven evenings on average, but Chrétien
                                                           countant and fundraiser. He’s also the only      the Caribbean. “We bring people to the Ca-          will change the course to meet the needs

                                                           person in Canada quali ed to train other         ribbean to dive, but we never certify people        of the diver.
                                                           scuba instructors on how to work with dis-       in the Caribbean,”
                                                           abled divers.                                    says Chrétien. “If

                                   PHOTOS BY TED TIMMONS
                                                              “We teach [scuba instructors] about dis-      people learn to dive         It’s a very normalizing activity. There’s
                                                           ability awareness, psychology of disability,     in paradise they are
                                                           physiology of disability, how to travel with     never going to want         nothing wrong with wheelchair basketball,
                                                           people with disability.”
             Lucas Timmons                                    While Freedom at Depth does o er
                                                                                                            to dive [in the St.
                                                                                                            Lawrence]. If peo-
                                                                                                                                        but when you play wheelchair basketball
             explores                                      courses on how to be a dive buddy for            ple don’t dive here,
                                                                                                                                        you’re with a bunch of people in wheelchairs.

                                                           someone with a disability, the larger man-       they’re not going to
                                                           date for Freedom at Depth is to train dis-
                                                           abled divers, and to give them the tools,
                                                                                                            stay in the sport.”
                                                                                                               Chrétien sets up at
                                                                                                                                        When you go diving, you’re just diving with
                                                           resources and support to pursue the sport.
                                                                                                                                        other people.

                                                                                                            the Divi Flamingo
                                                               “Our school is not just about training       resort in the Dutch

                                                           people with disabilities to dive,” says Chré-    Antilles and takes
                                                           tien. “Once they are certi ed divers, it’s or-   divers out with him to explore much pret-             “I once had a girl who had a lot of dif-
                                                           ganizing all sorts of activities and outings     tier scenes than at the bottom of the St.            culties because her handicap was quite se-
                                                           to get them opportunities to dive and get-       Lawrence.                                           vere. I did 20 pool sessions with her. We’ll
                                                           ting them the assistance to go diving.                 e divers who go book time with Chré-          do whatever is needed.”
                                                              “Our objective is to make divers,” he         tien at the resort. Freedom at Depth does             “I don’t like it when people say, ‘tell me
                                                           adds. “I would rather teach one person           not charge for this service, but divers must        about your program,’” says Chrétien. “I
                                                           who does 100 dives, rather than 100 people       book their own airfare and accommoda-               don’t see it as a program. It’s something
                                                           who only do one dive.”                           tions. Chrétien does two dives a day and            that’s adapted to people’s individual needs.

   182   Winter 2010   GLUE                                                                                                                                                                                      GLUE   Winter 2010   19
                                               People with disabilities all have di erent require-         more than just learning diving ability.
                                               ments.”                                                         “It also builds a lot of con dence,” says Chrétien.
                                                  For disabled divers, there are three di erent levels     “It’s a very cerebral sport. I cannot make a good diver
                                               at which Freedom at Depth can certify. e levels de-         out of somebody who’s scared, out of somebody who
                                                 ne how a diver is able to dive.                           doesn’t have a good spatial orientation. You need to
                                                  “It’s not based on disability; it’s based on ability,”   have the right stu . e water is very, very forgiving
                                               says Chrétien. “You can have two people with the            of physical ability but requires a sharp mind.”
                                               same disability but they don’t fall in the same cat-            To say that diving and handicapped dive training
                                               egory because it’s performance based.”                      has taken over Chrétien’s life would be an understate-

                                                  A-level divers are totally capable of taking care        ment. He has a private indoor pool that allows him
                                               of their buddies. at includes being able to tow a           to train divers when it gets too cold to dive in the
                                               hurt or tired buddy to the boat and provide rst aid         St. Lawrence. He has a fully accessible apartment that
                                               if needed. ey have no restrictions and only have to         he lends out, at no charge, if traveling poses a major

                                               dive with one buddy.                                        hardship for a student. He spends three months out
                                                  B-level divers can take care of themselves in the        of the country diving, and four months of six-day-
                                               water, but cannot rescue their buddies; they have to        weeks traveling from Gatineau to the St. Lawrence.
                                               dive with two buddies to provide redundant backup                “I’m scared of the day I won’t be able to li people

                                               in case of emergency.                                       and I will have to start teaching instructors full time
                                                      e c-level also requires two dive buddies, and one    instead of teaching people with disabilities,” says
                                               of them has to be quali ed by the Handicap Scuba            Chrétien. “It’s not a job. It’s a vocation. It’s a passion.
                                               Association as a dive buddy, dive master or instructor.     It’s something in my life that comes before everything

                                                      e bene ts of Freedom at Depth’s course are                                                                "
                                                                                                           else. I don’t live a very balanced life and I love it.” !


                                                                                                                                                                          STORY BY PATRICK KAHTOUNI
                                                                                                                                                                          PHOTO BY CAITLIN KENNY

                                                                                                                                                                          When a loved one passes away, those
!"#$"%&'%!(#%)"##*#+%#,-%.'"$(/'0%$1'%%                                                                                                                                   left behind are stuck in a void, dealing
23%230$%4,,$1%43%230$*5%)"#6%$1'%-,/78%                                                                                                                                   with unanswerable questions and
230$*5%)"#>0%?"$'#$'8%2"+#")"#%                                                                                                                                           inconsolable pain.


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P/,A,%Q,8'D%  %!89

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     Winter 2010
                 EJK=LMG=GEKL                                                                                                                                                                        GLUE   Winter 2010   21
                          H   is picture sits on a coffee table next to the couch in the living
                              room where he used to relax and watch TV every night before
                          going to sleep.
                          The youngish man stares at me every time I walk into the house;
                          his eyes are xed. It’s been a while since I’ve actually seen him –
                          the heart attack that killed him in June 2009, just two weeks shy
                          of Father’s Day, changed this family’s life forever.

                              It was random. e kind of out-of-the-blue that leaves you feel-         Howard, a psychotherapist and professor of psychology at the
                          ing empty. My dad, Joe, was only 43 years old and, in my mind,             University of Ottawa. “People think that if they can just work out
                          not ready to leave us – a feeling that’s never completely gone away.       the situation with some higher being, that that’s ok. It’s all about
                              I remember the call from Niagara General Hospital with endur-          ‘what ifs.’”
                          ing detail – surprisingly.                                                    We had to wait four days to see him because of the autopsy
                              “Hello, my name is Dr. Velji from Niagara General, who am I            and standard police investigation into the cause of death. I had
                          speaking with?” he asked.                                                  myself convinced that the dead could come back to life simply by
                              “Patrick... I’m his son. What’s going on? I’m trying to nd a way       thinking it.
                          to get down there as soon as possible,” I replied.                            “For some people it’s a matter of control,” says Dr. Howard. “We
                                                                                                                                                                                                   “Most of us want to see the world as       we immigrated to Canada almost 24 years           I had myself
                                                                                                                                                                                                predictable, ordered and fair,” says Chris    ago, leaving them behind.
                              “I’m afraid I have some bad news, Patrick. Your father didn’t          always try and change situations if we don’t like them.”                                                                                                                                   convinced that
                                                                                                                                                                                                Davis, a professor at Carleton University’s      Friends can be helpful in situations
                          make it. e heart attack was too much for him.”                                 “To achieve acceptance and begin the grieving process, they                                                                                                                            the dead could
                                                                                                                                                                                                school of psychology. “And when some-         that require the delicacy of dealing with
                              “What?!” I burst out, almost screaming at him for suggesting           need to do some kind of viewing,” says Gilles Sauvé, funeral direc-
                          the idea.                                                                  tor at the Orleans location of Kelly Funeral Homes on why people
                                                                                                                                                                                                thing bizarre happens, it’s unsettling. We    grief; but there is no substitute for family.     come back to
                                                                                                                                                                                                search for meaning to make sure the world     Handling the grief isn’t the same when            life simply by
                              “I’m so sorry to have to tell you like this, if you need any...” he    like to see their loved ones post-mortem. “It’s traditional. Most
                                                                                                                                                                                                is OK.”                                       you’re missing a vital core of your sup-
                          continued. I didn’t hear the rest; I slumped over against the wall,        people are visual and it helps them begin the process.”                                                                                                                                    thinking it.
                                                                                                                                                                                                   While my family waited for the body        port system.
                          emotions and thoughts clouding my mind, phone on the ground.                  As an adolescent, grief can be harder for us to deal with.
                                                                                                                                                                                                to arrive we had plenty of time to “search       “A close-knit family is a great support
                              My mom and brothers knew right away. I could see them crying in           Rebecca Abrams, an award-winning British journalist who lost
                                                                                                                                                                                                for meaning,” as the psychologists would      network,” says Howard. But she maintains
                          the background, but my mind started blacking out my surroundings.          her father and step-father in her youth, wrote in her book When
                                                                                                                                                                                                have it. e term was coined by Austrian        that family can also be disadvantageous to
                              I was burdened with questions: Was this real? How was it pos-          Parents Die: “ ere simply is not enough time, energy, or emo-
                                                                                                                                                                                                neurologist and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl    the grieving process.
                          sible? What did this mean? What would happen next? How would               tional strength to cope with everything.”
                                                                                                                                                                                                who argued that the search for meaning is        “An estranged family can be really dif-
                          it impact us?                                                                 She continues to explain that “grieving becomes a struggle” im-
                                                                                                                                                                                                an important part of grief, helping us come     cult to deal with,” explains Dr. Howard.
                              There can’t be a worse feeling than dealing with a death –             pacted by the social world that adolescents live in.
                                                                                                                                                                                                to terms with something that doesn’t make     “Sometimes they can be negative to the
                          especially that of someone I call “essential” because they are                In Abrams’ research, she found that counsellors working with
                                                                                                                                                                                                much sense – death.                           process. Especially if the will is contentious
                          so integral to your mental, physical and emotional well-being.             bereaved young people noted a disconnection from their peer
                                                                                                                                                                                                   “People are trying to understand death     it might create an inappropriate situation.”
                          The confusion, anger, guilt, denial, and emotional pain are                groups because the chances were signi cantly lower that some-
                                                                                                                                                                                                in a world that makes sense,” says Dr.           For four days all I noticed was the sun
                          catastrophic.                                                              one in their immediate social network had experienced a similar
                                                                                                                                                                                                Davis. “Many times there are no explana-      going down and the moon coming up.
                                  e loss impacts you on a feral level; the grief makes you insane.   situation.
                                                                                                                                                                                                tions. People will go for years trying to        We edged closer to the wake. Funeral
                                  e rst day a er he passed, I kept thinking it wasn’t real, that        Grief is one of the few hardships incongruous with human un-
                                                                                                                                                                             SUBMITTED PHOTOS

                                                                                                                                                                                                  gure it out.”                               preparations and burial arrangements had
                          he hadn’t died; maybe trying to convince myself that if I truly be-        derstanding. e common belief is that people don’t talk about
                                                                                                                                                                                                   Friends were always around for that        been nalized.
                          lieved those insane thoughts his death would be undone – a mod-            death because it’s a social and cultural taboo but that’s just a con-
                                                                                                                                                                                                four-day span. Unfortunately, our extend-           e whole process was surreal. It felt like
                          ern day Lazarus.                                                           venient excuse. We don’t talk about death because we can’t under-
                                                                                                                                                                                                ed family was unable to be with us because    I was caught in a time vacuum. All the days
                              “It’s a basic human reaction to a crisis situation,” says Dr. Terry    stand it and we can’t control it.

22   Winter 2010   GLUE                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          GLUE   Winter 2010   23
                          All the days were the same; I
                          was stuck in neutral, waiting to
                          say my nal goodbyes to him
                          before I could start moving on.

                                           were the same; I was stuck in neutral, waiting to say my nal good-
                                           byes to him before I could start moving on.
                                                  e day of the wake came. It was a ursday. A sombre urs-
                                           day. Cloudy, but hot. irty degrees without a trace of blue.
                                              I woke up and felt nauseous as I started getting dressed.
                                              I knew the day ahead was going to be long and tiring – both
                                           physically and even more so emotionally. But no amount of men-
                                           tal preparation would have been enough get me through it.
                                                  e funeral home had arranged for a limousine to pick up my
                                           two younger brothers, Joseph and Roderick, my mom, Marie,
                                           and myself.
                                              We slowly ambled along the streets of east-end Ottawa. A mo-
                                           torcade of friends anked the “ rst family.”
                                                  e drive wasn’t long enough. I was starting to breakdown at
                                           the thought of seeing him and we hadn’t even arrived at the fu-
                                           neral home. I had no time to compose myself.
                                                  e funeral directors assured us that we’d have at least an hour
                                           alone with him before the doors would be opened for everyone
                                           else to pay their respects.
                                              We walked in to the funeral home. Accordion doors were
                                           closed on both sides of the amber-toned room.
                                              I was caught in a twilight zone. I wanted to keep looking at the
                                           furniture and avoid the whole thing altogether, but I also desper-
                                           ately wanted to see him.
                                              My feelings at that moment couldn’t have been any further
                                           apart on the spectrum.
                                              My stomach was turning. My jaw was locked, hands balled
                                           into sts.
                                              I looked down to the other end of the room and there he was,
                                           just lying there in his wooden throne. Flowers painted out the
                                           walls behind him.
                                              I think I yelped, like dogs do when they are hurt. It felt like my
                                           heart was trying to ght its way out of me because it was beating
                                           so fast. And there he was. Not moving. Not sitting up. Not smiling.
                                           Nothing. Just nothing. Empty.
                                              I tried not to be overwhelmed. But it was impossible. I don’t
                                           even know why I tried in the rst place.
                                              I walked deliberately towards him. I had planned to say hi to
                                           him, to say anything at all. But when I got close, I couldn’t talk. My
                                           breathing got deeper and deeper. My eyes were pooling with tears.
                                              All my senses were working overtime. But I couldn’t talk. I
                                           could think about saying hi to him, but my brain couldn’t execute
                                           the function. It hurt too much.
                                               I’d waited four days to talk to him, to see him, touch him, and
                                           be with him. And now that I was there, in the moment I had wait-
                                           ed for, my brain was overwhelmed. e grief and sadness were
                                           too much.
                                              I kept expecting him to move; not really thinking about it,
                                           simply hoping that he would. I was watching his chest, hoping
                                           that it would rise and fall with the rhythm of human breath. But
                                           nothing happened.
                                              I was willing myself to believe that if I thought even harder
                                           about him breathing, about his chest heaving up and down, that it
                                           would. But it didn’t. And it never would. "  !

24   Winter 2010   GLUE                                                                                             GLUE   Winter 2010   2
                         The man that changed the ground beef scene has lots more up his
                         sleeve. There’s no stopping Ion Aimers, the brain behind Ottawa’s
                         beloved burger bistro The Works.


2   Winter 2010   GLUE                                                          GLUE   Winter 2010   27
                   It seems perfectly poetic.
                             O a quiet dirt road a short jog out-            taurant rst came to him long before that business on a roster dominated by tech and
                          side Navan, there is a tree-lined laneway.         small New Edinburgh location grilled its consulting companies.
                          At the head of the column of gravel sits a           rst patty, but it took years of meticulous     Another one of Aimer’s mould-breaking
                          cozy, wooden house. Inside, the lone resi-         planning before he made the leap.             accomplishments dates back to January
                          dent, Ion Aimers, rests comfortably on                  “ e burger concept had been in my 2008, when he won the title of Restaura-
                          the couch, sipping from his white tea cup.         mind for 20 years before it came to frui- teur of the Year at the ORHMA’s Ottawa
                              e warm morning sun bathes Aimers and           tion,” admits Aimers. In his youth, the Restaurant Awards. e owner of a burger
                          the room, as a tall grandfather clock stands       Montreal-born teenager was known to joint makes for a somewhat unlikely re-
                          guard above all other furniture. e hands           host dinner parties for his friends, where cipient, considering that recent winners
                          on its ancient face sit still, long retired from   he’d serve burgers to his beer-guzzling include the elite of Ottawa ne-dining, like
                          their duty of keeping time. But Aimers him-        guests. “Very few 18-year-olds have din- the owners of Black Dog Bistro and Beckta
                          self is far from o -duty, and time is far from     ner parties,” he says. “Most have ‘Let’s get Dining & Wine. With growing revenue and
                          stilled. e tranquility is broken by the beep       drunk’ parties. But I would provide food the attention of the community, Aimers was
                          of a cell phone. Over and over again.                rst and use my friends as guinea pigs.”     proving himself to be an unstoppable force.
                             Two of the morning’s phone calls elicit             FROM THERE, Aimers continued to              BUT EVERYTHING came to a startling
                          “Oh dears” from Aimers within seconds.             think of the future, while planning his halt that April, when Aimers su ered a
                          Yet he remains surprisingly at ease through        approach with tremendous deliberation. massive cardiac arrest. Fortunately, the fa-

                          it all, clearly accustomed to the fast pace.       Stints owning and managing other restau- ther of two had decided to go to the hos-
                          “It’s just Monday at the restaurants,” he ex-
                          plains by way of apology before taking yet
                          another call.
                             For Ion Aimers, it’s onwards and up-
                          wards, always. As the owner and founder
                          of e Works, a chain of o -beat gourmet
                          hamburger bistros, Aimers is continu-
                          ously moving forward. e Ottawa start-
                                                                             rants bought him time
                                                                             as he continued to
                                                                             develop his ideas for
                                                                                 e Works. “To me,
                                                                             if you’re going to put
                                                                             together a concept-
                                                                                                            The burger concept available quickly when
                                                                                                          had been in my mind Aimersthe found life-
                                                                             type business like e for 20 years before it just lucky because they
                                                                             Works, you’ve got to came to fruition.
                                                                                                                                 “              pital that day because
                                                                                                                                                he wasn’t feeling well,
                                                                                                                                                so emergency care was

                                                                                                                                                less on
                                                                                                                                                             oor. “I was

                                                                                                                                                did have to de brillate
                                                                                                                                                                             ve years, taking e Works not just outside
                                                                                                                                                                           Ottawa, but outside the province as well.
                                                                                                                                                                              “I have a plan,” says Aimers. “But that plan
                                                                                                                                                                           is more about people than it is about money
                                                                                                                                                                           or location, because I feel the concept would
                                                                                                                                                                                                                             his sta blame the location for the proj-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                             ect’s downfall. Roost was built inside e
                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Works’ Orleans location, with the two
                                                                                                                                                                                                                             sharing a kitchen and only a wall dividing
                                                                                                                                                                                                                             the two dining areas.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               back down if the risks slightly outweigh
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               the advantages, he will err on the side of
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               taking the risk.”
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  EVEN IF taking chances means poten-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               tially failing, Aimers still comes out ahead,
                          up is one of the fastest growing companies         hit every detail,” he                                              me back to life, hit me    sit well anywhere.” With that in mind, Aim-             e chicken and ribs were forced to         Venturing         believing that every defeat comes with
                          in the city, and Aimers has no intention           explains. “If you for-                                             with the paddles,” he      ers is currently negotiating with a group from    compete with the already-acclaimed burg-        outside the       a lesson. “ ere’s absolutely no point in
                          of slowing down anytime soon. But not              get the details and you                                            says with a chuckle.       Montreal, which ts with his desire to keep        ers. In the end, most guests preferred to eat                     looking back unless there’s something to be
                                                                                                                                                                           his initial expansion within reach.               on e Works’ side, choosing the tried and
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             world of
                          everything he touches turns to gold.               only think within your own realm of what         Although typical of Aimers’ non-serious                                                                                                                          learned from it,” he says. “ erefore, learn
                          He’s had his share of setbacks and ops,            you know, then it’s not all there.”           attitude, his light-hearted jokes about the        In Ottawa, Aimers is treating Hunt Club        true over the unfamiliar chicken. Admit-        burgers may       from your mistakes or what’s happened to
                          but continues to plough forward; lessons               But everything is there at e Works, incident make it easy to overlook its sever-          and eventually Barrhaven to the world of          ting defeat, Aimers closed Roost in Sep-        seem brave        you and try to move forward.”
                          learned, ready to tackle something new             from the factory-style décor (featuring ity. Having spent ve days in a coma, he is            gourmet burgers. While a Barrhaven loca-          tember and expanded e Works’ dining             for Aimers              is attitude can be slightly tiring for
                          and take a risk.                                   walls of re-purposed brick, strewn with very fortunate to not have sustained any              tion has yet to be secured, Bank Street in        area. “I thought it’d be a good idea to have                      those trying to keep up with Aimers. “It
                             AIMERS’ BEGINNINGS in the ground                random knobs and faucets that stick out type of brain damage or permanent injury.             Hunt Club was made home to e Works’               two restaurants in one building, but appar-     right now, just
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               can make you a bit crazy,” jokes Connolly.
                          beef business began modestly in 2001,              haphazardly) to the zany names of menu As he puts it, he’s “still the same old goof-          sixth location mid-December.                      ently no one else did,” he says.                months after      “It’s always about the next thing.” Fortu-
                          when he rst opened e Works in a tiny               items (like Steamrollers, a stu ed tor- ball,” with just a few slight changes.                   HAVING ALREADY relocated his original             However, the Roost chicken always got        shutting down     nately, she’s usually able to keep up with
                          bricked space in New Edinburgh. What the           tilla appetizer) to the lightbulb-shaped            e 51-year-old now makes a point           New Edinburgh shop to a bigger space in           raving reviews from the customers who           Roost, his        the fast pace as the couple spend time do-
                          restaurant lacked in physical space, it made       salt and pepper shakers that sit atop the of exercising daily and watches his diet            Manor Park, Aimers now has plans to re-           were bold enough to forego e Works and                            ing their favourite things, like listening to
                          up for in originality. Decked out as an in-        iron-branded wooden tables of the dining closely, which meant saying goodbye to               turn to that small building for a new adven-      try something new - so much so that Aim-        experiment
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               music, shopping and travelling. “He is the
                          dustrial factory, e Works o ered Ottawa            room. Nothing about the restaurant was the Hamburger Mary, his favourite from                 ture, hoping for some of the same magic he        ers is now working on nding a new home          with chicken.     most fun person on the planet,” she says
                          a unique dining experience, serving he y           accidental, but rather exactly how Aimers        e Works. Named a er a restaurant in          had there nine years ago. Only this time, he’s    for Roost downtown, believing the right                           about the quirky man who unabashedly
                          burgers topped with every whacky thing             intended it to be.                            Vancouver that Aimers visited in 1981, the      banking on a di erent product: pizza.             location is the only missing piece.        is                     grooves to Elton John and Celine Dion.
                          from peanut butter to Kra Dinner. Suc-                    is detail-oriented approach is a large burger comes topped with fried egg, ched-          Slotted to open early this year, Zazaza will   philosophy proved itself three months ago,                        “He just really loves his life.”
                          cess propelled the business forward quick-         part of why e Works thrives today. “ e dar cheese and strips of bacon – all taboo             serve gourmet pizza in a style similar to e       when Aimers helped nance the reloca-                                    ere’s no argument there. “It would be
                          ly, with e Works now present in nearly             failure rate in our industry is very high,” toppings for Aimers these days.                   Works. Although Zazaza’s concept will be          tion of haute chefs Simon and Ross Fraser’s                       criminal for me to look at what I do as a job,”
                          each part of the city. And as Aimers boosts        says Mike Ziola, Ottawa region president         He’s also chosen to work on a reduced        very di erent from        e Works’ industrial     kitchen to a bigger space on Beechwood                            says Aimers. “I absolutely adore getting up
                          his restaurant tally from ve to nine in the        of the Ontario Restaurant Hotel & Motel schedule, although it barely slows him                image, guests can expect to see similar cre-      Avenue. So far, the investment has paid                           every morning and doing what I do.”
                          span of a few months, including venturing          Association. “Some people don’t plan it out down. “He’s the type of guy who gets out          ativity in everything from décor to menu          o , with the brothers feeding Fraser Café’s                          But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have oth-
                          beyond the safe borders of burgers, there’s        as much as others, but the amount that you of bed running,” says Evelyn Cheesbrough,          terminology. “We’ve learned what works            packed dining room night a er night.                              er ambitions beyond the restaurant world. “I
                          no shortage of momentum behind the                 plan ahead will impact your success rate.”    who works closely with Aimers in            e   with burgers and what works in Ottawa,”              Re-opening Roost might mean taking                             have a lot of things I want to do. I want to
                          hamburger king.                                        So far, Aimers has de nitely made a Works’ head o ce, a converted two-bed-                says Jeremy Strong, e Works’ cleverly titled      yet another risk, but that is something                           walk from Kathmandu to the base of Everest.
                             Yet, Aimers’ continual drive onwards            strong case for the value of this approach. room apartment above the Glebe restau-            Commander-in-Beef. “Now it’s just a matter        the serial entrepreneur has proven him-                           I want to canoe down the Amazon. I want to
                          doesn’t mean he charges ahead carelessly.          With chain-wide sales of $8.5 million rant. “ e amount of information that he                 of seeing if that can translate to pizza.”        self to be more than comfortable with. “If                        sail or row across the Atlantic.”
                          In a seeming contradiction, he balances his        last scal year, e Works has once again can process in a day is unbelievable.”                    Venturing outside the realm of burg-           he believes in something, with an edu-                               True to form, Aimers has big plans for
                          forward focus with a well-developed ability        landed itself a spot on the Ottawa Business      WITH BIG PLANS on the horizon, Aimers        ers seems brave for Aimers right now,             cated eye, he’ll assess the risks,” says Pam                      the future. Whether it be plans for the day
                          to consider all angles and plan accordingly.       Journal’s list of fastest growing companies, is about to push himself even further. He has    just months a er shutting down Roost,             Connolly, Aimers’ girlfriend of more                              or plans for his life, there’s only one way:
                              e thought of a gourmet hamburger res-          where it stands out as the only food-related set a goal to have 50 restaurants open within    his experiment with chicken. Aimers and           than a year. “But whereas most might                              onwards and upwards, always. !

28   Winter 2010   GLUE                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                GLUE    Winter 2010   29
                      The journey to post-secondary education can
                      be a treacherous one for Aboriginal youth. This
                      is the view from the passenger seat.

  FULL PAGE           Story and photos by Stuart Thomson

    FC AD

                                                     GLUE   Winter 2010   31
                                                                                                                                                                                       Youtube. Money for the repairs was re-allocated a er the GST cut       liking.
                                                                                                                                                                                       was proposed and the community still lacks a proper schoolhouse.          I didn’t know this at the time, but it was in the papers the day
                                                                                                                                                                                          “I think my reserve is the most ghetto, out of everyone in the      a er I got back.
                                                                                                                                                                                       class,” Natacha said to me once. Matter-of-factly, just like nearly          e rst thing that greets you in Barriere Lake is a house com-
                                                                                                                                                                                       everything she says is. She was 19 years old at the time and shock-    pletely gutted by re. e windows are blown out and the roof has
                                                                                                                                                                                       ingly short of bullshit.                                               collapsed into the living room. A doghouse sits on the front lawn
                                                                                                                                                                                             at is one of the bleak pictures, but Mary, a wise old hand in    and a “no trespassing” sign broadcasts its pale irony to passers-by.
                                                                                                                                                                                       the class, summed it up succinctly for me. “Some of the reserves             e community is desolate and nearly empty. Windows and
                                                                                                                                                                                       are worse than others.”                                                doors are boarded up and dogs roam the streets.
                                                                                                                                                                                          I am comforted by moderation and soothed by milquetoast                As we le , Christine pointed to the stop sign and said, matter-
                                                                                                                                                                                       even-handedness. Somehow this assessment stuck with me, like           of-factly, “those are gunshots.” e sign has four neatly punched-
                                                                                                                                                                                       old wisdom. It was all I really had in my mind when Christine          out holes right in the middle, surrounding the word.
                                                                                                                                                                                       relented eventually.                                                      KITCISAKIK, THE SECOND place we visited, has a large com-
                                                                                                                                                                                          “So you’re really gonna know me, eh? You’re gonna see where         munal shower area standing gra ti-ridden in the middle. As we
                                                                                                                                                                                       my family lives,” she said. I could see how uncomfortable the idea     approached it, Christine warned me that a fast getaway may be in
                                                                                                                                                                                       made her.                                                              the cards.
                                                                                                                                                                                          She told me not to judge her because her parents “live in a du-        “I used to see a guy from here. He turned out to have a wife
                                                                                                                                                                                       plex” and don’t have that much money.                                  and kids.”
                                                                                                                                                                                          I thought about telling her that when I moved to Canada, my            I was already feeling like some kind of horrible voyeur and this
                                                                                                                                                                                       parents typi ed the poor immigrant. We lived in a co-op in Scar-       only made it worst. I had been taking pictures in Barriere Lake,
                                                                                                                                                                                       borough, Ont. and I still remember the screaming battles, the dra-     and suddenly the lurid awfulness of it all started to sink in. Chris-
                                                                                                                                                                                       matic tantrums of the people who lived above us. But what the hell     tine grabbed my camera and kept snapping.
                                                                                                                                                                                       did that matter? I lived a couple of years of poverty and my parents      “Last time I was home, it was because my cousin had commit-
                                                                                                                                                                                       skillfully shielded me from it.                                        ted suicide. Her friend too,” she said, seemingly out of nowhere.
                                                                                                                                                                                          CHRISTINE PICKED ME up in her little car, with her baby in the         Later, she went on to tell me that the friend who had killed her-
                                                                                                                                                                                       backseat, and we made our way to Val d’Or. She had a tour of the       self was pregnant.
                                                                                                                                                                                       reserves that were on the way planned. She kept asking me what my         CHRISTINE PICKS UP a lot of hitchhikers. Back when we were
                                                                                                                                                                                       expectations were, what I hoped to see and gain from it all.           in class together she used to go home to see her parents by hitch-
                                                                                                                                                                                          I didn’t have an answer. Part of me was reluctant to say that it    ing rides and she is forever paying back the debt of those li s from
                                                                                                                                                                                       was just curiosity. About her, about where she was from, about In-     strangers.
                                                                                                                                                                                       dian reserves and about Canada
                                                                                                                                                                                       in general.
                                                                                                                                                                                          We began our tour in Barriere

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     9:;<$ =>55$?$=455 $@:.A$B:C!D
                                                                                                                                                                                       Lake, a reserve that had been
                                                                                                                                                                                       in the news a er Indian A airs
                                                                                                                                                                                       Minister Chuck Strahl imposed
                                                                                                                                                                                       elections on the community. A
                                                                                                                                                                                       leadership struggle had lingered
                                                                                                                                                                                       on too long for the government’s
    CHRISTINE             or an abrupt shortage of chilli at the school cafeteria, I loved her   graduation ceremony.                                                                                                                 1.%2345+6..%#31&+73*3
 KING IS a friend of
 mine. I met her in
 Aboriginal Studies
 at Algonquin Col-
 lege where she was
 a nervous little re-
 brand with black,
 dagger-point eyes
 and righteous anger
 that thumped out of
 her like bullets from
                          battering indignation.
                                e Aboriginal Studies program lasted a year and we became
                          fast friends in that time. I’m still amazed by her will, her resolve
                          and, most of all, her heart-breaking humanity and all the foibles
                          and aws along with it.
                             CHRISTINE CAME TO OTTAWA to escape a lot of things. I get
                          the impression that there are things that I will never hear about,
                          but among the ones I’m aware of are drugs, varied relationships
                          and an all-encompassing ‘badness’ that she leaves up to my imagi-
                             We stuck it out in Aboriginal Studies together, serving as each
                                                                                                       e stories spread through gossiping classmates, as they do in
                                                                                                 any classroom: someone had family problems, someone had to
                                                                                                 move back home to work, poor Raymond’s house burnt down when
                                                                                                 his kids found some matches. (“ ey’ve moved in with their mom’s
                                                                                                 mom.” “ eir mom?” “Are they still together?” “Not anymore.”)
                                                                                                    Little bits of gossip that, in the midst of the slow trickle of hear-
                                                                                                 say, didn’t really seem all that extraordinary. It was at the gradua-
                                                                                                 tion ceremony that it really hit home. Where was everyone?
                                                                                                    WE TALKED A LOT of reserve life in Aboriginal Studies and it
                                                                                                 frustrated me that I’d never even visited a reserve. It seemed like a
                                                                                                 pretty serious part of Canada for me to be missing.
                                                                                                                                                                              I only had the

                                                                                                                                                                            Canadian media to in-
                                                                                                                                                                            form me before taking





 an AK-47.                others’ crutch. She got pregnant halfway through the year and I           Before taking Aboriginal Studies I only had the Canadian me-                                                                      G+*%+3;*2&'(3I,*93BBB3
    She erupted in-       got drunk halfway through most days of the year. I think she spot-     dia to inform me, and it has painted a fairly bleak picture of re-                                                                   A<,%:3G$%&'(3J3G5)),%K
 discriminately, like     ted my problem, for what it was, before anyone else. I used to g-      serve life.
                                                                                                                                                                            Aboriginal Studies, and
 a poorly handled
 ri e, at whatever in-
                          ure back then that she just knew me really well, but the truth was
                          that she just knew addictions really well. She’d seen a lot of them.
                                                                                                    Reserves, when they make the news, are either ragged and run-
                                                                                                 down or the home to strife. It’s either Oka or Attawapiskat. Riots
                                                                                                                                                                            it has painted a fairly                                   =7,3L9+&)*+,3?.99,(,3J3
 justice she managed
 to happen upon.
                          Had one or two as well, from what I can guess.
                             We watched our class dwindle in size as the year rolled along.
                                                                                                 or rigor mortis.
                                                                                                    My friend Natacha is from Attawapiskat and I remember her
                                                                                                                                                                            bleak picture of
 Whether her target       Sometimes there were only a handful of us in class, as few as          matter-of-factly telling me that the schoolhouse in the town is un-        reserve life.                                              : G G !D $ L < ! C < 9 $ 1 L B :D -
 was the sordid his-      three or four people. A class that began with about 30 students,       usable and that the children tumble into an asbestos-ridden por-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 ! ! !" # $ % & ' ( ) * # + , % # - . / # " 0 . )
 tory of Canadian         all seemingly eager to learn, some proud to the point of beaming       table every morning. Sure enough, you can watch Charlie Angus,
 residential schools      even to be there, ended up with about nine of us on stage at the       the MP for the area, thundering into the government about it on

32   Winter 2010   GLUE                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      GLUE   Winter 2010   33
    Along the way she pointed out spots where she’d
 been stranded, where people had lectured her
                                                         get out of her. We made an attempt to get to the
                                                         cemetery where members of her family are buried,
                                                                                                               driveway at the King house, a commotion broke
                                                                                                               out behind the sliding doors at the front of the resi-
                                                                                                                                                                                                      Speed dating is the newest dating craze in our fast-
                                                                                                                                                                                                      paced world of drive-thrus and high-speed internet.
                                                                                                                                                                                                      But is it a waste of time or worth your while? One
                                                                                                                                                                                                      young twenty-something nds out...

 about a-pretty-little-girl-like-her-hitchhiking and     but the mud was deep and wet and we couldn’t risk     dence. Christine’s parents came hurtling out, o er-
 all of the best places to eat along the way. I think    getting stuck.                                        ing to carrying things, shaking my hand, making
 she’s had a burger in just about every little mom n’       Some of the houses in Lac Simon seem brand         jokes and lavishing attention on baby Maverik.
 pop restaurant on the road to Val d’Or. ey were         new and the community sports a massive new               I was herded quickly into the house and a plate
 all really good, except for the one joint where the     school. But there was nobody on the streets and       of something delicious was in front of me within a

 sta are racist against Indians.                         there’s an ominous ghost-town feel. People draw       minute or two.
    WE ENDED UP in Lac Simon, where Christine’s          their curtains as you drive by.                          Christine’s sisters waited patiently for their par-
 family is from. e atmosphere in the car got dark-             is is where Christine’s cousin committed sui-   ents to stop fussing before commandeering their
 er and she clammed up again.                            cide. A lot of bad things happen here.                sister and scurrying o with her. I spoke to her
    “A lot of bad things happen here,” was all I could      AS WE PULLED into Val d’Or and arrived in the      minutes later and she was already bursting with
                                                                                                                     e house heaved with activity and I was quite
                                                                                                               content to be a y on the wall. I watched televi-
                                                                                                               sion quietly while the King family did its thing.
                                                                                                               Christine’s mom commands the house, the con-
                                                                                                                 dent matriarch reminiscent of Angela in Frank
                                                                                                               McCourt’s masterpiece. She easily assumes that
                                                                                                               benevolent, motherly authoritarianism that seems
                                                                                                               necessary in houses stricken with poverty.
                                                                                                                  She kept telling me how her pork roast was
                                                                                                               nothing special and I kept telling her that it was the
                                                                                                               best meal I’d had in months, at least since I’d last
                                                                                                               visited my own mother. We were probably both
                                                                                                               being truthful.

                                                                                                                  Soon the girls were all smoking outside on the
                                                                                                               porch, in the supernatural darkness of the cold Val
                                                                                                               d’Or night. e glow of the autumn sunset had ex-                Story by Krista Maier
                                                                                                               pired and a pale darkness was collapsing amid the
                                                                                                               revelry of reunion in the King house. ere was an
                                                                                                               easy contentedness about the place. It struck me
                                                                                                                                                                        Photos by Maureen Lamothe
                                                                                                               that, if I were only driving by, none of this could
                                                                                                               have occurred to me.
                                                                                                                  TO ME, THIS is the face on the statistics. It’s
                                                                                                               hard to view a suicide rate that’s eight times the
                                                                                                               average without a certain feeling of despair. How
                                                                                                               much does that amplify when you have heard the
                                                                                                               story of the teenaged girl who killed herself with
                                                                                                               her friend, letting the baby inside her su ocate and
                                                                                                               perish with her? " !

34   Winter 2010   GLUE                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      GLUE   Winter 2010   35
                                                   with God that as long as my teeth made                   e concept of speed dating was con-         tended to do at every booth. We gazed in-         though she has seen cases where they do.
                                                   no contact with the asphalt I would attend         ceived by Rabbi Yaacor Deyo of Los An-           tently at one another as we talked about             When it comes to love at rst sight,
                                                   church on Sunday.                                  geles as a way for young, Jewish singles to      wine, laughing and joking.                        Payne o ers an old saying: “Don’t judge a
                                                      I looked down at my out t: tight black          meet and potentially marry. e rst event             To an outsider looking in, it would have       book by its cover because preconceived no-
                                                   skirt, black stilettos and a leather jacket. I     took place at Pete’s Café in Beverly Hills,      appeared as though we had some chemistry.         tions can be incredibly misleading. Physi-
                                                   was freezing. But at the prior mercy of four       Calif., in 1998. Since then it has spread all       DR. KIM PAYNE, C. Psych studies                cal attraction can only get you so far.”
                                                   good friends, wine, make-up and mousse,            over the world as a revolutionary way for        sexual behaviour clinically and says there           SADLY, MY ATTRACTION to my blue-
                                                   I looked hot.                                      singles to meet.                                 is a wealth of non-verbal behaviour that          eyed date halted immediately when he
                                                      FIVE MINUTES LATER in the darkened                    e match-making craze has swept             can identify subtle cues of interest. A close     suddenly bared his teeth in a twisted grin,
                                                   con nes of the Collection, I smiled and in-        North America, the United Kingdom and            forward lean, mutual eye contact, a smiling       while referencing his dislike for getting
                                                   troduced myself to my rst date. e table            Australia, and according to, con-    facial expression, an open posture, gestures      ‘gremlin’ teeth from red wine. Ugh. We
                                                   was small and round, tting two sets of             tinues to gain popularity in China, Japan,       such as head nods, a brief touch or an up-        would never make it.
                                                   hands and two wine glasses just comfort-           Korea, Hong Kong and Singapore.                  ward pitch in someone’s voice, are all indi-         TODAY COMPANIES LIKE
                                                   ably. To the right of me hung wall art con-           Large speed dating companies cater to         cators of attraction.                             and specialize in speed dating.
     THE ONLY THING                                taining splashes of orange and red with a          metropolises like Toronto, Vancouver, Mon-             ese cues cannot predict a successful        As the popularity increases, so does the
 that was going to cure this situation was         black silhouette of a woman. I crossed my          treal, Calgary but most cities also have local   relationship, but they are visual hints that      level of specialization. ere are speed dat-

 some liquid courage.                              legs and breathed easily knowing that talk-        events. e Single Option, an Ottawa-based         one can be on the look-out for when meet-         ing sessions for tall men, university edu-
    I tipped my glass back and gulped the          ing was my forte.                                  company o ers speed dating events for $78        ing someone new.                                                         cated singles, Chris-
 last of the red wine hoping for the famil-            “Tell me about your...”                        which includes a spin dating membership          “In speed dating,                                                        tians, tness bu s
 iar tingly sensation to sweep over my body.          But before I could nish my date asked           to speed dating events. Speed dating events      you have to make a       Sadly, my attraction                            and gays and lesbi-
    e walls of the quaint lounge suddenly          me what high school I went to.                     cost $49 for members.                            choice,” said Payne.                                                     ans, to name a few.
   ushed a warm crimson against the glow              Turns out he was born and raised in Sut-           BY THE DING OF THE FIRST BELL, I              “And you may be              to my blue-eyed                             Meeting the right
 of the opaque lights and it was then that I       ton, Ont., a mere 25 minutes from my home-         was eager to head to the next date. Because      limiting yourself                                                        people from special
 wondered if it was just me, or if someone         town. I suppose discovering our common             there were more women than men, how-             because some peo-                  date halted                           interest groups has
 had dimmed the lights.                            geography should have made me feel con-            ever, the ladies were stacked four-deep at       ple may have di -                                                        never been easier.
    Behind me sat a man so ly illuminated.         nected to him. But judging by his appear-          the bar, waiting to be rotated in at the bell.   culty communicat-         immediately when                                  Brushing up on
 Armed with a card and pen, I pivoted on a
 black stiletto and prepared myself for eight
                                                   ance, the high school I attended was prob-
                                                   ably not even built when he was a student. I’d
                                                                                                      While waiting for a re ll, I admired the
                                                                                                      sleek black wall units holding liquor bottles
                                                                                                                                                       ing their interest.”
                                                                                                                                                          One’s reasoning
                                                                                                                                                                                 he suddenly bared                              speed dating eti-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                quette is also made
 minutes of heaven. Or Hell.
    SPEED DATING. It’s as simple as it
                                                   estimate his current age at about 34. I’m 21.
                                                      Six minutes and counting.
                                                                                                      in all shapes and sizes, and had a moment
                                                                                                      to admire the romantic artwork hanging
                                                                                                                                                       for being attracted
                                                                                                                                                       to someone is very
                                                                                                                                                                                        his teeth in a                          easy with the use of
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                the Internet. Many
                                                                                                                                                                                  twisted grin, while
 sounds. You date someone – speedily – be-
 fore rotating to another date. It’s character-
 ized by a socially awkward scene where
 eligible singles gather together hoping to
 meet the love of their lives: women search-
 ing for Mr. Right and men hoping to whisk
 a woman away with the promise of long
 walks on the beach. Each date lasts three to
                                                      MY MOM MET MY DAD at her friend
                                                   Nancy’s apartment. He rented the base-
                                                   ment with a buddy. A er they rst met,
                                                   my dad would ask to borrow a cup of sugar
                                                   from Nancy only when my mother visited;
                                                   a timeless love story. Fast-forward 23 years
                                                   and if one is lucky enough to have time to
                                                   socialize, it usually involves a night at a bar.
                                                                                                      from the walls.
                                                                                                         I eyed my fresh glass of wine, swished
                                                                                                      it around and smelled its earthen aroma.
                                                                                                      So ly, I allowed my lips to touch the robust
                                                                                                      liquid and ignite my senses.
                                                                                                         Recharged, I was ready to move onto my
                                                                                                      second date.
                                                                                                         In the far back corner sat a man of slen-
                                                                                                                                                       dependent on cul-
                                                                                                                                                       ture, background,
                                                                                                                                                       personal history
                                                                                                                                                       and life experi-
                                                                                                                                                       ence, making it dif-
                                                                                                                                                         cult to pinpoint a
                                                                                                                                                       common variable
                                                                                                                                                       responsible       for
                                                                                                                                                                                      referencing his
                                                                                                                                                                                   dislike for getting
                                                                                                                                                                                      ‘gremlin’ teeth
                                                                                                                                                                                                              “                 websites o er tips
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                and      conversation
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                starters, even ques-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                tions to avoid, such
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                as ones that allude
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                to income and age
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                which could make a
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                date turn awkward
 eight minutes depending on the company               And bar-hopping can only get one so             der stature facing the window. His shirt         causing      chemis-           from red wine.                            quickly.
 and coordinator. At the sound of a bell, one      far, o en ending with beer goggles and             was a bright turquoise and as I sat down         try between two                                                             To avoid those
 set of people get up and rotate to the next ta-   regrets. us, the novelty of speed dating:          I was met with equally stunning blue eyes.       people. Some seek                                                        questions, rst-time

 ble. is continues until everyone has met.         the chance to meet several eligible singles           His posture was relaxed and open, mak-        partners with similar values while others         speed dater Cheryl Gingras of Ottawa
    While rotating around the room every-          in a short amount of time with few require-        ing me feel comfortable. Sitting on bar          are attracted to individuals who are simply       made a mental list of some questions she
 body has a score card and makes note of           ments other than good conversational               stools, I did not have to worry about my         unattainable. Contrary to popular belief, op-     was going to ask her date prior to the event.
 which partners if any, they would like to         skills and a pen – drinking, optional.             breasts resting on the table, the way they       posites do not necessarily attract, says Payne,   “If you leave it open, they end up asking
 get to know further. An exchange of e-mail
 addresses is only made the next day if two
 people are mutually interested in one an-
 other according to the score cards. When
 this happens the coordinator relays the
 contact information to both parties.
    How do I know? Simple. One night I le
 my inhibitions at the door and went.
    AT 7:25 P.M., ve minutes before I
 should have been mingling with eligible
 singles, I was still driving down York
 Street. Realizing there were no le turns
 at the corner of York and ByWard Market
 Street, I was forced to make a hasty exit
 from a friend’s car. As I peeled my bare
 legs o the warm leather seats and wob-
 bled out of the car, I made a quick bargain

36   Winter 2010   GLUE                                                                                                                                                                                                         GLUE   Winter 2010   37

                                                                                                                               Gingras attended speed dating for the rst
                                                                                                                               time together a er hearing how much fun a
                                                                                                                               mutual friend had.
                                                                                                                                  Both women are anti-online dating and
                                                                                                                               opted to try speed dating instead. By the
                                                                                                                               end of the night she picked four men, and
                                                                                                                               the next day received four matches. Seven-
                                                                                                                               ty per cent of the men at the event picked
                                                                                                                               her giving her elite status at, and
                                                                                                                               special entry into elite speed dating events.
                                                                                                                                  Her funniest recollection of the night
                                                                                                                               was when one of her dates asked what
                                                                                                                               some of her hobbies were. In response to
                                                                                                                               the same question, her date admitted he
                                                                                                                               was really boring and didn’t do anything.
                                                                                                                                  “You just have to go with an open mind
                                                                                                                               and go with the ow,” she said. “Go on a
                                                                                                                               second date, eight minutes is just a rst im-
                                                                                                                               pression,” she said laughing.
                                                                                                                                  AND SO, AFTER MY FINAL and un-
                                                                                                                               timed date, I said goodbye to all the ladies
                                                                                                                               I met that night looking for love, a hook-
                                                                                                                               up or just a friend. I passed my card to my
                                                                                                                               event coordinator knowing that I didn’t
                                                                                                                               check ‘yes’ to any of the guys I met, but

                                                                                                 “                             grinned at the hand-written ‘maybe’ I in-

                                                                                                                                 One date I had was
                                                                                                                               literally all gum and
                                                                                                                               no teeth. I was giggling
                                                                                                                               the entire time, but not

                                                                                                                               with him, at him.
                                                                                                                               cluded, hoping to get a vacation on a yacht
                                                                                                                               in the near future.

                                                                                                                                                                                 Stressed to
                                                                                                                                  I kept the other part of my card as a sou-
                                                                                                                               venir from a night of many rsts: speed dat-
                                                                                                                               ing, letting a friend near my eye with sharp

                                                                                                                               eyeliner, learning the true loathing I have
                          questions that put you on the spot,” she         headed to YukYuk’s to pursue his new career.        for panty lines thus going without –in a

                                                                                                                                                                                 the max
                          said. Gingras opted for a non-threatening           I dated someone else who worked in the           skirt, fearlessly speed dating sans wingman
                          question and asked her dates whether they        so ware business, but had nothing to talk           and being a con dent conversationalist. In
                          played guitar, because she loves guitarists.     about other than potty-training his puppy. I        the sheer awkwardness that the night had to
                             She found the speed dating awkward,           did try to see what kind of deal he could get       o er I collected my thoughts and stumbled
                          but admits it would have been worse if           me on Adobe InDesign so ware, though.               across a feeling of contentment despite being
                          she didn’t have good conversation starters.         Another guy fancied himself quite the            miles away from my comfort zone.
                          Overall, Gingras o ers a piece of advice for     catch and perhaps he was – for a mid-30-               I walked down the stairs of the very venue                                                  Being a student can be pretty
                          new speed daters: “Don’t go with high ex-        year-old. He was full of compliments, but           that I awkwardly stood in front of only two                                                    rough. As assignments pile up,
                          pectations, but look at it as a new way of       sealed his fate when he whipped out his             hours ago, praying for a bolt of lightning to
                          networking with people.”                         iPhone to show me his big yacht. If only he         strike me dead. Opening the door, a burst                                                      relationship problems arise, and
                             AND SO I FOCUSED on my networking             drove a Hummer, I could conclude he was             of cold air rushed against my warm skin,                                    Maureen Lamothe    life in general starts to get hec-
                          skills because even a er licking my wine         compensating for something.                         riding through my leather jacket and up my
                          glass dry four times, I still wasn’t attracted      My last date of the night was as interest-       back, sending my hair into a fury of waves.                                                    tic, sometimes it’s hard to keep
                                                                                                                                                                                 PHOTO BY NATHAN WILLARD

                          to anyone.                                       ing as a rock, and asked me what kind of               With the ominous glow of the sign be-                                                       up. Here are Glue’s top tips for
                             One date I had was literally all gum and      exercise I liked doing.                             hind me I pivoted on a black stiletto and
                                                                                                                                                                                                                              beating stress.
                          no teeth. I was giggling the entire time, but          e scary thing was, I had no bell to end it.   walked into the starless night gracefully ac-
                          not with him, at him.                               SARAH FISHER (name changed for pri-              cepting that an awkward date or two, can
                             By the end of the date he probably thought    vacy), on the other hand, scored four great         humble even the best and most determined
                          he was Ottawa’s next stand-up act, and likely    dates a er all the bells were rung. Fisher and      of the single and fabulous."  !

38   Winter 2010   GLUE                                                                                                                                                                                                                         GLUE   Winter 2010   39
   “YOU LOOK TIRED.”                              counter a threatening situation that we feel
   Not exactly the rst thing you want to          exceeds our coping abilities.                                                                                                                                                                                                     8. Cut temporary fixes.
hear a er a late-night cram session; espe-              at’s why it’s so important for students                                                                                                                                                                                      Ca eine, alcohol and tobacco are typi-                The most

cially a er all the co ees you drank and the      to quit sweating the small stu and help                                                                                                                                                                                         cally temporary xes that will only leave
music you blared to keep yourself awake.          their bodies cope with stress by changing the                                                                                                                                                                                   you worse for wear at the end of the day.       important thing
   But it’s pretty unavoidable because, as stu-   things they can control about their lifestyle.                                                                                                                                                                                  Again, it is a very individual perspective         to remember

                                                                                                     The Little
dents, we’re forced to deal with all sorts of                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     but be aware of your body. Know how
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     is that these
stressors, including balancing school, work,        1. Get 6-8 hours of sleep                                                                                                                                                                                                     much your body can handle without send-
relationships and planning for the future.          a night.                                                                                                                                                                                                                      ing you overboard.                              tips are general
      ere are also other subconscious levels         It’s a catch-22. You’re too stressed to

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    solutions and
of stress that we don’t even realize a ect        sleep, but you need enough rest in order to                                                                                                                                                                                       9. Make time for the things                     may not work
us. Like the last cranberry mu n being            cope with growing amounts of stress.
gone in the cafeteria, the new pimple that
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    you love.
                                                     Taylor advises that a regular bedtime                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           for everyone.
                                                                                                     That Could?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Make time for the things that are re-

sprouted up or our favourite sports team          routine can help students make the most of                                                                                                                                                                                      ally important to you. When you are doing               If you still
losing that championship game.                    their mattress hours. By creating a routine                                                                                                                                                                                     something you enjoy, you tend not to focus
   When combined, these factors can lead          before getting ready for bed, you’re giving                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            nd yourself
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  on the issues nagging at the back of your
to a pretty unhealthy lifestyle for students      your brain subtle cues that it’s time for bed.
– an almost inevitable outcome consider-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  mind. Anybody who brings joy into their          struggling with
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  lives deals with stress in an easier way; it
ing it is usually unadvisable to just forget                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        overwhelming
about that huge presentation or miss a few
                                                    2. Eat right.                                when people get that cranky, irritable, hun-                                                                                                                                     allows for balance in their lives.
                                                     Watching your diet is vital in helping gry phase mid-a ernoon.”                                                                                                                                                                                                                      feelings of
shi s at work.
                                                  your body deal with stress. Alcohol, caf-                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               stress, get
   However, high stress levels not only                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             10. Laugh.
                                                  feine, sugar and fats all strain your body’s
lead to feelings of tension or anxiousness                                                          3. Exercise.                                                                                                                                                                     Laughter really is the best medicine. It’s           help from
                                                  ability to cope. “When you have elevated
but can also cause headaches, ulcers, skin                                                          Stress produces a negative hormone                                            4. Be organized.                                                                                your body’s natural stress-release mecha-
                                                  stress levels in your body, there are a lot of                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    someone who
rashes, high blood pressure, hyper tension                                                       called cortisol, which increases blood sug-                                       Taylor advises planning your week                                                              nism. It is a proven way to relieve anxiety
                                                  toxic chemicals oating around,” says Jenni-                                                                                                                                    ever, Taylor warns that this is a very per-
and drug and alcohol abuse.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       can personalize
                                                  fer Brown, a dietician at Algonquin College. ar and blood pressure. According to Craig                                        ahead of time. An easy way of doing this is      sonal decision. “If it adds more stress than     in a positive way. Just doing something
   How we perceive stressful situations also
                                                      A diet with a balance of fruit and veg- Adams, head trainer at Ottawa’s End Result                                        to create a table to map out each day Sun-       a state of feeling calm, I’m not sure it would   pleasurable has been shown to trigger a            these tips for
plays a major role in overall health.
                                                  etables high in anti-oxidants (think bright Fitness, the best way to ght cortisol is by                                       day to Sunday. Taylor uses highlighters to       be worth it to somebody,” she says. “It can      better state of mind. Laughing is also high-
   “When people are feeling stress, it’s o en                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        your lifestyle.
                                                  colours), sh high in Omega-3 fats (think exercising.                                                                          colour-code activities according to impor-       be very healthy, but not everyone might see      ly contagious so you could be doing a good
stemming from their perspective of what
stress means for them,” says Maria Taylor, a
                                                  salmon, macrel, etc.), whole grains and at
                                                  least eight cups of water a day will place
                                                                                                    “When you work out, whether it be
                                                                                                 yoga, running or li ing weights, your body
                                                                                                                                                                                tance to make sure everything gets done.
                                                                                                                                                                                She says that when people have a plan,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 it this way.”                                    thing for someone else.
counselor with Algonquin College’s Coun-
                                                  your body in optimum condition to deal releases a chemical called endorphins,                                                 they’re not as reactive and therefore deal
seling Services. “It’s a very individualistic                                                    which are basically the feel-good chemical                                     with stress better.
                                                  with stress.
                                                     According to Brown, the best way to keep of your body,” Adams says.
      is means that what is stressful for you,                                                      If that weren’t enough, exercise can also al-
is not necessarily something that will cause
                                                  your mood up and your stress level down is                                                                                      5. Learn how to say no.
                                                  to eat every four to ve hours. “If you go too  low you to sleep better and release aggression.
your friend to feel stress. We each react                                                                                                                                          Stop trying to do everything and please
                                                  long without eating, then your body tends to      But for some, it seems practically impos-
with a di erent “stress response” if we en-                                                                                                                                     everyone. Whether it’s because you don’t
                                                  get really low blood levels,” she says. “ at’s sible to t exercise into a busy schedule.
                                                                                                                                                                                want to let someone down, you feel obli-
                                                                                                    Adams suggests quick 20-30 minute
                                                                                                                                                                                gated or you feel guilty if you don’t help, it
                                                                                                 workouts at least ve times a week to keep
                                                                                                                                                                                isn’t useful to carry around those feelings.
                                                                                                 yourself energized and leave you in a better
                                                                                                                                                                                “Guilt is just a form of anxiety,” says Tay-
                                                                                                 position to deal with stress. “Weight-train-
                                                                                                                                                                                lor. “Assertive communication sometimes
                                                                                                 ing is going to release the quickest amount
                                                                                                                                                                                involves saying no for self-care, not sel sh-
                                                                                                 of endorphins to help your body chemi-
                                                                                                                                                                                ness but for self-care.”
                                                                                                 cally,” Adams advises. “And yoga is going
                                                                                                 to help because of the breathing; you’re go-
                                                                                                 ing to be able to relax which puts you into                                      6. Be positive.
                                                                                                 a more focused state.”                                                            Remember        e Little Engine      at
                                                                                                                                                                                Could? Turns out he can come in handy on
                                                                                                                                                                                stressful days. Visualizations can be very
                                                                                                                                                                                important in distracting yourself from
                                                                                                                                                                                negative thoughts. Try not to think about
                                                                                                                                                                                the things you can’t do, but instead focus
                                                                                                                                                                                on what you were able to get done in a day
                                                                                                                                                                                and what you will accomplish next.
                                                                                                                                                    PHOTOS BY MAUREEN LAMOTHE

                                                                                                                                                                                  7. Spend time by yourself
                                                                                                                                                                                  every day.
                                                                                                                                                                                   Taking a time out allows you to separate
                                                                                                                                                                                yourself from the stress in your life. Turn
                                                                                                                                                                                o your phone and take a mental vacation
                                                                                                                                                                                from homework, friends and family. How-

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  GLUE   Winter 2010     41


                                                                     Glue sexpert goes on the prowl
                                                                     for the elusive jungle cats. He
                                                                     shares his tips and tricks...

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          So where

                                                                    Catching                                                                                                                                              does a guy
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          who’s in

                                                                    a cougar
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          the mood
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          for cougar
                                                                                                                        Mike Mellon

                                                                       Mature women, like all women, give o               Be prepared.                                     oor anyway, and the smiles the women           out to be disastrous.
                                                                    a vibe. But mature women give o a very                   e average bar or club has a website,        gave me said it all. ey liked the attention.        However, being
                                                                    special one. I don’t know if it’s the life expe-   use that. You can also call ahead, the bar-          A note of caution: whatever you do,           prepared, focused
                                                                    rience, the maturity or the con dence. But         tender can usually give you a few pointers        don’t ever tell a cougar that she is old. One    and being aware of
                                                                    whatever it is, it’s damn attractive and it’s      and a decent description of what to expect.       of the thrills about cougar hunting is that      your surroundings
                                                                    damn sexy.                                            I get to the bar, there’s hardly anyone        some cougars don’t even know they are, in        and by gauging the
                                                                          at’s why I’ve gone out hunting for a         there that look to be in their twenties.          fact, cougars. A stealthy hunter can catch       reactions of your
                                                                    cougar or two – sexy, mature women over               Good.                                          them unaware. Don’t even mention the             targets, your chanc-
                                                                    35 years old.                                            ere are plenty of cougars, all done up,     word “old” or “older,” they hate it and you’ll   es of avoiding a
                                                                       I’ve had some experience with cougars.          strutting their stu up the stairs into the bar.   waste your time digging yourself out of a        worthless night out
                                                                    My rst time in college, up in Northern                Better.                                        hole and trying to backtrack.                    and shagging a cou-
                                                                    Ontario in a little city called Sudbury, I had        Before I even got in the bar, a pretty            Trust me, the claws will come out.            gar will increase.
                                                                    the opportunity to spend some good qual-           woman with long, wavy re-orange hair                 Another valuable lesson I inadvertently          Now all you lads
                                                                    ity time with two of them.                         turned and gave me a big smile. It had            taught myself, and I should have known bet-      need is a set of big
                                                                       I was pretty fortunate, they were both          “yummy” written all over it, or at least          ter, was that I asked a really good looking,     ol’ cojones.    "  !
                                                                    my neighbours. Both of them were recent-           that’s what the smile said to me. I couldn’t      red leather coat wearing, cleavage bearing
                                                                    ly divorced and looking to put some spice          help but grin, ear to ear. You could feel the     cougar if she came around the bar o en.
                                                                    back in their lives. Boy was I lucky.              sexual tension in the very air around the            Oopsie.
                                                                       I won’t go into details, but I had fun. Lots    place. It was a good start to the night.             I gained some valuable experience out of
                                                                    of fun.                                               Second, and before we go any further, I        that night even though I didn’t take home
       Being prepared, focused and                                     So here I am in Ottawa. I don’t have any        should say this. Don’t get too drunk. Have        or was not taken home by a cougar.
                                                                    single or divorced cougars to hunt nearby,         a few brews to loosen your tongue and                It’s hard to pinpoint an exact science or
     being aware of your surroundings                               at least not that I know of. So where does         get some of that liquid courage. But don’t        fool-proof technique for hunting cougar.
     and by gauging the reactions                                   a guy who’s in the mood for cougar begin?
                                                                       First, do some scouting. e tried, tested
                                                                                                                       overdo it.
                                                                                                                          I know it doesn’t sound like fun, but the
                                                                                                                                                                         On any given night things can go accord-
                                                                                                                                                                         ing to plan while on others they can turn
     of your targets, your chances                                  and true venue - and what should be the
                                                                    easiest choice for beginners like myself - is
                                                                                                                       sacri ce is worth it.
                                                                                                                             ird, keep your aim true, focus. I can
     of avoiding a worthless night                                  a bar or club. ere’s a ton of them in Ot-          just see myself wandering around between
                                                                    tawa that cater to speci c types of women.         this one in the black leather mini skirt and
     out and shagging a cougar will

                                                                    Do some research and you’ll nd a good              that one with the long auburn hair. ere’s
                                                                    hunting spot.                                      just too many to pick from.
                                          PHOTOS BY AVINASH GAVAI

     increase.                                                         Whichever bar you do choose, make sure             Choose your target and stick with her.
                                                                    that the crowd is older than at the average           Fourth, a true hunter blends into his
                                                                    bar. Find out when the single ladies tend          surroundings, surveys the landscape and
                                                                    to drink there, and nd out what the dress          adjusts accordingly. I never took dancing
                                                                    code is and what kind of music they play.          lessons. I suck at it. But I hit up the dance

42     Winter 2010   GLUE                                                                                                                                                                                                 GLUE   Winter 2010   43
                     SOAP                                                                                                                                                                             SOAP

                                                                                                                                                                                           she said
                                        he said
                      BOX                                                                                                                                                                             BOX

  Male, female - doesn’t matter. Glue writers
  take a walk on the other side as they                                                                                                Locked and loaded, Kayla De Sousa takes aim

  SCRAP THE                                                                                                                            I
                                                                                                                                           t is almost impossible to hear anything          90 per cent of the membership.
                                                                                                                                           with the protectors over my ears. I put              “It’s a male-dominated sport,” agreed
                                                                                                                                           on my safety glasses and stand back,             Ena Ward, one of two female range of-

                                                                                                                                       hesitant to move the slightest bit. I wait             cers out of 48 at the RA Gun Club. Each
                                                                                                                                       for instruction. To my le and right are              evening, she says, there are only two or
                                                                                                                                       people of all ages, mostly male, standing            three women out of the 15 or so people
                                                                                                                                       awaiting instruction as well. ey appear              standing in line to shoot.
                                                                                                                                            con dent and ready; my hands are                    “I like helping out with the women,”
                                                                                                                                                    already shaking furiously.              adds Ward, 47, a range o cer for 15 years,
                                                                                                                                                         “Approach the table,” the range    the last three with the RA Gun Club. “I’m
  Mike Mellon puts the man in manicure                                                                                                                o cer says clearly over my            prejudiced, but women are easier to teach
                                                                                                                                                       right shoulder. I walk slowly        than men because they don’t have pre-

     ’m a guy. I drink beer, smoke cigarettes, curse and       rotten skin at the tips of my ngers. She                                                towards the table; a .22 calibre     conceived ideas of how it works.”
     scratch my ass on a regular basis. I don’t get mani-      also tried, with limited success, to even                                              semi-automatic pistol is sitting          As for me, I was lucky enough to expe-
     cures. e only time I have ever thought about a            out the bite marks I had made on the                                                   there with its magazine beside        rience shooting both the handgun and a
 manicure was as a possible gi for my mom’s birthday.          tips of my ngers.                                                                  it, unloaded. Although the sign-in        sporting ri e.
    But that was before. Now I know better.                       Now came the fun part, the hand                                            form showed me that most of the                    I found the sporting ri e to be the more
    I walked by the salon twice before I mustered up           and arm massage. I found this to be                                          people here had no previous rearm               exciting of the two. It was heavy, I had to
 the courage to go in. I’d looked in before to check out       the most important and relaxing                                               experience, they seem sure of what             load each round separately, and I could
 girls, but I never thought I’d actually walk in with the      segment of the whole experience.                                                they are doing as they begin to load         feel the recoil of the ri e into my shoulder
 intention of saying, “I’d like a manicure.” When I did, I            e manicurist - it was a wom-                                              their guns. Luckily, the range o cer        a er each round.
 got some weird looks from the women within earshot,           an or else I’d have passed - applied                                              taking care of me loads mine for me            It probably also helps that I had better
 that’s for sure.                                              some cream to her hands and be-                                                   with 10 rounds.                            aim this time around, even landing one
    Here’s how my rst ever manicure played out.                gan to thoroughly rub it into my                                                     When he hands me the rearm,             bull’s eye. e experience provided a sort of
      To start o , the manicurist sat me down and asked        arms and hands.                                                                  I try to remember all of the safety         euphoric high that I have never felt before
 me to use the alcohol sanitizer on the top of the desk.          It felt very erotic and relaxing and I                                       techniques showed to us before en-           and I couldn’t stop bragging about my
    Second, she made me dip my hands in a cleaning             found it hard to concentrate.                                                tering the ring range, including how            experiences to friends, family and peers.
 solution that also so ens the parts she intends to clean.         I’d go back just for that.                                          to hold the gun properly and safely.                     A er personally experiencing the rush
    Next she trimmed and led my nails, which felt odd             Last, but not least, she painted my nails. I                            When everyone is ready, we are given              shooting guns can provide, I nd it hard
 because someone else was doing the ling, but I ignored        chose a clear coat that also doubled as a nail                          the OK to start shooting. I attempt to aim           to believe that more women don’t want to
 the odd feeling and concentrated on her technique.            hardener.                                                               at the bull’s eye on the target paper and            participate in this sport.
    I didn’t feel as nervous or uncomfortable as I                I got the nail polish simply because I                               pull the trigger slowly. Around me, I can                It also makes me curious why, a er
 thought I would - the fact that there were a couple of        wanted the whole manicure experience. I                                 hear the others’ guns going o quickly and            showing my target skills to the boys in my
 cute girls there to make eyes with didn’t hurt.               wouldn’t get it again. e paint was just go-                             decide to do the same.                               class, they seemed shocked and impressed
    A erward the manicurist began to push back and             ing too far for my taste; my nails sure were                                    e rush is inexplicable and I am totally      with my aim. I can’t help but wonder if
 trim my cuticles. For those of you who don’t know what        shiny though.                                                           unaware that my magazine is empty until              it’s because I’m a girl or because it was my
 cuticles are, they are the strips of dry skin that surround      A guy’s nails are like his car or truck.                             my range o cer advises me so.                          rst time at a shooting range?
 the base of your nail - the piece of skin I never realized    Some like their 4x4’s to work hard, haul a                                      e magazine is pulled out of the gun              Although it was intimidating to be sur-
 had a name, until now.                                        load and have the scratches and dents to                                and both are placed carefully back on the            rounded by men who appeared to know
        is was followed by the manicurist applying some        prove it. Others like a sleek ride with a                                table. I am lled with adrenaline and feel           exactly what they were doing, I would
 so ening oil on the tips of my ngers and nails. e             smooth Turtlewax nish that sparkles                                       a sort of empowerment I have never felt            most de nitely return simply to feel that
 oil wasn’t nearly as messy as the motor oil that usually      and shines.                                                                before.                                           rush again.
 stains my hands - doesn’t stink as bad either.                   I’d say that my hands are de nitely like                                      Many would consider the sport of                In fact, why leave it at guns? Why
    By this point I was beginning to realize the impor-        a truck, one that has more than a few                                          shooting a gun, either in a controlled        shouldn’t women participate in all activi-
                                                                                                                 PHOTO BY CARL DUMAS

 tance that a man’s hands and nails have to a woman:           dings and is covered in mud. Still, like a                                       environment or for hunting, an              ties, even those that are typically consid-
 some like them rough, some like them so , but none            truck, I’ve come to realize that even the                                           activity solely done by men.             ered male-oriented.
 like them dirty.                                              hardest working hands can use a wash,                                                     According to Sharron Malott,           A er all, what better way to show the
    Next, the manicurist pulled out a miniature pair of        tune-up and a bit of pampering every                                                    recreation supervisor at the RA      world that women can do anything men
 scissors and started trimming o the excess, dead or                           "
                                                               once in a while. !                                                                       Centre, men account for about       can? And maybe even do it better! !  "

44    Winter 2010   GLUE                                                                                                                                                                                           GLUE   Winter 2010      45

                          It’s a big, bad world out there
                          and nding a mate is no easy
                          task. Here, love guru
                          Jessica St-James weighs in
                          on what it takes to nd a date.

  “Do you come here often?”
                          T  he world of dating can be a scary place if
                             you don’t know what you’re doing. Being
                          rejected by the cutie you’ve had your eye on
                                                                           tion to those that classify as being their
                                                                           “type.” What if we opened our minds a
                                                                           little? Maybe he is a little shorter than you
                                                                                                                           ods of communication and you don’t need
                                                                                                                           to say a thing. So drop the cheesy pickup
                                                                                                                           lines and try making eye contact or even
                          can be a real blow to the ego. So for those of   prefer, or perhaps you’re not normally fond     just smile at the person you’re interested in.
                          you still searching for the ying to your yang,   of brunettes, but the fact is that keeping an   Once they pick up on your signals, you’ll
                          here is a top ve list of techniques that might   open mind means an even larger popula-          be the one who’s picking up.
                          help you snag that special someone.              tion of potential dates.
                                                                                                                             MAKE YOURSELF
                            KEEP UP                                          HOOK, LINE                                      AVAILABLE
                            APPEARANCES                                      AND SINKER                                       When you’re out in large groups, it can
                             Whether we like to admit it or not, rst          While “Hey baby, did it hurt when you        be very daunting for anyone to approach
                          impressions tell us a lot about a person.        fell from heaven?” might not be what girls      you. Surveys showed that people are more
                          A guy sporting what he thinks is manly           want to hear, the right pickup line in the      likely to strike up a conversation with
                          scru , might come o as being lazy. And           right situation can actually be very e ec-      someone who is alone rather than sur-
                          that girl near the bar with way too much         tive. Don’t be cliché - something as sim-       rounded by buddies.
                          make-up is clearly high-maintenance.             ple as “What are you drinking? e next              If you’re out with friends and you see
                             Results from a recent survey of Algon-        round’s on me,” can work wonders.               someone you’re interested in, try straying
                          quin students showed that people ranked             Student surveys show that compliments        from the pack. Not only will this make
                                                                                                                                                                            ILLUSTRATION BY ALICE HUTCHEON

                          physical appearance as being an important        were ranked as one of the best “lines” to       you more approachable, but people will be
                          part of rst impressions.                         use. So go ahead, boost some egos!              more likely to notice you too.

                            THINK OUTSIDE                                    USE YOUR BODY                               So the next time you’re out on the prowl,
                            THE BOX                                           No, not like that! Body language is one try these techniques and you just might
                            A lot of people tend to limit their atten-     of the most e ective and prominent meth- land yourself Mr. or Ms. Right.

46   Winter 2010   GLUE


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