japanese-culture

							         Marriage in Japan

•History
•Arranged vs. Love
•Mi-ai
•Divorce
•My family
       History of Japanese Marriage
  This folding screen depicts a wedding
  procession organized by a feudal lord's family
   during the Edo period (1603-1868).
  (Property of the Goto Museum)




 Nara                    Kamkura                     Meiji
Period                    Period                     Period
                                                                WWII




           Heian Period                            Edo Period          Modern
                        Heian Period
                        • Marriage not highest
                          value; affairs not
Nara Period               discouraged
• Marriages for love    • Primarily marriages
                          for love (court
• Polygyny (more than     romance)
  one wife)             • Women can marry up
                          to bring up family
                          social status
                        • Men can’t marry up
                          into higher class
Kamakura Period             Edo Period
• Less marriage for love    • Samurai class:
• Bride and groom live        arranged marriage- no
  in their respective         input by couple
  households.               • Couple doesn’t meet
• Bride doesn’t live with     until wedding day
  husband until bear a      • Commoners: love
  child or parents die        marriages
Meiji Period            Modern
• Arranged marriage     • Mostly dating, love
  through all classes     marriages.
                        • Arranged marriage still
• First priority:         popular
  compatible social
                        • First priority:
  status & Family         compatibility of two
  background              individuals
• Second priority:      • Second priority: union of
  couple’s feelings       two families
  toward each other     • Rise of spousal partner
                          introduction services
• Helping Prospective Brides and
• Grooms Get Acquainted
•   OMMG Ltd.

•   Written by Tokunaga Kyoko
•   Photos by Akagi Koichi

•

•     OMMG's customers want a spouse who has similar values and interests, and who matches their
    requirements regarding income and looks. The company uses a computerized system to introduce
    people to each other. After the introduction, couples might date and eventually marry. About 64,000
    men and women throughout Japan have enrolled with the company, hoping to meet the person of their
    dreams.
•     Shinozuka Ryoko, an OMMG spokeswoman, explains, "Of course we can't guarantee that our
    members will marry. Our job is simply to provide information that will help people meet someone of
    the opposite sex. Clients use our services as one way to meet people." In addition to its computer
    search services, the company issues a monthly magazine containing self-introductions, updates on
    events organized by members, and information on groups formed by members on their own.
•     Membership costs 365,000 yen (paid in advance), and is good for three years. The most common age
    is around 30, though quite a few hopefuls join in their early 20s. No matter what their age, women tend
    to describe themselves in greater detail and have more clearly defined requirements of a potential
    partner.
• Miai: an interview or meeting with a prospective spouse. Miai was
  traditionally a common way for a man or woman to find a spouse for
  an arranged marriage (miai kekkon). Miai is comparable to a blind
  date.
• About 20-25% of marriages in Japan are arranged in this manner.
• Nakodo: (the go-between) A man who, with the assistance of his
  wife, arranges a marriage. Traditionally, the nakodo finds a man and
  woman who want to marry, arranges their first meeting together, the
  ceremonial exchange of engagement gifts (yuino) if they decide to
  marry, and the wedding. In the past, the nakodo was also called upon
  later to resolve any marital strife that occurred during the couple's
  marriage. Recently, however, the nakodo's role has decreased and he
  and his wife generally participate only in the wedding ceremony and
  reception. In this case, the groom's boss is usually asked to act as the
  nakodo. His main job is to introduce the bride and groom at the
  beginning of the wedding reception, and he and his wife sit on either
  side of the couple at the head table.
Yuino: “to apply” A kind of engagement ceremony held between the two
families once a man and woman decide to marry.The nakodo often arranges
yuino, which is attended by the couple and their parents. The families exchange
traditional gifts that symbolize happiness, long life, good fortune, etc. ,and the
groom's family presents dowry money to the bride's family. The groom-to-be
also usually presents an engagement ring to his prospective bride while she gives
him such gifts as cuff links and a tie clip or a watch in return.
Kekkon-shiki: Wedding ceremony. The Japanese wedding ceremony is
  traditionally a Shinto rite. Although formerly formal Shinto wedding
  ceremonies were held at a shrine, many are now held inside the hotel
  where the wedding reception is planned, as it is more convenient. One
  hall in the hotel is converted into a Shinto shrine for this purpose.
  In Shinto wedding rites, only the bride and groom, their parents,
  siblings and relatives, and the nakodo and his wife attend the
  ceremony. Friends of the bride and groom are not usually invited.
Hiro-en: Wedding reception. This is usually held immediately after
the wedding ceremony and it is often very long and formal. Instead of
giving presents to the couple, guests are expected to give a certain sum
of money called oiwai, (usually from 20,000 to 30,00yen) which is
used to cover the costs of the wedding and reception. At the beginning,
the nakodo makes a speech introducing the bride and groom, and this
is followed by congratulatory addresses delivered by guests of honor
from each side. Then all the guests drink a toast in honor of the
marriage, followed by a sumptuous meal. Many guests continue to
deliver congratulatory addresses right through the dinner or sing songs.
Just after dinner starts, the bride changes from a traditional Japanese
white wedding kimono (uchi-kake) into a Western style wedding dress.
The groom also changes from traditional Japanese haori-hakama to a
tuxedo, etc. The bride and groom are usually so busy changing and
greeting guests that they don't get to eat. At the end, the groom's father
or the groom himself or both express their gratitude to the nakodo, his
wife and the guests, and the reception ends.


Nijikai: Party held after the hiro-en. This is a much more informal party
attended only by the bride groom and close friends.
      In Japan it is customary for newlyweds to give presents
     (called hikide-mono) to their guests at the wedding.




                            "Giving presents is more than just a matter of form.
                            The couple tends to choose gifts with care.
                            Quite often they give something different to each guest."




Some might go for bottles of wine with their names and picture printed on the label,
or famous-brand tableware or chocolates.



                        Couples can expect to pay around 4,000 yen per guest.
Our bridal agents networks have 1,200 new enrolled members every month.You can get 100 to 150
partner profile data every month.You can look over many thousands of Japanese members at our office.
 Application：The following documents are required

     ㈰ 3 Photographs 写真３枚
     ㈪ Passport& VISA パスポートとビザ（独身証明書の替わり）
     ㈫ Certificate of Alien Registration 外国人登録証明書 ﾊ
     ㈬ Employment Certificate 勤務先証明：such as Health Insurance Certificate健康保険
     証,
     Identity Card 身分証明書等勤務先が分かる書類: submitted by your employer.

     ■Passportパスポート⇒So we may confirm your present conditions and
     circumstances with proper VISA.

     The following documents are ready for you at our office:
     ●㈭Member Registration Form      ニュース原稿登録用紙
     ●㈮Biography&Resume 身上書・履歴書
     ■Man⇒ ㉀Annual Income Certificate
     (Pay Slip,Annual Income Certificate,Tax Payment Certificate, etc.)
     年収入証明書（給与明細書、源泉徴収票、納税証明書、確定申告書等）
     ■Univercity Graduate/ College Graduate⇒
     Univercity Graduate Certificate/or College Graduate Certificate 大学卒業証明書
     (if you can get it)
     TIME BRIDAL SERVICES INC.
          TBN International Marriage Service
     Backed 17 years professional experience of Match-making Service.
     URL: http://www.tbnet.co.jp/ E-mail: info@tbnet.co.jp




Ａ）Basic Charges
㈰Admission Fee                            Ｂ）Success Charges
Varies from course                        ㈬Omiai Fee
￥10,000〜￥100,000                          When you get an omiai
㈪Registration Fee                         ￥0〜￥ﾊ8,000
Same for each course                      ㈭Marriage Fee
￥50,000                                   When you get a spouse
㈫Monthly Dues                             ￥ 200,000〜￥300,000
Monthly services fee
￥ 4,000〜￥ 8,000
                 Family Tree
     Toshiharo
         &                       Takashi Minami
      Kimiko                           &
     Yonekura                    Yutaka Chaya


  Junji    Nobuhiko      Nobuko Minami   Hirofumi Minami   Mie Kitebayashi
Yonekura   Yonekura


             Ai-ris Yonekura
                 Family Tree
     Toshiharo
         &                       Takashi Minami
      Kimiko                           &
     Yonekura                    Yutaka Chaya


  Junji    Nobuhiko      Nobuko Minami   Hirofumi Minami   Mie Kitebayashi
Yonekura   Yonekura


             Ai-ris Yonekura
Although he was celebrated as a hero, he always felt like he was a failure.
   Because he was a Kamikaze pilot his mission was to die for the emperor, but
   he survived. He did not fulfill his mission and felt guilty for surviving.

                   On April 25,1945, while Takashi was taxiing his aircraft
                       down the runway for take-off, the airport was attacked by three
                             American P-51’s and his plane was hit. By the time he stopped
                                       his plane, his face and body were burning.




                                                   Meanwhile, Takashi’s squadron
                                                   left on their assigned suicide mission
                                                   without him. None returned.




                  Grossly disfigured, he never dared dream he would have a normal life,
                            least of all a wife and family.
      Ojiichan
        and
      Obaachan
With Takashi’s brother Yoshio
acting as nakodo Takashi and
Yukata married, having never
even met
                 Family Tree
     Toshiharo
         &                       Takashi Minami
      Kimiko                           &
     Yonekura                    Yutaka Chaya


  Junji    Nobuhiko      Nobuko Minami   Hirofumi Minami   Mie Kitebayashi
Yonekura   Yonekura


             Ai-ris Yonekura
                 Family Tree
     Toshiharo
         &                       Takashi Minami
      Kimiko                           &
     Yonekura                    Yutaka Chaya


  Junji    Nobuhiko      Nobuko Minami   Hirofumi Minami   Mie Kitebayashi
Yonekura   Yonekura


             Ai-ris Yonekura
Minami & Kitebayashi
       Family
Hiro-en (wedding reception). Honored guests, the nakodo and his wife sit with couple at main table.
During the hiro-en (reception)
the couple will wear traditional
Japanese wedding kimono (bride: uchi-
kake, groom: haori-hakama) for part of
the time. After dinner begins, they will
change into Western style wedding
gown and tuxedo.
This is the second of the three wedding costumes the bride and groom wear during the wedding.
This is at the nijikai
(informal party after reception)
          Family Tree

                                Takashi Minami
                                      &
                                Yutaka Chaya
Nobuhiko Yonekura
                    X
                        Nobuko Minami   Hirofumi Minami

 Charles R. Pyle