_Almost_ Never Tells TRICKS..... AND by ghkgkyyt

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									THE
November 9, 2005           Volume 5 No. 2
                                                                                         BSERVER
                                                                                         The Newspaper of the Johns Hopkins University Nitze School of Advanced International Studies




  2005 FALL SAIS CAREER FAIR


 TRICKS..... AND
 OTHER TREATS
  BY NATE YOUNG                brain stress-ball (a great
                               toy for my cat, if I had


  I
       n our elementary        one). In keeping with the
       school science fairs,   trick-or-treat aspect of
       we learned that vol-    the whole charade, a
  canoes erupt because         recruiter     from     the
  baking soda reacts with      catchily-named
  vinegar. In Renaissance      PADCO/AECOM com-
  fairs, people jousted or     pany pointed to a bowl
  swallowed fire. And in       of candy and asked if I
  the Simpsons, Ralph          wanted any. I was a bit
  wins the diorama fair        caught      off    guard.
  because the Chewbacca        Nervously I grabbed a
  figurine was in its origi-   mini       Twix,      and
  nal packaging.               crammed it into my
                               mouth. I looked at him,
  But at this year’s SAIS      wondering if he or I was
  Career Fair, held in mid-    supposed to begin talk-
  October, no one per-         ing. After a moment of
  formed for us or taught      intensely        awkward
  us anything. At the very     silence, I slinked off to
  least we could have had      the next table, where I
  a petting zoo off to the     swiped some Booz Allen
  side or some comple-         mints. The Booz lady
  mentary cotton candy         looked angry, but I just
  laced with job-enhanc-       stared at her, chewing
  ing amphetamines. No,        my tasty chocolate treat.     Former CIA Acting Director John McLaughlin, who joined SAIS this year as a senior fellow at the Merrill Center for Strategic Studies.




                                                             A GOOD MAGICIAN
  this was a job fair, not a
  fun fair. Still, there was   Of course, none of this
  something performative       crap and bric-a-brac is
  about it that seemed to      ever really free. Since




                                                             (Almost) Never Tells
  anticipate Halloween         most of the employers
  trick-or-treating, except    there were government
  no vampire, goblin, or       agencies or government-
  ghost could be scarier       hired consultant stooges,
  than SAIS students try-      your tax dollars and
  ing to look respectable,     mine paid for all of it. So
  decked out in prom           don’t be insulted by my       BY ERIC JAFFE                                For example, I recreate illusions that        ness when, at SAIS’ 60th Anniversary
  night suits and winning      piratical excitement, I                                                    were performed three thousands years          party, Professor Eliot Cohen men-


                                                             P
  smiles. Our female col-      was merely collecting                resident George W. Bush was           ago in the palaces of the pharaohs of         tioned to him that a new Senior
  leagues pretended to         what I rightly deserved.             an officer in his college frater-     ancient Egypt. That’s my theme - I            Fellow position was vacant.
  look like men, and the       And you actually went                nity. Secretary of Defense            weave it into history.”
  men fired off snappy bits    there looking for a job?      Donald Rumsfeld was a wrestler for                                                         “I didn’t want to do something that
  to recruiters, like “OK,     How naïve.                    his high school team, and General            Mr. McLaughlin made history first-            felt like my old job – suiting up and
  great, I’ll shoot you an                                   Colin Powell, former Chairman of the         hand during a 32-year career at the           showing up every morning at 8 and
  email.” Bang, bang, you      Unfortunately, my ship        Joint Chiefs of Staff, was a ROTC            Central Intelligence Agency, includ-          being there until after the sun went
  get em’ tiger!               hit an existential iceberg    cadet as an undergraduate. The               ing a stint as Acting Director from           down or sweating in a corporate cul-
                               when I discovered the         extracurricular interests of these           July to September 2004.                       ture somewhere,” said McLaughlin.
  Yet to me, I confess,        sad, mustachioed gentle-      influential policymakers foreshad-                                                         “I wanted to free myself to do a lot of
  career fairs mean only       man standing alone            owed the roles they would assume             And magic has not been an idle                different things that I hadn’t had time
  one thing: free pens!        behind table #36— land        years later in government.                   hobby. Some of the same skills that           to do in the past four or five years.”
                               of the brain stress-balls.                                                 benefited him as a magician,
  Given a treasure map         No one was at the table       So what activity engrossed John                                                            In the spring of 2005, McLaughlin
  upon entry, I set sail on    inquiring about jobs. I       McLaughlin, former Acting Director             IN THE SPOTLIGHT                            joined the SAIS faculty, where he
  The Kenney Sea in            can’t even remember the       of the Central Intelligence Agency, as                                                     presents seminars on intelligence and
  search of the best loot.     name of the company.          a young man?
                                                                                                             JOHN MCLAUGHLIN                            policy, participates in Strategic
  The bounty I plundered       Some dull acronym, I                                                       McLaughlin said, have served him              Studies courses involving intelligence
  was better than I had        think. I was all set to       Magic, of course.                            well in his career with the spy agency.       analysis, and consults with students
  expected: pens and high-     make my killing, when I                                                    “Houdini once said something appli-           who wish to learn more about the
  lighters of all shapes,      started to ponder the         “As an eleven-year old, I began prac-        cable to my business. Someone asked           field of intelligence. He is consider-
  sizes and colors, mini-      logical insanity of this      ticing magic like you’d practice a           him after he had escaped from being           ing teaching a course on intelligence-
  coasters, bumper stick-      whole process. I thought      musical instrument. Today, I perform         buried alive- they said what’s your           related issues.
  ers, a neon business card    about how after this          at a yearly outdoor fair in Loudoun          secret? He replied, ‘never panic - if
  holder, mouse pads, a        uneventful event, the         country in a little town called              you panic, you’ll die, if you keep            Before his career at the agency,
  purple carabineer with       poor guy will have to         Waterford,” said Mr. McLaughlin,             your head and take things step by             McLaughlin developed an interest in
  mini-flashlight (courtesy    sweep all these unwant-       who joined SAIS this year as a Senior        step, you can do these things.’”              international affairs as a member of
  of the NSA), a double-       ed brain stress-balls into    Fellow at the Merrill Center for                                                           the debate team in high school.
  sided magic marker           a box, and carry that box     Strategic Studies. “I perform what           When his career in government                 During his senior year at Wittenberg
  (also from NSA), and,                                      you would call parlor magic, not             ended, McLaughlin was considering
  best of all, a novelty         Continued on Page 9         stage magic like David Copperfield.          full-time job offers to work in busi-           Continued on Page 9
November 9, 2005                                                            THE SAIS OBSERVER                                                                                                         Page 2


LETTER FROM THE EDITORS
                                                                                 DAPPER DEER DEPT.

                                                                                 W       ASHINGTON, Oct. 26, 2005
                                                                                         (AP): A young deer romped
                                                                                                                             Observed...                              The 42-year-old woman used rope to
                                                                                                                                                                      hang herself across the street from
                                                                                                                                                                      some homes on a moderately, state
                                                                                 through two upscale shops in the                                                     police said. The body, suspended
                                                                                 city’s Georgetown neighborhood              Reef Marine Park, in the Sulu Sea,       about 15 feet above the ground, could
  A State of Perfect Passivity                                                   Wednesday before animal control             400 miles south-east of Manila.          be easily seen from passing vehicles.



 T
                                                                                 officers tranquilized it.                   Park officials said almost 1,076 sq ft   State police spokesman Cpl. Jeff
        here’s just no denying it: we’ve become                                  The animal, described by one shop           of reef had been damaged.                Oldham and neighbors said people
        blasé, moony, even callous. Frankly, the                                 owner as a buck with small antlers,         Greenpeace agreed to pay the fine,       noticed the body at breakfast time but
        SAIS microcosm, to say nothing of the                                    ran into the Diesel clothing store at       but blamed the accident on outdated      dismissed it as a holiday prank.
 surrounding universal macrocosm, has become                                     about 5 p.m., store employees said.         maps provided by the Philippines         Authorities were called to the scene
 dull.                                                                           “It ran straight to the back of the store   government.                              more than three hours later.
                                                                                 and it saw itself in the mirror, so it      “The chart indicated we were a mile      “They thought it was a Halloween
 We’ve simply stopped caring. Indifference over-                                 started ramming itself,” store manag-       and a half” from the coral reef when     decoration,” Fay Glanden, wife of
 whelms the semester. Life has become so uninter-                                er Kira Sternberg said. One of the          the ship ran aground, regional           Mayor William Glanden, told The
 esting that your friendly editor Alex has quit                                  employees turned off the lights, and        Greenpeace official Red Constantino      (Wilmington) News Journal. “It
 drinking without even having to try. Fatima fails                               the deer left, then ran into the Ralph      told AFP news agency. “This accident     looked like something somebody
 the LSAT, and with life and career in ruins, can                                Lauren store next door, where it went       could have been avoided if the chart     would have rigged up,” she said.
 barely muster enough energy to shift slightly on                                to a fitting room in the back.              was accurate,” he said, adding, how-
 her habitual courtyard smoking bench (the hostil-                                                                           ever, that Greenpeace felt “responsi-    DON’T CALL US, WE’LL CALL
 ity takes no effort whatsoever). Kumuda couldn’t                                DEPT. OF DIVINE INTERVEN-                   ble” for the damage.                     YOU DEPT.
 care enough to come up with ideas for things she
 couldn’t care enough about in this editorial.
                                                                                 TION?

                                                                                 W      ACO, Texas, Oct. 30, 2005            TRICK OR TREAT DEPT.                     L     ibya has commemorated the
                                                                                                                                                                            Italian invasion 94 years ago by

 Where is the controversy and excitement in any-
                                                                                        (ABC News): A pastor per-
                                                                                 forming a baptism was electrocuted
                                                                                 inside his church Sunday morning
                                                                                                                             F   REDERICA, Delaware, Oct.
                                                                                                                                 27,2005: The apparent suicide of
                                                                                                                             a woman found hanging from a tree
                                                                                                                                                                      cutting links with the outside world
                                                                                                                                                                      for the day. Callers from abroad heard
                                                                                                                                                                      a message saying communications
 thing?
                                                                                 after grabbing a microphone while           went unreported for hours because        were being interrupted to “denounce
                                                                                 partially submerged, a church               passers-by thought the body was a        the odious crimes” by Italy on the
 Tom DeLay may go to prison! Yawn. The Libby
                                                                                 employee said.                              Halloween decoration, authorities        Libyan people. Libyans were also
 indictment may bring down the Bush administra-
                                                                                 The Rev. Kyle Lake, 33, was standing        said.                                    asked to wear black to mark the 1911
 tion! Woo. Governments the world over flaunt                                    in water up to his shoulder in a bap-                                                invasion.
 their commitments to human rights conventions!                                  tismal at University Baptist Church          DEPT. OF SAIS SEXINESS                  Relations between the two countries
 (Blank stare goes here). Scores of thousands per-                               when he was electrocuted, said Jamie                                                 improved during the 1990s, but Libya

                                                                                                                              B
 ish in natural disasters far and near! Tears over                               Dudley, a church business adminis-                ibi magazine voted SAIS Prof.      wants a gesture of reparation for what
 spilled milk. The Hariri report places Syria on the                             trator and wife of another pastor                 Sunil Khilnani, director of the    it considers to be historic injustices.
 international hot seat! Blah. Harriet Miers exits                               there. “He was grabbing the micro-           South Asian Studies department,         Tripoli has asked Italy to build a 6bn
 stage left with tail between legs, Samuel Alito                                 phone so everyone could hear,”               one of its “2005 Sexiest South          euros ($7.2bn) motorway.
 enters from stage far-right! Inconsequential. Ben                               Dudley said. “It’s the only way you          Asian Men of the Year.”                 “International communications are
 Bernanke nominated to control world economy                                     can be loud enough.”                         Prof. Khilnani’s sexiest qualities      interrupted until 6pm to denounce the
 for forseeable future! Nihil ad rem. Job offers?                                                                             are that he is both “Conscious and      odious crimes committed by the
 Ha! Ha-ha-ha! The world will likely end in twelve                               DEPT.       OF      COMPELLING               Informed.”                              Italians against the Libyan people,”
 minutes! Big yawn.                                                              INCENTIVES                                   http://www.bibimagazine.com/FE          the telephone message, in Arabic and

 It could get better. It could get worse. The point,                             D    ear citizens, please do not kill
                                                                                      doctors — you may need them
                                                                                 one day.”
                                                                                                                              B2005sexymen.asp                        English, told callers from abroad
                                                                                                                                                                      dialling Libyan numbers.
                                                                                                                                                                      International air and sea links were
 dear readers, is that if you have no control over it
 all, why should you be bothered? We most clear-                                 - Public Service Announcement on                                                     also interrupted, the Italian newspa-
 ly aren’t. But if you’ve got it all figured out, well                           Iraqi National Television                                                            per La Repubblica reported.
 then let’s hear it, smartypants.                                                                                                                                     Libya’s “day of struggle” follows a
                                                                                 DEPT. OF POT CALLING THE                                                             “day of vengeance” on 7 October,
                                                                                 KETTLE GREEN                                                                         which marks the expulsion of Italian


  The SAIS Observer                                                              E    nvironmental group Greenpeace
                                                                                      has been fined almost $7,000
                                                                                 (£4,000) for damaging a coral reef at
                                                                                                                                                                      settlers from Libya in 1970. Libyan
                                                                                                                                                                      leader Muammar Gaddafi pledged to
                                                                                                                                                                      change the “day of vengeance” to a
                                                                                 a World Heritage site in the                                                         “day of friendship” during a meeting
                              Editors-in-Chief                                   Philippines. Their flagship Rainbow                                                  with Italian Prime Minister Silvio
                               Alex Kliment
                               Kumuda Dorai
                                                                                 Warrior II ran aground at Tubbataha                                                  Berlusconi in October 2004.
                                Fatima Ayub

                               Contributors                                                                                   BY THE NUMBERS
                                 Nat Bullard
                               Miriam Elder                                         BY TODD HOLLAND                Years since Rocky V           noodles5                      camel in the UAE
                              Armine Guledjian
                               Todd Holland
                                                                                                                   15                                                          3 months in jail
                                Leslie Hough                                                                                                     Price of said noodles in
                                  Eric Jaffe                                       Number of days to the           Percent of Americans who      the SAIS cafeteria            Sentence for the camel
                                 Nour Malas                                        start of the NCAA college       consider themselves pro-      $7.95                         Death9
                              Adam Mendelson                                       basketball season               choice
                               Patricia Mussi
                              Delana Peregrim
                                                                                   27                              62%3                          Percent of British men
                                                                                                                                                                               1 http://news.independent.co.uk/
                               Brice Richard                                                                                                     who could define the “off-
                                                                                                                                                                               uk/this_britain/article320363.ece
                               Jenifer Rogers                                      Price of happiness accord-      Percent of the Supreme        side” rule in soccer          2 http://wsobp.bpong.com/
                                Nikos Tsafos                                       ing to British wealth man-      Court that is currently       55%                           3 CNN/USA Today/Gallup
                                Kate Turner                                                                                                                                    4 Transparency International
                                                                                   agers (five bedroom             pro-choice                                                  5 http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/
                               James Warner
                               Chris Wendell
                                                                                   house, 2 servants, 2 cars,      50% (4 of 8)                  Percent of British women      20051014/od_nm/noodles_dc;_ylt
                                 Nate Young                                        apartment and a yacht in                                      would could define the        =AihWPnNGg1z_UhP2WvsrCRc
                                                                                   the south of France)            Three least corrupt coun-     rule                          SH9EA;_ylu=X3oDMTBiMW04N
 The SAIS Observer is an international affairs news monthly written, edit-                                                                                                     W9mBHNlYwMlJVRPUCUl
 ed, and produced by the students of the Paul H. Nitze School of Advanced          £2.6m1                          tries in the world            59%6                          6 http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/
 International Studies (SAIS) of The Johns Hopkins University.                                                     Iceland, Finland, New                                       20051012/od_nm/football_dc;_ylt
                                                                                   Number of Shiite and            Zealand                       Number of wolves run-         =Aki1tTRYwAX.5IlKDqzkujQSH9
 SAIS students, faculty and members of the administration at the                                                                                                               EA;_ylu=X3oDMTBiMW04NW9m
 Washington, D.C. campus, Bologna campus, and the Hopkins-Nanjing                  Kurdish provinces in Iraq                                     ning free in America’s        BHNlYwMlJVRPUCUl
 Center are encouraged to submit articles, letters to the editor, photographs,     where      constitutional       Five most corrupt coun-       Yellowstone     National      7 NYTimes
 cartoons and other items for consideration.                                                                                                                                   8 http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/
                                                                                   approval got 90% of the         tries                         Park
                                                                                                                                                                               20051017/od_nm/bulgaria_theft_
 Material for consideration or inquireis may be submitted to :                     vote                            Chad,      Bangladesh,        130 (up from 0 ten years      dc;_ylt=Arbd9rqICGKlGS97D2K6
 observer@jhu.edu.                                                                 12                              Haiti,  Turkmenistan,         ago)7                         m8btiBIF;_ylu=X3oDMTA5aHJvM
                                                                                                                   Myanmar4                                                    DdwBHNlYwN5bmNhdA—
 The SAIS Observer is an approved SAIS student organization.                                                                                                                   9 http://www.economist.com/cities
 Opinions expressed in the SAIS Observer are not necessarily the views of          Grand prize in the upcom-                                     Number of Bulgarian bor-      /briefing.cfm?city_id=DUB
 the editors, SAIS, or the University.                                             ing World Series of Beer        Secret to erasing corrup-     der policemen arrested for
                                                                                   Pong                            tion in your country          stealing     the      US
                                                                                   $10,0002                        Add the letters “land” to     Ambassador’s phone
        The Observer welcomes accolades,
                                                                                                                   your name                     28                            Todd Holland is a 2nd
          denials, comments, critiques,                                            Rocky movie currently                                                                       year M.A. student, con-
                and hate mail at                                                   being filmed by Sylvester       Oldest noodles in the         Sentence        for       a   centrating in Western
               observer@jhu.edu.                                                   Stallone                        world                         Bangladeshi man found         Hemisphere/       Latin
                                                                                   6th                             4,000 year old Chinese        guilty of having sex with a   America Studies.
November 9, 2005                                         THE SAIS OBSERVER                                                                                                        Page 3

SAISLIFE                                                                                                                                              BRICE RICHARD




                                                                                                             Brice Richard is a 1st year M.A. student concentrating in China Studies.




CHRONIC COPIER CRACK-UPS
SAIS Library Solicits Sustainable Solutions
BY FATIMA AYUB                    Faced with an increasing      be dismembered at all           oppressed — we must            selling parts and narcotics      excessive heat in the SAIS
                                  number of breakdowns,         costs. We are putting for-      change the status quo. The     to    remaining       broken     library, we feel they will be


I
     n a bold step towards        however, the SAIS library     ward a budget appropria-        photocopiers are no differ-    copiers, while kidnapping        too lethargic to bother. If
     achieving Pareto effi-       has shunned conventional      tion proposal of $87 billion    ent from you or me, deep       healthy copiers for ransom.      this fails, of course, the
     ciency among all             methods of repair and         to eliminate the rogue pho-     within their photoreceptors    If possible, we must con-        IMF will supply another
aspects of student life, the      maintenance,      choosing    tocopiers of the world.”        and light emitting diode       tract a thuggish stooge          unnecessarily large and
library administration at the     instead to resort to the      (Strategic Studies later        bars thrashes an unquench-     from the library staff to        weakly-conditioned loan
Johns Hopkins University’s        powers of collaboration       withdrew their proposal         able yearning for freedom.     oversee these operations,        because it makes them feel
School     of     Advanced        and negotiation to find a     after discreet intelligence     If we liberate them they       giving us a veneer of local      good. We have also com-
International        Studies      sustainable, long-term res-   sources revealed that pho-      will, in addition to copying   legitimacy. Then we will         missioned a study on
(SAIS) has initiated a            olution to the ongoing pho-   tocopier toner was not a        all of your readings flaw-     have a brown bag lunch to        ‘ G e n d e r ,
school-wide request for           tocopier failures that        convertible energy source.      lessly, greet you with flow-   discuss the results.”            Photoreproductivity, and
proposed solutions to the         plague an otherwise idyllic   Instead, they suggested         ers every time you use                                          Copier Development.’”
seemingly endless cycle of        student experience.           putting bowties on all pho-     them. Let this embrace of      I N T E R N AT I O N A L
photocopier malfunctions.                                       tocopiers to make them          freedom stand as a light of    DEVELOPMENT                      Selection of the proposal

The photocopiers form an
integral part of student life
                                  Highlights from a range of
                                  departmental
                                  included:
                                                  proposals
                                                                seem less machine-like.)

                                                                I N T E R N AT I O N A L
                                                                                                hope for copiers every-
                                                                                                where.”                        W       e have applied on
                                                                                                                                       the library’s behalf
                                                                                                                               for an unnecessarily large
                                                                                                                                                                from among these options
                                                                                                                                                                is expected by month’s end.

at SAIS, as each student                                        ECONOMICS                       RUSSIAN & EURASIAN             loan from the International      Fatima Ayub is a 2nd year
must initiate and maintain
an intimate two-year rela-
tionship with the moody
                                  STRATEGIC STUDIES

                                  G  iven their consistent
                                     unwillingness to com-
                                                                T     he library staff needs
                                                                      to cut back on this
                                                                garbage when trying to fix
                                                                                                STUDIES

                                                                                                W       e must dispatch a
                                                                                                        crack unit of drug-
                                                                                                                               Monetary Fund to imple-
                                                                                                                               ment a series of unneces-
                                                                                                                               sarily complex projects to
                                                                                                                                                                master’s student conce-
                                                                                                                                                                trating in international
                                                                                                                                                                law.
and           sometimes                  ply with student       the copiers (i.e. calling for   addled Spetznaz forces to      add another broken copier
intractable machines.                      demands, the            repairs) and should rather   destroy      hundreds    of    to the library. Then, when       Alex Kliment contributed
                                            copiers repre-           wait to see how con-       healthy copiers while elim-    the library is on the brink of   additional reporting for
In addition, the                           sent a clear             sumer surplus can be        inating the interna-           bankruptcy, it can raise         this story.
copiers form a lucra-                       and present            extracted with semi-         tional     wahhabi              copying prices, to extort
tive source of rev-                         danger to             functioning copiers. Now      terrorists     and                more money from stu-
enue for the library —                      S A I S             the department will take a      bandits who are                   dents in a last-ditch
in recent years stu-                       interests.           well-deserved       cigarette   undoubtedly                       attempt to repay the
dent-photocopying                      The     rogue            break.”                         responsible for the               loan. Such a mechanism
profits        have                     regime of                                               failure of the broken                      usually makes
reached drug car-                       maniacal                MIDDLE      EASTERN             copiers. Then we                             students more
tel-like propor-                         photo-                 STUDIES                         must allow them                               prone to riot-
tions, according
to sources.
                                          copiers
                                          must                  T  he photocopiers are
                                                                   not broken, they are
                                                                                                to set up a lucra-
                                                                                                tive black market
                                                                                                                                               ing,      but
                                                                                                                                                 given the




And then, there’s the Office Space solution.
November 9, 2005                                          THE SAIS OBSERVER                                                                                                          Page 4




SPACE & PAST IN MOSCOW
I could tell you how many steps make up
the streets rising like stairways, and the
degree of the arcades’ curves, and what
kind of zinc scales cover the roofs, but I
already know this would be the same as
telling you nothing. The city does not con-
sist of this, but of relationships between the
measurements of its space and the events
of its past.

                              Italo Calvino
                             Invisible Cities
BY NAT BULLARD




A
         t 4 AM, I was still at work, labor-
         ing in the silence and spotted dark-
         ness of a Czarist exhibition hall,
head and shoulders inside a small glass
cabinet as I squinted into a row of spot-
lights. Any city would seem strange like
this, abstracted beyond the point of appre-
hension, placeless and timeless, unlet-
tered and silent. I emerged from the
cabinet and walked out onto the floor.
A Bentley Flying Spur drove past on
the carpeted floor, and I knew I was in
Moscow.

In my other life I work with an art dealer in
New York — not a typical profession for a
SAIS student. But it affords an interesting
life, and it put me there, on the ground, in
a city that had lived in my American imag-
ination as the land beyond the pale, beyond
reckoning, at the other end of 11,000
nuclear weapons. Now it is an open city,
the beating heart of a country whose vast-
ness confounds even the American’s inflat-
ed sense of space. It was not what I expect-
ed.

I had not imagined a city so enormous, so
colorful, or so wealthy. Tverskaya
Boulevard, running into Red Square, is a
steadily thrumming eight lanes of traffic.
Buildings are of a scale ranging from com-
ically large to terrifyingly gigantic. I could
only imagine what Moscow would be had
Stalin completed his unrealized plans — a
neo-gothicized city even more vast, super-
human, and anthropomorphized with the
living emblems of the Communist world
order.

And it’s colorful! Those structures not
dingily Soviet are brightly neoclassical.
The Kremlin is rich red and saffron yel-
low; our venue, the Manège, a cool white
and green. Saint Basil’s Cathedral, the
onion-domed icon of Russia, is a won-
drous riot of color and pattern, Ivan the
Terrible’s fever dream in the darkness of
medieval Muscovy. The Soviet-built
Duma still looms over the rush of down-
town traffic, the only change a new file of
nomenklatura limousines out front, now           Cathedral of St. Basil the Blessed in Red Square, Moscow.
BMW and Mercedes in the place of the old
stalwart Zil. The city was rich, too,            had vanished completely. Eating sushi in          not to see deeply enough. Late one               Underneath this new globalized glossiness,
beyond even the “Wild East” banter of            The Park Hyatt hotel with my Armenian             evening, I strolled through downtown with        then, rests a long lifetime of Communism;
pundits and the addled businessmen at the        boss and our Turkish designer, the food           my friend Aciel, a Kazakh journalist. We         and underneath the Czarist facades lies a
hotel bar. The avatars of mobile global          prepared by Kalmyks and served by                 had tea and vodka at 5 AM, then walked           vast, enduring, and perhaps eternal Russia.
capital, Prada and Gucci and Armani, are         Georgians from an English menu, there             from Pushkin Square to the Bolshoi               The city consists of the measurements
all in abundance–and at higher prices than       seemed to be no “there” there at all.             Theatre and on to the Kremlin. We talked         between space and past. Fifteen years of
in Paris or London. The cars, too, indicate      Globalization at the sharp edge, except that      giddily of our lives in other places, of trav-   capitalism barely alter that calculus. No
a wealth that begins at comfortable and          it was edgeless because it was centerless.        els, of the New Russia emerging around           amount of new history expunges so much
stretches beyond calculation. At night,          A rootless parallel world of pan-fusion cui-      us. But when we passed the old telegraph         that is very old, when the landscape still
dashboards and car-roofs blip with the blue      sine and American cocktails, European             office on Tverskaya, Aciel stopped before        carries space and past together. Ultimately
rhythm of the migalka, a police light pur-       cigarettes, and anodyne place names like          a bust of Lenin’s grimacing baldness.            it is Russia, as Aciel reminded me often.
chased from the government allowing              Vogue Café and Vanil. Neither here, nor                                                            Russia: ancient, enduring, unto itself — a
freedom from traffic laws and suggesting a       there, nor anywhere. Perhaps it was the           “He was a butcher!” she said, her voice          space and a past that are eternal.
certain fungibility of law and order.            future — a hopeful, pastless future.              cracking, “he systematically ruined this
                                                                                                   country and he did it all without knowing        Nat Bullard is a 2nd year MA student,
I often felt that any notional “Russianness”     But to see only hopeful placelessness was         anything. He lived in fucking Switzerland!”      concentrating in Energy Policy.
November 9, 2005                                           THE SAIS OBSERVER                                                                                                                Page 5




Above: Belgrade’s main pedestrian drag, Knez Mihailova, is the city’s answer to the Champs Elysée. Below: Bar La Revolucion, one of the many hipster joints in Belgrade, located off Knez Mihailova.




Paris, London, Madrid......Belgrade?
                                 scores of Serbian hipsters        Mihailova, when the               Kandahar, or Ana4pistolja         Fortress, which also over-        inside. Andergraund, a
BY ARMINE GULEDJIAN              to “Bassment,” the summer         weather starts getting a lit-     — a new hang around for           looks      the     Danube.        club found in the big cave
                                 hotspot in the Kalemegdan         tle cooler in September.          young Belgrade hipsters.          Surrounded by youth from          beneath the fortress, keeps


F
        orget the bleak          Fortress overlooking the          During the day, Knez              After drinks, an authentic        Serbia, Croatia, Bosnia,          the party going throughout
        decade of sanctions,     Danube River: the river           Mihailova, a pedestrian           Serbian dinner in the             Slovenia and Macedonia,           the cold winter months.
        bombings and war         that used to separate the         street with Art Nouveau           bohemian      quarter    of       one might believe the
— Belgraders are now             Ottoman from the Austrian         architecture that dead ends       Skadarlija accompanied            Yugoslav spirit really does       While Serbia seems to be
throwing the best parties in     Empires.                          into the Kalemegdan park,         with live music, would            exist. This year Exit hosted      the new Prague of Europe,
Europe. Almost entirely cut                                        home of Belgrade’s mas-           impress the most cynical of       the likes of Fatboy Slim,         those not lucky enough to
off from the rest of the         Bassment is an open air           sive fortress, is full of         food critics.                     Garbage, the White Stripes,       find themselves in this new
world for the past ten years,    club, where hip Belgraders        beautiful women and men                                             Carl Cox, Underworld, Ian         party capital are often hesi-
Serbs have decided to bring      swarm at 2am, party for           in designer jeans and hip-        In July, Novi Sad — just a        Brown and many more.              tant and put off by the idea
the world to them with           hours and only decide to          ster tennis shoes, taking         one hour drive from                                                 of touring Serbia, in part,
Belgrade’s cafés, bars and a     call it a night after the sun     their mid-afternoon walk,         Belgrade — is the place to        As the summer months              perhaps, because the
nightlife that rivals that of    has come up — 7 a.m. is,          window shopping and               be in Serbia. Hipsters from       draw to a close, the parties      Serbian government has
any cosmopolitan city in         after all, the most oppor-        meeting friends for an early      all over the region flock to      move inside. Clubs on the         not yet mastered the art of
the world. In the “New           tune time to chow down on         evening drink.                    the city to attend the largest    river banks such as South         PR. While neighboring
York of the Balkans” beau-       a pljeskavica (a Serbian                                            music festival in southeast-      and Exile usually have            Croatia also has a few war
tiful English-speaking peo-      hamburger). The club              An evening out in Belgrade        ern Europe. The Exit festi-       world-class DJs spinning          criminals at large, its beau-
ple down their rakija and        moves inside, to the real         could begin with having a         val features four nights of       every weekend. The party          tiful coastline and boast-
dance until the sun comes        basement of a nondescript         drink at one of many hip          amazing music and great           in the fortress does not end      ings of being the next
up from the banks of the         building       on       Knez      bars such as Idiot,               parties in the Novi Sad           when Bassment moves               French Riviera have over-
Sava and Danube rivers to                                                                                                                                                shadowed these would-be
the streets of the old city                                                                                                                                              turn-offs. The world seems
and into the historic                                                                                                                                                    to concentrate on Serbia’s
Kalemegdan Fortress.                                                                                                                                                     crimes from the Balkan
                                                                                                                                                                         wars… with due cause.
The facts are grim: Serbia’s                                                                                                                                             And while terrible atroci-
GDP is just one-third of                                                                                                                                                 ties were committed by
what it was before the                                                                                                                                                   members and supporters of
Balkan wars of the early                                                                                                                                                 the regime in Belgrade, we
90s, Serbs’ average month-                                                                                                                                               must also remember that
ly salary is just €250 a                                                                                                                                                 hundreds of thousands of
month, and devastated                                                                                                                                                    Serbs took to the streets to
buildings still mar the                                                                                                                                                  force Milosevic from
cityscape from the 1999                                                                                                                                                  power. Serbs are trying to
NATO bombing campaign.                                                                                                                                                   move on, look towards the
But Serbs, and Belgraders                                                                                                                                                future while at the same
in particular, have decided                                                                                                                                              time reconciling the past
to leave all this in the past                                                                                                                                            and building a successful
and build their city into the                                                                                                                                            democracy.
new European hotspot.
Destruction is nothing new                                                                                                                                               Serbia, with Belgrade as its
for Belgraders: the city has                                                                                                                                             capital, is waiting for the
been bombed five times in                                                                                                                                                world with open arms. The
the 20th century and 40                                                                                                                                                  question is: when will the
times in its 2000-year his-                                                                                                                                              world arrive?
tory. Only five years after
thousands of protesters                                                                                                                                                  Armine Guledjian is a 2nd
ousted Slobodan Milosevic                                                                                                                                                year MA student, concen-
from power, the warm                                                                                                                                                     trating in International
summer months bring                                                                                                                                                      Development
November 9, 2005                                          THE SAIS OBSERVER                                                                                        Page 6




SEX
              LETTER FROM BEIRUT




AND THIS CITY
BY NOUR MALAS                             applies –the adjustment, that is– to
                                          our minds and attitudes on all
                                          things Sex.


S
       ex. Oooh, I said it. And this
       city?    Our       cherished       The modern Middle Eastern mind
       Switzerland of the Middle          needs more Dr. Samir Khalafs and
East is indeed world renowned for         his “Sexuality in Society” seminar,
its harmonization of the hijab-clad       more sex-ed, and possible more
and the unclad, but certain territory     sex–point finale. I remember a dis-
will implicitly, and infinitely,          cussion in my Arab-Israeli Conflict
remain inviolable.                        course on the causes of our massive
                                          collective defeat of 1967.
We smoke shamelessly in front of
our parents, drink like fish at all       Someone, a guy of course, raised
occasions, and curse West Beirut          his hand to suggest that perhaps
style — but when it comes to sex,         snowballing sexual frustration had
we shrivel like a day-old mint leaf       impeded the Arab troops from per-
and suddenly fall mute.          In       forming …on the battlefield. After
sparkling Beirut, my friends, the         the Engineering guys in the back
Young and the Restless do not have        hushed their snickering and con-
sex.                                      struction-worker hoots, I suggested
                                          that, on the contrary, the lack of sex
In fact, no one has friends who do        — as posited by the frustration-
it, knows anyone who does, or who         aggression        hypothesis        of
knows anyone whose aunt’s                 Behaviorist psychology — should
cousin’s sister does. My ears are         have made for more brutal battle.
already ringing with objections;
surely in certain quarters of the city,   More frustration equals more
and among a particular niche of           aggression, and the blood-stained
people, this is neither a taboo nor a     palette of our history yearns —
big deal. But the fact remains                  shouts, begs, cries — for us to
that we live in an Arab                              paint a prettier scene.
society, dominated                                       And for that, we

                               EIRU
by a history of tra-                                       need more honest
ditional minds                                               introspection,
that       have                                               guided        by
                      B

                                               T




stained      and                                               socio-cultural
restrained                     NOV. 9                          and psycholog-
                                                 LF
                     BRA




even our cool                                                  ical   insight,
and contempo-
                                2005                          into the things
                          CE
                                              SE




rary habits.                                                 that make us
                                                           tick.
Rest assured: this
column will not be
                                    YOUR              So let those juices, cre-
about inappropriate sex-                         ative and libidinous, flow,
capades. Although I am inspired by        and get ready for some of Marvin
countless episodes of HBO’s Sex           Gaye’s “Sexual Healing”. This is a
and the City and own a tank-top that      call to informed rhetoric; to open
says “I am a Miranda”, I am no            minds and hearts, and hormones.
Carrie Bradshaw. I am not stick-          Let’s talk about sex (…and sexuali-
thin, and I don’t have breakfast          ty, gender politics, power dynamics,
every morning with my girl-posse          cultural taboos…), and do it loud.
to talk about last night’s — every
night’s — antics: Zeina is not a          I want to hear it float with the air on
nymphomaniac, Lara not a dating           the Corniche and bounce off the
disaster, Reem not regretfully-com-       miniature walls of Gemmayze …but
mitted, and I am not a sex-colum-         first and foremost, let it resonate at
nist.                                     the Main Gate of our leafy and
                                          illustrious American University of
Perhaps most importantly, I don’t         Beirut campus.
miraculously afford life in the Big
Apple by writing one-to-two lines         Maybe this is where our screams
of romantic wisdom per week that          will finally converge in national
appeal to a sea of forlorn and pas-       unity. As for me, your faithful
sion-diluted women. “Forlorn” and         Sexpert, I promise you I will soon
“passion-diluted” do not strike me        be super-thin, in my Manolos, gaz-
as adjectives that describe the aver-     ing at the New York skyline from
age Lebanese woman, nor the mod-          my SAIS Observer-funded pent-
ern Beirutian.                            house.

But in that case, then, are we actu-      Nour Malas is in her fourth-year
ally getting together, going out, and     at the American University of
hooking up? Clearly, some adjust-         Beirut, where she is studying
ment and culturally-sensitive             Political Science and Cognitive
tweaking is required. But that also       Science.                                  Sitting around just talking sex in ritzy downtown Beirut. Yep, just talking.
November 9, 2005                                         THE SAIS OBSERVER                                                                       Page 7




THE BOLOGNA NAPKIN
BY LESLIE HOUGH



S
       itting around the Raven
       the other night, friends
       and I attempted to
recreate what’s become
known as the Bologna
Napkin. The original napkin,
sloppily penned and stained
with Sangiovese, mapped out
the incestuous web of who’s
hooked up with whom at
SAIS. As legend has it, before
the napkin could be passed
around, one of its more promi-
nent figures destroyed it in an
open flame. This most recent
incarnation of the napkin bare-
ly fits on a loose-leaf page as
it’s now been updated to
include all end-of-the-year
indiscretions, summer flings
and most recent gossip.

In the name of science, I took
the napkin home with me to
better analyze the cross-cul-
tural patterns of promiscuity at
SAIS. Would the stereotypes
of the easy American girl or
the sleazy Euro-guy hold?
Were guys any more likely to
hook up than girls? Americans
more than Europeans? And
what percentage of the class
made it onto the napkin any-
way? Dear classmates, I have
answers for you.

The napkin features a total of

  Continued on Page 10             Fill in the blanks: A rendering of the Bologna Napkin.




                                                                                                      URGENT
                                                                                                      APPEAL
                                                                                                     FOR HELP
                                                                                                      Israel Diaz Herrera has been a revered
                                                                                              and respected member of the SAIS maintenance staff
                                                                                                for many years. Last month, eight close members
                                                                                            of Israel's family were killed in a mudslide in Guatemala
                                                                                             caused by Hurricane Wilma. He and his family are now
                                                                                            very much in need of money to arrange for the funerals.

                                                                                              We appeal to your compassion for Israel’s situation
                                                                                                 and your gratitude for his service to SAIS:
                                                                                                 please contribute anything you can to help
                                                                                                            Israel and his family.

                                                                                                To make a donation, please write out a check to
                                                                                            Israel Diaz Herrera, and deliver it to Loly Duran in the
                                                                                                SAIS Office of Human Resources, in Nitze 315.
                                                                                                    Cash contributions are welcome as well.




                                                                                             THE                    OBSERVER
November 9, 2005                        THE SAIS OBSERVER                                 Page 8




METAPHOR FOR A MILITARY
BY KATE TURNER
                                          WHAT WE THINK WE KNOW
                                                                  And the enlisted serving under
                                                                  him lost their mentor.


W
             hen I first started dat-
             ing my now-fiancé, it                                Knowing the enlisted and officer
             took me five or six                                  ranks, and the units they form,
weeks to admit that I did not even                                helps to map out these relation-
understand       the      difference                              ships: In the Army, enlisted per-
between soldiers enlisted and                                     sonnel begin as Privates, and are
officers in the military. His good-                               promoted successively to Private
natured response told me he had                                   First Class, Specialist, Corporal.
had practice enlightening such                                    Strictly speaking, these are not
ignorant (in the neutral sense of                                 ranks, but rather classifications,
the term) civilians. He launched                                  because these enlisted personnel
into a metaphor that I now                                        have no command authority.
employ when my friends ask me                                     “Rank” is reserved for NCOs and
the same question. For you                                        officers. Army NCO ranks
already enlightened souls, bear                                   include: Sergeant, Sergeant First
with me.                                                          Class, Master Sergeant, First
                                                                  Sergeant, Sergeant Major, and so
Picture a factory floor. The                                      on.
workers on the floor carry out the
assembling, the packaging, etc –                                  Army officer ranks are, in
the bulk of the real work, or pro-                                sequence, as follows: Second
duction. They have various spe-                                   Lieutenant, First Lieutenant,
cialized skills. These men and                                    Captain, Major, Lieutenant
women are the enlisted soldiers,                                  Colonel, Colonel, General (from
marines, airmen, and sailors.                                     one-star to four-star).

Overseeing the workers are select                                 A First or Second Lieutenant
foremen, the loci of not only                                     commands a platoon (the small-
technical skills but also quality                                 est unit under the direct com-
control and institutional knowl-                                  mand of a commissioned officer)
edge.     A good foreman, or                                      of 30 to 40 men, usually assisted
woman, knows how to maintain                                      by a Sergeant First Class.
efficiency – and motivate the                                     Further up the chain, a
workers. Foremen make up the                                      Lieutenant Colonel commands a
non-commissioned officer corps                                    battalion of 300 to 1000 soldiers
(“NCOs” or “noncoms”) of the                                                  or marines, with
military.                                                                      Majors serving as
                                                                               the executive and
NCOs constitute the junior man-                                                      operations
agement, and are often credited                                                               offi-
as being the “backbone” of their
service. In war, a nominal army                                                cers;
would hardly be distinguishable                                        three to four battalions
from an armed mob without the                                           form a brigade.
discipline enforced by NCOs. To
push the metaphor, NCOs are the                                           Why have I outlined these
spine that receives orders from                                   simple structures? Because if
the brain (or officer corps), and                                 you wanted to follow the debate
translates those orders into real                                 on Capitol Hill last week, you
action on the ground.                                             needed to be able to speak “mil-
                                                                  itarese.” It’s like learning SAIS’s
On the senior management level                                    most beloved language – eco-
is the commissioned officer                                       nomics. Learning the hierarchy,
corps. They studied books about                                   force structure, and acronyms of
factories (for the Army, at                                       the military arms you with a
Westpoint, or for the Navy, at                                    toolkit to decipher much of
Annapolis) to earn their MBA,                                     national security policy. When
but a 23 year-old manager cannot                                  Generals Abizaid and Casey tes-
possibly do her job without rely-                                 tified before Congress, they did
ing on the sage advice of the fore-                               not talk about lump numbers;
man.                                                              they talked about battalions.
                                                                  Unless you want to watch con-
That is, a young Lieutenant leans                                 gressional       hearings     while
heavily on his Platoon Sergeant,                                  chained to your Google-tooled
looking to him for pulse-readings                                 laptop (as some people do in
on the morale of his men, and                                     class, no offense), it’s crucial to
much more. Nevertheless, the                                      learn the basics.
most senior NCO officially (if
only nominally in reality) ranks                                  Put another way, if we, as future
beneath the greenest, most junior                                 policy and decision makers, do
commissioned officer. The key is                                  not understand the simple termi-
that a senior NCO teaches an                                      nology that governs the terms of
officer what his or her role is in                                reference, how can we contribute
the scheme of things, and often                                   in an intelligent way?
draws informal respect beyond
that of a junior officer.                                         At the same time, let’s not forget
                                                                  that behind the metaphors and
So when you read that a Captain                                   numbers exist real people. Like
lost “his First SGT” to an IED                                    our classmates. And my fiancé.
(improvised explosive device),
you know that although there
may have been ten years between                                   Kate Turner is a first-year South
this officer and sergeant, the offi-                              Asia Studies concentrator, and
cer lost his right-hand man, the                                  can     be       reached       at
lifeblood at the core of the unit.                                turnerkate@gmail.com.
November 9, 2005                                         THE SAIS OBSERVER                                                                                                        Page 9


SAIS Career Fair 2005                                                                                                  BOOK                    REVIEW
  Continued from Page 1          designer                from    of anxiety, you can always                                    THE OPPORTUNITY:
                                 Williamsburg, and then          squeeze away at stress-                           AMERICA’S MOMENT TO ALTER HISTORY’S COURSE
into his car where it will sit   delivered in a giant card-      balls or whoever’s balls are
in the back seat, perhaps        board      box     full    of   closest at hand. And the                        by RICHARD N. HAASS
for days. Did he steal a few     Styrofoam popcorn to the        unclaimed squishy brains?                       Public Affairs, 241 pages, $25



                                                                                                 THE NEW OLD
brains for his wife and          lonely recruiters.              They’ll be shipped away
kids? Does he even have          Behold, after millions of       from the storage room to
any? He’ll probably just         years of human evolution,       some landfill in New




                                                                                                 REALISM
slog back to his office at       the Enlightenment, the          Jersey, where for hundreds
Acronym Corporation with         splitting of the atom, the      of thousands of years they
the box of brains in his         rise and fall of Great          will slowly but quite con-
arms. Will the company           Powers—the blood, sweat         tently decompose. You’ll
order new batches of balls       and toil of millions has col-   rot much faster, of course.
next year or reuse the 2005      lectively, but unconscious-     You might get the job of
models? I thought about          ly, brought us to the apex of   your dreams, but the brains     BY NIKOS TSAFOS                               defined in terms of eliminating or end-
the poor intern tasked with      human achievement: a            will outlive you. So, for all                                                 ing terrorism, any more than health can


                                                                                                 T
lugging the heavy boxes of       squeezable brain stress-ball    you job-or-treaters, you I-             he realist faces a perennial          be defined as eliminating or ending all
brains into the storage          for a bunch of SAIS mon-        Devers taking corporate                 dilemma. How is it possible to        disease.” This is indeed a sensible real-
room. I thought about how        keys.                           finance in order to “devel-             accept certain unpleasant reali-      ist tune against the those who treat the
the wet sheets of latex,                                         op” your own bank               ties as inevitable, while exuding confi-      utter elimination of terrorism as a press-
extracted from places like       My fellow students, now         account, all you Strat folks    dence and enthusiasm about the policies       ing and existential need. All the same,
Kerala, will be processed in     that we have disembarked        learning how to drop            meant to remedy them? It is this circle       this perspective is unlikely to be wel-
giant chemical factories         from the sick and demented      bombs on babies efficient-      that Richard Haass, president of the          comed while the American public mood
spewing        carcinogenic      carousel ride that was the      ly, here’s a good piece of      Council on Foreign Relations, sets out        is still so charged against terrorism.
effluents into seas and          career fair, do you really      advice: take a free pen and     to square in his latest book, The
skies, and where the elastic     think the whole charade         shove it in your eye-socket!    Opportunity: America’s moment to alter        On democracy, too, Dr. Haass is cate-
hydrocarbon polymers will        was about you? Do you                                           history’s course.                             gorical: “it is … neither desirable nor
be fused and molded into         ever consider the number        I can’t wait until next                                                       practical to make democracy promotion
the shape of a squeezable        of jobs people suffer           year’s fair.                    The result is a sort of politically-correct   a foreign policy doctrine.” It is clear that
brain by robots designed by      through so you can have                                         version of modern realpolitik, free of the    Iraq is very much on Dr. Haass’ mind.
MIT engineers,          later    even the luxury of looking      Nate Young is a 2nd year        “offensiveness” and pessimism of John         “Many have posed the question as to
stamped with the latest          for one? You’ll get your        M.A. student, concentrat-       Mearsheimer, one of the preeminent            whether Iraq and the world are better off
Acronym Corp. logo creat-        degree, a job, and even         ing   in   International        realists of our time, yet carefully attuned   without Saddam Hussein,” he writes. “It
ed by some loser graphic         your cake. And in moments       Development.                    to realism’s truest tenets. Dr Haass’s pri-   is and we are, but this is not a terribly
                                                                                                 mary attachment is to the idea of “inte-      useful question … What matters is …


A Good Magician
                                                                                                 gration.” “At its core,” he writes, “it is    the balance or the relationship between
                                                                                                 the ambition to give other powers a sub-      costs and benefits. It is this assessment
                                                                                                 stantial stake in the maintenance of          that leads to the judgment that the war
                                                                                                 order — in effect, to co-opt them and         against Iraq was unwarranted.”


Almost Never Tells
                                                                                                 make them pillars of international soci-
                                                                                                 ety — so that they will come to see it in     Yet this sharp indictment treats the Iraq
                                                                                                 their self-interest to continue working       war as a closed chapter in the history
                                                                                                 with the United States and damaging to        books. In ten years, Dr. Haass could per-
  Continued from Page 1                                          Director      of     Central    their interests to have a falling-out with    haps pass such a judgment, but the Iraq
                                                                 Intelligence. In that role he   the United States.”                           war cannot today be dismissed in a few
College in Pennsylvania,                                         represented the intelligence                                                  pages. Although the realist caution
while considering attend-                                        community in briefings          While Dr. Haass’s ideas here are refresh-     against an overly ambitious foreign pol-
ing law school, he learned                                       with the President, at meet-    ing, they are not original. The historical    icy is a useful counterpart to America’s
about SAIS from a fellow                                         ings of the National            precedent for his vision of “integration”     instincts for changing the world, his
student. “I happened to                                          Security Council Deputies       is to be found in the “Concert of             argument against putting democracy at
have a colleague whose                                           Committee, and at hearings      Europe,” which emerged following the          the center of American strategy will
father taught in the Latin                                       on Capitol Hill.                Napoleonic Wars as the first internation-     stand or fall largely based on future
America program at SAIS.                                                                         al council for managing the interaction       developments in Iraq.
I visited the school and I       John McLaughlin                 McLaughlin is animated          of nation-states. Dr. Haass believes we
said, ‘Wow, wouldn’t I love                                      when he talks about current     can replicate that today. But the nine-       It is ironic that what Dr. Haass wants
to come here.’”                  After graduating from           SAIS students’ career           teenth century great powers clustered         rests so much on what he deplores:
                                 SAIS, McLaughlin joined         prospects. “This feels a lot    around a narrow geographic space,             “integration” and the war in Iraq may be
After being admitted,            the U.S. Army, attended         like 1947 or 1918, one of       shared many interests, and power was          two sides of the same coin. The gamble
McLaughlin concentrated          Officer Training School         those moments in time           more or less evenly distributed between       on Iraq builds on a long foundation of
in European Studies and          and was commissioned as a       when what the US does in        them. Today’s power structure is differ-      American ambivalence towards the sta-
spent his second year in         second lieutenant. He spent     the world can be pivotal.       ent. Concert or no concert, peace and         tus quo: accepting it whilst also trying to
Bologna. The policy expe-        a year working in Army          Which means that as an          stability will hinge on the balance of        change it. It is this American attitude
rience of the faculty there      intelligence in Vietnam,        individual you’re going to      power and each state’s differing views        which offers the best hope for “integra-
impressed him, and moti-         where he said his back-         have a great opportunity to     on the world. Integration is a sensible       tion.” It shows that America welcomes
vated him to work in gov-        ground at SAIS served him       affect things and chal-         vision, but it cannot fundamentally           changes to the status quo without being
ernment. “There was a            well. “I don’t think a day      lenges that will leave you      change either the power or the interests      certain of what will follow it. Only a
commitment to being a            has gone by in my intelli-      very satisfied.”                of the great powers—it can only facili-       hegemon with such mixed feelings can
contemporary person. [The        gence career where some-                                        tate cooperation on the margins.              be counted upon to accept and integrate
faculty felt] the need to be     thing that happened to me       The key skill to develop in                                                   others rather than trying to stifle their
grounded in some substan-        during my SAIS experi-          graduate             school,    Beyond the idea of integration, what is       ascent.
tive field but to remain         ence has not resonated.”        McLaughlin said, is an          striking about the book is that an inter-
involved, concerned about,                                       ability to learn rather than    nally consistent argument for realism is      In the end, Haass’s argument comes
and desirous of affecting        After returning to the          mastering any particular        both at home and at odds with President       down to a realist case for binding togeth-
what’s happening now –           United States, McLaughlin       subject. “There was a time      Bush’s foreign policy. In dealing with        er Great Powers so that they may share
because ultimately it turns      joined the CIA as an ana-       in international relations      the great powers, Bush has generally          the burdens and benefits of running the
into history.”                   lyst in 1972, working on        when you could master a         followed realist instincts: avoiding a        world. In today’s unipolar structure, this
                                 European, Russian, and          few major texts and have        high-pitched rhetoric that criticizes         idea may sound absurd; and in a more
Even then, McLaughlin            Eurasian affairs. Later, he     your conceptual framework       China on human rights, not letting            multipolar world it may be irrelevant, as
said, SAIS professors were       founded the Sherman Kent        for some years to come, but     domestic politics affect the broader rela-    an increasing number of powers set out to
focused on current events        School for Intelligence         we’re past that now. The        tionship with Russia, recognizing India       defend their different worldviews. But
and policy as much as aca-       Analysis, an institution        future belongs to those that    as the nuclear power that it is—these are     this is the realist predicament: to react to
demia. “One of my profes-        “dedicated to teaching the      are continuously learning,      examples where American policy and            the world while remaining conscious that
sors would always begin          history, mission, and essen-    are flexible, engaged, and      Dr. Haass’ ideas converge.                    there is only so much that can be done to
his class with a review of       tial skills of the analytic     willing to roll with the                                                      tamper with the future. This is a useful
what happened in the             profession to new CIA           punches.”                       Where they diverge is on the Global War       lesson today, and always.
Middle East that week. It        employees.”                                                     on Terror and on democracy promotion.
always impressed me that                                         Eric Jaffe is a 1st year        On the prospect of defeating terrorism, a     Nikos Tsafos is a 1st year M.A. student,
we would then go to the          In 2000, McLaughlin was         M.A. student, concentrat-       goal that Bush has publicly declared,         concentrating in Middle East Studies
nineteenth century.”             promoted   to   Deputy          ing in Strategic Studies.       Haass writes that “success … cannot be        and Energy Policy.
November 9, 2005                                        THE SAIS OBSERVER                                                                                                           Page 10


  Dear James,                                                                   A S K JA M E S                                  Dear James,
  An acquaintance of mine recently set me up on a really                                                                        In 1982, the international Islamist group Hizb-ut-Tahrir
  weird blind date with a girl who is exceptionally beauti-          Questions abound in our lives.                             al-Islami (Party of Islamic Liberation) undertook a con-
  ful, but it turns out she’s married. But it was bizarre                                                                       tentious theological and juridical debate on the question
  because even though her husband was out at the club
                                                                    We face moral questions, ethical                            of whether a Muslim astronaut in outer space would be
  with us, she was being really flirty with me and like               questions, fashion questions,                             required to pray. To this we might also add the
  touchy-feely and stuff when he wasn’t around — which                       etiquette questions,                               question of orbital fasting requirements, but the key prob-
  was most of the time, actually. When they left, she was                   rhetorical questions,                               lem, it seems, is: how do you go about sighting the moon
  like, “We DEF-initely have to hang out again,” in this                                                                        for prayer and fasting times if you’re standing on it?
  really suggestive way. I can’t tell if she’s
                                                                 the Big question, the Mars Question,                           - Ahmad bin al-Qamar, Mare Vaporum, Moon
  just a big flirt, or if something else is afoot. What should             the Easter n Question,
  I do?                                                                and myriad others to which                               Dear Ahmad,
  - Disquieted Dionysian, Bethesda, MA                                   life, of course, provides                              Good to see that you all are working out the kinks up
                                                                                                                                there – I hope this column finds you well and not sucked
  Dear DD,
                                                                              few easy answers.                                 out unexpectedly into the freezing void of space.Your
  Just as humans hold up language and knowledge of our             Yet there are those among us with                            piety is an inspiration to devout astronauts everywhere,
  mortality to separate ourselves from other animals, so do         sufficient breadth of experience,                           I’m sure. At root is a conundrum faced by some other
  Americans often point to our sexual mores — particular-        de pth of feeling, and clarity of mind                         Muslims—when to pray in places where there is no day
  ly regarding adultery — in order to distinguish ourselves                                                                     or night? Your Muslim brothers and sisters who live at the
  from other societies. Not that we are less adulterous than
                                                                   to guide us along the path of the                            South pole or in Sweden have all had to compensate for
  other countries, but our popular representations of infi-                  well-examined life.                                life in lands whose sidereal profiles are much different
  delity portray it as an unpardonable, shattering sin. Only      In fact, there is one such sag e right                        from that in the Holy Lands. Cursory research informs
  the cartoonish polygamists — multi-spouse Mormons,                            here at SAIS:                                   me that Muslims in such a position — speaking of which,
  or swinging couples — escape a sense of the tragic                                                                            how do you prostrate yourself in zero gravity? — use the
  because mutual consent is involved and they can be safe-
                                                                               JAMES WARNER,                                    moonrise time from the nearest location that has a reason-
  ly categorized as either fanatics or fetishistic libidinous           second-year M.A. student                                able amount of daylight. Presumably you could use the
  freaks, and I’m not saying which is which.                       concentrating in Strategic Studies.                          prayer and fasting schedule from your hometown.
                                                                   James’s ecumenical understanding
  Indeed, DD, I suspect you were a patsy in the sort of                                                                         But your query goes to a more fundamental matter—the
  immature fantasy that seems to be a recurring motif in
                                                                 and wide-ranging intellectual interest                         religious implications of astronomy. Surely you know
  swinger culture — instead of straight-up seduction,             and experience make him a valuable                            that some of the most important early astronomers were
  attending a convention, or a long-term conversion of           resource for us all, and he has kindly                         Muslim: Omar Khayyám, al-Farghani, al-Khujandi, and
  another couple, the married woman you were dancing               offered to dispense his counsel to                           Nasir al-Din al-Tusi—the latter three have craters named
  with probably asked your acquaintance to find a likely                                                                        after them on the moon, some of them not far from your
  mark for an evening of “aren’t I a naughty girl?” I’m bet-
                                                                        any and all restless minds.                             base on Mare Vaporum. Their rigorous study of heaven-
  ting your acquaintance was in on it from the start, as, of         Oh, he also has a light interest                           ly bodies was impelled by a mixture of religious and sci-
  course, was the husband. If you go out with them again,                       in Guatemala.                                   entific imperative, and in this they were joined by civi-
  you are certainly signaling your consent to move to the                                                                       lizations around the world and across time.
  next stage of their game…and I would find a way to talk
  to hubby before you leave any public place with the two                                                                       But in unlike the great achievements of Persia, other civ-
  of them. Find out what they have in mind, find out where                                                                      ilizations’ astronomical sophistication was in sharp con-
  they want to take you, and discreetly call a good friend                                                                      trast to, or even impeded, their technological develop-
  just in case their idea of a good time includes rohypnol                                                                      ment. The Mayans, for example, had exalted astronomers
  and observing how prolonged restraint affects the human                                                                       who were responsible for keeping an extraordinarily
  tolerance for dehydration.                                                                                                    complicated calendar that combined divinatory cycles
                                                                                                                                with those of the Moon, Mars, Venus, and the Earth’s
  Now, if the extramarital loving turns you on, and you                                                                         orbit of the sun (though they were not heliocentric). This
  want to avoid organized debauchery, why not give your                                                                         sacred system of wheels within wheels resulted in reli-
  new friends a chance to really liberate themselves while                                                                      gious prohibitions from using wheels for daily activities,
  doing some good besides? The western hemisphere is                                                                            and apparently the Mayans constructed their enormous
  much more licentious south of Texas, and they could                                                                           temple cities, like Copán in Honduras and Tikal in
  really use some help down there after Hurricane Stan.                                                                         Guatemala, without the use of wheeled vehicles.
  There is no randier lot than humanitarian aid workers,
  and I hear that the Habitat for Humanity crowd is partic-                                                               Comparing the inheritance of these two civilizations,
  ularly wild—the rumors about their ‘housewarming par-                                                                   their relationship to the stars was telling. The Mayans
  ties’ cannot be reprinted in this column, but I can say for                                                             lived in an intense symbolic world filled with a prolifer-
  sure that it involves copious amounts of peanut butter.                                                                 ation of gods and demons. A time traveler to the court of
                                                                                                                          Aw Cacao in Tikal who endeavoured to explain the
  Anyway, I think you and your new friends should volun-                                                                  moon landing would likely have been met with disbelief,
  teer for a few weeks’ relief effort in Central America,                                                                 if not violence for blasphemy. But Nasir al-Din al-Tusi
  and if I were you I’d pick Guatemala. Not only is there        Please send questions for James to observer@jhu.edu, in his 13th century Maragheh observatory would have
  a savoury assortment of adventurous Europeans and              with ASK JAMES in the subject line.                      immediately set down to work out the orbital mathemat-
  free-spirited Americans for you all to experiment, but the     she isn’t married, because that can be dangerous. But if ics of the journey. Eight hundred years later, Iranian sci-
  ladino (non-indigenous) culture there is notoriously tol-      you stay within those generous boundaries, you can look entists frighten the world with their atomic acumen. And
  erant of infidelity. Married men are just assumed to have      forward to a few weeks full of temperate nights, muscles Guatemalans write frightened letters to their national
  a girlfriend or two around town, and perhaps another           tired from building houses, head buzzing from the canti- observatory when Mars comes near, asking if its proxim-
  family. So the hubby in your threesome will likely find a      na, and moonlight bathing ringed and unringed hands ity will set off earthquakes, wars, or volcanic eruptions.
  willing young lady if he has a mind to—just make sure          intertwined, with nary a look askance.                   One could not have built the Alhambra without wheels.




                                      THE BOLOGNA NAPKIN
  Continued from Page 7                                                                                                                                     in our field are what it takes to cre-
104 people, 76% of the Bologna                                                                                                                              ate the incentives to commit in a
campus, active in the “dating”                                                                                                                              competitive market for grades,
pool. I opted to include in this                                                                                                                            jobs and sex. A British friend was
total three visiting friends who      to balance women and men,              parts of the world to abstain from     and mono-ethnic hook-ups may            prepared to get a doctor’s note
earned honorary SAIS status by        Europeans and Americans in the         the antics altogether.                 mean that the high incidence of         declaring him unfit for a second
hooking up with two or more           SAIS dating market is almost           Most importantly, the trends in        cross-cultural relationships at         language until a stylish Italian
Bolognesi as well as one little       eerie. From a total population of      who hooked up with whom follow         SAIS is more than just a matter of      girlfriend came into his life and
brother and a guy wearing leder-      168, 53 girls balanced the 51 guys     no national patterns. Almost           fetishizing “the other” after all. It   put him on track to pass proficien-
hosen who did well for himself at     active on the scene, 15 girls with     everyone with two or more part-        seems that after testing the waters     cy. Meanwhile, an American
the Austrian ball. There are also     pre-existing significant others        ners has sampled at least one          on both sides of the Atlantic, peo-     friend in search of a European
three new players, two officially     matched the 17 guys also attached      American and one European. The         ple are only taking the plunge into     happily-ever-after rationally cites
and the other de facto liberated      and 15 girls busy studying bal-        only exceptions to this rule are the   the murky depths of monogamy            the access to jobs an EU passport
from relationships by the move to     anced the 15 boys who couldn’t         American military men who strict-      with significant others from dif-       would bring. Some opportunist
Washington, as well as four           muster the courage or depravity to     ly hook up with American girls —       ferent backgrounds. Could this be       pragmatism, some romantic ideal-
known DC operatives now in the        seal the deal at Harry’s Bar.          maybe with future security clear-      a sign of the enlightened, maybe        ists—as we are forever told at
mix. Other high achievers include     Across all three of these cate-        ance in mind — and one European        even evolutionary, liberalism of        SAIS, the beauty is the diversity.
two Americans and a German            gories, there was a perfect 50/50      male who hooked up only with           Bolognesi ready to leap cultural
with five partners apiece.            split between Europeans and            European girls and unsurprisingly      barriers in a single bound?             Leslie Hough is a 2nd year M.A.
Overall, the extent to which forces   Americans as well as a notable         remained in Europe this year.          That, or maybe the long-term ben-       student,    concentrating    in
of supply and demand have acted       tendency for people from other         This even split of cross-cultural      efits of a cross-cultural partnership   Conflict Resolution.
November 9, 2005                                         THE SAIS OBSERVER                                                                                              Page 11




OCCUPATIONAL HAZARDS
I                                                                             FRUGAL GLUTTON
     ’ll be honest, my job as   and austere elements such                                                               limits of the Observer’s        Perfectly respectable piz-
     a food critic is proba-    as sharp corners and per-                                                               reimbursement policy.           zas go for $5.95-$8.95. The
     bly the most coveted       fect asymmetry that some-                                                                                               hamburger—so big it needs
position at SAIS — I get        how come together to cre-                                                               The bottom line is that if      to be cut in half to eat—sets
free meals, I get fame, I get   ate a cozy atmosphere. The                                                              you’re in the Chinatown         you back just $6.95, and a
girls asking me to take         downstairs is a great place                                                             neighborhood and want to        plate of crisp-moist catfish,
them out… But recently,         to experiment in the world                     By                                       go to this brand new, styl-     at $10.95, challenges the
I’ve learned that being a       of     fusion    cocktails.                    ADAM MENDELSON                           ish, trendy restaurant, think   soul food competition with
food critic is not all glitz,   Various flavored mojitos                                                                twice. There are plenty of      its tangy collard greens and
glamour, and easy prey.         (cucumber, pineapple and                                                                cooler, cheaper, less con-      spoonfuls of lemony caper
With each dining experi-        mango) range from $9-$11                                                                trived versions of fusion in    sauce. All-in-all, two
ence, the likelihood of gas-    and are definitely worth a                                                              the area, such as Matchbox,     thumbs up on the place.
tronomic, monetary, or          try.    As for the food,                                                                which I’ll write up next
psychological misfortune        Zengo’s menu is diverse.                   RESTAURANTS REVIEWED                         month                           There is one caveat, how-
increases, especially if you    The calamari ($9) and                                                                                                   ever. My laptop was
happen to have your com-        Zengo’s creative, signature                                                             BUSBOYS                         destroyed when a waiter
puter along for the ride.       sushi rolls ($11) were           ZENGO                                                  AND POETS CAFE                  spilled an entire glass of
                                                                 781 7th St. NW, at H Street
Most importantly, I’ve          appealing, but the ceviche       Metro: Gallery Place/Chinatown (Red Line)                                              orange juice on it. Busboys
learned that new restau-        was overpriced and unin-         Phone: 202-393-2929                                    This new restaurant-cum-        and Poets encourages wifi
rants are like babies: they     spiring.                                                                                bar-cum-wifi zone-cum-          users to surf at their estab-
spit up and ruin your shit.                                      BUSBOYS AND POETS CAFE                                 bookstore is much cooler        lishment by providing a
                                Zengo is one of those            2021 14th St, At V Street                              than I just made it sound.      wireless station, but after
ZENGO                           restaurants that prides itself   Metro: U Street (Green Line)                           If you’re familiar with         my misfortune they have
                                                                 Phone: 202-387-7638
                                on fusion (Latin-Asian) the                                                             Tryst in Adams Morgan,          now implemented a “surf at

I n Japanese, “zengo”
  means give and take. In
Washington, zengo just
                                way Bolivia calls itself an
                                integrated society—it ain’t
                                foolin’ nobody. Frankly, I
                                                                                                                        this place is cleaner (no
                                                                                                                        smoking), with good food
                                                                                                                        and a better night scene. I
                                                                                                                                                        your own risk” policy. So
                                                                                                                                                        if a careless waiter happens
                                                                                                                                                        to find you and your digital
means take.                     was put off by the scatter-                                                             was there a few weeks ago       date to be suitable targets
                                shot concoction of flavors,                                                             for a birthday soiree and       for an apple juice dousing,
Designed by the reasonably      the overly saucy moments,                                                               was pleasantly surprised by     you’ll be on your own
hip, District-based firm        and the generally coarse                                                                the vibe. A few days later I    when it comes to replacing
Adamstein & Demetriou ,         gastronomic approach of                                                                 returned for brunch, and        your computer.
the two-story, 195-seat         the main dishes. Also, the                                                              couldn’t have been more
Zengo includes a ceviche        entrée prices (around $24                                                               content: nice people, good
bar and lounge. The décor       each) are an outrage. I                                                                 food. I decided to come         Adam Mendelson is a 2nd
evokes a certain 70’s style     spent over $100 for two                                                                 back for dinner that night,     year M.A. student concen-
with warm orange tones          people, and left feeling                                                                to do a formal review.          trating in Latin American
throughout the restaurant,      unsatisfied, broke, and                                                                 Here’s my conclusion:           Studies and Emerging
yet incorporates Modernist      apprehensive about the                                                                  good food at gentle prices.     Markets.




Nightmare before a wedding
BY MIRIAM ELDER
                                                                   MOVIE REVIEWS                                                                 and humor, while at the same
                                                                                                                                                 time giving insight into the
    THE CORPSE BRIDE                                                                                                                             writer’s deeper demons through
                                                                                                                                                 the slightest shift of the eyes or


T
        im Burton’s latest dark                                                                                                                  move of the hand. The film fol-
        puppet masterpiece has                                                                                                                   lows Capote to Kansas, where he
        one very important mes-                                                                                                                  becomes obsessed with the mur-
sage: marriage is hell. Victor                                                                                                                   der of the Clutter family. After
(voiced by Johnny Depp) is an                                                                                                                    interrogating and charming
inept romantic who takes a long                                                                                                                  everyone in the town associated
walk through a haunted forest                                                                                                                    with the murder victims, Capote
after a disastrous wedding                                                                                                                       moves on to the killers. The
rehearsal for his upcoming mar-                                                                                                                  movie becomes an exploration of
riage to a homely maiden. As he                                                                                                                  Capote’s search for the perfect
recites his vows to the trees and                                                                                                                story – which he eventually turns
crows, he awakens a sleeping                                                                                                                     into his finest novel, In Cold
vixen of a bride who has lain rot-                                                                                                               Blood. Capote goes to great
ting under the snow since she was                                                                                                                lengths in helping the killers,
murdered on her wedding night.                                                                                                                   seeking appeals and stays of exe-
Antics ensue, as Victor travels                                                                                                                  cution, until four years lapses and
between the 19th century village                                                                                                                 the end to his nonfiction novel
his plain fiancée inhabits and the                                                                                                               has yet to have an ending. We see
drunken musical underworld fre-                                                                                                                  Capote spiral from enthusiastic
quented by his curvy corpse of a                                                                                                                 writer to obsessed genius to a
bride (voiced by Helena Bonham                                                                                                                   self-absorbed man who casts off
Carter). Though nowhere near as                                                                                                                  moral considerations of others in
groundbreaking or entertaining as     Out in time for the Halloween                                          taking on the lead role of the      his search to be the best. A story
The Nightmare Before Christmas,       season, and running just over one                                      flamboyant Truman Capote, is        of murder and moral decline in
The Corpse Bride – adapted from       hour long, the movie provides a                                        amazing. The story is gripping.     small-town America, the film
a Russian folktale – has its funny    pleasant enough break from the                                         The cinematography is beautiful.    never fails to hold your attention.
moments. It’s not the story that      classroom. I could have done,                                          Hoffman, who has already            Capote is one of those rare
makes the film this time – but the    however, without the talking                                           proven himself as one of the        Hollywood creations – creating a
macabre atmosphere that Burton        Mexican maggot.                                                        greatest actors of our generation   lot of buzz and likely to rack up
is so adept at creating. And to                                                                              in films like Boogie Nights and     tons of awards while actually
think that the tiniest move of each                CAPOTE                                                    Magnolia, truly makes the film.     deserving it.
puppet — a wink, a sigh, even                                                                                Adopting Capote’s trademark
one short step — is made by
hand, without computers, only
adds to the wonder of the film.
                                      E     verything you’ve heard
                                            about this long awaited film
                                      is true. Philip Seymour Hoffman,
                                                                                                             voice and mannerisms, he man-
                                                                                                             ages to elicit giggles by playing
                                                                                                             up the Capote’s self-obsession
                                                                                                                                                 Miriam Elder is a 2nd year M.A.
                                                                                                                                                 student,     concentrating
                                                                                                                                                 Strategic Studies.
                                                                                                                                                                              in
November 9, 2005                                       THE SAIS OBSERVER                                                                                                        Page 12




 SYMPATHETIC NOISE
 BY PATRICIA MUSSI              So on a cold dark German
                                night, my friend Verena
                                                                 CONCERT REVIEW                                               Waiting” are all from the
                                                                                                                              brand-new third album
                                                                                                                                                             ain’t no easy way out!” It’s
                                                                                                                                                             not rock’n’roll technically,


 B                                                                BLACK REBEL MOTORCYCLE CLUB
         lack         Rebel     and I travelled to Cologne                                                                    “Howl”, and they have          but it feels earthier than
         Motorcycle Club,       from her home in Aachen                                                                       nothing in common with         anything these guys have
                                                                         at the 9.30 Club, September 26
         the leather-clad       and groped our way                                                                            the roaring rock and heavy     ever done
 rockers      from      San     through dark and foggy         pointed that I didn’t even      formed. All it took was for    melancholy-laden ballads
 Francisco, have changed        streets into an equally dark   bother to get autographs.       him to slap some               that have hitherto been the    In the course of the gig, the
 their tune: instead of         and foggy club. The per-                                       Brylcreme in his hair and      band’s trademark. Instead,     band play practically all of
 intensely dark rock’n’roll,    fect setting, one would        Fast-forward to September       suddenly, he isn’t a strag-    “A            Complicated      “Howl”, interspersed with
 they now offer soulful folk    think, for a rock’n’roll       2005. A very good sopho-        gly indie-kid anymore, but     Situation” elicits memo-       just a few of their older hits
 and pained blues full of       band to crank up the amps      more album and more than        a wise story-teller from the   ries of Bob Dylan when he      such as “Love Burns” or
 spine-tingling desperation.    and show the kids a good       three years later, I give       past, in a black shirt and     still had a voice, “Fault      “Spread Your Love”. No
 Patricia Mussi is enrap-       time. Sadly, the impres-       BRMC another go. (Also,         jeans, cowboy boots, and       Line” is a beautiful folk      “Six-Barrel Shotgun”, no
 tured.                         sion that came across was      I feel grateful to now be       harmonica frame.               number reminiscent of          “We’re All in Love”. But
                                that BRMC (as they’re          living in a city that, unlike                                  Led Zeppelin’s singsong-y      funnily enough, nothing is
 I was a bit skeptical about    known to fans and sylla-       certain northern Italian        He performs the first three    moments, and “Devil’s          missing. On the contrary:
 going to see Black Rebel       ble-economisers) were in       university towns, actually      songs solo in the spotlight,   Waitin” would have made        here is a band that seems to
 Motorcycle Club again.         bitter need of someone to      has a gig-scene that does-      just him, the harmonica,       a perfect soundtrack for       finally have come into its
 They had rather under-         show them a good time.         n’t make you jwant to go        and the western guitar, and    “Cold Mountain” if the         own. While Hayes and
 whelmed me when I’d first      Whether cool, self-impor-      home for more spaghetti.)       establishes an incredible      White Stripes hadn’t beat-     Turner are still no
 seen them play. In             tant or inexperienced, it’s                                    stage presence. My friends     en them to it: “I’ve seen      Jagger/Richards            or
 February 2002, my expec-       surely not right for a band    Off to the 9:30 Club. The       and I all agree that the way   the battle/and I’ve seen the   Tyler/Perry as far as stage
 tations were high. The         to stare at the ground for     lights go down; out of the      the guy moves is certainly     war/the life out here/is the   presence is concerned,
 band’s      first    single,   the duration of an entire      wings comes Peter Hayes,        not PG-13, and his con-        life I’ve been sold”, Hayes    they have certainly written
 “Whatever Happened to          concert. They didn’t           one half of the band’s mas-     stant stare directed at the    sings to a simple, but         an album now that they
 My Rock’n’Roll (Punk           engage the audience or get     termind duo, strangely          audience conveys a sense       utterly gripping melody,       feel comfortable enough
 Song)” had been cleaning       the crowd going.                                   trans-      of uncanny seriousness.        his clear voice soaring into   with to open up to the audi-
 out     auditory      canals   Afterwards, the                                                “I’ve got a sympathetic        the starry night-sky which     ence. You can simply tell
 throughout the western         tour bus was                                                   noose,” he croons at one       we are by now imagining        that they’re having fun
 hemisphere. their debut        sitting on the                                                 point - and this guy really    above us.                      with “Howl”, and so will
 album was dark, moody,         street just                                                    has the air of someone                                        you, even if the songs are
 and full of sexy riffs – and   outside the                                                    who has stood up on the        Then Robert Turner,            sad.
 they looked good, too.         club, but I                                                    gallows with the rope          Hayes’s co-delinquent-
 Three angry young men          was      so                                                    around his neck: tragic,       rocker-gone-Civil-War-         Patricia Mussi is a 2nd
 wearing tight black            disap-                                                         tough, and sentimental.        soldier, and drummer Nick      year M.A. Student con-
 leather     and                                                                                                              Jago enter the stage and       centrating in European
 s u l l e n                                                                                   “A           Complicated       pick up the pace, launch-                   Studies.
 frowns, tall                                                                                  Situation”, “Fault Line”,      ing into “Ain’t No Easy
 and skinny                                                                                             and     “Devil’s      Way”, a swagger-
 to a fault.                                                                                                                  ing slide-guitar
                                                                                                                              stomp: “It’s easy
                                                                                                                                  to fall in
                                                                                                                                    love, but
                                                                                                                                       there

								
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