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					                           The Quarterly
                          Peace Corps Ukraine Bi-Monthly Volunteer Newsletter
                                          www.pcukraine.org              October/November 2008

                      We all have the things
                       that get us through
Amy Rivard
                                                                                 cities around Ukraine (Nova
TEFL XXXI Stari Kahovka
                                         Also, to focus on only the negative     Kakhovka, Berislav, Brylivka,
I loved my time in Ukraine; all          would be unfair to Ukraine and          Kiev, Lvov, Yalta, Kremenchug,
twenty seven months of it! Every         misleading about my time here. If       Kracni Luch, Haivoron, Kirovograd,
person I met and spoke to, every         I made a list, there would be more      Sevastopol…)
new and interesting dish that graced     pros than cons. There are a few big
my lips, and every holiday and           things that wouldn’t have happened      *Produce: I will really miss all the
celebration I took part in—it was all,   without Peace Corps, without being      fresh, seasonal fruits and vegetables.
frankly, magical!                        in Ukraine, and because of them I       And not only the produce, but the
                                         have no regrets about coming here.      people I’ve become accustomed to
Riiiight. This is what I’m                                                       buying from and talking to in the
supposed to believe, to tell myself       So when I return home (plane lands     bazaar. There’s nobody quite like
every waking minute, and, come           in Charlotte, NC on Dec. 3), these      my spice lady, chicken lady and fruit
November, relay to friends and           are the highlights I’ll focus on, the   lady.
family. All that but with more           aspects of volunteering that have
exclamation points.                      made it enjoyable, memorable, and       *Shocking Ukrainians with my
                                         bearable:                               freakish American ways: iced
There was a point when I did feel                                                coffee/tea/water, never being cold
this way, when all the nuances of        *Khersonskaya Oblast PCVs: we           (no coat, no stockings, no worries),
Ukraine were either interesting or       are few, but strong. Plus, we cook      holding lessons outside, showing
eye-opening.                             well together.                          the Simpsons as a lesson, not liking
                                                                                 mayonnaise on pizza, preferring
As in every situation, there are         *Baking: Betty Crocker and I got        to sit on the floor, curing my colds
silver linings and their antitheses,     very close over these last two years.   with vitamin C and rest as opposed
moments of joy and depression. As        I now make a mean apple pie and         to vodka with pepper/honey/vodka,
my time in Ukraine comes close to        chocolate cheesecake from scratch.      sitting on a desk during lessons,
ending, I make it a daily routine to                                             sarcasm…
focus on the happy and dismiss the        It was fun baking even when I had
annoying. I don’t want to return         to do so by candle light for a few      *5th and 6th form: They’re
                                         months when my kitchen light was        enthusiastic, easily impressed and
                                         out, when I had to wash everything      probably the only people, God love
                                         in the bathroom sink because the        ’em, that think I’m “cool.”
                                         kitchen one overflowed and left         I’m sure there are many more
                                         water all over my floor, even when      positive things I’ll recognize once I
                                         it was baking alone and meant           leave Ukraine. The happy times will
                                         devouring the entire cake/batch of      become wonderful memories; all the
home and only relay negative tales.      cookies/bread in 36 hours.              men-coughing-in-my-face moments
                                                                                 will suddenly just be comedy.
It would be too easy to focus on the     *Reading: finally made time for all
feelings of uselessness, to remember     those books that have been on my        So for now, these final months, the
every baba and dog that’s barked at      Amazon Wish List. Total: 50 and         focus is optimism and appreciation.
me while running, and every lesson       still reading                           Go Ukraine! But also looking
that’s gone from pleasant to chaos                                               forward to that December day when
in 0.4 seconds. But no bad day I’ve      *Travel: Scotland (St Andrews,          I can get home and start working on
had is unique; we’ve all been there      Edinburgh), Poland (Krakow),            all this perspective.
and have the metaphorical t-shirt to     Austria (Vienna), Czech Republic
prove it.                                (Olomouc, Prague) and all the
  The Quarterly
   Got Photos?                               PCV Stats                 The                        Quar-
                                                                           Editorial Staff:
Please share your photos with us!                        Last This         Ashley Hardaway          TEFL XXXI
We can scan the print and return it                  PST Issue Issue       Jessica Benes              TEFL XXXIII
to your mailbox. (Just make sure                                           Suzy Shovlin               TEFL XXXIII
                                                                           Contributing Writers: Amy Rivard, Ash-
to include your name on the back of                                    ley Hardaway, Jessica Benes, Jessica Cowing,
the photo.) Please write a little cap-   TEFL XXXI   101    89 82
                                                                       Thomas McCloskey, Nick Reynolds, Nick
tion that includes the names of those    CED/YD XXXII        73        O’Neill, Josef Bartels, Beth Kempton, Virginia
pictured (if possible), and where and    61 58                         Lee Roberts, Safety and Security Council,
                                                                       Sophia K. Sokolik, Carolyn Knoll, V. Paul
when the photo was taken. For digital    TEFL XXXIII  86    76   69    Sussman, Curtis Jensen and Jasmin Williams.
pics please send us HIGH RESO-           CED/YD XXIV 64          58        The Quarterly is a bi-monthly newsletter
LUTION BLACK AND WHITE                                                 published by Peace Corps/Ukraine Volunteers.
PHOTOS to ukrnushcho@yahoo.                                            The views expressed are the views of the authors
                                                                       and do not reflect those of Peace Corps/Ukraine
com, and put prints in the NuShcho!?                                   or the U.S. Government. All submisions to The
                                                                       Quarterly are subject to editing at the discretion
                                                                       of the Peace Corps/ Ukraine Deputy Director.
                                                                           Editorial Guidelines:
                                                                           1. Articles should be no longer than 1000
Did you know the gestation period for elephants is 22                  words and can be in English, Russian or
months? Whenever I think about how long Peace Corps                    Ukrainian.
                                                                           2. Authors should keep in mind that while
service is (or seems to be at times) I always think “Well,             The Quarterly is a forum of expression for Peace
at least I don’t have to be pregnant for 22 months!” Next              Corps Volunteers, it is also read by organiza-
                                                                       tions and individuals, in our host country and
time you’re at school, or experiencing one of those winter             other countries, who have no affiliation with
                                                                       Peace Corps.
nights that begin at (guffaw) 3 p.m., and time is moving                   3. The Quarterly editors welcome submis-
slower than the line at your produkti store, think of the              sions from Volunteers, PC staff, and other
                                                                       writers that are informative on subjects of a
elephants and be glad.                                                 general interest and/or are entertaining. The
                                                                       content and tone of articles chosen by the edi-
                                                                       tors for publication should be consistent with
Sadly that’s the breadth of advice I have to share with Group          Peace Corps Volunteers’ mission and with the
                                                                       position of Peace Corps as guests in Ukraine.
32-35. But don’t despair. Inside Thomas and Jess share with us         Due to all of the above circumstances plus
there “Top ten” list of things to do in Ukraine. Nick Reynolds         limitations of time and space, articles may
                                                                       be changed without the author’s knowledge
takes us on a guided tour of his group in a Chauceresque ode.          or consent.
“Healthiest Volunteer” Sophia Konstantinovna answers your                  Articles that will not be published:
                                                                           4. Profanity in any language (English, Rus-
health questions and the Environmental Working Group takes             sian or Ukrainian);
care of a day of teaching by providing us with a lesson plan!              5. Sexual innuendos and blatant references
                                                                       to individuals that may be perceived as degrad-
                                                                       ing to the individuals referenced;
I hope this issue finds you all in good spirits and health.                6. Religious content that espouses one
                                                                       religious belief over another belief and / or
Take care of yourselves. Remember the elephants.                       is disrespectful of the religious beliefs of the
                                                                       magazine’s readership.
                                                                           7. The Quarterly editors reserve the right to
All my best,                                                           add a disclaimer to an article or request a revision
                                                                       if content of the article could be misconstrued
Ashley                                                                 by the PCV community or wider readership;
                                                                       or content of the article could be thought of as
                                                                       culturally insensitive to Ukrainian or American
                                                                       culture; content of the article misrepresents the
                                                                       mission and goals of the Peace Corps.
                                                                           How to Submit Articles:
                                                                           Volunteers who would like to submit
                                                                       articles should email them to “ukrnushcho@
                                                                       yahoo.com”. Please remember to: 1) include
                                                                       a descriptive subject, especially if you send an
                                                                       attachment, 2) save attachments as a text file,
                                                                       and, 3) include your name, group and city, e.g.

         Group 31 Farewell Issue                                       “Aaron Kersey TEFL XIX, Zdobulniv”.




                                                                                   October/November 2008
                           Group 31 Superlatives!
Renae Addington – Most likely to                                                Angela Perry – Most successful
give her host mom power of attor-       Ashley Hardaway – Most likely to
                                        be “fixin” to do something.             long distance relationship.
ney.                                                                            Freeman Pruett – Most likely to
Andrea Ahlert – Most likely to be       Keith Hayden – Most likely to wear
                                        zoo keeper’s shorts.                    have stolen Peter Gallagher’s eye-
upset about their superlative being                                             brows.
“most likely to be found in the PCof-   Ann Hunziker – Most likely to
                                        extend... forever.                      Joshua Rahman – Most likely to hit
fice”.                                                                          on a babushka.
Carol Arnold – Most patient.            Bethany Irwin – Most likely to
                                        dance on top of any furniture.          Nicholas Reynolds – Most likely to
Phil Arnold – Most desired.                                                     survive solely on Mivina.
 Sarah Babineau – Most dramatic         Curtis Jensen – Most likely to write
                                        about Ukraine, snow, ice, babush-       Sarah Richardson – Most likely to
William Baksi – Most precious.                                                  marry a Ukrainian.
Dan Baris- Best Russian                 kas, Ukraine, lines, green cabbage,
                                        lines,quarantines, Ukraine, hope,       Dana Ripperton – Most likely to
Kelly Bowden – Best photographer.                                               need an escort home.
Adam Brown – Most likely to be          fear, hunger, Ukraine.......
                                        Jason Jimenez-Bragdon – Most            Amy Rivard – Best camp counselor.
found at Celentanos.                                                            Shelby Roberts – Best karaoke
Nicholas Alan Brown- Most likely        likely to ruin The Beatles for every-
                                        one.                                    singer.
to run for public office.                                                       Katie Sheets – Most Ukrainian.
Nicholas Mark Brown – Most likely       Christina Jobe – Most likely to be
                                        the future ambassador to Mother         Sophia Sokolik – Healthiest.
to regret regretting.                                                           Jocelyn Soto – Best Ukrainian.
Rebecca Brown – Most likely to          Russia.
                                        Brittany Kay – Nicest Volunteer.        Aaron Sparks – Most likely to get
have a wrecked looking stray dog                                                lost in Kiev
tagging along behind her.               Sunny Kersevich – Best Listener.
                                        Jennifer Kidd – Most well read.         Erica Stirn – Most likely to not hear
Lauren Bruce – Most likely to miss                                              about a consolidation and continue
Nathan.                                 Danielle Kuczkowski –Most
                                        likely to have an addiction to the      Jazzer-sizing.
Kathryn Burden – Most likely to                                                 Alison Stohr – Super Volunteer.
adopt a liter of kittens.               NewYorker.
                                        Dana Kuefner – Most likely to           Clara Strothers – Most genuine.
Emily Chaples – Most adorable.                                                  Y Paul Sussman – Most enthusiastic
Matthew Clark – Most likely to          gGAahAaahhhhhhhhhhh.
                                        Christopher Kuitems – Most Train-       (when not medicated).
change their name to Dmitry Kra-                                                Katherine Thekan – Best travel
schevko                                 ing Site Visits.
                                        Simone LaPray – Best storyteller.       buddy.
Stephanie Clark –Most likely to                                                 Hannah Thoburn – Most likely to
leave cat balls on a table.             Abbey Lemesany – Most likely not
                                        to give a shit.                         get carded.
Jessica Cowing and Thomas Mc-                                                   Cody Thompson – Most likely to
Closkey – Cutest couple.                Linda Ligon – Best apartment.
                                        Stephanie Lillegard – Most likely to    become Mrs. Cody Stirn.
Edward Decker – Most likely to ap-                                              Edward Thompson –Most likely to
ply to an Ivy League school, and let    abandon friends for Ukrainians.
                                        Annmarie Maher – Most likely to         be sporting the PC logo.
everyone know he’s doing it.                                                    Jason Tolub – Most likely to be a
Justin Deyo – Most sarcastic.           be harassed by Will Baksi and Max
                                        Pruett.                                 child trapped in man’s body.
Melissa Dorn – Most likely to be                                                Katie Trescott – Most likely to ask
found online.                           Rebeca Martinez – Most likely to
                                        befriend anyone.                        for a Kit Kat and get cat food.
Grant Earich – Most in love with                                                Lauren Tuzzolino – Best hair.
Grant Earich                            Kimberly McCray – Best accent,
                                        y’all.                                  Trina Van Schyndel – Most domi-
Derrick Eddleston – Goofiest Vol-                                               nating basketball player.
unteer.                                 Catherine Meyers – Most likely to
                                        finish your sentence for you.           Elizabeth Walker –Most fashion-
Eduardo Garcia – Most likely to                                                 able.
ruin a political career.                Sarah Montgomery – Most talkative
                                        Diane Norman – Most impressive          Michael Wasiura – Most random.
Gillian Grant – Best laugh.                                                     Laura Wilkinson – Most likely to
Diana Groves – Most abrasive            belcher.
                                        Elizabeth Owens – Most likely not       know something about you before
English speaker; Least abrasive                                                 you do.
Ukrainian speaker.                      to conform.
                                        Virginia Pasley – Most likely to        Jasmin Williams – Most likely to
Erin Guntly – Most likely to smug-                                              never leave site.
gle a small vermin on the plane back    COS early to strengthen the Obama
                                        presidential campaign.                  Aaron Yerke – Least likely to bathe.
to the U.S.
Kelly Guthrie – Best host.
Hillary Hanson – Best smile.
  The Quarterly
                                                                                      Jessica Cowing and Thomas Mc-
  Senoritus                                                                           Closkey
                                                                                      TEFL XXXI

   In January of last year, I was        Last New Year’s; while many of you
stranded in my Oblast center after a                                                     Funny story. True story. I was
                                         were watching Dick Clark in America,         recently at a giant summer camp that
poorly-timed exit from a meet-your       I was getting sprayed with champagne
neighbor’s event which was my first                                                   rhymes with Dig Zang. At some point
                                         by my cluster mates in Lvov. I got into      during the camp, the facility it was held
trip away from the captivity of my       a scuffle with an entire local train car
site. Don’t misunderstand me–I love                                                   at celebrated a birthday (that’s right,
                                         last Easter over my refusal to close my      buildings have birthdays), so there was
Ochakiv. If a PCV’s time at site can     window on a packed local train on my
be compared to captivity in a zoo (and                                                a big gathering with lots of speeches,
                                         way to Beloplia, a willage in Sumska         songs and performances, which were
I think that it can and should), then    Oblast. I ate awesome Shwarma in
Ochakiv is that really nice zoo in San                                                all wonderful. However, for the life
                                         Evpatoria and crappy shashlik in             of us, all the Group 31 Volunteers and
Diego that I’ve never been to but that   Simferople. I’ve seen the bus/train
I hear has dolphins who do tricks.                                                    I could do during all of this was pass
                                         mondo-vokzal monstrosity of Ivano            someone’s internet-capable phone
Anyway, I ended up staying with a        Frankivsk, and played softball in K-
Group 29 Volunteer who had a large                                                    back and forth so we could check
                                         Grad. I’ve been to Lugansk. *cough*          our emails to see what our “cash in
map of Ukraine in her apartment which    I’ve even seen some people who sup-
she had decorated with little thumb-                                                  lieu” amounts were. It wasn’t that we
                                         posedly saw someone who swears they          weren’t interested in the concert thing,
tacks in all the places she’d been. At   saw Tima-T (and perhaps DJ Glee) in
the time, I remember thinking two                                                     but just that we were pre-occupied with
                                         Odessa. Like I said–I get around.            peacing out, pun intended. This raises
things: 1) there was no way I would be
as well-traveled during my time here                                                  an important question: what exactly
                                            However, with only three months           should we be doing with our last few
as she was, and 2) she must be doing     left in my service, there’s one dot that I
cart-wheels with that little time left                                                weeks in Ukraine? Traveling a little
                                         can’t wait to color in–the America dot       more to get to that last remaining Ob-
in her service. Well, here I am, about   on the other side of my apartment that’s
18 months later, and my own map is                                                    last? Giving away that iron we won’t
                                         been ignored for almost two years. I         be able to pack? Digging in and finally
decorated with several shotgun blasts    haven’t been home once during my
of color representing dozens of trips                                                 writing those lesson plans down for
                                         service, and my family, while great          our successors? All valid suggestions,
of varying work-related legitimacy       with the packages and letters, hasn’t
and my carpet is worn-thin with my                                                    and I’d love to answer them, but I’m
                                         visited me here. So, the countdown           a little busy trying to refresh Orbitz
hand-springs of celebration as a PCV     is on for COS, and I don’t think I’m
who’s almost done.                                                                    and Travelocity.
                                         alone in circling November 18th in my
   I really have been everywhere.        planner 47 times.

Top Ten Things to do in Your Last Three Months in Ukraine:

  10) Finally take all those pictures         7) Make and sell samahone.                3) Write kind little notes to all the
 of the trees stuck in man holes, the                                                 special people who have made your
   funny store sign that has a word                                                   service awesome, and if you haven’t
    misspelled in English and the         6) Break it to your students that            had a good service, leave Polaroids
babushkas selling stuff by the street.    “willage” is actually pronounced                of your middle finger on their
  Or make a video of the truck that       “village” and you’ve just been                            doorstep.
comes by twice a week to take your        letting it slide for the duration of
apartment block’s trash and the line      your service because you think it’s
    of people that forms behind it.       funny.                                        2) Re-enact the end of the movie
                                                                                       “Money Train” on the Kiev Metro.
                                          5) Give stickers, sticks of gum and
  9) Instead of teaching, show the           high-fives instead of grades.
   “Spiderman” trilogy 8 times.
                                             4) Start singing “America the               1) Promise to come back really
    8) Find out who this “Taras              Beautiful” on your bus ride to
       Shevchenko” guy is.                         Borispol Airport.


                                                                                                October/November 2008
Top Ten Ways to Spend Your Re-Ad-
justment Allowance:

 10) Paying off loans–or for plastic
surgery to more easily hide from my      6) Laser eye surgery. (sings) “I     3) Buying 500 gallons of Starbucks
        student loan officer.          can see clearrrrrly now; Ukraine is     Coffee and several clean I-V lines
                                       gooone...doo-do doo doo doo, doo                  and syringes.
                                       doo doooo dooo doo! I can see all
 9) Netflix–catching up on 2 years                                               2) Traveling around America to
                                           ob-sta-cles in my waaaay!”
  of missed new-releases. REAL                                                 finally see the parts that I’ve been
       WORLD: DENVER!                                                          teaching about with authority that
                                        5) A new car! Actually, after taxes
8) Buying a new computer and iPod      and given current gas prices, maybe      I haven’t actually seen. Who the
  that I really could have benefited    a Moped would be a better choice.     hell knows what California is really
from during my Peace corps service.             You win, world.                            washed by?
    Spider Solitaire, hoooo-rah!
                                                                            1) That memory-erasing procedure
  7) Updating my now versatile, but    4) Buying a Taco Bell. Cut out the from “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless
stained and very threadbare wardrobe             middle man.               Mind” to forget all about buying train
  at Old Navy and Banana Republic/                                          tickets, mean babushkas and crazed
             Gap outlets.                                                               street dogs.




All smiles at COS: Group 31




  The Quarterly
Ode to a Group 31
( [*] denotes edited for content)
Nick Reynolds                          I don’t know, nor do I care           true path
TEFL XXXI, Chernivtsi                  From whence you do hail               Our liege and our guide
                                       Just keep the jokes coming            Our support and our staff
Humbly before you I stand here         And good mirth will prevail           So confessing I’ll say something
today                                                                        You need not to heed
With a wish, and a promise             Simone you are Asian and that’s       But not one of your emails
And a few words to say                 something neat                        Did I ever read
                                       Your company is enjoyed
I’ve strived and I’ve struggled        And considered a treat
Locked tight in abode                  But as we homeward head
To compose for your hearing            And you stay in this place
This simplistic ode                    I say “peace out sucka!”
                                       And vanish without a trace
Born like the dawn, when the moon
the sun chases                         Thomas, and Jess, I can’t their
I present to you now                   names besmirch
The Ode to Our Faces                   And this satire I must offer
                                       Causes me profound hurt
Some I don’t know beyond the stray     All I’ll say to defame you
glance                                 To sully your names
And it seems fates conspired to        Is you’re both short
deprive us the chance                  But we like that
                                       If it’s all the same
Don’t despair at the thought that we
won’t be acquainted                    Hillary, nay bunny, you whimsi-       Hartley, or Sarah, or Babuneau-
For the beastly bards soul             cal girl                              boo
Is both wretched and tainted           On a parchment of paper               The moments we’ve shared border
                                       I unlocked your world                 on taboo
You’ve avoided the blows               And before you a maxim                So I’ll spare all the details
I would deal when you share            I dare say is pure wit                And shuffle and sink
Your most precious of thoughts         For you wrote                         But those saucy moments I’ll
When your soul, you do bear            And I quote                           convey
                                       “Make the most of it!”                To all folks, with a wink
So to you I say “Good morn, good
day, and good night,”                  Melissa, in Brody, we shared a        Diana and Brit and Angela too
And I honestly hope that you have      great day                             The poor girls who endured what I
a nice life                            Good turkey, grand people, and        Would put them through
                                       kareo-kay                             Angela, a gem, my girl you know
To the rest, my dear chums, my         In ten years, I do hope               me
bosomy pals,                           You won’t mind in the least           God bless you, good nuptials,
I now turn my attention                When I’m homeless and show up         And say “hi” to Obi
Now you’ll be regaled                  To share your kin’s Thanksgiving      Brit was a challenge who righted
                                       Day feast                             my straying
Jason, I marvel at your expression                                           Yet come nights at the sauna
and wile                               Max is a legend                       She was joyously playing
You entered old Ukraine                As you all surely know                And D, you old club
The paradigm of style                  And a verse would hardly do jus-      You batter and storm
Your suit and black hair               tice                                  But you’re kind and you’re sweet
Sharp and with shine                   To his everyday show                  And your home’s always warm
It’s a form and a fashion              So I’ll say just one thing            You’re my sister, treating all
And I wish it were mine                And it pertains to [* ]               And will smilingly greet
                                       Whenever I’m consuming liba-          As long as we show up
Wills and Lanuck, no a Texan, nay      tions                                 With two kilo’s of
both                                   I hope you’ll be near                 Bloody red meat
Well by George and great Scott
I will now swear this oath             Allison’s the map, the compass, the   Liz, a true rebel
                                                                                     October/November 2008
And honored, true friend
                                                                               It’s da [*]
Who would bend over backwards         Sophia, you saved me
If thusly she could bend              When I was a pilgrim
                                                                               Kelly I’ll tell thee, only something
I will dig for you ditches and bask   And took me into your home
                                                                               you’ll know
in your shine                         With good food and sweet grim
                                                                               He’s forever your servant
And when you hearken to heaven        Your bounty of knowledge
                                                                               Old Jasper Bellows
I know…you’ll be led…by Opti-         Advises my diet
                                                                               He’ll dwell in thine house
mums Prime.                           And one of these days
                                                                               In his own locked room he’ll stay
                                      I’ll certainly, really, have to try it
                                                                               And dutifully invest
Justin Deyo, deyo, daylight comes
                                                                               In a S.O.L.K.
and me wanna…                         Trina is high and she towers so tall
Oh sorry, I know                      And she’s always my first pick
                                                                               Becca, I betcha
I’m sure that this joke               When we play basketball
                                                                               The next wedding you see
Is terrifically old                   You’ll remember the day
                                                                               Won’t involved rent-a-cops and
I think you are wise                  When we raged on the court
                                                                               tear’s flowing
And have wonders to share             As we formed a team
                                                                               Say “hi” to your parents
Such as voiding your bowels           And conquered our sport
                                                                               And be hopeful of bliss
On the beach, they were bared
                                                                               As if your siblings get married
                                      Keith has a dog
                                                                               You’ll have Kelly as your sis
Danielle we will always               And he sat on a log
Have mountains of might               It was down by the bog
                                                                               Now Bethany, I’ll say
Such as when you and Nate held        And he saw a big frog
                                                                               Gave me wondrous play
me                                    The dog’s name is pup
                                                                               Where at language refresher
And warmed me that night              It like a good sup’
                                                                               We gathered one day
So as thanks for your heart           But only when din’
                                                                               She dazzled and awed and moved
Which conquered the cold              Is served from a cup
                                                                               us with tricks
                                                                               While she [*]
                                      Uptown and Downtown
                                                                               As a mouse [*]
                                      Senator and Prof
                                      These Nick’s are two Brown’s
                                                                               Jenn Kidd is my gain
                                      At whom we won’t scoff
                                                                               And a newfound embrace
                                      Both taking charge and loved by
                                                                               As I yesterday learned
                                      the ton
                                                                               She’s of Minnesotan race
                                      But which is which?
                                                                               But blessed and rest assured
                                      I don’t know, who is who?
                                                                               She’ll continue to shine
                                      Whose that one?
                                                                               And her heart will always
                                                                               Be kept close to mine
                                      Oh Shelby, you know you’re by
                                      far
                                                                               Josh is mellow
                                      My sweet girl
                                                                               And known
                                      Your red hair is the torch
                                                                               As a good natured fellow
                                      Which brightens my world
                                                                               Who never hollers, or cusses,
                                      For all gossip and tales
                                                                               Or frowns or bellows
                                      You’re the first one I seek
                                                                               His calm is a charm
I honestly hope                       And for your sake, I hope
                                                                               Which lulls us to sleep
You find the color of your rainbow    You grow dimples on your cheek
                                                                               Then he robs you your cash
Mike is from Michigan                 Brucey, I find that I’m loath to         We are bound by our region
He’s Michigan Mike!                   inform                                   Which is thicker than blood
A force to be reckoned with           That Detroit is the hood, the asun-      I’d lay down my life
At land, sea, or where you like       der                                      To save those who you love
You silently highlight                It should be torn
My beer bloated gut                   Please don’t cap me for that lil’
As you exercise daily                 quip
While I’m stuck in a rut              And I’ll promise I’ll bring you Per-
                                      rier with lime
 The Quarterly
(“Ode to 31” Cont.)

Aaron Yerke we promise                                                  You’ve housed me, you’ve fed me
                                   Makes you better than most           And once nursed me too
That your last name’s good as
gold                                                                    A pigeon brought message of Chad
                                   Andrea the pleasure is with you in   saying “bye”
Though with alphabetical order     the meeting
I’m sure it gets old                                                    But we dare not distress
                                   In Kyiv where I’m promised           For Ukraine gladly said “hi”
Yerke, Yerke, Yerke, Yerke,        That you I’ll be greeting
Yerke, Yerke, Yerke, Yerke         You flatter me oft
He’s a jolly good boy                                                   Chris Kuitems I’m sorry for I dare
                                   And there’s no lack of praise        not refrain
Not at all a cross jerky           As we both pretend we are noble      From assaulting the obvious
                                   And good in our ways                 Attacking your name
Jocelyn I’m told
You speak like a god                                                    When it comes down to brass
                                   Emily Chaples I’ve a secret to       tacks
The Ukrainian tongue               confide
Which to me is a slow trod                                              It is hard to refute
                                   That there’s a dream of mine         You most certainly are
I beseech thee to stop             Which I can no longer hide
My great consternation                                                  Most decidedly cute
                                   I long to seek shelter
To provide me – and Grant –        And bed down in the whirls
With much needed translation                                            Katie, a challenge, a mysterious
                                   Of the abundant and rapturous        jinx
                                   World of your curls                  A lady, a damsel
The Nosivka girls
Each one a true jewel                                                   And a saucy little minx
                                   Ed Thompson, my friend, I entreat    I could rib you with coy words
Who saved me                       you to look back
Stranded in Kyiv                                                        A cheeky barrage
                                   To a time when we first              But I’d rather I didn’t
As I was a fool
But there’s also a reason                                               And you gave me a massage
Their essence I should imbibe
For it’s true that the one                                              Jazzy I know that truly just that
Known as [*]                                                            You sparkle in all ways
They survived                                                           And all know that’s a fact
                                                                        But your dumb rat – little Dusty-
She’s Laura                                                             Is a terrible slag
Perhaps the most colorful girl                                          I’d happily toss him in a river
Who radiates the energy                                                 After tying him in a bag
And brilliance of the world
From where comes a creature                                             Dan we once spoke a short time on
As wild as thee                                                         the phone
An Evian beauty                                                         On a day when I lounged
Naughtily plucking “apples” from                                        And refused to leave home
trees                                                                   Much of your virtue I’ve heard
                                                                        Which leaves me to say
Hanna, we’ve spoken not nearly                                          You sound like a good lad
                                   Started out on this track            And that way you should stay
at all                             You, Todd, Y and I
So to mock thee is folly           All took a final seat
An error, a fall                                                        Oh Tuzzy, my old girl, the shine of
                                   In a Mexican food treat              your smile
All I know is you’re young
And this leads me to see                                                Is more than enough
                                   Diane makes me wonder and ponder     To drive any boy wild
That without ever a doubt          this nightly
You’re much smarter than me                                             I don’t know where you’re going
                                   If ever she did something            Or what is your plan
                                   Wrong or unsightly                   But avoid really high shelves
Dear Derrick, be true, with Min-   I strive in my days
nesota at heart                                                         Or marry a tall man
                                   And toil in labor
And know that your state           To be more like you
Sets you apart                     Our responsible savior
In the name of the loon                                                 Ashley, a scholar and renowned
It’s for you that we toast!                                             beauty to boot
                                   Adam, my mate, you’ve been a host    Whose siren-like ways leave me
As it’s clear that the “sota”      of true blue
                                                                                October/November 2008
exposed                                mein Gutt                               You honor is daily
My defense so choot-choot              You scare me, I’m frightened            With antics and wiles
But the thing that spreads your fame   My heart has just stopped               Evoking from we
o’er the town                          By the strictures of order              The most genuine smiles
Is NuShcho, oh wait,                   You direct my ways                      We listen with glee
Is that rag still around?              As I march to your beat,                To each of your rants
                                       As I heel, as I stay                    O by the way where can I get
To married couples I’ll leave you      But truly I love thee and know that
in your bliss                          I know
Brought from sweet matrimony           That wee children, sweet flowers
You sealed with a kiss                 and bunnies
And since you are loved and loved      Make your heart glow
thusly zealously
I’ll only acknowledge your joy         Now Cody, I’ll spare thee, and leave
By eyeing it jealously                 you with wishes
                                       I pray that the roaches
Gillian my dear, a treat full of       Stay off of your dishes
grace                                  I’ll give you some bleach, good soap,
Who has oft [*] dared                  germ free food
To lick on my face                     And would that you have gadgets
Would that we could skip off           and [*]
Into our nonsense lands                To bring you good mood
Riding manatees with bat wings         Be comforted knowing on day you
Drinking purple stuff from cans        will die
                                       And Mr. Clean in bald glory             Some of those camouflage pants?
Jimmy, your jacket, may it billow      Will sweep you up the sky
when raised                                                                    Curtis, my uncle, my brother, my
You’re a legend, a hero                No Dana, squim farble soo Lamble-       love
And worthy of praise                   blobbershagblosignitterroo              My bod adheres to yours
You will stay in our minds             That gibberish and jamboree and         Like a hand to a glove
Like a pleasant old itch               clutter of sound                        When we spoon it is good and honest
But I must honestly say                Was in honor of your silliness          sweet nookie
You’re one crotchety [*]               Which is so profound                    We’re together as one
                                       It gives me great joy                   Like a “Dehn and Neech” cookie
Hey Decker, I’d deck you, for          Being able to say                       But to truth I’ll now shift and with
knowledge so vast                      I’ll never lose you, Erica will find    silver dipped tongue
But we bonded on that mountain         thee                                    Not that I know …but I’ve heard
Just a year in the past                Should you run away                     That this guy is [*]
I’ll honor your friendship                                                     I must say that I hope on this path
And with you I’ll break bread          Grant we all know and how could         that is life
Just as long as you promise            we fail                                 Our ways cross and I swear
It won’t go to your head               As he amuses with antics                I’ll take thee as wife
                                       That might land him in jail
Oh Abbey, dear sweet one, with         We bonded as brothers                   Now there are those of you I’ve not
yellowy hair                           And strode cheek to cheek               offended with bother
Who answers each question              To sign a [*]                           But I feel it’s my charge
With a short “I don’t care”            In the very first weeks                 To give you due honor
You’re free with your smokes                                                   I’ll not say ill words or spit heathen-
And the same with your wine            We’re your posse, glad army, jovial     ish lashes
A lover of [*]                         troop                                   That would splay you wide open
And having a good time                 Now give us a giggle                    With emotional gashes
Deep in my heart you’ll dwell there    Come one, give us a woop!               But rather I’ll say as few words
for long                                                                       Who saved their sweet souls
As I dream of the laughter             Y, my true guy, and my first bos-       By barring me from their worlds
[*]                                    omy bud
                                       Together we’re as easy
Oh Erica, Frau Stirn, meine Fraulein   As two pigs in the mud
 The Quarterly
The Quarterly: Volunteer Life
                                         Anne Marie, steal a glance, and enjoy     celestial power
(“Ode to Group 31” cont)
                                         her fine way
                                         Erin Guntly is kind, a helper, a          Now you presume the cessation
 Sunny is bright like the Helios
                                         gem                                       has arrived
 sphere
                                         Becca Brown let me grovel and wor-        And you’ve noticed one tithe I still
 Sarah, engaged, is a doll and a
                                         ship at your hem                          have not tried
 dear
                                         Amy Rivard completes and rights           But before I endeavor to honor his
 Virginia endures a life near to
                                         all my wrongs                             good name
 Grant
                                         Kim McCray is an inspiration and          I plead with you, don’t hate me
 Catherine Meyers is more lovely
                                         helps me be strong                        I’m marred by my shame
 than the thorny rose plant
                                         Sarah Montgomery is a true friend
 Katie Sheets is so sweet, so neat
                                         each heavenly hour                        All insults, all ribbings, all jokes
 and complete
                                         All these girls give us hope with their   and all jests
 While Clara Struthers to behold
 is a treat                                                                        Were all done in good nature
 Christina Jobe is a queen I marvel                                                So take them as best
 at daily
 Elizabeth Walker is graceful and                                                  I love you and hold you and thank
 larks about gaily                                                                 you dear ones
 Annie we long to hold to our                                                      And would have that you love me
 breasts                                                                           As a genuine son
 And Rene makes our hearts swell
 in our chests
 Catherine Burden is glory to behold,
 night or day



Group 33 Retrospective
Jessica Benes                            to take everything in. The build-         of wide-eyed Americans. Us,
Group XXXIII, Kozyatin                   ings and the people and the smells        babbling in English, our heads
   One year ago in October, I ar-        and the markets. I always do that         thrusting this way and that, yelp-
rived in Kyiv. The weather was           in some place new. Sit back and           ing in fear when a car passed too
cool, but not cold yet. I was tired      take in the sights. I don’t do that       close. I remember standing with
and nervy. I followed a line of          here anymore.                             my friend, Sarah, looking through
volunteers through customs and              They took us to a university           the bars of the fence. We decided
out onto the grounds of a different      where we spent two days attending         that we were animals at the zoo
country. Each of us had about 100        orientation meetings. We weren’t          because we were caged. Little
pounds of luggage. All we owned                                                    babies, completely dependent.
in this world. It took a while, be-                                                    Now, maybe I’ve graduate to a
cause there were more than eighty                                                  toddler.
of us. None of us looked our best.                                                     Then we were put on buses
Our ponytails were lopsided and                                                    again and driven off to our training
hair stuck to the sides of our faces.                                              sites. I received a piece of paper on
There were buses waiting. I had to                                                 the bus. My new family: Svyeta,
use the toilet, so, while we waited                                                Vova, Halya, Oksana. How would
for everyone else to filter out of the                                             I survived if I hadn’t met you?
airport, a group of us went back                                                       A new group arrived this Octo-
in to go to the bathroom. (Hah!          allowed to leave without an escort        ber. Several of them will be living
See how I used the word ‘toilet’?)       because we didn’t know anything           in the village where I trained. Wel-
Everyone around us spoke in a            about the country and couldn’t            come to Group 35. And congratula-
foreign language but I didn’t know       speak the language. A guard had           tions, Group 33. Let’s accomplish
any words yet. Mostly, I existed in      to walk us across the street to the       great things this          year.
a fog of anticipation and fear.          store. I wondered what he was
   We drove a long ways and I tried      thinking, escorting a large group
                                                                                            October/November 2008
                                            The Quarterly: Group 31 Farewell
Anti-Cli-                          ings pertaining to everything
                                   from insurance policies to DOS
                                                                         completing my thought “…any-
                                                                         ways that’s my plan. What are
matic                              (side note: do yourself a favor
                                   and just write it now) there was
                                                                         you doing?” He was either too
                                                                         polite to admit he had not heard
Epiphanies                         always a barely audible murmur,
                                   an undercurrent of activity in the
                                                                         my response or too engrossed
                                                                         in himself to care for he took a
Ashley Hardaway
TEFL XXXI Brylivka                 form of a question being passed       breath and began “well I have
                                   around from volunteer to volun-       a couple of interviews lined up
   I’ve become a master at         teer. This questioned terrified me    at…”
avoiding things. I avoid the       and so I did my best to look like        Throughout COS I would
“shady bar” in my town. I evade    I was truly engrossed in the For-     hear of people’s plans. Plans that
boredom by never accomplish-       eign Service Exam lecture (I am       involved new cities, girlfriends,
ing too much at school so that I   never taking this) and avoided        boyfriends, college roommates,
have something to do at night.     eye-contact with anyone in my         pure-bred dogs and hybrid cars.
I duck into closets and empty      immediate vicinity. That night I      And now I am here in Kyiv, in
classrooms whenever that one       let my guard down and as I sat        my last full month in Ukraine
creepy teacher walks down          poolside pondering the purpose        and I feel so foolish, because
the hallway. I am careful not      of sheep at a hotel (What were        I always thought “I have two
to speak too loudly (or at all)    they for? Grass-cutting? Pas-         years to figure it out.” And then
on trains, so that people do not   toral charm? Were wool mittens        later I eased my nerves with “I
ask me where I come from and       for sale in the non-existent gift-    have a whole year left,” and
have to face the millions of       shop?) the damn question found        somehow this last year has
questions that accompany the       me; “So, what’s your plan after       escaped me and now its forty
answer. COS conference was         Peace Corps?” It hung gracefully      days. And, like my reflection
no different:                      in the chlorine-infused air for a     in the freakin’ mirror that was
   “There’s a mirror over our      second or two before pummeling        hanging over my bed, there’s no
bed,” was the first thing Joce-    down to my level. Wha Bam!            way I can escape it.
lyn said as she strode into our    I simultaneously felt my lungs           I’m no longer in my denial/
hotel room. “It’s such a waste!        syllables and implications.          and I should be searching
Should we ask one of the mar-       Did I have a plan? No. Did I         online for a job, but instead I’m
ried couples if they’d like to      want this volunteer to know          at a coffee shop with a friend.
switch?” We plopped down            that I didn’t have a freakin’ clue   Here is the little epiphany we just
on the bed and considered the       with merely two months left of       had (and mind you, this might
options. Theoretically it was       service? No, and I’m much too        be the espresso talking): Life
a nice, albeit slightly creepy      vain (I’m working on it) to go       happens here (tah-da!). People
gesture. But knowing me, I’d        the sincere route. The person        buy pets. People meet and get
screw up the delivery. I’d go       behind the question, a group         married. Dinners are cooked
up to them with the intention       31er who has that rare Gats-         and emails are written. I always
of saying “Hey, our room has        byesque way of talking to you        felt like my life was “on pause”
a mirror on the ceiling— want       like you’re the most interesting     here and now I am realizing I
to trade?” but instead say some-    person alive, took a seat to my      was wrong all along. I should
thing along the lines of “Want      left and patiently waited for my     have stopped fixating on life
to see the mirror that’s over my    reply. So I copped out by turning    “stateside” so much because a
bed?” We decided against it         my head to my right, mumbling        location, or a plan, won’t make
and later found ourselves with      something incoherently into the      you happy, you do.
the surviving members of our        wind, and then turning back to          Or at least that’s what I tell
group in one giant conference       face him pretending like I was       myself.
room. Throughout the meet-
  The Quarterly
                           The Price of a Ticket
Nick O’Neill                             to the first car. I prepare myself       city in the US.
YD XXXIV, Kamin-Kashyrskyi               by stripping down to just a pair of          It is poorly lit, cold, with one or
   I begin my trip to Crimea on a        soccer shorts, hydrating, applying       two people barely visible as they
seven-hour over-night bus to Kiev.       face paint, and of course a short        puff on a cigarette in the shadows.
I’ll meet up with my friends in the      prayer to Saint Christopher.             You can easily see the tracks be-
morning, and tomorrow night we’ll           I strap the bags on my back and       neath through the large divides on
catch our train for a 16-hour ride       take off. I feel like I’m in the belly   the floor.
to the Black Sea.                        of a giant cargo ship as the train           Each car has a personality, a
   At about 2 a.m., somewhere near       sways down the tracks.                   feel to it. Some cars are young,
Lutsk, I shoot out of a light sleep. I      Each group of people I pass has       some old, some angry, some tired.
forgot the most important and obvi-                                               Sweat rolls down my face. I move
ous thing I needed when I headed                                                  into the private sleeping compart-
out the door of my flat. I forgot                                                 ment of the train called “Koopay”
my ticket. I think about getting off                                              and I immediately stick out like a
the bus and making my way back                                                    vagabond from the far reaches of
home, 3 hours behind me.                                                          the train that has over stepped his
   I don’t know where I am or more                                                place, trying to put on a different
importantly the bus schedule at the                                               man’s suit.
next stop, plus I don’t have enough                                                   Maybe the face paint was over-
money to go there and then back to                                                board. People move out of the way,
Kiev. I make some desperate calls,       a different dynamic, a different         some return to their room to close
waking up friends (Insert Emily and      feel, and a different story. It’s like   the door. The kids are taken out
Lindsey); I need reassurance. I need     walking through the walls of row         of the hallway and the valuables
some to tell me it’s going to be all     homes, briefly stepping into the         are locked in the safe. I take dirty
right. I feel like a child calling for   lives of strangers.                      looks as I excuse my self down the
his mother after a nightmare.                Some play cards, some drink,         length of the hallway.
   I get to Kiev at 7a.m then head       many talk, few sleep. I pass by a            Finally I pass back into my world
to the cashier. It takes me, with the    beautiful Ukrainian girl who sits        where I go unnoticed. Many of
help of a friend (insert Tenzin),        by the window crying, she has left       these people have probably made
almost three hours but I manage          someone behind in Kiev. I feel like      and abbreviated version of my
to buy another ticket, replacing         an extra in Before Sunrise. I want       one-man exodus.
the one I forgot, on the same train      to sit and hear her story, but I’m in        The overcrowding and noise
exactly 15 cars away from my             no state for first impressions so I      becomes pleasant. My phone rings
party.                                   keep moving.                             and I make a scene trying to locate
   When we board the train I head            As I make the transition from one    it somewhere inside of my growing
to my new seat planning to meet          car to the next I have to navigate       mountain of bags. My friends want
up with my friends after the tickets     through a maze of doorways. There        to know where I am. I hang up, strap
are checked.                             is usually a crowd for the bathroom,     the bags back on, and decide not to
   I have two bags, and in an ill-ad-    on top of the people who have            answer my phone again.
vised attempt to be chivalrous I take    stepped ‘outside’ for a breeze.              After passing through count-
the bag of food we have brought for          This is my least favorite part       less stories, I didn’t expect to pass
the trip. I immediately regret that      because I have to rearrange the          through mine. But there I was, and
decision as I begin my trek from         bags I carry so I can maneuver and       the confused looks on their faces
car 1 to 15. It seems miles away.        operate the doors, trying to avoid       confirmed this was an experience
The humidity and stench when I           people while hiding the fact I’m         that would remain my own.
first board is over-whelming. I long     American. I re-check for my wallet           Shock, disbelief, I never thought
for the breeze we’ll get when the        and passport.                            a train could be so alive, conflicted,
train rolls down the tracks.                 The passageway in the middle         and revealing.
   After my ticket is checked I get      is a ‘no mans land’ that reminds
ready for the long regretted journey     me of any dark alley in any major
                                                                                           October/November 2008
                         EWG: Success Stories
Josef Bartels                          cess that day in May. Your very         languages, then explain what their
TEFL XXXIII, Valikimosti               own PC Ukraine Environmental            slogan were trying to defend or im-
   On a sunny day in May this          Working Group is moving fast            prove (they could pick from water,
spring, my sixth grade students        to jumpstart a Ukrainian Green          air, earth, forests, oceans, etc.).
were actively engaged in creating      Revolution (is that safe to say?).          The application part of the lesson
and making their own environ-          This lesson has already been taught     was the greatest part and can be
ment slogans to help change the        to 300+ kids providing both new         done in at least two ways. I had my
perceptions in their own country       environmental vocabulary and            students draw one picture including
about the environment. It was a        creative outlets that are community     part of nature and one environmen-
great feeling to be doing something    specific. My students were amazed       tal problem. Each student created a
more than correctly pronouncing        when I told them that they could        slogan in Ukrainian to go with their
“global warming” for the class to      write their slogans in Ukrainian        picture – this became their home
mimic. As you may remember if          as long as they had the English         task. Alternatively, you can pass
you grew up in a state with lots of    translation.                            out pictures if you have them and
highways, public litter used to be a      The lessons starts by introduc-      let the students come up with their
huge problem in the USA. Thanks        ing the word “slogan” and asking        slogans for their assigned picture.
in large part to a huge change of      everyone to brainstorm all the          Based on their ability, you can have
public opinion, including com-         slogans they knew. My kids gave         your students write some sentences
mercials, signs, and laws, things      me slogans about everything from        about what their slogan means and
have turned in a positive direction.   chocolate to mobile phones. Then        how it can help the environment.
A huge part of this campaign was,      I handed out a whole bunch of               If you have any questions
and still is, slogans. Everything      American environmental slogans          or want this or any other com-
from “Don’t Mess with Texas” to        in both English and Ukrainian/          plete environmental lesson
“A Clean Earth is a Clean Home”        Russian, one to each student (the       plan, just email, call, or SMS
created a green movement and a         kids favorite was “Polar Bears for      me. Josef.bartels@gmail.com
new view of what our parks, cities,    Global Cooling” which Bohdan im-        8067 117 6267
and highways should look like.         mediately countered with “Snakes                           8063 471 6292
   Predictably, I cannot claim sole    for Global Warming”). The kids
responsibility for my dreamy suc-      had to read their slogans in both

Beth Kempton
                      Healthy Living by the Beach
TEFL Group XXXIII, Kame-               effectively and about the practice      a knitting picnic in Pochyiv the
shevaha                                of Yoga for relaxation. Every-          first weekend of October, a 5k run
   In the beginning of September,      one had a wonderful time, and           on Thanksgiving weekend in No-
the Healthy Lifestyles Working         definitely entertained the passing      vember, and an ice skating trip in
Group had a retreat and meeting        babushkas.                              Kiev in early December. The ice
in Frunzi, Crimea. We stayed at           In the evening, Sophia Sokolik       skating trip will be accompanied by
Frunzinets, a small sanatorium,        led a mental health seminar on the      an HLWG meeting, but all PCVs
only a few minutes walk from the       Sedona method, “How to Culti-           are welcome to participate in ice
beach. The beautiful weather al-       vate Positive Thinking.” During         skating and enjoy Kiev.
lowed us to have a productive and      the mornings, several volunteers           All of the retreats are open to
pleasant outdoor meeting near the      enjoyed the last of the summer          everyone and we would love to
water.                                 weather, running along the beach,       see you there! Whether you want
   After the morning meeting and       paddling catamarans in the lagoon       to find out more about the working
lunch, we relaxed with yoga on the     and in general taking in the tranquil   group or just relax and enjoy some
beach, led by Virginia Lee Roberts.    scenery.                                healthy activities. Watch the Friday
Some of us learned how flexible           The Healthy Lifestyles Group         Digest for dates, details and contact
we were, while others took a few       has more retreats planned for the
more falls onto beach towels. But      rest of 2008: a trip to explore caves
we all learned how to stretch more     in Ternopil oblast in late October,
  The Quarterly
     Public Service Announcement from
      the Safety and Security Council
    Even though you are around what   back is turned.                         and Security about regarding policy
you think are peace loving hippies,      Remember that the S&S council        and procedure. Please feel free to
remember they steal too. Since I am   exists for several reasons. One is to   contact your Safety and Security
responsible for the article,                                                          Council member should you
I have the liberty of using                                                           have any questions without
my Quarterly space to rant                                                            hesitation.
a little. Here it is: Hippies                                                                   I will take this
stole my backpack! What is                                                            opportunity to remind you
the moral behind this? Even                                                           to be safe and careful in
if you think you’re at a place                                                        any situation you may find
that is safe and secure, you                                                          yourself in and never let
should always be careful.                                                             your guard down, even if the
For example, those of you                                                             people around you are wear-
who have a safe, regular                                                              ing head wreaths and sun
route around your village for                                                         glasses with peace signs on
running, remember that you                                                            them or t-shirts with stupid,
stand out like a sore thumb,                                                          dancing, multicolored bears
which increases your risk of an       be the voice of volunteers regard-      on them. You can never be too
incident. Or, those of you with       ing safety, such as procedures and      cautious. On a side note: Should
friends from school who you trust     guidelines. Another, more impor-        you find yourself sitting in your
with your lives, remember that they   tant, is to be an ear for volunteers    kupe opposite a person wearing a
have friends who might not be as      who might have questions or con-        t-shirt that says “Yankees Suck”,
concerned with your safety. Or,       cerns about their individual safety.    “Lynard Skynard” or “I (shamrock
if you are invited to what appears    This making us a buffer between         shape) Guinness,” please notify
to be a large collection of hippies   Peace Corps and the volunteer for       Max Pruett immediately.
gathered to enjoy a few evenings      privacy reasons, should this be
of eclectic music and innocent fun,   what a PCV wishes. Perhaps you
even they will rip off all of your    simply have an idea that you would
socks and underwear when your         rather not speak directly to Safety

 Recipe Cor-                             Directions:                                   Indian Chai
                                                                                 Directions:
 Virginia Lee Roberts                    • Sautée cubed eggplant in oil
 Group XXXII, Vinnytsia               until translucent & soft. (Hint: If        • Make 2 cups black tea in
                                      it begins to burn, add juice from       saucepan.
         Ratatouille                  olives, flat beer or water.)               • Add 2 cups milk & 2 table-
   Ingredients:
                                         • Add onions, green peppers,         spoons sugar or honey.
olive or sunflower oil
                                      zucchini, then tomatoes (in that           • Add spices: ½ tsp. carda-
1 large eggplant (or 2-3 small
                                      order).                                 mom, ¼ tsp. cinnamon, sprinkle
ones)
                                         • Add garlic, black olives &         of nutmeg, 4-6 whole cloves
1 large onion (or 2 small ones)
                                      parsley if desired. Add spices.            • Bring to a boil & then reduce
green pepper or zucchini
                                         • Simmer over low heat for 20        to simmer for 10 minutes.
6-8 ripe tomatoes (or tomato
                                      minutes.                                   • Pour through strainer &
juice in winter)
                                         • Serve with rice or pasta.          serve.
black olives (optional)
                                         Enjoy!
garlic (optional)
                                                                                Note: Great in the afternoon or
parsley (optional)
                                        Note: It will taste even better the   evening with cookies!
dried oregano, basil or Italian
                                      next day, so make extra!
spices
                                                                                       October/November 2008
         Ask the Healthiest Volunteer...
Sophia K. Sokolik
                                            Dear Part-timer,                    The work group strives to promote
TEFL XXI, Stary Pochaiv
   Dear Miss Healthy,                       Foods rich in Magnesium helps       community outreach, encourages
   I just had a terrible breakup with    prevent allergies. This includes       education about healthy lifestyles,
my unfaithful Ukrainian girlfriend.      almonds, cashews, sesame seed,         and develops strategies for healthy
I have no appetite, and I noticed        and lima beans. Also, natural so-      living.
that I when I do eat, I have some        dium is found in zucchini, celery,        Don’t be jealous—just come to
new found digestion issues. For          carrots, beets… and seaweed helps      one to one of our retreats! Or apply
some reason, I heard you were            to prevent water from getting into     to become a member!
voted healthiest volunteer, so…          the cells, which otherwise results        Yours,
any insight?                             in stuffy nose, watery eyes and           —Miss Healthy
    —In the Dumps                        swollen tissues.
                                            Yeah, about being most healthy         Dear Miss Healthy,
    Dear In the Dumps,                   —Thanks! I mean, even if I don’t          It seems like you are smart.
    Have you ever noticed that even      exercise, I can still be healthy,      Tell me, why is it so difficult to be
if you think about eating a particular   right?                                 healthy and what can we volunteers
food, your glands will produce the          Yours,                              do to maintain our health? I’m
proper digestive juice to digest that       —Miss “Healthy”                     worried about the next two years
food? Well, not all problems of                                                 in Ukraine.
digestion are because of the food           Dear Miss Healthy,                     —Uncertain
eaten, but because of mental strain         Is drinking water really im-
while eating - jealousy, hate, worry,    portant? The Ukrainians seem to           Dear Uncertain,
resentment, etc. Such negative           do fine without it. By the way, it        Attempting to be healthy is a
emotions add to our production of        sure must feel amazing being the       difficult task during Peace Corps
mental acids, along with an upset        healthiest volunteer around, huh?      service because there are so many
chemical balance. They use up all        I’m a little jealous.                  changes to deal with, both con-
of the soft chemical block structure        —Doubtful about Water Ben-          sciously and subconsciously. How-
of the bloodstream such as the           efits                                  ever, don’t fret! Have tenacity! The
chemical element called Sodium.                                                 Healthy Lifestyles Work Group is
    Good digestion of good foods            Dear Doubtful,                      a special resource for YOU!
is very important because it gives          At birth our bodies are 97% wa-        On behalf of the HLWG (Healthy
each organ of the body it’s own          ter, and as adults we are 70% water.   Lifestyles Work Group), I would
needed balance of chemicals.             Premature aging is associated with     like to invite Uncertain, and the rest
Also, don’t drink with your meals,       a further loss of total body water     of you out there to participate in our
as this dilutes the digestive juices     (i.e. 60% water). It is important      upcoming retreats! The Healthy
necessary to digest your food. By        to drink 6-8 glasses of filtered or    Lifestyles Workgroup provides
the way, yes, I was voted healthi-       bottled water daily to keep your       plentiful opportunities for personal
est, but I’m not sure why. Little        body youthful, hydrated and flow-      development. We work to stimulate
as anyone knows, I ate like 20 of        ing. It’s good to know that filtered   and refresh PCVs so that they can
those coconut balls a day at the         drinking water is very clean, but      reach their full potential. We’ll get
COS Conference… (!)                      not energized; you can energize it     you active, informed, feeling posi-
    Yours,                               by leaving it in the sun for a short   tive, relaxed, and energized!
    Miss Healthy                         period of time.                           Yours,
                                            You ask about feeling amaz-            Miss Healthy (a.k.a. Sophia K.
   Dear Miss Healthy,                    ing… well, ever since beginning        Sokolik)
   I usually don’t get allergies, but    of my PCV service, it seems like
at times they arrive out of the blue.    my health has deteriorated, but I
Which nutrients may come to the          still feel amazing. How come?
rescue? Oh, and congrats on being        Well, I am an active participant
voted most healthy!                      in the Healthy Lifestyles Work
   — Part -time Allergy Sufferer         Group, and they keep me going!
   The Quarterly
 Live and Learn: Make Your Own Wasp
Geoffery Gese
YD XXXII, Chernomoskoe
                       Traps
                                        not have a problem with wasps, but       hung that bottle above the food we
   From August 1-14 th , SVIT           I do because I’m allergic to them.       were trying to protect.
Ukraine (www.svit-ukraine.org)          I also noticed that my bee sting            It worked! The wasps smelled
along with the local organization       kit provided by PC was expired.          the beer and found their way into
Zeleniy Svit organized an interna-      I began to think of a plan, yes, A       the container only to be trapped
tional workcamp in which three          PLAN, on how to rid ourselves of         once inside.
Peace Corps Volunteers, Brian           these pests. I started by putting a         I was encouraged to make more
Couzelis (32), Geoffrey Gese (32),      hole in an empty two-liter plastic       of them and soon found I had over
and Chris Russel (33) took part.        bottle of beer. Yeah, beer. I placed     six of these containers placed
   The goal of the camp was to pull     the first hole about three inches        around the eating and food storage
fallen trees out of a forest reserve    from the bottom of the container         areas of the camp.
in order to increase fish flow and      and then put sugar water in the             By now I was killing – yes,
install three informational signs       container. I filled the container        KILLING – up to fifty or more
about the biological resources in       until it was about one quarter inch      wasps everyday while at the camp.
the area. The twelve volunteers that                                             So if you are camping and you
came represented five countries:                                                 encounter wasps, remember this:
Ukraine, America, Switzerland,                                                   they like sugar water and beer.
Croatia, and Sweden. The two                                                        Here is how to design such a
week work camp, one of the seven                                                 trap:
sponsored by SVIT Ukraine this                                                      1. Take any plastic drink-
last summer, was successful. The                                                 ing bottle and punch a hole about
following is the experience of                                                   three inches from the bottom of
Geoffery Gese, a three time PCV,                                                 the container. Make sure this hole
and his contribution to the work                                                 is about three-fourths of an inch
camp.                                                                            around so the wasps can get into
   This is a true story and the                                                  the container.
names have not been changed to                                                      Then, unscrew the lid of the
protect anyoe. I want to thank                                                   container and add the bait. Sugar
Brian Couzelis because without          below the hole I had made.               water, beer, fruit jams or jellies all
his camp, I would not be able to           I then tied string to the container   work. Add enough water to reach
tell this story. Brian’s organization   and hung it on the line of string I      about an inch from the hole you
held a wilderness camp and he will      had prepared for such an experi-         made. Then, secure the lid on the
clue in on the camp itself. I am        ment. I began to notice these pests      container.
writing to explain how to make          flying into the container and then          2. Use twine, thin rope, or
Wasp Traps.                             not being able to get out. Soon          even dental floss, and secure it by
   The first day of the camp we         they tired and began to fall into        tying it to the top of the container.
campers noticed a large amoung          the sugar water.                         Then place the container in an area
of wasps. Those three-fourths of           More followed: flying into the        frequented by the wasps.
an inch bees that like to swarm         container. Soon, many of them               I suggest hanging them above
around you and eat whatever they        were fighting to get out, but there      food or placing them on the ground
want. They were pests to all of us,     was only the one hole.                   to the food you notice the wasps
but what to do about it?                   The next morning, we camp-            are attracted to.
   I began to notice what types of      ers noticed over twenty of these            3. Watch and wait. Empty the
food these wasps liked; sugar or        wasps lying in the sugar water. I        container when you notice the bait
anything with sugar, like cookies,      was encouraged to make more of           full of dead wasps; just add more
the sugar bowl, and candy. They         these traps. This is what I did – I      bait and re-use. I made over ten
were always at the food preparation     used another empty two-liter bottle      of these traps and they work.
table flying in and out of every-       of beer and put another hole in it,         Good luck!
thing. Now, I know that you may         but this time, the bait was beer. I
                                                                                          October/November 2008
    The Case of the Missing Underwear
Carolyn Knoll
TEFL XXXII, Poltava
   One evening a group of PCVs             visited her family a few months be-    tor and the panties had disappeared.
visiting together in Kyiv for their        fore. Her companion also thought       It was deduced that a person or
mid-service medical were trying            it was curious.                        persons had picked them up, either
to decide where to go for dinner.             The other two volunteers re-        the thief returning to the scene of
They were staying in a nice apart-         turned a little while later and the    the crime or another person who
ment very convenient to Maidan             story was related and discussed        couldn’t resist them. All this made
but couldn’t seem to get their minds       thoroughly. One volunteer was          the volunteers a little nervous.
together. Two of them were anxious         pretty sure the “victim” had               Calling Papa Sergey was an op-
to check their emails at the Peace         dropped them on the way out to         tion, of course. “But what would we
Corps office before dinner and the         dinner. “Most likely they were         tell him?” someone asked. It was
other two were starving and didn’t         caught in the sleeve or pocket of      getting late on a Thursday evening
want to wait. So, in spite of the fact     your jacket and fell out when you      and besides it seemed so silly.
that they wanted to spend the time         left” she said. The “owner” of the     There wasn’t enough evidence to
together, the two groups went their                                               really indicate a true crime. And
separate ways. This story is being                                                besides, the “owner/victim” still
told by one who is not a witness                                                  couldn’t remember if she brought
to the “crime” but heard it second                                                them with her.
hand. She has tried to make some                                                      Needless to say, the group of
sense of the facts and asks that, if                                              PCVs started to get a little carried
any person reading this story has                                                 away due to fatigue. One of them,
any information, to please contact                                                pretending to be Papa Sergey,
her because the victim wants to                                                   asked “And were you wearing
remain nameless.                                                                  these panties when they turned up
   The two volunteers who were             panties asked if the two late comers   missing?”
starving freshened up and grabbed          had noticed any panties near the           They also envisioned headlines
jackets as it had turned a little chilly   elevator when they came back.          in the Kyiv Post stating “Peace
that evening. They were so hungry             Several other theories were         Corps Volunteers and the Missing
they didn’t want to venture far from       discussed. One theory was that         Underwear” which would certainly
the apartment so they decided to eat       someone had broken into the apart-     be bad press for the entire organiza-
at a restaurant they had spotted in        ment, stolen items and dropped the     tion. Finally, they all decided to let
the vicinity.                              panties on their way out.              it rest and get some sleep but they
   After an enjoyable dinner, they            However, after a careful search     have not forgotten the incident and
returned to the apartment. As they         of belongings, nothing else was        are still talking about it.
left the elevator on the floor where       found missing. Another theory              To this day, the case is unsolved
the apartment was located, they            was that a sexual deviant had          so, I reiterate, if anyone has any
noticed a pair of ladies panties on        broken in and was fascinated with      information about this incident,
the ground next to the elevator. One       the cute pink writing on the elastic   please let the author know. The
of them, the alleged “victim” leaned       band and decided to take them but      nameless “owner/victim” will be
over as close as she could to get a        was startled in the hallway caus-      contacted along with the proper
better look at the article of clothing     ing him to drop them. But, the         authorities.
and said “Hmmm, that looks like            problem with all the theories was
my underwear” and thought it was           the “owner/victim” couldn’t recall
curious that a pair of panties with        whether she had brought the panties
the “Hanes” brand in pink across           with her to Kyiv.
the elastic band would be sold by             As the evening wore on, the
any store in Kyiv, Ukraine. She            volunteers became quite concerned
had purchased a similar pair or two        about this issue. One of them had
from a store in the States when she        checked the ground near the eleva-
   The Quarterly
         Some of Us Extend You Know...
 Y Paul Sussman
 TEFL XXXI, Volodymyr-Volynsky was, well, kind of a joke. After
   *Edited Version             this, pretty much any EFL gig’s           such: I’ll write a brief overview
                                     gonna seem like the [I can’t use of why I’ve chosen to extend al-
  “Write an article about why        the word in this publication, but ready did that), then write down
you’re extending; and make it        it rhymes with “witties.”]
funny.”                                 Plus, in its current state, my
                                     SPA grant project is an wobbling
   Well, then. Short lady, tall      atrocity that’d give Brezhnev
order: on one hand, I can be         a half-chub. (Nastia, if you’re
funny from time to time (you         reading this, I should make it
know, that sliver between “my-       clear that I’m talking about a
opic/pedantic” and “disgust-         different SPA grant – NOT the
ing/offensive”); on the other...     one that, uh, the SPA commit-
my reasons for extending are         tee funded. Yeah, not that one.)
all pretty mundane.                  So I should probably work on
                                     getting that together, and that
   I want to see my kids gradu-      might take a while.
ate (or, at least, my seniors);         Can I say “half-chub” in
really, the only reason I’m still    this publication? Because, you
in Peace Corps is because I love     know, for the record there IS a a a few things I’ve learned over
those little guys. They’ve got       small North American freshwa- the years here (none of that “be
a lot of things stacked against      ter icthyoid thusly named; not patient; get a tutor; drink lots of
them (including having me as         to seem petty or trivial, but it is fluids” nonsense, but rather the
their teacher), and I figure I can   entirely plausible that I could truly important details), and put
probably help them get ready for     be referring to said fish. I mean, straight a few things I’ve been
entrance exams in the spring to      I’m just saying.                    wanting to say for a while.
                                        Finally, there’s the home
                                     front. I live in Wisconsin. I love     1) You can use insta-soup
                                     my state; I really do. That said:   packets to flavor pasta, instead
                                     have you SEEN Wisconsin? In of sauce, or salt & pepper. Works
                                     November? No one wants to like a charm, seriously.
                                     return home exhausted, trium-
                                     phant, having come full circle         2) If you make hretchka, then
                                     in realizing their own version      wait for it to cool, add sour
                                     of the Heroic Journey, to find, cream (the 20% fat type, not
                                     well, that. Moreover, the job the 25%) and lightly salt/pep-
                                     market kind of knobs jockey per it, it kind of tastes almost
                                     right now, and I’m not exactly exactly like cottage cheese. I
                                     in possession of a competitive don’t know why anyone would
                                     resume. (I’m still pretty sure the really want cottage cheese... but
make up for that.                    only reason I was accepted into there you go.
                                     Peace Corps was because of my          Newton got gravity; I get
   Since I’m planning to be an       incriminating photographs of substitute cottage cheese. Awe-
EFL teacher after PC, I also         Ron Tschetter. Yeah, that sen- some.
wanted two full schoool years of     tence’s gonna get cut.)
teaching, since my first semester       So, my plan for this article is     3) You can use tea-bags here,
                                                                                 October/November 2008
                                                                         it right now: first, it’s pricey
like, forty billion times. I don’t                                       to go to Poland (and it takes
know why: I think it’s the paper.                                        2 hours each way just to cross
Or the fact that I never tried it                                        the border!) Second, they
in the States.                                                           speak a weird Portuguese-
                                                                         Swedish version of Ukrainian
 4) Everyone’s teeth get                                                 that’s wicked hard to under-
worse.                                                                   stand (and harder not to laugh
                                                                         at; it sounds like Cyrano de
 5) Everyone’s English gets                                              Bergerac reading Yesenin.)
worse.                                                                   Check my passport: I’m clean.
 6) Everyone’s bum-jitsu gets                                            The thing about Poland is that
much, much better.                                                       it’s kind of like a hip indie ver-
                                                                         sion of Ukraine... that can’t get
    7) Everyone says, “The Kite                                          enough of George W. Bush.
Runner? Why in God’s name                                                It’s nifty, in its own
would I read that?” then ends                                               messed-up way, but not
up doing so in the middle of                                             something you need to get a
January when there’s nothing                                             dose of every seven days.
                                      9) Everyone thinks that we,
to do. But we never talk about
                                  the far-west volunteers, either           12) I don’t even like ska, but
it. We never talk about it... not
                                  a) learn some wispily beautiful,       I just got into The Specials,
to our friends back home, or
                                  spectral variant of Ukrainian          and they’re freakin’ awesome.
even to our families, or wives;
                                  that no one else understands,          You should look them up.
and if our children someday ask
                                  or b) just speak surzhyk in
about what we went through
                                  practice, but act snotty about           13) Fifteen, Max?
“over there,” we just smile,
                                  it to cover. The truth is slightly     Sixteen? You know it’s not a
ruefully, and lie, and send them
                                  more complex: in truth, we             competition, right?
off to bed.
                                  actually learn the tongue of
                                  wolves, who then convey our              14) Avoid ticks; they
   8) Juan Carlos is a cool dude.
                                  messages to the river-tribes and       make you crazy.
OOOH! Whatcha gonna do,
                                  great clans of the world-tree. If
Campos? You gonna censor
                                  you’ve ever listened to Bjork,            15) To settle the matter,
that? How you gonna? Go ahead.
                                  it sounds something like that.         once and for all: white bread
I dare you: TRY it. Ki-yah! Ninja
                                  Ask anyone.                            trumps all. Brown bread is
strike!
                                                                         for Nazis: and you’re not a
                                       10) How’s David Bowie do-         Nazi, right?
                                     ing these days? Is he okay? I
                                     haven’t heard from him in a          16) Don’t even bother; I
                                     while. I hope he’s doing alright. love Curtis far more deeply,
                                     He’s a nice guy.                  securely, and knowingly
                                                                       then you ever will, or even
                                        11) Five or six people, now, could imagine. ...but, uh, in,
                                     have asked me if it’s true that I like, a straight way….Kind
                                     spend every weekend in Poland. of.
                                     (I live about 17km from the
                                     border.) I don’t know where this     17) So, obviously, I’m
                                     rumor started, but let me quash not “The Pope,” per se;
  The Quarterly
THE FIRST WAY THIS COULD
GO                                          INTRODUCTION TO THE HARROWING
                                                    OF HALYCHYNA
A long sad sweep of unbroken
Gray
                                              Throughout the giant dirt fields
                                           Under the ruined cupola’s September shadow
Hard-fought phlegm given up to night
                                           At the lee of the lingering autocracy’s blade yields
Gray
                                           To historical neck-slung grindstone inertia the furrow,
                                             Slow, of the eroding collective
That which seemed worthwhile months
                                           A sweat-sweet plead to the sky, impassive.
ago now
Gray
                                              From such rank mouths
                                           Under the foiled Union of a half-continent of lumber,
Grass swaps mud swaps
                                           With so few prepositions as to confound sympathetic
Gray
                                           behemoths
                                           And the behemoths’ jingoistic younger
Chipped landings blossom from cracked
                                              Set come the ignorant assertions, the prideful
foundations
                                           Foot stamps in the dirt, so uncivil.
Gray
                                              By absent means
Mornings on box springs sharp against
                                           Lies drunk, blind really, in the dirt, our red-eyed uncle,
shoulder blades
                                           The cooperative empty enterprise crumbles, like broken
Windy afternoons gusting with mist tang
                                           beans,
of onion peels
                                           Together jigsaw a glossy-cheek-denting pillow of rub-
Gray
                                           ble,
                                              As our uncle snores at the sun and farts
Boughs of stippled fruit trees in which
                                              And sleeps away from the present in fits and starts.
Dumb-toothed and frostless boys disen-
tangle
                                              His dream column
Distended and useless lines with twisted
                                           Rolls forth: rumbling German planter-spreaders
slabs
                                           From under each which squeek a dozen axles the sol-
Of rough-planed lumber long ago cracked
                                           emn
to length
                                           Terms of the inky lease that permits such gleaming in-
Over the swollen knees of cirrhositic
                                           truders
handymen
                                              Their profitable, tires-full-of-water, and systematic
Gray                                           Curtis Jensen
                                               TEFL XXXI, Zaliztsi
How quickly do days together smudge
A long sad sweep of unbroken
Gray

or

Days quickly smudging together
A long sad sweep of unbroken
Gray

Curtis Jensen
TEFL XXXI, Zaliztsi


                                                                              October/November 2008
                                                   LORD, GIVE ME A MIDDLING LOVE
                                                                                        Curtis Jensen
                                                   ‘Lord, give me a middling love,
                                                                                         TEFL XXXI, Zaliztsi
                                                   Not a love new, not a love old,
                                                   But an ill-timed, wide-eyed, descartesling,’

                                                   Begs knock-kneed Saint Iov
                                                   Of steely late September, cold
          Lovely                                   And unorthodox him, his hairshirt not covering
 Govern gray across the atmosphere
                                                   His knock-kneed shoulders where stand perched both
 Smear figure among charcoal collection            the Victoria-crowned pigeon and the common ground-dove
 Filigree of quiet deed                            His halo their gizzard less pitchblende more fool’s gold
 Rain an amazing illumination                      Poised seemingly to either squawk or belch or both
 See this mourning in this night be gone             at the flat, solsticious evening,
 This vigil cast our vigil last our vigil past     Apexing bob-eggs of some orbit-shaving pendulum.
 Our signal hour signal broken dawn of day
 What sovereign will is left to sail upon          A tempera pirate squatting to shove
 Swallowed are feathers of wings of stagnant       His native bride to the Ark’s dark hold
 flight                                            Iov is not. A man of passion struggling
                                                     for the thin spaces in between
 Lost be the rite of secret compromise
 Slipping between green tapered trees              The fingertips and the glove?
 Small space between set of footprints unfore-     A forgotten maiden name, untold,
 seen                                              Carved anon, on the headstone of a King.
 How long the weary wait of words
 How strong the tender trill of a single song of
 a little bird                                      THERE IN THE DARK, CROOKED
 When life we face to face confront                 AND ACHING    Curtis Jensen
 When everything done is under sun                                            TEFL XXXI, Zaliztsi
 We question living and dying and trying and           Who are you and what are you doing-
 pain and hate and love and war and more               Asked the moon of the child’s broken arm,
 Who are we that we may have had                       There in the dark, crooked and aching?
 Where are we that we may be not lost
 What am I but perfectly placed in imperfect           I’m keeping to myself, I’m minding
 beauty                                                My own business here on the failing farm.
 That mercy may yet absolve even me                    Who are you and what are you doing?
 That I might be called what each eternally
 numbered day is:                                      Asked the child’s broken arm, refusing
 Lovely                                                The withered aunt’s stinking hair-charm
Jasmin Williams                                        There in the dark, crooked and aching.
TEFL XXXI, Sakyriany
                                                       I’m here to give suckle, I bring
                                                       Folded nettles, the toe-ear of a gendarme;
                                                       Who are you and what are you doing?

                                                      The handsome officer asked while eyeing
                                                      Me up and down, me a plain-slacked school-
                                                    marm.
                                                      There in the dark, crooked and aching,

                                                       The wind is the days are the place that is pass-
                                                    ing,
                                                       And to you shall come no further harm.
  The Quarterly
“Sweatin’ balls ladies.... sweatin’
balls...” Joaquin Compas’ statement to
two elderly Ukrainian gentlewomen on
an overnight summer train.
                                         “Well, do you know of a place that has
                                         asphalt?” - Evan Brooks confronted by
                                         a muddy field by his counterpart and
                                         brainstorming ideas to save his baseball
                                         camp in rainy weather.



“I never eat ice cream by myself - I’d feel like a fat person.” -
anonymous PCV.




                        “We Came here to put $%&! on your walls.” - The Com-
                        municative method explained.


Illustrations were
submitted anomyously




                                                                    October/November 2008
                                    Papa Smurf...So hot right now.




I feel ya’ Smurfette...I feel ya.




  The Quarterly
        September 2008                      October 2008                 November 2008
                                  Walters, Sarah           1     Knudsen McAusla, Linda   11
Campos, Joaquin        1
                                  Hoban, Mary              2     1
Hom, Derek             2
                                  Solorio, Adrian          2     Spencer, Seth            2
Reynolds, Nicholas     4
                                  Coup, Joshua             3     Bjur,Garrick             3
Campbell, Jonathon     5
                                  Kuczkowski, Danielle     5     Upholt, Gretchen         4
Flores, Noe            5
                                  Hurst, Jenny             6     Parkhurst, Seth          7
Shure, Natalie         7
                                  Sapp, Matthew            6     Russell, Christopher
Kuitems, Christopher   8
                                  Alexander, Ruth          7     7
Laesecke, Anne         8
                                  Castro, Martin           9     Brown, Jordan            9
Yost, Daniel           8
                                  Webb, Amber              9     Kumayama, Leah           11
Exline, Erica          10
                                  Leek, Mackenzie          10    Martin, Alexander        11
Sherman, Katherine     12
                                  Thekan, Katherine        13    Stephan, Laura           12
Smith, Molly           12
                                  Thompson, Cody           13    Ceglarek, John           13
Condley, Matthew       15
                                  Wilkinson, Laura         13    Hunziker, Ann            14
Garcia, Eduardo        16
                                  Berson, Sarah            14    Richards, Noelle         14
Norman, Diane          16
                                  Mattingly, John          14    Scodova, Katherine       14
Bernstein, Annie       17
                                  Mcguire, Maryann         15    Zarnow, Zachary          15
Mackintosh, Sarah      17
                                  Mosher, James            15    Macdonald,Christopher    16
Carson, Adam           20
                                  Grover, James            16    Dowland, Erin            17
Serface, Charles       21
                                  McCrimmon, Tara          16    Ellis, Marcia            18
Sebaste, Walter        24
                                  Shikina, Shigeko         18    Coffman, Ronald          21
Clancy, Heather        25
                                  Kramer, Michelle         21    Woods, Brian             21
Kay, Brittany          25
                                  Mackie, Laura            21    Shah, Ravi               22
Kaiser, Adam           26
                                  Berwick, Anne            22    Struble, Eileen          22
Deyo, Justin           28
                                  Mcguire, Peter           22    Marcy, Suzanne           24
                                  Choi, Priscilla          24    Ripley, Jean             25
                                  Richardson, Sarah        24    Homan, Carey             28
                                  Ching, Daisy             25    Grossman, Rachel         29
                                  Graham, Monica           26    McGormley, Megan         29
                                  Ahlert, Andrea           27    Palmer, Margaret         29
                                  Feofanova, Anastasia     28
                                  Ligon, Linda             28
                                  Brusseau, Natalie        29
                                  Rystrom, Richard         29




Quotables:
Rants and musings from Peace Corps Volunteers
    “I want chocolate, but I’m
 too lazy to put on pants.”
                                           Jacob Moore:
    -Katie Backus
                                        I’m good for a few
                                        things.
   “Did you see those two                  Ashley Huffman:
sucking face? I think she’s on          Like being a coat
something. You two (Ashley
Huffman and Jacob Moore)
stand over there so I can video      Have you said something or heard someone say
tape it.”                            something that you thought was funny, original or just
   -Katherine Thekan, while          ought to be shared with other volunteers in Ukraine?
spotting an amorous Ukrainian
couple at Tustan National Park.
                                     Send it to nushcho@yahoo.com
                                                                         October/November 2008

				
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