Jordan´s Big TV Break
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INT. JORDAN’S APARTMENT. MORNING
JORDAN, early thirties, movie star looks, wakes up. On his
post-war apartment bedroom walls there are framed posters
of Broadway musicals, Snoopy and the Muppet Show. Wearing
pajamas, he leaps out of bed, prepares cereal and juice in
the open kitchen, turns on CNN, then changes channels to
the Cartoon Network.
INT. PABLO’S APARTMENT. SAME TIME
PABLO, late twenties, more attractive than handsome, wakes
up. On his pre-war studio walls there are different maps of
the world. One of them shows Argentina at its center.
Wearing boxer shorts, PABLO, definitely not a morning
person, puts the kettle on the stove.
EXT. JORDAN’S BUILDING.
In the building lobby, the DOORMAN holds the door for
JORDAN, perfectly groomed, in a sports jacket. A cab is
waiting for him.
INT. PABLO’S APARTMENT.
PABLO reads the Village Voice drinking Argentine mate from
a gourd with a metal straw. Alternative rock is playing on
the radio. He circles an ad for a hair color product test.
EXT. TBNY (LOCAL TV STUDIO).
JORDAN greets the DOORMAN and enters the building.
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EXT. PABLO’S BUILDING.
In jeans and a sweater and without a shave (or a
discernible haircut), PABLO carries an old bicycle down the
stairs, exits his building and rides to
AN OFFICE BUILDING,
where he joins a long line of people. Most of them have
unusual hair dos or colors. The COORDINATOR rejects them
but retains PABLO and a few others.
INT. TV STUDIO. LATER
A low-budget children’s show is being taped. JORDAN, the
host, is in medieval clothing, holding a skull in one hand
and making ample gestures with the other. Children sitting
around him are alert, attentive and responsive.
So, have I got what it takes to
EXT. PARK AVENUE OFFICE BUILDING. SAME TIME
PABLO waves goodbye to the other participants. They all
have the same shocking highlights in their hair. PABLO
EXT. UPPER EAST SIDE STREET. AFTERNOON
PABLO, walking a dozen dogs on leashes, waits at a
pedestrian crossing. When the lights change, he struggles
to make them cross the street at the same time.
INT. TV STUDIO. LATER
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The director makes the cut sign, the technical staff
disperse, the set lights go off. Someone calls JORDAN. He
asks for time and continues interacting with the kids.
Several moms, slightly older than JORDAN, approach them,
shake his hand and compliment him on his work.
EXT/INT. R.G.’S (ARGENTINE GRILL). SAME TIME
PABLO locks his bike outside the restaurant and goes in.
He puts on a waiter’s apron and sets the tables. He studies
the elaborated list of specials from the board and shortens
each item by erasing a few words when nobody’s looking. He
chats with the cooks and waiters, who tease him and laugh
about his hair.
EXT. TV STUDIO. EVENING
JORDAN takes a cab to
where tango music is playing.
JORDAN is escorted to the bar by the HEADWAITER. PABLO
Good evening sir, my name is
...And I’m worth it!
(noticing his hair)
My God! Is Halloween early this
I’ll spare you the specials. I
know exactly the kind of meat you
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Come on, Pablo. You can do it!
It must be my new hair... How do
Oh, innate talent... cue cards...
Well, I can’t read mine in this
At a nearby table, FATHER, fortysomething, is staring at
PABLO. His two CHILDREN seem to have recognized JORDAN. An
OLDER COUPLE at another table is making impatient gestures
at the HEADWAITER.
I’ll be right with you, sir.
FATHER makes an understanding gesture. PABLO seems
surprised that he’s not upset.
(to the COUPLE)
How hard can it be? Didn’t you
grow up on this food?
Yes, and then came fusion...
(lowering his voice)
So, are we getting together later?
My place? Please, Jordan?
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(with a heavy American
Oh come on! Wouldn’t you rather
wake up closer to the park
You know my visa is not valid
North of Fourteenth...
The HEADWAITER makes an impatient gesture.
Sorry, gotta go. Fridays are
I told you it made no sense for me
(as he goes away)
Yeah, why don’t I visit YOU at
PABLO waits on the older couple. FATHER from the family
table addresses JORDAN.
Excuse me, aren’t you on that
Why I’m not sure.
(to the kids)
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You have a very nice family.
Another MAN IN HIS FORTIES joins FATHER at the table.
INT. JORDAN'S BUILDING LOBBY. NIGHT
PABLO enters with his bike, greets the DOORMAN and nods to
signal the storage room.
La dejamos acá adentro?
DOORMAN takes the bike. About to store it, he notices PABLO
walking towards the elevators.
Wait, déjeme decirle a Jordan...
Don’t bother, Carlos. You’ll wake
INT. JORDAN'S BEDROOM. NIGHT
JORDAN’s asleep; the TV is on. PABLO goes to the bathroom.
Reaching for the toothbrush, he realizes with a smile that
Jordan has already put some paste on it. Back in the room,
he silently undresses and climbs into bed with Jordan, who
turns and kisses him.
Hola. I’m sorry about before.
Bad idea. My fault for insisting.
Got fired too.
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Because I got premium service?
No, I guess it was my hair. Too
So, no more Argentine meat?
Oh no! I made sure we all
remained friends. Don’t worry.
Your job situation is what
Hey, I’m still overemployed.
Precisely. Have you been getting
Oh, I will survive...
(turns off the TV)
How was your day?
Great! But those moms... they’re
I bet you don’t find dads so
annoying. Did you stop at the
How did you know?
Oh, I said I’d be late, you had no
plans... Meet anyone hot?
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It was O.K.
Good! At least one of us had some
PABLO turns off the light and they cuddle.
EXT. CENTRAL PARK. AFTERNOON (LATE FALL)
PABLO, in jeans and a T-shirt, rides his bike along the
loop while JORDAN, in sports gear, rollerblades. They’re
going against the flow, checking out guys. Runners
Well, if they looked at the signs
they’d see we’re right.
JORDAN notices the sign: PABLO is right.
(looking behind them)
Couldn’t we check out backsides
every now and then?
What’s the matter? Exercise bunny
lost his carrot?
We’re making everyone mad!
Oh come on... Aren’t you remotely
interested in faces? That’s what
you see most of the time anyway...
A FATHER runs by pushing his kid in an exercise stroller.
JORDAN and PABLO stare. PABLO sighs.
What exactly is the dad mystique?
That unmistakable... je ne sais
quoi. Take your brother, for
example. Tremendo cuerpazo!
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You’re attracted to Keith?
Isn’t it weird? How we want
BECAUSE we can’t have?
But how can you tell between
simple infatuation and ill-fated
Infatuation is not about them,
it’s about you.
Well, so is love!
Infatuation goes away when you get
to know him. Love is what stays.
Take the guy you were with last
night. I bet he’s stuck on you.
Because he doesn’t know me?
Thanks! He really tried though.
But you don’t talk, I forgot.
Well, I have a future reputation
You can be so sweet and yet such a
cold fish sometimes.
Don’t get me started.
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Don’t you like to meet people? I
know I do.
I don’t need to meet other people.
I have you. I wouldn’t even have
sex on the side if you showed more
Hey, I am here, aren’t I? But I
also happen to like adventure
sports. You know, a harmless game
of seduction every once in a
It wouldn’t surprise me if you
dropped me like an old shoe one of
And give up celebrating the
mystery of our relationship? That
would be insane!
So you think you’re above romantic
Possession is more like it. It
turns you into somebody else. If I
fell, would you nail a stake in my
heart before I hurt you?
That’s so sweet! Your wife is a
very lucky girl.
JORDAN holds the bike from behind. PABLO looks at his
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See, that’s not so sweet.
I was supposed to meet Betsy
before work! We’re rehearsing for
the INS interview. Gotta run.
You’re working today too?
Didn’t I tell you? Call me.
JORDAN lets go of the bike, PABLO rides off.
Remember we’re babysitting Matt!
EXT. CENTRAL PARK. SAME AFTERNOON
Outside the park, waiting for the traffic light to change,
JORDAN, still on his rollerblades, glances at FRANK, an
athletic man in his forties, who stands beside him with
LAURA, a lively woman in her thirties, both in running
gear. LAURA notices JORDAN. She has a Midwestern accent.
Jordan? Jordan Stearns?
Laura? Wow! It’s been ages...
They hug and look into each other’s eyes a moment too long.
LAURA looks away, JORDAN looks at FRANK.
Sorry, Frank, this is Jordan. We
grew up together.
FRANK and JORDAN shake hands.
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Good to meet you.
What are you doing here?
I just got transferred. Frank’s my
only friend here.
Well that’s got to change!
I mean, no offense, Frank, but...
You know, Frank, we were in school
Oh please, let’s keep that a
The light changes. FRANK is ready to cross.
Would you like to join us for
(looking at FRANK)
I don’t know... I wouldn’t want
Oh, no problem at all.
We’re going to Olive’s. Is that
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Vegetarian again? I thought we
had reached an agreement!
Oh, were you serious?
Is it that bad?
Why don’t the two of you go?
You’ll probably spend all
afternoon catching up anyway.
Are you sure? Maybe we could--
-- I’m sure. Have fun. Nice
meeting you, Jordan!
INT. OLIVE’S. DAY
JORDAN and LAURA are having brunch. LAURA is on her cell
One more week, Rosie... No. I
always keep my promises ... You’ll
hear from me soon. Now relax!
(turns off and puts
away her cell phone)
I’m sorry, where were we?
You were telling me how running
into you will change my life
You don’t believe me.
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It just sounds too good to be
true, that’s all.
We meet again after fifteen years.
You’re in a show. I’m in show
business. Now if that’s not
fate... You have to show me your
work, Jordan. That was Rosie I was
just talking to! You know how
she’s all for supporting new
National TV? But I’m not ready!
You have this incredibly good guy
thing going. I’m sure you’ve heard
this before. Speaking of which --
anybody special in your life?
Oh, well, you know me, I take my
time... How long have you and
Oh, Frank? No, he’s my assistant.
Sweet guy, great running
partner... Married last year.
Give it time...
He’s not my type.
Is he gay?
No! Is being straight all it takes
to make a man my type?
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I didn’t mean that. Anyone not
into you would have to be gay!
Oh. That’s better.
I guess I expected you to be
married. I dreamed you were.
Yes. In this dream I was aware
that you were unhappily married. I
saw you again in a crowd and tried
to look for you and tell you that
you had done the right thing...
You mean breaking up with you?
The WAITER fills the water glasses and the awkward pause.
Well I’m still happily unmarried.
Whoever could put up with my
schedule would be entitled to
major baggage. Who needs that?
Yeah, I noticed you have this...
Well, blame it on New York. Maybe
I’m trying to make up for my
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So you believe I should have a
Minnesota complex, huh?
You tricked me into that one...
JORDAN takes out his wallet and grabs the check.
Let me see your wallet. Do you
JORDAN hands LAURA his wallet.
You can learn a lot about people
INSERT – A picture of a four year old boy.
That’s my nephew, Matt.
Wow, Keith’s son? How is he?
INT. WHAT’S COOKING (KITCHEN STORE). DAY
PABLO yawns and drinks more coffee. He’s slowly pricing
merchandise. DANIEL, 40, no visible edge, and his older and
severe-looking wife MARTHA walk into the store. MARTHA
takes a knife out of a Chinese set. While showing her a
different set of knives, DANIEL notices PABLO.
But what’s wrong with these
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What do I know?
I’ll find out.
She waves at employees who ignore or avoid her and finally
catches PABLO’s eye.
PABLO approaches, notices DANIEL.
How can I help you, ma’am?
What makes this knife so much
better than this other one?
By accident, she drops one of the knives.
Oh, I'm sorry. I got it.
MARTHA bends faster than PABLO and gets the knife. PABLO
eyes DANIEL, who gives him a sheepish smile and mouths the
words ―Cool hair!‖.
(recovering from his
Well, it’s a question of
endurance. Forty years from now,
would you like to cut your
(looking at DANIEL)
...anniversary cake with this baby
or with a third generation cheapo?
The phone rings and PABLO gives his knife to MARTHA, who’s
left holding a knife in each hand.
Excuse me. I have to get that.
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Outraged, MARTHA drops both knives on the counter and turns
to leave, taking DANIEL by the hand. He reluctantly follows
her to the exit. MANAGER, younger than PABLO, sees what
happens and approaches them.
(on the phone)
What’s Cooking, this is Pablo, how
can I help you?
INT. JORDAN’S APARTMENT. DAY
JORDAN is on the phone, while LAURA, fascinated, watches
tapes of his show.
Hi there! I may be a little late.
Can you make it to Keith’s by
Behind PABLO’s back, in the background, DANIEL is talking
to the MANAGER. MARTHA is holding the door.
I ran into an old friend and we
just lost track of time...
That’s nice! What’s his name?
DANIEL and MARTHA exit.
Well, I can make it with Keith, I
mean, to Keith’s by myself. Be as
late as you want!
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The MANAGER approaches.
Uh-oh... I’d better wrap up soon
See you there.
(hangs up. To the MANAGER)
Am I fired?
You must have done something
right. They’ll go for the Swedish
set. They’re calling to schedule
INT. KEITH’S GARDEN APARTMENT. LATER THAT AFTERNOON
KEITH, a former jock in his mid-thirties, wearing jeans and
an untucked T-shirt, is standing on a chair, adjusting the
height of the lamp over the kitchen table. His crotch is at
the level of PABLO’s eyes. PABLO is standing near the light
switch, stealing glimpses. In the living room, MATT watches
... Once I get the final papers I
can go back to graphic design,
Good! Jordan can tide you over in
the meantime, right? Turn it on.
(turns on the light)
I’d rather he didn’t.
Oh, I understand. How’s that?
Maybe a little higher. You know,
it’s tempting sometimes. He’s
become a local celebrity.
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(raising the lamp)
Good. I even registered a domain
name for him.
What is it?
Uncle Jordan Dot Com. The name of
the TV show we developed in our
KEITH gets off the chair and sits with PABLO.
So, how do you like working at
More than I thought, thank God. I
have a lot of work too!
But tonight’s definitely off,
right? Hot first date?
Well, there never seems to be a
Don’t they sympathize? When you
tell them what Donna did to you?
Not the ones I like!
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(as an afterthought)
You’ll always be welcome in our
Sometimes I think I should have
been more of a guy, you know?
Maybe I made it too easy for her
But how could she expect Matt to
Well, he was a bit of a surprise
Oh. Well then maybe it’s just as
well that she’s not raising him.
Sometimes things just take care of
Who knows... What about you two?
Have you ever thought about a
family? Jordan would make a
Yeah, but not me. I’m still too
busy raising myself.
The doorbell rings. MATT runs towards the door, excitedly.
MATT opens the door, JORDAN greets him.
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Hey Jordan. We were just
I’ve considered passing on my
genes anonymously, but that’s as
far as I would go. I’m not even
good with dogs...
That’s because you have to deal
with a dozen at a time!
I’ve seen you deal with a dozen
kids at a time! I’m sure you give
them a special snack.
And you, Jordan? Have you ever
considered raising a family?
He can’t! It's like priests and
celibacy. You see, being a father
conflicts with our plan to make
him America’s uncle!
Well, I am Matt’s uncle first and
JORDAN picks MATT up and holds him.
Will I see you in Thanksgiving,
Of course, Matt.
(to PABLO, less
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Will you be there too?
Sure! Don’t you remember two years
Pablo, he was only two!
See what I mean?
The doorbell rings.
Your hair is WEIRD!
Shall we change it back?
No, let’s paint it green!
MATT starts pulling PABLO’s hand towards his room.
O.K., Matt, you can play with
Pablo’s hair after your bath.
Somebody rescue me!
MATT and PABLO exit. JORDAN is looking out the window
towards the street. CHLOE, a blond seventeen-year-old girl,
is waiting outside. She notices JORDAN and waves to him
enthusiastically. JORDAN timidly waves in response. KEITH
Hey, isn’t that the babysitter? I
thought you needed us tonight...
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Chloe and I are going out. There’s
this concert no one will take her
So now you are babysitting! Do her
parents know? How old is she
She’s wise beyond her years.
So are you, I hope.
INT. KEITH’S BATHROOM. EVENING
MATT is in the tub playing with his toys while JORDAN
washes his hair.
Hey, that’s a neat boat.
Chloe gave it to me.
Are you and Pablo best friends?
The best friends in the whole
Can you be best friends with a
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Of course you can.
Then Chloe is my best friend.
So, what shall I read you at
bedtime? Would you like to hear
one of Betsy’s stories?
Can we play with Pablo’s hair
Pablo! Your turn!
INT. KEITH’S LIVING ROOM. LATER
JORDAN walks out of the bedroom where MATT, now in his
pajamas, has fallen asleep. In the living room, where KEITH
has set up his drawing board, PABLO, in his natural hair
color again, is sitting on the couch watching "Love is a
many-splendored thing" on TV. William Holden has just lit
Jennifer Jones’ cigarette with his.
This is where it all begins...
JORDAN lies down and rests his head on PABLO’s lap, a
vacant expression on his face. PABLO plays with JORDAN’s
You know, this movie had a
different ending. A real one.
Wasn't love nipped in the bud by
death the perfect ending?
Oh no. That’s too easy. See, he
survives but is confined to a
wheelchair, and she has to take
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him all the way down to the beach
every time she feels like a swim.
And don’t forget their favorite
spot, way up that hill...
Someone should remake all these
Oh, but they do...
I mean a real remake. Not just a
No wonder we’re all so confused
about love and sex.
(points at the kissing
couple on the screen).
If this is where we get our tips...
Hey, not all movies are bad. I
find porn pretty educational.
That’s different. Sex is not
something you learn from your
Oh, and love is?
EXT. STADIUM. NIGHT
A loud crowd of teenagers, mostly girls, surround CHLOE and
KEITH, the oldest person in sight. They scream and sing
along, raise their handmade signs with declarations of love
and dance to the music of the boy band of the week.
(raising her voice
above the noise)
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Your brother is way cooler than
Is he like, seeing anyone?
EXT. KEITH'S TOWNHOUSE STEPS. NIGHT
Thanks again, guys.
PABLO and JORDAN get in a cab.
INT. TAXICAB. NIGHT
Poor Keith. I wouldn’t want to be
in his Nikes.
He’s out of control.
Oh, give him a break. He’s
entitled to some fun.
Maybe, but by the time they get
over it, Matt will have lost a
friend... I wish I could do
something about it.
Take him to your show. He’s
mellower now. He’ll behave.
Yeah. That should cheer him up. I
People should get a license for
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Well, most drunk drivers are
I mean people should enter
parenthood more consciously.
Nobody enters parenthood more
consciously than gay parents. But
do they make it any easier for
That’s different. Parenting is
like ballroom dancing. It’s for
You obviously missed Rosie’s
Gay parenting, gay marriage, it’s
all a parody.
So you wouldn’t marry me?
But what would Betsy say?
You know what I mean.
Only so you could stay here
without breaking the law.
That’s so sweet! You too will make
a girl very happy one day.
JORDAN smiles absentmindedly.
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INT. BETSY’S STUDIO APARTMENT. AFTERNOON
PABLO and BETSY are sitting at her computer. In her late
twenties, BETSY is wearing a white shirt and khaki
overalls. Her apartment is filled with portraits of friends
and original pictures of the city. The coffeepot’s on the
stove. On the table there are notes, Pablo’s family
photographs and a map of Argentina.
And this is us in Paris.
On the computer screen: BETSY and PABLO hugging in front of
the Eiffel Tower.
But I’m not supposed to leave the
country before the interview...
(clicks on the mouse)
Niagara Falls O.K.?
Same picture and pose, but the Eiffel Tower background has
Neat! Though I’d rather have
honeymooned in Paris...
It amazes me that Jordan puts up
with your being stuck here. He
used to love to travel.
He’s running out of patience. Not
just with our compulsory National
Park trail, but with the whole
thing, you know, my endless string
of assorted occupations...
What exactly have you been up to
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Well, if I count getting paid to
surf the net, I have three legal
part time jobs now.
Can’t you... consolidate?
Don't worry. With a permanent
green card they’ll take our
collaboration more seriously and
then I can quit everything else!
I wouldn’t count on that. Even I
couldn’t live on children’s books
alone. It’s kind of slow right
And your photography? When are you
gonna get serious?
BETSY lights a cigarette.
I know, this time I’m really
considering it. Will you manage,
though? If we don’t get any more
I barely make the rent now, but
something should come up.
Your pad is the money pit.
I need my own place. That’s non-
Maybe you should give up this open
relationship shit and move in with
Jordan once and for all.
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BETSY gets coffee and serves it. They move to the table.
You can be so square sometimes.
Well? Isn’t he The One?
The One. Nice concept!
No, that wouldn’t work for either
of us. Living together shouldn’t
be about money. Besides, isn’t
this my lawful residence?
Pretty lawful, isn’t it?
PABLO turns his attention to the photographs and papers
scattered on the table.
O.K., let’s focus here. What’s my
mother’s maiden name again?
Oops! I don’t know MY mother’s
Betsy, the clock is ticking. If we
don’t take this seriously...
I know, you lose your green card,
I lose my money...
Correction: I get deported, you
I still don’t think I would
approach it like that.
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Fine, let’s try it your way.
We just have to emit this married
couple vibe. It’s in the details.
How should I act then?
Bitter. You should be bitter.
Remember, married people don’t get
Oh, that’s not much of a stretch
for us! We should be able to pull
Hey, how about a rehearsal dinner?
If we actually pretend to be a
couple it might come more easily.
But everybody we know knows we’re
not! Except maybe...
PABLO picks up the phone and dials a number.
Jordan Stearns please?
INT. TV STUDIO.
JORDAN comes to the phone. In the background, LAURA seems
to be giving instructions to a couple of technicians; the
director is listening.
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Jordan, hi. Are you busy?
I may have a minute or two.
Listen, the interview is in three
days, I’m freaking out.
Why? You’ve been preparing, right?
Well, we have different
approaches. Betsy favors method
Will you remind her I’m not paying
her the balance if she screws up?
She must have a lady chain gang
wish. But she also came up a good
idea: rehearsing in front of
strangers. What do you think?
You’re having dinner with that old
friend of yours, right?
Well, she doesn’t know us.
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-- If you introduced us to her as
a married couple, we could get
The director is waving to JORDAN to hang up, people are
Oh, I don’t know... Listen, I
Please, Jordan, help us out. Bring
her to R.G.’S at eight.
No, Pablo, wait. Laura...
PABLO hangs up. JORDAN swears.
EXT. WOMAN’S CLOTHING STORE. DAY
PABLO shows BETSY an outfit in the window. BETSY makes a
face. They go in. When they walk out, she’s wearing it
under her old leather jacket.
INT. DEPARTMENT STORE'S MAKE-UP STANDS.
BETSY, wearing her new feminine clothes, has gotten into
the makeover concept, and has just discovered make-up.
INT. R.G.’S. NIGHT
JORDAN, LAURA, PABLO and BETSY, her look now more stylish,
are having dinner. Assorted grilled meats.
(to LAURA, helping
himself to some meat)
So what exactly is a vegan?
Someone who doesn’t eat, use or
wear any animal products.
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A vegetarian plus, huh?
Sort of, yeah.
I feel awful for you.
Don’t. Every restaurant has at
least one dish I can eat!
How do you like your empanada?
It’s pretty good!
You are lucky they still have them
on the menu. Most people only come
here for the meat.
PABLO greets old friends at a distance.
Pablo used to work here.
Well, Laura, this was pretty
adventurous of you.
That’s what I love about New York,
these cultural trips around the
So, do you know where Argentina
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Pablo! Of course she does!
Well, Rosie O´Donnell once said
she couldn’t place it "continent-
wise". In that game show.
Oh, yeah. How embarrassing!
So now you’re trashing Rosie?
I embrace contradiction.
She should have known. Isn’t she
sort of a Broadway queen?
Can you say that about a woman?
How would I know?
I missed the connection.
Soccer put us on the map for
straight people. Since Americans
think it’s a girl sport, you’re
only left with Andrew Lloyd Webber
for some basic geography!
-- Well in case I’m still being
quizzed, Argentina is the
southernmost country in this
continent. And don’t knock Rosie
in front of her friends!
Excuse me! And the colors of the
Argentine flag are?
Page 37 of 122
Hey, just a minute now!
LAURA’s phone rings. She gets up and takes the call at a
distance from the table.
(less assertive than
in her previous call)
Hi! Yes, I got the fresh face I
promised you... Only locally.
Enormous appeal, I think. I’ll
drop by with the tapes tomorrow. I
told you I would deliver. O.K.
LAURA hangs up and goes to the
When she comes out of her stall, BETSY is washing her
You know, I totally relate to that
vegan thing. Who needs meat? Does
a fish need a bicycle?
(not getting it)
That’s what I say!
(echoing her own
remark with disgust at her
Does a fish need a bicycle?
LAURA returns to the table.
So you’re gonna be working
Page 38 of 122
Can I tell them? O.K.: Laura’s
negotiating a segment in Rosie’s
That’s big news! You didn’t think
I meant what I said about her, did
But Jordan’s got to relax a little
bit. You know, it’s just TV!
Easy for you to say...
He’ll be great.
Thanks! It’s nice to hear you say
that. By the way, Laura, do you
think Matt could be in the
audience when we tape?
That angel? Sure! I can pick him
up myself if you like.
Have you met him?
I’ve seen pictures. He looks
BETSY returns to the table.
Don’t they all?
So Betsy, are you working on a new
Not this evening, no.
Page 39 of 122
BETSY, JORDAN and PABLO share a laugh; LAURA is left out.
I write children’s books on
commission. Jordan thinks I just
churn them out. Actually demand is
kind of low lately.
If it doesn’t pick up, we’re in
trouble. I illustrate them.
Would you believe they pay him
twice as much? Stay in TV, images
are literally worth a thousand
(softly, to PABLO)
Oh, so that’s how you met...
BETSY and PABLO
(echoing her tone)
And you’ve been married...
...For almost two years.
And these stories... do you write
them with someone special in mind?
What do you mean?
You know! Kids of your own...
Page 40 of 122
Oh! Well, most people assume--
PABLO kicks BETSY under the table.
-- Maybe in a couple of years,
Yes, no need to rush... What about
Well, the way work is going who
knows when I’ll have time for it,
but maybe I would do the husband
Why of course!
(to PABLO and JORDAN)
You gotta have a daddy!
(to LAURA, to fill it)
By the way, how’s your dad these
days? And your mom?
A little upset, if you must know.
I’m not coming home for
BETSY and PABLO
It’s such a busy week. The network
depends on me, and Minnesota’s
just too far.
I’m sure they’ll understand.
Page 41 of 122
So what are your plans?
I don’t know really. I got a
couple of invites but I’m not that
excited about either. You’re going
to your parents’, right, Jordan?
Yep. Like every year!
You’re so lucky they moved out
East. Say hello to them for me,
looking at PABLO)
Why don’t you join us? We’d love
to have you.
PABLO gives JORDAN a severe look.
Really? That would be great!
(to BETSY and PABLO)
Will you guys be there too?
Oh, no. You see, for us --
-- We’d be delighted.
PABLO kicks BETSY under the table.
I make a mean pumpkin pie.
It’s settled then!
Page 42 of 122
EXT. COMMERCIAL STREET. NIGHT
BETSY and LAURA are walking side by side, window-shopping.
JORDAN and PABLO are walking behind them.
I love your outfit.
This old thing? Thanks!
So what do you do for fun in this
Well... photography is one of my
hobbies so I walk around town a
lot. I also go to the gym... I
The pool in my gym sucks.
You should give my gym a try.
Where is it?
Broadway and Seventy-seventh.
That’s right near me!
Then we’re neighbors. I knew I’d
seen you somewhere before.
PABLO and JORDAN observe the interaction and whisper to
each other, a few steps back.
You saw how it happened, she
practically invited herself!
Page 43 of 122
I can’t believe you’re still not
out to her.
How could I come out and not blow
Can’t you be gay and have straight
friends? Think of a better excuse!
LAURA and BETSY stop and turn towards PABLO and JORDAN.
How about a hansom cab ride?
EXT. CENTRAL PARK. NIGHT
LAURA, JORDAN, BETSY and PABLO on a hansom cab. LAURA, the
only one enjoying the ride, is pointing at the moon. JORDAN
and BETSY play along, while PABLO, noticing their attention
is focused on LAURA, rolls his eyes.
INT. JORDAN’S BEDROOM. LATE NIGHT
PABLO is lying in bed fully clothed, drinking beer and
watching a Spanish channel. He hears noises and turns off
Romeo? Is that you?
JORDAN walks in.
You know I hate it when you lie on
the bed in your street clothes.
PABLO gets up and moves to an armchair. JORDAN changes into
his pajamas, then goes to the bathroom and mechanically
picks up his toothbrush. He notices it has no paste and
puts some on it.
Page 44 of 122
That dinner was the stupidest
idea. What was I thinking!
I thought we were good.
At least you tried. Wasn’t Betsy
sort of flirting with Laura?
It must have been the wine. Did
Laura mention it?
I don’t think she noticed.
I forget she’s from Minnesota.
Will your parents mind keeping the
secret? About our marriage?
(after a long pause)
Well I’ve been meaning to tell you
since we saw Keith. You see... you
are not invited this Thanksgiving.
What? Aren’t things better since
you came out to them?
For me, yes, but... I told my
mother you made me very happy.
And that’s bad.
See, now in her head all we do is
Well at least she thinks you’ve
Page 45 of 122
She says she doesn’t know how to
act around you now, so she won’t
see you until she figures it
Can’t you just tell her our
relationship is not about sex?
Then what am I supposed to be
doing with you? She’ll say I might
as well have married, and I’ll be
back at square one.
Well if you can’t think of a reply
for that, you’ve never left square
JORDAN does not answer, PABLO stands up.
Your choices are as limited as
your mother’s. You want us to be a
(surprised to agree)
You know what? Sometimes I do.
Well it’s just not a choice. We’ve
tried monogamy. It just doesn’t
work for us.
You’re right, it doesn’t work for
us, not for you and me.
Well good luck! I think I’m gonna
leave you and Mr. Right some space
here. Wherever you may find him!
Page 46 of 122
PABLO stomps out.
INT. THE SWIMMING POOL AT BETSY’S GYM. DAY
A glorious sun shines through the windows into the pool.
BETSY, standing by the edge of the pool in her swimsuit,
has her gaze fixated on LAURA, who is swimming by. A
masculine woman approaches her and startles her with her
Hey, there, Betsy! Who’s the new
INT. THE SHOWERS AT BETSY’S GYM. LATER
BETSY is taking a shower next to LAURA, trying hard not to
look at her body while LAURA chatters away excitedly.
Behind them, the same WOMAN looks on, puzzled.
...one of those outfits that you
absolutely can’t do without, you
know? I mean, just trying it on
was almost sexual. You know how it
is, you work hard all week, you
finally take an afternoon off and
think hey, I’ve earned it, right?
INT. WHAT’S COOKING. AFTERNOON
PABLO is behind the counter, greeting a departing customer.
Thank you. Come again!
The phone rings, PABLO picks up.
What’s Cooking, this is Pablo, how
can I help you? Hello?
Page 47 of 122
INT. PRIVATE OFFICE. DAY
DANIEL is sitting at his desk, peering out through the
glass partition towards the general working area of the
floor. There are pictures of his family beside his
computer. Despite the confidence in his voice, his
fidgeting lets on he’s new at this.
(whispering into the phone)
How about returning customer
Excuse me, who is this?
The MANAGER walks up to the counter and tries to listen in.
PABLO senses he’s there and behaves accordingly.
I think you know who I am... and
the item I’m looking for.
(with deadpan efficiency)
Oh yes, sir, that knife set,
right? I’m sorry but we’re sold
out right now...
I can’t stop thinking about you. I
just have to... suck your cock.
DANIEL puts Martha’s portrait face down.
I can imagine, it is such a
I want you so bad.
I know... But good things come to
those who wait...
Page 48 of 122
I have to see you tonight. I’ll be
at the West Side Baths between 7
Thanks for calling. We appreciate
INT. INS WAITING ROOM. AFTERNOON
PABLO in a suit and BETSY in her (only) new dress are
sitting with a few other couples. In most cases, the
extreme contrast between partners in terms of size, age and
background is grotesque.
INT. INS OFFICE. LATER
PABLO and BETSY are sitting at a lazy OFFICER’s desk. Her
office is full of plants. She’s reviewing the paperwork and
talking on the phone.
No, ma’am. You’ll be deported if
you do. Yes I’m serious.
(to BETSY and PABLO)
God, I shouldn’t even be answering
(on the phone)
Yes, you go ahead and do that.
Nine to three Monday through
Thursday. Have a nice day.
Excuse me, Mr. Pérez.
Mr. López. So this employer won’t
hire you until you have your
permanent card? That’s illegal!
Page 49 of 122
I know, but they had a bad
experience before. They didn’t
want any more trouble.
Must be worth the wait...
Are you excited about this?
I’m thrilled. You see, regular
hours would be great for him. For
us. I work at home, and this full-
...Will help keep him out of your
(looks at her watch)
All righty then. You should be
hearing from us soon.
A month or so. It was a pleasure
to meet you both. You make a
(looking out at the
Shall I call the next couple for
(picks up a can and
waters her plants)
It’s almost time to go. Would you
be a doll and close the door
Page 50 of 122
EXT. INS BUILDING. AFTERNOON
PABLO and BETSY walk towards his bike.
Do you think that’s bad? Did we
just blow it?
Because she called you a doll? She
Well, she did like my Niagara
Did she even ask to see my work?
I tell you, these bureaucrats have
no taste for art!
All these preparations...
How can you complain? Don’t you
see she’s brought us one step
closer to divorce?
Hooray! Then we can marry the
person we really love...
You’re in a mood! Buy yourself
some clothes, you’ll feel better.
Listen to me. Don’t I sound just
like a husband?
PABLO unlocks his bike. BETSY looks at her reflection in a
Page 51 of 122
Laura loved this outfit.
Well, I’ll never make you wear it
again. O.K., maybe once, for that
You don’t get it, Pablo. I want to
wear it again. For her. On
Thank God we’ve been uninvited...
Where’s this predatory impulse
Why can’t I come out to her...
Come out to her, maybe. But come
on to her, forget it! The woman’s
I have my doubts. She’s pals with
Rosie. What’s that about? There’s
more to her than meets the eye.
You mean there should be! I’m sure
she doesn’t even know about Rosie.
Most of her audience didn’t...
You don’t like her, do you?
It’s obvious the poor girl has a
crush on Jordan.
You think? I see absolutely
nothing between those two.
Page 52 of 122
Do we have to talk about this now?
You do have a masochistic streak.
Instead of thinking about the
money you stand to get a month
from now you choose to focus--
-- What money?
My dowry of course! Do you have
doubts about that too?
Well, you got me into this mess
and now you and Jordan are sort of
What are you talking about? First
of all, you’ll get your money from
me. As soon as we get another book
-- Well who knows if we ever will.
For some reason they’re not even
returning my calls.
So that’s what this crush is
really about. A distraction! Stop
worrying! I will pay you, with or
without Jordan’s help. Besides,
this news might be the perfect
excuse to make up!
(gets on the bike)
I’m off to tell him right now.
Page 53 of 122
Are you sure?
There are two moments we’ve always
looked forward to: a big TV break
for him, a green card for me. This
is his moment too.
O.K., desert me. I’ll shop alone.
But keep me posted, all right?
Sure. Take it easy, O.K.?
PABLO rides off.
INT. JORDAN’S BUILDING. AFTERNOON
PABLO hands the bike to the DOORMAN and heads towards the
PABLO hears noises. When he gets to the bedroom, he finds
LAURA in JORDAN’s arms, both fully clothed on the bed.
PABLO tiptoes back to the entrance. JORDAN hears the sound
of the entrance door closing and freezes.
Will you excuse me for a second? I
heard a noise...
LAURA sits up. JORDAN walks out to the
where PABLO is hitting the elevator button.
Close collaboration! How come she
gets to lie on your bed in her
Page 54 of 122
Let me explain.
Spare me. She looked pretty
aggressive, you’re an attractive
guy. Just call me when you get rid
No, Pablo. I started it.
PABLO’s cool gives way to growing anger.
Oh. So Laura is Dreamgirl?
Were you planning on telling me?
If there’s one woman I’ve ever
-- Whoa, whoa. Memory lane, old
time’s sake, too much wine,
anything but this. Doesn’t she...
What difference does it make,
since you and I stopped having
Is this your idea of putting the
spark back in our relationship? Am
I supposed to claim you in a fit
I hadn’t felt like this in a long
time. I thought you embraced
Page 55 of 122
That’s rich. So what’s the plan?
Where do you see yourself in five
years? Joining the ranks of
married man who stop for a quickie
at the sauna on the way to their
Funny you should mention that.
Unlike you, at least we both want
PABLO, furious, hits the elevator button again, gives up,
considers taking the stairs.
It’s a long way down...
(deciding to stay and react)
"We"? Did you say "we"?
Not like that. I know she does,
she knows I do.
Oh, so that’s what it’s all about?
You know, maybe after you two mate
she’ll eat you. She might even get
off her cell phone for that.
Now who’s being ridiculous.
This is absurd, Jordan. You don’t
even believe this family shit
yourself. You just heard the words
national TV and your brain took a
That may be a factor, I admit it.
She’s driven, I like that.
Page 56 of 122
PABLO looks disgusted.
I’m not like you, Pablo. The show
is the only thing I’m good at. A
chance like this...
You’re creeping me out.
Is it my fault that you’re stuck?
That I’m not scattered? If I’m not
gonna have sex make me get up in
the morning, don’t take away my
And I’m a burden, right? The
bigger you’d get, the heavier I’d
We knew something like this would
happen sooner or later. What did
Tell me you are in love, lie to me
if you have to. Show me something
I can compete against. The One.
You know there’s no One out there.
Then what am I losing you to?
(looks away, then back at
Was this your dream?
A family, yes, it was a childhood
Page 57 of 122
-- A childish dream.
I thought I’d given it up until I
saw her again.
So she’s O.K. with you being a gay
man, and you’re O.K. with her not
being one. A perfect match. You
both obviously hate sex just as
So we may not be that sexual with
each other. So what? You’ve more
than prepared me!
The elevator arrives. PABLO marches in and presses the door
I didn’t... How did the interview
The door closes.
EXT. EAST VILLAGE STREET. NIGHT
PABLO walks aimlessly. He sees a couple of men walk into a
INT. GAY BAR. LATER
At the counter, PABLO is down to his third beer. Greeted
mostly lasciviously by different acquaintances walking
past, he responds civilly. He looks at his watch. It’s
INT. WHITE BRICK BUILDING. NIGHT
PABLO walks past a YOUNG MALE HUSTLER loitering by the
entrance into a small empty lobby. DANIEL steps out of the
Page 58 of 122
elevator as PABLO steps in. DANIEL turns around, PABLO
pulls him in by the lapels and kisses him, the doors close.
INT. CABIN AT THE BATHS. NIGHT
DANIEL is finishing getting dressed while PABLO, naked
under a towel, lies on the bed smoking a cigarette, staring
into space. DANIEL puts on his watch and looks at it.
PABLO smiles to himself. DANIEL finishes dressing quickly
and pats one of PABLO’s legs.
Thanks. I’ll call you.
DANIEL steps out and closes the door behind him.
EXT. KEITH’S TOWNHOUSE STEPS. DAY
LAURA is at the doorway ringing the bell. KEITH opens up
and shows MATT out. KEITH hugs LAURA affectionately.
How are you!
KEITH can’t find the words and smiles instead.
You must be Matt!
LAURA kisses MATT.
Who are you?
Page 59 of 122
I’m Laura. An old friend of your
Come on, Matthew, be a gentleman.
Laura has a surprise for you.
KEITH brings out a child seat that he and LAURA install in
her car during the conversation.
Thanks for doing this, Laura. I
wish I could come too.
Oh, maybe next time. We should be
done by six. Is that O.K.?
Yeah. Listen, would you like to
...have dinner with us?
Sure! I’d love to catch up. What
do you say, Matt?
KEITH and LAURA smile.
Oh, you just wait and see the
surprise we have for you.
MATT waves to KEITH, who waves back and re-enters the
house. LAURA gets in the car and starts it.
Why can’t Dad come with us?
He’s got a lot to do, Matt.
Page 60 of 122
Dad doesn’t have a best friend.
Are you gonna be his best friend
How would YOU like that?
I asked first!
INT. SOHO LOFT. DAY
KEITH and JORDAN are carrying a few bags into the ample
space filled with mover’s boxes. KEITH takes a six-pack of
cold beer out of one of the bags.
So how come Pablo is not helping
We’re not moving in together, if
that’s what you imply.
Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.
Don’t be. We never meant to.
(changing the subject)
Thank you for the other day. You
made Matt’s year!
I was happy to do something.
KEITH takes the beers to the fridge, opens one. He offers
another to JORDAN, who declines with a gesture, and puts
the rest away.
Page 61 of 122
You were right, you know? About
Chloe and me.
I didn’t say anything.
You didn’t have to. It was crazy.
So who’s babysitting Matt now?
Chloe of course.
Wow! That sounds... grownup!
I was talking about her. Getting
over her crush on you like that...
INT. MIDTOWN EXPENSIVE RESTAURANT. DAY
LAURA and PABLO are having lunch. He is wearing his (only)
suit and has all the charm on.
Thank you for responding on such
short notice. I hear you’re very
busy right now.
Oh, but so are you, right?
Well, I just had to make time for
this. You may already have an idea
what this is about...
Page 62 of 122
Yes, but I’d like to hear you say
Well, the network wants a domain
name for the web campaign. Jordan
told me you developed something
PABLO did not expect this. LAURA notices.
Is there something wrong?
(adjusting to the news)
No, no, go on.
The name was taken. We thought it
might be yours.
Is this Jordan’s idea?
I didn’t tell him I’d be seeing
you. He’s under a lot of pressure.
The idea of an aggressive
publicity campaign might make him
This is big then.
How much are we talking about?
Oh, maybe five digits.
PABLO has difficulty hiding his excitement.
Page 63 of 122
I see. Well, I’m honored, but... I
don’t think so.
What do you mean?
Well, the domain name was just the
beginning, you see. I had already
thought of logos, a whole website,
The network already has its own
developers. Usually --
-- What if I worked for a
percentage? That would make it
almost risk-free for them.
They’d need to see your work.
Consider it done.
I’ll get back to you.
PABLO raises his glass. Less resolutely, LAURA raises hers.
INT. PABLO’S MIDTOWN OFFICE BUILDING. NIGHT
PABLO is the only person in the office, working after hours
in his cubicle, developing the website. He displays many
screens with designs.
TODD, a gay co-worker, approaches silently and looks over
PABLO’s shoulder at his work, and startles him.
Page 64 of 122
Shit! You startled me!
PABLO rapidly closes the different screens.
Yeah, you know how it is. The new
guy gets all the dirty work dumped
At this late hour, it can only be
And what brings you here?
I left my gym bag.
TODD grabs his gym bag and starts walking away.
Keep up the good work...
Good night, Todd.
EXT. CENTRAL PARK. DAY
It’s a cold gray day. JORDAN and LAURA are running, in the
direction of other runners, which are very few.
Isn’t this just our luck? When we
finally get to do something fun...
We spend all this time together
but it’s non-stop—
Page 65 of 122
--Work! The last break I took it
was to take Matt to the set.
Keith really appreciated it.
Oh did he? I had so much fun. Matt
Maybe we could babysit him
sometime. When Keith goes on a
date. What do you say?
Yeah. That’d be fun.
JORDAN notices the sign that indicates the right direction
for runners and bikers. They cross a man running in the
opposite direction, JORDAN turns to look. It starts to
A BLACK SCREEN
Sounds of two men having sex gradually intensify. Suddenly
one of them climaxes and blurts out:
I love you.
All sounds stop. The light goes on: PABLO has his hand on
the switch, and is lying on top of DANIEL.
What did you just say?
I love you.
Page 66 of 122
DANIEL looks hurt.
I’ve always had a hard time saying
those words. I admire people who
can. Do you love me? Maybe you
meant ―I love it‖. Because I love
I wasn’t asking for anything.
PABLO sits up.
Well that’s the tricky part. How
do you know what you mean? How do
you know what I hear?
I was in the moment.
Then would you please not call it
INT. PABLO’S OFFICE. DAY
In his cubicle, PABLO is holding a phone card in his hand,
covering his ear with the other and speaking loudly in
Spanish on the phone. BETSY comes in. TODD is not missing a
thing. PABLO hangs up, kisses BETSY awkwardly. From his
cubicle, TODD reaches for BETSY’s hand.
Betsy, meet Todd. Todd, my wife Betsy.
You never told me...
Must have slipped my mind.
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Happens to me all the time!
TODD and BETSY laugh.
That was my folks. They’re
thrilled about the news.
Oh my God, are you expecting?
Aren’t we all expecting, in one
way or another?
EXT. NEAR CENTRAL PARK. AFTERNOON
PABLO and BETSY are walking towards the park. The streets
are bustling with tourists and shoppers.
The atmosphere’s pretty
friendly...Todd seems nice.
He hates my guts.
Why do you say that?
He feels threatened.
That just proves how much you’re
worth to them! You should try to
Talking about worth...
PABLO stops, takes some money out of his pocket and hands
it to BETSY.
Page 68 of 122
Will you be O.K.? You’re gracious
enough to accept this three
Don’t worry. Funny how the tables
have turned, huh? The alien
supporting the American...
Oh, but these are savings. I have
a probationary contract. In any
case, the big bucks depend on how
well the show does.
They walk by a shop window where some TVs display a spot
about Rosie’s upcoming Thanksgiving Special featuring Uncle
Jordan. BETSY lights a cigarette.
So these are all your designs?
The bus ads too. And just wait for
Is Jordan gonna be famous then?
Could he plug my books?
You’d have to ask him.
Is he still seeing Laura?
I was going to ask you.
Oh, Laura and I --
-- May I remind you there is no
Laura and you?
Page 69 of 122
Rosie should tell that girl that
dating undersexed guys is the
first clear sign of healthy
So you haven’t yet. Good.
I thought I’d lay low and she
hasn’t called. I guess if they
weren’t going out...
He would have called me, huh?
At the entrance of the park, PABLO buys nuts and starts
Is TV their fetish or something?
What else can they possibly offer
Well, definitely not sex...I bet
Jordan sneaks out on her big time
They get to the merry-go-round. It’s closed for the winter.
Are you still seeing that married
I’ve seen him a couple of times,
How is it?
Going nowhere, but hot.
Page 70 of 122
Is it hot because it’s going
(after a long pause)
Do you think he likes cheating?
Maybe it’s not cheating. Maybe
they’ve discussed it.
Sticking around is what counts in
the long haul, isn’t it? Women, of
course, have known this for
centuries, which explains why
there are no lesbian saunas. Not
that I don’t regret it
PABLO was in his own world.
What if there are bisexuals after
I used to think they were just
Married guy may very well be a
closeted fag, but how do you
The first closeted breeder?
PABLO and BETSY
Page 71 of 122
A lot of bisexuals came out as
gays because there was no big
bisexual movement. Couldn’t he be
one of them?
I always hated the idea of
bisexuality. It makes straight
people think we have a choice.
I don’t envy them, accused as
traitors by both sides... Besides,
how can it work between Laura and
Jordan, you know, in practical
Well, who knows what makes any
relationship work? Sex is less
threatening when love has nothing
to do with it. And love is more
stable when it doesn’t have to
depend on your appetite.
Are you talking about them or
I miss Jordan.
PABLO throws nuts to the pigeons.
But you just wait.
So I’m a waiter. So what? The last
time I tried to do something I
found him in bed with a woman. I
sort of got discouraged after
Why don’t I just out him when I
see Laura? Fashion tips are not
Page 72 of 122
the only thing that country girl
Don’t even think about it. He has
to come around by himself.
Maybe he thinks it’s your move.
He knows I wouldn’t compromise his
PABLO looks forlorn.
There’s something your devoted
wife should be able to do. Like
stop you from feeding those
(snatches PABLO’s bag,
scares the birds away)
Damnit, you’re too young to start
INT. BETSY’S STUDIO. DAY
BETSY is writing a story on her computer. She stops to look
at the time, picks up the phone and dials a number. When
the conversation starts, BETSY’s face brightens.
Hey Laura! Is this a good time..?
Betsy. How have you been? Oh, I
understand. Listen, remember our
plans about going shopping
together? I thought maybe...
Oh. Yeah, I can imagine. Do give
me a call when you resurface,
O.K.? Just to say you survived...
BETSY hangs up.
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INT. NETWORK STUDIO. AFTERNOON
Taping has ended. This show has more staff, a more
elaborate set, better lighting. JORDAN walks into a room
with his name on it. An ASSISTANT helps him remove his
make-up. LAURA enters.
If you are going to tell me I
could do it better, save yourself
the trouble, I know.
What are you talking about?
(to the ASSISTANT)
Can you give us a minute?
The ASSISTANT leaves, LAURA closes the door.
I don’t know why, but I just can’t
Jordan, relax, everyone thinks
you’re doing just fine.
There’s so much pressure, I...
I know. Listen, Jordan, about
Are you canceling? The play’s
closing next week, you know?
No, I don’t think I’ll be as late
as that. But let’s just meet at
the theatre, O.K.?
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So we’re having a late dinner?
Actually, this is going to be
dinner for me... I'm sorry. How
about dessert after?
All this hard work is going to pay
off in the end, right?
I guarantee it.
And all these efforts you’re
making... You’re making them for
yourself too, right?
Because, you know, I wouldn’t want
you to be a martyr here.
You just don’t know how good you
are, do you?
Oh, maybe I need to be reminded...
(looking at his watch)
So what should I do for three
(looking at her watch)
I should get going... Why don’t
you catch a movie?
Yeah, maybe I will.
I’ll call you later then.
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LAURA kisses him on the forehead and exits.
JORDAN stares at his reflection in the mirror, then
inspects his gums in a side magnifying mirror and finally
checks his hands for cuts.
EXT. WHITE BRICK BUILDING. LATE AFTERNOON
JORDAN, dressed up for the evening, walks by, stands at the
entrance of the building next to the same YOUNG MALE
HUSTLER, hesitates, looks at the time. A man walks in,
another walks out. They cruise him. JORDAN walks away. When
he gets to the corner, a bus crosses his path. In the
lateral ad space, a question in big colorful cartoonish
letters: ―HAVE YOU SEEN UNCLE JORDAN?‖
EXT. LAURA’S UPPER WEST SIDE BROWNSTONE. LATE AFTERNOON
BETSY is taking pictures of an old storefront. Across the
street, LAURA gets out of a cab and runs towards her
building. BETSY happens to see her in her viewfinder,
climbing the stairs. BETSY looks up from the camera to make
sure it is LAURA.
EXT. LAURA’S BROWNSTONE. LATER
BETSY is watching LAURA’s window. A MAN comes into the
building. A moment later, LAURA’s bedroom lights go on.
EXT. LAURA’S BROWNSTONE. LATER
BETSY sees LAURA and a MAN walk down the stairs to the
street. She hides from them behind a phone booth.
INT. BROADWAY MOVIE THEATRE. EVENING
JORDAN comes out to the hall and discards a big popcorn
bag, then exits. The movie was Lady and the Tramp.
INT. BROADWAY THEATRE. EVENING
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JORDAN and LAURA have box seats. The orchestra lights go
down, the light from the stage reveals their faces when the
curtain goes up. JORDAN smiles, ready for comedy, and
reaches out to take LAURA’s hand. She looks tense but
JORDAN doesn’t notice.
INT. PABLO’S APARTMENT. EVENING
PABLO is getting ready for bed. He mechanically puts paste
on two toothbrushes, then grabs his own. The phone rings.
EXT. DANIEL’S CAR.
DANIEL is in the driver’s seat. The back seat is crowded
with packages and shopping bags.
(on his cell phone)
I’m in the city. I have a couple
INT. PABLO’S APARTMENT.
How did you get this number?
EXT. DANIEL’S CAR.
(getting out of the car)
Oh, I followed you home once.
Before we ever talked.
INT. PABLO’S APARTMENT.
Listen, I don’t think it’s a good
idea. You’ve made this too
personal and I just can’t get
involved right now.
EXT. PABLO’S STREET.
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(walking up to
Don't worry about me. I’m not as
crazy as you think. I’m a family
man. I just don’t see why we can't
get together every now and then.
INT. PABLO’S APARTMENT.
It’s not you, it’s me.
PABLO looks at a picture on the fridge door, of JORDAN and
PABLO holding either leg of a male stripper and stuffing
his crotch with dollar bills, laughing.
I guess I’m more of a family man
than you are, in my own crazy way.
I just didn't know.
The buzzer rings.
Hang on a sec.
(on the intercom)
EXT. PABLO’S BUILDING DOORWAY.
Just one last time, please?
INT. PABLO’S APARTMENT.
(after the shock)
You wouldn’t happen to know where
Argentina is, would you?
EXT. RESTAURANT ROW. SAME TIME
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JORDAN and LAURA are walking out of a restaurant, not
Maybe it’s the new production, but
I just didn't enjoy it this time
I know! Back in high school it
seemed so much funnier!
I thought this would bring us back
to those simpler times.
I know what you mean... Seeing you
again was like going back in time.
As if you could still see the girl
But I can! You sound so sad...
Well picking up where we left is
just not an option, is it? But you
think it still is. You seem so...
spared, I don’t know. As if you
hadn’t made any mistakes.
That’s the magic of working with
kids, you know? They make you go
back to basics, where surprise is
You’re so lucky. You get paid to
If I’m any good at it it’s because
I love it, and they know it. I
couldn’t go on if it weren’t real.
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You’re one of them. I’ve watched
you, you are in this wholly
I’d be lost without my work.
You’d make a terrific father, you
JORDAN’s face lights up.
You think? You mean...
You know. One day.
They get to LAURA’s building. She kisses him on the cheek.
He kisses her back on the mouth but she doesn’t respond. He
pulls back and stands motionless.
I don’t know what I’m doing here.
We’ve spent all this time together
and we never seem to... I
Listen, Jordan, can’t you go to
that uncomplicated place in your
mind and just...
I’m not a child, Laura. I wish you
didn’t treat me like one.
We’re both tired, we’ve been under
a lot of pressure. I just don’t
think this is the time for us to
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It just never seems to be, does
JORDAN walks away.
INT. PABLO’S BEDROOM. NIGHT
PABLO and DANIEL are naked under the sheets. PABLO is
comforting DANIEL, who is sobbing on his shoulder.
I wish I could stay.
Daniel, let me ask you something.
Where do you see us in a month?
Where do you see us next week,
But it feels so right...
In the moment maybe. Because it’s
a glimpse of another life. You
don’t wanna give up your life for
this, do you? It’s just a game, a
DANIEL gets up and starts getting dressed.
I could have sworn you were
enjoying my company.
And I was! But I like it the way
it is, and you want it to become
PABLO gets up, puts on his shorts and walks towards the
kitchen. He opens the fridge and grabs a beer. DANIEL comes
out of the bedroom as he finishes getting dressed.
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DANIEL notices the picture of PABLO, JORDAN and the male
stripper on the fridge door and takes a closer look.
This is a great picture of you.
Too bad you’re not alone. Is that
him? Where is he now? How come
you’re not together?
Well, you know... Successful
people get big heads, lose their
way... Maybe one day he’ll come
around. Maybe not.
And you’re planning to wait?
Yes. For a sign. Good things come
to those who --
-- Jerk. He doesn’t deserve you.
It’s not that simple. There’s
business involved too. Right now,
I sort of depend on his success.
You sound like his pimp. No
problem calling that love, huh?
Come on, you’re gonna be late.
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PABLO walks towards the door. DANIEL follows him, then
Wait, I think I left my keys on
While PABLO waits in the doorway, DANIEL sneaks PABLO and
JORDAN’s picture off the fridge door and into his pocket.
INT. BETSY’S STUDIO. NIGHT
BETSY is viewing the pictures she took on her computer.
After blowing up the images, it becomes apparent that the
man LAURA was with is KEITH. BETSY types an e-mail message
to PABLO, attaches the pictures, then picks up the phone
INT. PABLO’S STUDIO. NIGHT
PABLO is online in a chatroom. The phone rings, he picks
Pablo, read your e-mail. There’s
something you may want to see.
PABLO gets the message from BETSY and opens a picture of
LAURA going up the stairs.
Jesus, Betsy, what are you, a
I happened to be on her street, I
swear. Keep looking.
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PABLO does, and the story emerges. At the first clear
picture of KEITH, PABLO reacts.
That’s Jordan’s brother!
Well, whoever that may be, this
was not delivery, O.K.?
Que lo parió!
I think it’s time, Pablo.
BETSY and PABLO will work each other up in a crescendo for
the rest of the exchange.
To make a scene?
To make a statement.
To make a move!
Are we just gonna grin and bear
it? Say it with me.
BETSY and PABLO
EXT. LAURA’S FRONT STEPS. AFTERNOON.
JORDAN is talking into the buzzer. KEITH and MATT are
waiting in KEITH’s SUV.
You’re not feeling well?
(to MATT and KEITH)
She says she’s not feeling well.
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Let her rest. She’s worked so hard.
(to LAURA on the buzzer)
Keith and Matt are terribly
disappointed. You should see their
faces. We are not leaving without
EXT. A FEW YARDS AWAY. SAME TIME
Through a camera lens, LAURA and JORDAN are seen getting
into KEITH’s car. It’s BETSY’s camera. She is sitting in
the driver’s seat of a small car. PABLO is sitting next to
her, a pumpkin pie wrapped in a clear plastic bag on his
(starting the car)
O.K., here we go. Bear with me on
the road, alright? I haven’t
driven in years.
And you rented this matchbox?
Isn´t smaller better?
For parking in the city, maybe...
What was the last time you left
Manhattan? There may be snow out
there, you know?
We’ll be fine.
EXT. THE STEARNS’. LATER
KEITH’s car is parked in the snow-covered driveway of an
Upstate New York residence. JORDAN, KEITH and MATT are on
the porch steps. JORDAN’s mother HOPE opens the door. She
hugs JORDAN who, hands filled with bags, kisses her back.
FRED, JORDAN’s father, approaches, pats his shoulder and
Page 85 of 122
grabs his bag. KEITH and MATT, standing behind him, greet
them as well.
In the car, LAURA takes a deep breath, checks her image in
the mirror and gets out.
Mom, Dad. There’s a surprise for
LAURA walks towards the house.
Oh my word, it’s Laura!
HOPE hugs LAURA affectionately.
How have you been?
Good! So nice to see you again,
Hope. Hi, Fred!
Hello! Please, come in.
(in a whisper, to KEITH)
KEITH shrugs his shoulders. They all go inside.
EXT. BETSY’S CAR. SAME TIME
The windows are foggy. When BETSY and PABLO talk, steam
comes out of their mouths.
You made me drive all this way to
stay in the car?
Can’t we do it when they leave?
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What if they spend the night?
INT. JORDAN’S PARENTS’ LIVING ROOM. EVENING
MATT is playing with his Lego bricks on the floor. JORDAN
is sitting on the couch, with a photograph album on his
lap. HOPE and LAURA are sitting on either side of him,
looking at it. KEITH and FRED are sitting opposite them in
separate armchairs. In one of the snapshots, the family is
singing around the piano.
On Christmas Day. Fred says it
bothers the neighbors but I don’t
care. It’s only once a year!
And you play them from memory?
Don’t lie now, mom!
Well most of them... Look, Laura,
there’s the boys in football
While LAURA looks at the picture, JORDAN gently puts his
arm around her shoulder. HOPE cannot see this.
You mean Keith! The entertainer
here was in rehearsals...
FRED raises his head and looks at JORDAN. He notices his
display of affection towards LAURA and cannot believe his
eyes. She notices and tries to make conversation.
Oh, I remember... I never told you
this, Jordan, but the girls used
to hide behind the concession
stand and spy on the guys taking
showers after practice.
KEITH has also noticed JORDAN’s gesture and is shocked.
Page 87 of 122
almost to himself)
But from where did --
-- Keith had quite a following
LAURA looks at KEITH as if asking for help. His is a
Well he’s available now...
KEITH / FRED
Mom! / Hope!
I’ll go check on the turkey.
(to JORDAN too)
Are you two playing some kind of
game with me?
KEITH goes to the kitchen.
Laura, could you come take a look?
I need a second opinion.
Go on, honey. He has no clue.
LAURA goes to the
where KEITH is bent over the open oven door, poking at the
turkey without really looking at it.
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What was that? Old times´ sake?
LAURA inspects the turkey, pierces it with a knife, closes
the oven door.
Ask your brother.
You mean he just puts his arm
around you now and then.
Well, we go way back! We’ve also
been seeing a lot of each other...
I may have given him the wrong
No more than that.
O.K. If you must know...
I’ll be damned.
KEITH turns his back on LAURA. She turns him around and
puts her arms around his neck.
No, let me explain...
(opening the door)
O.K., kids, quit fooling around
and let the chef...
HOPE, surprised, represses her reaction. LAURA steps away
from KEITH and exits.
You’re the boss...
KEITH follows LAURA back to the
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LIVING ROOM and sits on the couch.
Honey, could you come here for a
second? There’s something wrong
with the temperature.
FRED walks into the KITCHEN,
where HOPE is standing with her arms crossed and a severe
expression on her face.
I told you it was a phase! Did you
see Jordan and Laura?
I also saw Keith and Laura.
In the living room, JORDAN picks up the remote and turns
the TV on.
It’s about to start...
JORDAN walks towards the space in the couch next to LAURA.
Come sit next to me, Matt.
MATT sits next to LAURA, who hugs him. He’s having popcorn
from a large bowl. JORDAN sits next to MATT.
HOPE and FRED come back from the kitchen, turn the
armchairs on either side of the couch to face the TV and
sit down. While the show opens, they survey KEITH and
LAURA’s movements on the sly.
EXT. BETSY’S CAR. EVENING
It is snowing again. With her camera, BETSY is monitoring
Page 90 of 122
the living room window. In her other hand, she’s holding a
flask. She takes a swig from it and offers it to PABLO.
Pretty soon you’ll be in no shape
to drive. Supposing you ever were.
How are we supposed to keep warm?
This is a mistake.
Couple freezes to death within
sight of a smoking chimney. Now
that’s a mistake.
O.K., let’s go.
BETSY opens her door.
What are you doing? I mean let’s
INT. THE STEARNS’ LIVING ROOM. SAME TIME
On TV, JORDAN is singing a song with the kids. The family
is excited when they spot Matt among them.
INT. SUBURBAN HOUSE TV ROOM. SAME TIME
Same image; different TV: CHLOE, looking pale and sleep-
deprived, is sitting on the couch with three much younger
kids watching JORDAN´s appearance. DANIEL enters.
Sweetie, could you help your
mother in the kitchen? Dinner’s
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But Dad, I’m watching!
Aren’t you a little too old for
this kind of show?
How come they get to stay and
Your cousins already ate, at the
kids table. I thought you’d
appreciate the upgrade!
I´m not that...
(MARTHA stomps in, holding
her new Swedish kitchen
knife. She looks at the TV
and then at spooked CHLOE)
Newsflash. Your daughter is
Over this Jordan person, no less.
Chloe, what’s going on?
CHLOE gets up and reluctantly follows MARTHA to the
kitchen. DANIEL recognizes JORDAN, slowly sits down next to
the kids and starts watching the show. They stare at him,
Page 92 of 122
In a minute...
EXT. BETSY’S CAR. NIGHT
The snow has thickened. BETSY tries to back out but the car
INT. THE STEARNS’ DINING ROOM. LATER
MATT is asleep on the couch. Everybody else is sitting at
the dinner table.
I’m so happy for you, son. Will
you be on again soon?
Well, ask Laura!
It all depends on reviews and
ratings. But Rosie’s support is
So when will we know?
Well, just based on Rosie’s
feedback, the network seems ready
to launch an ad campaign.
What’s the address?
Uncle Jordan Dot Com.
Cute. Whose idea was that?
Page 93 of 122
(looking at JORDAN)
I thought he was coming. Did he
HOPE and FRED exchange a puzzled look. KEITH interrogates
JORDAN with his gaze.
He has a new job and he’s putting
a lot of extra hours. You know how
How is he doing these days? Seeing
Are he and Betsy no longer
Oh, of course, Betsy.
They’re doing fine.
INT. THE STEARNS’. A MOMENT LATER
The doorbell rings. JORDAN opens the door.
(with forced enthusiasm)
Pablo! I’m so glad you could make
it. Thought you were behind with
(in a similar tone)
I am, but Betsy insisted on
sharing her recipe...
Page 94 of 122
You’re just in time for dessert!
The diners have got up and approached to greet the guests.
While FRED gets BETSY’s coat, PABLO has an aside with HOPE.
Nice to see you again, Hope.
Good to see you too, what a
pleasant surprise. You missed the
turkey, but promise me you’ll take
some leftovers home, all right?
Don’t I always?
(handing HOPE the pie)
It’s Betsy’s very own recipe.
Oh! Lovely! Hello, Betsy, nice to
finally meet you... Let’s clear
the table and we’ll have dessert
in the living room.
I’ll help you.
BETSY, slightly tipsy, smiles mischievously at PABLO, who
reacts with concern.
Darling, could you take Matt to
the bedroom so we can sit on the
The women go to the kitchen and FRED takes sleeping MATT to
the bedroom. KEITH, JORDAN and PABLO stand with their hands
in their pockets, sharing a long awkward silence.
So Pablo, I hear you finally got
Page 95 of 122
And you finally got that date!
Are you seeing someone?
Here’s a crazy idea: let’s all go
out together sometime.
HOPE returns and starts piling up more plates.
Let me help you.
You’re a dear. These two should be
PABLO and HOPE go to the kitchen.
So what exactly do you intend to
do this time around?
What’s it to you?
You’ve hurt her before.
I couldn’t offer her what she
What’s different now?
My idea of love was very narrow.
There’s always been something
there. A connection.
Doesn’t she know? About you?
Page 96 of 122
You mean my criminal record?
So she doesn’t.
She knows what I feel.
And that is?
I’ve followed my heart, I’ve
followed my dick, now I’m giving
my head a chance.
What about Pablo?
He’ll be all right. He doesn’t
need me now.
But who do YOU need?
FRED comes back to the table.
Heavy sleeper, like his father...
INT. THE STEARN’S KITCHEN. SAME TIME
LAURA and BETSY unwrap the pie and make coffee.
Looks like a mean pumpkin pie! You
are a homemaker after all!
Beats being a homewrecker...
LAURA’s expression becomes grave.
Page 97 of 122
Then it’s true? That Pablo is
seeing someone else?
BETSY, surprised for a second, pretends to break down and
leans her head on LAURA’s shoulder. LAURA hugs her.
So that’s what you were calling
about... I’m so self-involved,
please forgive me.
HOPE gets in and sees them, is startled. Collecting
herself, she places the dishes in the sink.
Keith was right about Pablo. He’s
been cheating on Betsy.
Please, whatever you’ve got going
on... could you keep me out of it?
INT. THE STEARNS’ LIVING ROOM. LATER
Everybody is having dessert. The silence is only broken by
the sound of silverware.
It’s delicious, Betsy.
You’re lucky to have someone like
Betsy around. Women who cook, in
this day and age...
She’s pure gold. Pablo would be a
fool not to see that.
BETSY, glowing at the compliment, looks at PABLO.
Page 98 of 122
(looking at JORDAN)
Oh, but I do. We’re all very
fortunate. May we all see it
before it’s too late.
PABLO raises his glass. The others follow.
Congratulations, son! You do have
a lot to be thankful for!
(looking at LAURA)
I guess I’m really lucky.
You deserved that break. Our
meeting was fate.
You mean fatal...
Can you believe that? Pablo is always
correcting my English too!
(looking at LAURA)
INT. THE STEARNS’ KITCHEN. LATER
LAURA is doing the dishes. BETSY is holding a glass of wine
and staring into space.
Do you know who she is?
The other woman?
Well, that’s one of the problems.
It’s a he.
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I guess I should be more
compassionate. I myself have
experienced unusual feelings
recently... Haven’t you?
Oh, I figured you’d know what I’m
You know, what with Jordan being
bisexual and all.
(leaving the kitchen)
(drunk, an outraged homemaker)
I hope you’re happy. You may have
ruined Jordan’s only chance to
lead a normal life.
KEITH takes BETSY’s glass off her hand and puts it in the
You want him to be with Laura?
Of course not. He belongs with
Pablo. (to LINDA) I just need you
out of the way.
Page 100 of 122
I need some air. You could use
some as well!
INT. HALLWAY. LATER
JORDAN is coming out of the bathroom. LAURA blocks his way.
I’m just curious... Were you
planning on telling me? Ever?
Telling you what?
Come on, Jordan.
Is that why you became so cold?
What did Keith tell you?
He had nothing to do with it.
Oh, I’m sure!
EXT. PORCH STEPS. A MOMENT LATER
KEITH is smoking and looking towards the street. JORDAN
comes out and stands behind him.
You had no business doing that.
I had no idea you two were
involved. One thing just led to
Page 101 of 122
From the shocked expression on JORDAN’s face upon hearing
the truth, KEITH realizes he has said too much.
Isn’t that what –-
-- And you accused me of
deception? You bastard...
JORDAN attacks KEITH, they fall to the ground and have a
fight in the snow. In the
Upon hearing JORDAN’s curses and KEITH’s pleas, LAURA and
PABLO rush to the window. HOPE and BETSY come out of the
kitchen. FRED gets up from his armchair.
(to LAURA and PABLO)
What’s going on?
They’re fighting over Laura.
Oh. Wasn’t she with you?
FRED is shocked.
So you’re just going to let them
fight over you?
You’re a fine one to judge. What
about your solemn vows?
Would I be here if I’d forgotten
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Then what are you waiting for to
make things right?
PABLO walks past BETSY out of the house. LAURA looks at
BETSY and is utterly confused.
EXT. THE STEARNS’ GARDEN. NIGHT
PABLO separates KEITH and JORDAN, KEITH goes back inside.
PABLO tries to examine a cut in JORDAN’s forehead.
Don’t touch me.
JORDAN turns and walks towards the street.
Where are you going?
For a walk. I want you all gone
when I come back.
Jordan, it’s me, Pablo.
(almost to himself;
JORDAN is out of range)
I love you.
PABLO returns to the house, where he hears agitated voices.
In the kitchen, MATT, in his pajamas, is choking. KEITH is
trying to help him. LAURA, HOPE, FRED and BETSY look on.
I’m calling 911!
He woke up hungry. No one was
A piece of dry fruit.
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Let me handle it.
Are you sure?
Once a waiter...
PABLO grabs MATT and performs a Heimlich maneuver on him.
EXT. PORCH STEPS. LATER
HOPE and FRED stand in the doorway. PABLO, BETSY, LAURA and
KEITH are leaving. KEITH is holding MATT.
Don’t worry, Dad. He must have
taken the train.
Drive safely now.
Is that sleepover still a good
He’ll be all right, Mom.
KEITH, LAURA and MATT walk to KEITH’s car.
Thank you Pablo!
PABLO waves goodbye.
Anytime! Have fun at your
Thank you, Hope.
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No, thank you for that delicious pie.
Now, about that car of yours...
FRED and BETSY walk to her car.
Thank you, Hope. It’s nice to know
you still like me.
Listen honey, you saved my grandson’s
life. You seem to be the only person
who’s not involved with Laura. So you
cheat on your wife. Big deal!
Have a good night.
EXT. PABLO’S STREET. MORNING
PABLO gets the paper at the corner deli. Looking at the
local section, PABLO finds an article entitled ―Everybody’s
Uncle‖ and smiles proudly. He buys extra copies of the
paper and starts reading the article. As he walks away, he
fails to notice the headline of a tabloid on display. The
picture is the one of PABLO, JORDAN and the male stripper
that DANIEL stole at PABLO’s, and the headline says "Uncle
Jordan’s Night Out".
INT. LAURA’S LIVING ROOM. MORNING
KEITH comes back from his run and finds a fresh fax on the
machine. It’s a copy of the tabloid article outing JORDAN.
The fax has a handwritten "To: Laura, From: Frank, Re: I
told you so".
EXT. JORDAN’S SOHO STREET.
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PABLO, a big smile on his face, is looking for the address
of JORDAN’s building.
INT. LAURA’S LIVING ROOM.
LAURA walks in wearing one of KEITH’s shirts, notices his
What is it baby?
KEITH shows LAURA the fax.
Oh shit. Where’s the phone?
LAURA picks up the phone.
Shouldn’t we check in on him?
He may not even know yet.
All the more reason to be gentle!
He’s not picking up. Why don’t you
go? I’ll get Matt and watch him
No, I’ll get Matt. I’ll bring him
INT. JORDAN’S LOFT. LATER
The buzzer rings. All JORDAN has done to the space since he
moved in is pile up all the boxes in one side and set up
the TV and VCR and an armchair. JORDAN is staring at his
TV. Rosie O’Donnell, a concerned look on his face, is
giving a press conference. JORDAN’s face is pale and his
expression is bitter.
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EXT. JORDAN’S BUILDING ENTRANCE.
PABLO is ringing the bell.
Jordan, it’s me.
No reply. After a few seconds, a large falling object
crashes onto the sidewalk near PABLO. It’s JORDAN’s TV set.
PABLO looks up, alarmed, then rings again.
Jordan? Are you all right?
PABLO looks up again, a page of a tabloid has started
flying slowly down from JORDAN’s window. The wind blows it
away from PABLO, who chases it down the street, and is
almost run over by a taxi. PABLO finally grabs the page and
reads it in shock. He is paralyzed. KEITH and MATT get out
of the taxi, they walk quickly to JORDAN’s building without
seeing PABLO. PABLO doesn’t see them either. MATT notices
Look, a dead TV!
KEITH rings the intercom.
INT. JORDAN’S LOFT.
The intercom is ringing. JORDAN is still sitting on his
armchair. Everything’s the same, except the window is open
and the TV set is gone.
EXT. JORDAN’S STREET.
From a distance, PABLO hears MATT’s voice and sees KEITH
talking to a WOMAN who is leaving the building.
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KEITH sees PABLO.
You stay away.
KEITH tells the woman something and points at PABLO. She
nods and lets KEITH and MATT in.
(to the WOMAN)
The WOMAN closes the door and walks away.
INT. JORDAN’S LOFT.
The doorbell rings.
Jordan, we’re here, open up!
Did you say "we"?
Hello Uncle Jordan!
JORDAN’s fury melts into a smile.
EXT. JORDAN’S STREET. SAME TIME
PABLO walks away.
INT. PABLO’S OFFICE. MORNING
PABLO, looking pale and disheveled, walks in and finds the
tabloid on his desk.
And how’s our family man today?
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PABLO leaves the office.
EXT. FLEA MARKET. LATER THAT MORNING
BETSY and PABLO are walking around the stands. With her
camera, BETSY takes random pictures of PABLO, who sips
So you just left?
Yep. I went straight to the travel
When are you flying?
Isn’t it all a bit sudden?
Suppose they didn’t care about the
papers. How long do you think
it’ll take before Todd started
ratting about my moonlighting?
I say you go back like nothing
happened. They know you’re good,
they’ll let it slide.
It’s not just that. It’s this
whole charade, the games I find
myself playing to force myself to
think I belong here. It’s a sign,
don’t you see? I wouldn’t have
seen that guy twice if I hadn’t
felt so lonely. I know I’d never
feel that lonely back home.
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Listen, you have to calm down.
I'm missing my kid sister’s
graduation. Hell, I’m missing my
nieces growing up, my parents
You think you wanna go back for
good because all this time you
couldn’t even visit. Go have a
summer vacation while we all
freeze if you like, your loved
ones must be dying to see you.
Just take a break. When you come
-- I don’t belong here.
Think about your future. After all
this time and money, after all
you’ve struggled you can finally
call this your home --
-- Jordan was my home, Betsy. I
make no sense here by myself.
But what about me? You have to
stay and divorce me. It’s the
least you can do!
Just let me know if you ever need
me to. But seriously.
It wasn’t your fault. Why wouldn’t
Jordan understand if you just
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Let me recap. The man dropped a TV
set on me.
Talk about a big TV break!
And this before any explaining
could be done. Before I knew I had
anything to explain!
But in time --
-- His career is ruined. And I’m
forever connected to that, can’t
you see? I’m in the picture!
Hey, you lost a lot too!
Precisely. I’ll drop by on
Saturday, O.K.? To say goodbye.
Come say hello. I don’t do
INT. JORDAN’S LOFT. EVENING
JORDAN is taking clothes out of the closet and putting them
in a box. The doorbell rings. JORDAN opens the door.
I guess this is my last chance to
see your fabulous place.
As you can see I never finished
moving in. Turned out to be a good
Do you really have to go?
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I could manage. But this place
never quite agreed with me.
No wonder you never made it a
Can I finish this box?
The movie’s at seven.
We’d better get going then.
I’m glad you called.
So am I.
JORDAN rubs her arm. They smile.
EXT. BETSY’S BUILDING. MORNING
It is an unseasonably warm winter day. JORDAN, in his
rollerblading gear, is about to ring BETSY’s buzzer when
she walks out.
Hi Jordan! I thought I'd sneak out
to get the paper before you came.
Isn’t it? For December? This may
be your last chance to enjoy the
Will you walk me to the store?
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BETSY is anxiously looking around and will glance at her
watch a couple of times during the conversation when JORDAN
is not looking.
I heard about the show... I'm sorry.
Well at least it was after those
great reviews. Not that it
matters, but it just shows what a
joke the whole thing is.
Not to mention the double
standard; look at Rosie: just a
little damage control and she’s
back on top... Do you think my
coming out would boost my book
I guess lesbians appear less
Except when drunk!
They share a laugh.
So how’s the wonderful world of
publishing these days?
Well, it’s getting busier again,
thank God... But I’m also working
on a photo show. Just in case.
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They get to the corner, BETSY gets the paper and
cigarettes, they sit on a bench in the sun.
I have to admit your call made me
more than a little curious.
Well, I wasn’t comfortable
discussing it on the phone.
I suppose it’s this pending debt I
have with you...
JORDAN reaches into his pouch for a check and hands it to
What are you doing? I didn’t let
Pablo pay the balance. What makes
you think I’m going to take your
Well, I always pressured him to do
this and I felt responsible...
You really shouldn’t. Having that
goal really helped him get his act
together. For a while he even had
a normal schedule...
JORDAN smiles to himself and looks away.
You know, a few years ago, I was
on a bus on my way to an
interview. Sitting at the back was
this incredibly handsome guy,
sound asleep. I sat opposite him
and noticed we were all looking at
him with some sort of... impunity.
You had to be working long nights
to be that dead to the world in
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the middle of the day... He was
slumbering away in his wrinkled
suit as if it were a pair of
pajamas, and every now and then he
would brush the shoulder of the
woman sitting next to him with his
head... Little by little people
got off. When my stop came I
realized I would never see the
color of his eyes or hear the
sound of his voice... So I stayed
on, just staring at him, until we
were the only two left. Before I
woke him up at the end of the line
I already knew I wanted to be the
only one to watch over him.
That was Pablo?
No, Antonio Banderas. Of course
that was Pablo! How’s he been?
You haven’t seen him?
Not recently. He’s obviously
better off without me...
Well you can see for yourself,
he’ll be here any minute.
I don’t think I’ll stick around
then. It takes a lot of hate to do
what he did.
No, you’ve got it all wrong...
I guess that’s what you were
calling about, huh? I’d better go.
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Thanks, Betsy. I’m sure you meant
JORDAN starts to rollerblade away.
But listen! There was a Third Man...
EXT. CENTRAL PARK. LATER
PABLO crosses the runners’ path on his bike into the park.
JORDAN takes the loop, rollerblading against the crowd.
They almost miss each other.
Hey! What are you doing North of
I’m on my way to Betsy’s. To say
PABLO dismounts and walks his bike.
I’m going home.
I meant to call you but I got the
feeling you didn’t want to hear
from me again.
They start walking down a lane.
Funny. I said something like that
a few minutes ago. But was it real
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hate or real love that made you
sink me without stopping to count
I’m sorry, but I really can’t take
the blame -–or the credit!
You can tell me the truth. You
know, by outing me you may have
saved me from becoming a total
Well, my job is not yet done if
you think I did it.
Well, what was I to think? I
mean... who else could I have
Why Rosie of course. First my
country, then your career. She
felt threatened by your charisma.
And your knowledge of geography!
No, really. How on earth could
that picture --
Someone stole it. Someone who had
a big crush on me. Or you, or both
Not really... Yet in a crazy way
we wouldn’t be talking right now
if it wasn’t for him...
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Hey, give Betsy some credit too...
She’d planned for us to meet.
Dear Betsy... So what’s life like
Oh, you know, not quite memoir
material yet, but I do live one
day at a time... I wouldn’t have
made it anyway, I was too old...
I’m thinking of going back to
school and getting that teaching
degree once and for all. Then I’ll
embark on a crusade to put
Argentina on the map!
Skip the degree. Just tell Rosie.
Are you really going?
But Betsy said you were doing
great at work! Except for, you
know, that Uncle Jordan thing.
Work is not everything.
So you’re still mad at me. Even
now that I’m a careerless old
What about Laura?
Do you really want to know?
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Well I can’t wait for all of us to
get together again. After the
triplets are born. Did Betsy tell
you we were expecting?
Yeah, right. Weren’t you leaving?
Yes. For a visit. I want to see
what real life there is like these
Can I come? After all, I’m free
until September and I’ve got some
They laugh. JORDAN starts rollerblading and PABLO gets on
his bike and follows. They cross FRANK, who’s pushing a
baby in an exercise stroller. He doesn’t see them.
Hey! Did you see that guy? That
Laura’s friend? I didn’t notice. I
was looking at the baby.
(turning to look)
Now there’s a dad for all seasons!
Could parenthood have that effect
Let’s take a closer look!
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PABLO and JORDAN turn around and catch up with FRANK. He
pulls the stroller aside and they start a conversation
about the baby.