VIEWS: 8 PAGES: 32 POSTED ON: 8/20/2011
Listening in IPC Sub topics • Stages of Listening • Styles of Listening • Culture, Gender and Listening Listening is a fundamental part of comm process. While hearing is a passive process that occurs without one paying any attention, listening is the act of hearing attentively. Lederman (1977), adults = 42% children = 58% . Some communication researchers as a more difficult activity than speaking. Why do we Listen? (Purposes) To Learn To acquire knowledge of others, the world, and yourself, so as to avoid problems and make more reasonable decisions. E.g. listening to the difficulties your sales staff has may help you improve sales training To Relate Form and maintain friendships and love relationships on the basis of social acceptance and popularity because people come to like those who are attentive and supportive. E.g. others will increase their liking for you once they feel you have genuine concern for them. To Influence Have an effect on the attitudes and behaviors of others because people are more likely to respect and follow those they feel have listened to and understood them. E.g. workers are more likely to follow your advice once they feel you have truly listened to and heard their points of view, concerns and insights. To Play Know when to suspend critical and evaluative thinking & when to simply engage in passive and accepting listening. E.g. listening to the stories of coworkers will allow you to gain a more comfortable balance between the corporate world and the world of play and perhaps to see humor in a world of seriousness. To Help Be able to assist other people because you hear more, emphasize more, and come to understand others more deeply. E.g. listening to your child‟s complaints about her teacher (instead of responding “What did you do wrong?”) will put you in a better position to help your child cope with school and with her teacher. Stages of Listening Listening involves a series of Five (5) Steps, namely:- Receiving Understanding Remembering Evaluating Responding 5 Stage Model of Listening Receiving Understanding Remembering Evaluating Responding Stage 1 – Receiving Listening begins with receiving the messages. The messages received are both verbal and nonverbal-gestures, facial expressions… Notes what is said & what is left out. Avoid distractions Focus attention on the speaker Maintains role as listener & avoid interruption. Stage 2 – Understanding Understanding is the stage which you learn what the speaker is talking about. Avoid assuming you know what the speaker is going to speak. Relate the new info with what you already have. See the message from the speaker‟s point of view. Ask questions to clarify info. Stage 3 – Remembering For effective listening, you need to remember the message. Taking notes or taping the messages in public speaking or workplace. What you remember is actually not what was said but what you think (or remember) was said. Memory for speech is not reproductive, memory is reconstructive. Stage 4 – Evaluating Evaluating consists of judging the message in some way – intentions / motives, awareness This evaluation process often goes on without much conscious awareness. In other situation, your evaluation is more in the nature of critical analysis. Listening to a proposal in a business meeting. Stage 5 – Responding Responding occurs in 2 phases: responses you make while the speaker is talking and responses you make after the speaker stops talking. These responses include back channeling cues, such as “I see”, “yes”, “uh-huh”, and similar signals that let the speaker know you are listening. Problem causing Listening responses Listener Types Listening Misinterpreting Thoughts (Responding Behaviour) The Static Gives no feedback, Why isn’t she reacting; Listener remains relatively am I not producing motionless sound? The Seems responsive Am I making sense? monotonous but never vary; Why is he still smiling? I feedback giver regardless of what am being dead serious. you say, the response is the same. The Overtly Reacts to just about Why is she so expressive Listener everything with expressive? I didn’t extreme responses say anything that is provocative. She will have a heart attack when I get to the punch line. The reader/writer Reads or writes Am I that boring? Is about matters last week’s student having nothing to newspaper more do with what the interesting than speaker is saying, me?. while listening and only occasionally glances. The Eye avoider Looks all around Why isn’t he the room and at looking at me? Do I others but never have spinach on my you. teeth? The pre-occupied Listens to other When is she going listener things at the same to shut that music time, often with the off and really sound so loud that listen? Am I so it interferes with boring that my talk your own thinking needs background music?. The waiting Listens for a cue to Is he listening to Listener take over the me or rehearsing speaking turn his next interruption? The thought- Listens a little and Am I that completing then finishes your predictable? Why listener thought do I bother saying anything? He already knows what I’m going to say. So How well do you listen? Styles of Listening Empathic and Objective Listening If you are to understand what a person means and what a person feels, you need to listen with some degree of empathy – to empathize with others is to feel with them, to feel what they feel… Empathic listening helps you enhance your relationships. Guideline for adjustment. Punctuate from the speaker‟s point of view – see the sequence of events as he speaks. Engage in equal, two way communication Seek to understand both thoughts and feelings. Avoid offensive listening Strive to be objective. Non-judgmental and critical Listening. Listen non-judgmentally: with an open mind with a view toward understanding. Listen critically: with a view toward making some kind of evaluation/ judgment. Listen first for understanding while suspending judgment. Evaluate or judge Only after you have fully understood the relevant messages. Guidelines for adjustment Keep an open mind. Recognize your own biases. Avoid filtering out or oversimplifying complex messages. Be sure to listen critically to the entire message when you need to make evaluations and judgments. Surface and Depth Listening. Listen and understand the explicit (literal readings) and implicit meanings. Ex: Carol asks you how you like her new haircut. Explicit: Do you like the haircut? Implicit: Asking you to say something positive about her haircut The parent who complains about working hard at the office may be asking for an expression of appreciation. The child who talks about the unfairness of the other children in the playground may be asking for comfort and love. If you respond only to the surface-level comm.you miss the opportunity to make meaningful contact with the other person‟s feelings and needs. Guidelines for adjustment. Focus on both verbal and nonverbal messages. Listen to what was said and what was left out. Listen for both content and relational messages. Make special note of statements that refer back to the speaker. Don’t disregard the literal meaning of interpersonal messages in trying to uncover the hidden meaning. Active and Inactive Listening. Active listening: a process of sending back to the speaker what you as a listener think the speaker meant both in content and feelings. Functions of active listening: Help you as a listener to check your understanding of what the speaker said or meant. Reflecting back perceived meanings to the speaker gives the speaker an opportunity to offer clarification and correct any misunderstandings. You let the speaker know that you acknowledge and accept his/her feelings. Stimulates the speaker to explore feelings and thoughts. Useful techniques in active listening: Paraphrase the speaker’s meaning. Express understanding. Ask questions. Culture, gender & listening Members of different cultures vary on a number of communication dimensions that influence listening: E.g. the thumb and forefinger forming a circle means „OK‟ (US), „money‟ (Japan), „Zero‟ (Mediterranean), „I‟ll kill you‟ (Tunisia) Speech and language. Nonverbal behavioral differences. Preferences for direct and indirect styles of comm. Men and women may listen differently. Women give more specific listening cues to show they are listening than do men. e.g. yeah‟, „em‟, eye contact.
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