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					                          Chapter 2

 Writing for Business Audiences




Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e   Ch. 2-1
                                                              Ch. 2-1
 Improving Your Business Writing

• The best business writing is
  • Audience oriented
  • Purposeful
  • Economical
• To improve your writing skills, you need
  •   Good teaching materials with excellent model documents
  •   An effective writing process
  •   A trainer (like your instructor)
  •   Practice

 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e   Ch. 2-2
              The Writing Process



Stage 1: Prewriting       Stage 2: Writing        Stage 3: Revising
    Analyzing              Researching                Revising
   Anticipating             Organizing              Proofreading
    Adapting                Composing                Evaluating




 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e   Ch. 2-3
     Factors Determining Channel
               Selection

• Importance of message
• Amount and speed of feedback required
• Necessity of a permanent record
• Cost of the channel
• Degree of formality required

 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e   Ch. 2-4
     Factors Determining Channel
               Selection

Possible Channels:
  E-mail, fax, letter, memo, report, telephone,
   voice mail, meeting, conversation, Web
      • What channel is best to announce decreased
        insurance benefits for 250 employees?
          E-mail or memo




 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e   Ch. 2-5
    Factors Determining Channel
              Selection
 • What channel is best for a sales message promoting
   a new product to customers?
     Letter
 • What channel is best for responding to similar
   customer inquiries?
     Web, letter, telephone




Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e   Ch. 2-6
                  Reader Benefits

Shape your statements to involve the
reader. Strive to develop the “you” attitude.
Instead of this:                    Try this:
  We are promoting a new               You will enjoy total
  plan that we believe has             peace of mind with our
  many outstanding                     affordable hospitali-
  benefits.                            zation plan that meets all
                                       your needs.

 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e   Ch. 2-7
                  Reader Benefits

Shape your statements to involve the
reader. Strive to develop the “you” attitude.
Instead of this:                    Try this:
  Before we can allow you              You may begin making
  to purchase items on this            purchases on your new
  new account, we must                 account in two weeks.
  wait two weeks to verify
  your credit.

 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e   Ch. 2-8
                  Reader Benefits

Shape your statements to involve the
reader. Strive to develop the “you” attitude.
Instead of this:                    Try this:
  I need your response                 Your quick response
  immediately so that I can            means your vacation
  make the employee                    schedules will be ready
  vacation schedule by                 next week.
  next week.

 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e   Ch. 2-9
        Conversational Language

Instead of this:                   Try this:
  The undersigned takes               I’m happy to . . . .
  pleasure in . . . .
Instead of this:                   Try this:
  It may be of some                   We’ve credited your
  concern to you to learn             account for $250.
  that your check has been
  received and your
  account has been
  credited for $250.

 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 2-10
                Positive Language

Instead of this:                    Try this:
  Employees may not use               Employees may use the
  the First Street entrance           Market Street entrance
  during remodeling.                  during remodeling.
Instead of this:                    Try this:
  We cannot fill your order           We can fill your order
  until we receive an exact           once we receive an exact
  model number.                       model number.


 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e   Ch. 2-11
                Hidden Messages

  Some words and phrases convey a
  negative and unpleasant tone. They
  may imply a hidden message that the
  writer does not intend. Think twice
  before using the following negative
  expressions.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 2-12
                 Hidden Messages

Negative Language:                 Hidden message:
  You overlooked                        You are careless
  You state that                        But I don’t believe you
  You failed to                         You are careless
  You claim that                        It’s probably untrue
  You are wrong                         I am right
  You do not understand                 You are not very bright
  Your delay                            You are at fault
  You forgot to                         You are inefficient and
                                              careless
 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 2-13
               Inclusive Language


Instead of this:                   Try this:
  Have you called a                   Have you called a
  salesman?                           salesperson?

  Every executive has his             All executives have their
  own office.                         own offices.



 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 2-14
                  Try Your Skill

Revise this sentence to create a more
conversational tone and to state your idea
positively.
 • The undersigned takes great pleasure in
   welcoming you to our staff.
   I’m happy to welcome you to our staff.


Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 2-15
                  Try Your Skill


Revise this sentence to create a more
conversational tone and to state your idea
positively.
 • We cannot send your order from our
   warehouse until June 1.
   Your order will be on its way to you June 1.


Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 2-16
                  Try Your Skill


Revise this sentence to create reader
benefits.
 • I have 15 different financial plans to offer my
   investors.
   You have 15 different financial plans from
   which to choose.


Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 2-17
                  Try Your Skill

Revise this sentence to create reader
benefits.
 • We want all newly hired employees to use our
   carpooling program for at least three months.
   As a newly hired employee, you won’t have to
   drive to work for the first three months
   because you can carpool.


Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 2-18
                 Plain Language

Avoid federalese, bureaucratese, and inflated
language.
Federalese: Each person to whom the request is herein addressed
is henceforth solicited to submit, or to have his or her department
representative submit, to the Department of Labor official
described above, a comment on whether the proposed plan, in his
or her considered view, meets the requirements of the 2003 law.
Simple Translation: You may wish to comment on whether the
proposed plan meets the requirements of the 2003 law.

Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 2-19
                  Familiar Words

Avoid long, difficult, and unfamiliar words.
Use short, simple, and common words
whenever possible.
Less familiar words:                Simple alternatives:
  encounter                            meet
  extrapolate                          project
  obligatory                           required
  terminate                            end

 Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 2-20
                  Try Your Skill

Revise this sentence using simpler
language.
 • You may encounter difficulties in terminating
   the contract.
   You may meet difficulties in ending the
   contract.



Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 2-21
                  Try Your Skill

Revise this sentence using simpler
language.
 • As stipulated, we extrapolated the budget
   figures for two years.
   As required, we projected the budget figures
   for two years.



Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 2-22
                  Try Your Skill

Revise this sentence using simpler
language.
 • Will you utilize workbooks during the
   obligatory training period?
   Will you use workbooks during the required
   training period?



Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 2-23
                  Try Your Skill

Revise this sentence using simpler
language.
 • We anticipate that a majority of the
   alternatives will be fundamental enough to
   meet our requirements.
   We expect that most of the choices will be
   basic enough to meet our needs.


Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 2-24
      Seven Ways Technology Can
     Improve Your Business Writing
• Fighting writer’s block
• Collecting information electronically
• Outlining and organizing ideas
• Improving correctness and precision
• Adding graphics for emphasis
• Designing and producing professional-looking
  documents, presentations, and Web pages
• Using collaborative software for team writing
    Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 2-25
                             End




Mary Ellen Guffey, Essentials of Business Communication, 6e Ch. 2-26
                                                            Ch. 2-26

				
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