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									       Christ the King
     Bridging Home & School
Building a Community of Reverence




          Frank A. DiLallo
 Safe & Drug Free Schools Consultant
          Diocese of Toledo
          419-244-6711 X632
                      Agenda
   Bullying Facts
   Defining Bullying
   Bullying Indicators
   Christ the King Stance on Bullying
   Importance of Reporting
   Tips for Parents
   Peace Be With You Program
   Questions
   Adjourn
             Bullying Facts
   One in seven school children is a bully or
    target

   Five million elementary and junior high
    students in the U.S. are directly affected

   Twenty two percent of fourth through
    eighth graders report academic difficulties
    resulting from peer abuse
             Bullying Facts
   Ten to fifteen percent of all children report
    being bullied on a regular basis

   160,000 children miss school every day, due to
    fear of attack or intimidation by other students

   Two thirds of school shootings can be traced to
    retaliation by the target

                           National Association of School Psychologists (NASP)
            Bullying Facts
   76.8 percent of students in a Mid-
    Western study say they have been
    bullied

   Every year 2,000 children between 13
    and 19 take their own lives. The teen
    suicide rate has increased by 400
    percent in the last two decades
What is Bullying?
A desire to hurt a person or group
           + hurtful action
      + an imbalance of power
      + an unjust use of power
       + (typically) repetition
   + satisfaction for the aggressor
+ a sense of being hurt on the part of
               the target
                      Dr. Ken Rigby
          Professor Southern Australia University
       Teasing vs. Bullying
   Bullying and its outcomes are always
    intended and typically repeated


   Teasing and its outcomes are often
    NOT intended, may be isolated or
    repeated. Centers on a lack of
    awareness regarding potential
    outcomes
     Three Forms of Bullying
1. Physical
2. Emotional

3. Social
             Direct Physical
 Kicking, biting, punching, pushing,
 scratching, pulling hair, pinching, choking,
 poking, t-bagging, eraser burns, swirlies,
 arm twisting, grabbing, nipple twisting,
 tripping, head banging, use of any object to
 cause harm, i.e., bat, ball, stick or stone.
           Direct Emotional
 Verbal abuse: name calling, slanderous
  comments about: gender, race, religion,
  appearance, social status, sexual
  orientation or family
 Exclusion
         Indirect Social
 Any  form of relational aggression
 Exclusion: keeping out, barring,
  prohibiting, eliminating, segregating
 Ostracizing: banishing, shunning,
  ignoring, snubbing, coventry
 spreading rumors, use of technology to
  alienate, humiliate or denigrate, i.e.,
  hate websites, sexting, IMing,
 Cyberbullying/Technobullying

 Use   of technology: to alienate,
 humiliate or denigrate, i.e., Hate
 Websites, FaceBook, Emails, Iming
 or Sexting
     Three Main Characters
1.   BULLY

2.   TARGET (VICTIM)

3.   BYSTANDERS
 THE BULLYING TRIANGLE
BULLY               BYSTANDER

        COVERT
        CONTRACTS


          TARGET
      Bullying Dynamic
 Some students are bullies, targets &
 bystanders

 Teacher responses have life long
 implications
           Social Teaching
   Bullying= Act of violence

   Human Rights Violation

   Bullying is a sin
        Target Indicators
Complain of:
 Headaches stomach aches
 Difficulty eating

 Trouble sleeping

 Frequent nightmares
          Target Indicators
Appear:
 Sad
 Depressed
 Moody
 Anxious
 Poor self-esteem
      Target Indicators
 Damaged,  torn or missing
 clothing, books or belongings

 Unexplained   cuts, bruises or
  scratches
         Target Indicators
 Appear or talk about being afraid of
 going to school

 Lost interest in schoolwork or other
 activities

 Seem   to have no friends
  Implications for Target
 Targetsof bullying can be hurt in
 ways that last a lifetime
            Bully Indicators
   High self-esteem (Arrogance)
   Low Empathy
   Highly competitive
   Overly aggressive (Physical or Verbal)
   Demanding
   Problems with authority
   Write “revenge lists”
   Leadership skills (misguided)
      Victim to Offender
The healthy man does not torture
others generally it is the tortured
who turn into the torturers.

                             Carl Jung
    Implications for Bully
 Bullying   has life long implications for
 the bully
        Bystanders Indicators
   Active
     Gain   satisfaction from instigating

   Passive
     Afraid of being called a “Rat” or
    “Tattletale”

   Active & Passive feel absolved of any wrong
    doing
  Implications for Bystanders
 Bullyinghas life long implications for
 both active and passive bystanders
             School Impact
   Bullying affects the whole school

   Bullying does not go away without
    appropriate intervention

   School bullying undermines our academic
    mission

   School bullying jeopardizes the safety of our
    school
            School Impact
   Bullying impacts learning and teaching
    in negative ways

   Bullying can generate serious social
    and/or legal consequences
Important Facts for Parents

The adults at my child’s school
take reports of bullying seriously

The school has a plan for
responding to reports of bullying
       Report Bullying
 Report   bullying immediately!

 Establish   reporting mechanism
          First Responders
   Parents are first responders by listening
    to their children and reporting
    immediately

   Teachers are often first responders to
    reports of bullying from their students
            School Response
   Bullying is not tolerated in our Catholic Schools

   Increased vigilance and supervision can
    immediately impact bullying behavior


   Corrective & formative action
             School Response
   The school has a plan for responding to
    reports of bullying
                    Prevention




    Intervention                  Support
  What is a Christ-Centered Climate?
     A culture of reverence is established
whereby every student and adult is valued as
   a Child of God, trusting the school is a
 reliable place to learn and grow as a whole
   person through academic, spiritual and
            extracurricular pursuits
     Community of Reverence
   Leadership occurs as a power-with not power-over
   Communication is honest, open and transactional
   High levels of support are present among peers
   Performance expectations are high for self/others
   Norms support academic excellence and maximize
    students’ strengths
   Conflict is dealt with constructively and peacefully
     PEACE BE WITH YOU
                  Christ as Model



                    Life
                     of the
                  Trinity
Dignity for All                     Pure of Heart
    Three Phase Content
Phase I: Social Responsibility

Phase II: Interpersonal Skills

Phase III: Intrapersonal Skills
     PEACE Be With You
          Leadership




       Transparency

Interpersonal     Intrapersonal
       Teacher Manual


Peace Be With You:
   Christ-centered Bullying Solution
    Teacher Manual

26 Guided Classroom Activities
     Student Workbook

Peace Be With You:
   Christ-centered Bullying Solution
        Student Workbook

   8 Journal Entries
   1 Leader Folder Activity
   Four Agreements Contract
   42 Student Worksheets
         Four Agreements
1. I agree to not bully anyone (including adults).
2. I agree to include anyone who is left out.
3. I agree to help myself and others (including
    adults) get closer to a “10.”
4. I agree to Speak Out with two adults—one at
    school and one at home— whenever I see
    anyone not being treated like a “10.”
     Peace Be With You
          Overall Purpose
We are called by Christ to follow His
 teachings of social justice, love our
     neighbor and pure of heart
         Phase I
Christ is Our Model for
       Leadership
   (Social Responsibility)
      Phase I Purpose
     To engage students in
structured opportunities to learn
about social injustices and what
  Christ tells us about equality
        and justice for all
   Phase II
Dignity for All
      Phase II Purpose
    Students are immersed in a
       communal process to
    experience the work of the
 Holy Spirit in an effort to reconcile
        injustices and move
compassionately toward forgiveness
           Sacramental Steps

1.   Come to sacrament for healing— Gratitude
2.   Confess— Data
3.   Come with sorrow and contrition— Feelings
4.   Forgiveness— Actions or change of heart
5.   Make restoration, amends— Wants or
           What am I going to do different?
 Phase III
Pure of Heart
     Phase III Purpose
To deepen student understanding of
   the importance and power of
      prayer/meditation and
        being pure of heart
“I’m a study of a man in
chaos in search of frenzy.”
                 Oscar Levant
  TIPS FOR PARENTS

It is my responsibility to inform
  and work with the school to
      resolve bullying issues

What I teach my child at home
affects what he/she thinks and
         does at school
  TIPS FOR PARENTS

Teach children to be assertive, but
 not aggressive or violent, when
      confronted by a bully
  TIPS FOR PARENTS

Instruct your child to walk away and
  seek help from their Teacher or
  Principal and tell you as soon as
              possible
  TIPS FOR PARENTS

    Practice various responses to
bullying with your children through
            role-playing
  TIPS FOR PARENTS

Respond to your children’s concerns
    with patience and support
BRIDGING HOME & SCHOOL

Concepts of fairness, respect, dignity,
  diversity and belonging are readily
 integrated at home and infused into
 classroom instruction, management
       and discipline at school

								
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