In the Meantime
Author: Iyanla Vanzant
You know where you want to be, but you have no clue how to get there. You know exactly what you want
in life, but what you want is nowhere in sight. Perhaps your vision is unclear, your purpose still undefined.
On top of it all, your relationships, particularly your romantic relationships, are failing. If these scenarios
feel familiar way down in the deepest part of your gut--then you, my dear, are smack dab in the middle of
the meantime.Your mother, bless her heart, and your father, with all of his good intentions, did not
prepare you for the meantime. They did not because they could not. No one can prepare you or help you
find what you are looking for. What you need is love, not romance. Love, not more money. Love, not a
new car. Love is the only thing that can make the meantime worthwhile. Once you find love, true selflove,
and unconditional love for everyone all the time, things will look, feel, and be a lot better. The question is:
What do you do in the meantime?Every living being wants to experience the light of love. The problem is
that our windows are dirty! The windows of our hearts and minds are streaked with past pains and hurts,
past memories and disappointments. The windows are so clouded by fear, self-doubt, and inaccurate
information that the light of love cannot shine through. In the meantime, we keep looking through the
foggy window, trying to convince ourselves that what we see is the real thing. It's not, and we know it, but
we can't seem to figure out what to do until the real thing comes along. What we must do is clean. We
must clean the windows, floors, walls, closets, and corners of our mind. We must mop and sweep away
the stuff that trips us up, keeps us confused, and makes the meantime miserable. In this book, Iyanla
Vanzant tells us how we can do this thorough mental housekeeping. If we do a good job of it, the light will
come through. Once that happens, our spirits will shine, bringing in the light of true love and happiness.
From Chapter OneShe was not looking for him. He was not looking for her. As a matter of fact, they were
both somewhat attached to other people. Yet, the minute they saw each other, their body parts began to
twitch, and their eyes began to sparkle. The meantime was brewing. They worked their way across the
room, neither aware that the other was doing the same thing. He spoke first. No, she did. She asked him
a silly question to which he and his twitching body parts were more than willing to respond. He ducked
his attachment. She ducked hers. They needed some time to talk. They did, and they laughed,
something neither of them seemed to do very often with their attachments. They exchanged telephone
numbers to their places of employment. Although they both knew, they both acted like they didn't.
Reluctantly, they both rejoined their attachments, and together they entered a simmering pot of
meantime stew.When you are not happy where you are and you are not quite sure if you want to leave or
how to leave, you are in the meantime. It's a state of limbo. You are hanging on, ready to let go, afraid to
fall, not wanting to hurt yourself, afraid you will hurt someone else. In the meantime, you pray the other
person will let go first so that you will not feel guilty.The other person keeps dropping hints, letting you
know that it's time to go. You deny it! Why? You don't know why, but I can tell you that the meantime is
fraught with don't knows and can't do's. Don't know why I can't go. Don't know why I should stay. Don't
know where I'm going. Don't know how I am going to get there, wherever there is. Ambivalence, confusion,
reluctance, and paralysis are all characteristics of the meantime. If you knew the answers to these
questions you would be just fine. In the meantime, you are many things, fine is probably not one of them!
Life would be so much easier if, when we hit a snag in a relationship, any relationship, we would stop,
address it, and move ahead smoothly. The truth is, in most cases, we could do just that. The reality is,
we don't do it! We keep moving. We allow little insults to become raging angers, little arguments to
become festering feuds, little pains to become deep wounds, and we keep moving. In many cases, we
keep hurting. When the relationship at issue is an intimate, loving one, the attempt to move forward
without addressing the pain only complicates matters, further poisoning the relationship.How can I stay
and not get hurt? How can I go without hurting? You cannot answer these questions if you are in pain.
What you can do is make the effort to discover the truth about love, because it is the only thing that can
help you move through the experience. In the meantime, if we can remain loving of ourselves and toward
other people by staying in conscious and honest communication, a disruption, snag, or delay in a
relationship becomes a healing process. When we cannot, we engage in meantime behavior--hurting,
fighting, not telling the truth, and moving forward in confusion. Confusion begets confusion.Back to our
meantime lovers. Two weeks later, she called him at work. He had already called her twice, but hung up
when her voice mail answered. In the meantime, they each tried to convince themselves that they should
not call each other again, but they desperately needed to see each other. He invited her out for a drink.
She set the date, time, and place. He showed up with a...
With more than 8 million books in print, Iyanla Vanzant has truly established a dedicated fan
base.Iyanla's path to success took her through a multitude of life-changing experiences that shaped the
profound insights she eagerly shares with others. A neglected, overweight, sexually abused child who
was shuttled from one family to another, she became a teenage mother on welfare living in the projects of
a major urban city. Vanzant took control of her life when she walked out of her second abusive marriage
and entered Medgar Evers College in New York and then the City University of New York Law School.
She moved to Philadelphia with her children and became a public defender for three years. Then she
eventually became an ordained minister, who was committed to a message based on the principles of
divine power and self-determination.Iyanla combined her professional skills with her life's lessons and
embarked on a writing and speaking career. Her mass appeal is evident in her overwhelming success as
an author. In the Meantime was a #1 New York Times bestseller, where it spent 20 weeks on the list, and
she has had numerous other major bestsellers. As a nationally recognized speaker she has sold out
such prestigious venues as New York's Jacob Javits Convention Center, Nashville's Grand Ole Opry,
Atlanta's Civic Center, and the Wiltern Theater in Los Angeles. Vanzant is also familiar to the daytime TV
audience from her role as a regular contributor on "The Oprah Winfrey Show."Acclaimed journalist and
producer Barbara Walters recognized Vanzant's extraordinary appeal, seeing in her a "breakaway talent"
with the potential for huge success in daytime television. With Walters and partner Bill Geddie on board
to executive produce, Buena Vista Productions to develop the show, and Buena Vista Television as
distributor, the road to Iyanla was forged.Vanzant has received numerous accolades for her work. In 1992
Los Angeles mayor Tom Bradley named October 21st "Tapping the Power Withi
Iyanla Vanzant focuses on healing lives and letting people know that someone cares.