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					                    CASS CITY, MICHIGAN                                                                                                 CASS CITY CHRONICLE-THURSDAY, JUNE 1,1989                                                                                                             PAGE THREE

                                                                                                                                                                                                               “lf It Fitz...              99

                                                                                                                                                                                                                          No mistake
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           By Jim Fitrgerald

                 Whoops! Our readers were quick to p i n t out that there
                                                                                                                                                                                                             “There must be some been no mistake, a depres- membrance” is: “I’m sur-
                                                                                                                                                                                                           m s a e ”I said. It was one sing fact immediately con- prised YOU rm~ember.”
               have been athletes from Cass City High School and the                                                                                                                                       of the cliches I remem-          firmed by her retort:              Whenever you hear that via
            , Thumb that made the grade in big time college sports                                                                                                                                         bered from “War and Re-             “Eat it. you like it.”          an audio system, you can
             . programs. Not peripheral athletes either.
             ,                                                                                                                                                                                             membrance,” the final               I’m almost 63 years old         be sure the retort will be:
                 Roger Marshall corralled me t tell about Bob McEach-
                                                o                                                                                                                                                          1,234 cha ters.                  and she doesn’t think I’m          “How could I forget?”
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            old enough to know what I             MY wife often expresses

             ,em, a world class trackman at Ohio Statebefore his untimely                                                                                                                                    My w& and I watched
             death in a plane crash. McEachern was a neighbor and a                                                                                                                                        every minute of that TV          don’t like to eat. That’s the      surprise when I remember
             ’ member of Marshall’s class in Cass City.
                                                                                                                                                                                                           mu-series just to see if         way she’s served meals for         other times she has insisted
                 John Maharg informed me that Julia Sturm from Elkton-                                                                                                                                     Etobert Mitchum would            all of our 34years of wedded       1l k e the taste of something
                                                                                                                                                                                                           ever remove his incredibly       chewing and swallowing.            I hate. Whenever she says
             .~Pigeon-Bay   Port is a member of the volleyball team at a                                                                                                                                   good disguise and reveal he      Fortunately, I like most           something like what she
               major school.                                                                                                                                                                               really wasn’t a turtle.          food and she’s a good cook.        said about applesauce and
             ;’ And a whole host of you called t tell me about Carrie
                                                     o                                                                                                                                                        Mitchum didn’t, but our       The only problem is that           stewed pineapple, she In-
             :Lautner, who was an outstanding performer on the UCLA                                                                                                                                        faithful viewership didn’t       when I raise an extremely          sists It’s the first time she’s
             ;strack team.                                                                                                                                                                                 go      completely      me-      rare objection - t,o               behaved irrationally, culi-
                 There were several outstanding athletes from the area in                                                                                                                                  warded: To my wife’s be-         parsnips, say - my wife            nary-wise. She always de-
               earlier years before my arrival at the paper.                                               TUSCOLA COUNTY SHERIFF Tom Kern recently intro-                                                 musement, the series en-         absolutely refuses to honor        nleS It when 1 say she is
                                                                                                                                                                                                           couraged me to relive the        it.                                always telling me to “Eat
                                                  +++++++++++                                              duced 3 new deputies who recently joined his department.                                        deprived days of my youth           She always explains her         it. YOUlike it” even though
                                                                                                           They are (from left) Gerald Dunham, Kevin Thane and Gary                                        when there weren’t two TV        unexplainable attitude, as         It’s carrots and she’s known
                                                                                                                                                                                                           sets i every home, and you
                                                                                                                                                                                                                 n                          in the case of the stewed          for 34 years that I’ve never
                      A couple of other notes while on a sports kick. Playing                              Miller, all of whom are currently working in corrections.                                                                        pineapple:       44you like        once bitten into a cooked
                    golf should not be too expensive for Rich Tate this summer.                                                                                                                            had to go to a movie theater
                                                                                                                                                                                                           to learn that, when some-        applesauce on pork chops,          carrot without gagging.
                    He h a s k e n amemberof the winning team in 2 tournaments,                                                                                                                            one says, “There must be         SO YOU must like crushed              How could 1 forget the
                    the Gavel Invitational and the invitational at Scenic Golf                           At sheriff%department                                                                             some mistake,” there defi-       pineapple on ice cream.”           first time my wife said I
                    Course.                                                                                                                                                                                nitely has been no mistake,          She really said that, and      liked broccoli because I
                       Jeff Hartel, a graduate of Cass City High School and a                                                                                                                              just as surely as when           when I meekly suggested                     coconut bars? No
                    former assistant coach at Cass City, has won the varsity
                    coaching post at Forest Hills High School, a class B school
                    in Grand Rapids.
                                                                                                         Air promotion, 3 hirings                                                                          someone says, “Let’s go
                                                                                                                                                                                                           someplace where we can
                                                                                                                                                                                                           talk,”they could talk if they
                                                                                                                                                                                                           stayed where they were, as
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            she was comparing apples
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             and pineapples, not to men-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            tion meat and frozen milk,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             she said: 46youonly like
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               more than Robert Mitchum
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               could forget the first time
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               Victoria Tenant said she’d
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               like to sleep with a turtle.
                                                  ++++++++++                                                  Tuscola County Sheriff ously workedat Webe;Steel          some money by staffing the         indicated by the fact that        applesauce because your              Onward and Upward.
                                                                                                          Tom Kern announced the and Body, Richville, for 15            marine division with part-         they are already talking          mother made it. You never         Let’s go someplace where
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             form your own tastes.”            YOU can read this.
                     Looking for a bargain? A sign on the highway announced
                    the availabilityofcondoson LakeCharlevoixin Boyne City.
                                                                                                          promotion of one deputy and years.
                                                                                                          introduced 3 new officers         Thane, a Car0 native,
                                                                                                                                                                        time officers certified only
                                                                                                                                                                        for marine patrol, instead of
                                                                                                                                                                                                              TV is so pervasive today          Listen, I take notes.           r-------
                                                                                                          during arecent news confer- graduated from Car0 High          using full-time road offi-         that children speak it.
                    Prices start at $33,900. But read the fine print. What you get                                                                                      cers.                              Emily, 7, crashed her bike
                    for the money is a quarter interest in the least desirable unit                       ence in Caro.                  Schoolin 1982. The 25-                                            into a second bike, parked
                                                                                                            Deputy Pat Woidan, a 12- year-old plans to attend              Also, Kern noted he has
                    available. Mark me down as cynical, but do you suppose
                    those “bargain” prices are for the months of March, April                             year veteran of the depart- Delta College.                    donated use of the                 and riderless, creating an
                                                                                                                                                                                                           awful accident scene. ‘‘Are
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Another cliche remem-               Are Newsy TOO!
                                                                                                          ment, was promoted to ser-      Also during the press con-    department’s diving equip-                                          bered from “War and Re-
                    and May? Just asking.                                                                                                                                                                  you all right?” I asked.
                                                                                                          geant.                         ference, Kern said the         ment to the county’s Volun-           “Now, let’s watch that
                                                   ++++++++++                                               Woidan and deputies Cur- department’s marine divi-
                                                                                                          tis Chambers and Glen sion has received its new
                                                                                                                                                                        teer Dive Rescue Team,
                                                                                                                                                                        headed by Car0 Police Sgt.
                                                                                                                                                                        Duane Sprague.
                                                                                                                                                                                                           again in slow motion,” she
                                                                                                                                                                                                              Anyway, what I liked
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Wednesday is...
                     There is just no figuring traffic patterns these days. It used                       Skrent were the top 3 final- boat, a 20-foot Shamrock.
                                                                                                          ists for the promotion fol-      Kern noted the state paid.      Kern explained that the         about “War and Remembr-
                    to l that the return trip after a long holiday weekend would                                                                                        sheriff‘s department usedt   o     ance” was that dates were
                    include inevitable trafficjams. Monday afternoontraffic on                            lowing written and oral ex- 75 percent of the boat pur-                                          continually printed across
                                                                                                          ams taken by a total of 7 chase, and Lindy’s of               have 7 certified divers, but
                    1-75 was less than on many normal weekends during the                                                                                               maintaining certification          the bottom of the screen.
                    summer.                                                                               candidates, according to Quanicassee has donated a                                               This enabled me to keep my
                                                                                                          Kern, who commended each boat slip, which hopefully           has become very costly.            wife informed on what was
                      It wasn’t because the tourist count was down. There were                                                                                           Now, he added, the equip-
                    scads of people everywhere you looked. Probably most                                  of the finalists.              will translate into quicker                                       about to happen. For exam-
                                                                                                            A 1960 Car0 High School response times.                      ment, which is to be re-          ple, when the date was July
                    drivers feared the worst and stayed off the road during the                                                                                          turned if the team breaks up,
                                                                                                          graduate, Woidan has lived       The sheriff said he hopes                                       15, 1944, I told her, “Hitler
                    normal peak traffic periods.                                                                                                                         can be put to good use.           is really in trouble now.’’
                                                                                                          in the county for 38 of his 39 to save the department
                                                                                                                                                                                                              “why? ”

                    :I               The Weather
                      Tuesday ......................................
                                                                      High Low Precip.
                                                                        70 ..... 50 ...... 0 ..
                                                                                                           H was hired in September
                                                                                                          1977, and completed his
                                                                                                          certification training at          Te
                                                                                                                                                                                                              “I just got drafted.”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                TRY I ;YOU’U
                    . Wednesday.................................        78 ..... 60 ...... .43“ ..
                                                                                                          Delta College 2 years later.                                                                                LIKE IT                       DOUBLE PRINT
                      Thursday..................................... 78 ..... 65 ........09“ .
                      Friday ......................................... 70 .....SO ...... 0 ..
                                                                                                          Over the past 10 years, he
                                                                                                          has work in dispatch, cot-
                                                                                                          rections and as a road patrol
                                                                                                                                              H        aire                                                  As for the mistake that
                                                                                                                                                                                                           surely wasn’t, it was in my            DOUBLE VALUE DAY!
                    ; Saturday.....................................     54 .:... 34 ...... 0 ..           officer.
                                                                                                                                                                                                           breakfast saucer of fruit.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Every Wednesday receive a second
                      SunCiay.............................................. 42 ...... 0 ..                                                                                                                 Dole has come out with can-
                                                                                                             Kern introduced 3 new                                                                         ned pineapple in a new form              set of prints absolutely FREE!
                      Monday ....................................... 78 .....60 ...... 3 4 ” ..

                                                                                                          deputies who joined the                                                                          - stewed. Two days earlier,
                           (Recorded at Cass City wastewater treatment plant.)                            department in March. They         It would be easier t hit
                                                                                                                                                                 o      Seemed like an eternity even       my wife had put some of it
                                                                                                          are Gary Miller, Gerald myself on the head than do            knowing that I could leave at      on my ice cream and I’d                             “Check Our New Lower

                    I Printing Service I
                         Whatever your printing needs, we senre them
                                                                                                          Dunham and Kevin Thane.        what Stefmia Follini did.
                                                                                                            Kern said the hirings re- That would be true even if
                                                                                                          sulted from vacancies left by my friends weren’t right
                                                                                                          his election as sheriff and 2 when they say my hard head
                                                                                                         resignations. Twenty appli- is my least vulnerable spot.
                                                                                                         cants underwent 3 1/2 hours        Stefania, who?, you say.
                                                                                                                                                                        any time.
                                                                                                                                                                             It’s obvious that a long
                                                                                                                                                                        stint buried underground by
                                                                                                                                                                        herself bothers this woman
                                                                                                                                                                        not at all. Yet, it’s dollars to
                                                                                                                                                                        donuts that she has inordi-
                                                                                                                                                                                                           told her I hated it. This is
                                                                                                                                                                                                           nothing personal against
                                                                                                                                                                                                           Dole. I like its pineapple in
                                                                                                                                                                                                           sweet lumps, but I’m sure
                                                                                                                                                                                                           other people like it in bland
                                                                                                                                                                                                           shreds. Aloha means hello
                                                                                                                                                                                                           and good-bye.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Photo Processing Prices.”

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        M e r good during Wadnesday business houts
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        NEXT DAY or FREE VOID on Double Prints.

                         right! Latest modern offset and letterpress                                     of testing for the positions, She’s a volunteer troglodyte     nate fears about something           When I said it must have
                         equipment to assure you of the best results                                     he said, adding the field was who spent 130 days in a          or other. Maybe snakes, or         been a mistake that my
                         in every way.                                                                   narroweddown to the top 10 sealed cave all alone. Her          mice or bats? Maybe riding         wife served me something
                                                                                                         candidates. Three were se- onlycontact w t theoutside
                                                                                                                                                       ih               an airplane? Whatever.             she knew I hated, I was
                                                                                                         lected following oral inter- was typing messages on a              Staying in the cave was        speaking pure TV cliche. I
                                     Things We Print                                                     views.                          computer.       Follini, 27,   especially striking for me         knew full well there had
                                                                                                           Miller, 2 1, is a 1986gradu- works as an interior decora-    because I don’t like to be in
                                Tickets                            Business Cards                        ate of Car0 High School. H   e tor in Ancona, Italy and the    small, enclosed places with
                                                                   Accounting Forms
                                                                                                         completed his certification purpose of her stint in the
                                                                                                         training at Kirtland Com- cave was to simulate the
                                                                                                                                                                        no way out if the door sud-
                                                                                                                                                                        denly jammed.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                         The best investment you
                                                                                                         munity College, Roscom- solitude of interplanetary
                                                                                                         mon, in 1988 and has space flight and other forms
                                                                                                                                                                             On the other hand none
                                                                                                                                                                        of the other common pho-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                -        can make in your future
                                                                                                         worked part-time for the of isolation.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                            is an education at
                                                                                                                                                                        bias mentioned here bother

                                                     Booklets                                            sheriff‘s department as well      She showed no ill effects

                                                                                                                                                                        at all and that’s the point of
                                                                                                         the Arbela Township and from her isolation with the            all this.
                            Cabs Citychronicle                                                           Car0 police departments.        exception of losing track of
                                                                                                            Dunham, 36, is a 1970 time. She figured that the
                                                                                                                                                                               There’s a tendency to
                                                                                                                                                                        laugh at irrational fears of
                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Great Lakes Jr College!
-   -   -       ’
                    -1                       Phone 872.2010
                                                                                                     i    Akron-Fairgrove High 130 days was only about 80
                                                                                                          School graduate. He previ- days. To me it would have
                                                                                                                                                                        others that all of us are guilty
                                                                                                                                                                        of. A mouse running across                  Great Lakes Jr. College offers associate degrees
                                                                                                                                                                        a room with the woman on
                                                                                                                                                                        the chair holding her skirt is                       and certificate programs in:
                                                                                                                                                                        a classic comic pose used so
                                                                                                                                                                        often that it has almost be-
                                                                                                                                                                        come trite.
                                           Do you want to know more about                                                                                                     Snakes are worse than
                                                                                                                                                                        mice, worse than anything
                                                                                                                                                                         for many. A picture of one                 Accounting
                           c                     ---                                                                                                                    will drive them up the wall.
                                                                                                                                                                        If not afflicted it’s hard t   o            D t Processing
                                                                                                       LASER                                                            understand why a picture
                                                                                                                                                                         would be devastating or
                                                                                                                                                                         have any effect at all. But
                                                                                                                                                                         they do.
                                                                                                                                                                           It’s human nature t laugh
                                                                                                                                                                                                o                ElectronidComputer
                                                                                                     SURGERY 3                                                           at the discomfort of others.
                                                                                                                                                                         The Three Stooges made a
                                                                                                                                                                         career out of poking the eyes
                                                                                                                                                                         and lambasting each other
                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Repair Tech.
                                                                                                                                                                         across the head.                           Paralegal                                                                    y,

                                                                                                             Find out about                                                 That never seemed funny
                                                                                                                                                                         to me, but slapstick never
                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Word Processing
                                                                                                                                                                         was my bag anyway w t the
                                                                                                         today’s latest treatment                                        exception of Abbott and
                                    L’                                                                                                                                   Costello’s classic, “Who’s            We understand financial aid and how important it
                                                                                                                                                                         on First.”
                                                                                                                                                                              When Follini emerged             can be to your plans to attend college. W can help!
                                                                                                                                                                         from the cave she said,
                                             *Hemorrhoids                                                          .Female problems                                      “wow, man” and added that
                                                                                                                                                                         she felt great.
                                                                                                                                                                           When I read about it I said
                                             OFoot problems                                                         Male problems                                        to myself, “wow”, and
                                                                                                                                                                         added a mental thank you
                                                                                                                                                                         that it was her not me.                J                                       Of BUSINESS
                                                                                                                                                                              What it boils down to is
                                                                       For More Information Call                                                                         different strokes for differ-                  Stop by our admissions office at 1231 Cleaver Rd.,
                                                                                                                                                                         ent folks. And be careful not
                                                 872-4611 or 872-3490                                                                                                    to laugh.
                                                                                                                                                                           You never know when you
                                                                                                                                                                         might be caught in a cave
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        just North of M-81,Caro or call

                                                                                                                                                                          with no way out, whatever                        Great Lakes Jr. College enrolls students without regard to age, sex or race.
                                                                                                                                                                          your cave might be,

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