christian by cuiliqing


									  DBT and Christianity

 Side by Side Parallels: Corollaries &
 Comparisons of Christian Values &
Concepts With Those of the DBT Skill
              Set Model
                      Term Dialectic
   Dialectical Synthesis                Ecclesiastes 7:16,17,18
   A dialectical philosophy holds      “Do not be over righteous, neither
    the view that reality is an           be over wise-…”
    inter-related system with           “Do not be over wicked, and do
    opposing internal forces and is       not be a fool-…”
    in a state of continual change.
                                        “It is good to grasp the one and
   (Thesis) generates and                  not let go of the other. The
    transformed into its opposite           man who fears God will avoid
    (Antithesis) and is preserved           all extremes.” (or, will follow
    and fulfilled by it, leading to a       them both)
    reconciliation of opposites
    (Synthesis) Hegelianism
                      States of Mind:
       Logic Mind, Emotion Mind, Wise Mind
                                               Logical Mind – Colossians 3:2 “Set your
   Logic Mind – the part of the brain     
                                               minds on things above, not on earthly
    that analyzes, looks at logic and          things.”
    reasonableness.                           Emotion Mind – Colossians 3:1b “…set your
                                               hearts on things above, where Christ is
   Emotion Mind – that part of the            seated at the right hand of God.”
                                              Example: Nehemiah 2:2 “so the King asked
    brain that creates feeling, sense of       me, “why does your face look so sad when
    creativity, freedom.                       you are not ill? This can be nothing but
                                               sadness of the heart.”

                                              Wise Mind – Proverbs 2:2 – “Turning your
   Wise Mind – the wise mind is the           ear to wisdom and applying your heart to
    balance between the emotional              understanding…” James 3:17 – “but the
                                               wisdom that comes from heaven is first of
    mind and the reasonable mind.              all pure…”
                                               Ecclesiastes 8:1b – “…wisdom brightens a
                                               man‟s face and changes its hard
                 Skills to get to the Wise Mind
                    The “What to Do” Skills
   Observe – to notice without                    Observe/Attend to – Proverbs
    getting caught up in the                        4:20 – “My son, pay attention to
    experience; notice without the                  what I say; listen closely to my
    reacting                                        words.”
   Describe – acknowledging a                     Describe – II Timothy 4:2 – “…be
    thought or feeling and putting                  prepared in season and out of
    words on experience                             season; correct, rebuke and
                                                    encourage - with great patience
                                                    and careful instruction.”
   Participate – enter into the                   Participate – Proverbs 8:12 –”I,
    experience, let yourself become                 wisdom, dwell together with
    one with the experience, do just                prudence; I posses knowledge
    what is needed in each situation;               and discretion.” Proverbs 2:10 –
    act intuitively. Actively PRACTICE:             “For wisdom will enter your heart,
    1. Change harmful situations                    and knowledge will be pleasant to
    2. Change harmful reactions to situations       your soul.”
    3. Accept self and situation as it is
                 Skills to get to the Wise Mind
                     The “How to Do” skills
   Non Judgmental Stance – see what is but           Non Judgmental – James 4:10,12b –
    don‟t evaluate, focus on „what‟ not whether        “Humble yourself before the Lord and He
    good or bad; should or should not be               will lift you up.” “…But you, who are you to
                                                       judge your neighbor?”
                                                        Matthew 7:1,2 – “Do not judge, or you too
                                                       will be judged…and with the measure you
                                                       use it will be measured to you.”

                                                      One-mindful/focus – Proverbs 4:20 – “My
   One-mindfully – being in the moment. Do            son, pay attention to what I say; listen
    one thing at a time, focus on what you are         closely to my words.”
    doing; let go of distractions.                    Isaiah 30:15b “…in repentance and rest is
                                                       your salvation, in quietness and trust is your

   Effectiveness – do what needs to be done in       Effective – Philippians 3:13b,14,15a –
    each situation, meet the needs of the              Forgetting what is behind and straining
    situation; keep your eye on objectives, play       toward what is ahead, I press on toward the
    by the rules.                                      goal to win the prize for which God has
                                                       called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of
                                                       us who are mature should take such a
           Interpersonal Effectiveness
    DEAR MAN – getting what you want/need
   DEAR MAN – to get want you                    Describe – Acts 12:17
    want/need you:                                 “Peter…described how the Lord had
                                                   brought him out of prison.”
   Describe – describe the current               Express – Psalm 40:1 “I waited
    situation                                      patiently…he heard my cry.”
   Express – express feelings and                Assert – Exodus 7:2 – “You are to say
    opinions of situation                          everything I command you…”
                                                  Reinforce – Philemon 1:14 “But I did
   Assert – ask clearly for what you want         not want to do anything without your
    or say no clearly                              consent, so that any favor you do will
   Reinforce – tell person positive effects       be spontaneous and not forced.”
    for him/her of you getting what you           Mindfully – Proverbs 4:20 – “…pay
                                                   attention t what I say; listen closely to
    want or if you say no. staying                 my words.”
    Mindful – focus on objectives, don‟t be       Appear Confident – Proverbs 4:25 –
    distracted Appear confident –                  “Let your eyes look straight ahead, fix
    confident voice, eye contact                   your gaze directly before you.”
   Negotiate – be willing to give to get         Negotiate – Gal. 6:2 “Bear ye one
                                                   another's burdens, and so fulfill the
                                                   law of Christ.”
       Interpersonal Effectiveness
       GIVE - Attending to Relationships
   GIVE – to attend to relationships      Gentle - Matthew 11:29 “Be
    you need to be Gentle; show             gentle and meek, move
    Interest; Validate and have an          without impulse.” Proverbs
    Easy Manner
                                            15:1 “A gentle answer turns
                                            away wrath.”
                                           Interested – Matthew 11:29b
                                            “…for I am gentle and humble
                                            in heart.”
                                           Validate – Matthew 6:26
                                            “Validate others as God does
                                           Easy Manner – Matthew 11:28
                                            “Cast your cares on Jesus – He
                                            gives rest.”
        Interpersonal Effectiveness
     FAST – attend to your self-respect
   FAST
    be Fair – to yourself and the            Fair – Colossians 4:1 „Treat others
    other person                              fairly.‟
                                              No Apologetic talk – Ephesians
    do not Apologize – no apology
                                              3:12 “In Him and through faith in
    for having an opinion, to                 Him we may approach God with
    disagree                                  freedom and confidence.”
    Stick to your Values and be              Stick to your values – Philippians
                                              3:3 “…we who worship by the
                                              Spirit of God, who glory in Christ
                                              Jesus, and who put no confidence
    Truthful – don‟t lie, act helpless,       in the flesh.”
     exaggerate, don‟t make                  Truthful – Romans 9:1 “I speak
     excuses                                  the truth in Christ –I am not lying,
                                              my conscience confirms it.”
Emotion Regulation – Reducing Vulnerability
            PLEASE MASTER
  PLEASE                                           Physical Illness – John 9:3, 6,7 “Neither this
  Treat Physical illness,                           man nor his parents sinned,...He spit on the
                                                    ground, made some mud and put it on the
                                                    man‟s eyes. “Go, wash in the Pool of
  balance your Eating,                             Balanced Eating – I Kings 19:4-8 “…Get up
                                                    and eat. He looked around…a cake of
                                                    bread and jar of water. He ate and drank…”
  Avoid mood-altering drugs,                       Avoid mood altering drugs – Proverbs 20:1
                                                    “Wine is a mocker and beer a brawler;
                                                    whoever is led astray by them is not wise.”
                                                   Balance Sleep – 1 Kings 19:5 “Then he lay
  balanced Sleep                                    down under the tree and fell asleep.”

  Exercise…this is part of being in                Exercise – 3 Jn. 1:2 “Beloved, I wish above
  health                                            all things that thou mayest prosper and be
                                                    in health, even as thy soul prospereth.”

  Build Mastery – do one thing daily to make       Build Mastery – Titus 1:8,9; „be hospitable,
      yourself feel competent and in control.       one who loves what is good, --self-
                                                    controlled, upright, holy and disciplined. 1
                                                    Corinthians 12:31 – “But eagerly desire the
                                                    greater gifts.”
                  EMOTION REGULATION
                 Build Positive Experiences
   Build Positive Experiences –           Positive Experiences: Short term:
                                            Matthew 12:34b – “…For out of the
    Short term: Do pleasant things          overflow of the heart the mouth
    that are possible now.                  speaks.”
                                           Proverbs 4:12 – “Above all else, guard
    Long Term: Make changes in your         your heart, for it is the wellspring of
    life so that positive events will       life.”
    occur more often. Build a „life        1 Peter 3:11 “He must turn from evil
                                            and do good; he must seek peace and
    worth living.‟                          pursue it.”
                                           Long term - 11 Peter 3:14 “so
                                            then…since you look forward…make
                                            every effort to be found spotless,
                                            blameless and at peace…”
                                           1 Peter 3:8,9 “Finally, …live in
                                            harmony with one another, be
                                            sympathetic…compassionate and
                                            humble…so that you may inherit a
                      EMOTION REGULATION
                     Opposite to Emotion Action
   Opposite to Emotion Action:                             Opposite to Emotion Action:
        Anger – Gently avoid person angry with and              Anger – 1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in
         imagine sympathy or empathy for person                   love. But perfect love drives out fear,
        Sadness – Get active, approach, don‟t avoid;             because fear has to do with punishment.
         do things that make you feel                            Sadness – Colossians 3:23 “Whatever you do,
         competent/confident                                      work at it with all your heart,…”
        Guilt/Shame – (Justified) Repair the                    Guilt/Shame – 1 Samuel 20:8, Psalm 25:11 –
         transgression, commit to not doing it again,             „Know your guilt as real or perhaps unreal,
         apologize, make things better for person and             confess to God and the other.
         let it go. (Unjustified) Do what makes you              Fear – 1 John 4:18, “There is no fear in love.
         feel guilty or ashamed over and over.                    But perfect love drives out fear, because fear
        Fear – Do what you are afraid of doing, over             has to do with punishment.”
         and over, approach, do things that give you a            Matthew 11:28,29,30 “Come to me,…you who
         sense of control or mastery. When                        are… burdened…I will give you rest. Take
         overwhelmed make list of small steps and do              my yoke…For my yoke is easy and my burden
         the First Thing.                                         is light.”
                                                                  Matthew 6:25 – “Therefore I tell you, do not
                                                                  worry about your life…is not life more
      Guidelines Practicing Accepting Reality
   Observing your breath – Practice deep        Observing Breath – Job 27:3 “Job 27:3
    breathing, measuring you steps with           All the while my breath is in me, and
    your breath, counting your breath,            the spirit of God is in my nostrils;”
    follow your breath while listening to
    music, breathing to quiet the mind and
   Half–Smiling – Half smile when you
    awake in morning, half-smile when            Half-Smile – Matt. 5:44 “But I say unto
    irritated, half-smile when listening to       you, Love your enemies, bless them
    music, when contemplating someone             that curse you, do good to them that
    you hate.                                     hate you, and pray for them which
   Awareness – (physical and/or mental)          despitefully use you, and persecute
    Be aware of your position of the body,        you; …even if it is hard to do.
    aware of connection to the universe,
    awareness of movement while serving
    coffee, awareness of what you are            Awareness – Colossians 3:1-3 “Since.
    doing                                         Then, you have been raised with
                                                  Christ, set your hearts on things
                                                  above, where Christ is seated at the
                                                  right hand of God. Set your minds on
                                                  things above, not on earthly things.
                                                  For you died, and your “
                      DISTRESS TOLERANCE
                  Principles of Accepting Reality
   Radical Acceptance (Reality Acceptance) – Accept        Reality Acceptance – Romans 8:18 – “I
    the pain, not approval; from deep within                 consider that our present sufferings are not
    acknowledging pain, acceptance is the only way out       worth comparing with the glory that will be
    of hell
                                                             revealed in us.”
                                                            Matthew,John, „Jesus is the Bread of Life,
                                                             Counselor, Redeemer,

   Turning the Mind – Commitment to accept does not        Turning the Mind – Romans 7:18 – “I know that
    equal acceptance, it turns your path, putting your       nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful
    mind towards acceptance and away from rejecting          nature. For I have desire to do what is good, but I
    reality.                                                 cannot carry it out.” (Having the mind of Christ)

   Willingness – is allowing your awareness to             Willingness – Romans 8:10 – “But if Christ is in you,
    connection to the universe, doing what is needed.        your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is
                                                             alive because of righteousness.”
   (over) Willfulness – is sitting on your hands when
    action needed, is giving up, trying to FIX each
    situation, refusing to tolerate the moment.             (over) Willfulness – Ecclesiastes 7:20 – “There is
                                                             not a righteous man on earth who does what is
                                                             right and never sins.”
                                                            Romans 7:21 – “So I find this law at work: When I
                                                             want to do good, evil is right there with me.”
                        DISTRESS TOLERANCE
                        Wise Mind DISTRACTS
   Activities – Engage in exercise or hobbies;        Activities – Luke 24:14 “‟They were talking
    walking, work, sports, fishing, gardening,          with each other about everything that had
    visit a friend, etc.                                happened.”
   Contribute – Contribute to someone; make
    something nice for someone, do a                   Contribute – Romans 15:26 – „Give of your
    thoughtful thing.                                   time, money and interest.‟
   Comparisons – Compare yourself to people
    coping in the same way as you or in a less         Comparisons – Matthew 11:16 „Compare self
    well off position. Compare to less fortunate.       to similar Biblical stories.‟
   Emotions – Do an event that creates in you
    a different emotion, ie. Real old letters,
    listen to emotional music, religious music,        Emotions – Mark 6:6 „Other‟s disbelief not a
    read funny greeting cards, etc.                     hindrance
   Pushing Away – Leave the situation, leave
    mentally; put it somewhere; box it.                Pushing Away – Proverbs 27:12 „Shield and
   Thoughts – Count to 10, count colors in a           protect yourself.‟
    painting, count anything, work puzzles.            Thoughts – Psalm 18:6 „change thoughts,
   Sensations – Hold ice, wash face with cold          turn to God
    cloth, hot shower, rubber band on wrist.           Sensations – Luke 22:51 „Jesus touches to
                                                        heal – touch is healing.‟
                      DISTRESS TOLERANCE
                          Self - Soothe
   Vision – Look at nature, look at the          Vision – Matthew 6:26 „Look at the
    stars at night, buy a beautiful flower         birds for self-comfort.‟
   Hearing – Listen to beautiful or              Hearing – Genesis 3:8 „Adam and Eve
    soothing music; pay attention to               hearing the sounds of God.‟
    sounds of nature. Listen to human
    voices                                        Smell - Matthew 27:7 – „Fragrant oil
   Smell – Use your favorite                      poured out.‟
    perfume/lotion; light a scented candle,
    put potpourri in a bowl
                                                  Taste – Matthew 26:26,27 „taste fully,
   Taste – Have a favorite drink, ie tea or       God‟s food.‟
    hot chocolate; coffee, ice cream, chew
    gum, eat mindfully.
   Touch–Take a bubble bath, lotion on           Touch – Matthew 13:5 „Jesus washes
    body, brush hair, cold compress on             His disciples' feet.‟
    face. Experience touching.
    Pros & Cons – Focus on long term goals

   Pros – Make a list of           Pros – Hebrews 2:18
                                     “Because he himself suffered
    reasons to tolerate the          when he was tempted, He is
    stress and reasons for not       able to help those who are
    tolerating stress.               being tempted.”

                                    Cons – Proverbs 13:18, James
   Cons – Make a list of            1:2-4 “…whenever you face
    consequences to                  trials of many kinds, because
                                     you know that the testing of
    tolerating stress and list       your faith develops
    of consequences for not          perseverance….you may be
    tolerating stress.               mature and complete,…”
                        DISTRESS TOLERANCE
                        IMPROVE the Moment
   Imagery – Imagine relaxing scenes, a secret        Imagery – Acts 2:17 “In the last days,…I
    room within yourself. Let yourself go into          will pour out my Spirit…young men will see
    that which is calming and beautiful                 visions...old men will dream dreams.”
   Meaning – find or create purpose or value in       Meaning – Romans 8:28 “And we know that
    pain, make lemonade out of lemons                   in all things God works for…those who love
   Prayer – Open your heart to a supreme               him…”
    being, strength to bear the pain. Turn things      Prayer – Matthew 26:36 “…sit here while I
    over to God.                                        go over there to pray.”
   Relaxation – Muscle relaxing, hot bath, hot        Relaxation – John 2:2 “and Jesus and his
    milk, massage neck or body, breath deeply,          disciples had also been invited to the
    half-smile.                                         wedding.”
   One thing in the moment – focus entire             One thing in the moment – John 6:6 “He
    attention on the moment your are in, put            asked this only to test him, for He already
    your mind there – the physical sensations           had in mind what He was going to do.”
    that accompany a task, ie dishes, cleaning;
    be aware of your body movements.                   Vacation – John 6:3 “Then Jesus went up
   Vacation – Get in bed, take a specific time         on a mountainside and sat down…”
    to „unplug‟ your stresses. Unplug your             Encouragement – Hebrews 10:25 “…but let
    phone, sit in the park.                             us encourage one another-and all the
   Encourage – Cheerlead yourself, Repeat, “I          more…”
    can stand it,” I will make it.”

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