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					                                                                         SABRINA TEE 0144
                                                                                   Page 1




                SABRINA, THE TEENAGE WITCH
                                    EPS. 0144
                            “Total Sabrina Live”


                 FADE IN:


                 INT. SPELLMAN KITCHEN


                 PREVIOUSLY ON:


HARVEY/ JOSH/    Goodbye, Sabrina.
LUKE:

SABRINA:         Goodbye?
                                                                        (SABRINA FREEZES
                                                                        AND SHATTERS
                                                                        INTO PIECES)


                                                                        (CUT TO PRESENT)


SALEM:           Okay, I don’t know what happened here, but a
                 hundred bucks says I get blamed for it.
HARVEY:          Sabrina, before I go, I just wanted to say…Salem?
SALEM:           Where is my bookie when I need him?
HARVEY:          Wait a minute. This looks like Sabrina’s mouth.
                 These are her eyes, and this looks like her…sorry,
                 Sabrina.
SALEM:           Well, don’t just stand there, lug nut, sweep her up.
                                                                        (FX: SABRINA IS
                                                                        MAGICALLY
                                                                        RESTORED TO
                                                                        HERSELF)
SABRINA:         Whoa.
                                                                           SABRINA TEE 0144
                                                                                     Page 2



HARVEY:        Sabrina, are you okay?
SABRINA:       Yeah, I’m fine, except that you were standing on my
               tongue. How did I get put back together?
YOUNG GIRLS    (VOICE OVER) I did it.
VOICE:

SABRINA:       Aunt Zelda? You gave up your adult years for me?
               That is so generous and a very crafty way to get rid
               of wrinkles.
YOUNG ZELDA:   I know it might be a little strange having an eight year
               old to look after you.
SABRINA:       Aunt Zelda, you don’t have to look after me anymore.
               You and Aunt Hilda have taught me everything I
               need to know. Now I need to prove that I can get by
               without relying on you guys. I’m gonna be
               graduating soon. I’m gonna be looking for a new job
               as a reporter. So, you don’t have to take care of
               anyone any more.


                                                                          (CUT TO)


                                                                          (OPENING CREDITS
                                                                          OVER THEME SONG/
                                                                          ACTION UP AND
                                                                          OUT)


               MUSIC IN:


               INT. SPELLMAN LIVING ROOM


                                                                          (MORE CREDITS
                                                                          OVER ACTION)
ROXIE:         We’ve got to do something. Three months living in
               this house and we still run out of hot water.
MORGAN:        I don’t know what you are talking about. I take a two-
               hour shower every morning and it never runs out.
                                                                      SABRINA TEE 0144
                                                                                Page 3



SABRINA:   Is that the mail? Can I have it please?
MORGAN:    Excuse me. You are not the only “occupant” here.
SABRINA:   Oh, I can’t believe I still haven’t gotten a response to
           my resume.
ROXIE:     Sabrina, you gotta use connections. I don’t know
           why you don’t take me up on my offer. I mean, my
           friend does write for The Village Voice.
SABRINA:   He writes letters to the editor. He’s a crackpot.
ROXIE:     A published crackpot.
MORGAN:    Ohmigod, I won! I won the MTV contest.
ROXIE:     What contest?
MORGAN:    It’s some writing contest where you, oh, it’s MTV,
           who cares?
SABRINA:   Wow.
MORGAN:    (READING) “Based on the essay that you submitted,
           you have been selected to interview a rock band for
           Scorch magazine.” Oh, maybe it’ll be the Rolling
           Stones. My Nana will be so tickled.
ROXIE:     Great. You bust your butt trying to get a reporting
           job, she gets one by submitting a three-by-five card
           listing her turn-ons.
SABRINA:   Hey, that’s the way it goes. I’m happy for her.
MORGAN:    It says I’m supposed to go to Scorch magazine for
           the details.
ROXIE:     I’m out of it. Scorch? What’s that? Some kind of
           trade publication for pyromaniacs?
MORGAN:    It’s only like the coolest magazine ever. If it weren’t
           for them, I wouldn’t know what music I like. Sabrina,
           get dressed.
SABRINA:   Why?
MORGAN:    Well, you have to come with me. I mean, you can do
           all that face-to-face stuff. What I do is write.
SABRINA:   And what I’m thinking of doing is so wrong.
                                                                        SABRINA TEE 0144
                                                                                  Page 4



                                                                       (MUSICAL BRIDGE)


           INT. MAGAZINE OFFICES


MORGAN:    Wow. Everybody here is so young. And they all look
           so, what’s the word?
SABRINA:   Tragically hip?
MORGAN:    Ah, that’s two words.
SABRINA:   Um, excuse me. My friend is here to find out about
           some contest she won. She’s supposed to talk to a
           Senior Editor, Annie Martos?
ANNIE:     Yeah, that’s me. And why are you speaking for her?
MORGAN:    Where’s the little girl’s room? I kind of have to tinkle.
ANNIE:     I get it. Come with me. We’ll go over the details.
COLE:      You here for the contest?
SABRINA:   Oh, no, my friend won the contest. I’m just along for
           moral support. Period. Close quote.
COLE:      She punctuates when she talks.
SABRINA:   No, I know this is none of my business, but the
           quotes go on the outside of the period.
JAMES:     Damn, that’s gusty. Exclamation point.
SABRINA:   Sorry. Force of habit. I’m a writer, too. Well, not this
           kind of stuff. Serious journalism.
COLE:      Oh, and ah, this isn’t serous journalism?
LEONARD:   Kandinsky Vodka just gave us four free cases, it’s
           gonna be a early day, people.
                                                                       (CHEERING/
                                                                       APPLAUSE)
LEONARD:   Our advertisers love to give me the freebies. Hi, I’m
           Leonard. Want a case of vodka?
SABRINA:   No, thanks.
LEONARD:   No problem. Want to go out for eggs?
COLE:      Len.
LEONARD:   Too much. I know.
                                                                       SABRINA TEE 0144
                                                                                 Page 5



MORGAN:    Sabrina, I get to go New York and interview that
           band, Course of Nature, and write a twelve hundred-
           word article about it.
SABRINA:   You’re kidding? Do you even know twelve hundred
           words?
MORGAN:    Plus, I get to bring two friends.
COLE:      Well, I doubt this friend will want to go. It doesn’t
           sound like serious journalism.
MORGAN:    Would you pass up a trip to MTV?
SABRINA:   No, no. I’ll go. But only because I have a very solid
           connection at the Village Voice.


                                                                      (CUT TO)


           INT. SPELLMAN LIVING ROOM


SABRINA:   (INTO PHONE) I’m just following up on a reporter
           job? Yeah, but you got my resume, right? Well,
           what does it matter if I don’t know how to surf? I’m a
           writer, not a surfer. Fine.
                                                                      (HANGS UP)
SABRINA:   Well, scratch off True Surfer Stories Monthly.
SALEM:     Wow, you’ve been working the phones non-stop for
           the past twenty-four hours.
SABRINA:   I’ve gotta get a job as a reporter, even if I have to go
           as far as New York.
SALEM:     Why do you have to go to New York? You’ve
           already got an offer from the Boston Globe.
SABRINA:   Yeah, three days a week as an assistant associate to
           the associate assistant. I think I’m a little beyond
           that.
SALEM:     Well, you better get something, or I won’t be the only
           one in this house that’s eating cat food.
                                                                      (SHE DIALS PHONE)
                                                                         SABRINA TEE 0144
                                                                                   Page 6



                                                                        (CUT TO)


               INT. HERALD EXAMINER OFFICE


MR. FLEMING:   Herald Examiner, Fleming speaking.


                                                                        (INTERCUT PHONE
                                                                        CONVERSATION
                                                                        BETWEEN SABRINA
                                                                        LIVING ROOM AND
                                                                        HERALD EXAMINER
                                                                        OFFICE)


SABRINA:       Hi, my name is Sabrina Spellman. I was calling to
               follow up about my resume…
MR. FLEMING:   Yeah, yeah. It’s either in a file drawer or here in a
               pile. I’ll get to it when I get to it.
SABRINA:       But…
                                                                        (SFX: PHONE
                                                                        RINGS)
MR. FLEMING:   Ah, hold on. (PICKS UP PHONE) Hello…


                                                                        (CUT TO)


               INT. SPELLMAN LIVING ROOM


                                                                        (MUSIC IN)
SABRINA:       Okay, well, I can either sit here on hold all day or I
               can make something happen.
                                                                        (FX: SABRINA
                                                                        DISAPPEARS)


                                                                        (CUT TO)
                                                                          SABRINA TEE 0144
                                                                                    Page 7



               INT. HERALD EXAMINER OFFICE


MR. FLEMING:   (INTO PHONE) You sent me a fax? Ah, I don’t
               know, I can’t find anything around here.
                                                                         (FX: SABRINA’S
                                                                         FACE IS IN PLACE
                                                                         ON BABY’S FACE ON
                                                                         PICTURE ON
                                                                         FLEMING’S DESK)
SABRINA:       Get my resume out of the file, and put it right on top
               of the pile.
                                                                         (SFX: MAGICAL
                                                                         PING – RESUME
                                                                         RISES FROM
                                                                         FOLDER AND
                                                                         FLOATS TO TOP OF
                                                                         PILE)
MR. FLEMING:   I don’t know where it is. I would just fax me another
               one.      Ah, better yet, just bring it over. Yeah, ah,
               who am I talking to again? Oh, yeah, ah… (FINDS
               RESUME) Ah, how about that? Right on top. Well, I
               can squeeze one more in tomorrow. All right? One
               o’clock.


                                                                         (MUSICAL BRIDGE)


               INT. LIMO


MORGAN:        It’s so exciting. (O.S.) Hello, New York.
ROXIE:         Be careful, Morgan. New Yorkers love a moving
               target.
                                                                         (MORGAN/ROXIE
                                                                         STANDING UP
                                                                         LOOKING OUT OF
                                                                         SUNROOF)
                                                                      SABRINA TEE 0144
                                                                                Page 8



SALEM:     Hmm, I would have come out earlier, but I was stuck
           to a jawbreaker.
SABRINA:   Remember our deal? I bring you to New York, you
           don’t whine, complain or talk in front of people.
SALEM:     Don’t worry. While you gals are on your little MTV
           junket, I’m gonna take in the sights.
SABRINA:   I’m not going to MTV. I have that interview at the
           Herald Examiner. I really need this job and I’m not
           leaving until they give it to me.
SALEM:     Hmm. The new Sabrina is feisty. Me likey.
ROXIE:     It’s just part of a hot dog. It’s their way of saying
           welcome.
MORGAN:    Well, they can throw whatever they want. They can’t
           stop me from going on .TV.
ROXIE:     Me, neither. I can’t wait to go on TRL.
SABRINA:   You? You don’t seem like a Total Request Live kind
           of person.
ROXIE:     Of course not, but I’ll blend in with all the desperate,
           squealing teeny-boppers, cozy up to Carson Daly,
           and as soon as I’m on camera, demand that people
           stop eating meat.
SABRINA:   I’m not sure TRL is a place for a protest. I mean, it’s
           not like it’s the Oscars. Oh, sir, can you pull over
           here? All right, I’ll meet you guys later.
MORGAN:    Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You have to help me with the
           interview.
SABRINA:   Morgan, my Herald Examiner meeting is in forty-
           seven minutes. I have to prepare to be spontaneous.
           You’ll be fine.
MORGAN:    I don’t know how to do an interview. I can’t write I
           stole a writing sample of yours for the contest.
ROXIE:     You did what? Morgan, what a lousy thing to do.
           You totally used Sabrina.
SABRINA:   My writing sample won? Wow.
MORGAN:    To MTV! And step on it.
                                                                          SABRINA TEE 0144
                                                                                    Page 9



                                                                         (SCREECHING TIRES
                                                                         – SALEM FLIES OUT
                                                                         THE DOOR)


                                                                         (MUSICAL BRIDGE)


                  INT. MTV STUDIOS HALLWAY


SECURITY GUARD:   You won the contest, you meet the band. You two
                  meet the street.
MORGAN:           But, they, they have to go in.
SABRINA:          Yeah, we’re interpreters. Ah, one of the band
                  members is French and the other is German. N’est
                  pas, men kampf?
SECURITY GUARD:   Nice try. You’ll have to wait in the lobby.
                                                                         (SFX: MAGICAL
                                                                         PING)
                                                                         (FX: GUARD’S
                                                                         TEETH FALL OUT)
SECURITY GUARD:   My tooth!
SABRINA:          Well, ah, at least now he has something he wants for
                  Christmas.


                                                                         (CUT TO)


                  INT. COURSE OF NATURE DRESSING ROOM


                                                                         (DOOR OPENS)
                                                                         (SFX: GUITAR RIFF)
MORGAN:           Oh, hi, hi, we’re here from…
MARK:             Yeah, can you give us just a sec? We’ve gotta finish
                  working out this one part.
                                                                    SABRINA TEE 0144
                                                                             Page 10



                                                                   (MUSIC OVER
                                                                   MONTAGE OF
                                                                   SCENES IN NEW
                                                                   YORK CITY)


                                                                   (MUSIC OUT)


                                                                   (CUT TO)


           INT. COURSE OF NATURE DRESSING ROOM


                                                                   (APPLAUSE)
MORGAN:    Do you guys know, “Oops, I did it again?”
SABRINA:   Ah, why don’t you just jump in with the interview
           questions?
MORGAN:    I just did.
SABRINA:   Ask him, ah, what his influences are.
MORGAN:    So, ah, who influenced you to cut your hair so short?
SABRINA:   Oh, ah, what distinguishes Course of Nature from
           other bands?
MARK:      Well, for one thing, we’re not conventional.
MORGAN:    (WRITING) Don’t play conventions.
MARK:      No, I mean, we don’t do the usual rock band thing.
           Um, partying all night, getting wasted. I don’t even
           drink.
SABRINA:   Well, now with all those piercings, you’d leak.
ROXIE:     I think she’s gonna be just fine.
MORGAN:    Don’t leave.
SABRINA:   Morgan, I have to get to my interview at the Herald
           Examiner before my dream job gets taken by
           somebody else. Just ask whatever comes into your
           head.
ROXIE:     This could take awhile.
MORGAN:    Oh, I’ve got one. Who here doesn’t have a
           girlfriend?
                                                                          SABRINA TEE 0144
                                                                                   Page 11




                                                                         (CUT TO)


               INT. TRL SET


                                                                         (CHEERING)
CARSON DALY:   (VOICE OVER) All right, there you have your little
               favorite (O.S.) Canadian Avril Lavigne and Skater
               Boy at number three. Avril Lavigne no stranger to
               the top ten…
                                                                         (CONTINUES
                                                                         TALKING, B.G.)
SABRINA:       (OVERLAPPING) Roxie, I’m gonna be late for my
               interview.
ROXIE:         But I need your help and so do a million cows. Now,
               when we get next to Carson, I’ll show my shirt and
               then you show yours.
                                                                         (ROXIE’S SHIRT
                                                                         READS “MEAT”/
                                                                         SABRINA SHIRT
                                                                         READS “KILLS”
SABRINA:       Oh, can’t I just wear one that says, “I’m with stupid?”
CARSON DALY:   Anybody want to give a shout out? Anybody? Back
               here? How about you, right over here? Who do you
               want to give a shout out to?
ROXIE:         Carson Daley.
CARSON DALY:   That’s me. But who do you want to give…what’s this
               all about? It says “Meat.” That’s no way to refer
               yourself.
SABRINA:       Oh, no, no, no. Um, she, she has a message she
               wants to get out. Right, Roxie?
CARSON DALY:   Okay, what is that?
ROXIE:         Carson Daly.
SABRINA:       The message?
                                                                          SABRINA TEE 0144
                                                                                   Page 12



CARSON DALY:   (READING SHIRTS) What’s this say? “Kills meat.”
               You guys are a member of the Ted Nugent fan club?
               Anything? Okay, anybody want to give a shout out
               that’s not on medication? How about you over here?
SABRINA:       Oh, Roxie, I’m sorry the message got all messed up.
ROXIE:         I can’t believe how hot he is and how great it is to be
               on TRL! Wow!
SABRINA:       Way to fight the power, Roxie. Oh, no, my interview.


                                                                         (CUT TO)


               INT. NEW YORK ALLEY


SALEM:         I must have taken a wrong turn. Whoa, if this is Hell’s
               Kitchen, I’d hate to see the bathroom. Okay, that is
               one big rat. Hey, hi, ah, what’s up, bro? How about
               those teeth. A little bleach’ll help that.
                                                                         (RAT ATTACKS
                                                                         SALEM)


                                                                         (CUT TO)


               INT. NEW YORK HERALD EXAMINER OFFICE


                                                                         (DOOR OPENS/
                                                                         CLOSES)
SABRINA:       Sorry I’m late.
MR. FLEMING:   And you are?
SABRINA:       And way out of shape. I’m Sabrina Spellman, you’re
               one o’clock-ish.
MR. FLEMING:   Oh, well, the important thing is that you’re here. I
               need someone right away.
SABRINA:       Really? Great.
MR. FLEMING:   All right. Details. I like my coffee black, my pencils
               sharp, and someone’s who not afraid to ask
               questions.
                                                                            SABRINA TEE 0144
                                                                                     Page 13



SABRINA:       Well, I have a question. Why would I need to know
               how you like your coffee?
MR. FLEMING:   Well, that’s what any good secretary needs to know.
SABRINA:       Secretary? Yeah, well, that’s not exactly my dream
               job, but I guess it’s a start.
MR. FLEMING:   Absolutely. Well, if you play your cards right, do a
               good job, ten to fifteen years you work your way up
               to executive secretary. Is there a problem?
SABRINA:       Yeah, a big one. For starters, I don’t have any
               secretarial skills, and when I make coffee, it comes
               out tasting like witches’ brew, literally.
MR. FLEMING:   Why are you here?
SABRINA:       For a job as a reporter.
MR. FLEMING:   No, no, no. Your resume was in the secretary pile.
SABRINA:       Look, I came all the way here from Boston. Could
               you at least read my writing sample? This is an
               article I wrote for the Boston Citizen. I blew the lid off
               a phony baked bean scandal.
MR. FLEMING:   The lead’s quite catchy, but…
SABRINA:       But what?
MR. FLEMING:   Well, a reporter at The Herald Examiner needs to be
               a little more seasoned. Why don’t we agree to talk
               when you’ve had a little more writing experience and
               matured a little.
SABRINA:       Oh, I am very mature. I was just at MTV and
               between you and me, all that screaming gave me a
               headache.     Kids, huh?
MR. FLEMING:   You were at MTV?
SABRINA:       Yeah, one of my friends was hanging out with rock
               band and the other one needed me there because
               she’s on TRL..
MR. FLEMING:   TRL? My God, it seems like every day they’re into
               some new drug.
SABRINA:       No, no, no. TRL is a…
                                                                           SABRINA TEE 0144
                                                                                    Page 14



MR. FLEMING:   Look, you’re obviously a really fine writer, and ah,
               you have a lot of youthful exuberance, so, why don’t
               we agree to talk when that wears off?


                                                                          (MUSIC UP AND
                                                                          OUT)


               FADE IN:


               INT. SPELLMAN KITCHEN


SABRINA:       Okay, just a little setback. No biggie. I mean, I said I
               could get along on my own and I can. Right, Salem?
SALEM:         What do I care? I got beat up by a rat. He
               humiliated me.
SABRINA:       I thought you said you gave him a lickin’?
SALEM:         I did, but not in a macho way.
SABRINA:       I’m sorry, Salem, I have bigger problems. Just butch
               it up.
SALEM:         Hmm. Butch it up. That’s an idea. Work out a little.
               Ha ha. One, ah…


                                                                          (CUT TO)


               INT. SPELLMAN LIVING ROOM


MORGAN:        Sabrina, can you help me? I don’t know what to
               write about Course of Nature.
SABRINA:       Well, just use your notes. (READING) “Lead singer,
               dreamy. Guitarist, married. Drummer, ignored me.
               Gay?” What I’m saying is, be resourceful. There’s
               all kinds of information on the internet, in their liner
               notes, or you can contact their fan club.
MORGAN:        Boy, that sounds like a lot of work.
ROXIE:         Hey, Sabrina, why don’t you write the article?
                                                                      SABRINA TEE 0144
                                                                               Page 15



SABRINA:   Fine. I’ll write it, but I’m taking the credit. No more
           fronting for you.
MORGAN:    I would never take credit for something that you
           wrote. Twice in one week.


                                                                     (MUSICAL BRIDGE)


           INT. MAGAZINE OFFICES


COLE:      So, how’d it go in New York? You know, with that
           connection of yours.
SABRINA:   Oh, oh, I decided that newspaper job just wasn’t for
           me.
COLE:      Oh, good choice. I mean, you’d have to move there.
           Plus, you’d need a bicycle and a good throwing arm.
ANNIE:     It’s very well written.
MORGAN:    Thank you. It came very easily. Sometimes when
           the muse strikes… okay she wrote it. But, I tried to
           write about the band, but then I ran out of words for
           cute and…
ANNIE:     I absolutely do not care.
SABRINA:   Well, I’m glad you like it. Now, we haven’t discussed
           money. I don’t know what the going rate is these
           days, but, um, how does ten cents a word sound?
ANNIE:     Well, I’ll give you a quarter just to stop talking.
SABRINA:   How about that? I already got a raise.
ANNIE:     This article was for a contest. We don’t pay for it.
           And in this case, we don’t publish it. You might want
           to send this to your mother. She can tack it up on
           her fridge.
SABRINA:   But, I thought you said you liked it?
ANNIE:     I said it was very well written. Very professional.
           Very well researched. Very bland.
SABRINA:   Are you calling my writing bland?
                                                                          SABRINA TEE 0144
                                                                                   Page 16



ANNIE:         No, I think I’m calling the author bland. Anything
               printed in Scorch magazine represents a certain
               point of view. I mean, look around. These people
               have life experience. Cole was in a rock band that
               used to open for Green Day. James has traveled to
               every continent. Leonard is the publisher’s cousin,
               but the point is, when I look at you, I’m guessing your
               life comes down to, oh, a junior high certificate for
               perfect attendance, and maybe once you smoked a
               ham.
LEONARD:       This may come at a bad time, but, ah, we I still have
               some of that, ah, vodka.
COLE/JAMES:    Len.
LEONARD:       Worth a shot.
SABRINA:       Oh.


                                                                         (CUT TO)


               INT. SPELLMAN LIVING ROOM


SABRINA:       Everyone keeps telling me I need more experience.
               At this rate I’ll never find a job.
ROXIE:         What happened to the part time job you were offered
               at the Boston Globe?
SABRINA:       The job’s taken. By my journalism professor.
MORGAN:        Oh, Sabrina, you really blew it.
ROXIE:         Honey, put this behind you. You’ve been going on
               and on about it. You’ve got to stop obsessing. Oh
               my god, TRL is on. Out of my way.
CARSON DALY:   (ON TV) All right, there you have it. Everybody loves
               Eminem.
                                                                         (CARSON DALY
                                                                         CONTINUES
                                                                         TALKING, B.G.)
                                                                        SABRINA TEE 0144
                                                                                 Page 17



ROXIE:         Yeah, do it Carson! Okay, I’m getting carried away.
               Dial it down. Cold turkey. Cold turkey.
SABRINA:       Yeah, talk about obsessed.
ROXIE:         No, I’m going into the kitchen to make a sandwich.
               Don’t turn that off.
CARSON DALY:   (ON TV) At number seven, it’s your favorite
               Australian….
                                                                       (CONTINUES
                                                                       TALKING, B.G.)
SALEM:         Move, you’re blocking the view.
CARSON DALY:   (VOICE OVER) this is Kylie Minogue is gonna….
                                                                       (CONTINUES, B.G.)
SABRINA:       Wow, someone got into the kibbles and steroids.
SALEM:         Next time you’re going to the Big Apple, take me with
               you. I want t deliver a little message to my friend,
               Ratso.
SABRINA:       Yeah, I got a message I want to deliver, too.
CARSON DALY:   (VOICE OVER) okay, anyway, lets get ready to our
               next guest, Course of Nature. Before we…
SABRINA:       Yeah, I’ve got a message I want to deliver, too.
               Sorry, Roxie. Cable’s out.
                                                                       (SFX: SABRINA AND
                                                                       SALEM DISAPPEAR)




                                                                       (CUT TO)


               INT. MTV STUDIO HALLWAY


                                                                       (FX: SABRINA AND
                                                                       SALEM APPEAR)
SABRINA:       Okay, if you’re gonna do anything, do it fast. We
               gotta get back before Roxie and Morgan know we’re
               gone.
SALEM:         Don’t worry. It’ll take a second for me to take that
               rodent into rat-a-touie.
                                                                          SABRINA TEE 0144
                                                                                   Page 18




                                                                         (CUT TO)


               INT. TRL SET


                                                                         (DOOR OPENS)
                                                                         (APPLAUSE/
                                                                         CHEERING)
CARSON DALY:   All right, guys, before we get to our next video, I’m
               gonna give this young man an opportunity to say
               something to America. He wants… Ah, or her.
               Survival of the fittest on TRL today. Ah, what’s your
               request?
SABRINA:       I want a job.
CARSON DALY:   Okay, what is that, the new O-town single?
SABRINA:       No, no, no. I’m talking about me. I know this sounds
               crazy. My name is Sabrina Spellman, I’m a journalist
               and I can’t find a job. I mean, I’ve gotten a few job
               offers but you know, I said no to them. Ah, long story
               store, I’m an idiot.
CARSON DALY:   Okay, we’ll there’s definitely gonna be a job in
               security opening up here. Maybe you would have
               that one. Okay? Good luck to ya. All right, we gotta
               get over here. How about you?
SABRINA:       Does security ever lead to reporting on the air?


                                                                         (CUT TO)


               INT. NEW YORK CITY ALLEY


SALEM:         All right, cheese-breathe. It’s you and me, right here,
               right now, Oh, so you brought some of your friends
               from the sewer, huh? Ah, oh please. Not the face.


                                                                         (CUT TO)
                                                                           SABRINA TEE 0144
                                                                                    Page 19



               INT. TRL SET


                                                                          (APPLAUSE/
                                                                          CHEERING)
CARSON DALY:   Ah, welcome back, New York City. Times Square
               and Carson Daly. TRL, we’re…
SABRINA:       I’m sorry, Carson, one last thing. I just want to say to
               all you guys out there, make sure you know a good
               opportunity when you see it. Okay, people aren’t just
               gonna hand you your dream job on a silver platter.
               Well, in fact, if they give you a job carrying a silver
               platter, take it. What I’m saying is, whether it’s an
               established publication like the New York Herald
               Examiner, or a pretentious upstart zine like Scorch,
               don’t be too proud to start at the bottom.
CARSON DALY:   Anything else?
SABRINA:       Ah, meat kills. Woo-hoo!
CARSON DALY:   All right, guys. Sorry. Sorry about that everybody.
                                                                          (CHEERING)
CARSON DALY:   All right…


                                                                          (CUT TO)


               INT. MAGAZINE OFFICES


SABRINA:       Okay, if you called me down here to tell me I’ll never
               work in this business again, I figured out that for
               myself and that’s why I’m done with this whole stupid
               job search, and who knows, maybe even journalism
               all together. And just because I don’t have green hair
               and little metal things sticking out of my face, doesn’t
               mean I me I’m not a good writer. Period. End of
               sentence.
ANNIE:         Fine. I’ll tell Jonathan you’re turning down the job.
SABRINA:       Job?
                                                                       SABRINA TEE 0144
                                                                                Page 20



ANNIE:     I called you down here because I’m offering you a
           position. Actually, our publisher is. The only thing
           I’d offer you is a new wardrobe.
SABRINA:   That’s insane. Why would the publisher offer me a
           job?
ANNIE:     That was my question exactly except for the
           profanity.
JAMES:     Apparently Jonathan caught you on TRL. Liked what
           he saw. Of course, he hired me because he said I
           remind him of Diana Ross, so…
COLE:      Hey, she’s not interested in this gig. I mean, it’s not
           serious journalism, right?
SABRINA:   He saw me on TV. Do you happen to know if he
           taped it, because I forgot.
ANNIE:     I’ll tell him you can’t do it. Okay what’s new on the
           club scene?
SABRINA:   Excuse me, I can do it.
ANNIE:     Yeah, I get it, Bo-Peep. The job’s not right for you.
SABRINA:   Okay, my name’s not Bo-Peep, and job may not be
           right for me, but I am right for the job. I just want to
           make that fine and important distinction. Can do it.
           Don’t want to.
ANNIE:     So you’ll take it?
SABRINA:   Yes, please when do I start?


                                                                      (MUSIC UP AND
                                                                      OUT)


           FADE IN:


           INT. SPELLMAN KITCHEN


ROXIE:     Okay, smoothies all around.
MORGAN:    It’s time for a toast to Sabrina’s new job.
ROXIE:     Morgan, did you leave your laundry on the table.
                                                                   SABRINA TEE 0144
                                                                            Page 21



SABRINA:               No, that’s Salem. He got into the gauze.
SALEM:                 Ow!
MORGAN:                Did you hear that?
SALEM:                 Me-ow.


                                                                  (MUSIC OVER
                                                                  CLOSING CREDITS
                                                                  UP AND OUT)


                                        * * * THE END * * *

Prepared by E.S.                                                  Printed in USA
Calvert Continuities                                              Aired 9/20/02

				
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