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					TERAPROOF:User:irenefeighanDate:09/02/2011Time:16:42:13Edition:11/02/2011FeelgoodXH1102Page:1   Zone:XH




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                                                                                                                             Feelgood




                                                                                                                                                                                                   Va ed
                                                                                                                                                                                                   Sp nt on
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                                                                                                                             Friday, February 11, 2011




                                                                                                                                                                                             Go
                                                                                                                                                                                            flirt!
                                                                                                                                                                                           Fun ways to attract
                                                                                                                                                                                                true love: 8,9
                                                                                                           Picture: iStock




                                                                                                                             BODY TALK                   NIGHT IN                          CREATIVE GIFTS
                                                                                                                             Put passion back            We survey readymade meals         20 ways to say it on
                                                                                                                             into your sex life: 4, 5    for couples caught for time: 10   a budget: 11
TERAPROOF:User:margaretjenningsDate:09/02/2011Time:16:50:21Edition:11/02/2011FeelgoodXH1102Page:2   Zone:XH




                                                                                                              2 News front
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                                                                                                                    Kate O’Reilly                            Around 500 babies are stillborn in Ireland each year. Research
                                                                                                                                                             at CUMH is trying to find out why, writes Arlene Harris

                                                                                                                                                            Tragic end
                                                                                                                    WHAT’S ON
                                                                                                              ■ VALENTINE CLIMB: Climb the aptly
                                                                                                              named Cupidstown Hill in Co Kildare
                                                                                                              this weekend and join in Ireland to Ever-
                                                                                                              est, 32 Steps for Cystic Fibrosis. This
                                                                                                              Cystic Fibrosis Association of Ireland




                                                                                                                                                            A
                                                                                                              (CFAI) challenge will see a team of
                                                                                                              climbers scale the highest points in
                                                                                                              each of the 32 counties and some other
                                                                                                              parts of the world, before tackling Ever-                  CTRESS Amanda Holden has                                                               advise pregnant women to attend every
                                                                                                              est. The aim of this fundraising drive is                  been left devastated by the still-                                                     ante-natal appointment, eat properly and fol-
                                                                                                              to establish a National Lung Transplant                    birth of her baby boy this                                                             low their doctors’ advice. If they are con-
                                                                                                              Support Fund for Ireland. Members of          week. She and her husband, Chris Hughes                                                             cerned about their baby’s movement, contact
                                                                                                              the public are invited to join the team at    had been keeping quiet about her pregnan-                                                           a midwife or obstetrician immediately, no
                                                                                                              various locations throughout Ireland          cy until she reached six months as she had                                                          matter what time of day or night.”
                                                                                                              and can participate in the easier climbs.     suffered a miscarriage last year.                                                                      Ron Smith-Murphy is the chairperson of
                                                                                                              The Valentine climb will begin at noon           But tragically just a month after an-                                                            A Little Lifetime Foundation, a charity
                                                                                                              on Sunday at Cupidstown Hill. For full        nouncing the happy news, her “perfectly                                                             which supports parents who have experi-
                                                                                                              details see www.IrelandtoEverest.com.         formed” son was stillborn at seven months’                                                          enced a still birth.
                                                                                                                                                            gestation after she was admitted to hospital                                                           “I hope that any parent coping with one
                                                                                                              ■ WALKING WORKSHOP: If you would              over concerns that her baby hadn’t kicked                                                           of life’s greatest tragedies will find the confi-
                                                                                                              like to get the maximum health benefits       for a day.                                                                                          dence to seek information and support and
                                                                                                              from walking, HSE South is giving a              An estimated 500 babies are stillborn in                                                         also to spend time with their little one,” says
                                                                                                              free workshop in Rosscarbery, Co Cork         Ireland each year. Professor Louise Kenny, a                                                        Smith-Murphy. “It is a very short time
                                                                                                              on Tuesday next, February 15. The             consultant obstetrician at Cork University                                                          frame to create memories, photographs or
                                                                                                              Walking for Health workshop is de-            Maternity Hospital and her colleagues are                                                           foot/hand prints. And funerals are important
                                                                                                              signed for those who would like to in-        currently involved in research to try and                                                           to acknowledge and obtain something tangi-
                                                                                                              crease their activity levels through walk-    find out why babies like Holden’s die in                                                            ble for the painful times afterwards.
                                                                                                              ing and is especially suitable for begin-     the womb.                                                                                              “It is a lonely grief and a journey they will
                                                                                                              ners. Contact Valerie Murphy on                  “There are a number of reasons why a                                                             be on for the rest of lives but with good
                                                                                                              021-4921641 or Valerie.Murphy@hse.ie.         baby may be stillborn but the biggest factor      BROKEN HEARTED: Amanda Holden’s baby              support and love, parents will find a way to
                                                                                                                                                            is still unknown. For the most part, the          was stillborn at seven months, shortly after      navigate their way through. The key to sur-
                                                                                                              ■ MULTIPLE BIRTHS: On the last Friday         death is unexplained and this is what we          she announced her good news. Picture:PA Wire      viving this ordeal is to find support. Just be-
                                                                                                              of every month, from 10am to noon, in         are currently researching,” she says.                                                               cause their baby is not here does not stop
                                                                                                              Brú Columbanus, Wilton, Cork, Noreen             “Sometimes there may be a fundamental          explains. “There is often no indication and it    them being parents.”
                                                                                                              and Valerie, mums of twins, offer their       problem with the baby that was missed in          is very difficult to detect but we do know the
                                                                                                              support to parents and expectant par-         routine scans, or the mother may have un-         rate is slightly higher in older women. We        ■ For more information call 01-8726996 or
                                                                                                              ents of multiples. Contact Valerie on 087     derlying health problems, but in at least         hope our study will reveal something which        visit www.alittlelifetime.ie.
                                                                                                              2171303 or valeriemaout@eircom.net.           50% of the cases, there seems to be no spe-       will allow us to predict the problem before it
                                                                                                                                                            cific cause.                                      occurs.                                           ■ Author and TV presenter Christy
                                                                                                              ■ SWIM NIGHT: The Whitebay Christ-               “Almost 30% of stillbirths happen close           “Stillbirths are still very rare but I would   Kenneally speaks about grief at the Clarion
                                                                                                              mas Swim Night will take place in the         to term or even on the due date,” she                                                               Hotel, Cork on February 26 at 2pm
                                                                                                              Long Pines Bar, Whitegate, Co Cork at
                                                                                                              9pm on Friday next, February 18. Out-
                                                                                                              standing sponsorship money this can
                                                                                                              be lodged at AIB, Midleton A/C No.
                                                                                                              26071033 or Aghada Post Office. You                  HEALTH NOTES
                                                                                                              can contact Cork Simon’s Fundraising
                                                                                                              Office on 021-4929410.                       Parents with young children will welcome a                                                                              A GOOD RUN: Michael
                                                                                                                                                           new e-safety activity booklet, Play and                                                                                 Greene, chairman of CRY
                                                                                                              ■ AWARE MEETING: The Mallow Aware            Learn: Being Online, for four- to                                                                                       (Cardiac Risk in the Young)
                                                                                                              support group are now meeting on the         eight-year-olds using the internet. Spon-                                                                               joins broadcaster and
                                                                                                              first and third Thursday of each month.      sored by Webwise and UPC, the booklet’s
                                                                                                              The next meeting will be on Thursday,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   athlete Jacqui Hurley as
                                                                                                                                                           30-page collection of games and activities
                                                                                                              February 17 at 8pm in Le Cheile Family       helps parents and teachers to discuss priva-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   she launches a national
                                                                                                              Resource Centre, Fair Street, Mallow.        cy and security. Available in nine lan-                                                                                 appeal to women around
                                                                                                              Anyone who suffers from depression or        guages, the e-book’s help develop lan-                                                                                  the country to run for CRY
                                                                                                              anxiety is welcome to attend. Further        guage, maths, social and cultural skills.                                                                               in this year’s Flora
                                                                                                              details from aware.ie and 1890-303302.       Visit: www.saferinternet.org                                                                                            women’s mini marathon.
                                                                                                              Aware are looking for volunteers to                                                                                                                                  Picture: Robbie Reynolds
                                                                                                              train in group facilitation. Contact the     RTÉ sports presenter and athlete, Jacqui
                                                                                                              co-ordinator Kate Donnelly on 087            Hurley, has launched a national appeal for
                                                                                                              2993142 for more details.                    CRY (Cardiac Risk in the Young) to encour-
                                                                                                                                                           age women to run in this year’s Flora wom-
                                                                                                              ■ ENDOMETRIOSIS MEETING: If you              en’s mini marathon on the June bank holiday.
                                                                                                              have been diagnosed with endometrio-         The charity hopes to attract 1,200 women of
                                                                                                              sis and would like to meet other women       all ages and to raise 250,000.
                                                                                                              who are going through experiences               Registration opens on Wednesday, March          walk up to two miles per day doing so.            were disposed of as part of the campaign.
                                                                                                              similar to yours, come along to the next     2. Participants must enter on the official en-      For tips on good sleep patterns, visit
                                                                                                              support group meeting of the En-             try form. Call Lucia on 01-4525482, or             www.pampers.ie.                                   The ‘bake for brain injury’ campaign runs
                                                                                                              dometriosis Association of Ireland. Part-    email lebbs@cry.ie. CRY supports families                                                            from March 7 to 13. The annual fundraiser,
                                                                                                              ners, friends and family members are         who have lost a relative to sudden cardiac         A free service to dispose of unused or            developed by ABI Ireland, encourages peo-
                                                                                                              also welcome. The meeting will be in         death (SCD).                                       out-of-date medicines will be available in        ple to bake and donate funds for those liv-
                                                                                                              the Carmichael Centre, North Brunswick                                                          Cork and Kerry from February 14. The ‘dis-        ing with an acquired brain injury.
                                                                                                              St, Dublin 7 next Saturday from 2.30pm       New research by Pampers has found that             pose of unused medicines properly’ (DUMP)           An estimated 10,000 people are impacted
                                                                                                              to 5pm. More information is available at     Irish parents walk up to 3.2 kilometres per        campaign will run in participating pharmacies     by acquired brain injury (ABI) in Ireland
                                                                                                              www.endo.ie, or phone 086-3203855.           day lulling their baby back to sleep, or 96        until March 28.                                   each year. Irish rugby players, Denis Leamy
                                                                                                                                                           kilometres a month. In a survey of 500 par-          The HSE and 240 participating pharmacies        and Donncha O’Callaghan, along with for-
                                                                                                              ■ HEART CLINIC: The Irish Heart Foun-        ents, six in ten cited lack of sleep as the        are encouraging people to return unwanted         mer Leinster and Ireland players, John Fog-
                                                                                                              dation will hold a free blood pressure       most stressful part of parenting, with seven       or out-of-date medicines for safe disposal.       arty and Bernard Jackman, are supporting
                                                                                                              and cholesterol testing clinic at the        in ten saying their baby wakes one to three        Unused medicine can lead to accidental poi-       the campaign, and their former colleagues,
                                                                                                              Family Resource Centre Farranree, Cork,      times each night. Forty-two percent of par-        soning, inappropriate sharing and overdose        by putting on an apron and baking for brain
                                                                                                              next Wednesday from 2.30pm to 4pm.           ents bring their baby out in a buggy to get        suicide attempts. Last year, more than 260        injury.
                                                                                                              Please email:koreilly8@gmail.com             them to sleep, and 94% of these parents            bins, containing 3.5 tonnes of medicines,           For details, visit www.abiireland.ie.



                                                                                                                 FeelgoodMag              FeelgoodMag           www.irishexaminer.com
                                                                                                                                                              www.irishexaminer.com                  feelgood@examiner.ie
                                                                                                                                                                                                   www.irishexaminer.com                  Editorial: 021 4802 292              Advertising: 021 4802 215

                                                                                                              Feelgood                                                                   FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011
TERAPROOF:User:jaycarcioneDate:09/02/2011Time:16:53:57Edition:11/02/2011FeelgoodXH1102Page:3   Zone:XH




                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        In profile                                                       3
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                                                                                                                   THE SHAPE I'M IN                                                  Una Crawford O’Brien

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              A UNIQUE
                                                                                                                       Girls aloud                                                                                                               GIFT
                                                                                                           U             NA Crawford O’Brien stars alongside Adele
                                                                                                                         King and Flo McSweeney in Grumpy Old
                                                                                                                         Women Live, a show that’s billed as “an orgy
                                                                                                           of middle-aged mayhem, 90 minutes of theatrical HRT
                                                                                                           with not a thong in sight.”
                                                                                                                                                                              What’s your favourite smell?
                                                                                                                                                                              My favourite smell is freesia, not the synthetic smell or
                                                                                                                                                                              perfume, just the real flower. I adore it.
                                                                                                                                                                              What trait do you least like in others?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     A PERSONALISED
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     IRISH EXAMINER
                                                                                                              Una was part of the same trio of ladies who previously
                                                                                                           starred in the smash hit, Menopause The Musical.
                                                                                                              “I’m having a great time with Grumpy Old Women. It’s
                                                                                                                                                                              Meanness — people who are mean-spirited and finan-
                                                                                                                                                                              cially mean.                                                             FRONT PAGE
                                                                                                           really hard work — all go, go, go, but when you love what          What trait do you least like in yourself?
                                                                                                           you do, you really enjoy it.”                                      I’d like to be a little more tolerant.
                                                                                                              It’s about a year since Una’s long-standing Fair City
                                                                                                           character, Renee, left the TV soap. “I miss Fair City. It          Do you pray?
                                                                                                           was part of my life for 11 years and I loved it — it was just      I do, but not in the accepted way. Like a lot of people, I
                                                                                                           one of those fantastic jobs. But I’ve been told Renee has          pray when things go wrong.
                                                                                                           gone to Brazil, so there’s always hope — she hasn’t been
                                                                                                           written out.”                                                      What would cheer up a typical day?
                                                                                                              Una has two sons, aged 25 and 18, but is coy about her          My partner, Bryan Murray, who makes me laugh.
                                                                                                           own age. “My age depends on my mood when I get up.
                                                                                                           I’m over 50 — I will say that,” she says.
                                                                                                              The actress, who grew up in Clondalkin, has lived in                            Helen O’Callaghan
                                                                                                           Rathgar for 30 years.                                                                                                                ���� ����� ���
                                                                                                              “I try to go for a 40-minute walk every day. I don’t par-                                                                         ������� ���� ��
                                                                                                           ticularly like it, but, if I’m stressed, it relaxes me. I either
                                                                                                           walk with a friend or stick my ear-phones in,” she says.                                                                               ������ ����
                                                                                                              Grumpy Old Women Live is at the Gaiety Theatre,
                                                                                                           Dublin, until February 19; in Galway’s Town Hall Theatre
                                                                                                           from Monday, February 28 to Saturday, March 5; at Cork’s
                                                                                                           Everyman Palace Theatre from Monday, March 7 to Satur-
                                                                                                           day, March 12; at Waterford’s Theatre Royal from Monday,
                                                                                                           March 14 to Saturday, March 19; and in Limerick,
                                                                                                           Athlone, and Killarney on dates through March.
                                                                                                           What shape are you in?
                                                                                                           I’m in okay shape. By the end of this show, I hope to be
                                                                                                           better — the director has us jumping up and down. When
                                                                                                           I did Menopause The Musical, I lost a half stone.
                                                                                                           Do you have any health concerns?
                                                                                                           No, I don’t. Allergy-wise, wheat and onions don’t agree
                                                                                                           with me. Thank God, I’m fairly healthy, otherwise.
                                                                                                           What are your healthiest eating habits?                                                                                             �������� ���� ������� �������� �� �������� �
                                                                                                           I don’t really like breakfast, but I do have a yoghurt                                                                              ������������ ������ ����� ���� ���� ��� �����
                                                                                                           drink and a banana every morning.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              �������� ���������� ������� ���� ���� ��������
                                                                                                           What’s your guiltiest pleasure?                                                                                                     ���� ������� ��� ������� ���� �� �������� ����
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               ����
                                                                                                           I don’t really have any. I’m not really a chocaholic. I like
                                                                                                           a glass of wine with meals, or a glass of champagne when I                                                                                                        ��
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 ��� ����� ���� ���� ���� ���� ������ ���� �
                                                                                                           can afford it.                                                                                                                          ������ �������� ������ ���� � ������
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                �������� ������� �� �������� ��� ��������
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              �
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              ��
                                                                                                           What would keep you awake at night?
                                                                                                           There wouldn’t be enough time to write it all down. I’m                                                                                     ���� �� ���������� �������������
                                                                                                           not a good sleeper. I haven’t slept properly in about six                                                                                     ����������� ��� ���������
                                                                                                           months. Everything keeps me awake at night.
                                                                                                           How do you relax?
                                                                                                           Walking would be the main thing. Also, I knit. If I’m at
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 ������ ���
                                                                                                           a rehearsal, where I don’t have a big part, I knit. I used to
                                                                                                           do it on the set of Fair City.                                                                                                                       �������� ���
                                                                                                           Who would you invite to your dream dinner party?                                                                                                            �� ������
                                                                                                           I’d invite my great-grandmother, Mary O’Farrell, who
                                                                                                           worked in Dublin Castle.                                                                                                                     ������ ���� ��� ����� �� ������ ���� ����
                                                                                                              She was the first person to discover the crown jewels                                                                                                                �
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                �� ���������� ���� �������
                                                                                                           were missing, when she went in to clean the fireplaces in                                                                                      ������ ��� ������� �� ��� �������
                                                                                                           July, 1907. I’d love to sit down and talk with her about                                                                                            ������ �������������������
                                                                                                           those times.                                                         MIDDLE BROW: Una
                                                                                                              I’d also invite my father. He died in 1978 and I never            co-stars in Grumpy Old
                                                                                                           got to sit down and have a proper, adult conversation with           Women, a show about
                                                                                                           him. I’d invite my daughter, Sorcha, as well.                        female ‘middle-aged
                                                                                                                                                                                mayhem.’
                                                                                                           What would you change about your appearance?
                                                                                                           All the lines that seem to be springing into my face.
                                                                                                           When did you last cry?                                                                                                                                         � ��������� ���� ����� ����
                                                                                                           Every Christmas, I watch Miracle On 34th Street and
                                                                                                           every Christmas I cry at it.                                                                                                    ����� ��� ���������� ������ �� �� �� ��� ���������� �� ��� ����� �������� �� ������ �� ������ ��� ������� �� �������
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           �
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               ���                                              ���
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           �� ����� ���������� ��� ������������ ������� ����� ����� �� ���� ��� ������������ ��������� �������� ��� ������
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              ��������� �� ����� ���� ������ �� ���� ����




                                                                                                         Feelgood                                                                          FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011
TERAPROOF:User:margaretjenningsDate:09/02/2011Time:16:39:52Edition:11/02/2011FeelgoodXH1102Page:4   Zone:XH




                                                                                                              4 xxxxxxxxget physical
                                                                                                                   Let’s                                                                                                                                           XH - V1   XH - V1
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               5
                                                                                                                We may think everyone else in a relationship is having lots of sex but for most people                                                                       keeping the magic alive in the bedroom can be hard work, says Kathy Foley



                                                                                                               Close encounters of the lovin’ kind
                                                                                                                                                                       H
                                                                                                                                                                       life. For most couples, the level of their sexu-
                                                                                                                                                                       al activity mirrors what’s happening between
                                                                                                                                                                       them.
                                                                                                                                                                                      OW healthy is your relationship?
                                                                                                                                                                                      Is it hale and hearty, or weak and
                                                                                                                                                                                      tottering? Now consider your sex
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   All couples
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       need to
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Information at
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     your fingertips
                                                                                                                                                                          “Sex is a good barometer of relationship
                                                                                                                                                                       health,” says Rita Glover, the chair of the
                                                                                                                                                                       MSc in Psychotherapy at Dublin City Uni-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                               recognise and
                                                                                                                                                                       versity, “Low levels of sex can reflect high
                                                                                                                                                                       levels of stress and pressure, or a partner’s ex-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 deal with the
                                                                                                                                                                       perience of being criticised and rejected.”             problems that
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     T
                                                                                                                                                                          While popular culture may have us condi-                                                                                                                                                                                                                        HERE was a time when caring
                                                                                                                                                                       tioned to believe that everyone in a relation-
                                                                                                                                                                       ship is constantly having lengthy bouts of en-         can damage or                                                                                                                                                                                               couples in search of inspiration and
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          advice had to make do with a tatty
                                                                                                                                                                       thralling sex, the reality is not so thrilling.
                                                                                                                                                                       According to the Irish Study of Sexual                kill off your sex                                                                                                                                                                                       copy of The Joy of Sex, hidden at the
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     back of the wardrobe. Now, there is a
                                                                                                                                                                       Health and Relationships, released in 2006,
                                                                                                                                                                       half of married people reported having sex               life. Stress is                                                                                                                                                                                      plethora of sex and relationship advice
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     available online. Some of it is even quite
                                                                                                                                                                       less often than once a week. More worrying-                                                                                                                                                                                                                   useful.
                                                                                                                                                                       ly, 14% of men and 17% of women said they
                                                                                                                                                                       had sex less than twice a year.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    one of the                                                                                                                                                                                       1. Moresexdaily.com: A site devoted
                                                                                                                                                                          Liam Lally, a counsellor at Accord, the
                                                                                                                                                                       Catholic marriage care service, says its 60
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       biggest                                                                                                                                                                                       to encouraging long-term couples to
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     have more sex, with heaps of informa-
                                                                                                                                                                       centres around Ireland delivered more than
                                                                                                                                                                       40,000 counselling sessions in 2009.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                culprits and it                                                                                                                                                                                      tion, advice, research and real-life stories.
                                                                                                                                                                          “Over 60% of those coming for counselling
                                                                                                                                                                       listed sexual/intimacy difficulties as an issue         can stem from                                                                                                                                                                                         2. IrishHealth.com: Not sex-specific,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     but plenty of useful, sexual health and
                                                                                                                                                                       in the relationship,” he says. “In 2010 this fig-
                                                                                                                                                                       ure rose to 65%. The percentage was almost             work problems,                                                                                                                                                                                         relationship information here, aimed
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     specifically at Irish readers.
                                                                                                                                                                       identical for male and female clients.”
                                                                                                                                                                          At least couples who are struggling to                    parenting,                                                                                                                                                                                       3. Mrcs.ie: While giving advice on the
                                                                                                                                                                       maintain a good sex life know they are not
                                                                                                                                                                       alone. But they can also take comfort in the
                                                                                                                                                                       knowledge that it is quite normal to experi-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                bereavement,                                                                                                                                                                                         Marriage Relationship and Counselling
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Service in Ireland, this website is also
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     home to articles and tips on maintaining
                                                                                                                                                                       ence peaks and troughs in libido, and that
                                                                                                                                                                       most sex-related problems can be addressed.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                             moving house or                                                                                                                                                                                         a healthy relation-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     ship.
                                                                                                                                                                          “Most relationships begin with an increased
                                                                                                                                                                       level of sexual activity and intimacy,” says
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   even worry                                                                                                                                                                                        4. Accord.ie:
                                                                                                                                                                       Glover. “But it’s quite normal for sex to settle
                                                                                                                                                                       into a comfortable pattern after a while.”
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     about the                                                                                                                                                                                       Likewise, the Ac-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     cord website offers
                                                                                                                                                                          All couples need to recognise and deal with
                                                                                                                                                                       what sex therapist Suzi Godson calls the ‘sex                   current                                                                                                                                                                                       plenty of reading
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     material for cou-
                                                                                                                                                                       thieves’, the problems that can damage or kill
                                                                                                                                                                       off your sex life. Stress is one of the biggest               economic                                                                                                                                                                                        ples, in addition
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     to information on
                                                                                                                                                                       culprits and can stem from work problems,
                                                                                                                                                                       parenting, bereavement, moving house or                         climate                               TOUCH AND GO: Couples struggling to maintain a good sex life can take comfort from research which suggests it’s normal to experience
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     its counselling ser-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     vices.
                                                                                                                                                                       even worry about the current economic cli-
                                                                                                                                                                       mate.                                                                                                 peaks and troughs in libido, and that most sex-related problems can be addressed. Picture: Getty Images                                                 5. Re-
                                                                                                                                                                          Different events in life can radically affect                                                                                                                                                                                                              late.org.uk: This
                                                                                                                                                                       our sex lives — pregnancy is a prime exam-                                                                                                                                                                                                                    British relationship advice service shares
                                                                                                                                                                       ple.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          some handy information on its site.
                                                                                                                                                                          “A lot of couples come for counselling af-       with sexual addictions, can all be addressed.     that, says Glover. She describes criticism,        longer without sex,” says O’Hara. “Men tend       with, especially if depression may be an issue.
                                                                                                                                                                       ter their first baby arrives,” says Lisa O’Hara       “It is about having the courage to speak to     contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling as        to pursue sexual intimacy, while women tend          Remember, even the smallest step will           6. iVillage.com: One of the world’s
                                                                                                                                                                       of MRCS (Marriage Relationship and                  your GP, who will be able to help you,” she       the four main killers of good communication,       to pursue emotional intimacy, but they are        help. Give compliments and show affection          biggest women’s interest sites. It has an
                                                                                                                                                                       Counselling Services). “That is a time in a         says. “Sex is so good for you, psychologically,   adding they can kill off sexual desire too.        both so important. You couldn’t actually say      to your partners. Plan time together, even if      entire section on love and sex.
                                                                                                                                                                       couple’s relationship when gender differences       emotionally and physically, that everyone has       It mightn’t sound too romantic, but one of       one is more important than the other.”            it is only going for a walk.
                                                                                                                                                                       are heightened. She needs a lot of care, but        to be encouraged to enjoy it fully.”              the best ways to keep your sex life on track is      The only thing for it is to compromise and         “It is all about setting the scene and creat-   7. Jezebel.com: For a fierce, feminist
                                                                                                                                                                       she may have been the caregiver before, so            No matter what the issue is, the best thing     to make a date — with your diary.                  agree to give and take. “People of all ages       ing an atmosphere,” says Glover. “You can’t        slant on love and sex (and plenty more
                                                                                                                                                                       the roles change. He might find it hard to ac-      couples can do for their sex live is communi-       “The opportunities for spontaneous sex can       have different levels of sexual desire and per-   go from a cold, uncaring relationship into a       besides), read this website, where the
                                                                                                                                                                       cept that the baby takes priority.”                 cate.                                             decrease as a relationship goes on, so couples     formance,” says Lally. “It is important that a    good sex life.”                                    comments are as informative and enter-
                                                                                                                                                                          It is also important to remember that some         “Sex is probably the most natural thing we      need to plan to have regular, private, uninter-    couple’s needs and expectations compatible           And the best thing of all to bear in mind,      taining as the articles.
                                                                                                                                                                       sex-related problems may stem from actual           do, but one of the hardest things to talk         rupted time for intimacy and sex. Even if you      and mutually acceptable.                          in these difficult economic times, is that sex
                                                                                                                                                                       dysfunctions and could need medical treat-          about,” says O’Hara. “When we talk about          do not necessarily feel like having sex, let the     If you find you are struggling to bring your    is one of the best stress-busters there is.        8. YourTango.com: A peppy, youthful
                                                                                                                                                                       ment. Glover cites vaginismus, dyspareunia          sex, as in any conversation, we want to be        mind rule the mood,” says Glover, adding           sex life to a place that works for both of you,      “Think of how a small baby needs touch,”        site with a light approach, but plenty of
                                                                                                                                                                       (pain during sex), hormonal changes in              heard, express ourselves and be respected.”       that after some intimacy such as a sensual         consider seeing a couples counsellor or a cog-    says O’Hara. “We all need that comfort and         useful advice on sex and relationships,
                                                                                                                                                                       women, premature ejaculation and erectile             Being aware of the factors that block           massage, the mood tends to catch up.               nitive behavioural therapist. They are com-       touch. Even if a couple doesn’t have penetra-      under the froth.
                                                                                                                                                                       dysfunction as common problems that can be          healthy communication will go a long way to         Be mindful of each other’s needs and how         fortable discussing sex and will put you at       tive sex, being close enough to another per-
                                                                                                                                               Picture: Getty Images   cured or much improved. Likewise, sexual            keeping the channels open. When we recog-         those might differ. “It is a generalisation, of    your ease. Alternatively, one or both partners    son to touch, smell, hear and taste them can       9. BlogHer.com: Look at the ‘love and
                                                                                                                                                                       aversions and phobias, as well as problems          nise how we are being negative, we change         course, but women tend to be able to go            can attend counselling on their own to start      be comforting.”                                    sex’ category for articles from women
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     around the world blogging on relation-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     ships.

                                                                                                               According to the Irish Study of Sexual Health and Relationships, half of married                                                                              people reported having sex less often than once a week                                                                                                  10. Lemondrop.co.uk: Another light
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     look at life, love and sex with plenty of
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     entertaining news and views.


                                                                                                              Feelgood                               FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011                                                                                               Feelgood                                                                          FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011
TERAPROOF:User:margaretjenningsDate:09/02/2011Time:16:25:52Edition:11/02/2011FeelgoodXH1102Page:6   Zone:XH




                                                                                                              6 xxxxxxxxdays
                                                                                                                   Early
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    XH - V1




                                                                                                              Is first love really the magical experience we remember, asks Margaret Neylon



                                                                                                              Sweet memories
                                                                                                              M                 Y first love was Dave. We met
                                                                                                                                at a disco in England when
                                                                                                                                we were both 16 years old.
                                                                                                              We fell head over heels in love and, before
                                                                                                              long, I felt I couldn’t live without him.
                                                                                                              When we were apart we spent hours on the                                                                                                                           Our first love
                                                                                                              telephone, no doubt driving our parents
                                                                                                              crazy during those pre-mobile phone days.
                                                                                                                 Our relationship lasted more than three
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   will always
                                                                                                              years and fell apart only when I moved back
                                                                                                              to Ireland. It had been a lovely experience,                                                                                                                   make an imprint
                                                                                                              until the break-up, and every now and again,
                                                                                                              out of idle curiosity, I wondered what had                                                                                                                        in our hearts.
                                                                                                              happened to Dave, though it was unlikely we
                                                                                                              would ever come across each other again.                                                                                                                         For something
                                                                                                                 Then, a couple of years ago, I presented a
                                                                                                              radio programme called First Love. It brought
                                                                                                              back my own experience of falling in love for
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               happens when
                                                                                                              the first time: the first kiss, the first date, the
                                                                                                              excitement meeting, the music that held a
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             we first give our
                                                                                                              special message for us, the burgeoning love
                                                                                                              that grew between us. Not surprisingly, Dave
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             heart away: the
                                                                                                              came back into my mind once more. Little
                                                                                                              did I know that, across the water, something
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              world changes.
                                                                                                              similar was happening to Dave. He was now
                                                                                                              living in London and, going into a bookshop                                                                                                                         Colours are
                                                                                                              one day, came across a book by a Margaret
                                                                                                              Neylon. He decided to check out if this was                                                                                                                     brighter. Life is
                                                                                                              the person he had known all those years ago.
                                                                                                              Of course it was, and we have been in email                                                                                                                         more full of
                                                                                                              contact ever since.
                                                                                                                 He had married and had children who are
                                                                                                              now adults, and recently been divorced.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             promise. Words
                                                                                                              Though it’s nice to know we are both alive
                                                                                                              and well, I don’t think either of us has any
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      engrave
                                                                                                              desire to meet again. (Personally, I would
                                                                                                              hate to burst the bubble on my happy mem-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               themselves in
                                                                                                              ories of that time).
                                                                                                                 Despite this, I don’t think we ever truly
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                our mind. Our
                                                                                                              forget our first love, it will always make an
                                                                                                              imprint in our hearts. For something happens                                                                                                                        heart beats
                                                                                                              when we first give our heart away: the world
                                                                                                              changes. Colours are brighter. Life is more                                                                                                                                faster
                                                                                                              full of promise. Words engrave themselves in
                                                                                                              our mind and our heart beats faster.
                                                                                                                 What is it about our first love? According
                                                                                                              to romantic novelists, it usually begins with
                                                                                                              love at first sight, that certain ‘look’ that acts
                                                                                                              like a magnet. However, scientists from Face
                                                                                                              Research Laboratory at the University of Ab-
                                                                                                              erdeen would throw cold water on that sug-
                                                                                                              gestion. Their research shows that romance
                                                                                                              has very little do to with it, for that ‘look’ is
                                                                                                              more about sex and ego. “It’s a narcissistic
                                                                                                              thing. People are attracted to people who are
                                                                                                              attracted to them,” says scientist Ben Jones.
                                                                                                                 Like learning the alphabet, our first love
                                                                                                              stays in our memory forever. As the Saw                                                                                           Picture: Getty Images
                                                                                                              Doctors put it in their song Red Cortina:
                                                                                                              “First Love Stays with you Forever” but what
                                                                                                              novelist Elizabeth Aston says could also be
                                                                                                              true: “One’s first love is always perfect until
                                                                                                              one meets one’s second love.”
                                                                                                                 We tend to cherish our memories of first           the film Hudd hanging on my bedroom wall.           something so incredible and indescribable          involve the messenger chemical dopamine,
                                                                                                              love, perhaps remembering it as something             He was the first person I saw on waking, the        that I will treasure it always. And I feel so      which stimulates the brain’s ‘reward centre’,
                                                                                                              very innocent. In our early years when we             last person I saw before I fell asleep. Those       fortunate because he’s now one of my best          and it’s this that helps one person fall in love
                                                                                                              are searching for an ideal love, we may fall for      startling blue eyes, that strong jaw. He was        friends.”                                          with another.
                                                                                                              unattainable air-brushed television stars and         my ideal, my hero. Shame he was happily                Holmes went on to marry Tom Cruise —              If you haven’t already fallen head over heels
                                                                                                              celebrities.                                          married to Joanne Woodward.”                        also Kate Hudson’s pin-up — whom she had           and time is moving on, is there any hope for
                                                                                                                 Irish novelist Patricia Scanlan’s first love was      But what is it like for celebrities to fall in   idolised since childhood.                          you? If you’re an optimist, you may take on
                                                                                                              actor Paul Newman.                                    love for the first time? Actor Katie Holmes            Pop stars have been saying ‘love is a drug’     board an observation from Irish psychoanalyst
                                                                                                                 “It was the first time I became aware of the       dated her Dawson’s Creek co-star Joshua             for years and researchers at Stanford Universi-    Paul Gill, who says: “You can meet your first
                                                                                                              possibility of having a boyfriend in my life. I       Jackson early in the show’s run. After the re-      ty in the US have found evidence that the          love at any age. It may not be the first person
                                                                                                              saw Paul Newman in Cat on a Hot Tin                   lationship ended, she told Rolling Stone            brain chemistry responsible for addiction also     you are with, but it will be the only one who
                                                                                                              Roof, and had his iconic poster taken from            magazine: “I had my first love, and it was          plays a role in falling in love. Both addictions   possesses your heart.”



                                                                                                              Feelgood                                                                              FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011
TERAPROOF:User:GERARDDESMONDDate:09/02/2011Time:18:11:46Edition:11/02/2011FeelgoodXH1102Page:7   Zone:XH




                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               Psychology                                            7
                                                                                                           XH - V1




                                                                                                                        The unconditional love of parents is a must if                                                                              EMPOWERING WORKSHOPS
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  to be truly       • Improve communication and resolve conflict
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                                                                                                                     Tony Humphreys                                                                                               Picture: Getty
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  Images
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                or phone Carolyn Curtis on 087 6419912




                                                                                                           O               UR nature is love, but when, as infants and chil-
                                                                                                                           dren, we do not receive unconditional holding
                                                                                                                           from the first woman in our lives, our mother, or
                                                                                                           the first man in our lives, our father, it becomes dangerous
                                                                                                           for us to express the fullness and lovability of our nature.
                                                                                                              To survive the tragedy of not being unconditionally loved,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Are You Interested in
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Mental Health?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    The SOURCE Group are conducting a new study about the
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    mental health needs of adults aged over 50.
                                                                                                           the child has to find other means to attract his or her parents’                                                                         In the past few weeks have you:
                                                                                                           attention. While there is no replacing the real thing (the                                                                               ● lost sleep over worry?
                                                                                                           unique person of the child), without a substitute means of at-       only when a consciousness of it emerges can we begin to
                                                                                                           tracting the parent, the child would plummet into the cold           connect with self and with the self of a lover, friend, parent,     ● feltunhappy and depressed?
                                                                                                           darkness of despair, and, I believe, would die.                      or whoever.                                                         ● or felt you couldn’t overcome your difficulties?
                                                                                                              This can happen later on, when, as a young adult, our sub-           Until that consciousness develops, connection with another       If you answered yes, are over 50, and have not visited your
                                                                                                           stitute ways of gaining attention cease to work. For example,        will remain at a peripheral level. To risk a self-to-self contact
                                                                                                           it is not uncommon for a young man who is deeply insecure            is a bridge too far at this point in time.                          GP about your mental health, or used mental health support
                                                                                                           — so uncertain of expressing his true self — that following a           Piero Ferrucci, a psychotherapist and philosopher and au-        services in the last 12 months, we would like to hear from you.
                                                                                                           breakdown of a relationship with a girlfriend, he takes his          thor of The Power of Kindness, distinguishes between two            The objective of this research is to identify new initiatives to
                                                                                                           precious life. When his girlfriend ends the relationship, he         types of relationships — a relationship from the centre ( un-       assist people over 50 who are experiencing distress. If you are
                                                                                                           unconsciously perceives it as a recurrence of the original           conditional love); and a relationship from the periphery (con-
                                                                                                           abandonment by his mother (or some significant other) and            ditional relating).                                                 a service professional with such ideas, we would like to hear
                                                                                                           suicide becomes the means of extinguishing the pain of this             Peripheral love expects recognition and support, and lives       from you too.
                                                                                                           unbearable experience.                                               in fear of not getting them. Requiring immediate gratifica-         Please note that interviews will be carried out by people aged
                                                                                                              It is often the case that the ex-girlfriend may feel guilty and   tion, it may be demanding, commanding, manipulating and             50+ and will be completely confidential.
                                                                                                           responsible for his death, but the young man’s dependence            impermanent. It takes into consideration only the surface —
                                                                                                           would have eaten into the heart of the relationship and, in-         the qualities and behaviours — of persons rather than their         If you would like to take part please contact 086 1906979
                                                                                                           evitably, the relationship would have broken down, or, if it         core. It can often happen that persons who are the object of                 or sourcegrp@gmail.com, or write to us at
                                                                                                           continued, been an unhappy and conflictual liaison.                  this love can imprison themselves in the jail of guilt, of re-        SOURCE, c/o Information & Resource Centre, Alvira
                                                                                                              Infants and children are amazingly resilient at finding substi-   sponsibility for the others’ happiness and fears of upsetting             Gate, Burton Hall, Sandyford, Dublin 18.
                                                                                                           tute ways of attracting key individuals in their lives: by being     them. However, if truth be told, these persons are already im-
                                                                                                           ‘good’, by working hard, by being ever so pleasing, by smil-         prisoned by their disconnection from self, and unless they
                                                                                                           ing all the time, by being shy and quiet, by being top of the        free themselves and emerge from behind their defensive
                                                                                                           class, by being perfectionistic, by being sick, by being the         prison walls, they will continue to hold onto co-dependent
                                                                                                           clown, by being difficult, rebellious and by controlling. Each       relationships.
                                                                                                           child finds their own unique ways, and generally opposite to
                                                                                                           that of a brother or a sister. Indeed, there are as many substi-
                                                                                                                                                                                   However, the illusion that peripheral love will bring endur-
                                                                                                                                                                                ing happiness is shattered by the inherent lovelessness of pe-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     ����������� ����� ������ ��������� ����
                                                                                                           tute ways of getting recognition as there are children.              ripheral love and groundless admiration tragically gives way to         � ���� ������ �������� ����� ���� 3 in CORK
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                                                                                                              Sadly, most of us were not loved for our unique person and        frustration and resentment.                                               ���� �������� ������� ��� �������� ������ �������� �� ��������
                                                                                                           so, by the time we come into young adulthood, we have                   It is not that love from the periphery does not have its                      ����������� �� ��������� ���� ������ ��� ����������
                                                                                                           powerfully hidden our real and true self and have learned that       pleasurable moments. Indeed, when these moments are pre-                       Our MBSR training ������� ��� ���� you suffer �����
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               ��� ���� ��������programme can help��if��� ������ from:
                                                                                                           the way to another’s person heart is through behaviour.              sent, it can be difficult to distinguish it from more centred            ������ ������ ������� ��������� ������� ����� ��������� ������
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      ���������� ������� ���� ������� ����� ������� ��� ����� ��������
                                                                                                              Consequently, in the strong, emerging need to attract a           love. But the differences are acute: peripheral love is condi-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               ��� ���� ����������� �� ���� � ����� ������ ��������
                                                                                                           lover, we attempt to impress the person of our desires with          tional (a substitute for real love), while centred love is uncon-                     ������� ������ ��� �����������
                                                                                                           being beautiful or handsome, sexy, athletic, clever, charming,       ditional and frees the persons it touches, instead of binding                 ��� ���� �� ��� ������� timothy@kalyanacentre.com
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                                                                                                           funny, complimentary. We also attempt to impress with our            them with responsibility for one’s happiness.                                            ��� ���������������������
                                                                                                           exploits to date, our academic achievements, our status, our            Furthermore, centred love is bountiful and permanent, and,
                                                                                                           ambitions and the books we have read, the films we’ve seen,          as it originates from the silence of the self, it penetrates the
                                                                                                           not to mention our interests and hobbies.                            outer shell, the thousand masks that individuals wear, the de-
                                                                                                              It is as if we need to talk ourselves into a relationship and     fensive walls they hide behind and it sees the essence of the                   The
                                                                                                           convince the other of our worthiness of his or her affections.       person loved.                                                                                             DO YOU HAVE
                                                                                                              More often than not, the person we feel attracted to is also
                                                                                                           experiencing doubts and fears about self, and as a result may
                                                                                                                                                                                   In the words of Ferrucci, centred love “is not stopped by
                                                                                                                                                                                the possible ugliness of the surface, or by the wearing away of      Feel Good                           CONSTIPATION?
                                                                                                           be ‘taken in’ by the pursuer’s ways of impressing.                   the body, nor is it bound by boredom, by routine, by friction,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Are you male or female,
                                                                                                              It is not that the person who seeks to impress is going the
                                                                                                           wrong way about creating a relationship. The fact is that his
                                                                                                           unsureness mirrors a disconnection from self that he necessar-
                                                                                                                                                                                or by any other event which may appear to render the object
                                                                                                                                                                                of love unattractive or less interesting.”
                                                                                                                                                                                   It is a love like this that would make the world go round.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Personals                              over 18 years of age and
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             would like to participate
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      FOR COST EFFECTIVE                    in a study of a treatment
                                                                                                           ily created in the face of a parent not connecting with his                                                                                   ADVERTISING                            for this condition?
                                                                                                           person.                                                              Tony Humphreys practices clinical psychologist, is author of
                                                                                                              It needs to be seen that a parent’s behaviour unconsciously       several books and a national and international speaker. His            Phone: LORI FRASER                   If so, please contact our
                                                                                                           arises from his or her own inner disconnection. Because the          books Myself, My Partner and Relationship, Relationship, Rela-            Tel. 021-4802265                Clinical Trials Unit at
                                                                                                           disconnection from self occurs at an unconscious level, it is        tionship are relevant to today’s topic.                                   Fax 021-4273846
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              x                           021 494 1375 or email
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       lori.fraser@examiner.ie            clinicaltrialsunit@ahealth.ie



                                                                                                           Feelgood                                                                           FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011
TERAPROOF:User:margaretjenningsDate:09/02/2011Time:17:06:03Edition:11/02/2011FeelgoodXH1102Page:8   Zone:XH




                                                                                                              8 xxxxxxxx story
                                                                                                                   Cover                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Finding a soulmate                                      9
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         XH - V2




                                                                                                                     A range of experts dedicated to helping singletons find love give Deirdre Reynolds advice on flirting, winning chat-up lines, grooming and the laws of attraction



                                                                                                              A NOD, A WINK AND A DATE                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               I created a
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 collage on the
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   inside of my
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 wardrobe with
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              images and words
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 relating to my


                                                                                                              C
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       ideal man
                                                                                                                            UPID is taking aim — but the           the same tone of voice, so that you’re in

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            L
                                                                                                                            diminutive deity of desire can         sync with each other. Couples who are in                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        OVED-UP Jenny Grainger and Eoin

                                                                                                                                                                                                                     M
                                                                                                                            only do so much.                       love do this unconsciously by leaning in                   ATURE student Georgia Brophy,                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Scolard, pictured below, who run the
                                                                                                                 Santa has his little helpers and the Easter       towards each other or taking a drink at the                31, who lives in Galway city, turned                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Irish School of Life in Belfast and
                                                                                                              Bunny can rely on Cadbury for a dig out.
                                                                                                              Matchmaking Cupid, meanwhile, depends
                                                                                                                                                                   same time.
                                                                                                                                                                      “Anchoring is another good flirting
                                                                                                                                                                                                                              to social dating site Maybe-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                     friends.com in her search for Mr Right. And                 With internet                                                                                                                                                                                              Dublin, first locked eyes on a hilltop in
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Italy in 2009. Jenny says she used the Law
                                                                                                              on a little flirting to help fuel his Valen-
                                                                                                              tine’s Day arrows.
                                                                                                                                                                   technique,” adds Goldin, who also runs the
                                                                                                                                                                   Paul Goldin Clinic in Dun Laoghaire. “It’s
                                                                                                                                                                                                                     12 months and several mouse-clicks later,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                     she reveals why she won’t be alone this               dating, you can be                                                                                                                                                                                               of Attraction to lasso the man of her
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            dreams. This concept, made famous by
                                                                                                                 Never mind a dozen fresh oysters —
                                                                                                              from romantic poetry to Facebook poking,
                                                                                                                                                                   a positive trigger between you and the ob-
                                                                                                                                                                   ject of your affections.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Valentine’s.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        “In my 20s, I had two long-term relation-           really picky about                                                                                                                                                                                              self-help book The Secret, is defined by
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Wikipedia as the belief ‘that positive and
                                                                                                              the greatest aphrodisiac known to hu-
                                                                                                              mankind is totally free.
                                                                                                                                                                      “For example, a guy might briefly put
                                                                                                                                                                   his hand on a girl’s shoulder while paying
                                                                                                                                                                                                                     ships that didn’t work out. So when I found
                                                                                                                                                                                                                     myself single again about a year ago, I decid-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           the type of person                                                                                                                                                                                               negative thinking bring about positive and
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            negative physical results, respectively’.
                                                                                                                 And whether you’re 20 or 120, loved-up
                                                                                                              or single, flirting is a surefire way to ignite
                                                                                                                                                                   her a compliment and then again later on
                                                                                                                                                                   in the conversation, so that she begins to
                                                                                                                                                                                                                     ed to try online dating. People use websites
                                                                                                                                                                                                                     like Facebook and Twitter for social net-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           you're looking for.                                                                                                                                                                                                 “At 40, I suddenly found myself a single
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            mum when my marriage of 10 years end-
                                                                                                              you on February 14, according to the
                                                                                                              experts.
                                                                                                                                                                   unconsciously associate him with feeling
                                                                                                                                                                   good about herself.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                     working — so why not dating too?
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        “With internet dating, you can be really
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             For instance, if a                                                                                                                                                                                             ed,” recalls Jenny. “Rather than race into
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            another relationship, I decided to take
                                                                                                                 But there’s more to flirting than flutter-
                                                                                                              ing your eyelashes and cheesy chat-up
                                                                                                                                                                      “It’s a bit like when you’re driving and a
                                                                                                                                                                   song comes on the radio that reminds you
                                                                                                                                                                                                                     picky about the type of person you’re look-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                     ing for. For instance, if a guy is too lazy to
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             guy is too lazy to                                                                                                                                                                                             some time out to decide what I really
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            wanted from another romance at this stage
                                                                                                              lines, says hypnotherapist Katie Jane
                                                                                                              Goldin.
                                                                                                                                                                   of a great holiday.”
                                                                                                                                                                      Then, of course, there’s the time-hon-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                     send me a proper message and photo, I write
                                                                                                                                                                                                                     him off immediately.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             send me a proper                                                                                                                                                                                               in my life. I was already passionate about
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            the Law of Attraction and had applied it to
                                                                                                                 “Flirting isn’t just about love or sex,” ex-
                                                                                                              plains Goldin, author of ebook The
                                                                                                                                                                   oured ‘double take’: “Doing a double take
                                                                                                                                                                   lets someone know you think they’re
                                                                                                                                                                                                                        “You occasionally get inappropriate mes-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                     sages from guys who haven’t even filled out
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 message and                                                                                                                                                                                                other areas of my life like finances and ca-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            reer. So I thought: ‘Why not use it for
                                                                                                              Goldin Art of Flirting. “It’s a form of pos-
                                                                                                              itive communication that can be used in
                                                                                                                                                                   worth looking at twice.”
                                                                                                                                                                      But is this all lost on Irish guys, who
                                                                                                                                                                                                                     their profile asking if you’re interested in           photo, I write him                                                                                                                                                                                              love and see what happens?’
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               “I spent a few months getting really clear
                                                                                                                                                                                                                     ‘no-strings sex’. And once — on a different
                                                                                                              any situation. I teach flirting to techniques
                                                                                                              to clients for many different reasons such as
                                                                                                                                                                   mostly have to have drink taken before ap-
                                                                                                                                                                   proaching a girl, before she will invariably
                                                                                                                                                                                                                     website — I even got a flirty message from               off immediately                                                                                                                                                                                               on the attributes I was looking for in a
                                                                                                                                                                                                                     an engaged colleague. Then again, I’ve                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 partner and created a collage on the inside
                                                                                                              social phobia and stress — not just dating.          shoot him down in seconds? That’s the             found plenty of creeps in regular places like                                                                                                                                                                                                                          of my wardrobe with images and words re-
                                                                                                                 “Essentially, it’s about building up your         stereotype at least.                              bars too.                                          thing about internet dating — you can’t              I’ve also met guys through friends, work and       wrong person. My perfect guy would be                                                                       lating to my ideal man. Every morning
                                                                                                              confidence and making others feel at ease               It doesn’t have to be that way, says rela-        “I’ve met some amazing guys on Maybe-                                                                                                                                                                       LOOK HERE: Georgia Brophy who says she                  while I was getting dressed and putting on
                                                                                                                                                                   tionship consultant Stephen Nolan of Ka-                                                             measure chemistry by email. But it’s a bril-         going out. People ask me all the time why          smart, ambitious and honest. I’ve actually just     has met some amazing guys online, shows off
                                                                                                              with you.”                                                                                             friends. One that I dated for a few months         liant introductory tool.                             I’m still single, which can get annoying.          met someone and though it’s early days,                                                                     my makeup, I’d look at my ‘Wardrobe
                                                                                                                 Whether you’re trying to score a pay rise         malifestyles.com — whose masterclasses in         was smart, good-looking and funny — he                “I don’t think singletons should limit            Anybody can have a boyfriend — I’ve just           hopefully I’ll get a Valentine’s Day card at        her flirting skills.                                    Man’, and I truly believed he was out
                                                                                                              or simply score, the principles are almost           flirting for men promise to transform even        just wasn’t the right guy for me. That’s the       themselves to the internet either though —           don’t want to waste any more years with the        least.”                                             Pictures: Andrew Downes                                 there. In 2009, I went to a holistic retreat
                                                                                                              the same, she says.                                  the most tongue-tied mammy’s boy into a                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  in Italy. On the very first night, I met
                                                                                                                 “It doesn’t matter if it’s your boss or a         real-life Romeo.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Eoin. It was a real eureka moment. We
                                                                                                              love interest — making eye contact is very           “Irish guys aren’t great at chatting girls                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               had gone through almost the same process
                                                                                                              important. Although, you don’t have to               up,” says Nolan. “They tend to either           desperate that if they approach an attractive        instead, that’s a very powerful flirting tool.         Italian and flirty French neighbours, why            don’ts — of that all-important first date                                                               looking for love — and when we com-
                                                                                                              stare them out of it either.                         drink too much, invade her personal space                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         DO: Make eye contact and develop




                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     FLIRTING TIPS
                                                                                                                                                                                                                   woman, they don’t get the hint when to               Try asking a leading question that will                are we pitiful when it comes to seduction?           then? “We always tell male and female                                                                   pared our lists of what we were looking
                                                                                                                 “Try mirroring the other person’s body            or show too much interest straight away.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          a good handshake.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                   leave. My golden rule is to immediately let          draw her in. So even though you said you                  “TV and movies give the impression that           clients to look their best going on a date,”                                                            for in a partner they were almost word for
                                                                                                              language — sitting the same way or using             Most of the time, it’s to do with lack of       the girl know you’re not going to hang               were leaving in a few seconds, hopefully               single people are out there dating all the           she says. “How you’re dressed is a reflec-                                                              word.
                                                                                                                                                                   confidence. In our masterclass, we teach                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          DON’T: Act macho (guys).
                                                                                                                                                                                                                      around like a bad smell.                          you’ll still be there in an hour. And even if          time,” says Anne-Marie Cussen of It’s Just           tion on the respect you have for yourself                                                                  “I knew it was more than a holiday ro-
                                                                                                                                                                   guys how to have the confidence to ap-                  “Start the conversation with some-           she’s taken, she’ll probably be flattered.             Lunch, a dating service for professionals.           and your date.                                                                                          mance. Within four months of meeting,
                                                                                                                                                                   proach anybody anywhere — whether                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 DO: Use the person’s name.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                          thing like: ‘Hi, I only have a minute            Nolan’s biggest tip for Irish guys is that             “But in Ireland, it’s not unusual to marry           “So wear your best ‘knock-him-dead’                                                                  we had moved in and brought our two
                                                                                                                                                                   it’s on the street or in a supermarket. I               because I’m leaving but ... ‘. This          there are opportunities for flirting every-            your first boyfriend or girlfriend. So you           dress and get the hair done. And guys, get                                                              families together. Almost two years on, we
                                                                                                                                                                   met my girlfriend in the queue for the                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            DON’T: Depend on your friends
                                                                                                                                                                                                                           allows the barriers to come down,            where. “Sure, people might think you’re a              have this whole group of middle-aged men             out of your jeans and sloppy t-shirt and                         to do the flirting for you.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            still haven’t had an argument.”
                                                                                                                                                                   Banklink.                                               so already you’re off to a good start.       weirdo if you start chatting to a girl on a            and women whose marriages have ended,                into a smart outfit — and use plenty of                                                                 ■ See www.irishschooloflife.com
                                                                                                                                                                      “In Ireland, it’s not really the done                  “Present yourself well and don’t           bus — but deep down they’re probably                   thrown back on the dating scene with ab-             deodorant.”
                                                                                                                                                                   thing to chat people up outside of bars                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           DO: Pay sincere compliments.
                                                                                                                                                                   or clubs. But I think lads here need to                 drink too much if you’re on the              thinking, ‘Fair play to him’.                          solutely no experience.”                                And remember it’s only a date. “It’s not
                                                                                                                                                                   take a tip from American guys — when                   pull — women won’t be rude to                    “Women don’t spend three hours                         From lessons in flirting to dating agen-          a marriage proposal or a job interview,”                         DON’T: Sexually tease someone
                                                                                                                                                                   a friend of mine was in LA recently,                         you if you’re not drunk.                putting on their makeup just to sit there              cies and hook-up events, Irish singletons            adds Cussen. “Think of it as an opportuni-                       you’re not really interested in.
                                                                                                                                                                   she got hit on a few times a                                        “Lean in to talk to her,         chatting with their friends — they want to             are increasingly calling on real-life Cupids         ty to get there and have fun — and maybe
                                                                                                                                                                   day, which she says would                                         but don’t sit on top of her        be chatted up. And once you have the                   to help source their soulmate.                       even find romance.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      shoulder so that she’s un-        confidence to approach her, you’re going                  “While the recession has hit many Irish              “Although we have had a few marriages                         DO: Put bad relationships behind




                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     DATING TIPS
                                                                                                                                                                   never happen here.                                                  comfortable. Refrain             to be successful.”                                     businesses badly, the dating industry here is        and even some ‘It’s Just Lunch’ babies.”                         you and start afresh.
                                                                                                                                                                      “Flirting is a numbers                                            from grilling her with a           Having brushed up on your                            thriving,” says Cussen, whose agency sets              If it’s wedding bells and nappies you’ve
                                                                                                                                                                   game,” says Nolan. “That                                              million questions:             flirting skills, you may want to                         compatible clients up on daytime blind             got in mind however, the Knock Marriage                          DON’T: Go on a first date ex-
                                                                                                                                                                   said, if a girl has been                                              ‘What’s your name?             put your pulling power to the                             dates.                                            Bureau may still be your best bet.                               pecting to meet your life partner.
                                                                                                                                                                   unsuccessfully chatted                                                 What do you do?               test on the singles scene.                                     “Single people are still as anxious as          Now in its 44th year, the Catholic intro-
                                                                                                                                                                   up by 20 guys in a row                                                 Where are you from?’             But in a country where ‘Fan-                             ever to find that special person in their       duction service was contacted by 250 love-                       DO: Be proactive — join a club,
                                                                                                                                                                   — she’s probably not                                                     “If you can flip the        cy a shift?’ is seen as a perfectly                          lives — especially around Valentine’s          less lads and lassies across the country last                    volunteer or take up sport.
                                                                                                                                                                   going to entertain                                                     script and get the            acceptable romantic overture,                                Day. We take on around 70 new                  year alone. And even in an era of speed
                                                                                                                                                                   number 21.                                                             other person to start         are we doomed when it comes to                              clients every month.”                           dating and online liaisons, the                                  DON’T: Raise conversation
                                                                                                                                                                      “A lot of guys are so                                               asking you questions          dating? And unlike our libidinous                            So what are the dos — and definite             old-fashioned spouse-seeking service boasts                      killers like religion, exes or other
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    13 marriages in as many months.                                  people you’re dating.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       “There was a time when speaking of the
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                    Knock Marriage Bureau was a no-no,” says                         DO: Keep the first date simple
                                                                                                                                                          EYE CATCHER: There’s                                                             SHY GUYS: Relationship                                                                             SECOND CHANCE: There                  spokesperson Canon Joseph Cooney. “It                            and split the bill.
                                                                                                                                                          more to flirting than                                                            consultant Stephen Nolan                                                                           are many middle-aged Irish            was seen as a haven for no-hopers. But
                                                                                                                                                          fluttering your eyelashes,                                                       says Irish guys aren’t                                                                             people with no experience             now it’s very acceptable to use it.”                             DON’T: Hesitate to get up and
                                                                                                                                                          says hypnotherapist Katie                                                        great at chatting girls up                                                                         of dating, says Anne-Marie               Maybe Cupid has some competition                              leave if your date becomes drunk,
                                                                                                                                                          Jane Goldin.                                                                     due to lack of confidence.                                                                         Cussen of It’s Just Lunch.            after all.                                                       rude or embarrassing.




                                                                                                              Feelgood                                                                                                                                                                                 FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011
TERAPROOF:User:margaretjenningsDate:09/02/2011Time:15:58:16Edition:11/02/2011FeelgoodXH1102Page:10   Zone:XH




                                                                                                               10                    Food survey
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             XH - V1




                                                                                                               Shelf love
                                                                                                               As Valentine’s Day falls on Monday we
                                                                                                               look at time saving readymade meals

                                                                                                               T         HERE is only so much you can say
                                                                                                                         with a bunch of flowers on February
                                                                                                                         14. But pick the right food, and you
                                                                                                               and your loved one will immediately connect.
                                                                                                                 For those with a busy work schedule, some-
                                                                                                               thing quick and easy, but a little luxurious, is a                  Roz Crowley
                                                                                                               good compromise.
                                                                                                                 Traditionally, Valentine’s Day is associated
                                                                                                               with seasonal venison, and venison steaks and
                                                                                                               burgers are delicious for a quick meal. Serve it     is good and add some chilli if you like heat.
                                                                                                               with a green salad, sprinkled with                      A simple, stir-fried vegetable and prawn or mussel
                                                                                                               pomegranate. Halve the pomegranate and tap           dish with noodles is quick and easy, too. Use all
                                                                                                               out the seeds, scooping out the stubborn ones        your favourite vegetables cut into matchsticks. They
                                                                                                               with the handle of a spoon. The bitter sweet-        will cook as quickly as the seafood. Add cooked
                                                                                                               ness of the seeds are a good foil for the rich       noodles to warm up with some soy or hoi sin sauce.
                                                                                                               meat.                                                Taste and add a little honey, if it needs some sweet-
                                                                                                                 Use olive or sunflower oil, mixed with bal-        ness.
                                                                                                               samic vinegar, for this dressing.                       With romance and not cooking in mind, many of
                                                                                                                 If you have time, over the weekend, try            you will reach for something from the shelves on
                                                                                                               Asian shops for pomegranate molasses and add         the way home from work. To make it easier for you
                                                                                                               a tablespoon to the frying pan, with a splash of     to choose, we looked at the greatest variety for this
                                                                                                               water, to make an easy gravy. This is good for       survey, from the lightest sushi to the heaviest,
                                                                                                               pork and lamb chops, too. A little grated garlic     heartiest stew. Here are our findings:                                                                           Picture: Getty Images




                                                                                                                        Nash 2 Go lamb Korma, 700g                  Aldi Oakhurst signature beef                    Lidl deluxe roast half-duck with            SuperValu Irish chicken and mush-
                                                                                                                         10.50                                      casserole, 500g 3.49                            pancakes, 600g 6.99                         room pie, 1kg 5.99

                                                                                                                 A rich, dark orange colour, this ready-            Two frozen pouches contain tender,              Half a cooked duck, from Silver Hill        There is more than enough for two
                                                                                                                 made, fully-cooked lamb dish from the              tasty beef cooked with smoked ham.              Foods, in Co Monaghan, comes with 10        adults with this large, family-size meal. It
                                                                                                                 Cork city outlet has plenty of large               This gives it a richness, along with            light pancakes and a package of sweet,      comprises 21% chicken and 5% mush-
                                                                                                                 chunks of lean meat and fresh spices               mushrooms and red wine, nicely re-              hoi sin sauce. The duck (which is deli-     rooms, in a sauce topped with creamy,
                                                                                                                 bathed in a sauce of coconut milk, yo-             duced with pearl onions and shallots.           cious cold, too) can be heated in the       mashed potato. The chicken has flavour
                                                                                                                 ghurt and tomatoes. The result is a gen-           The taste is rich and meaty. Heats in the       oven for 20 minutes and the pancakes        and texture, but the sauce has the harsh-
                                                                                                                 uine Korma, lively and interesting. It can         bag, or in a saucepan, while rice or            steamed or microwaved. The duckling is      ness of cheap wine. The potato topping
                                                                                                                 be heated in a saucepan on the hob,                potatoes are cooking. Creamy mash, or           nicely seasoned and the hoi sin sauce is    is creamy and crisps up well. With 9.5g
                                                                                                                 while rice is cooking, but it’s also deli-         potatoes in their skins, are ideal to soak      nicely plummy. Served with a winter sal-    fat in a 250g portion, a quarter of the
                                                                                                                 cious with crusty bread for a really in-           up the juices. Servings are generous            ad of grated or finely-sliced raw beet-     carton, the low-fat chicken is offset by
                                                                                                                 stant supper. Good                                 and could stretch                               root, carrot, white turnip, chopped broc-   the sauce. Salt is
                                                                                                                 value, there is                                    to more than two.                               coli or other                               high, at 1.5g per
                                                                                                                 plenty for two                                     Excellent value                                 greens, this is a                           250g. With veg-
                                                                                                                 in this size.                                      and a useful                                    delicious feast                             etables, could
                                                                                                                 Delicious.                                         standby.                                        for two.                                    be a pleasant
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                meal.
                                                                                                                 Score: 9                                           Score: 8.75                                     Score: 8.5
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Score: 5




                                                                                                                Tesco finest classic Steak Diane,                   Dashi sushi,    8.50                            Marks & Spencer Chinese favourites,         Dunnes salmon en croute, 300g                4.
                                                                                                                450g 6.59                                                                                           1.37kg 14.99
                                                                                                                                                                    This new takeaway on Cook Street,                                                           Two parcels of fresh salmon with a
                                                                                                                Named after the Roman goddess of                    Cork, also has tables to eat in. It pro-        In a case-style cardboard box, we find      cheese and chive sauce wrapped in a
                                                                                                                the hunt, traditionally Steak Diane was             vides quite a few choices and combina-          all sorts of treats in plastic trays: 22%   light, puff pastry. Both are cooked in a
                                                                                                                made from fillet steak, fried and served            tions. This selection of eight sushi            egg fried rice, 18% sweet and sour chick-   hot oven, 25-30 minutes, to crisp up the
                                                                                                                with mushrooms and cream, cooked in                 pieces comes with fillings of avocado,          en, 18% beef and black bean, 17% bat-       pastry. The result was light and crisp.
                                                                                                                the leftover juices of the fried meat. The          prawn, crab, smoked salmon. There are           tered chicken pieces with sweet chilli      However, 43% pastry and 34% salmon is
                                                                                                                beef in this pack is not fillet steak, but is       cooked and non-fish choices, too. In the        sauce, 14% vegetable chow mein, 10%         balanced too much in favour of pastry,
                                                                                                                tender and tasty, probably cooked slow-             reusable, snap-shut box is a blob of            vegetable spring rolls. They can be         and while enough for small appetites,
                                                                                                                er than frying to ensure its moist tex-             wasabi, for those who like it hot, and          warmed in the oven for 25 minutes.          the salmon is a little sparse. The cream
                                                                                                                ture. A soft, smooth blend that is not              soy sauce for dipping. The selection            While there was nothing wrong with the      cheese and chive sauce is not noticeable
                                                                                                                too heavy, but is a satisfying mouthful.            makes a lovely, light meal or starter.          food, and there was                         when cooked, but it keeps the fish
                                                                                                                Heat in the oven or microwave, but                  The eight pieces are enough for two             plenty of it, tasters                       moist. Quite pleasant for the
                                                                                                                could also be heated                                as a starter, or                                were disap-                                 price, but needs
                                                                                                                over low heat on                                    one for main                                    pointed that,                               lots of vegeta-
                                                                                                                the hob. Fair val-                                  course. Satisfy-                                there was noth-                             bles on the side
                                                                                                                ue; good product.                                   ing mouthfuls.                                  ing special. Not                            to add satisfac-
                                                                                                                                                                    Healthy, too.                                   over-salted.                                tion.
                                                                                                                Score: 8
                                                                                                                                                                    Score: 8.25                                     Score: 6                                    Score: 5.5




                                                                                                               Feelgood                                                                         FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011
TERAPROOF:User:margaretjenningsDate:09/02/2011Time:15:53:43Edition:11/02/2011FeelgoodXH1102Page:11   Zone:XH




                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Lessxxxxxxxx
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             is more                                        11
                                                                                                               XH - V1




                                                                                                               It’s the economy,
                                                                                                               CUPID                                                                                   Celebrate your love without breaking the
                                                                                                                                                                                                       bank, says Helen O’Callaghan


                                                                                                               I      N these cash-strapped times, Valentine’s
                                                                                                                      Day can be hard on your purse. It’s big
                                                                                                                      business after all. Andrew Cummins,
                                                                                                               Restaurant Association of Ireland chief exec-
                                                                                                               utive, estimates Valentine’s Day is worth
                                                                                                                 7.5 million to the industry here. In Britain,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      11 If the rain stays away, Franc suggests
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      driving to the nearest beach, gathering some
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      stones, building a fire, wrapping up in coats
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      and duvets and watching the starry night.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      “Toast marshmallows over the fire and listen
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      to the sounds of crashing waves.”
                                                                                                               a National Love Report conducted by Hall-
                                                                                                               mark found eight out of 10 people surveyed                                                                                                             12 Write little notes about what your part-
                                                                                                               would be sending at least one Valentine card                                                                                                           ner means to you, suggests Franc. Hide them
                                                                                                               this year, with figures comparable in Ireland.                                                                                                         around the house. Add a riddle at the end of
                                                                                                                 But how can you be romantic without go-                                                                                                              each about where to find the next one. At
                                                                                                               ing broke? How can you save money without                                                                                                              the last note, have something special waiting
                                                                                                               being a cheapskate and still score 10 out of                                                                                                           — you, in a candlelit bathroom, soaking in
                                                                                                               10 for romance? Here are 20 inexpensive,                                                                                                               bubbles with some bottles on ice in the sink.
                                                                                                               cheerful and romantic ways to make the most
                                                                                                               of Valentine’s Day.                                                                                                                                    13 Make
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      your part-
                                                                                                               1 Make your own Valentine card and, in-                                                                                                                ner’s
                                                                                                               stead of a verse, list some things you really                                                                                                          favourite
                                                                                                               love about your partner. TV psychologist An-                                                                                                           breakfast and
                                                                                                               jula Mutanda says a Valentine’s card makes                                                                                                             serve it to
                                                                                                               the receiver feel special. “It mimics the emo-                                                                                                         them in bed.
                                                                                                               tions of the early stages of love — excite-                                                                                                            Include ro-
                                                                                                               ment, intimacy, hope and bags of positive en-                                                                                                          mantic foods
                                                                                                               ergy. All these feelings boost mood, making                                                                                                            like figs,
                                                                                                               us feel good about ourselves.”                                                                                                                         strawberries
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      or cherries
                                                                                                               2 Proclaim your love openly on Facebook,                                                                                                               covered in dark chocolate.
                                                                                                               recommends wedding planner Rosemarie
                                                                                                               Meleady. “Write a nice message on her Face-                                                                                                            14 Download from your phone or digital
                                                                                                               book page on Valentine’s morning so all her                                                                                                            camera photos of your partner that he doesn’t
                                                                                                               friends know how much you love her and                                                                                                                 even know you’ve taken. Make a montage of
                                                                                                               why.”                                                                                                                                                  them or put them in an inexpensive frame,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      suggests Meleady. Alternatively, sit down to-
                                                                                                               3 Going for coffee is the new dating trend,                                                                                                            gether and watch a slide show of the photos
                                                                                                                     with a recent survey by dating agency                                                                                                            on your computer. Enjoy the sweet memo-
                                                                                                                                     Parship finding it’s how                                                                                                         ries.
                                                                                                                                       singles, on a first date,
                                                                                                                                         like to get acquainted                                                                                                       15 Pick household chores your partner
                                                                                                                                             with each other. So                                                                                                      usually does. Surprise them by doing them
                                                                                                                                              — even if you’re
                                                                                                                                              married with kids
                                                                                                                                              — make believe
                                                                                                                                                                              Write a message on your loved                                                           before they get a chance (cooking/clean-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      ing/ironing).
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        “It doesn’t sound romantic, but the thought
                                                                                                                                            it’s your first date,
                                                                                                                                       find yourself a cosy
                                                                                                                                                                         one’s Facebook page on Valentine’s                                                           will certainly count,” says Barry.
                                                                                                               café and make sure your cappuccinos have lit-
                                                                                                               tle frothy milk-and-choc heart shapes on top.
                                                                                                                                                                           Day or if you are single try online                                                        16 Plant a small tree together as a statement
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      that you’re in this for the long-term.
                                                                                                               4 Been irritable with your partner recently?                 dating to meet some new people                                                            17 Get the kids to bed early, advises Franc.
                                                                                                               On Valentine’s Day, decide to think well of                                                                                                            “Dress up and wine and dine in the best
                                                                                                               your partner. “When you think positively,                                                                                                              restaurant in town — your own home.
                                                                                                               something happens in your brain,” says Lisa                                                                                                              The best part of this evening — after
                                                                                                               O’Hara, counsellor with the Marriage Rela-           memory of your time together on each. In-      ner a CD featuring songs that remind you of        you’ve had a sumptuous dinner and a snuggle
                                                                                                               tionship Counselling Service. “You soften.           clude as much detail as you can. Present the   each other or of events enjoyed together. Re-      on the couch watching a movie — is that
                                                                                                               You’re more likely to smile. Your partner            ‘memories’ to your partner in a box decorat-   name each of the songs so the titles resonate      you can then do what you can’t do in any
                                                                                                               finds you more approachable. You open                ed with a bow.                                 personally.                                        other restaurant... I guarantee one of the best
                                                                                                               yourself to closeness again.”                                                                                                                          dining experiences ever.”
                                                                                                                                                                    7 Find a romantic novel,                                      10So you are single on Valen-
                                                                                                               5 “Don’t feel sad if you don’t have anyone           book of short stories or poetry                               tine’s Day? Start setting up        18 Present your partner with IOU
                                                                                                               to share Valentine’s Day with — you always           and take turns reading aloud to                               some dates for yourself. “Try       coupons: I will make dinner, I will do the
                                                                                                               have you,” says Peter Kelly, aka Franc of            each other.                                                   online dating,” says Gráinne        laundry, I will clean the kitchen for a week.
                                                                                                               Weddings by Franc. “Pamper yourself with a                                                                         Barry, CEO of www.another-
                                                                                                               candlelit bubble bath, shake up a cocktail or        8 Consider what your partner                                  friend.com.                         19 Make Valentine muffins together and
                                                                                                               two, prepare your favourite meal, rent out           might enjoy and give him that.                                   “It’s the cheapest way to find   decorate with a romantic message to your
                                                                                                               your favourite film. Plan for Valentine’s Day        “If it’s half an hour to himself                              a date. For 25 you’ve got a         loved one. For recipe ideas visit
                                                                                                               now — you will find yourself looking for-            in the evening — when you                                     month’s worth of dating             www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes. We particularly
                                                                                                               ward to your special treats — your quality           might prefer to talk — give                                   prospects.                          like the Valentine muffins.
                                                                                                               time with yourself.”                                 him that half hour,” says                                        When you sign up within
                                                                                                                                                                    O’Hara.                                                       24 hours you’ll have met 10         20 Leave a message on your partner’s
                                                                                                               6 Make a memory box. Take half a dozen                                                                             new people whom you can             voicemail, telling them how much they mean
                                                                                                               pieces of card and write down a favourite            9 Meleady recommends making your part-         prospectively date.”                               to you.




                                                                                                               Feelgood                                                                           FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011
TERAPROOF:User:margaretjenningsDate:09/02/2011Time:16:08:13Edition:11/02/2011FeelgoodXH1102Page:12   Zone:XH




                                                                                                               12                     Beauty                                                                                                                                                                     XH - V1




                                                                                                               For a classic treat this Valentine’s, everything’s coming up roses                                                                                                The news on ...
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         BODY MOISTURISER




                                                                                                                                                               Scent with love
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         I’m a big fan of L’Occitane’s Shea Butters,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           12.50, and they’re especially good in
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         winter. Containing over 95% shea butter,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         they’re about as pure as you can get in
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         terms of thorough moisturising.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            But, it’s hard to get excited about plain
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         old shea butter, as wonderful as it is.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            In an effort to jazz things up a bit, L’Occ-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         itane have now released limited edition
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         shea butters in three scents —
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Vineyard Rose, Or-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         ange Honey and
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Apricot Flower.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         Yay.



                                                                                                                      Emily O’Sullivan
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 TAKE THREE
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          PRETTY PINK PALETTES

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          WELL, there’s only one colour to be wear-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          ing this Valentine’s Day, and that’s pink.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Thankfully, there are lots of pink palettes
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          around that help you get the look without




                                                                                                               J
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          being all Barbara Cartland about it. Go for
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          palettes that include colours such as
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          chocolate, for a pink-inspired smoky eye.
                                                                                                                         UST because the big day of love is
                                                                                                                        looming large doesn’t mean you have                                                                                                               Clinique Limited Edition Milly Pret-
                                                                                                                        to get involved with overpriced                                                                                                                   ty in Prints Palette, 34. This collabo-
                                                                                                               menus and fluffy teddies (what does a grown                                                                                                                ration between fashion brand Milly and
                                                                                                               woman want with a fluffy teddy anyway?).                                                                                                                   Clinique has resulted in a lovely palette
                                                                                                               You can always stay in and indulge in a few                                                                                                                adorned with a silver print and housed
                                                                                                               lovely little treats of your own.                                                                                                                          within a boldly-patterned
                                                                                                                  I’m not totally averse to symbols of love                                                                                                               pouch. The palette itself is
                                                                                                               and one of them that fits quite nicely into the                                                                                                            soft and flattering, with an
                                                                                                               beauty side of things is the rose.                                                                                               Picture: Getty Images     eyeshadow quad and a
                                                                                                                  Traditionally, the rose is the flower of love,                                                                                                          pretty blush.
                                                                                                               as you might guess from Shakespeare prattling
                                                                                                               on about it rather a lot in his sonnets. And                                                                                                               Giorgio Sheer
                                                                                                               while it does have quite a distinctive scent                                                                                                               Translucent Blush,
                                                                                                               and is usually adopted by the kind of beauty        some great rose products for body and face,         with dry or mature skin.                             35.50. The title of this
                                                                                                               company that is partial to florid floral packag-    including the Wild Rose Body Elixir,                  And if you’re in the mood for stepping up        gives the impression that you’ll be wear-
                                                                                                               ing, rose-based products can have a strong ap-        32.82, the radiance-boosting Wild Rose            the rose theme, then the way to go is a fra-       ing next to nothing on the skin, when, in
                                                                                                               peal beyond the blue-rinse brigade.                 Beauty Elixir, 50.95, and the Rose Formula          grance. Rose has traditionally been a bit on       fact, this very light blush palette gives a
                                                                                                                  If you’re after a more modern appreciation       Hydrating Eye Cream, 26.35.                         the dowdy side, so amp up the cool factor          pretty lift to the cheeks.
                                                                                                               of the rose, then there are two things you can        Trilogy is a skincare company founded in          with Paul Smith Rose or Stella McCartney
                                                                                                               do. First, look for it as an ingredient rather      2002 and one of their star products is the          Rose Absolute — both use concentrated rose         Bobbi Brown Pretty Face Palette,
                                                                                                               than as a prominent scent. Second, if you are       100% certified organic Rosehip Oil, 19.95.          extracts with a modern effect.                        50. If you’re after a good, pink palette
                                                                                                               going for it as a scent, look to fashion-based      In clinical trials, this product scored 10 out of     For those who want to really want to go all      for spring, then this is all you’ll need. It’s
                                                                                                               fragrance brands for a cooler interpretation.       10 on scars and stretch marks, so it’s ideal for    out, there’s Annick Goutal’s awesome Grand         very well-stocked, and while it might be a
                                                                                                                  The rose has come on leaps and bounds as         pregnant women.                                     Amour — it’s a scent inspired by the “serene       little on the pricey
                                                                                                               an ingredient in beauty products and is now a         If you’re looking for real skin indulgence,       passion Annick experienced with her hus-           side — it’s worth it
                                                                                                               highly regarded component of skin creams            then my current favourite is the sumptuous          band, the cellist Alain Meunier, who would         for all that’s con-
                                                                                                               and serums. Natural-oriented beauty compa-          Aromessence Rose D’Orient Night Balm                bring her a bouquet of white flowers every         tained within —
                                                                                                               nies, such as Neal’s Yard, have long been fans      from Decléor. Smooth this on at night, and          week”.                                             blush, eyeshadows
                                                                                                               of the rose whose pedigree is thought to date       you’ll wake up with baby-soft skin in the             It has only a hint of Turkish rose, but it       and lovely lipgloss-
                                                                                                               back to Egyptian times. They’ve now got             morning. It’s particularly lovely for those         certainly packs an amorous punch.                  es.



                                                                                                                         STUFF WE LIKE
                                                                                                               Trilogy Organic Rosehip Oil, 19.95.                 Ila Face Oil, 66.20 from lovelula.co.uk.            Annick Goutal Grand Amour eau de                 pink bloom”, this scent was inspired by a
                                                                                                               This multi-tasking gem is great at treating         It’s been described as a “little miracle”, and      parfum, 125. What a scent, what a bot-           rose London-based designer Paul Smith
                                                                                                               stretch marks and scars, but it’s also a good       while we’re loathe to give it supernatural          tle! If strong, statement-making scents are      gave his wife for her birthday. There’s Turk-
                                                                                                               one for smoothing over the skin at night for        status, it does have a lovely effect on the         your thing then this is the first in the         ish rose oil and green tea here, as well as
                                                                                                               a more intense moisture boost. And if you           skin. It’s expensive, but it uses the essential     queue. Go for the beautiful butterfly bottle     violet and magnolia flowers.
                                                                                                               want a more velvety look to your founda-            oil of rose damascena, which is renowned            and enjoy the mix of carnal flowers within.
                                                                                                                    tion, then mix a little of this into it.       for its regenerative qualities. Lovely.                                                              Neal’s Yard Wild Rose Body Elixir,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Decléor Aromessence Rose D’Orient                  32.82. This new body treatment from
                                                                                                                    Balm Balm Rose Organic Hand                     REN Moroccan Rose Otto Ultra-Mois-                 Night Balm, 47.99. If your skin is suffer-       Neal’s Yard is already proving a hit thanks
                                                                                                                     Balm, 7.22 from lovelula.co.uk.                ture Body Oil, 49. REN’s Rose Otto                 ing from the usual February angst,               to its luxurious fragrance and
                                                                                                                     Hands get it rough during the                  Bath Oil has been a favoured prod-                  then this is a good way of in-                   great moisturising qualities. It’s
                                                                                                                     winter, and crocodile-like skin                uct in our bathroom for quite some                  jecting a bit of love back into it.              enriched with wild rosehip oil,
                                                                                                                      isn’t particularly romantic. Espe-            time now, Valentine’s Day or no                     It softens and smoothes, as                      with antioxidant acai (rich in
                                                                                                                      cially if you’re planning to hold             Valentine’s Day, but this body oil is                well as nourishing and mois-                    omegas 6 and 9), cocoa butter
                                                                                                                      the hands of another. This is al-             coming a close second. Exuding                        turising.                                      and Brazil nut oil.
                                                                                                                      so a great balm to help your                  the same exceptional soft exotic
                                                                                                                      mitts through the last of win-                scent, it’s marvellous at softening                  Paul Smith Rose Eau de
                                                                                                                      ter’s harsh weather.                          the skin leaving you ready for ro-                   Parfum, 38. Described as a
                                                                                                                                                                    mance.                                               “potently fragrant, cochineal


                                                                                                               Feelgood                                                                           FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011
TERAPROOF:User:margaretjenningsDate:09/02/2011Time:16:04:03Edition:11/02/2011FeelgoodXH1102Page:13   Zone:XH




                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             13
                                                                                                               XH - V1

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       Male health

                                                                                                               Tommy gets
                                                                                                               back in form
                                                                                                               T         OMMY O’NEILL is one of Fair
                                                                                                                         City’s core actors, having played De-
                                                                                                                         tective John Deegan on the popular
                                                                                                               soap opera for the last number of years. Yet
                                                                                                               he also lives with back pain, which originated
                                                                                                               in a car crash 30 years ago.
                                                                                                                                                                          Deirdre O'Flynn
                                                                                                                  “I’ve gone through everything to tackle
                                                                                                               back pain,” says O’Neill, 57, who has also ap-
                                                                                                                                                                          MOSTLY MEN
                                                                                                               peared in The Tudors, Veronica Guerin, The
                                                                                                               General, The Boxer, Ballykissangel, and The
                                                                                                               Riddle alongside Vinnie Jones.
                                                                                                                  “Sometimes, the pain would have been            they would know what to do if a patient still
                                                                                                               very bad, other times, it was just a niggle, but   complained of pain after treatment. Wex-
                                                                                                               I’ve also been depressed with it, and at times     ford-based Tommy O’Neill has found greatest        MOVEMENT MEDICINE: Fair City actor Tommy O’Neill follows the moves of somatic
                                                                                                               was not able to work because the pain was so       relief through working with his osteopath          movement practitioner Tara Dowling at the Psalm Centre. Picture: Patrick Browne
                                                                                                               bad.”                                              and through somatic movement, which he
                                                                                                                  Chronic pain affects almost 400,000 people      now endorses.
                                                                                                               in Ireland with a two-year waiting list for di-      “I was put in touch with somatic move-
                                                                                                               agnosis and treatment. In 2010, a survey of        ment educator Tara Dowling and I found
                                                                                                               over 2,000 chronic pain sufferers across 15        that the stretching exercises really get in        lent of the slow food movement. It is a series    and shoulder pain, sciatica, insomnia, muscu-
                                                                                                               European countries — 101 of whom were in           there,” says O’Neill. “They make sense and I       of gentle movements and exercises that edu-       lar pain and tension and the aches and pains
                                                                                                               Ireland — found that 42% believe others, in-       have found them a great help. Over the years,      cate the body’s neuro-muscular system and         of ageing.
                                                                                                               cluding employers and peers, doubt the exis-       I have learned to live with the pain and to do     allows for more ease and freedom of move-            “For me, it’s a matter of looking at every-
                                                                                                               tence of their pain.                               something to alleviate it as soon as it appears.   ment in the body. It works by focusing your       thing differently and finding something that
                                                                                                                  The Pain Proposal European Consensus re-        I do a lot of sport and mountain walking, so       mind on the body while moving slowly, and         works,” says O’Neill.
                                                                                                               port also found that 25% of people with            something often triggers the pain. I get my        leads to a sequential unwinding of long-term
                                                                                                               chronic pain have been accused of using pain       osteopath to re-align my back and do the so-       holding patterns, which leads to freer move-      ■ To find out more about somatic move-
                                                                                                               as an excuse not to work. Less than half of        matic exercises to keep it good.”                  ment. As such, it can be useful in the treat-     ment education, contact Tara Dowling at 086
                                                                                                               over 100 GPs surveyed here were confident            Somatic movement is the exercise-equiva-         ment of lower back pain, headaches, neck          829 7703 or email somatara@live.ie


                                                                                                               Trinity leads the way in New prostate clinic at                                                                                                                   DId you know...
                                                                                                               lung cancer research     Waterford hospital                                                                                                             Alcoholism is linked to
                                                                                                               RESEARCH into lung cancer
                                                                                                               that could help develop new
                                                                                                                                                   enzymes that regulate blood
                                                                                                                                                   clotting are involved in lung
                                                                                                                                                                                          A RAPID Access Prostate Clinic
                                                                                                                                                                                          was recently opened at Water-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                be delivered. “The suite consists
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                of an ultrasound room, a dedi-         later marriage and
                                                                                                               treatments and increase sur-
                                                                                                               vival for patients is being con-
                                                                                                                                                   cancer.
                                                                                                                                                      The researchers believe the
                                                                                                                                                                                          ford Regional Hospital (WRH)
                                                                                                                                                                                          by Dr Frank Dolphin, pictured,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                cated private area for pre and
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                post biopsy patients, toilet facili-   earlier separation
                                                                                                               ducted in Ireland by Professor      development and progression            chairman of the board of the          ties and a decontamination
                                                                                                               Ken O’Byrne and his team at         of lung cancer is linked to            HSE.                                  unit,” says Dr Dolphin.                (Source: Cardiff University, Wales)
                                                                                                               St James’s Hospital and Trinity     blood clotting pathways and               Recent reconstruction works           “While waiting for the rapid
                                                                                                               College Dublin.                     new blood vessel formation.            at the ultra sound                           access prostate service to
                                                                                                                 The Thoracic Oncology Re-            Lung cancer patients are 20         suite in WRH (which                          commence, the suite will
                                                                                                               search group has established        times more likely to experi-           is the South East Re-                        be used for patients who
                                                                                                               Ireland’s first lung cancer         ence a blood clot than a per-          gional Cancer Centre)                        currently attend for
                                                                                                               bio-bank, comprising more           son who is cancer free.                has facilitated an im-                       prostate biopsies.”
                                                                                                               than 650 samples collected             The group has already seen          proved co-ordination                           Establishing the Rapid
                                                                                                               from lung cancer patients at St     some exciting results, includ-         of patient clinical                          Access Prostate Clinic
                                                                                                               James’s.                            ing the discovery that certain         treatment pathways,                          means there will no
                                                                                                                 Part of the research, which is    enzyme levels are increased in         through which a                              longer be a need to admit
                                                                                                               funded by the Irish Cancer So-      lung cancer tissue, with others        rapid access Prostate                        such patients to a day
                                                                                                               ciety, looks specifically at how    linked to poor survival.               Cancer Service will                          ward bed at WRH.



                                                                                                                         TAKE                  4              with Kate O’Reilly                                                                           Valentine treats
                                                                                                               1       ROMANTIC BREAK: Treat your
                                                                                                                       loved one to a luxurious spa break
                                                                                                                       at the C Spa, Ireland’s only
                                                                                                                       Ayurvedic spa, in Westport, Co
                                                                                                                                                                  2
                                                                                                                                                                        LOVE BREW: Warm your heart with
                                                                                                                                                                        this delicate infusion of sweet floral
                                                                                                                                                                        aromas from Pukka. This blend of or-
                                                                                                                                                                        ganic chamomile, roses and lavender
                                                                                                                                                                                                                     3
                                                                                                                                                                                                                             IN THE MOOO’D: For a natural
                                                                                                                                                                                                                             treat, check out the luxurious Cow-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                             shed range which includes Horny
                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Cow and Wild Cow products. Horny
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       4
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                SWEET TREAT: Oxfam’s Plush Lux-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                ury Chocolate Box contains a selec-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                tion of luxury Fair Trade Belgian
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                dark, milk and white chocolates; —
                                                                                                               Mayo. Former RTÉ presenter Bibi Baskin             is designed to help you feel grounded, re-         Cow Seductive Body Lotion, 19, is a floral,         5 from Oxfam Ireland Fair Trade shops in
                                                                                                               has brought her Indian experience to the           laxed and uplifted. A box                          spicy blend that evokes sensuality and pas-       Cork, Belfast, Galway and Dublin or online
                                                                                                               Carlton Atlantic Coast hotel, where the spa        of 20 teabags costs 2.95                           sion with rose absolute and es-                   at www.oxfamireland.org/fairtrade-shop. Or
                                                                                                               is run by a team of Ayurvedic specialists          from health stores.                                sential oils of patchouli and cinna-              how about giving your sweetheart an alter-
                                                                                                               from Kerala, South India. Treatments at the                                                           mon. Or there’s Bullocks Shav-                    native Valentine’s Gift from Oxfam Un-
                                                                                                               spa include Couples Escape, 159pps. You                                                               ing Cream, 18.95, for a smooth                    wrapped, like a bunch of sunflowers, 20.
                                                                                                               and your partner can relax                                                                            shave. Nelsons Dispensary in                      By growing sunflowers and pressing them
                                                                                                               and unwind together while                                                                             Dublin (mail order 01 – 6790451)                  for oil, people living
                                                                                                               enjoying a warm oil                                                                                   stock the Cowshed range and                       with HIV and AIDS
                                                                                                               Ayurvedic massage. The                                                                                for a Valentine’s treat they also                 can earn an income
                                                                                                               treatment ends with straw-                                                                            suggest the organic cologne                       to put food on the
                                                                                                               berries and a glass of cham-                                                                          Dusk from Organic Grooming,                       table. Your gift
                                                                                                               pagne and also includes                                                                                 29.95. For details of other                     provides the
                                                                                                               B&B and dinner. For details                                                                           Cowshed stockists, see                            seeds and equip-
                                                                                                               of other treatments at C Spa                                                                          www.cowshedonline.com/                            ment.
                                                                                                               call 098-29000 or visit
                                                                                                               www.carlton.ie/atlantic-coast.


                                                                                                               Feelgood                                                                          FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011
TERAPROOF:User:jaycarcioneDate:09/02/2011Time:16:41:01Edition:11/02/2011FeelgoodXH1102Page:14   Zone:XH




                                                                                                           14 Medical matters
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                XH - V3




                                                                                                                                                  Q            I SUFFER with heartburn
                                                                                                                                                               and was told I have a hiatus
                                                                                                                                                               hernia. Will exercise make
                                                                                                                                                               this worse?
                                                                                                                                                  A. No, exercise will not make your hiatus
                                                                                                                                                  hernia worse. However, it can increase acid
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     HEART
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     WARMING:
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     To prevent
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     heartburn,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     avoid
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     chocolate,
                                                                                                                                                  reflux in people who are prone to excess                                                                                           cigarettes
                                                                                                                                                  acid.                                                                                                                              and alcohol.
                                                                                                                                                     Exercise increases the intra-abdominal                                                                                          Picture: iStock
                                                                                                                                                  pressure and forces stomach acid back into
                                                                                                                                                  the oesophagus (gullet). When there is a
                                                                                                             Dr Niamh Houston                     hiatus hernia, part of the stomach slips up,
                                                                                                                                                  or passes (herniates) through the small open-
                                                                                                                                                  ing in the diaphragm that allows your oe-
                                                                                                          FAMILY
                                                                                                                                                  sophagus to pass through on its way to your
                                                                                                                    Dr Niamh Houston is a         stomach. This can allow food and stomach
                                                                                                                    GP with a special             acid back up into your gullet, leading to
                                                                                                                    interest in integrative       heartburn, nausea, belching or chest pain.
                                                                                                                    medicine. If you have a          A small, hiatal hernia doesn’t cause prob-
                                                                                                                    question about your child’s   lems, but a large one can lead to heart burn
                                                                                                                    health email it to            and the above symptoms. It is usually ac-
                                                                                                                    feelgood@examiner.ie          quired, but can be present from birth. Some       hernia can be done via minimally invasive         abuse are just some of the many conditions
                                                                                                                    or send a letter to           people may be able to see a bulge where the       surgery.                                          that can cause falls in the older person.
                                                                                                                    Feelgood                      hernia is present. If you suffer with frequent                                                         Rising from a chair and walking around
                                                                                                                    Irish Examiner                or recurrent symptoms, you may require            Q. My mother is in her 70s and recently           the room requires muscular power, balance,
                                                                                                                    City Quarter                  treatment, which can include                      had a fall at home. She wasn’t seriously          and joint-position sense. Inactivity associated
                                                                                                                    Lapps Quay                    over-the-counter medication or surgery.           injured, but it has affected her confidence.      with osteoarthritis can result in weakness of
                                                                                                                    Cork                             Antacids, such as Maalox, can give quick       We don’t know what caused her fall.               the muscles and loss of balance.
                                                                                                                                                  relief, but, used alone, won’t heal an in-        How can we prevent this happening                    Elderly people should keep active and ex-
                                                                                                                                                  flamed oesophagus. H2 receptor antagonists,       again?                                            ercise as much as possible. Management of
                                                                                                                                                  for example Zantac, reduce acid production,                                                         falls should always include an exercise pro-
                                                                                                                                                  and while they don’t act as quickly as            A. Falls are one of the most common               gramme, such as tai-chi, physical therapy or
                                                                                                                                                  antacids, they provide longer relief. Medica-     health problems experienced by the elderly        other exercises for balance, gait and strength
                                                                                                                                                  tions that block acid and heal the gullet are     and often lead to a loss of independence.         training. Group exercise activities also pro-
                                                                                                                                                  known as PPIs, or proton pump inhibitors.         Falls are more likely to result in serious in-    vide the benefit of regular social contact.
                                                                                                                                                  Stronger ones are available on prescription.      juries, and, given their frequency and conse-        New recommendations of fall risk should
                                                                                                                                                     The weakened stomach muscle tissue that        quences, are as serious a health problem as       also include examination of the feet and
                                                                                                                                                  allows your stomach to bulge up through           heart attacks and strokes. Falls can lead to      footwear. Evaluating the home environment
                                                                                                                                                  your diaphragm can be caused by injury to         loss of self-confidence and reduced quality       can identify factors that place a person at
                                                                                                                                                  the area, or persistent pressure on surround-     of life. The risk of falling and sustaining an    risk of falls: loose rugs/mats, electric leads
                                                                                                                                                  ing muscles — from coughing, vomiting,            injury increases with age and is linked to        trailing on the floor, poor lighting or wet
                                                                                                                                                  lifting heavy objects or straining during a       early admission to long-term care facilities.     surfaces, especially in the bathroom. The in-
                                                                                                                                                  bowel movement.                                     An elderly person with a history of falls       stallation of safety devices, such as handrails
                                                                                                                                                     Lifestyle changes can relieve heart burn       should undergo a multi-factor IAL fall-risk       on stairs, grab bars in bathrooms, can reduce
                                                                                                                                                  caused by a hiatal hernia. Eat several, smaller   assessment, looking at muscle weakness, bal-      the risk of falls. Hip protectors can be bene-
                                                                                                                                                  meals during the day, rather than a few,          ance problems or changes in blood pressure.       ficial, too.
                                                                                                                                                  large meals. Avoid alcohol, smoking, choco-       A physical examination should look at gait,          Cataract surgery should be performed, if
                                                                                                                                                  late, onion, spicy foods, citrus and toma-        mobility, joint function, muscle strength,        necessary. Medication, including sedatives,
                                                                                                                                                  to-based foods. Limit fatty foods and don’t       neurological and cognitive function, cardio-      antidepressants or other drugs affecting the
                                                                                                                                                  lie down after meals. Eat your last meal at       vascular strength, sight and footwear.            central nervous system, should be reduced
                                                                                                                                                  least three hours before bed-time. Lose             The risk of injury in the elderly increases     or withdrawn, if possible. All older adults at
                                                                                                                                                  weight, if needed, and reduce stress in your      due to osteoporosis, osteomalacia, stiff joints   risk of falls should receive a daily vitamin D
                                                                                                                                                  life.                                             and loss of protective, subcutaneous fat. De-     supplement (800iu). The elderly should be
                                                                                                                                                     If extreme pain is present, emergency          mentia, cataracts, heart arrythmias, Parkin-      encouraged to keep active and to exercise as
                                                                                                                                                  surgery may be needed. Repair of hiatal           son’s disease, minor strokes and alcohol          much as possible.


                                                                                                             NOTE: The information contained in Dr Houston’s column is not a substitute for medical advice. Always consult a doctor first



                                                                                                                                              I
                                                                                                                                                  T was time for the offspring of a couple      teria was a prelude to amputation — and
                                                                                                                                                  of city slickers, whose farmyard knowl-       not the upshot of a very slight graze on the
                                                                                                                                                  edge is rooted in the lyrics of Old Mac-      forearm. The wound was a minor skin
                                                                                                                                              Donald, to dip their urbane toes in the mire      break. I had a flash of a future spent in
                                                                                                                                              of agrarian living.                               emergency departments with a son who be-
                                                                                                                                                 With no desire for my child to be the guy
                                                                                                                                              who answers “From Tescos” when teacher
                                                                                                                                                                                                lieved every blow fatal and every illness his
                                                                                                                                                                                                final one.                                                   I want to go
                                                                                                                                              asks where milk comes from, I organised
                                                                                                                                              their pastoral baptism with a friend who
                                                                                                                                                                                                   I directed him back towards the car, tears
                                                                                                                                                                                                flooding our wake and one small arm held              home, he sobbed.
                                                                                                                                              lives in the country.
                                                                                                                                                 All was going swimmingly until Lughaidh
                                                                                                                                                                                                aloft least we mistake the victim for a
                                                                                                                                                                                                healthy individual.                                            I HATE the
                                                                                                                                              lost his footing. Ploughing headlong into a
                                                                                                                                              nasty tangle of briars, a volcano of sobs
                                                                                                                                              erupted sending sheep scuttling and clucking
                                                                                                                                                                                                   We returned to the farmhouse, where,
                                                                                                                                                                                                with the delicacy of a surgeon, we strapped
                                                                                                                                                                                                up the minor abrasion, stemming the tide of
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            countryside.
                                                                                                                                              hens diving for cover. “I want to go home,”
                                                                                                                                              he sobbed. “I HATE the countryside. You
                                                                                                                                                                                                tears with a couple of biscuits, a favourite
                                                                                                                                                                                                TV programme and a promise to bring in
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          You said we’d
                                                                                                                                              said we’d see Tractor Tom. And where are
                                                                                                                                              the S..S..S..Sylvanian Families?”
                                                                                                                                                                                                Bobby the Dog to inspect the wounded sol-
                                                                                                                                                                                                dier.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       see Tractor Tom.
                                                                                                                                                 Trying to rise above the wailing — louder
                                                                                                                                              than any lament alongside a sacred wall in
                                                                                                                                                                                                   Bobby the Dog showed too much promise
                                                                                                                                                                                                for my two-year-old who squealed in terror
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         And where are
                                                                                                                                              Jerusalem — I explained Tractor Tom was
                                                                                                                                              on a road trip with Massey Ferguson and a
                                                                                                                                                                                                at his boisterous nature and refused to leave
                                                                                                                                                                                                the utility room, convinced he was going to                           the
                                                                                                                                              bunch of anthropomorphic dolls posturing
                                                                                                                                              in campervans under the epithet “Sylvanian
                                                                                                                                                                                                eat her. Bobby was brought to heel and
                                                                                                                                                                                                shown the door and order restored, much to            S..S..S..Sylvanian
                                                                                                              Catherine                       Families” was not a true reflection of bucol-
                                                                                                                                              ic living.
                                                                                                                                                                                                my mortification.
                                                                                                                                                                                                   “My kids are a bunch of wimps”, I                            Families?
                                                                                                              Shanahan                           Unimpressed by my explanations he
                                                                                                                                              upped the ante on the weeping until cows
                                                                                                                                                                                                thought to myself, vowing to steer clear of
                                                                                                                                                                                                the countryside until they were old enough
                                                                                                                                              in a neighbouring field took flight and the       to realise that the secret behind a damn fine
                                                                                                                                              bull in their midst mulled over whether to        breakfast of cheese, boiled eggs and
                                                                                                                                              break out and spear him.                          well-buttered bread is the farmer who rises
                                                                                                              MUM’S WORLD                        If anyone, bar animals, had heard him,
                                                                                                                                              they would have presumed the level of hys-
                                                                                                                                                                                                at cockcrow to milk his cows, sow his grain
                                                                                                                                                                                                and feed his hens.


                                                                                                           Feelgood                                                           FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011
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                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                         15
                                                                                                           XH - V2

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Natural health

                                                                                                                                                          Q            I HAVE a verruca on my heel
                                                                                                                                                                      and it’s quite painful and un-
                                                                                                                                                                      comfortable. I don’t want to
                                                                                                                                                                      have it frozen, burned or cut
                                                                                                                                                                      out, so was wondering if there
                                                                                                                                                          are any natural ways to treat this.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               HEALTHY
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               CHOICE:
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               Celery is one
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               of the foods
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               that can help
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               to prevent
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               gout.
                                                                                                                                                          A. A simple home remedy, which is going
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               Picture: Getty
                                                                                                                                                          to sound a bit like an urban myth, is a black-
                                                                                                                                                          ened banana. You tape the inside of a black-                                                                                         Images
                                                                                                                                                          ened banana peel over the verruca each
                                                                                                                     Megan Sheppard                       night before you go to bed and within three
                                                                                                                                                          to five days it will typically fall out. If the
                                                                                                                                                          verruca refuses to budge then add a drop of
                                                                                                                                                          neat oregano essential oil directly on the af-
                                                                                                                        Do you have a question            fected area. If the verruca persists then it’s
                                                                                                                        for Megan Sheppard?               best to get medical advice.
                                                                                                                        Email it to                         You can also use this remedy with warts,
                                                                                                                        feelgood@examiner.ie              and if you are feeling squeamish then just use
                                                                                                                        or send a letter to               the oregano oil by itself — it will take
                                                                                                                        Feelgood                          longer, but eventually works to get rid of the
                                                                                                                        Irish Examiner                    verruca or wart.
                                                                                                                        City Quarter                        In traditional Chinese medicine (TCM),
                                                                                                                        Lapps Quay                        any skin conditions are seen as an outward
                                                                                                                        Cork                              expression of your internal health — there
                                                                                                                                                          are many dermatological conditions which
                                                                                                                                                          have been successfully treated in less than a
                                                                                                                                                          month using acupuncture in particular. A
                                                                                                                                                          good practitioner can read the state of your
                                                                                                                                                          organs through methods such as pulse and
                                                                                                                                                          tongue diagnosis, and it is common for
                                                                                                                                                          herbal remedies and nutritional recommen-
                                                                                                                                                          dations to be a part of the consultation.
                                                                                                                                                          Q. I have suffered with gout for nine
                                                                                                                                                          years and hope you can help. I have been
                                                                                                                                                          to doctors and specialists over the years,
                                                                                                                                                          but it keeps returning no matter what
                                                                                                                                                          tablets they give me.                              salicylates (such as aspirin) can inhibit the       been shown in studies to significantly inhibit
                                                                                                                                                                                                             excretion of uric acid.                             the desire for drinking alcohol. Two of the
                                                                                                                                                          A. Gout is an arthritic condition triggered          Drink plenty of pure water daily — at             active constituents, daidzein and daidzin, are
                                                                                                                                                          by excessive uric acid in the bloodstream.         least two litres — to prevent the formation         responsible for this effect. However, it is im-
                                                                                                                                                          The uric acid crystals travel to the joints,       of kidney stones and help dilute the uric acid      portant to note that this is not a cure for al-
                                                                                                                                                          where they cause pain, inflammation and            in the urine.                                       coholism — it is a valuable support tool
                                                                                                                                                          heat in the area. It is common for gout to           There is a blend of three herbs — water-          when an individual has chosen to take action
                                                                                                                                                          affect one joint at a time, often beginning        cress, speedwell, and wood betony — which           with their alcohol problem.
                                                                                                                                                          with the big toe.                                  a client of mine swears by. Use one teaspoon          Taken before drinking, kudzu typically
                                                                                                                                                             Don’t be surprised if you have a family         of each and brew together with two to three         helps to prevent binge drinking. It will also
                                                                                                                                                          history of gout, this is a condition with a        cups of water and drink this amount daily.          help to minimise the negative effects of alco-
                                                                                                                                                          strong genetic link. More than a quarter of          There are a couple of beneficial foods to         hol when taken afterwards, so is also useful
                                                                                                                                                          all sufferers have reported a family history of    take note of, namely celery, and black cher-        as a hangover remedy.
                                                                                                                                                          gout.                                              ries, since these are thought to specifically         Using kudzu whenever the desire to drink
                                                                                                                                                             The good news is that it can be relatively      help prevent gout. Of course, eating plenty         arises can help with alcohol cravings, and is a
                                                                                                                                                          simple to treat since it is strongly linked with   of any fresh produce is likely to help treat        useful support tool alongside an effective re-
                                                                                                                                                          dietary choices. Avoid purine-rich foods,          and prevent conditions such as gout. As with        covery programme.
                                                                                                                                                          such as organ meats, herring, mackerel,            other arthritic conditions, essential fatty acids     If your husband wishes to use kudzu to re-
                                                                                                                                                          trout, and meat/yeast extracts (Bovril or          are most beneficial — but stick to non-fish         duce the amount of alcohol consumed be-
                                                                                                                                                          Marmite) which break down into uric acid           sources.                                            fore drinking, then ideally he should take
                                                                                                                                                          in the body. Large meals increase the amount       Note: Please consult your doctor before             1000mg (1g) with breakfast, lunch, and din-
                                                                                                                                                          of uric acid in the bloodstream, so eat small      changing your diet or medication.                   ner and the same again the day after drink-
                                                                                                                                                          meals more frequently and avoid purine-rich                                                            ing. Where addiction is being treated
                                                                                                                                                          foods.                                             Q. I have been researching herbal alter-            through abstinence, take 1000mg-2000mg
                                                                                                                                                             You should also steer clear of caffeine and     natives to help my husband with his alco-           twice daily (morning and evening, with
                                                                                                                                                          alcohol, since both of these interfere with        hol problem, and apparently there is a              food) for one month.
                                                                                                                                                          the removal of uric acid from the body via         Chinese herb called kudzu which can stop              You may also want to look into a liver
                                                                                                                                                          the kidneys. Beer is particularly rich in          binge drinking. Can you please tell me if           supporting combination using herbs such as
                                                                                                                                                          purines, so is a definite no-no.                   this is the case, and how much should he            dandelion and milk thistle, which can help
                                                                                                                                                             You should also take note of any medica-        be taking?                                          to regenerate the liver and help greatly with
                                                                                                                                                          tion that you are on, since diuretics and          A. Kudzu, a coarse vine from China, has             recovery.



                                                                                                                                Megan puts the spotlight on:                                                                                             Raw chocolate

                                                                                                                         N
                                                                                                                                EXT to flowers, chocolates        all of the nutrients and antioxidants,      start with their own, whole cacao
                                                                                                                                are the most popular gift of-
                                                                                                                                fered to loved ones on Valen-
                                                                                                                                                                  but, fortunately, there are many raw
                                                                                                                                                                  chocolate options available today.
                                                                                                                                                                                                              beans and grind it down using a mor-
                                                                                                                                                                                                              tar and pestle for a traditional twist.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Combining
                                                                                                                         tine’s Day. While most people agree
                                                                                                                         a box of chocolates is one of the
                                                                                                                                                                     Cacao, in the raw, is one of the
                                                                                                                                                                  richest sources of antioxidants avail-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Most raw chocolate recipes call for
                                                                                                                                                                                                              dates, honey, agave, or some other,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             cacao with sugar,
                                                                                                                         most glorious and decadent treats to
                                                                                                                         share, not many list it as a healthy
                                                                                                                                                                  able. While dark, organic chocolate
                                                                                                                                                                  made with 70% cocoa, or more, is a
                                                                                                                                                                                                              natural sweetener to make the bitter
                                                                                                                                                                                                              cacao more palatable without losing           milk, preservatives
                                                                                                                         or nutritious food.
                                                                                                                            Raw chocolate is a different story.
                                                                                                                                                                  reasonable alternative, if you find it
                                                                                                                                                                  difficult to source raw chocolate, it
                                                                                                                                                                                                              any of the health benefits.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                 One of my favourite raw chocolate             and roasting the
                                                                                                                         Held in high regard by the Aztecs
                                                                                                                         — this “food of the gods” was used
                                                                                                                                                                  pales in comparison to the antioxi-
                                                                                                                                                                  dant-rich, raw chocolate delight.
                                                                                                                                                                                                              books is Naked Chocolate, by David
                                                                                                                                                                                                              Wolfe & Shazzie — it’s packed with               beans, destroys
                                                                                                                         as currency — raw cacao has been            Because raw cacao is naturally bit-      nutritional advice and mouth-water-
                                                                                                                         used as part of celebrations and rit-
                                                                                                                         uals, and for vitality, since ancient
                                                                                                                                                                  ter, it works medicinally to assist with
                                                                                                                                                                  digestion. Indulge your senses by
                                                                                                                                                                                                              ing recipes. Most health food stores
                                                                                                                                                                                                              are now stocking a selection of raw
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               almost all of the
                                                                                                                         times.
                                                                                                                            Obviously, combining cacao with
                                                                                                                                                                  making your own raw chocolate treats
                                                                                                                                                                  using raw cacao powder, cacao butter,
                                                                                                                                                                                                              cacao products, so why not check
                                                                                                                                                                                                              them out and surprise your loved one
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  nutrients and
                                                                                                                         sugar, milk and preservatives, and
                                                                                                                         roasting the beans, destroys almost
                                                                                                                                                                  cacao paste (also called liqor), and ca-
                                                                                                                                                                  cao nibs. Adventurous foodies can
                                                                                                                                                                                                              with some divine, handmade choco-
                                                                                                                                                                                                              late goodness this Valentine’s Day.
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                   antioxidants

                                                                                                           Feelgood                                                                     FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011
TERAPROOF:User:GERARDDESMONDDate:09/02/2011Time:18:11:04Edition:11/02/2011FeelgoodXH1102Page:16   Zone:XH




                                                                                                            16
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             XH - V1




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                                                                                                            Feelgood                                                        FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011

				
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