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Sp nt on
le i t i
ec i n e
Friday, February 11, 2011
Fun ways to attract
true love: 8,9
BODY TALK NIGHT IN CREATIVE GIFTS
Put passion back We survey readymade meals 20 ways to say it on
into your sex life: 4, 5 for couples caught for time: 10 a budget: 11
2 News front
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Kate O’Reilly Around 500 babies are stillborn in Ireland each year. Research
at CUMH is trying to find out why, writes Arlene Harris
■ VALENTINE CLIMB: Climb the aptly
named Cupidstown Hill in Co Kildare
this weekend and join in Ireland to Ever-
est, 32 Steps for Cystic Fibrosis. This
Cystic Fibrosis Association of Ireland
(CFAI) challenge will see a team of
climbers scale the highest points in
each of the 32 counties and some other
parts of the world, before tackling Ever- CTRESS Amanda Holden has advise pregnant women to attend every
est. The aim of this fundraising drive is been left devastated by the still- ante-natal appointment, eat properly and fol-
to establish a National Lung Transplant birth of her baby boy this low their doctors’ advice. If they are con-
Support Fund for Ireland. Members of week. She and her husband, Chris Hughes cerned about their baby’s movement, contact
the public are invited to join the team at had been keeping quiet about her pregnan- a midwife or obstetrician immediately, no
various locations throughout Ireland cy until she reached six months as she had matter what time of day or night.”
and can participate in the easier climbs. suffered a miscarriage last year. Ron Smith-Murphy is the chairperson of
The Valentine climb will begin at noon But tragically just a month after an- A Little Lifetime Foundation, a charity
on Sunday at Cupidstown Hill. For full nouncing the happy news, her “perfectly which supports parents who have experi-
details see www.IrelandtoEverest.com. formed” son was stillborn at seven months’ enced a still birth.
gestation after she was admitted to hospital “I hope that any parent coping with one
■ WALKING WORKSHOP: If you would over concerns that her baby hadn’t kicked of life’s greatest tragedies will find the confi-
like to get the maximum health benefits for a day. dence to seek information and support and
from walking, HSE South is giving a An estimated 500 babies are stillborn in also to spend time with their little one,” says
free workshop in Rosscarbery, Co Cork Ireland each year. Professor Louise Kenny, a Smith-Murphy. “It is a very short time
on Tuesday next, February 15. The consultant obstetrician at Cork University frame to create memories, photographs or
Walking for Health workshop is de- Maternity Hospital and her colleagues are foot/hand prints. And funerals are important
signed for those who would like to in- currently involved in research to try and to acknowledge and obtain something tangi-
crease their activity levels through walk- find out why babies like Holden’s die in ble for the painful times afterwards.
ing and is especially suitable for begin- the womb. “It is a lonely grief and a journey they will
ners. Contact Valerie Murphy on “There are a number of reasons why a be on for the rest of lives but with good
021-4921641 or Valerie.Murphy@hse.ie. baby may be stillborn but the biggest factor BROKEN HEARTED: Amanda Holden’s baby support and love, parents will find a way to
is still unknown. For the most part, the was stillborn at seven months, shortly after navigate their way through. The key to sur-
■ MULTIPLE BIRTHS: On the last Friday death is unexplained and this is what we she announced her good news. Picture:PA Wire viving this ordeal is to find support. Just be-
of every month, from 10am to noon, in are currently researching,” she says. cause their baby is not here does not stop
Brú Columbanus, Wilton, Cork, Noreen “Sometimes there may be a fundamental explains. “There is often no indication and it them being parents.”
and Valerie, mums of twins, offer their problem with the baby that was missed in is very difficult to detect but we do know the
support to parents and expectant par- routine scans, or the mother may have un- rate is slightly higher in older women. We ■ For more information call 01-8726996 or
ents of multiples. Contact Valerie on 087 derlying health problems, but in at least hope our study will reveal something which visit www.alittlelifetime.ie.
2171303 or firstname.lastname@example.org. 50% of the cases, there seems to be no spe- will allow us to predict the problem before it
cific cause. occurs. ■ Author and TV presenter Christy
■ SWIM NIGHT: The Whitebay Christ- “Almost 30% of stillbirths happen close “Stillbirths are still very rare but I would Kenneally speaks about grief at the Clarion
mas Swim Night will take place in the to term or even on the due date,” she Hotel, Cork on February 26 at 2pm
Long Pines Bar, Whitegate, Co Cork at
9pm on Friday next, February 18. Out-
standing sponsorship money this can
be lodged at AIB, Midleton A/C No.
26071033 or Aghada Post Office. You HEALTH NOTES
can contact Cork Simon’s Fundraising
Office on 021-4929410. Parents with young children will welcome a A GOOD RUN: Michael
new e-safety activity booklet, Play and Greene, chairman of CRY
■ AWARE MEETING: The Mallow Aware Learn: Being Online, for four- to (Cardiac Risk in the Young)
support group are now meeting on the eight-year-olds using the internet. Spon- joins broadcaster and
first and third Thursday of each month. sored by Webwise and UPC, the booklet’s
The next meeting will be on Thursday,
athlete Jacqui Hurley as
30-page collection of games and activities
February 17 at 8pm in Le Cheile Family helps parents and teachers to discuss priva-
she launches a national
Resource Centre, Fair Street, Mallow. cy and security. Available in nine lan- appeal to women around
Anyone who suffers from depression or guages, the e-book’s help develop lan- the country to run for CRY
anxiety is welcome to attend. Further guage, maths, social and cultural skills. in this year’s Flora
details from aware.ie and 1890-303302. Visit: www.saferinternet.org women’s mini marathon.
Aware are looking for volunteers to Picture: Robbie Reynolds
train in group facilitation. Contact the RTÉ sports presenter and athlete, Jacqui
co-ordinator Kate Donnelly on 087 Hurley, has launched a national appeal for
2993142 for more details. CRY (Cardiac Risk in the Young) to encour-
age women to run in this year’s Flora wom-
■ ENDOMETRIOSIS MEETING: If you en’s mini marathon on the June bank holiday.
have been diagnosed with endometrio- The charity hopes to attract 1,200 women of
sis and would like to meet other women all ages and to raise 250,000.
who are going through experiences Registration opens on Wednesday, March walk up to two miles per day doing so. were disposed of as part of the campaign.
similar to yours, come along to the next 2. Participants must enter on the official en- For tips on good sleep patterns, visit
support group meeting of the En- try form. Call Lucia on 01-4525482, or www.pampers.ie. The ‘bake for brain injury’ campaign runs
dometriosis Association of Ireland. Part- email email@example.com. CRY supports families from March 7 to 13. The annual fundraiser,
ners, friends and family members are who have lost a relative to sudden cardiac A free service to dispose of unused or developed by ABI Ireland, encourages peo-
also welcome. The meeting will be in death (SCD). out-of-date medicines will be available in ple to bake and donate funds for those liv-
the Carmichael Centre, North Brunswick Cork and Kerry from February 14. The ‘dis- ing with an acquired brain injury.
St, Dublin 7 next Saturday from 2.30pm New research by Pampers has found that pose of unused medicines properly’ (DUMP) An estimated 10,000 people are impacted
to 5pm. More information is available at Irish parents walk up to 3.2 kilometres per campaign will run in participating pharmacies by acquired brain injury (ABI) in Ireland
www.endo.ie, or phone 086-3203855. day lulling their baby back to sleep, or 96 until March 28. each year. Irish rugby players, Denis Leamy
kilometres a month. In a survey of 500 par- The HSE and 240 participating pharmacies and Donncha O’Callaghan, along with for-
■ HEART CLINIC: The Irish Heart Foun- ents, six in ten cited lack of sleep as the are encouraging people to return unwanted mer Leinster and Ireland players, John Fog-
dation will hold a free blood pressure most stressful part of parenting, with seven or out-of-date medicines for safe disposal. arty and Bernard Jackman, are supporting
and cholesterol testing clinic at the in ten saying their baby wakes one to three Unused medicine can lead to accidental poi- the campaign, and their former colleagues,
Family Resource Centre Farranree, Cork, times each night. Forty-two percent of par- soning, inappropriate sharing and overdose by putting on an apron and baking for brain
next Wednesday from 2.30pm to 4pm. ents bring their baby out in a buggy to get suicide attempts. Last year, more than 260 injury.
Please email:firstname.lastname@example.org them to sleep, and 94% of these parents bins, containing 3.5 tonnes of medicines, For details, visit www.abiireland.ie.
FeelgoodMag FeelgoodMag www.irishexaminer.com
www.irishexaminer.com Editorial: 021 4802 292 Advertising: 021 4802 215
Feelgood FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011
In profile 3
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THE SHAPE I'M IN Una Crawford O’Brien
Girls aloud GIFT
U NA Crawford O’Brien stars alongside Adele
King and Flo McSweeney in Grumpy Old
Women Live, a show that’s billed as “an orgy
of middle-aged mayhem, 90 minutes of theatrical HRT
with not a thong in sight.”
What’s your favourite smell?
My favourite smell is freesia, not the synthetic smell or
perfume, just the real flower. I adore it.
What trait do you least like in others?
Una was part of the same trio of ladies who previously
starred in the smash hit, Menopause The Musical.
“I’m having a great time with Grumpy Old Women. It’s
Meanness — people who are mean-spirited and finan-
cially mean. FRONT PAGE
really hard work — all go, go, go, but when you love what What trait do you least like in yourself?
you do, you really enjoy it.” I’d like to be a little more tolerant.
It’s about a year since Una’s long-standing Fair City
character, Renee, left the TV soap. “I miss Fair City. It Do you pray?
was part of my life for 11 years and I loved it — it was just I do, but not in the accepted way. Like a lot of people, I
one of those fantastic jobs. But I’ve been told Renee has pray when things go wrong.
gone to Brazil, so there’s always hope — she hasn’t been
written out.” What would cheer up a typical day?
Una has two sons, aged 25 and 18, but is coy about her My partner, Bryan Murray, who makes me laugh.
own age. “My age depends on my mood when I get up.
I’m over 50 — I will say that,” she says.
The actress, who grew up in Clondalkin, has lived in Helen O’Callaghan
Rathgar for 30 years. ���� ����� ���
“I try to go for a 40-minute walk every day. I don’t par- ������� ���� ��
ticularly like it, but, if I’m stressed, it relaxes me. I either
walk with a friend or stick my ear-phones in,” she says. ������ ����
Grumpy Old Women Live is at the Gaiety Theatre,
Dublin, until February 19; in Galway’s Town Hall Theatre
from Monday, February 28 to Saturday, March 5; at Cork’s
Everyman Palace Theatre from Monday, March 7 to Satur-
day, March 12; at Waterford’s Theatre Royal from Monday,
March 14 to Saturday, March 19; and in Limerick,
Athlone, and Killarney on dates through March.
What shape are you in?
I’m in okay shape. By the end of this show, I hope to be
better — the director has us jumping up and down. When
I did Menopause The Musical, I lost a half stone.
Do you have any health concerns?
No, I don’t. Allergy-wise, wheat and onions don’t agree
with me. Thank God, I’m fairly healthy, otherwise.
What are your healthiest eating habits? �������� ���� ������� �������� �� �������� �
I don’t really like breakfast, but I do have a yoghurt ������������ ������ ����� ���� ���� ��� �����
drink and a banana every morning.
�������� ���������� ������� ���� ���� ��������
What’s your guiltiest pleasure? ���� ������� ��� ������� ���� �� �������� ����
I don’t really have any. I’m not really a chocaholic. I like
a glass of wine with meals, or a glass of champagne when I ��
��� ����� ���� ���� ���� ���� ������ ���� �
can afford it. ������ �������� ������ ���� � ������
�������� ������� �� �������� ��� ��������
What would keep you awake at night?
There wouldn’t be enough time to write it all down. I’m ���� �� ���������� �������������
not a good sleeper. I haven’t slept properly in about six ����������� ��� ���������
months. Everything keeps me awake at night.
How do you relax?
Walking would be the main thing. Also, I knit. If I’m at
a rehearsal, where I don’t have a big part, I knit. I used to
do it on the set of Fair City. �������� ���
Who would you invite to your dream dinner party? �� ������
I’d invite my great-grandmother, Mary O’Farrell, who
worked in Dublin Castle. ������ ���� ��� ����� �� ������ ���� ����
She was the first person to discover the crown jewels �
�� ���������� ���� �������
were missing, when she went in to clean the fireplaces in ������ ��� ������� �� ��� �������
July, 1907. I’d love to sit down and talk with her about ������ �������������������
those times. MIDDLE BROW: Una
I’d also invite my father. He died in 1978 and I never co-stars in Grumpy Old
got to sit down and have a proper, adult conversation with Women, a show about
him. I’d invite my daughter, Sorcha, as well. female ‘middle-aged
What would you change about your appearance?
All the lines that seem to be springing into my face.
When did you last cry? � ��������� ���� ����� ����
Every Christmas, I watch Miracle On 34th Street and
every Christmas I cry at it. ����� ��� ���������� ������ �� �� �� ��� ���������� �� ��� ����� �������� �� ������ �� ������ ��� ������� �� �������
�� ����� ���������� ��� ������������ ������� ����� ����� �� ���� ��� ������������ ��������� �������� ��� ������
��������� �� ����� ���� ������ �� ���� ����
Feelgood FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011
4 xxxxxxxxget physical
Let’s XH - V1 XH - V1
We may think everyone else in a relationship is having lots of sex but for most people keeping the magic alive in the bedroom can be hard work, says Kathy Foley
Close encounters of the lovin’ kind
life. For most couples, the level of their sexu-
al activity mirrors what’s happening between
OW healthy is your relationship?
Is it hale and hearty, or weak and
tottering? Now consider your sex
“Sex is a good barometer of relationship
health,” says Rita Glover, the chair of the
MSc in Psychotherapy at Dublin City Uni-
versity, “Low levels of sex can reflect high
levels of stress and pressure, or a partner’s ex-
deal with the
perience of being criticised and rejected.” problems that
While popular culture may have us condi- HERE was a time when caring
tioned to believe that everyone in a relation-
ship is constantly having lengthy bouts of en- can damage or couples in search of inspiration and
advice had to make do with a tatty
thralling sex, the reality is not so thrilling.
According to the Irish Study of Sexual kill off your sex copy of The Joy of Sex, hidden at the
back of the wardrobe. Now, there is a
Health and Relationships, released in 2006,
half of married people reported having sex life. Stress is plethora of sex and relationship advice
available online. Some of it is even quite
less often than once a week. More worrying- useful.
ly, 14% of men and 17% of women said they
had sex less than twice a year.
one of the 1. Moresexdaily.com: A site devoted
Liam Lally, a counsellor at Accord, the
Catholic marriage care service, says its 60
biggest to encouraging long-term couples to
have more sex, with heaps of informa-
centres around Ireland delivered more than
40,000 counselling sessions in 2009.
culprits and it tion, advice, research and real-life stories.
“Over 60% of those coming for counselling
listed sexual/intimacy difficulties as an issue can stem from 2. IrishHealth.com: Not sex-specific,
but plenty of useful, sexual health and
in the relationship,” he says. “In 2010 this fig-
ure rose to 65%. The percentage was almost work problems, relationship information here, aimed
specifically at Irish readers.
identical for male and female clients.”
At least couples who are struggling to parenting, 3. Mrcs.ie: While giving advice on the
maintain a good sex life know they are not
alone. But they can also take comfort in the
knowledge that it is quite normal to experi-
bereavement, Marriage Relationship and Counselling
Service in Ireland, this website is also
home to articles and tips on maintaining
ence peaks and troughs in libido, and that
most sex-related problems can be addressed.
moving house or a healthy relation-
“Most relationships begin with an increased
level of sexual activity and intimacy,” says
even worry 4. Accord.ie:
Glover. “But it’s quite normal for sex to settle
into a comfortable pattern after a while.”
about the Likewise, the Ac-
cord website offers
All couples need to recognise and deal with
what sex therapist Suzi Godson calls the ‘sex current plenty of reading
material for cou-
thieves’, the problems that can damage or kill
off your sex life. Stress is one of the biggest economic ples, in addition
to information on
culprits and can stem from work problems,
parenting, bereavement, moving house or climate TOUCH AND GO: Couples struggling to maintain a good sex life can take comfort from research which suggests it’s normal to experience
its counselling ser-
even worry about the current economic cli-
mate. peaks and troughs in libido, and that most sex-related problems can be addressed. Picture: Getty Images 5. Re-
Different events in life can radically affect late.org.uk: This
our sex lives — pregnancy is a prime exam- British relationship advice service shares
ple. some handy information on its site.
“A lot of couples come for counselling af- with sexual addictions, can all be addressed. that, says Glover. She describes criticism, longer without sex,” says O’Hara. “Men tend with, especially if depression may be an issue.
ter their first baby arrives,” says Lisa O’Hara “It is about having the courage to speak to contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling as to pursue sexual intimacy, while women tend Remember, even the smallest step will 6. iVillage.com: One of the world’s
of MRCS (Marriage Relationship and your GP, who will be able to help you,” she the four main killers of good communication, to pursue emotional intimacy, but they are help. Give compliments and show affection biggest women’s interest sites. It has an
Counselling Services). “That is a time in a says. “Sex is so good for you, psychologically, adding they can kill off sexual desire too. both so important. You couldn’t actually say to your partners. Plan time together, even if entire section on love and sex.
couple’s relationship when gender differences emotionally and physically, that everyone has It mightn’t sound too romantic, but one of one is more important than the other.” it is only going for a walk.
are heightened. She needs a lot of care, but to be encouraged to enjoy it fully.” the best ways to keep your sex life on track is The only thing for it is to compromise and “It is all about setting the scene and creat- 7. Jezebel.com: For a fierce, feminist
she may have been the caregiver before, so No matter what the issue is, the best thing to make a date — with your diary. agree to give and take. “People of all ages ing an atmosphere,” says Glover. “You can’t slant on love and sex (and plenty more
the roles change. He might find it hard to ac- couples can do for their sex live is communi- “The opportunities for spontaneous sex can have different levels of sexual desire and per- go from a cold, uncaring relationship into a besides), read this website, where the
cept that the baby takes priority.” cate. decrease as a relationship goes on, so couples formance,” says Lally. “It is important that a good sex life.” comments are as informative and enter-
It is also important to remember that some “Sex is probably the most natural thing we need to plan to have regular, private, uninter- couple’s needs and expectations compatible And the best thing of all to bear in mind, taining as the articles.
sex-related problems may stem from actual do, but one of the hardest things to talk rupted time for intimacy and sex. Even if you and mutually acceptable. in these difficult economic times, is that sex
dysfunctions and could need medical treat- about,” says O’Hara. “When we talk about do not necessarily feel like having sex, let the If you find you are struggling to bring your is one of the best stress-busters there is. 8. YourTango.com: A peppy, youthful
ment. Glover cites vaginismus, dyspareunia sex, as in any conversation, we want to be mind rule the mood,” says Glover, adding sex life to a place that works for both of you, “Think of how a small baby needs touch,” site with a light approach, but plenty of
(pain during sex), hormonal changes in heard, express ourselves and be respected.” that after some intimacy such as a sensual consider seeing a couples counsellor or a cog- says O’Hara. “We all need that comfort and useful advice on sex and relationships,
women, premature ejaculation and erectile Being aware of the factors that block massage, the mood tends to catch up. nitive behavioural therapist. They are com- touch. Even if a couple doesn’t have penetra- under the froth.
dysfunction as common problems that can be healthy communication will go a long way to Be mindful of each other’s needs and how fortable discussing sex and will put you at tive sex, being close enough to another per-
Picture: Getty Images cured or much improved. Likewise, sexual keeping the channels open. When we recog- those might differ. “It is a generalisation, of your ease. Alternatively, one or both partners son to touch, smell, hear and taste them can 9. BlogHer.com: Look at the ‘love and
aversions and phobias, as well as problems nise how we are being negative, we change course, but women tend to be able to go can attend counselling on their own to start be comforting.” sex’ category for articles from women
around the world blogging on relation-
According to the Irish Study of Sexual Health and Relationships, half of married people reported having sex less often than once a week 10. Lemondrop.co.uk: Another light
look at life, love and sex with plenty of
entertaining news and views.
Feelgood FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011 Feelgood FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011
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Is first love really the magical experience we remember, asks Margaret Neylon
M Y first love was Dave. We met
at a disco in England when
we were both 16 years old.
We fell head over heels in love and, before
long, I felt I couldn’t live without him.
When we were apart we spent hours on the Our first love
telephone, no doubt driving our parents
crazy during those pre-mobile phone days.
Our relationship lasted more than three
years and fell apart only when I moved back
to Ireland. It had been a lovely experience, make an imprint
until the break-up, and every now and again,
out of idle curiosity, I wondered what had in our hearts.
happened to Dave, though it was unlikely we
would ever come across each other again. For something
Then, a couple of years ago, I presented a
radio programme called First Love. It brought
back my own experience of falling in love for
the first time: the first kiss, the first date, the
excitement meeting, the music that held a
we first give our
special message for us, the burgeoning love
that grew between us. Not surprisingly, Dave
heart away: the
came back into my mind once more. Little
did I know that, across the water, something
similar was happening to Dave. He was now
living in London and, going into a bookshop Colours are
one day, came across a book by a Margaret
Neylon. He decided to check out if this was brighter. Life is
the person he had known all those years ago.
Of course it was, and we have been in email more full of
contact ever since.
He had married and had children who are
now adults, and recently been divorced.
Though it’s nice to know we are both alive
and well, I don’t think either of us has any
desire to meet again. (Personally, I would
hate to burst the bubble on my happy mem-
ories of that time).
Despite this, I don’t think we ever truly
our mind. Our
forget our first love, it will always make an
imprint in our hearts. For something happens heart beats
when we first give our heart away: the world
changes. Colours are brighter. Life is more faster
full of promise. Words engrave themselves in
our mind and our heart beats faster.
What is it about our first love? According
to romantic novelists, it usually begins with
love at first sight, that certain ‘look’ that acts
like a magnet. However, scientists from Face
Research Laboratory at the University of Ab-
erdeen would throw cold water on that sug-
gestion. Their research shows that romance
has very little do to with it, for that ‘look’ is
more about sex and ego. “It’s a narcissistic
thing. People are attracted to people who are
attracted to them,” says scientist Ben Jones.
Like learning the alphabet, our first love
stays in our memory forever. As the Saw Picture: Getty Images
Doctors put it in their song Red Cortina:
“First Love Stays with you Forever” but what
novelist Elizabeth Aston says could also be
true: “One’s first love is always perfect until
one meets one’s second love.”
We tend to cherish our memories of first the film Hudd hanging on my bedroom wall. something so incredible and indescribable involve the messenger chemical dopamine,
love, perhaps remembering it as something He was the first person I saw on waking, the that I will treasure it always. And I feel so which stimulates the brain’s ‘reward centre’,
very innocent. In our early years when we last person I saw before I fell asleep. Those fortunate because he’s now one of my best and it’s this that helps one person fall in love
are searching for an ideal love, we may fall for startling blue eyes, that strong jaw. He was friends.” with another.
unattainable air-brushed television stars and my ideal, my hero. Shame he was happily Holmes went on to marry Tom Cruise — If you haven’t already fallen head over heels
celebrities. married to Joanne Woodward.” also Kate Hudson’s pin-up — whom she had and time is moving on, is there any hope for
Irish novelist Patricia Scanlan’s first love was But what is it like for celebrities to fall in idolised since childhood. you? If you’re an optimist, you may take on
actor Paul Newman. love for the first time? Actor Katie Holmes Pop stars have been saying ‘love is a drug’ board an observation from Irish psychoanalyst
“It was the first time I became aware of the dated her Dawson’s Creek co-star Joshua for years and researchers at Stanford Universi- Paul Gill, who says: “You can meet your first
possibility of having a boyfriend in my life. I Jackson early in the show’s run. After the re- ty in the US have found evidence that the love at any age. It may not be the first person
saw Paul Newman in Cat on a Hot Tin lationship ended, she told Rolling Stone brain chemistry responsible for addiction also you are with, but it will be the only one who
Roof, and had his iconic poster taken from magazine: “I had my first love, and it was plays a role in falling in love. Both addictions possesses your heart.”
Feelgood FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011
XH - V1
The unconditional love of parents is a must if EMPOWERING WORKSHOPS
we are to have healthy adult relationships ‘Creating
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For a • The essence of flirting and attraction
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focus on the CORK: 10 week evening course Tues 1st March
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Tony Humphreys Picture: Getty
or phone Carolyn Curtis on 087 6419912
O UR nature is love, but when, as infants and chil-
dren, we do not receive unconditional holding
from the first woman in our lives, our mother, or
the first man in our lives, our father, it becomes dangerous
for us to express the fullness and lovability of our nature.
To survive the tragedy of not being unconditionally loved,
Are You Interested in
The SOURCE Group are conducting a new study about the
mental health needs of adults aged over 50.
the child has to find other means to attract his or her parents’ In the past few weeks have you:
attention. While there is no replacing the real thing (the ● lost sleep over worry?
unique person of the child), without a substitute means of at- only when a consciousness of it emerges can we begin to
tracting the parent, the child would plummet into the cold connect with self and with the self of a lover, friend, parent, ● feltunhappy and depressed?
darkness of despair, and, I believe, would die. or whoever. ● or felt you couldn’t overcome your difficulties?
This can happen later on, when, as a young adult, our sub- Until that consciousness develops, connection with another If you answered yes, are over 50, and have not visited your
stitute ways of gaining attention cease to work. For example, will remain at a peripheral level. To risk a self-to-self contact
it is not uncommon for a young man who is deeply insecure is a bridge too far at this point in time. GP about your mental health, or used mental health support
— so uncertain of expressing his true self — that following a Piero Ferrucci, a psychotherapist and philosopher and au- services in the last 12 months, we would like to hear from you.
breakdown of a relationship with a girlfriend, he takes his thor of The Power of Kindness, distinguishes between two The objective of this research is to identify new initiatives to
precious life. When his girlfriend ends the relationship, he types of relationships — a relationship from the centre ( un- assist people over 50 who are experiencing distress. If you are
unconsciously perceives it as a recurrence of the original conditional love); and a relationship from the periphery (con-
abandonment by his mother (or some significant other) and ditional relating). a service professional with such ideas, we would like to hear
suicide becomes the means of extinguishing the pain of this Peripheral love expects recognition and support, and lives from you too.
unbearable experience. in fear of not getting them. Requiring immediate gratifica- Please note that interviews will be carried out by people aged
It is often the case that the ex-girlfriend may feel guilty and tion, it may be demanding, commanding, manipulating and 50+ and will be completely confidential.
responsible for his death, but the young man’s dependence impermanent. It takes into consideration only the surface —
would have eaten into the heart of the relationship and, in- the qualities and behaviours — of persons rather than their If you would like to take part please contact 086 1906979
evitably, the relationship would have broken down, or, if it core. It can often happen that persons who are the object of or email@example.com, or write to us at
continued, been an unhappy and conflictual liaison. this love can imprison themselves in the jail of guilt, of re- SOURCE, c/o Information & Resource Centre, Alvira
Infants and children are amazingly resilient at finding substi- sponsibility for the others’ happiness and fears of upsetting Gate, Burton Hall, Sandyford, Dublin 18.
tute ways of attracting key individuals in their lives: by being them. However, if truth be told, these persons are already im-
‘good’, by working hard, by being ever so pleasing, by smil- prisoned by their disconnection from self, and unless they
ing all the time, by being shy and quiet, by being top of the free themselves and emerge from behind their defensive
class, by being perfectionistic, by being sick, by being the prison walls, they will continue to hold onto co-dependent
clown, by being difficult, rebellious and by controlling. Each relationships.
child finds their own unique ways, and generally opposite to
that of a brother or a sister. Indeed, there are as many substi-
However, the illusion that peripheral love will bring endur-
ing happiness is shattered by the inherent lovelessness of pe-
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tute ways of getting recognition as there are children. ripheral love and groundless admiration tragically gives way to � ���� ������ �������� ����� ���� 3 in CORK
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so, by the time we come into young adulthood, we have It is not that love from the periphery does not have its ����������� �� ��������� ���� ������ ��� ����������
powerfully hidden our real and true self and have learned that pleasurable moments. Indeed, when these moments are pre- Our MBSR training ������� ��� ���� you suffer �����
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the way to another’s person heart is through behaviour. sent, it can be difficult to distinguish it from more centred ������ ������ ������� ��������� ������� ����� ��������� ������
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lover, we attempt to impress the person of our desires with tional (a substitute for real love), while centred love is uncon- ������� ������ ��� �����������
being beautiful or handsome, sexy, athletic, clever, charming, ditional and frees the persons it touches, instead of binding ��� ���� �� ��� ������� firstname.lastname@example.org
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funny, complimentary. We also attempt to impress with our them with responsibility for one’s happiness. ��� ���������������������
exploits to date, our academic achievements, our status, our Furthermore, centred love is bountiful and permanent, and,
ambitions and the books we have read, the films we’ve seen, as it originates from the silence of the self, it penetrates the
not to mention our interests and hobbies. outer shell, the thousand masks that individuals wear, the de-
It is as if we need to talk ourselves into a relationship and fensive walls they hide behind and it sees the essence of the The
convince the other of our worthiness of his or her affections. person loved. DO YOU HAVE
More often than not, the person we feel attracted to is also
experiencing doubts and fears about self, and as a result may
In the words of Ferrucci, centred love “is not stopped by
the possible ugliness of the surface, or by the wearing away of Feel Good CONSTIPATION?
be ‘taken in’ by the pursuer’s ways of impressing. the body, nor is it bound by boredom, by routine, by friction,
Are you male or female,
It is not that the person who seeks to impress is going the
wrong way about creating a relationship. The fact is that his
unsureness mirrors a disconnection from self that he necessar-
or by any other event which may appear to render the object
of love unattractive or less interesting.”
It is a love like this that would make the world go round.
Personals over 18 years of age and
would like to participate
FOR COST EFFECTIVE in a study of a treatment
ily created in the face of a parent not connecting with his ADVERTISING for this condition?
person. Tony Humphreys practices clinical psychologist, is author of
It needs to be seen that a parent’s behaviour unconsciously several books and a national and international speaker. His Phone: LORI FRASER If so, please contact our
arises from his or her own inner disconnection. Because the books Myself, My Partner and Relationship, Relationship, Rela- Tel. 021-4802265 Clinical Trials Unit at
disconnection from self occurs at an unconscious level, it is tionship are relevant to today’s topic. Fax 021-4273846
x 021 494 1375 or email
Feelgood FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011
8 xxxxxxxx story
Cover Finding a soulmate 9
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A range of experts dedicated to helping singletons find love give Deirdre Reynolds advice on flirting, winning chat-up lines, grooming and the laws of attraction
A NOD, A WINK AND A DATE I created a
collage on the
inside of my
images and words
relating to my
UPID is taking aim — but the the same tone of voice, so that you’re in
diminutive deity of desire can sync with each other. Couples who are in OVED-UP Jenny Grainger and Eoin
only do so much. love do this unconsciously by leaning in ATURE student Georgia Brophy, Scolard, pictured below, who run the
Santa has his little helpers and the Easter towards each other or taking a drink at the 31, who lives in Galway city, turned Irish School of Life in Belfast and
Bunny can rely on Cadbury for a dig out.
Matchmaking Cupid, meanwhile, depends
“Anchoring is another good flirting
to social dating site Maybe-
friends.com in her search for Mr Right. And With internet Dublin, first locked eyes on a hilltop in
Italy in 2009. Jenny says she used the Law
on a little flirting to help fuel his Valen-
tine’s Day arrows.
technique,” adds Goldin, who also runs the
Paul Goldin Clinic in Dun Laoghaire. “It’s
12 months and several mouse-clicks later,
she reveals why she won’t be alone this dating, you can be of Attraction to lasso the man of her
dreams. This concept, made famous by
Never mind a dozen fresh oysters —
from romantic poetry to Facebook poking,
a positive trigger between you and the ob-
ject of your affections.
“In my 20s, I had two long-term relation- really picky about self-help book The Secret, is defined by
Wikipedia as the belief ‘that positive and
the greatest aphrodisiac known to hu-
mankind is totally free.
“For example, a guy might briefly put
his hand on a girl’s shoulder while paying
ships that didn’t work out. So when I found
myself single again about a year ago, I decid-
the type of person negative thinking bring about positive and
negative physical results, respectively’.
And whether you’re 20 or 120, loved-up
or single, flirting is a surefire way to ignite
her a compliment and then again later on
in the conversation, so that she begins to
ed to try online dating. People use websites
like Facebook and Twitter for social net-
you're looking for. “At 40, I suddenly found myself a single
mum when my marriage of 10 years end-
you on February 14, according to the
unconsciously associate him with feeling
good about herself.
working — so why not dating too?
“With internet dating, you can be really
For instance, if a ed,” recalls Jenny. “Rather than race into
another relationship, I decided to take
But there’s more to flirting than flutter-
ing your eyelashes and cheesy chat-up
“It’s a bit like when you’re driving and a
song comes on the radio that reminds you
picky about the type of person you’re look-
ing for. For instance, if a guy is too lazy to
guy is too lazy to some time out to decide what I really
wanted from another romance at this stage
lines, says hypnotherapist Katie Jane
of a great holiday.”
Then, of course, there’s the time-hon-
send me a proper message and photo, I write
him off immediately.
send me a proper in my life. I was already passionate about
the Law of Attraction and had applied it to
“Flirting isn’t just about love or sex,” ex-
plains Goldin, author of ebook The
oured ‘double take’: “Doing a double take
lets someone know you think they’re
“You occasionally get inappropriate mes-
sages from guys who haven’t even filled out
message and other areas of my life like finances and ca-
reer. So I thought: ‘Why not use it for
Goldin Art of Flirting. “It’s a form of pos-
itive communication that can be used in
worth looking at twice.”
But is this all lost on Irish guys, who
their profile asking if you’re interested in photo, I write him love and see what happens?’
“I spent a few months getting really clear
‘no-strings sex’. And once — on a different
any situation. I teach flirting to techniques
to clients for many different reasons such as
mostly have to have drink taken before ap-
proaching a girl, before she will invariably
website — I even got a flirty message from off immediately on the attributes I was looking for in a
an engaged colleague. Then again, I’ve partner and created a collage on the inside
social phobia and stress — not just dating. shoot him down in seconds? That’s the found plenty of creeps in regular places like of my wardrobe with images and words re-
“Essentially, it’s about building up your stereotype at least. bars too. thing about internet dating — you can’t I’ve also met guys through friends, work and wrong person. My perfect guy would be lating to my ideal man. Every morning
confidence and making others feel at ease It doesn’t have to be that way, says rela- “I’ve met some amazing guys on Maybe- LOOK HERE: Georgia Brophy who says she while I was getting dressed and putting on
tionship consultant Stephen Nolan of Ka- measure chemistry by email. But it’s a bril- going out. People ask me all the time why smart, ambitious and honest. I’ve actually just has met some amazing guys online, shows off
with you.” friends. One that I dated for a few months liant introductory tool. I’m still single, which can get annoying. met someone and though it’s early days, my makeup, I’d look at my ‘Wardrobe
Whether you’re trying to score a pay rise malifestyles.com — whose masterclasses in was smart, good-looking and funny — he “I don’t think singletons should limit Anybody can have a boyfriend — I’ve just hopefully I’ll get a Valentine’s Day card at her flirting skills. Man’, and I truly believed he was out
or simply score, the principles are almost flirting for men promise to transform even just wasn’t the right guy for me. That’s the themselves to the internet either though — don’t want to waste any more years with the least.” Pictures: Andrew Downes there. In 2009, I went to a holistic retreat
the same, she says. the most tongue-tied mammy’s boy into a in Italy. On the very first night, I met
“It doesn’t matter if it’s your boss or a real-life Romeo. Eoin. It was a real eureka moment. We
love interest — making eye contact is very “Irish guys aren’t great at chatting girls had gone through almost the same process
important. Although, you don’t have to up,” says Nolan. “They tend to either desperate that if they approach an attractive instead, that’s a very powerful flirting tool. Italian and flirty French neighbours, why don’ts — of that all-important first date looking for love — and when we com-
stare them out of it either. drink too much, invade her personal space DO: Make eye contact and develop
woman, they don’t get the hint when to Try asking a leading question that will are we pitiful when it comes to seduction? then? “We always tell male and female pared our lists of what we were looking
“Try mirroring the other person’s body or show too much interest straight away. a good handshake.
leave. My golden rule is to immediately let draw her in. So even though you said you “TV and movies give the impression that clients to look their best going on a date,” for in a partner they were almost word for
language — sitting the same way or using Most of the time, it’s to do with lack of the girl know you’re not going to hang were leaving in a few seconds, hopefully single people are out there dating all the she says. “How you’re dressed is a reflec- word.
confidence. In our masterclass, we teach DON’T: Act macho (guys).
around like a bad smell. you’ll still be there in an hour. And even if time,” says Anne-Marie Cussen of It’s Just tion on the respect you have for yourself “I knew it was more than a holiday ro-
guys how to have the confidence to ap- “Start the conversation with some- she’s taken, she’ll probably be flattered. Lunch, a dating service for professionals. and your date. mance. Within four months of meeting,
proach anybody anywhere — whether DO: Use the person’s name.
thing like: ‘Hi, I only have a minute Nolan’s biggest tip for Irish guys is that “But in Ireland, it’s not unusual to marry “So wear your best ‘knock-him-dead’ we had moved in and brought our two
it’s on the street or in a supermarket. I because I’m leaving but ... ‘. This there are opportunities for flirting every- your first boyfriend or girlfriend. So you dress and get the hair done. And guys, get families together. Almost two years on, we
met my girlfriend in the queue for the DON’T: Depend on your friends
allows the barriers to come down, where. “Sure, people might think you’re a have this whole group of middle-aged men out of your jeans and sloppy t-shirt and to do the flirting for you.
still haven’t had an argument.”
Banklink. so already you’re off to a good start. weirdo if you start chatting to a girl on a and women whose marriages have ended, into a smart outfit — and use plenty of ■ See www.irishschooloflife.com
“In Ireland, it’s not really the done “Present yourself well and don’t bus — but deep down they’re probably thrown back on the dating scene with ab- deodorant.”
thing to chat people up outside of bars DO: Pay sincere compliments.
or clubs. But I think lads here need to drink too much if you’re on the thinking, ‘Fair play to him’. solutely no experience.” And remember it’s only a date. “It’s not
take a tip from American guys — when pull — women won’t be rude to “Women don’t spend three hours From lessons in flirting to dating agen- a marriage proposal or a job interview,” DON’T: Sexually tease someone
a friend of mine was in LA recently, you if you’re not drunk. putting on their makeup just to sit there cies and hook-up events, Irish singletons adds Cussen. “Think of it as an opportuni- you’re not really interested in.
she got hit on a few times a “Lean in to talk to her, chatting with their friends — they want to are increasingly calling on real-life Cupids ty to get there and have fun — and maybe
day, which she says would but don’t sit on top of her be chatted up. And once you have the to help source their soulmate. even find romance.
shoulder so that she’s un- confidence to approach her, you’re going “While the recession has hit many Irish “Although we have had a few marriages DO: Put bad relationships behind
never happen here. comfortable. Refrain to be successful.” businesses badly, the dating industry here is and even some ‘It’s Just Lunch’ babies.” you and start afresh.
“Flirting is a numbers from grilling her with a Having brushed up on your thriving,” says Cussen, whose agency sets If it’s wedding bells and nappies you’ve
game,” says Nolan. “That million questions: flirting skills, you may want to compatible clients up on daytime blind got in mind however, the Knock Marriage DON’T: Go on a first date ex-
said, if a girl has been ‘What’s your name? put your pulling power to the dates. Bureau may still be your best bet. pecting to meet your life partner.
unsuccessfully chatted What do you do? test on the singles scene. “Single people are still as anxious as Now in its 44th year, the Catholic intro-
up by 20 guys in a row Where are you from?’ But in a country where ‘Fan- ever to find that special person in their duction service was contacted by 250 love- DO: Be proactive — join a club,
— she’s probably not “If you can flip the cy a shift?’ is seen as a perfectly lives — especially around Valentine’s less lads and lassies across the country last volunteer or take up sport.
going to entertain script and get the acceptable romantic overture, Day. We take on around 70 new year alone. And even in an era of speed
number 21. other person to start are we doomed when it comes to clients every month.” dating and online liaisons, the DON’T: Raise conversation
“A lot of guys are so asking you questions dating? And unlike our libidinous So what are the dos — and definite old-fashioned spouse-seeking service boasts killers like religion, exes or other
13 marriages in as many months. people you’re dating.
“There was a time when speaking of the
Knock Marriage Bureau was a no-no,” says DO: Keep the first date simple
EYE CATCHER: There’s SHY GUYS: Relationship SECOND CHANCE: There spokesperson Canon Joseph Cooney. “It and split the bill.
more to flirting than consultant Stephen Nolan are many middle-aged Irish was seen as a haven for no-hopers. But
fluttering your eyelashes, says Irish guys aren’t people with no experience now it’s very acceptable to use it.” DON’T: Hesitate to get up and
says hypnotherapist Katie great at chatting girls up of dating, says Anne-Marie Maybe Cupid has some competition leave if your date becomes drunk,
Jane Goldin. due to lack of confidence. Cussen of It’s Just Lunch. after all. rude or embarrassing.
Feelgood FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011
10 Food survey
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As Valentine’s Day falls on Monday we
look at time saving readymade meals
T HERE is only so much you can say
with a bunch of flowers on February
14. But pick the right food, and you
and your loved one will immediately connect.
For those with a busy work schedule, some-
thing quick and easy, but a little luxurious, is a Roz Crowley
Traditionally, Valentine’s Day is associated
with seasonal venison, and venison steaks and
burgers are delicious for a quick meal. Serve it is good and add some chilli if you like heat.
with a green salad, sprinkled with A simple, stir-fried vegetable and prawn or mussel
pomegranate. Halve the pomegranate and tap dish with noodles is quick and easy, too. Use all
out the seeds, scooping out the stubborn ones your favourite vegetables cut into matchsticks. They
with the handle of a spoon. The bitter sweet- will cook as quickly as the seafood. Add cooked
ness of the seeds are a good foil for the rich noodles to warm up with some soy or hoi sin sauce.
meat. Taste and add a little honey, if it needs some sweet-
Use olive or sunflower oil, mixed with bal- ness.
samic vinegar, for this dressing. With romance and not cooking in mind, many of
If you have time, over the weekend, try you will reach for something from the shelves on
Asian shops for pomegranate molasses and add the way home from work. To make it easier for you
a tablespoon to the frying pan, with a splash of to choose, we looked at the greatest variety for this
water, to make an easy gravy. This is good for survey, from the lightest sushi to the heaviest,
pork and lamb chops, too. A little grated garlic heartiest stew. Here are our findings: Picture: Getty Images
Nash 2 Go lamb Korma, 700g Aldi Oakhurst signature beef Lidl deluxe roast half-duck with SuperValu Irish chicken and mush-
10.50 casserole, 500g 3.49 pancakes, 600g 6.99 room pie, 1kg 5.99
A rich, dark orange colour, this ready- Two frozen pouches contain tender, Half a cooked duck, from Silver Hill There is more than enough for two
made, fully-cooked lamb dish from the tasty beef cooked with smoked ham. Foods, in Co Monaghan, comes with 10 adults with this large, family-size meal. It
Cork city outlet has plenty of large This gives it a richness, along with light pancakes and a package of sweet, comprises 21% chicken and 5% mush-
chunks of lean meat and fresh spices mushrooms and red wine, nicely re- hoi sin sauce. The duck (which is deli- rooms, in a sauce topped with creamy,
bathed in a sauce of coconut milk, yo- duced with pearl onions and shallots. cious cold, too) can be heated in the mashed potato. The chicken has flavour
ghurt and tomatoes. The result is a gen- The taste is rich and meaty. Heats in the oven for 20 minutes and the pancakes and texture, but the sauce has the harsh-
uine Korma, lively and interesting. It can bag, or in a saucepan, while rice or steamed or microwaved. The duckling is ness of cheap wine. The potato topping
be heated in a saucepan on the hob, potatoes are cooking. Creamy mash, or nicely seasoned and the hoi sin sauce is is creamy and crisps up well. With 9.5g
while rice is cooking, but it’s also deli- potatoes in their skins, are ideal to soak nicely plummy. Served with a winter sal- fat in a 250g portion, a quarter of the
cious with crusty bread for a really in- up the juices. Servings are generous ad of grated or finely-sliced raw beet- carton, the low-fat chicken is offset by
stant supper. Good and could stretch root, carrot, white turnip, chopped broc- the sauce. Salt is
value, there is to more than two. coli or other high, at 1.5g per
plenty for two Excellent value greens, this is a 250g. With veg-
in this size. and a useful delicious feast etables, could
Delicious. standby. for two. be a pleasant
Score: 9 Score: 8.75 Score: 8.5
Tesco finest classic Steak Diane, Dashi sushi, 8.50 Marks & Spencer Chinese favourites, Dunnes salmon en croute, 300g 4.
450g 6.59 1.37kg 14.99
This new takeaway on Cook Street, Two parcels of fresh salmon with a
Named after the Roman goddess of Cork, also has tables to eat in. It pro- In a case-style cardboard box, we find cheese and chive sauce wrapped in a
the hunt, traditionally Steak Diane was vides quite a few choices and combina- all sorts of treats in plastic trays: 22% light, puff pastry. Both are cooked in a
made from fillet steak, fried and served tions. This selection of eight sushi egg fried rice, 18% sweet and sour chick- hot oven, 25-30 minutes, to crisp up the
with mushrooms and cream, cooked in pieces comes with fillings of avocado, en, 18% beef and black bean, 17% bat- pastry. The result was light and crisp.
the leftover juices of the fried meat. The prawn, crab, smoked salmon. There are tered chicken pieces with sweet chilli However, 43% pastry and 34% salmon is
beef in this pack is not fillet steak, but is cooked and non-fish choices, too. In the sauce, 14% vegetable chow mein, 10% balanced too much in favour of pastry,
tender and tasty, probably cooked slow- reusable, snap-shut box is a blob of vegetable spring rolls. They can be and while enough for small appetites,
er than frying to ensure its moist tex- wasabi, for those who like it hot, and warmed in the oven for 25 minutes. the salmon is a little sparse. The cream
ture. A soft, smooth blend that is not soy sauce for dipping. The selection While there was nothing wrong with the cheese and chive sauce is not noticeable
too heavy, but is a satisfying mouthful. makes a lovely, light meal or starter. food, and there was when cooked, but it keeps the fish
Heat in the oven or microwave, but The eight pieces are enough for two plenty of it, tasters moist. Quite pleasant for the
could also be heated as a starter, or were disap- price, but needs
over low heat on one for main pointed that, lots of vegeta-
the hob. Fair val- course. Satisfy- there was noth- bles on the side
ue; good product. ing mouthfuls. ing special. Not to add satisfac-
Healthy, too. over-salted. tion.
Score: 8.25 Score: 6 Score: 5.5
Feelgood FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011
is more 11
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It’s the economy,
CUPID Celebrate your love without breaking the
bank, says Helen O’Callaghan
I N these cash-strapped times, Valentine’s
Day can be hard on your purse. It’s big
business after all. Andrew Cummins,
Restaurant Association of Ireland chief exec-
utive, estimates Valentine’s Day is worth
7.5 million to the industry here. In Britain,
11 If the rain stays away, Franc suggests
driving to the nearest beach, gathering some
stones, building a fire, wrapping up in coats
and duvets and watching the starry night.
“Toast marshmallows over the fire and listen
to the sounds of crashing waves.”
a National Love Report conducted by Hall-
mark found eight out of 10 people surveyed 12 Write little notes about what your part-
would be sending at least one Valentine card ner means to you, suggests Franc. Hide them
this year, with figures comparable in Ireland. around the house. Add a riddle at the end of
But how can you be romantic without go- each about where to find the next one. At
ing broke? How can you save money without the last note, have something special waiting
being a cheapskate and still score 10 out of — you, in a candlelit bathroom, soaking in
10 for romance? Here are 20 inexpensive, bubbles with some bottles on ice in the sink.
cheerful and romantic ways to make the most
of Valentine’s Day. 13 Make
1 Make your own Valentine card and, in- ner’s
stead of a verse, list some things you really favourite
love about your partner. TV psychologist An- breakfast and
jula Mutanda says a Valentine’s card makes serve it to
the receiver feel special. “It mimics the emo- them in bed.
tions of the early stages of love — excite- Include ro-
ment, intimacy, hope and bags of positive en- mantic foods
ergy. All these feelings boost mood, making like figs,
us feel good about ourselves.” strawberries
2 Proclaim your love openly on Facebook, covered in dark chocolate.
recommends wedding planner Rosemarie
Meleady. “Write a nice message on her Face- 14 Download from your phone or digital
book page on Valentine’s morning so all her camera photos of your partner that he doesn’t
friends know how much you love her and even know you’ve taken. Make a montage of
why.” them or put them in an inexpensive frame,
suggests Meleady. Alternatively, sit down to-
3 Going for coffee is the new dating trend, gether and watch a slide show of the photos
with a recent survey by dating agency on your computer. Enjoy the sweet memo-
Parship finding it’s how ries.
singles, on a first date,
like to get acquainted 15 Pick household chores your partner
with each other. So usually does. Surprise them by doing them
— even if you’re
married with kids
— make believe
Write a message on your loved before they get a chance (cooking/clean-
“It doesn’t sound romantic, but the thought
it’s your first date,
find yourself a cosy
one’s Facebook page on Valentine’s will certainly count,” says Barry.
café and make sure your cappuccinos have lit-
tle frothy milk-and-choc heart shapes on top.
Day or if you are single try online 16 Plant a small tree together as a statement
that you’re in this for the long-term.
4 Been irritable with your partner recently? dating to meet some new people 17 Get the kids to bed early, advises Franc.
On Valentine’s Day, decide to think well of “Dress up and wine and dine in the best
your partner. “When you think positively, restaurant in town — your own home.
something happens in your brain,” says Lisa The best part of this evening — after
O’Hara, counsellor with the Marriage Rela- memory of your time together on each. In- ner a CD featuring songs that remind you of you’ve had a sumptuous dinner and a snuggle
tionship Counselling Service. “You soften. clude as much detail as you can. Present the each other or of events enjoyed together. Re- on the couch watching a movie — is that
You’re more likely to smile. Your partner ‘memories’ to your partner in a box decorat- name each of the songs so the titles resonate you can then do what you can’t do in any
finds you more approachable. You open ed with a bow. personally. other restaurant... I guarantee one of the best
yourself to closeness again.” dining experiences ever.”
7 Find a romantic novel, 10So you are single on Valen-
5 “Don’t feel sad if you don’t have anyone book of short stories or poetry tine’s Day? Start setting up 18 Present your partner with IOU
to share Valentine’s Day with — you always and take turns reading aloud to some dates for yourself. “Try coupons: I will make dinner, I will do the
have you,” says Peter Kelly, aka Franc of each other. online dating,” says Gráinne laundry, I will clean the kitchen for a week.
Weddings by Franc. “Pamper yourself with a Barry, CEO of www.another-
candlelit bubble bath, shake up a cocktail or 8 Consider what your partner friend.com. 19 Make Valentine muffins together and
two, prepare your favourite meal, rent out might enjoy and give him that. “It’s the cheapest way to find decorate with a romantic message to your
your favourite film. Plan for Valentine’s Day “If it’s half an hour to himself a date. For 25 you’ve got a loved one. For recipe ideas visit
now — you will find yourself looking for- in the evening — when you month’s worth of dating www.bbc.co.uk/food/recipes. We particularly
ward to your special treats — your quality might prefer to talk — give prospects. like the Valentine muffins.
time with yourself.” him that half hour,” says When you sign up within
O’Hara. 24 hours you’ll have met 10 20 Leave a message on your partner’s
6 Make a memory box. Take half a dozen new people whom you can voicemail, telling them how much they mean
pieces of card and write down a favourite 9 Meleady recommends making your part- prospectively date.” to you.
Feelgood FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011
12 Beauty XH - V1
For a classic treat this Valentine’s, everything’s coming up roses The news on ...
Scent with love
I’m a big fan of L’Occitane’s Shea Butters,
12.50, and they’re especially good in
winter. Containing over 95% shea butter,
they’re about as pure as you can get in
terms of thorough moisturising.
But, it’s hard to get excited about plain
old shea butter, as wonderful as it is.
In an effort to jazz things up a bit, L’Occ-
itane have now released limited edition
shea butters in three scents —
Vineyard Rose, Or-
ange Honey and
PRETTY PINK PALETTES
WELL, there’s only one colour to be wear-
ing this Valentine’s Day, and that’s pink.
Thankfully, there are lots of pink palettes
around that help you get the look without
being all Barbara Cartland about it. Go for
palettes that include colours such as
chocolate, for a pink-inspired smoky eye.
UST because the big day of love is
looming large doesn’t mean you have Clinique Limited Edition Milly Pret-
to get involved with overpriced ty in Prints Palette, 34. This collabo-
menus and fluffy teddies (what does a grown ration between fashion brand Milly and
woman want with a fluffy teddy anyway?). Clinique has resulted in a lovely palette
You can always stay in and indulge in a few adorned with a silver print and housed
lovely little treats of your own. within a boldly-patterned
I’m not totally averse to symbols of love pouch. The palette itself is
and one of them that fits quite nicely into the soft and flattering, with an
beauty side of things is the rose. Picture: Getty Images eyeshadow quad and a
Traditionally, the rose is the flower of love, pretty blush.
as you might guess from Shakespeare prattling
on about it rather a lot in his sonnets. And Giorgio Sheer
while it does have quite a distinctive scent Translucent Blush,
and is usually adopted by the kind of beauty some great rose products for body and face, with dry or mature skin. 35.50. The title of this
company that is partial to florid floral packag- including the Wild Rose Body Elixir, And if you’re in the mood for stepping up gives the impression that you’ll be wear-
ing, rose-based products can have a strong ap- 32.82, the radiance-boosting Wild Rose the rose theme, then the way to go is a fra- ing next to nothing on the skin, when, in
peal beyond the blue-rinse brigade. Beauty Elixir, 50.95, and the Rose Formula grance. Rose has traditionally been a bit on fact, this very light blush palette gives a
If you’re after a more modern appreciation Hydrating Eye Cream, 26.35. the dowdy side, so amp up the cool factor pretty lift to the cheeks.
of the rose, then there are two things you can Trilogy is a skincare company founded in with Paul Smith Rose or Stella McCartney
do. First, look for it as an ingredient rather 2002 and one of their star products is the Rose Absolute — both use concentrated rose Bobbi Brown Pretty Face Palette,
than as a prominent scent. Second, if you are 100% certified organic Rosehip Oil, 19.95. extracts with a modern effect. 50. If you’re after a good, pink palette
going for it as a scent, look to fashion-based In clinical trials, this product scored 10 out of For those who want to really want to go all for spring, then this is all you’ll need. It’s
fragrance brands for a cooler interpretation. 10 on scars and stretch marks, so it’s ideal for out, there’s Annick Goutal’s awesome Grand very well-stocked, and while it might be a
The rose has come on leaps and bounds as pregnant women. Amour — it’s a scent inspired by the “serene little on the pricey
an ingredient in beauty products and is now a If you’re looking for real skin indulgence, passion Annick experienced with her hus- side — it’s worth it
highly regarded component of skin creams then my current favourite is the sumptuous band, the cellist Alain Meunier, who would for all that’s con-
and serums. Natural-oriented beauty compa- Aromessence Rose D’Orient Night Balm bring her a bouquet of white flowers every tained within —
nies, such as Neal’s Yard, have long been fans from Decléor. Smooth this on at night, and week”. blush, eyeshadows
of the rose whose pedigree is thought to date you’ll wake up with baby-soft skin in the It has only a hint of Turkish rose, but it and lovely lipgloss-
back to Egyptian times. They’ve now got morning. It’s particularly lovely for those certainly packs an amorous punch. es.
STUFF WE LIKE
Trilogy Organic Rosehip Oil, 19.95. Ila Face Oil, 66.20 from lovelula.co.uk. Annick Goutal Grand Amour eau de pink bloom”, this scent was inspired by a
This multi-tasking gem is great at treating It’s been described as a “little miracle”, and parfum, 125. What a scent, what a bot- rose London-based designer Paul Smith
stretch marks and scars, but it’s also a good while we’re loathe to give it supernatural tle! If strong, statement-making scents are gave his wife for her birthday. There’s Turk-
one for smoothing over the skin at night for status, it does have a lovely effect on the your thing then this is the first in the ish rose oil and green tea here, as well as
a more intense moisture boost. And if you skin. It’s expensive, but it uses the essential queue. Go for the beautiful butterfly bottle violet and magnolia flowers.
want a more velvety look to your founda- oil of rose damascena, which is renowned and enjoy the mix of carnal flowers within.
tion, then mix a little of this into it. for its regenerative qualities. Lovely. Neal’s Yard Wild Rose Body Elixir,
Decléor Aromessence Rose D’Orient 32.82. This new body treatment from
Balm Balm Rose Organic Hand REN Moroccan Rose Otto Ultra-Mois- Night Balm, 47.99. If your skin is suffer- Neal’s Yard is already proving a hit thanks
Balm, 7.22 from lovelula.co.uk. ture Body Oil, 49. REN’s Rose Otto ing from the usual February angst, to its luxurious fragrance and
Hands get it rough during the Bath Oil has been a favoured prod- then this is a good way of in- great moisturising qualities. It’s
winter, and crocodile-like skin uct in our bathroom for quite some jecting a bit of love back into it. enriched with wild rosehip oil,
isn’t particularly romantic. Espe- time now, Valentine’s Day or no It softens and smoothes, as with antioxidant acai (rich in
cially if you’re planning to hold Valentine’s Day, but this body oil is well as nourishing and mois- omegas 6 and 9), cocoa butter
the hands of another. This is al- coming a close second. Exuding turising. and Brazil nut oil.
so a great balm to help your the same exceptional soft exotic
mitts through the last of win- scent, it’s marvellous at softening Paul Smith Rose Eau de
ter’s harsh weather. the skin leaving you ready for ro- Parfum, 38. Described as a
mance. “potently fragrant, cochineal
Feelgood FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011
XH - V1
back in form
T OMMY O’NEILL is one of Fair
City’s core actors, having played De-
tective John Deegan on the popular
soap opera for the last number of years. Yet
he also lives with back pain, which originated
in a car crash 30 years ago.
“I’ve gone through everything to tackle
back pain,” says O’Neill, 57, who has also ap-
peared in The Tudors, Veronica Guerin, The
General, The Boxer, Ballykissangel, and The
Riddle alongside Vinnie Jones.
“Sometimes, the pain would have been they would know what to do if a patient still
very bad, other times, it was just a niggle, but complained of pain after treatment. Wex-
I’ve also been depressed with it, and at times ford-based Tommy O’Neill has found greatest MOVEMENT MEDICINE: Fair City actor Tommy O’Neill follows the moves of somatic
was not able to work because the pain was so relief through working with his osteopath movement practitioner Tara Dowling at the Psalm Centre. Picture: Patrick Browne
bad.” and through somatic movement, which he
Chronic pain affects almost 400,000 people now endorses.
in Ireland with a two-year waiting list for di- “I was put in touch with somatic move-
agnosis and treatment. In 2010, a survey of ment educator Tara Dowling and I found
over 2,000 chronic pain sufferers across 15 that the stretching exercises really get in lent of the slow food movement. It is a series and shoulder pain, sciatica, insomnia, muscu-
European countries — 101 of whom were in there,” says O’Neill. “They make sense and I of gentle movements and exercises that edu- lar pain and tension and the aches and pains
Ireland — found that 42% believe others, in- have found them a great help. Over the years, cate the body’s neuro-muscular system and of ageing.
cluding employers and peers, doubt the exis- I have learned to live with the pain and to do allows for more ease and freedom of move- “For me, it’s a matter of looking at every-
tence of their pain. something to alleviate it as soon as it appears. ment in the body. It works by focusing your thing differently and finding something that
The Pain Proposal European Consensus re- I do a lot of sport and mountain walking, so mind on the body while moving slowly, and works,” says O’Neill.
port also found that 25% of people with something often triggers the pain. I get my leads to a sequential unwinding of long-term
chronic pain have been accused of using pain osteopath to re-align my back and do the so- holding patterns, which leads to freer move- ■ To find out more about somatic move-
as an excuse not to work. Less than half of matic exercises to keep it good.” ment. As such, it can be useful in the treat- ment education, contact Tara Dowling at 086
over 100 GPs surveyed here were confident Somatic movement is the exercise-equiva- ment of lower back pain, headaches, neck 829 7703 or email firstname.lastname@example.org
Trinity leads the way in New prostate clinic at DId you know...
lung cancer research Waterford hospital Alcoholism is linked to
RESEARCH into lung cancer
that could help develop new
enzymes that regulate blood
clotting are involved in lung
A RAPID Access Prostate Clinic
was recently opened at Water-
be delivered. “The suite consists
of an ultrasound room, a dedi- later marriage and
treatments and increase sur-
vival for patients is being con-
The researchers believe the
ford Regional Hospital (WRH)
by Dr Frank Dolphin, pictured,
cated private area for pre and
post biopsy patients, toilet facili- earlier separation
ducted in Ireland by Professor development and progression chairman of the board of the ties and a decontamination
Ken O’Byrne and his team at of lung cancer is linked to HSE. unit,” says Dr Dolphin. (Source: Cardiff University, Wales)
St James’s Hospital and Trinity blood clotting pathways and Recent reconstruction works “While waiting for the rapid
College Dublin. new blood vessel formation. at the ultra sound access prostate service to
The Thoracic Oncology Re- Lung cancer patients are 20 suite in WRH (which commence, the suite will
search group has established times more likely to experi- is the South East Re- be used for patients who
Ireland’s first lung cancer ence a blood clot than a per- gional Cancer Centre) currently attend for
bio-bank, comprising more son who is cancer free. has facilitated an im- prostate biopsies.”
than 650 samples collected The group has already seen proved co-ordination Establishing the Rapid
from lung cancer patients at St some exciting results, includ- of patient clinical Access Prostate Clinic
James’s. ing the discovery that certain treatment pathways, means there will no
Part of the research, which is enzyme levels are increased in through which a longer be a need to admit
funded by the Irish Cancer So- lung cancer tissue, with others rapid access Prostate such patients to a day
ciety, looks specifically at how linked to poor survival. Cancer Service will ward bed at WRH.
TAKE 4 with Kate O’Reilly Valentine treats
1 ROMANTIC BREAK: Treat your
loved one to a luxurious spa break
at the C Spa, Ireland’s only
Ayurvedic spa, in Westport, Co
LOVE BREW: Warm your heart with
this delicate infusion of sweet floral
aromas from Pukka. This blend of or-
ganic chamomile, roses and lavender
IN THE MOOO’D: For a natural
treat, check out the luxurious Cow-
shed range which includes Horny
Cow and Wild Cow products. Horny
SWEET TREAT: Oxfam’s Plush Lux-
ury Chocolate Box contains a selec-
tion of luxury Fair Trade Belgian
dark, milk and white chocolates; —
Mayo. Former RTÉ presenter Bibi Baskin is designed to help you feel grounded, re- Cow Seductive Body Lotion, 19, is a floral, 5 from Oxfam Ireland Fair Trade shops in
has brought her Indian experience to the laxed and uplifted. A box spicy blend that evokes sensuality and pas- Cork, Belfast, Galway and Dublin or online
Carlton Atlantic Coast hotel, where the spa of 20 teabags costs 2.95 sion with rose absolute and es- at www.oxfamireland.org/fairtrade-shop. Or
is run by a team of Ayurvedic specialists from health stores. sential oils of patchouli and cinna- how about giving your sweetheart an alter-
from Kerala, South India. Treatments at the mon. Or there’s Bullocks Shav- native Valentine’s Gift from Oxfam Un-
spa include Couples Escape, 159pps. You ing Cream, 18.95, for a smooth wrapped, like a bunch of sunflowers, 20.
and your partner can relax shave. Nelsons Dispensary in By growing sunflowers and pressing them
and unwind together while Dublin (mail order 01 – 6790451) for oil, people living
enjoying a warm oil stock the Cowshed range and with HIV and AIDS
Ayurvedic massage. The for a Valentine’s treat they also can earn an income
treatment ends with straw- suggest the organic cologne to put food on the
berries and a glass of cham- Dusk from Organic Grooming, table. Your gift
pagne and also includes 29.95. For details of other provides the
B&B and dinner. For details Cowshed stockists, see seeds and equip-
of other treatments at C Spa www.cowshedonline.com/ ment.
call 098-29000 or visit
Feelgood FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011
14 Medical matters
XH - V3
Q I SUFFER with heartburn
and was told I have a hiatus
hernia. Will exercise make
A. No, exercise will not make your hiatus
hernia worse. However, it can increase acid
reflux in people who are prone to excess cigarettes
acid. and alcohol.
Exercise increases the intra-abdominal Picture: iStock
pressure and forces stomach acid back into
the oesophagus (gullet). When there is a
Dr Niamh Houston hiatus hernia, part of the stomach slips up,
or passes (herniates) through the small open-
ing in the diaphragm that allows your oe-
sophagus to pass through on its way to your
Dr Niamh Houston is a stomach. This can allow food and stomach
GP with a special acid back up into your gullet, leading to
interest in integrative heartburn, nausea, belching or chest pain.
medicine. If you have a A small, hiatal hernia doesn’t cause prob-
question about your child’s lems, but a large one can lead to heart burn
health email it to and the above symptoms. It is usually ac-
email@example.com quired, but can be present from birth. Some hernia can be done via minimally invasive abuse are just some of the many conditions
or send a letter to people may be able to see a bulge where the surgery. that can cause falls in the older person.
Feelgood hernia is present. If you suffer with frequent Rising from a chair and walking around
Irish Examiner or recurrent symptoms, you may require Q. My mother is in her 70s and recently the room requires muscular power, balance,
City Quarter treatment, which can include had a fall at home. She wasn’t seriously and joint-position sense. Inactivity associated
Lapps Quay over-the-counter medication or surgery. injured, but it has affected her confidence. with osteoarthritis can result in weakness of
Cork Antacids, such as Maalox, can give quick We don’t know what caused her fall. the muscles and loss of balance.
relief, but, used alone, won’t heal an in- How can we prevent this happening Elderly people should keep active and ex-
flamed oesophagus. H2 receptor antagonists, again? ercise as much as possible. Management of
for example Zantac, reduce acid production, falls should always include an exercise pro-
and while they don’t act as quickly as A. Falls are one of the most common gramme, such as tai-chi, physical therapy or
antacids, they provide longer relief. Medica- health problems experienced by the elderly other exercises for balance, gait and strength
tions that block acid and heal the gullet are and often lead to a loss of independence. training. Group exercise activities also pro-
known as PPIs, or proton pump inhibitors. Falls are more likely to result in serious in- vide the benefit of regular social contact.
Stronger ones are available on prescription. juries, and, given their frequency and conse- New recommendations of fall risk should
The weakened stomach muscle tissue that quences, are as serious a health problem as also include examination of the feet and
allows your stomach to bulge up through heart attacks and strokes. Falls can lead to footwear. Evaluating the home environment
your diaphragm can be caused by injury to loss of self-confidence and reduced quality can identify factors that place a person at
the area, or persistent pressure on surround- of life. The risk of falling and sustaining an risk of falls: loose rugs/mats, electric leads
ing muscles — from coughing, vomiting, injury increases with age and is linked to trailing on the floor, poor lighting or wet
lifting heavy objects or straining during a early admission to long-term care facilities. surfaces, especially in the bathroom. The in-
bowel movement. An elderly person with a history of falls stallation of safety devices, such as handrails
Lifestyle changes can relieve heart burn should undergo a multi-factor IAL fall-risk on stairs, grab bars in bathrooms, can reduce
caused by a hiatal hernia. Eat several, smaller assessment, looking at muscle weakness, bal- the risk of falls. Hip protectors can be bene-
meals during the day, rather than a few, ance problems or changes in blood pressure. ficial, too.
large meals. Avoid alcohol, smoking, choco- A physical examination should look at gait, Cataract surgery should be performed, if
late, onion, spicy foods, citrus and toma- mobility, joint function, muscle strength, necessary. Medication, including sedatives,
to-based foods. Limit fatty foods and don’t neurological and cognitive function, cardio- antidepressants or other drugs affecting the
lie down after meals. Eat your last meal at vascular strength, sight and footwear. central nervous system, should be reduced
least three hours before bed-time. Lose The risk of injury in the elderly increases or withdrawn, if possible. All older adults at
weight, if needed, and reduce stress in your due to osteoporosis, osteomalacia, stiff joints risk of falls should receive a daily vitamin D
life. and loss of protective, subcutaneous fat. De- supplement (800iu). The elderly should be
If extreme pain is present, emergency mentia, cataracts, heart arrythmias, Parkin- encouraged to keep active and to exercise as
surgery may be needed. Repair of hiatal son’s disease, minor strokes and alcohol much as possible.
NOTE: The information contained in Dr Houston’s column is not a substitute for medical advice. Always consult a doctor first
T was time for the offspring of a couple teria was a prelude to amputation — and
of city slickers, whose farmyard knowl- not the upshot of a very slight graze on the
edge is rooted in the lyrics of Old Mac- forearm. The wound was a minor skin
Donald, to dip their urbane toes in the mire break. I had a flash of a future spent in
of agrarian living. emergency departments with a son who be-
With no desire for my child to be the guy
who answers “From Tescos” when teacher
lieved every blow fatal and every illness his
final one. I want to go
asks where milk comes from, I organised
their pastoral baptism with a friend who
I directed him back towards the car, tears
flooding our wake and one small arm held home, he sobbed.
lives in the country.
All was going swimmingly until Lughaidh
aloft least we mistake the victim for a
healthy individual. I HATE the
lost his footing. Ploughing headlong into a
nasty tangle of briars, a volcano of sobs
erupted sending sheep scuttling and clucking
We returned to the farmhouse, where,
with the delicacy of a surgeon, we strapped
up the minor abrasion, stemming the tide of
hens diving for cover. “I want to go home,”
he sobbed. “I HATE the countryside. You
tears with a couple of biscuits, a favourite
TV programme and a promise to bring in
You said we’d
said we’d see Tractor Tom. And where are
the S..S..S..Sylvanian Families?”
Bobby the Dog to inspect the wounded sol-
see Tractor Tom.
Trying to rise above the wailing — louder
than any lament alongside a sacred wall in
Bobby the Dog showed too much promise
for my two-year-old who squealed in terror
And where are
Jerusalem — I explained Tractor Tom was
on a road trip with Massey Ferguson and a
at his boisterous nature and refused to leave
the utility room, convinced he was going to the
bunch of anthropomorphic dolls posturing
in campervans under the epithet “Sylvanian
eat her. Bobby was brought to heel and
shown the door and order restored, much to S..S..S..Sylvanian
Catherine Families” was not a true reflection of bucol-
“My kids are a bunch of wimps”, I Families?
Shanahan Unimpressed by my explanations he
upped the ante on the weeping until cows
thought to myself, vowing to steer clear of
the countryside until they were old enough
in a neighbouring field took flight and the to realise that the secret behind a damn fine
bull in their midst mulled over whether to breakfast of cheese, boiled eggs and
break out and spear him. well-buttered bread is the farmer who rises
MUM’S WORLD If anyone, bar animals, had heard him,
they would have presumed the level of hys-
at cockcrow to milk his cows, sow his grain
and feed his hens.
Feelgood FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011
XH - V2
Q I HAVE a verruca on my heel
and it’s quite painful and un-
comfortable. I don’t want to
have it frozen, burned or cut
out, so was wondering if there
are any natural ways to treat this.
Celery is one
of the foods
that can help
A. A simple home remedy, which is going
to sound a bit like an urban myth, is a black-
ened banana. You tape the inside of a black- Images
ened banana peel over the verruca each
Megan Sheppard night before you go to bed and within three
to five days it will typically fall out. If the
verruca refuses to budge then add a drop of
neat oregano essential oil directly on the af-
Do you have a question fected area. If the verruca persists then it’s
for Megan Sheppard? best to get medical advice.
Email it to You can also use this remedy with warts,
firstname.lastname@example.org and if you are feeling squeamish then just use
or send a letter to the oregano oil by itself — it will take
Feelgood longer, but eventually works to get rid of the
Irish Examiner verruca or wart.
City Quarter In traditional Chinese medicine (TCM),
Lapps Quay any skin conditions are seen as an outward
Cork expression of your internal health — there
are many dermatological conditions which
have been successfully treated in less than a
month using acupuncture in particular. A
good practitioner can read the state of your
organs through methods such as pulse and
tongue diagnosis, and it is common for
herbal remedies and nutritional recommen-
dations to be a part of the consultation.
Q. I have suffered with gout for nine
years and hope you can help. I have been
to doctors and specialists over the years,
but it keeps returning no matter what
tablets they give me. salicylates (such as aspirin) can inhibit the been shown in studies to significantly inhibit
excretion of uric acid. the desire for drinking alcohol. Two of the
A. Gout is an arthritic condition triggered Drink plenty of pure water daily — at active constituents, daidzein and daidzin, are
by excessive uric acid in the bloodstream. least two litres — to prevent the formation responsible for this effect. However, it is im-
The uric acid crystals travel to the joints, of kidney stones and help dilute the uric acid portant to note that this is not a cure for al-
where they cause pain, inflammation and in the urine. coholism — it is a valuable support tool
heat in the area. It is common for gout to There is a blend of three herbs — water- when an individual has chosen to take action
affect one joint at a time, often beginning cress, speedwell, and wood betony — which with their alcohol problem.
with the big toe. a client of mine swears by. Use one teaspoon Taken before drinking, kudzu typically
Don’t be surprised if you have a family of each and brew together with two to three helps to prevent binge drinking. It will also
history of gout, this is a condition with a cups of water and drink this amount daily. help to minimise the negative effects of alco-
strong genetic link. More than a quarter of There are a couple of beneficial foods to hol when taken afterwards, so is also useful
all sufferers have reported a family history of take note of, namely celery, and black cher- as a hangover remedy.
gout. ries, since these are thought to specifically Using kudzu whenever the desire to drink
The good news is that it can be relatively help prevent gout. Of course, eating plenty arises can help with alcohol cravings, and is a
simple to treat since it is strongly linked with of any fresh produce is likely to help treat useful support tool alongside an effective re-
dietary choices. Avoid purine-rich foods, and prevent conditions such as gout. As with covery programme.
such as organ meats, herring, mackerel, other arthritic conditions, essential fatty acids If your husband wishes to use kudzu to re-
trout, and meat/yeast extracts (Bovril or are most beneficial — but stick to non-fish duce the amount of alcohol consumed be-
Marmite) which break down into uric acid sources. fore drinking, then ideally he should take
in the body. Large meals increase the amount Note: Please consult your doctor before 1000mg (1g) with breakfast, lunch, and din-
of uric acid in the bloodstream, so eat small changing your diet or medication. ner and the same again the day after drink-
meals more frequently and avoid purine-rich ing. Where addiction is being treated
foods. Q. I have been researching herbal alter- through abstinence, take 1000mg-2000mg
You should also steer clear of caffeine and natives to help my husband with his alco- twice daily (morning and evening, with
alcohol, since both of these interfere with hol problem, and apparently there is a food) for one month.
the removal of uric acid from the body via Chinese herb called kudzu which can stop You may also want to look into a liver
the kidneys. Beer is particularly rich in binge drinking. Can you please tell me if supporting combination using herbs such as
purines, so is a definite no-no. this is the case, and how much should he dandelion and milk thistle, which can help
You should also take note of any medica- be taking? to regenerate the liver and help greatly with
tion that you are on, since diuretics and A. Kudzu, a coarse vine from China, has recovery.
Megan puts the spotlight on: Raw chocolate
EXT to flowers, chocolates all of the nutrients and antioxidants, start with their own, whole cacao
are the most popular gift of-
fered to loved ones on Valen-
but, fortunately, there are many raw
chocolate options available today.
beans and grind it down using a mor-
tar and pestle for a traditional twist.
tine’s Day. While most people agree
a box of chocolates is one of the
Cacao, in the raw, is one of the
richest sources of antioxidants avail-
Most raw chocolate recipes call for
dates, honey, agave, or some other,
cacao with sugar,
most glorious and decadent treats to
share, not many list it as a healthy
able. While dark, organic chocolate
made with 70% cocoa, or more, is a
natural sweetener to make the bitter
cacao more palatable without losing milk, preservatives
or nutritious food.
Raw chocolate is a different story.
reasonable alternative, if you find it
difficult to source raw chocolate, it
any of the health benefits.
One of my favourite raw chocolate and roasting the
Held in high regard by the Aztecs
— this “food of the gods” was used
pales in comparison to the antioxi-
dant-rich, raw chocolate delight.
books is Naked Chocolate, by David
Wolfe & Shazzie — it’s packed with beans, destroys
as currency — raw cacao has been Because raw cacao is naturally bit- nutritional advice and mouth-water-
used as part of celebrations and rit-
uals, and for vitality, since ancient
ter, it works medicinally to assist with
digestion. Indulge your senses by
ing recipes. Most health food stores
are now stocking a selection of raw
almost all of the
Obviously, combining cacao with
making your own raw chocolate treats
using raw cacao powder, cacao butter,
cacao products, so why not check
them out and surprise your loved one
sugar, milk and preservatives, and
roasting the beans, destroys almost
cacao paste (also called liqor), and ca-
cao nibs. Adventurous foodies can
with some divine, handmade choco-
late goodness this Valentine’s Day.
Feelgood FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011
XH - V1
Introducing the World’s First Invisible
In-The-Ear-Canal Hearing Aid
Now we can now offer our patients a
completely custom, invisible hearing
solution with world class performance
DON’T SUFFER IN SILENCE “If you think you have a
hearing problem...the time to act is NOW. Living life to
its fullest means hearing all the sounds around you. The
important sounds are conversation, telephone and TV. To
help ensure that you receive the highest quality hearing
care, we utilise the most sophisticated diagnostic and
evaluation service available. You have my personal
assurance of satisfaction in all your dealings with us.”
- GRAHAM M. QUIN
STATE-OF-THE-ART EQUIPMENT As a result of Mr.
Quin’s pursuit of excellence, Cork now boasts one of the
most sophisticated diagnostic and evaluation services
available, so you can get an accurate measurement of
your hearing. He has installed the ultra modern computer
analysis ‘Real Ear Measurement’ equipment that actually
tests your hearing instruments performance while you
are wearing it.
INVALUABLE SERVICE We are proud to offer our
customers a top class hearing care service with
unbeatable aftercare. By offering the latest in
technological advances we can provide even greater
levels of hearing benefit to our valued clients.
TOP CONSULTING AUDIOLOGIST LEADING OUR TEAM
Graham Quin is a graduate of University College Cork,
Trinity College Dublin and holds a Masters Degree in
Audiology from the world renowned Institute of Sound
and Vibration Research (ISVR) at the University of
W e also specia
EARINaGdPRtor sports usage
CUSTOrial,ISEsic, swimming n mo
& Hearing Aid Clinic
OCCU PATIONAL H ROGRAMMES
CONSERVATssessments. Assessment of etry
aise m udio
Workplace no irements. Occupational a
protecti on requ
PY FO R
SOFT L ASER THERA TINNITUS 26 GRAND PARADE, CORK 021 4271351
T HE TREATME
GRAHAM M. QUIN BE MSc (Audiology) Dip SHWW Dip Env Eng CEng MIEI MIOSH Consulting Audioligist
FREE HEARING TEST
Offer valid from today until February 25, 2011
This is a wonderful opportunity to have your hearing evaluated by the top people in their field
Government grant of up to €1,520 for P.R.S.I. contributors and their spouses
PHONE 021 4271351 AN APPOINTMENT SAVES TIME
Feelgood FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 11, 2011