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Alison Shockley
English 4500                               Unit Plan                             December 13, 2005

                             Looking at the World through My Own Lens

Context: This is a senior honors class of 25 students, who have previously read Romeo and Juliet and
just recently finished Chris Crutcher‟s Chinese Handcuffs. They have been keeping response journals all
semester and have completed a formal five-paragraph essay on Romeo and Juliet.

Unit Overview:
    Day One -- This lesson is a Socratic seminar in which students explore ideas discussed in
       Crutcher‟s Chinese Handcuffs and connect these ideas with their beliefs and personal
       experiences.
    Day Two – The purpose of this lesson is to generate ideas through discussion and role play for a
       creative writing assignment in which students create an alternate ending for Romeo and Juliet,
       inspired by the endings of Chinese Handcuffs and “Brutal Interlude.”
    Day Three – The focus of this lesson is on outlining and beginning the rough drafts of the
       students‟ alternate endings.
    Day Four – This focus of this lesson is on revising the “alternate endings” by adding descriptive
       language.
    Day Five – This lesson focuses on revising and improving the “alternate endings” by adding
       vivid comparisons and imagery.

Evaluation:
    Day One – On this day, the students will be given a participation grade based on their
       participation in the Socratic seminar and on their note taking during the discussion. I will take up
       the handout (Day One, Attachment Two) and give students a “plus” or a “minus.” Only those
       who take no notes and say nothing during the discussion will receive a “minus.”
    Day Two –- The students will be evaluated based on their participation in the role-play activity
       and class discussion with a “plus” or “minus.” Only those who contribute nothing will receive a
       “minus.”
    Day Three – The students will be given a rubric on this day. Their rough drafts, which will be
       completed for homework, will be evaluated according to this rubric the following day. The
       students will also hand in their time-lines and will be given a “plus” or “minus” participation
       grade for completing this timeline.
       Day Four – After the group revision sessions, the students will hand in the notes in
        which they recorded their advice for their peers and recorded their peers‟ advice. The
        students will receive a “plus” or “minus” participation grade for these notes.
       Day Five – The students‟ revised drafts will be taken up at the end of class. These will
        be given a daily participation grade of a “plus” or “minus.” Only those papers without
        five vivid comparisons (similes or metaphors) will receive a score of “minus.”
                                                                                                      -2-
Alison Shockley                                Day One
English 4500                             Prewriting Lesson Plan                               Fall 2005

                              Our View of the World: A Socratic Seminar
Time: 90 minutes
National Standards: (11) Students participate as knowledgeable, reflective, creative, and critical
       members of a variety of literacy communities; (12) Students use spoken, written, and visual
       language to accomplish their own purposes (e.g., for learning, enjoyment, persuasion, and the
       exchange of information).
TN Learning Expectations: Practice a variety of prewriting activities to generate focus and organize
       ideas (primary). Continue to respond actively and imaginatively to literature (secondary).
Materials Needed: Pen/pencil, paper, marker, dry erase board, Crutcher‟s Chinese Handcuffs.
Motivation: Students will enjoy this lesson because they will be actively engaged in a discussion about
       how the issues addressed in the book relate to their own lives. Students will be able to explore
       their own views about life events and will find that there are no wrong or right answers in this
       discussion. Through listening and sharing with their classmates, the students will generate ideas
       about the novel and about their own experience.
Instruction: The teacher will guide a Socratic Seminar discussion over Chinese Handcuffs. The teacher
       will explain that each student should listen to his/her classmates and respect their opinions and
       mention that in this discussion there are no right or wrong answers. The teacher will encourage all
       students to participate. During the discussion, the teacher will ask questions that stimulate
       student responses and the flow of ideas (see Attachment One). At times, the teacher will refer to a
       quotation from the book (see Attachment One) in order to encourage additional student
       discussion or to guide the discussion in a new direction. The teacher will encourage students to
       write down important ideas discussed during the seminar on the “ideas worksheet” (see
       Attachment Two).
Methods:
    1. The teacher arranges the students‟ desks in one large circle for the discussion so all students can
       be seen and heard. (prior to class)
    2. The teacher displays three quotations from novel on board (Attachment One). (prior to class)
    3. The teacher asks two volunteers to share their favorite part of Chinese Handcuffs.
    4. The teacher explains the rules and purpose of the discussion and encourages participation (5
       minutes)
    5. The teacher reads the first quotation from Chinese Handcuffs, page 110. This quotation is the one
       in which Coach Sherman tells Dillon why she never got married (see Quote One, Attachment
       One). (3 minutes)
    6. The teacher asks students to respond to Coach Sherman‟s point, enabling the students to take
       control of the direction of the conversation. If no responses are volunteered, the teacher will ask
       preplanned questions from Attachment One. (15 minutes)
    7. The teacher reads the other quotations, asks questions, and guides the direction of discussion
       while students respond to the questions and quotations, writing down comments that are
       particularly meaningful to them. (50 minutes)
    8. The students review the comments they have written down. (3 minutes)
    9. The teacher asks for volunteers to share one revelation from the discussion that was
       particularly interesting to them and to explain why they found it interesting. (7 minutes)
  10. Students write in their journal about their view of life, romance, or adults or respond to any issue
      raised by the novel. (5 minutes)
Homework or Follow-up: For tonight‟s homework, students will read Ron Koertge‟s “Brutal Interlude”
      and complete “Attachment Three / Questions on „Brutal Interlude.‟”
                                                                                            -3-
Day One
Attachment One
                                      Teacher’s Script
                           Socratic Seminar on Chinese Handcuffs

Quotation One (pg. 110)
       “All my life I was told by my parents and my teachers and my friends how women were
       supposed to be, but I could never pull it off because it wasn’t how I was…I spent the
       whole time thinking something was wrong with me because I wouldn’t play the game the
       way it was laid out. One of the reasons I became a teacher was to see if I could change
       that for some kids.”
   1. What point is Coach Sherman trying to make?
   2. Do you agree with her point?
   3. Is there actually a certain way all women or all men are supposed to act, or are we
       supposed to do what feels right for us?
   4. What is an example of a time in which you or someone you know acted in a way society
       might label strange or unorthodox? Was this a positive experience?
   5. Does society and the media paint life and relationships unrealistically?
   6. What are some of the negative results of these ideal worlds and relationships society
       creates? Are there any positive results?
   7. How do you feel about what the Coach is saying to Dillon? How does this quotation
       relate to your life and your experiences? Is it encouraging or discouraging?

Quotation Two (pp. 88-89)
       “Who do you know that has a marriage that you want yours to be like?”
               I thought a minute. No surprise to you that my mind didn’t go directly to Mom
       and Dad. The only one that came to mind was her folks’, so I said that.
               She laughed. “That’s the best you can do? My parents have stayed together
       because they ignore each other about eighty-five percent of the time…They don’t get
       along really well. They never talk about anything they can fight about. If my parents’
       life were a food, it would be soggy rice cakes.”

   1. Whose marriage would you like to have? Do you actually know much about this
       marriage?
   2. Is there such thing as a perfect marriage?
   3. Why do you think so many people today get divorced?
   4. Would you rather fight with your spouse or just not talk about hot-button issues? Why?
   5. Are arguments/disagreements always a bad thing?
   6. Has this passage changed your view about relationships? How?
   7. How does this relate to what Coach Sherman says on pg. 110 about her relationship with
       the reporter? What can we learn from Coach Sherman‟s relationship?
   8. What images of marriage are painted by our society? Are these realistic?
   9. How do real marriages differ from the ones in movies and TV shows?
   10. What problems do you face in romantic relationships and dating? Are these a result of
       unrealistic expectations?
                                                                                            -4-


Quotation Three (pg. 68)
       The sweeter something looks, the uglier it really is.

   1. Do you find any truth to this observation? What are some examples that apply?
   2. Can you name something that looks “sweet” and really is? Something with no hidden
      secrets or problems?
   3. How does this statement apply to your life? Are there people you know who seem
      perfect but have hidden secrets? Do you have hidden secrets?
   4. How does this statement connect with the overall message of Chinese Handcuffs?
   5. What does this statement teach us?
   6. How might we look at life differently, “through our own lens,” to see it more
      realistically?
   7. How are we trained to look at things? In what ways should we adjust our “vision”?
   8. What are some things we are supposed to see as good that aren‟t? Parents? Adults?
      Leaders? The government? Laws?

Quotation Four (pg. 86)
       “You don’t know anything about love…There are so many crazy things, dangerous things
       sometimes, that we’re taught to call love…There are too many tricks, Dillon. Too many
       tricks,” and I remembered hearing Jen say almost those exact same words. “Things have
       the wrong names. Remember that time a long time ago when I showed you those Chinese
       Handcuffs?…I got them from this gypsy lady. She told me they were a secret of
       life…When you’re a kid, you think you can pull hard enough to get them off, but Arnold
       Schwarzenegger couldn’t get those things off his fingers. You have to do exactly the
       opposite what it seems you should do. You have to let go…I think life is like that a lot,
       way more than we know. And I think love is particularly like that. We think we’re
       supposed to fight for it when we’re really supposed to let go.”

   1. Do you think life is like Chinese handcuffs?
   2. When in life have you fought hard when you should have let go?
   3. Do you think it is easy to let go? What does it mean to “let go”? What do you lose?
      What might you gain?
   4. Do you agree with Stacey about love being like Chinese handcuffs? What makes you
      feel this way?
   5. What misconceptions about love do you have that you should let go of?
                                                                                   -5-
Day One
Attachment Two
                                Ideas Worksheet
         **During today’s discussion, write down ideas that strike you as particularly
interesting or important. You might want to write down ideas from your classmates that
differ from your own and ponder these later.
My ideas:
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My classmates‟ ideas:
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                                                                                           -6-
   Day One
   Attachment Three
                            Questions on “Brutal Interlude”
   **Directions: After reading “Brutal Interlude,” answer the following questions. Each answer
   should be two to three sentences. Use specific examples from the text to answer the
   questions when possible.

1. What lesson or lessons does “Brutal Interlude” teach about love?




2. How is “Brutal Interlude” similar to Chinese Handcuffs in its treatment of the
   issue of young romance?




3. What connections do you see between “Brutal Interlude” and our theme for
   this unit “Looking at the World through My Own Lens”?




4. What does “Brutal Interlude” suggest about appearances versus reality?




5. One of the main differences between Romeo and Juliet’s relationship and Lori
   and Lincoln’s relationship is that Lori and Lincoln were together long enough
   to really learn about each other. Make a list of seven hypothetical things that
   Romeo and Juliet don’t know about each other that might lead to future
   disagreements or problems. (Please keep these things appropriate, as you
   may be required to share your list with the me and the class.)
                                                                                                    -7-

Alison Shockley                                 Day Two                                      Fall 2005
English 4500                                Prewriting Lesson Plan

                         Looking at Love through Their Eyes: A Role Play

Time: 90 minutes
National Standards: (11) Students participate as knowledgeable, reflective, creative, and critical
        members of a variety of literacy communities; (12) Students use spoken, written, and visual
        language to accomplish their own purposes (e.g., for learning, enjoyment, persuasion, and the
        exchange of information).
TN Learning Expectations: Practice a variety of prewriting activities to generate focus and organize
        ideas (primary). Continue to respond actively and imaginatively to literature (secondary).
Materials Needed: Pen/pencil, marker, dry erase board, Koertge‟s “Brutal Interlude.”
Motivation: Students will enjoy this lesson because it will allow them to explore the characters
from
        “Brutal Interlude” and Romeo and Juliet by examining their relationships, hypothesizing
        about how they would react in certain situations, and creating skits in which they play
        these characters. This lesson will require the students to step into the character‟s minds
        and look at the world through their eyes. The students will be actively involved and will
        enjoy looking at these characters as if they were real people.
Instruction: The teacher will lead a discussion on “Brutal Interlude,” the previous night‟s
        assigned reading, asking for responses to the text. The teacher will ask students to share
        their lists on the various things Romeo and Juliet do not know about each other (see
        question five on Day One/Attachment Three). The teacher will lead a discussion on
        possible arguments that might arise when Romeo and Juliet discover these things about
        each other. Next, the teacher will assign the students into small groups of three or four,
        pass out instructions for a role play (see Attachment Two), and allow the students fifteen
         minutes to prepare their skits. The teacher will then ask each group to perform their skit.
        After the skits are performed, the teacher will use the remaining time to discuss the students‟
        thoughts on the skits and the practicality of each scenario.
Methods:
    1. The teacher introduces a discussion on “Brutal Interlude” by asking students to connect the
        story with Chinese Handcuffs (see Attachment One). (7 minutes)
    2. The teacher leads a discussion on the story‟s comments about romance and the story‟s
        connection with Romeo and Juliet (see Attachment One). (7 minutes)
    3. The students share their ideas on what Romeo and Juliet‟s relationship would be like if they
        had stayed together longer and learned more about each other (see Attachment One). (12
        minutes)
    4. The teacher divides the class into six groups—five groups with four members and one group
        of five members—and passes out instructions for the role-play assignment. (5 minutes)
    5. The students prepare their one to two minute skits. Each member has a specific role he must
        fulfill: Reporter, Narrator, or Actor/Actress (see Attachment Two). (20 minutes)
    6. Each group performs their skit. (20 minutes)
    7. The teacher asks students to give their reactions to the skits, discussing which skits they find
        realistic and which skits they found absurd. (15 minutes)
    8. Students write a journal response to the following prompt: “Do you think Romeo and Juliet
        knew enough about each other to make such great sacrifices for love?”
Homework/Follow-up: For homework tonight, the students will write a letter from Lori to Juliet in
which Lori gives Juliet advice on “love at first sight.” In this letter, Lori should use specific lessons
she has learned from her relationship with Lincoln. This letter should be about two paragraphs long
with at least seven sentences per paragraph. These letters will be incorporated in Day Three‟s lesson.
                                                                                    -8-

Day Two
Attachment 1
                                  Teacher’s Script
   Introducing the Story
        Yesterday, we discussed how Chinese Handcuffs presents many different
          ways to view the world.
        Can anyone remind us one thing Chinese Handcuffs suggested about love
          and romantic relationships?
        Last night, I asked you to answer some questions in response to “Brutal
          Interlude.” When answering those questions, what connections were you able
          to find between C.H. and “B.I.”?
        What is a theme or moral from “B.I.”?
        Why do you thing Lori has decided to break up with Lincoln?

Connecting “Brutal Interlude” with Romeo and Juliet
      After dating Lincoln for a while, she learns that she is only attracted to him
         because of his physical appearance. She learns her infatuation for him has
         merely been lust. She starts to realize that she and Lincoln have little in
         common, and, in fact, she doesn’t even like his personality.
      What attributes/characteristics of Lincoln bother Lori?
      Last night, you each made a list of things Romeo and Juliet did not have time
         to learn about each other. Who would like to share their list?
      Are there any other things you think Romeo and Juliet might need to know
         about each other before making a commitment to one another?
      What conflicts might arise as Romeo and Juliet learn more about each other?
      Do you think they have much in common?
      Do you think they might fall out of love with each other like Lori and Lincoln?

Role Play activity
    Keep the information we have just discussed in mind because you are now going
      to be divided into groups for a role-play activity.
    Each group will create a scenario, based on our discussion of the potential
      disputes that will arise between Romeo and Juliet, and act out this scene in order
      to show us how Romeo and Juliet might feel about each other once they learn
      more about each other. Your skit should only be about one or two minutes long,
      but you will have 20 minutes to prepare the scenario and write out the dialogue.
    There will be five groups of four people and one group of five people. If you want
      to involve more than two people in the actual acting of the skit, feel free to add
      discussions between Romeo and his friends, Juliet and her parents, etc.


                                                                         Abbreviations:
                                                               C.H.= Chinese Handcuffs
                                                                  B.I.= Brutal Interlude
                                                                                         -9-
Day Two
Attachment Two
                    Instructions for Group Role Play Activity

      Create a one to two minute skit, exploring the potential problems
       that would arise in Romeo and Juliet’s relationship had it lasted
       longer. Your dialogue should reflect the surprise, the anger, the
       sadness, etc. of the characters.

Scenarios:
 The following are suggestions for scenarios. If you would like to use one of the
scenarios discussed in class, just let me know.
            Group One – Juliet has just found out about Romeo’s former crush with
              Roselyn. She is jealous and upset. How does she react?
            Group Two – Romeo and Juliet are on a picnic and discover the have
              nothing to talk about because they share no common interests.
            Group Three – Romeo wants to make dinner for Juliet as a romantic
              gesture but finds that she does not like any thing he has cooked.
            Group Four – Juliet feels neglected by Romeo because he spends all of
              his time having sword fights with his friends.
            Group Five – Romeo and Juliet are trying to pick out a song that they both
              feel represents their love but cannot seem to disagree.
            Group Six – Lucky you! You get to create your own scenario in which
              Romeo and Juliet get into an argument and discover something they
              never knew about their lover.

Everyone must participate in this activity. Each group member will take on one of the
following roles and will also provide ideas as the skit is being created.
        Reporter – Your job is to record the dialogue so that the characters know
           what to say.
        Narrator – You will give a brief introduction before the actors perform the skit
           so that we all understand what’s going on in this scene.
        Actor One, Two, (and possibly) Three – You must take on the role of a
           specific character (Romeo, Juliet, or one of their friends) and play that role to
           the best of your ability!
                                                                                                   - 10 -
Alison Shockley                                 Day Three                                     Fall 2005
English 4500
                                       My Version of the Story
Time: 90 minutes
National Standards: (11) Students participate as knowledgeable, reflective, creative, and critical
        members of a variety of literacy communities; (12) Students use spoken, written, and visual
        language to accomplish their own purposes (e.g., for learning, enjoyment, persuasion, and the
        exchange of information).
TN Learning Expectations: Write frequently for a variety of purposes such as narration,
        description, persuasion, exposition, and personal, creative expression (primary). Develop
        organized writing containing focused, well-developed ideas (secondary).
Materials Needed: Pen/Pencil, Paper, Dry Erase Board, marker, copies of Romeo and Juliet and
        “Brutal Interlude.”
Motivations: Students will enjoy this lesson because they will be creating their own fictional,
        “alternate endings” to Romeo and Juliet. The students will enjoy creating their own original
        scenarios, settings, and dialogues in order to show what Romeo and Juliet could learn about
        each other if they had had not committed suicide. They will also enjoy working in groups
        and sharing ideas with their classmates, as these activities will enhance their stories.
Instruction: The teacher will review yesterday‟s activities in order to introduce today‟s activities.
        The teacher will ask each student to find a partner and have each student read the letter
        written for homework from Lori to Juliet (see Lesson Plan, Day Two) to his/her partner. The
        teacher will lead a discussion in which the students list the advice given by Lori to Juliet.
        The teacher will explain the students‟ writing assignment, which ties to Day Two‟s lesson,
        and will give instructions for “timelining” the plots of their stories. The teacher will divide
        the students into pairs and allow them time to work on their timelines and drafts. The teacher
        will monitor the students‟ progress and give advice and ideas. The teacher will encourage
        creativity and originality.
Methods:
    1. The teacher will review yesterday‟s activities by asking questions and leading discussion (see
        Attachment One). (5 minutes)
    2. The teacher will explain today‟s writing activity and hand out a rubric explaining the
        requirements (see Attachment One and Attachment Two). (10 minutes)
    3. The teacher will divide students into groups of two (See Day Two). (3 minutes)
    4. Each student will read the letter he/she wrote for last night‟s homework aloud to his/her
        partner. (7 minutes)
    5. The teacher will ask students what advice from Lori they found useful or meaningful. (5
        minutes)
    6. The teacher will explain how to create a plot time-line and will then guide the class in
        making a timeline for “Brutal Interlude” (see Attachment One). (10 minutes)
    7. Individually, the students will work on their timeline, plotting the events of their story as they
        wish them to occur. (15 minutes)
    8. The students will reunite with their partner (from step 4) and discuss their timelines. (5
        minutes)
    9. Each student will give his/her partner feedback about the organization and ordering of the
        events. (5 minutes)
    10. The students will spend the rest of the class period writing their “alternate endings,”
        referencing the requirements of the assignment on Attachment Two. (25 minutes)
Homework/Follow-up: The students will finish the rough drafts of their creative endings for home-
        work, as tomorrow the story will be shared with their classmates and revised. The teacher
         will grade these rough drafts at the end of day four, according to the rubric given on day
        three (Attachment Two).
                                                                                              - 11 -
Day Three
Attachment One
                                      Teacher’s Script
Review and Warm-Up
      Yesterday, you were involved in a role-play activity where each of you created
       hypothetical scenarios in which Romeo and Juliet may have found themselves had they
       taken more time to get to know each other before committing suicide.
      What were some of the issues you proposed might create conflict between R&J?
      Do you think these arguments would lead them to break-up or would they be able to
       overcome these problems?

Introducing Today’s topic of Writing an Alternate Ending to R&J
      So far, you have all done a great job in exploring Romeo and Juliet’s relationship
       through these scenarios. Today, we are going to begin writing an alternate ending for
       R&J. You will be writing your draft, your own ending to the play, on your own, in the
       form of a short story. You can and should use your imagination for this assignment.
       You can place them in present day America if you want or in any setting you desire.
      In these stories, I want you to explore the possible issues or conflicts that might arise as
       Romeo and Juliet get to know each other better, as you have in your skits.
      I am handing out a rubric to explain the things you must consider when writing your first
       draft.
      Your story must include the following things:
                     A situation in which some conflict arises
                     A conflict, around which the story is centered
                     Description of setting
                     Use of dialogue to convey the character’s feelings
                     A clear and organized plot
                     Originality and creativity
      I urge you to be creative and to use humor and imagination as you write your stories.
       You should enjoy writing this story, so make the subject matter and the dialogue
       something you find interesting. If you are passionate about the story then we are more
       likely to enjoy it.

   Creating a Time-line for the Plot
      It is very helpful to make a time-line before you write your story so that the events of your
       story are organized in a rational and effective way.
      Making a plot time-line is simple.
      First, draw a horizontal line. It would probably be best to turn your paper on its side so
       you have more room. Like this, demonstrate.
      Next, you simply list the events in the order they occur.
      I would advise you to write above each event, the setting where that event takes place
       so that you will remember to include these details in your story.
      Now let’s make an example time-line for “Brutal Interlude.”
      How and where does the story start?
      What happened next? Then what? Etc.
      (I will diagram this horizontally as they name the events.)
      Good job. Now, you are ready to make an original time-line for your own story.
                                                               - 12 -
Day Three
Attachment Two
                 Rubric for the “Alternate Ending”

Creates and describes a scenario in
which Romeo or Juliet discovers
something he/she didn’t know about                   20 %
his/her lover.


The PLOT is effective and
interesting, and the events occur in                 15 %
a logical ORDER.


The SETTING of each scenario is
described.
                                                     10 %


There is a CONFLICT between the
characters that gets resolved in some                15 %
way by the end.



There is DIALOGUE between the
characters, allowing the reader to                   15 %
understand the character’s emotional
reactions to the conflict.


The story is IMAGINATIVE and
ORIGINAL.
                                                     25 %


Notes:
    I have capitalized the keywords so that you can quickly
     identify the requirements.

      This assignment will be given a score, out of a possible of
       100 points, based on how well it meets the requirements
       stated above.
                                                                                                    - 13 -
Alison Shockley                               Day Four                                      Fall 2005
English 4500                            Post-writing Lesson Plan

                                  Let’s Have a Closer Look: Revising
Time: 90 minutes
National Standards: (11) Students participate as knowledgeable, reflective, creative, and critical
       members of a variety of literacy communities; (12) Students use spoken, written, and visual
       language to accomplish their own purposes (e.g. for learning, enjoyment, persuasion, and the
       exchange of information).
TN Learning Expectations: Evaluate and revise writing to focus on purpose, organization,
       development, transitions, unity, and audience awareness (primary). Demonstrate effective
       writing style by the use of vivid words, a variety of sentence structures, and appropriate
       transitions (secondary).
Material: Pen/pencil, paper, marker, dry erase board, copies of R&J and “Brutal Interlude,” students‟
       rough drafts of their creative endings, and 26 copies of Attachments 1, 2, and3.
Motivation: Students will enjoy this lesson because it allows them the opportunity to improve the
       quality of their creative writing by adding descriptive elements. The students will experience the
       joys of creating and revising their own works while also counseling with their peers.
Instruction: The teacher will conduct a mini-lesson on descriptive language, briefly covering vivid
       words and adjectives (see Attachment One). The teacher will read examples of descriptive
       language from “Brutal Interlude” and guide a discussion of what these examples add (see
       Attachment Two). The teacher will explain the students‟ assignment to revise their alternate
       ending” by adding descriptive language to every paragraph. The teacher will assign peer groups,
       composed of three students each, in which the students will read their drafts aloud and discuss
       possible places where vivid language can be added. The teacher will monitor group discussions
       and answer individual questions. The teacher will encourage creativity and participation.
Methods:
    1. The teacher asks the students to write down as many one-word descriptions of their weekend as
       they can in one minute, providing three examples: busy, exciting, inspirational. (2 minutes)
    2. The teacher introduces the concept of descriptive language through a mini-lesson entitled “Let‟s
       Have a Closer Look” (see Attachment One). (15 minutes)
    3. The teacher reads passages from “Brutal Interlude” (see Attachment Two) and leads a discussion
       on what descriptive language adds to the text. (15 minutes)
    4. The students will examine their own “alternate endings” and identify places to add descriptive
       language. The students can reference Attachments One and Three for instructions and hints for
       revising. (10 minutes)
    5. The students revise their drafts by inserting descriptive language into the selected areas (see
       Attachment Three). (10 minutes)
    6. The teacher assigns students into three-person groups and gives instructions for the group task
       (see Attachment Three). (3 minutes)
    7. The student reads aloud his/her draft to the group and the others provide feedback about the
       descriptive language by answering the questions on Attachment Three. This step is repeated
       three times for each student. (30 minutes)
    8. The group picks one especially well-written and descriptive sentence from each person‟s story to
       share with the class. (5 minutes)
    9. The students use any remaining time to continue revising their endings and looking for places to
       add descriptive language and vivid words. (Extra Time)
Homework or Follow-up: Students will continue to revise this story, adding more descriptive language
       according to the suggestions of their peers and teacher. After other writing mini-lessons are
       covered, the students will re-examine their story and revise accordingly.
                                                                                          - 14 -
Day Four
Attachment One
                                           Teacher’s Script
                Let‟s Have a Closer Look: Mini-lesson on “Descriptive Language”
       Write down as many one-word descriptions as you can about your weekend. Here are
        three words that describe mine: busy, exciting, inspirational.
       Will someone please share the word that best describes your weekend?
       Can anyone tell me what these words have in common: “boring, uneventful, magnificent,
        quick.” Correct, they are all adjectives. (Review information)
            o An adjective is a word that describes a noun; adjectives add additional
                information about the word or words they describe, such as: How many?
                What kind? What color? When? How frequently?
            o You already know about adjectives but it is very important to remember to
                use adjectives when you write. Adding this additional information makes
                your sentences more enjoyable and informative to the reader, often allowing
                your reader to picture the thing you are describing in his/her head.


● Now, let‟s look at the descriptive language used in “Brutal Interlude.”

    o Read Quote One from Attachment Two.
    o Lori uses interesting verbs in describing Lincoln‟s actions, like “paws” and “chomping.”
    o These vivid verbs convey the animal nature of Lincoln.
            o I want you to remember these vivid, unusual verbs when you are revising
                your story.
            o It is important to vary the verbs you use. Many writers use ―is,‖ ―are,‖
                ―was,‖ and ―were‖ too much, and the result is that their sentences are not as
                striking to the reader as this passage is.
            o When possible, make an effort to use strong, interesting verbs like:
                                               Grabs
                                               Pushes
                                               Sighs
                                               Declares
                                               Whispers
                                               Dances
                                               Ponders
        Instead of overused verbs like:
                                               Says
                                               Is
                                                                                         - 15 -
                                         Puts
                                         Thinks
      Also, it is best to avoid using passive voice, such as:
                     o   Was found --(instead, say)-- I discovered the solution.
                     o   Was finished ------------- She finished the project.
                     o   Was created -------------- He created the monster.
                     o   Was thought ------------ Tori pondered the subject long and hard.

      Using strong, descriptive, and unusual verbs adds variety to your writing and
      enhances its quality.
   o Discuss additional benefits of descriptive language through the discussion of “Brutal
     Interlude” on Attachment Two.


Instructions for Individual Revisions:
      ■ Now, take about 20 minutes to read and revise your rough drafts.
      ■ As you read, pay attention to the ways you have described the setting and the
         characters of your story.
                     ◙ Have you used adjectives to describe the landscape, the characters’
                      appearances, etc.?
                     ◙ If you haven’t, look for places to add these things.
                     ◙ Underline these places.
      ■ Also, pay attention to your use of verbs.
                     ◙ Are your verbs active or passive?
                     ◙ Could your writing be enhanced through using more descriptive
                         and unusual verbs?
                     ◙ Put stars next to verbs you think could be changed and improved.


      ■ Now that you have identified places to add descriptive language, it is time to
          revise your paper, adding these words and descriptions wherever necessary!
                                                                                        - 16 -
Day Four
Attachment Two
                               Let’s Have a Closer Look
Descriptive Quotations from Ron Koertge’s “Brutal Interlude” and possible prompting
questions for discussion:

   “The he goes right to the refrigerator. Our refrigerator. He paws through it,
    grabs a little plate with a wedge of cheese on it, and carries that into the TV
    room. He looks funny holding it, funny eating it. Chomping away. I’m
    wondering if that was going to be our dinner. Mine and Mom’s. With some
    grapes and pita bread. A glass of wine for her, iced tea for me. Too late now”
    (21).
       1. What makes this passage particularly interesting?
       2. In what unusual ways does Lori describe Lincoln?
       3. Do these descriptions create mental images in your head of Lincoln?
       4. What is the effect of these unusual descriptions?


   “He grins. Perfect teeth. Killer cheekbones. People stare at him on the street.
    Not just girls, either. Women. Moms. Somebody’s mom who wants to do I-
    don’t-know-what to him. Maybe just gaze. Maybe get a room at the Hilton and
    give him a bath, then go home and make a meat loaf for the family” (21).
       1. What is your reaction to this passage?
       2. What does it communicate about Lori’s feelings for Lincoln?
       3. Is this passage effective? What specific words make this passage effective?


   “We’re in the Pit at school. Junk food dispensers along one wall. Tables with
    graffiti-proof tops all covered with names and gang signs—who’s in love,
    who’s been had, who’d better watch out, who’d better not cry” (24).
       1. What is the significance of the “graffiti-proof” tables? What irony is illustrated
            by this example?
       2. What does this passage illustrate about romantic relationships? How does it
            illustrate this?
       3. What is your reaction to this passage? What do you like about it?
                                                                                     - 17 -
Day Four
Attachment Three
                                   Instruction Sheet
Today’s Topic: “Let’s Take a Closer Look”
► Here are your instructions for taking a closer look at your alternate ending of Romeo
and Juliet.
► Individual Revisions (20 minutes)
       Instructions:
       ► Reread your draft .
       ► Mark places where adjectives are needed.
       ► Circle ineffective verbs or passive verbs.
       ► Mark possible places to add comparisons or similes.
       ► Go back and add these elements when possible.


►Peer Group Discussion (30 minutes)
       Instructions:
       ► One person reads their draft aloud while the other two listen.
                    ► As you listen, consider the following:
                           1. What parts of the story are unclear?
                           2. What parts need to be reworded?
                           3. What places need more descriptive language?
       ► After each person reads, discuss each story and give feedback for
       improvement. Be respectful, considerate, and positive.
       ►Repeat this process until all group members have read their stories aloud.


       ◙◙ Record advice from your peers here:
                                                                                                   - 18 -
    Alison Shockley                            Day Five                                       Fall 2005
    English 4500                        Post-writing Lesson Plan

                                      I Spy—Simile and Metaphor
Time: 90 minutes
National Standards: (11) Students participate as knowledgeable, reflective, creative, and critical
       members of a variety of literacy communities; (12) Students use spoken, written, and visual
       language to accomplish their own purposes (e.g. for learning, enjoyment, persuasion, and the
       exchange of information).
TN Learning Expectations: Evaluate and revise writing to focus on purpose, organization,
       development, transitions, unity, and audience awareness (primary). Demonstrate effective
       writing style by the use of vivid words, a variety of sentence structures, and appropriate
       transitions (secondary).
Material: Pen/pencil, paper, marker, dry erase board, copies of R&J and “Brutal Interlude,” students‟
       rough drafts of their creative endings.
Motivation: Students will enjoy this lesson because it allows them the opportunity to improve the
       quality of their creative writing by adding descriptive elements. The students will experience the
       joys of creating and revising their own works while also counseling with their peers. The
       students will also enjoy having their own works compared with those of famous writers like
       Shakespeare.
Instruction: The teacher will introduce today‟s revision topic “I Spy—Simile and Metaphor” with a
       mini-lesson which briefly defines the terms. The teacher will challenge the students to search the
       quotations on Attachment Two from Romeo and Juliet for the presence of simile and metaphor.
       The teacher will, then, guide the students in some imaginative exercises where they learn to
       invent their own similes and metaphors. The teacher will monitor the students as they revise their
       works and add vivid comparisons to enhance their stories. The teacher will monitor students as
       they discuss and share their vivid comparisons with their classmates. The teacher will encourage
       creativity and originality.
Methods:
   1. The teacher begins class with a mini-lesson on simile and metaphor (see Attachment
      One). (10 minutes)
   2. The students search the quotations from Romeo and Juliet, circling all similes and
      underlining all metaphors (see Attachment Two). (10 minutes)
   3. The teacher reads the quotations aloud from Attachment Two, line for line, stopping after
      every line and asking the students to identify the simile or metaphor found in that line.
      (15 minutes)
   4. The teacher finishes the mini-lesson on vivid comparisons by leading the students in
      some imaginative exercises (see Attachment One). (10 minutes)
   5. The students examine their “alternate endings” and add simile and metaphor to their
      descriptions of characters and into their dialogue (See oral instructions on Attachment
      One). (20 minutes)
   6. The teacher divides the students into groups of three and hands out instructions for group
      discussion and revision (see Attachment Three). (5 minutes)
   7. Each student reads the revised sections of his/her story aloud and receives feedback from
      his peers about the effectiveness of the comparisons. Each person will answer the
      questions on Attachment Three in order to give feedback to his/her peers. This process is
      repeated until all members have shared their comparisons aloud and received feedback.
      (20 minutes).
Evaluation: The teacher will take-up the revised drafts at the end of class. These will be given a
      daily participation grade of a “plus” or “minus.” Only those papers without five vivid
      comparisons (similes or metaphors) will receive a score of “minus.”
                                                                                             - 19 -
Homework/Follow-up: For homework tonight, the students will make a list of three similes
the Romeo of their stories would describe Juliet and a list of three metaphors their Juliet would
use to describe how she feels about Romeo. This will be collected and/or discussed the next day.


Day Five
Attachment One
                                I Spy…Simile and Metaphor!
                                      Teacher’s Script

   o How many of you have ever played the game “I spy”?
   o Well, today, we are going to play “I spy” as we peruse through a famous poem and
     look for descriptive comparisons. Before we begin our game, let me tell you what
     you are looking for.
   o You will be searching for similes and metaphors.
   o Can anyone tell me what a simile is?
   o A simile is a comparison of two seemingly unrelated things, which uses the words
     “like” or “as.”
         o Her singing is like the wild moan of a cat in labor.
         o This is an example of a simile.
   o Does anyone know what a metaphor is?
   o A metaphor is also a comparison of to seemingly unrelated things but it does not use
     the words “like” or “as” but instead just says something is something else.
         o Songs often use metaphors to describe love.
         o “Love is a rose / but you better not pick it / it only grows when its on the
            vine.”
         o Johnny Cash‟s famous metaphor:
                 “Love is a burning thing, and it makes a fiery ring.”
         o These are examples of metaphor.
   o Can you name any commonly used metaphors or similes?
         o Busy as a Bee
         o Sharp as a Tack
         o She‟s an angel, etc.

●☻ Now, we are ready to play “I Spy…” and look for as many similes and metaphors as we
   can find in Act Four of Romeo and Juliet, when Capulet discovers Juliet cold body and
   assumes she is dead.

(****Pass out Attachment Two, Quotations form R&J. Allow students 10 minutes to
complete this exercise.****)

Imaginative exercises:

    Now, let‟s practice making our own vivid comparisons. I want everyone to look
       down and examine your socks for 15 seconds. If you are not wearing socks, please
       close your eyes and imagine your favorite pair of socks.
                                                                                     - 20 -
   Now, consider the color, texture, and condition of your socks and think of ways to
    connect your socks with some object, creature, or thing.
       o You may want to word your comparisons like this…
                 My socks look like …
                 My socks feel like …
                 My socks are …
 Write down any metaphors or similes you have come up with to describe your socks.
       o I’ll give you an example: ―My socks look like a sick candy cane.‖ Here I
           compare my socks to a sick candy cane. This simile is useful because it
           creates stunning visuals for the reader and can also provide humor. My
           reader can now guess that my socks have red and light green stripes,
           although I did not explicitly say this.
       o Can anyone else think of a way to compare yours socks with something else?
       o Additional example to describe a white sock: ―My socks are the same color
           as a thick snow storm.‖
       o These silly examples show that you can make anything more interesting by
           using descriptive words and phrases to add additional information.
 Now, visualize one of your dearest friends or relatives. It should be someone you
    know very well.
 Write down as many similes or metaphors as you can, comparing your friend with
    something from nature. Maybe your friend is wild like a storm or tender like a kitten
 Would anybody like to share your simile or metaphor?
 Can somebody respond to this comparison and tell him/her what that description
    taught you about his/her friend?
 Good job, everybody!
 Each one of you is ready to begin adding similes and metaphors to your “alternate
    endings.”
 Pay careful attention to my instructions, please! My suggestion as you revise
    your ending is that you pay close attention to the descriptions of the characters
    and the dialogue between the characters. It will be most effective to use simile
    and metaphor when describing the characters and how they feel.
                                                                                        - 21 -
      You will have 20 minutes to revise the draft, adding these comparisons. I will be
       taking this up at the end of class and would like to see at least five vivid comparisons
       in your story.




Day Five
Attachment Two

                               “I Spy…Simile and Metaphor!”

► Examine the following quotations carefully.

► How many similes and metaphors can you find?

► Circle all similes and underline all metaphors!


Quotations:

   o “Ha! Let me see her. Out, alas! she is cold;
     Her blood has settled and her joints are stiff;
     Life and these lips have long been separated.
     Death lies on her like an untimely frost
     Upon the sweetest flower of the field.”

   o “Ready to go, but never to return.
     O son, the night before thy wedding-day
     Hath Death lain with thy wife: see, there she lies,
     Flower as she was, deflowered by him.
     Death is my son-in-law, Death is my heir;
     My daughter he hath wedded: I will die,
     And leave him all; life, living, all is Death‟s.”
                                                                                     - 22 -
Day Four
Attachment Three
                                    Instruction Sheet
Today’s Topic: “I Spy…Simile and Metaphor”
► Here are your instructions for taking a closer look at your alternate ending of Romeo
and Juliet.
► Individual Revisions (20 minutes)
       Instructions:
       ► Brainstorm. Consider ways to describe your characters using simile and
              metaphor.
       ► Read and examine your character descriptions and your dialogue .
       ► Mark places where similes or metaphors are needed.
       ► Go back and add these elements when possible.


►Peer Group Discussion (20minutes)
       Instructions:
       ► One person reads their revisions aloud while the other two listen.
                      ► As you listen, consider the following:
                            1. What comparisons or descriptions are unclear?
                            2. Which comparisons are ineffective?
                            3. Which comparisons are especially powerful?
                            4. What places need more descriptive comparison?
       ► After each person reads, discuss each story and give feedback for
       improvement. Be respectful, considerate, and positive.
       ►Repeat this process until all group members have read their stories aloud.


       ◙◙ Record advice from your peers here:

								
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