Communications and feelings – Identifying feelings Teacher information Students may perform for the whole class Students should be able to identify common or a small group. feelings of people involved in conﬂict. These may include positive and negative feelings; Teachers may like to hold a class e.g. anger, disappointment, fear, frustration, discussion about the feelings of people in conﬁdence, calmness. conﬂict after the presentations. Before completing the activity, students should have an understanding of the terms “win-win,” Discussion points “win-lose,” and “lose-lose” (see page 7 and the Negotiation activities on pages 50 to 61). • What are some common feelings people involved in conﬂict have? Ask the students to ﬁnd partners to work with, • How do they show these feelings? then distribute one copy of the role-plays below to each pair. • Which is the fairest type of outcome to a conﬂict? Why? Encourage the students to use well-structured arguments in their role-plays, as well as gestures, facial expressions, and vocal expressions to indicate their characters’ feelings. Indicators • Shows an understanding of how people feel during conﬂict. • Identiﬁes how people show feelings through words and actions. THE DIARY A and B are good friends. A walks into a room and catches B reading his/her diary. A has never let anyone read the diary—it is private. B has just read some comments about him/her that he/she does not like. Role-play the conﬂict that occurs after A walks into the room. THE BENCH A is new to B’s school. B walks out of his/her classroom at lunchtime to ﬁnd A sitting on the bench where B and his/her gang always sit. B rudely tells A to move. Role-play the conﬂict that occurs when A refuses B’s command. Identifying feelings Read each scenario carefully, then complete the following tasks with your partner. (a) Decide who will play A and B in each scenario. (b) Write three possible endings for each scenario using the headings below; e.g. “A pushes B and then runs away.” Add words to describe how you think A and B would feel about each ending to the conﬂict, considering how fair the outcome is. • a win-win ending (both characters are happy with the outcome – may need compromise) ❑ The Diary ❑ The Bench Feelings: A Feelings: A B B • a win-lose ending (only one character gets what he/she wants) ❑ The Diary ❑ The Bench Feelings: A Feelings: A B B • a lose-lose ending (neither character likes the outcome) ❑ The Diary ❑ The Bench Feelings: A Feelings: A B B (c) Choose one “win-win” ending, one “win-lose” ending, and one “lose-lose” ending to act out. Check the three you choose. Practice your three role-plays. Make sure you say at least ﬁve lines each. Choose your words and actions carefully to Perform your role-plays for the class or a small group. show how your character is feeling. Choose one of the role-plays you performed. Describe how you used words and actions to show your character’s feelings. Communication and feelings – Communication Teacher information Discussion points The three styles of communication are passive, • Discuss what kind of attributes assertive, aggressive, and assertive. passive, and aggressive people may have. • Can a person be passive and assertive, Passive people act as though the rights of depending on the situation? Think about others are more important than theirs. They the student who is quiet at school but very may do something they don’t want to do and assertive when surrounded by younger have an inability to express how they feel. siblings at home. Another student may be very assertive and aggressive on the Aggressive people act as though their rights sports ﬁeld but passive in the classroom. are more important than others. They try to get their own way through bullying or physical • Explain that it is possible for people to violence. practice changing the way they speak (“I” statements) and act (body language); Assertive people respect others and themselves training themselves to be more assertive equally. They stand up for themselves and say or less aggressive. what they think without hurting others. • Show a range of pictures. Discuss whether the person feels good or bad about himself/herself. Students can role-play how they look, act, and speak when they are feeling good or bad about themselves. Indicators • Identiﬁes different styles of communication. • Identiﬁes how he/she communicates. Styles of communication Passive Aggressive Assertive Can you hear me Can you hear me from down Can you hear me from down from down there? there? You’re so short! there? You’re so short! You’re so short! Don’t you I’ll get Stand up straight. Please, please dare call me him! Look him in the go away! short! You’re eyes. an ugly, big Yes, I giant! am short and I’m proud of it! Communication There are three main ways to communicate – passively, assertively, or aggressively. Circle the response that you think is most similar to what your own would be. (ii) “Go and knock over that trash can!” (i) “Move! That’s my chair!” (a) “Umm ... but I’ll get into trouble .... OK, (a) “OK ... I’m sorry.” (passive) all right.” (passive) (b) “I was sitting here ﬁrst. Please ﬁnd (b) “I don’t want to do that. It’s not right.” another chair.” (assertive) (assertive) (c) “Get real! You can go and get your (c) “You knock over the can yourself!” own chair!” (aggressive) (aggressive) (iii) “You are always taking my things without asking. You’re such a thief!” (a) “I know, I’m sorry. I won’t do it again ... sorry.” (passive) (b) “I feel upset when you accuse me of taking your things without asking because I always ask ﬁrst.” (assertive) Anger is (c) “I’m not a thief! You’re a liar!” (aggressive) only one letter short Now that you have read the examples, write a sentence of danger. describing each style of communication. passive assertive aggressive What style of communicator do you think you are? passive/assertive/aggressive (a) Ask two friends. Do they agree? Friend 1 Friend 2 (b) Give an example that shows the type of communicator you are. In pairs, write a short script on the back of this sheet between two people. Decide what type of communicator each person will be ﬁrst. (a) Role-play the discussion and ask another group to try to guess what type of communicator each person is. Here are your choices: • passive + passive • passive + assertive • assertive + assertive • assertive + aggressive • aggressive + aggressive • passive + aggressive (b) Role-play the discussion again but choose a different style of communication for one or both of the people. You will need to change the dialogue to meet the style of communication.