CAMPAIGN AGAINST SEXUAL ASSAULT Being turned down for sex is not a Report the acquaintance sexual assault.
Fact Sheet compiled by the Vancouver Police personal rejection. Discuss the benefits of reporting the assault
Department Your partner may be unwilling to have sex for and offer to accompany the victim. If she or he
A recent study involving date/acquaintance a variety of reasons that have little or nothing is reluctant to report it, ask if you can file an
to do with you. Respect your partner’s limits.
rape and students found that college and uni- anonymous report. Respect the need for pri-
versity students have every reason to be con- Take responsibility for your own body vacy and the desire to talk or not talk about
cerned about sexual assault. Acquaintance and behaviour. the details of the assault.
sexual assault occurs more frequently among You may feel that your desires are beyond your Acknowledge your own feeling of anger,
university-aged students than any other group. control, but your actions are always the result concern, and sadness.
(Alcohol and other drugs and misinterpreted
of your own decisions.
signals contribute to many of the assaults on Seek counselling for yourself to help process
Be aware of your surroundings. your reaction to the assault. Remind the vic-
A national survey on the victimization of If you’re feeling uncomfortable or in danger, tim that your love and friendship for her or
women on university and college campuses trust your intuition and act on it. him remains intact.
found that: Be conscious of your non-verbal message. Avoid saying that you know how the
• 20.2% of female students said they gave into Sometimes your behaviour or appearance may survivor feels.
unwanted sexual intercourse because they be misinterpreted as a sexual invitation. While No one can ever really know how another
were overwhelmed by a man’s continued it’s no excuse for unwanted attention, be aware person feels even if they have experienced the
It can happen to you or someone you know. arguments and pressure; that the possibility of misunderstanding exists. same kind of trauma.
Know the facts. • 6.6% of female students said they had Match your actions with your intentions.
It happens at UBC. unwanted sexual intercourse because a man RESOURCES
Be aware of misperceptions.
threatened or used some degree of physical AMS Sexual Assault Support Centre SASC,
Flirting or sexy dressing are not sexual invita-
By Marlane Press force; 604-822-9090, email email@example.com
tions. If you encounter mixed messages from a
• 13.6% of female students said that, when
partner, talk about it (“I’m not sure what you WAVAW/Rape Crisis Centre, 24-hour crisis
they were drunk or high, a man attempted
First-year university students Sarah and When he climbs on top of her, Sarah rolls In British Columbia, 89% of sexual assault want… ”). Listen to the answer. line, 604-255-6344
unwanted sexual intercourse.
Mark* noticed each other in the cafeteria but over and tells him to stop because she feels ill. victims knew their attackers. (Violence Realize that previous sex does not imply Vancouver Rape Relief and Women’s Shelter,
hadn’t spoken until they were introduced by a Again, Mark tells her to relax, he’s going to Against Women Survey; Statistics Canada, Help prevent acquaintance sexual assault
continued permission. 24-hour crisis line, 604-872-8212
group of friends several weeks later. Over a make her feel much better. She tries pushing 1993.) Sexual assault by an acquaintance is as Statistics can be frightening, but they should
Like any association or friendship, a sexual Counselling Services, 604-822-3811
couple of freely-flowing pitchers of beer dur- him off, but she’s dizzy and the room is still traumatic as sexual assault by a stranger. not deter you from meeting people and enjoy-
relationship evolves. Everyone has a right to Brock Hall, 1874 East Mall
ing the third week of classes at the pub, Sarah spinning. Sarah also fears that if she doesn’t let ing new relationships. Here are a few guide-
Why Report Acquaintance Sexual change his or her mind.
and Mark strike up a conversation. By mid- him do what he wants, he’ll embarrass her in Assault?
lines to help prevent acquaintance sexual. Student Health Service, 604-822-7011
Know that alcohol and drugs are often
night, Sarah feels sick and decides it’s time to front of his friends. Or maybe he’ll physically Acquaintance sexual assault is a traumatic Respect Room M334 Acute Care Unit,
related to acquaintance sexual assault.
head home. Mark tells her she shouldn’t walk hurt her. She pronounces one final time that 2211 Wesbrook Mall, UBC
experience that may leave you feeling as Respect yourself, others, your relationships. Drugs and use of alcohol hamper your ability
alone and that he’ll accompany her to her she wants him to stop, but he simply smiles Speakeasy Student Support, 604-822-3777
though you have lost control in your life. to think and communicate clearly, which
room, just to be on the safe side. Flattered by and tells her that she really doesn’t want him Communicate openly.
Many victims are in a state of shock and find often compromises your ability to make Main Concourse, SUB
the attention, Sarah accepts—receives thumbs to stop. Mark then has sex with Sarah. Be clear about your sexual desires and limits.
it hard to believe this really happened to them. responsible decisions. Take steps to ensure
up from a group of new girlfriends—and When she wakes in the morning, semi- Know what is acceptable to you. Men and FOR MEDICAL ASSISTANCE
They may feel embarrassed, ashamed, guilty, your own safety. Being drunk is no excuse for
stumbles back to residence with Mark. clothed, Sarah remembers what happened. women often have different definitions of love Emergency DIAL 911
responsible, powerless, depressed, or angry. sexual assault. Having sex with someone too
Once home, Mark takes Sarah into her Overcome with shame and embarrassment, and sex, and your expectations may differ
(Or all of the above.) These are all common intoxicated to consent is sexual assault. Non-Emergency
room and helps her climb into bed. The room she tells Mark to leave immediately. He’s con- from another’s. State your feelings to your
reactions. What if someone confides in you?
is spinning, Sarah says, and Mark brings a fused but doesn’t argue. Later that day, Sarah’s partner clearly and early. UBC Student Health Service, 604-822-7011
By reporting the incident immediately to
glass of water. Then he climbs into bed with floormates tell her how happy they are for her: Listen and remain calm. Encourage discus- Room M334, Acute Care Unit,
the police and health care professionals, you Be honest and assertive about your limits.
her. Before Sarah says anything, Mark tells they’ve heard that Mark spent the night. She sion about the assault to the extent that the 2211 Wesbrook Mall, UBC
will be provided crucial medical, emotional Passivity and gentle hints are usually inter-
her he’s exhausted and just wants to take a nap tries to be as excited as her friends are, but victim feels comfortable. Reassure the victim School of Medicine Family Practice Teaching
and legal support — if you want it. It gives preted as permission to continue. “Polite”
before heading home. Sarah continues her can’t help feeling like she’s going to be sick. that he or she is not responsible for the assault Unit, 604-822-5431, 3rd floor,
you the choice of later taking legal action, or behaviour works only if everyone observes the
silence: she isn’t really sure she wants him to (*Names have been changed.) — no matter what — and that no one asks or 5950 University Blvd, UBC
healing in private. Reporting can help estab- same rules. If you do not want to be touched,
leave anyway. What exactly constitutes acquaintance deserves to be sexually assaulted. Above all,
lish a case against your attacker and help pre- say “no” firmly, directly, and repeatedly, if
As she starts to drift into sleep, Sarah feels sexual assault? avoid judging or questioning him or her. FOR PROCEDURAL ASSISTANCE
vent this from happening again. required. Be prepared to leave.
Mark’s hands under her clothes. She tenses Originating as a casual, platonic, dating, aca- Seek medical assistance and/or Emergency DIAL 911
up. Mark offers a back massage and tells her to And you don’t have to report it by yourself. Establish your rights over your own body.
demic or familial relationship, acquaintance counselling as soon as possible.
Take along a friend, a family member, a coun- University RCMP, non-emergency
relax. Though she feels uncomfortable by his Sex is not a game of barter. You have the right Encourage the victim not to wash or change
sexual assault is any form of unwanted sexual sellor, or a crisis centre volunteer. 604-224-1322, 2990 Wesbrook Mall, UBC
advances, Sarah doesn’t verbally protest. to decide when to stop, regardless of previous clothes. (Washing and changing clothes can
contact. It can include kissing, touching,
NO MEANS NO
When Mark starts touching more than just sexual behaviour or any money that may have Vancouver Police Department,
grabbing, and forced sexual intercourse. destroy evidence.) Help your friend explore
been spent on you. non-emergency 604-717-3321,
her back, Sarah pretends to be asleep in the options and choices toward the process of
Acquaintance sexual assault does not neces- 312 Main Street, Vancouver
hopes that he’ll stop touching her and either Only “yes” means yes. healing, but avoid making the decisions.
sarily result in physical injury and is NEVER
fall asleep or leave her room. This doesn’t hap- Encourage him or her to seek counselling UBC Equity Office 604-822-6353
the victim’s fault. It is never okay to coerce or force someone to
pen. from specially trained health professionals. email firstname.lastname@example.org
26 Residence Life at UBC Connections 2010–2011 27