NO MEANS NO by sdfgsg234


									                                                                                                                                                             CAMPAIGN AGAINST SEXUAL ASSAULT                     Being turned down for sex is not a                  Report the acquaintance sexual assault.
                                                                                                                                                             Fact Sheet compiled by the Vancouver Police         personal rejection.                                 Discuss the benefits of reporting the assault
                                                                                                                                                             Department                                          Your partner may be unwilling to have sex for       and offer to accompany the victim. If she or he
                                                                                                                                                             A recent study involving date/acquaintance          a variety of reasons that have little or nothing    is reluctant to report it, ask if you can file an
                                                                                                                                                                                                                 to do with you. Respect your partner’s limits.

                                                                                                                                                             rape and students found that college and uni-                                                           anonymous report. Respect the need for pri-
                                                                                                                                                             versity students have every reason to be con-       Take responsibility for your own body               vacy and the desire to talk or not talk about
                                                                                                                                                             cerned about sexual assault. Acquaintance           and behaviour.                                      the details of the assault.
                                                                                                                                                             sexual assault occurs more frequently among         You may feel that your desires are beyond your      Acknowledge your own feeling of anger,
                                                                                                                                                             university-aged students than any other group.      control, but your actions are always the result     concern, and sadness.
                                                                                                                                                             (Alcohol and other drugs and misinterpreted

                                             SEXUAL ASSAULT
                                                                                                                                                                                                                 of your own decisions.
                                                                                                                                                             signals contribute to many of the assaults on                                                           Seek counselling for yourself to help process
                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Be aware of your surroundings.                      your reaction to the assault. Remind the vic-
                                                                                                                                                                 A national survey on the victimization of       If you’re feeling uncomfortable or in danger,       tim that your love and friendship for her or
                                                                                                                                                             women on university and college campuses            trust your intuition and act on it.                 him remains intact.
                                                                                                                                                             found that:                                         Be conscious of your non-verbal message.            Avoid saying that you know how the
                                                                                                                                                             •	20.2%	of	female	students	said	they	gave	into	     Sometimes your behaviour or appearance may          survivor feels.
                                                                                                                                                               unwanted sexual intercourse because they          be misinterpreted as a sexual invitation. While     No one can ever really know how another
                                                                                                                                                               were overwhelmed by a man’s continued             it’s no excuse for unwanted attention, be aware     person feels even if they have experienced the
                                                                                            It can happen to you or someone you know.                          arguments and pressure;                           that the possibility of misunderstanding exists.    same kind of trauma.
                                                                                                                          Know the facts.                    •	6.6%	 of	 female	 students	 said	 they	 had	      Match your actions with your intentions.
                                                                                                                      It happens at UBC.                       unwanted sexual intercourse because a man                                                             RESOURCES
                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Be aware of misperceptions.
                                                                                                                                                               threatened or used some degree of physical                                                            AMS Sexual Assault Support Centre SASC,
                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Flirting or sexy dressing are not sexual invita-
                                                                                                                                  By Marlane Press             force;                                                                                                604-822-9090,	email
                                                                                                                                                                                                                 tions. If you encounter mixed messages from a
                                                                                                                                                             •	13.6%	 of	 female	 students	 said	 that,	 when	
                                                                                                                                                                                                                 partner, talk about it (“I’m not sure what you      WAVAW/Rape	Crisis	Centre,	24-hour	crisis	
                                                                                                                                                               they were drunk or high, a man attempted
First-year university students Sarah and                 When he climbs on top of her, Sarah rolls           In British Columbia, 89% of sexual assault                                                          want… ”). Listen to the answer.                     line,	604-255-6344
                                                                                                                                                               unwanted sexual intercourse.
Mark* noticed each other in the cafeteria but        over and tells him to stop because she feels ill.    victims knew their attackers. (Violence                                                                Realize that previous sex does not imply            Vancouver Rape Relief and Women’s Shelter,
hadn’t spoken until they were introduced by a        Again, Mark tells her to relax, he’s going to        Against Women Survey; Statistics Canada,           Help prevent acquaintance sexual assault
                                                                                                                                                                                                                 continued permission.                               24-hour	crisis	line,	604-872-8212
group of friends several weeks later. Over a         make her feel much better. She tries pushing         1993.) Sexual assault by an acquaintance is as     Statistics can be frightening, but they should
                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Like any association or friendship, a sexual        Counselling	Services,	604-822-3811
couple of freely-flowing pitchers of beer dur-       him off, but she’s dizzy and the room is still       traumatic as sexual assault by a stranger.         not deter you from meeting people and enjoy-
                                                                                                                                                                                                                 relationship evolves. Everyone has a right to       Brock	Hall,	1874	East	Mall
ing the third week of classes at the pub, Sarah      spinning. Sarah also fears that if she doesn’t let                                                      ing new relationships. Here are a few guide-
                                                                                                          Why Report Acquaintance Sexual                                                                         change his or her mind.
and Mark strike up a conversation. By mid-           him do what he wants, he’ll embarrass her in         Assault?
                                                                                                                                                             lines to help prevent acquaintance sexual.                                                              Student	Health	Service,	604-822-7011
                                                                                                                                                                                                                 Know that alcohol and drugs are often
night, Sarah feels sick and decides it’s time to     front of his friends. Or maybe he’ll physically      Acquaintance sexual assault is a traumatic         Respect                                                                                                 Room	M334	Acute	Care	Unit,	
                                                                                                                                                                                                                 related to acquaintance sexual assault.
head home. Mark tells her she shouldn’t walk         hurt her. She pronounces one final time that                                                                                                                                                                    2211	Wesbrook	Mall,	UBC
                                                                                                          experience that may leave you feeling as           Respect yourself, others, your relationships.       Drugs and use of alcohol hamper your ability
alone and that he’ll accompany her to her            she wants him to stop, but he simply smiles                                                                                                                                                                     Speakeasy	Student	Support,	604-822-3777	
                                                                                                          though you have lost control in your life.                                                             to think and communicate clearly, which
room, just to be on the safe side. Flattered by      and tells her that she really doesn’t want him                                                          Communicate openly.
                                                                                                          Many victims are in a state of shock and find                                                          often compromises your ability to make              Main	Concourse,	SUB
the attention, Sarah accepts—receives thumbs         to stop. Mark then has sex with Sarah.                                                                  Be clear about your sexual desires and limits.
                                                                                                          it hard to believe this really happened to them.                                                       responsible decisions. Take steps to ensure
up from a group of new girlfriends—and                   When she wakes in the morning, semi-                                                                Know what is acceptable to you. Men and                                                                 FOR MEDICAL ASSISTANCE
                                                                                                          They may feel embarrassed, ashamed, guilty,                                                            your own safety. Being drunk is no excuse for
stumbles back to residence with Mark.                clothed, Sarah remembers what happened.                                                                 women often have different definitions of love                                                          Emergency DIAL 911
                                                                                                          responsible, powerless, depressed, or angry.                                                           sexual assault. Having sex with someone too
    Once home, Mark takes Sarah into her             Overcome with shame and embarrassment,                                                                  and sex, and your expectations may differ
                                                                                                          (Or all of the above.) These are all common                                                            intoxicated to consent is sexual assault.           Non-Emergency
room and helps her climb into bed. The room          she tells Mark to leave immediately. He’s con-                                                          from another’s. State your feelings to your
                                                                                                          reactions.                                                                                             What if someone confides in you?
is spinning, Sarah says, and Mark brings a           fused but doesn’t argue. Later that day, Sarah’s                                                        partner clearly and early.                                                                              UBC	Student	Health	Service,	604-822-7011	
                                                                                                              By reporting the incident immediately to
glass of water. Then he climbs into bed with         floormates tell her how happy they are for her:                                                                                                             Listen and remain calm. Encourage discus-           Room	M334,	Acute	Care	Unit,
                                                                                                          the police and health care professionals, you      Be honest and assertive about your limits.
her. Before Sarah says anything, Mark tells          they’ve heard that Mark spent the night. She                                                                                                                sion about the assault to the extent that the       2211	Wesbrook	Mall,	UBC
                                                                                                          will be provided crucial medical, emotional        Passivity and gentle hints are usually inter-
her he’s exhausted and just wants to take a nap      tries to be as excited as her friends are, but                                                                                                              victim feels comfortable. Reassure the victim       School of Medicine Family Practice Teaching
                                                                                                          and legal support — if you want it. It gives       preted as permission to continue. “Polite”
before heading home. Sarah continues her             can’t help feeling like she’s going to be sick.                                                                                                             that he or she is not responsible for the assault   Unit,	604-822-5431,	3rd floor,
                                                                                                          you the choice of later taking legal action, or    behaviour works only if everyone observes the
silence: she isn’t really sure she wants him to      (*Names have been changed.)                                                                                                                                 — no matter what — and that no one asks or          5950	University	Blvd,	UBC
                                                                                                          healing in private. Reporting can help estab-      same rules. If you do not want to be touched,
leave anyway.                                        What exactly constitutes acquaintance                                                                                                                       deserves to be sexually assaulted. Above all,
                                                                                                          lish a case against your attacker and help pre-    say “no” firmly, directly, and repeatedly, if
    As she starts to drift into sleep, Sarah feels   sexual assault?                                                                                                                                             avoid judging or questioning him or her.            FOR PROCEDURAL ASSISTANCE
                                                                                                          vent this from happening again.                    required. Be prepared to leave.
Mark’s hands under her clothes. She tenses           Originating as a casual, platonic, dating, aca-                                                                                                             Seek medical assistance and/or                      Emergency DIAL 911
up. Mark offers a back massage and tells her to                                                               And you don’t have to report it by yourself.   Establish your rights over your own body.
                                                     demic or familial relationship, acquaintance                                                                                                                counselling as soon as possible.
                                                                                                          Take along a friend, a family member, a coun-                                                                                                              University	RCMP,	non-emergency
relax. Though she feels uncomfortable by his                                                                                                                 Sex is not a game of barter. You have the right     Encourage the victim not to wash or change
                                                     sexual assault is any form of unwanted sexual        sellor, or a crisis centre volunteer.                                                                                                                      604-224-1322,	2990	Wesbrook	Mall,	UBC
advances, Sarah doesn’t verbally protest.                                                                                                                    to decide when to stop, regardless of previous      clothes. (Washing and changing clothes can
                                                     contact. It can include kissing, touching,

                                                                                                          NO MEANS NO
When Mark starts touching more than just                                                                                                                     sexual behaviour or any money that may have                                                             Vancouver Police Department,
                                                     grabbing, and forced sexual intercourse.                                                                                                                    destroy evidence.) Help your friend explore
                                                                                                                                                             been spent on you.                                                                                      non-emergency	604-717-3321,
her back, Sarah pretends to be asleep in the                                                                                                                                                                     options and choices toward the process of
                                                     Acquaintance sexual assault does not neces-                                                                                                                                                                     312	Main	Street,	Vancouver
hopes that he’ll stop touching her and either                                                                                                                Only “yes” means yes.                               healing, but avoid making the decisions.
                                                     sarily result in physical injury and is NEVER
fall asleep or leave her room. This doesn’t hap-                                                                                                                                                                 Encourage him or her to seek counselling            UBC	Equity	Office	604-822-6353
                                                     the victim’s fault.                                                                                     It is never okay to coerce or force someone to
pen.                                                                                                                                                                                                             from specially trained health professionals.        email
                                                                                                                                                             have sex.

26   Residence Life at UBC                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             Connections 2010–2011       27

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