Parenting by xiuliliaofz


        Unit 1
The Parenthood Decision
      1.1 Match terms related to the parenthood decision
1.   Adoptive parent—a person who
     becomes a parent through a legal process
2.   Biological parent—two people who
     conceive a child, also called birth parents
3.   Blended family—either or both spouses
     have been married before and have one
     or more children from a previous
4.   Extended family—several generations
     of a family that live together
5.   Family planning—a deliberate act of
     deciding how many children and the
        spacing of years between each child
6.  Foster parent—a person who provides a temporary
    home for a child
7. Genetic counseling—medical advice that tells a
    couple the options and risks of having genetic
    problems their children
8. Heredity—the sum of all the qualities a person
    inherits from his or her parents at birth
9. Infertility—the inability to conceive a child
10. Nuclear family—made up of a married couple and
    their biological or adoptive children
11. Parenting—the process of caring for children and
    helping them grow and learn
12. Sibling—a brother or sister
        23 Lessons
I Learned from my Parents
   1. My parents taught me: TO

"If you're going to kill each other, do it
   outside. I just finished cleaning."
  2. My parents taught me: RELIGION.

"You better pray that will come out
          of the carpet."
  3. My parents taught me: TIME TRAVEL .

"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to
    knock you into the middle of next
4. My parents taught me: LOGIC.

" Because I said so, that's why."
 5. My parents taught me: MORE
            LOGIC .

  "If you fall out of that swing and
break your neck, you're not going to
         the store with me."
    6. My parents taught me:

"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in
      case you're in an accident."
7. My parents taught me: IRONY

 "Keep crying, and I'll give you
   something to cry about."
 8. My parents taught me about
   the science of OSMOSIS .

"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."
      9. My parents taught me:

"Will you look at that dirt on the back
            of your neck!"
10. My parents taught me about
          STAMINA .

"You'll sit there until all those lima
         beans are gone."
  11. My parents taught me:
        WEATHER .

"This room of yours looks as if a
   tornado went through it."
   12. My parents taught me:

"If I told you once, I've told you a
million times. Don't exaggerate!"
 13. My parents taught me: THE

"I brought you into this world, and
       I can take you out."
 14. My parents taught me: ENVY.

"There are millions of less fortunate
children in this world who don't have
  wonderful parents like you do."
15. My parents taught me about

"Just wait until your father gets
     16. My parents taught me:
           RECEIVING .

"You are going to get it when you get
17. My parents taught me: MEDICAL
            SCIENCE .

 "If you don't stop crossing your eyes,
  they are going to freeze that way."
  18. My parents taught me: ESP.

"Put your sweater on; don't you think
     I know when you are cold?"
19. My parents taught me: HUMOR .

"When that lawn mower cuts off your
 toes, don't come running to me."
20. My parents taught me: HOW TO

 "If you don't eat your vegetables,
       you'll never grow up."
21. My parents taught me about my ROOTS.

"Shut that door behind you. Do you think
       you were born in a barn ?"
22. My parents taught me: WISDOM .

 " When you get to be my age, you'll
 23. And my favorite: My PARENTS

"One day you'll have kids, and I hope
     they turn out just like you!
                Chapter 1
1.   Classify types of parents—1.2
2.   List types of family structures with
     components of each—1.4
Classify types of parents—1.2
                Biological/Birth Parents
 When a male and female conceive and have a child
                          Adoptive Parents
 Those who decide to adopt a child when his/her biological parents give up
                               parental rights
                           Legal Guardians
 An adult, appointed by the courts, that takes legal responsibility for a
                            Foster Parents
 Adults who have temporary custody of a child; must be approved and
  licensed by the state
List types of family
   structures with
   components of
   each (1.4)
Family Structures
Nuclear—mom, dad, never been divorced
Extended—other relatives in addition to your
 own immediate family
Single-parent—one parent and their children
Blended—one or more people have been
 married/divorced (step parents/siblings)
Other—adoptive, foster, grandparents, other
 family members

       Frameworks # 1.4, 1.4.1, 1.4.2, 2.3, 2.3.1, 3.10, 3.10.1, 3.10.2
Frameworks # 1.4, 1.4.1, 1.4.2, 2.3, 2.3.1, 3.10, 3.10.1, 3.10.2
Frameworks # 1.4, 1.4.1, 1.4.2, 2.3, 2.3.1, 3.10, 3.10.1, 3.10.2
Frameworks # 1.4, 1.4.1, 1.4.2, 2.3, 2.3.1, 3.10, 3.10.1, 3.10.2
Frameworks # 1.4, 1.4.1, 1.4.2, 2.3, 2.3.1, 3.10, 3.10.1, 3.10.2
Frameworks # 1.4, 1.4.1, 1.4.2, 2.3, 2.3.1, 3.10, 3.10.1, 3.10.2
Frameworks # 1.4, 1.4.1, 1.4.2, 2.3, 2.3.1, 3.10, 3.10.1, 3.10.2
Frameworks # 1.4, 1.4.1, 1.4.2, 2.3, 2.3.1, 3.10, 3.10.1, 3.10.2
Frameworks # 1.4, 1.4.1, 1.4.2, 2.3, 2.3.1, 3.10, 3.10.1, 3.10.2
Chapter 3
1. State factors to consider in making a
   parenthood decision—1.3
2. Develop a checklist of personal qualities
   needed for effective parenting—1.3.1
3. Examine effects of parenthood on marriage
   and personal relationships—1.3.2
4. List costs related to having and raising a
        Frameworks # 1.4, 1.4.1, 1.4.2, 2.3, 2.3.1, 3.10, 3.10.1, 3.10.2
What would change about
you/your life if you became a
parent right now?
   What are your goals for your life?

   What do you want out of life?

   Are you willing to be TOTALLY SELF-LESS?

                          p. 66
• Will plans for
  education have to be
• Will career goals have
  to be changed?
• Will such goals as
  buying a car, living
  independently, or
  building a savings
  account have to be
  put off?
            KEY IDEA:
If you are not emotionally prepared to take
full responsibility for your own life, you are
NOT ready to make a life-long commitment
                   to a child!
State factors to consider in making a
       parenthood decision (1.3)
     Things to consider BEFORE
     becoming a parent….
1.   Age
2.   Health
3.   Readiness
4.   Reasons for wanting children
5.   Relationship status
6.   Financial status

                     p. 67
       Age, Health and Readiness

 Pregnancy and childbirth pose serious
  risks for adolescents and for their
 Children born to teen mothers are more
  likely to…
    – Die before age 2, have health problems, be
      mentally retarded, have learning disorders,
      be abused, fall in the poverty category,
      become sexually active at a younger age
    Age, Health and Readiness
 A teen mother’s health also impacts the
 Smoking, drinking, doing drugs, eating
  disorders, contacting a STD—all of
  these have an adverse affect on an
  unborn child!
                Be physically
Both parents
 should be in
good physical                        Exercise
                         No alcohol,

nutritiously             or drugs.
   You will need to be flexible with
    your time.
   You will need to be able to function
    with interrupted sleep patterns.
   You will need to be patient.
   You will need to share your money,
    resources and time with your child.
   You’ll need to be able to deal with
    the frustrations of a crying child.
• Social life definitely changes!
• What interests and activities
  are you willing to
  limit or put off in order to
  concentrate on raising a child?
                   KEY IDEA:
  All children deserve parents who are
ready and happy to take on the huge job
  ahead of them of becoming a parent!
            What are some reasons
            for wanting to become a
Love children             To prove adulthood
                          To please someone
Want to pass on your
legacy                    For emotional benefits
Are emotionally,          For respect and status
financially and           To escape a situation
physically able to take   Because society expects it
care of a child           To improve a bad
WANT a child              relationship
                          For welfare checks
            What are signs of a
            healthy relationship?
   The relationship is satisfying.
   Each person treats the other respectfully.
   The relationship is stable.
   Both people work to resolve conflicts and reach
   The couple shares a common philosophy about
    having and raising children.
   The couple doesn’t have serious differences or
   The relationship needs to be at the goal-
    directed stage.
   Couples need to have a firm commitment
    to one another & their love should form a
    strong foundation for building a family
   Stability…
    – Having children strengthens stable
      relationships but...
    – Having a baby makes a weak
      relationship weaker.
          KEY IDEA:
All children deserve to have a happy home!
    Are you ready to be a parent?

   How do you know if you’re ready?

         Be honest with yourself.

   See page 64—how do you rate on
    emotional maturity?
         Parenting Readiness Test
Take this simple test to determine whether or not you are ready to have

   – Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Now rub
     your hands in the wet flower bed and rub on the walls.
     Cover the stains with crayons. Place a fish stick behind
     the couch and leave it there all summer.

   – Obtain a 55-gallon box of Legos. (If Legos are not
     available, you may substitute roofing tacks or broken
     bottles.) Have a friend spread them all over the house.
     Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen.
     Do not scream, this could wake a sleeping child.
  – Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and
    take them with you as you shop at the grocery store.
    Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat
    or damage.

  – Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a
    small net bag, making sure that all arms stay inside.

  – Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water.
    Suspend from the ceiling with a stout cord. Start the jug
    swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal (such
    as Fruit Loops or Cheerios) into the mouth of the jug,
    while pretending to be an airplane. When finished,
    dump the contents of the jug on the floor and over your
   – Obtain a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of
     sand. Soak it thoroughly in water. At 8 PM begin to waltz
     and hum with the bag until 9 PM. Lay down your bag and
     set your alarm for 10pm. Get up, pick up your bag, and
     sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a
     dozen more and sing these until 4 am. Set alarm for 5 am.
     Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years.
   – Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of
     paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube
     and turn it into an attractive Christmas candle. Use only
     scotch tape and a piece of foil. Last, take a milk carton, a
     ping-pong ball, and an empty box of Cocoa Puffs. Make a
     replica of the Eiffel Tower.
   – Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a
     chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove
     compartment. Leave it there. Get a dime. Stick it into the
     cassette player. Take a family size package of chocolate
     chip cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Run a garden
     rake along both sides of the car.
  – Obtain a large beanbag chair and attach it to your front
    under your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now
    remove 10 of the beans. And try not to notice your closet
    full of clothes. You won't be wearing them for a while.
  – Go to the nearest drugstore. Set your wallet on the
    counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the
    nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for
    your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store.
    Purchase a newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for
    the last time.
  – Find a couple who already has a small child. Lecture them
    on how they can improve their discipline, patience,
    tolerance, toilet training, and child's table manners.
    Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them
    that they should never allow their children to run rampant.
    Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you have all
    the answers.
 Personal Readiness Quiz
          (Agree or Disagree)
1. I don’t care much about my free time.
2. I get frustrated easily when things don’t go
   my way.
3. Sleeping late is not very important to me.
4. Routines are boring.
5. I have a lot of confidence in myself.
6. I wouldn’t mind spending $400 a month on
   someone else for the next 18 years.
7. I would want my child to be just like me.
     Personal Readiness Quiz
8. I still have years to go before I am fully
9. I enjoy sharing my possessions with others.
10. I like going out and doing things when I feel
    like it.
11. I sometimes have trouble controlling my
12. Children get on my nerves.
13. I feel unprepared to take care of a newborn
     Personal Readiness Quiz
14. I feel unprepared to take care of a 6-year-old.
15. I feel unprepared to take care of a 12-year-
16. I need someone to love me before I can love
17. I find it easy to be flexible and compromise.
18. I am a good communicator, listener, and
19. Household chores are a drag.
   Handbook: Checklist for
Develop a checklist of personal qualities
  needed for effective parenting (1.3.1)
         Handbook Checklist
         for Parents
   Create a checklist (a top 10 list) of rules
    that EVERY parent must abide by. This
    should accurately reflect what you feel
    about parenting. Be sure to include
    attributes that you feel parents should
   CIRCLE the two you need to work on.
   UNDERLINE the two you feel you have
   Write a paragraph telling how you will
    improve in the areas you feel you are
Examine effects of parenthood on
marriage and personal relationships
How do you think children
 would affect a marriage
    Some things to think about…
Children do NOT make a weak marriage
stronger…they just add to the stress.
Just because you got pregnant, does NOT
mean he will stay.
  List costs related to having and raising a
  Bed                        T-shirts
  Changing table             Gowns
  rocker                     socks
Equipment                  Toys
  Bath tub                   Rattles
  Stroller                   Stuffed animals
  Swing                    Childcare
Supplies                     Types and cost vary
  Breastfeeding supplies
What kind of costs are associated with
          raising children?
• Food—how much food have you eaten in your
• Clothing—for all ages and stages (diapers too)
• Shelter—mortgage, utility bills
• Insurance—medical and life
• Extracurricular—sports, leisure activities
• School—supplies, clubs, uniforms
• Transportation—gas, car
• Extra—cell phones,
• Special occasions—birthdays, holidays, pictures
        Is financial preparation
 YES!
 The average family spends $10,000 per
  year for child care for ONE kid.
 Just giving birth costs more than
  $6,000, and if your child is not healthy,
  that number increases.
 Having a child not only INCREASES
  parents’ costs but may also DECREASE
  a parents’ income
• Financially stable
• Initial expenses
   – Doctor
   – Hospital
   – Baby Food
   – Diapers
   – Car Seat
   – Furniture
• To raise a child to the age of eighteen, it will cost
  as much as $250,000.
          How do you know if
          you’re ready financially?
   Answer these questions:
    – Do we have a steady income to meet current
      needs PLUS additional expenses?
    – How much savings do we have?
    – Are other resources available?
    – What are the costs of having a child and health
    – Do we have health insurance?
    – Can we afford for one parent to stay at home?
    – Will we need a larger home to accommodate a
      growing family?

• Research costs associated with having and
  raising a child.
                Chapter 7

• Name reasons for family planning—1.6
• List factors that influence family planning
• Describe the purpose of genetic counseling—
Name reasons for family planning—1.6

Ensures parenthood is by choice
rather than by chance

Allows couples to achieve goals they
have set for themselves

Couples can determine what size
family they desire
Why PLAN your family?

1. Make sure children are truly wanted.
2. Allow time to build a solid relationship
   before having children.
3. Make sure you are prepared for children.
List factors that influence family
     planning decisions—1.7
So, what should you consider before you
decide to become a parent?
? Do you like children?
? Are you READY?
? Is your relationship strong enough?
? Is your bank account big enough?
? Is this the right time in your life for
? Am I healthy enough to have children?
Questions to ask yourself
(and your spouse):
Do we share common values on
 raising/disciplining children?
How soon do we want to begin a family?
How many kids do we want?
How far apart in years do we want them to
 be spaced?
How will we balance work and family?
Who will take care of the children?
Describe the purpose of genetic
Genetic Counselors can…

• Let you know your chances of having a
  baby with a certain disorder
• Talk to you about your options
  •   Artificial insemination
  •   In vitro fertilization
  •   Ovum transfer
  •   Surrogate mothers
Handbook Assignment:
“My Idealistic Timeline”
• Plan your future family.
• Tell when you’ll have your first, second,
  third, etc. babies.
• Determine what year it will be for each
• Highlight other life accomplishments on
  your time line.

      Mrs. Hays’s timeline
Any Questions?

1. Name 3 reasons for family planning.
2. List 5 factors that influence family
   planning decisions.
3. What is the purpose of genetic
4. What would 3 challenges of parenting a
   special needs child be?

by Christina

Last night you sang me a song but tears fell
               from your eyes.

    You said you were sorry but I didn’t
              understand why.

 Last night you rubbed my head and you
             sang me a lullaby.

Then you said you were ready to die and I
          didn’t understand why.

Last night you laid down and told me all your

  Then you said you hated yourself and I
          didn’t understand why.

Last night you kept hitting me time after

Then you said you hated me and I didn’t
            understand why.

  Last night you drunk and got me high.

Then you asked me to go away and I didn’t
             understand why.

Last night you let the doctor kill me with a

    I wasn’t even born yet and I didn’t
              understand why.

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