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INTERMEDIATE
Lesson 1 Introduction to Aspects of Social Responsibility
CONCEPT(S): SR rationale, 4 SR Aspects

Lesson 2 Levels of Behaviour
CONCEPT(S): SR Traffic Light

Lesson 3 Reinforce Levels of Social Responsibility
CONCEPT(S): SR Traffic Light, bystander

Lesson 4 Empathy
CONCEPT(S): perspective taking, bystander effect

Lesson 5 Caring Sharing/How to Reach a Compromise
CONCEPT(S): different points of view, common solutions

Lesson 6 Anger Mountain
CONCEPT(S): helpful thoughts, positive self-talk, square breathing

Lesson 7 Ignore, Walk Away, Defuse
CONCEPT(S): ignore, walk away, defuse

Lesson 8 Being Assertive
CONCEPT(S): assertiveness

Lesson 9 Reporting and Apologizing
CONCEPT(S): reporting, apologizing

AREA
COUNSELLOR
TEAM SD38 RICHMOND

September 2010
CONTRIBUTORS
Vera Adams
Larry Antrim
Nicola Beninger
Benita Kwon
Johanna Penz
Kathleen Scales
Piero Sellitti
Sandy Van Ostrand
Louise Walker

Richmond
School District 38
AREA
Intermediate
Social Responsibility
COUNSELLOR
TEAM SD38 RICHMOND

Lesson 1 (Introduction to Aspects of Social Responsibility)

Purpose:
• Introduce concept of Social Responsibility
• Begin awareness of how each of our behaviours/decisions affects others in the
class/school

Process:
1. Introduce the term Social Responsibility. What does it mean?
State that everything one says or does tells us something about that person.
How do you want others to see you?

2. Introduce aspects of Social Responsibility using the SR Circle:
• Being Helpful, • Accepting • Solving • Rights and
Kind and Friendly Others Problems Responsibilities
Ask the question, “What do you feel your class is best at?”
While introducing the aspects of the SR Circle, note examples of students you observed
meeting expected behaviours by writing their names in the appropriate part of the circle.

3. Team Building Activity:
(Observe how the class follows directions and how they interact in an activity where they
have to stand beside and hold hands with others not of their choosing)

The Jolt:
Form circle in alphabetical order according to first names; hold hands (this is the tough part and it is worth observing
reactions to this). The starter gently squeezes the hand of the person on his/her right, sending an “electric jolt” around
the circle that each person passes on as quickly as he/she receives it. Record the time it takes for the jolt to make it
completely around the circle. Discuss how team work makes it faster; discuss what behaviours get in the way of going
fast. Try to improve on the time.

4. Awareness Building:
Following the game, point out how each of the four aspects of Social Responsibility is
reflected in this activity. Discuss with the class, at times when it presents itself, how
inappropriate behaviour means that an individual is only considering his/her needs, not
those of the group. Ask the question, “Was that (one’s behaviour) helpful for the group, or
were you just thinking about yourself?”. Make the class aware that we will be pointing out
behaviours that detract from developing a positive classroom tone.
5. Follow-up
(a) Have students complete Social Responsibility handout.
Look over student responses and discuss with the class noticeable trends.

(b) Teachers will note the regular day-to-day positive behaviours demonstrated by
individual students by writing their names in the appropriate quadrant of the
SR Circle. Positive behaviours may also include one’s where students exceed
expectations.

TIPS for SR Circle…
- include one or two words describing the behaviour observed
- put names up as soon as you have observed something or at the end of the day
save 5 minutes to tell the class about some of the behaviours that you have noticed
and at that time, write names on the SR Circle (students will look forward to hearing
what you have noticed)
- put 5 post-its on your desk each morning to remind you to look for examples that you
can post on the SR Circle
NAME: _______________________

Social Responsibility
This circle represents the four aspects of Social Responsibility. One of these was identified
as what your class does best.

Which of these aspects do you think your class could use some improvement in?
Write a few sentences below to explain your choice.

Solving Being Helpful,
Problems Kind & Friendly

Accepting Rights and
Others Responsibilities

_______________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________
AREA
Intermediate
Social Responsibility
COUNSELLOR
TEAM SD38 RICHMOND

Lesson 2 (Levels of Behaviour – the Traffic Light)

Purpose:
• To raise awareness of different kinds of relationships
• To introduce Levels of Social Responsibility

Process:
1. Look at the SR Circle and discuss the names and patterns that have emerged.

2. Discuss the range of relationships that exist in a classroom or school community:
(use the image of the rungs or steps of a ladder for each of these types)

good friends

friends

kids you’re
Highlight the dynamic that it is easier to be socially
friendly toward responsible with the people near the top of the
ladder than people who are further down the ladder.
kids you don’t
pay attention to

kids you
don’t like

kids who
don’t like you

3. Divide the class into groups and ask them to come up with two examples of each of the
following types of choices, (good choice, okay choice, poor choice) for this situation:

A new student enrolls in your class. How do you react to him/her?

Have groups share their examples with the class.
Record examples into columns corresponding to the Four Levels of SR (adding
excellent choice).
Tie these examples into the Four Levels of Social Responsibility.

4. Introduce Performance Standards
Use Levels of Social Responsibility poster to illustrate levels of SR.
5. Rating of Examples and Self Rating:
Distribute handout, Levels of Social Responsibility. In groups of four, discuss the second
example and describe possible behaviours for each level. Solicit responses from some
groups.

6. Follow-up
(a) Complete Levels of Social Responsibility handout. As a class discuss their answers,
making sure they grasp the concept of the four levels. If time permits, ask students to
role play their green and blue responses for the different scenarios. Note, if doing
these as role plays, limit the amount of time spent on Level 1 examples.

(b) Students will nominate each other when they see positive behaviours demonstrated
by classmates. Names to be recorded in the appropriate quadrant of the SR Circle.

TIPS for SR Circle…
- set aside a time each day to ask students for names
- encourage students to nominate people other than their close friends
- put a post-it on each student’s desk to use during the week to record a classmate’s
name and their green/blue behaviour
NAME: _______________________

Levels of Social Responsibility
Using the situations below, write an example for what someone’s behaviours might be at
each of the levels of Social Responsibility. Then discuss and/or role play each example.

(1) A new student enrolls in your class. How do you react to him/her?

Level 1 _________________________________________________________________

Level 2 _________________________________________________________________

Level 3 _________________________________________________________________

Level 4 _________________________________________________________________

(2) Someone has forgotten his or her lunch today. What do you do?

Level 1 _________________________________________________________________

Level 2 _________________________________________________________________

Level 3 _________________________________________________________________

Level 4 _________________________________________________________________

(3) Your teacher has asked the class to work on their group projects while she works with a
group of students at her desk. Some kids are fooling around. What do you do?

Level 1 _________________________________________________________________

Level 2 _________________________________________________________________

Level 3 _________________________________________________________________

Level 4 _________________________________________________________________

(4) An older kid is teasing Ken on the way home from school. What do you do.?

Level 1 _________________________________________________________________

Level 2 _________________________________________________________________

Level 3 _________________________________________________________________

Level 4 _________________________________________________________________
AREA
Intermediate
Social Responsibility
COUNSELLOR
TEAM SD38 RICHMOND

Lesson 3 (Reinforce Levels of Social Responsibility)

Purpose:
• To provide an opportunity for the class to work as a team
• To reinforce the aspects of SR and the SR Levels

Process:
1. Look at the SR Circle and discuss the names and patterns that have emerged.

2. Review the Levels of Social Responsibility worksheet.
Possibly role play some examples of the levels of behaviour from this handout.
When reviewing scenario 4, the role of the bystander is important.

“I was just watching.”
What impact does watching have on the older kid and on the student being teased?
Students will understand that being a bystander who watches turns into red behaviour.
Discuss the levels of behaviour for a bystander.

3. Team Building Activity:

Do You Know Your Neighbour?
Students form a circle with their chairs. The leader stands in the centre and does not have an
assigned chair. The leader chooses someone seated in the circle and asks, “Do you know your
neighbour?” The students have been directed to respond by introducing by name the student on
either side of him or her and then to say, “But I don’t know those with ...” and then describe some
sort of physical observation such as running shoes, green shirts, glasses, etc. All those in that
category have to change chairs, including the person who was asked the question and the leader
who also wants a chair. This will leave one person standing; this person becomes the new leader.
A second response that is possible when asked the question is , “No, I don’t know my neighbour,”
at which point everyone must find a new chair. Emphasize safety.

Pay attention to Level 3 and 4 behaviours that contribute to the success of the game and
bring to the students’ awareness the Level and 1 and 2 behaviours that detract from the
game.

4. Follow-up
(a) In the following week have students identify their own levels of social responsibility
by recording examples of Level 3 and Level 4 behaviour on the Social Responsibility
handout provided. This activity works best if one quadrant of the circle is discussed
and completed each day.

(b) Lead a 5 minute discussion asking students for examples each day.
NAME: _______________________

Social Responsibility
During the following week, write in the circle an example of a Level 3 and an example of a
Level 4 behaviour you have done for each of the four aspects of Social Responsibility.

Level 3 ____________________________ Level 3 ____________________________

__________________________________ __________________________________

Level 4 ___________________________ Level 4 ___________________________

__________________________________ __________________________________

Solving Being Helpful, Kind
Problems & Friendly

Accepting Rights and
Others Responsibilities

Level 3 ____________________________ Level 3 ____________________________

__________________________________ __________________________________

Level 4 ___________________________ Level 4 ___________________________

__________________________________ __________________________________

__________________________________ __________________________________
AREA
Lower Intermediate
Social Responsibility
COUNSELLOR
TEAM SD38 RICHMOND

Lesson 4 (Empathy in Action)

Purpose:
• To raise awareness of empathy and the ability to take another person’s perspective
• To raise awareness of the importance of the role of the bystander
• To teach empathy as being synonymous to being a bucket filler

Process:
1. Review the meaning of social responsibility and discuss what students have noticed
(red/yellow/green) about hallway behaviour.

2. Read aloud (and have students stand if applicable): “Stand up if…”

a. You have noticed someone being left out of a game when they want to play.
b. You have seen or heard kids being teased.
c. You have seen kids pushing and being rough with other kids.
d. You have been told not to play with somebody because they have germs.
e. You have stood up for someone being left out or teased by saying or doing
something to help support them.

3. Broaden the students’ understanding of the concept of Empathy.
Highlight that empathy is the ability to: Notice (see/hear) how others feel
Care (understand feelings of other person)
Take Action: Say and/or Do Something

4. Read the book, How Full Is Your Bucket? For Kids
(a) Discuss with the class specific examples of empathy in the book (see Empathy Chart
below for examples). Provide the students with specific situations that were
NOTICED. Complete the chart by discussing for each situation how CARE was
shown and what ACTION Felix took.

What was NOTICED? What were his thoughts What was the Caring
and feelings? ACTION?
(Did he care?)
Anna’s wants to play with Felix
not shown no action
(at the beginning of the book)
He notices the teacher dropped his (yes) He helps to pick up the papers.
papers.
He notices that the boys are (yes) He picks up the baseball and
missing their baseball. returns it to them
He notices a new student sitting by (yes) He introduces himself to Amir.
himself.
Anna’s crying because her doll is (yes) Felix reassures Anna that mom can
torn fix it and invites her to build a tower
with him.
(b) Discuss the idea of everyone having an invisible bucket.
 Every interaction in a day either fills or empties someone’s bucket.
 Everything we say or do fills or empties a person’s bucket.

When you demonstrate empathy you are a bucket filler
and when you don’t demonstrate empathy you are a bucket emptier.

(d) Discuss the role of the bystander. What are some things that we can do as a
bystander to fill someone’s bucket? Discuss the challenges to speaking up for
someone and that it takes courage to do this. What stops us from speaking up?
(answer question saying, “I sometimes don’t speak up because . . . .”)

(e) What are some ways to say and/or do something to show empathy?
Refer back to the chart and for each situation, have the class brainstorm ideas for
showing empathy. Record ideas that would support the person or make the situation
better.

5. Class Activity: Role Play to demonstrate empathy in action.

Scenario #1: While several students are playing basketball, a classmate
approaches and asks if they can join in. One of the students says,
“No, we have enough players”. The other kids just stand there and
say nothing so the kid walks away with his head hanging down.

Freeze this role play and ask the class: What could one or more of the
bystanders say and/or do to show
empathy in this situation and fill
someone’s bucket?

Repeat the role play with the bystanders speaking up.

Scenario #2: While a group of students are walking around the school, one student
is walking along with the group but not taking part in the conversation.
One student says, “Why are you following us?”. The other kids just go
along the student who says this by saying “Yeah, stop following us”.

Freeze the role play and ask the class: What could one or more of the bystanders
Say and/or do to show empathy in this
situation?

Repeat the role play with the bystanders speaking up.
6. Follow-up Activity:
Using the Empathy in Action worksheet, have students write about:
- three things they can plan to do at school to fill someone’s bucket
- three things they can plan to do at home to fill someone’s bucket
- an experience they had during the week where they took action and filled someone’s
bucket (to be competed at the end of the week)
Name ________________________

EMPATHY IN ACTION

List three things that you plan to do this week to “fill someone’s bucket” at school:

1. _______________________________________________________________

2. _______________________________________________________________

3. _______________________________________________________________

List three things that you plan to do this week to “fill someone’s bucket” at home:

1. _______________________________________________________________

2. _______________________________________________________________

3. _______________________________________________________________

At the end of the week:
Write about an experience you had during the week where you took action and “filled
someone’s bucket”.
AREA
Intermediate
Social Responsibility
COUNSELLOR
TEAM SD38 RICHMOND

Lesson 4 (Empathy)

Purpose:
• To raise awareness of empathy and the ability to take another person’s perspective
• To raise awareness of the importance of the role of the bystander

Process:
1. Read aloud (and have students stand if applicable): “Stand up if…”

f. You have noticed someone being left out of a game when they want to play.
g. You have heard kids being made fun of because of their looks.
h. You have heard kids being told they are not good enough to play the game.
i. You have received an email where a friend is saying something mean about another
friend.
j. You have stood up for someone being left out or teased by saying or doing
something to help support them.

2. Introduce the concept of Empathy.
Highlight that empathy is the ability to: Notice (see/hear) how others feel
Care (understand feelings of other person)
Say and/or Do Something (to support)

3. Read the book, Say Something.
(a) Discuss with the class how the main character was able to notice and care
about some students who were having difficulty. Ask the class for examples of how
she noticed and cared (see below for an example). Record ideas on Empathy Chart.

What was NOTICED? How was CARE shown? ACTION
- she noticed a student on his own - in her thoughts, she acknowledged - none
that she felt sorry for him

(b) What does it mean to put yourself in someone else’s shoes (taking perspective)?

(c) Discuss the role of the bystander. Why was it difficult for the main character to
say something? Discuss the challenges to speaking up for someone and that it
takes courage to do this.

(d) What are some ways to say and/or do something to show empathy?
Refer back to the chart and for each situation, have the class brainstorm ideas for
showing empathy. Record ideas that would support the person or make the situation
better.
4. Class Activity: Role Play to demonstrate empathy in action.

Scenario #1: While several students are playing basketball, a classmate approaches and
asks if they can join in. One of the students says, “No, we have enough
players”. The other kids just stand there and say nothing so the kid walks
away with his head hanging down.

Freeze this role play and ask the class: What could one or more of the bystanders say
and/or do to show empathy in this situation?

Repeat the role play with the bystanders speaking up.

Scenario #2: While a group of students are walking around the school, one student is
walking along with the group but not taking part in the conversation. One
student says, “Why are you following us?” The other kids just go along
with the student who says this by saying “Yeah, stop following us”.

Freeze the role play and ask the class: What could one or more of the bystanders say
and/or do to show empathy in this situation?

Repeat the role play with the bystanders speaking up.

5. Follow-up Activity:
(a) Brainstorm examples of situations that arise in the class and possible empathic
responses. Discuss and record on the Empathy Chart.

(b) Read newspaper article: “Confessions of a mean girl”, The Vancouver Sun.
Ask students to write a short response to the article and today’s lesson and how it
relates to their life. These will be submitted to the classroom teacher.
Have a follow-up discussion of this activity with the class.
AREA
Lower Intermediate
Social Responsibility
COUNSELLOR
TEAM SD38 RICHMOND

Lesson 5 (Caring Sharing)

Purpose:
• To teach a problem solving strategy that can be used when solving day to day peer conflicts
• To demonstrate that any problem needs to be seen from different points of view for problem
solving to be effective

Process:
1. Introduce the concept of conflict over the sharing of things (materials), space, friends
and attention.

2. Role Play
Have the teacher select two students for a role play. The teacher will play the parent in
this role play. Tell the class that they are going to observe a conflict and see three
different outcomes. They will need to evaluate how well the conflict was handled and the
reasons for this.
Role Play: Two siblings (one primary and one intermediate).
The role play takes place at 5:00 pm, two hours after school. The
younger sibling is watching TV when the older sibling comes in after
being at soccer practice.

Scenario 1: He/She makes fun of the younger one’s program and grabs the TV changer without asking.
An argument ensues and the younger one calls for mom. When “Mom” comes in and is
informed that the younger one has been watching TV for two hours she sends the younger
sibling outside.

Debrief 1: Ask students to identify the problem and feelings from all three points of view.
Did this solution solve the problem? Tie in SR rating.

Scenario 2: The younger one yells “Mom”. The parent comes in and says to the older sibling, “Did you
grab the TV changer? You know the rule in this house is that no one grabs the TV changer
without asking. Give it back to your brother/sister and go to your room!”
Older sibling leaves very angry, slamming the door.

Debrief 2: Ask students to identify the problem and feelings from all three points of view.
Did this solution solve the problem?

Scenario 3: Do the role play a third time, this time the parent calmly asking for the remote, and says, “It
looks like you both want to watch TV. You can have this back when you come up with a
solution you both can agree upon.” The two kids now have to actually problem solve.

Debrief 3: Ask students to identify the problem and feelings from all three points of view.
Ask: Why didn’t they solve the problem well in the first 2 scenarios?
(They were angry, and they were only looking at it from one point of view so
someone always felt it was unfair, etc.)

3. Introduce:
• Have the students pair share in response to the following question:
“What are some possible solutions that the two kids could come with?
(Record ideas on the board in categories – take turns, do it together, choose something
else)
• Present the Caring Sharing poster. Explain that most problems can
be solved using one of these suggestions.

4. Caring Sharing Windmill
Cement the three choices of common solutions by having students follow arm movements
as they repeat the solutions.

Take Turns – arms stretched out in front
Do It Together – arms raised above head
Choose Something… – arms straight out to each side …Else – arms to the side

5. Follow up
(a) Have students complete Problem Solving Worksheet using the Caring Sharing poster
as a guide.

(b) Review student responses and discuss. In doing so, you may want to assign groups
of students to each scenario and ask them to prepare a skit demonstrating effective
problem solving.
NAME: _______________________

Problem Solving Worksheet

Choose to solve one of the three scenarios below:

(a) Two different groups of students are wanting to use the (only) class soccer ball at lunch.
(b) Some students want to use the field area for baseball. Others want to use the field for
soccer.
(c) Two students are wanting to take out the same book from the library for a school project.

1. Write at least three solutions that the two kids could come up with.

_______________________________________________________________________

2. Pick the one you feel would best solve the problem from both points of view.

_______________________________________________________________________

3. Explain why you picked the one you did.

_______________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________
CARING SHARING
Common Solutions To Problems That Require Sharing

Common Problems that Cause Conflict:

- materials (books, toys, equipment, games, etc.)
- space (in line, fields, gym, desks, chairs, floor, water fountain, etc.)
- friends (the triangle)
- attention (adults or peers)

• Although students will frequently ask adults to mediate these problems,
they are sometimes capable of resolving the conflict themselves. For
example, students who are friends with each other are often able to
resolve these types of problems without conflict.

• When you are mediating a situation, it is important to help students
identify the common problem that they share (i.e., they both want the
same ball) rather than be focused on the results of that common problem
(i.e., Student 1: “He pushed me.” Student 2: “But, he grabbed the ball
from me.”).

• Helping students to see the problem from the other student’s point of view
is important in the development of empathy.

Common Solutions

→ Take turns

→ Do It Together

→ Choose Something Else
Note: This will only work if both people want to solve the problem.

• It is important for students to learn that they need to generate more than
one possible solution in order for this skill to be effective.
AREA
Intermediate
Social Responsibility
COUNSELLOR
TEAM SD38 RICHMOND

Lesson 5 (How to Reach a Compromise)

Purpose:
• To demonstrate that any problem needs to be seen from different points of view for problem
solving to be effective
• To teach a problem solving strategy that can be used when solving day to day peer conflicts

Process:
1. Introduce the concept of conflict over the sharing of things (materials), space, friends
and attention.

2. Role Play
Have the teacher select two students for a role play. The teacher will play his or herself in
this role play. Tell the class that they are going to observe a conflict and see three
different outcomes. They will need to evaluate how well the conflict was handled and the
reasons for this.
Role Play: Two students are working at a side table and they
need to share a microscope to look at a slide for science class. Student A has
the microscope and is having difficulty getting a clear focus of the slide. Student B
is getting impatient with the wait as there isn’t much time left in class
and grabs the microscope to have a turn.

Scenario 1: Student A calls for the teacher and complains that Student B took the microscope away
before he/she was finished. Student B complains that Student A was taking so long that
he/she would never get a turn. The teacher explains that it is not acceptable to grab
equipment and that Student B needs to go back to his/her desk until class is over.

Debrief 1: Ask students to identify the problem and feelings from all three points of view.
Did this solution solve the problem? Tie in SR rating.

Scenario 2: Same as above where the teacher is called and each student makes his or her complaint
about the situation. This time, the teacher sides with Student B and says that Student A
needs to give the microscope over to the other student, even though he or she has not
completed the work on the microscope yet.

Debrief 2: Ask students to identify the problem and feelings from all three points of view.
Did this solution solve the problem? Tie in SR rating.

Scenario 3: Do the role play a third time, this time the teacher calmly asks for the microscope, and says,
“It looks like you both want to use the microscope at the same time. You can have this back
when the two of you come up with a solution you both can agree upon.”

Debrief 3: Ask students to identify the problem and feelings from all three points of view.
Ask: Why didn’t they solve the problem well in the first 2 scenarios?
(They were impatient and they were only looking at it from their own point of view so
someone always felt it was unfair, etc.)

3. Pair/Share:
• Have the students discuss responses to the following question:
“What are some possible solutions that the two students could come with?”
(Record ideas on the board in three columns that later will be titled: take turns, do it
together, choose something else)
• Present the Reaching A Compromise poster. Explain that most problems can
be solved using one of these three suggestions.

4. Introduce:
• Present to students the question, “If this role play had been about two friends, would
they have grabbed the microscope from the other and/ or called for the teacher?”
Students will likely answer, “Of course not.”
The question then is, “Why not?”
• Remind the class of the Relationship Ladder we looked at when we introduced the
Levels of Social Responsibility and how we are pretty good at being socially responsible
with those people who are further up our ladder and how we don’t try as hard with those
who are further down our ladder.
• Students will recognize that they already know these skills and use them effortlessly
with people they like. They choose not to use them with others they don’t like as well.
• “What level of Social Responsibility is it when you know how to avoid a conflict
but allow one to occur because you just want it your way?”
• Help students recognize that they could reach a compromise any time a conflict
occurs if they wanted to. Part of being socially responsible is considering the other
person’s point-of-view and taking the time to come up with a compromise that allows
both people to feel satisfied with the solution.

5. Follow up:
(a) Have your class brainstorm typical conflicts that occur in your classroom and among
students their age when they are out on the playground.

(b) Have students complete How To Reach A Compromise worksheet using the poster
as a guide.

(c) Review student responses and discuss. In doing so, you may want to assign groups
of students to each scenario and ask them to prepare a skit demonstrating effective
problem solving.
NAME: _______________________

How To Reach A Compromise

Choose to solve one of the three scenarios below:

(a) You and your friends are playing 3 on 3 basketball. An extra person would like to play.
(b) For your Social Studies project, everyone has to write a biography on a famous
Canadian. You and another student both want to write on the same person.
(c) You and another student want to take out the same book from the library for a school
project.
(d) Pick a typical conflict that you or others your age have to deal with.

1. Write at least three solutions that the two students (groups) could come up with.

_______________________________________________________________________

2. Pick the one you feel would best solve the problem from both points of view.

_______________________________________________________________________

3. If the other student (or group) didn’t like your choice, what could you do then?

_______________________________________________________________________

_______________________________________________________________________
DIRECTING STUDENTS
TO SOLVE THEIR OWN CONFLICTS
Common Problems that Cause Conflict:

- materials (books, toys, equipment, games, etc.)
- space (in line, fields, gym, desks, chairs, floor, water fountain, etc.)
- friends (the triangle)
- attention (adults or peers)

• Although students will frequently ask adults to mediate these problems,
the students are usually capable of resolving the conflict themselves. For
example, those who are friends with each other are able to resolve these
types of problems without help or conflict.

• When you are asked to mediate a situation, it is important to resist the
impulse to simply solve it for them. Instead, help students identify the
common problem that they share rather than focus on the results of that
common problem.
For example: Student 1: “He pushed me.”
Student 2: “But, he grabbed the ball from me.”
The teacher can reframe the situation by identifying the common problem:
Teacher: “Looks like you both want the ball at the same time.”

• Helping students to see the problem from the other student’s point of view
is important in the development of empathy. Being focused only on one’s
own needs is what leads to these types of conflicts.

• It is important for students to learn to generate more than one possible
solution in order for this skill to be effective. If only one alternative is
identified it is easier for the conflict to start all over again. Being open to
more than one solution is the key to reaching a compromise.

• Remind students that this skill only works if both participants want to solve
the problem. If one of the students simply wants it his/her way, then there
can be no compromise and the conflict will not be resolved. This then is a
different type of problem that requires the use of the problem solving skills
in the lessons that are following.
AREA
Intermediate
Social Responsibility
COUNSELLOR
TEAM SD38 RICHMOND

Lesson 6 (Anger Mountain)

Purpose:
• To reinforce the idea that you can’t solve problems well if you are angry
• To introduce the metaphor of the anger mountain (anger management)
• To introduce the concept of anger triggers and physical cues
• To help students understand the impact of negative self talk
• To learn strategies for calming down

Process:
1. Review concepts from problem solving lesson, noting that in any situation where the
problem is not solved from both people’s point of view, at least one person is likely to get
angry.

2. Introduce the idea that feeling anger is a natural response (use Anger Mountain poster).
How you manage those feelings is what matters. Level 3 behaviour is managing that
anger.

“It is OK to Feel Angry, BUT it is NOT OK to hurt others, things or yourself.”
(those are level one behaviours)

3. Draw the anger mountain and generally describe what happens when people don’t control
their anger.
TROUBLE!

• Explain the importance of being able to STOP and THINK before the angry
behaviours occur. Discuss the fact that as one’s level of emotion/angry feeling goes
up, one’s ability to think clearly goes down. (fight, flight or freeze response)

• Explain that it’s important to know what triggers our anger and to recognize when it is
happening to us to stop it before level one behaviours happen. Discuss how we can
sometimes recognize our anger building from these physical symptoms.

• Explain how negative self talk moves us up the mountain. Teachers role play an
example of negative self talk causing anger to escalate.
(e.g., One person bumps another’s desk while they’re working on a special project.)

• Draw on the Anger Mountain the triggers that occur on the way to the top. Have the
class identify that following the initial trigger, all the rest of the triggers are one’s own
negative self talk.
CALM CALM
4. (a) Point out that recognizing one is becoming angry is crucial in order to change
Negative Self Talk to Positive Self Talk.

• Positive Self Talk: Uh oh, I’m getting angry.
I need to calm down.
I can handle this.
It’s not a big deal.
I don’t want to get into trouble.

(b) Teach strategies for calming down:

• Square breathing:
In through the nose, to a count of four, hold for a count of four, out through your
mouth for a count of four and then wait (doing nothing) also for a count of four.
Note, breathing should be controlled and quiet.
Hold

In Out

Wait

• Count to 10 slowly.
As in Square Breathing, Counting to 10 Slowly forces you to think of what you are
doing (breathing or counting) not what happened that you are upset about.

• Walk Away
Give yourself time to calm down away from what is happening that you don’t like.

We know that angry behaviour is a choice.
For example, if our best friend or teacher bumped our desk, we would probably not
go to the top of anger mountain.

5. Teachers re-do the “desk bumping” role play demonstrating positive self talk.
Have the whole class practise together the slow breathing and counting to 10.

Calming down is only the first step to managing your anger. After you have
calmed down, at some point, you will need to deal with your problem.

Present the Ways to Calm Down poster.
6. Follow-up
(a) On the Anger Management Cartoon Strip handout, have each student create a
cartoon strip showing a person faced with an anger causing situation. Use thought
bubbles to show positive self-talk to show how the character is calming down.

(b) Throughout the week, practice square breathing with the class.

(d) Model how teacher keeps himself/herself from climbing anger mountain.
Name __________________________

Anger Management Cartoon Strip
Draw a four panel cartoon showing someone getting angry and
the positive self talk used to help him/her calm down.

1. 2.

Something happens and the person is getting angry. Person thinks in his/her mind that s/he needs to calm down.

3. 4.

Person decides on which way s/he will calm down. The person uses one of the ways to calm down.
AREA
Lower Intermediate
Social Responsibility
COUNSELLOR
TEAM SD38 RICHMOND

Lesson 7 (Ignore and Walk Away)

Purpose:
• To teach ways of responding to Level 1 behaviours
• To provide opportunity to practice skills

Process:
1. Review the concepts of Anger Management (eg. share cartoons)

2. Teach, demonstrate, and practice ways to respond to Level 1 behaviours.
Often the intention of bothering is to get a reaction:
- demonstrate using the analogy of the tennis match/let’s bother ‘so and so’ game
(the tennis ball is like the insult).
- when the ball is hit to you (someone teases/insults you) the game is played where
you tease/insult them back; this gives the botherer a reason to keep the
teasing/insulting going
- just like in tennis, if you refused to hit the ball back (teased/insulted in return), your
partner would lose interest in playing the game

(a) Ignoring
- sometimes it is best to not give the person who is bothering you a reaction of any
kind (point out that often the purpose of bothering is to get a reaction from them).
- at times such as this, Ignoring is a strategy to try. This is not the same as
saying, “I just won’t pay any attention to the person”; in fact, this isn’t possible.
(Close your eyes and try not to think of an elephant.)

What we do instead is take the following steps:
- stay calm (take a few deep breaths) you’ll appear more confident
- continue with your activity
- concentrate on your activity (not on what is being said to you)
- use self-talk as an antidote to what is being said to you

Activity: Teachers demonstrate a situation of bothering.
Use put-down: “You’re always alone. Who would want to play with you?”
(have the ignorer think out loud to demonstrate steps)
(b) Leave the Situation/Play Somewhere Else
- when it appears that Ignoring is not going to be a successful strategy, it is better to
simply Leave the Situation.
- sometimes you can look ahead and choose to Play Somewhere Else
- whenever you feel unsafe in a situation, do not stay there

Activity: Teachers demonstrate a situation of repeated bothering.
Use put-down: “You don’t have any friends because you’re a loser.”
(have the ignorer think out loud to demonstrate steps as he leaves and
then repeat the role play, avoiding the area where the bully is)

3. Class Activity
Randomly select students to respond to teasing situations.
Have students respond to the teasing situation by demonstrating (thinking out loud)
the Helpful Thoughts strategy presented last class and staying calm.

(a) “Phew, your lunch stinks.”
(b) “You’ve got a girl(boy)friend!”
(c) “You won’t do that? What a chicken.”
(d) “Nobody watches that, it’s a baby show.”
(e) “What an idiot.”
(f) “Nobody likes you.

4. Follow-up
(a) Have students complete the Responses to Teasing worksheet.

(b) Role Play Practice:
Teacher goes up to individual students (who have volunteered to take part) and
says one of the five comments from the worksheet. Student needs to say their helpful
thought out loud.
Name:_______________________

Responses to Teasing

Write a helpful thought to each of the following situations.

1. You got a poor mark on the math test and now some of the kids are calling you stupid.

______________________________________________________________________

2. Someone always calls you names when you end up on his/her team.

______________________________________________________________________

3. A group of kids have been teasing you about your new haircut.

______________________________________________________________________

4. You missed a shot in the game and one of the other players has been coming up to you
and saying, “What a loser!”

______________________________________________________________________

5. Some of the kids are calling you fat.

______________________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________________
AREA
Intermediate
Social Responsibility
COUNSELLOR
TEAM SD38 RICHMOND

Lesson 7 (Ignore, Walk Away, Defuse)

Purpose:
• To teach ways of responding to Level 1 behaviours
• To provide opportunity to practice skills

Process:
1. Review the concepts of Anger Management (eg. share cartoons)

3. Green Response to Teasing – Defusing/Agreeing
This type of response to being bothered ‘defuses’ the teasing by having us catch and keep
the ball rather than letting it upset us.
- Use confident body language
- Use a clear voice
- Stay calm and use a Green Response
Most of us think of what we wish we would have said some time later. Having a few
possibilities in mind prepares us with what to say ahead of time.
We need to be very careful when using this skill to be sure that our voice and body
language is not mean or rude or that we make fun of the other person, this would just
make the problem worse, not help resolve it.

4. Class Activity
Randomly select students to respond to teasing situations.
Have students respond to the teasing situation by demonstrating (thinking out loud)
the calming down strategies presented in the last class and by using a Green Response
to Teasing – Defusing/Agreeing

5. Follow-up
(a) Have students complete the Responses to Teasing worksheet.

(b) Role Play Practice:
Teachers could have the students practice by using the situations from the worksheet
for role plays. Students practice defusing comments making sure their responses stay
lighthearted and that they do not “ throw the tennis ball back” at the other person.
Students also say their helpful thoughts out loud.
.

Amazing, but true.
Yeah, you’re right.
That’s life.

Thanks for the Cool, huh?
compliment.

That was supposed
to be a secret.

Thanks for noticing.

Yep, that’s me all right.
Name:_______________________

Responses To Teasing

Write an example of Positive Self Talk you might use for each of the following
situations. Then write a corresponding “Defusing/Agreeing” green response.