The Compassionate Friends of Tallahassee

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					                             The Compassionate Friends
                                   of Tallahassee
                                                    V. 2 No. 4         October-December 2008

      Steering Committee                TCF is a self-help organization offering friendship and understanding to
Chapter Leader   Becky Barch                                 bereaved parents and siblings.
Co-Leader        Sheila Ryan
Treasurer        Juliacarole Love             Butterfly and Hummingbird Memorial Gardens
Newsletter       Janice Mazza
Outreach         Marie Primas-
                 Bradshaw                   Join us for a short program focusing on
                 Juliacarol Love            Butterfly and Hummingbird gardens on
                                            Oct. 13th in our meeting room.
      Monthly Meetings
2 Monday; 7:00 P.M.                    Donna Legare, co-owner of Native Nurseries, will present a short
St. Stephen Lutheran Church            program focusing on Butterfly/ Humming Bird Memorial Gardens. She
2198 N. Meridian Rd.                   will give us ideas about the types of plants and habitats that will attract
Tallahassee, FL 32303                  the butterflies, caterpillars and hummers that live in our area.

 It takes courage to come to the
 first meeting. Bring a friend or
 relative if you wish. You will find                   Coping with Grief During the Holidays
 it is all right to laugh or cry, to        Hospice Foundation of America's New Campaign Offers Advice
 share exactly how you feel or
 say nothing at all. You are not               Plan for the approaching holidays. Be aware that this might be a difficult
 alone and we understand.              time for you. The additional stress may affect you emotionally, cognitively, and
                                       physically; this is a normal reaction. It is important to be prepared for these
          Love Gifts
                                       *Recognize that holidays won't be the same. If you try to keep everything as it
Janice and Nick Mazza in               was, you'll be disappointed. Doing things a bit differently can acknowledge the
memory of Christopher                  change while preserving continuity with the past.
                                       *Be careful not to isolate yourself. It's all right to take time for yourself but
A special thank you to Big             don't cut yourself off from the support of family and friends.
Bend Hospice for the use
                                       *The holidays may affect other family members. Talk over your plans. Respect
of their facility for the
                                       their choices and needs, and compromise if necessary.
“Celebrate Children Concert”
and our annual Candle                  *Avoid additional stress. Decide what you really want to do, and what can be
Lighting.                              avoided.

                                       It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds
                                       remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar
          Wish List                    tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.
       Small T.V. and VCR
                                       Rose Kennedy
                                       US wife of Joseph Patrick Kennedy Sr. (1890 - 1995)
                                           Celebrate the Children Concert
                                                with Alan Pederson

                                     November 13th, Big Bend Hospice Conference Room

Alan Pedersen has been performing for more than 25 years. An accomplished singer and award
winning songwriter, he spent several years writing and recording music in Nashville, Tennessee.
Alan has had several songs recorded by other artists.

His writing has not been limited to music, he has written commercials, radio news copy, and
collaborations for television shows and other comedy projects. His performing credits are numerous
as well. Alan has worked as an actor, stand-up comedian, keynote speaker/emcee, and in radio as a
network news and sports reporter for Westwood One Communications. He is Currently living in
Englewood, Colorado; Alan is the father of four boys and an angel.

In August of 2001 Alan’s life took a tragic turn, his 18-year-old and only daughter Ashley was killed
in an automobile accident. This tragedy would take his life in a direction he never imagined.
Struggling for months to find answers and trying to cope with tremendous pain and anger, he
entered a grief program in Denver, Colorado and began attending monthly meetings of a support
organization (The Compassionate Friends.)

Alan credits these organizations with saving his life and inspiring him to honor his daughter’s life by
helping others. In July of 2003, Alan released a CD of songs he had written about his walk through
the valley of grief, titled Ashley’s Songbook. In 2006, he released a follow up CD titled "A Little
Farther Down The Road." Alan now helps others by sharing his story of faith and hope. His message
is simple; grief and loss offer the opportunity for ordinary people to accomplish extraordinary things.
He believes that healing begins when we once again give of ourselves by helping others. Alan
speaks and plays his music for churches and grief organizations around the country. In 2008 Alan
will release his third CD of original music about the journey bereaved families must walk.

Alan has performed at National Conferences for The Compassionate Friends, Bereaved Parents of
the USA, and the World Gathering on Bereavement. Alan will travel and speak 120 times in 2008 for
local chapters of TCF, BP-USA, and other grief organizations dedicated to helping families grieving
the loss of a child.

In February of 2008 Alan released his third CD "More Songs From the Journey" which features
"Celebrate the Children" which is the anthem of his concerts and events this year.

                                     “Grief is like a long valley,
                                  A winding valley where any bend
                                 May reveal a totally new landscape”

                                        From “A Grief Observed”
                                              C.S. Lewis

                                                             I Light This Candle

                                                I light this candle in memory of you,
                                                My life, my child, my heart,
              TCF Library -- Checkout books     May it shine bright and true,
and materials from our library. If you have     As you did from the start.
suggestions or would like to donate a book to
the collection let us know                      In it's flickering flame I see,
                                                The life we shared togethe r,
                                                The love and wonde rful memories,
                                                That I'll ca rry with me forever.
               A Love Story
                                                I light this candle in memory of you,
       The mention of my child’s name,          I look up to the Heavens where you are,
         may bring tears to my eyes.            I see the lights of Heaven shining bright
           But it never fails to bring          too,
               music to my ears.                But your candle shines brighte r tha n the
          If you really are my friend,          brightest star.
          please don’t keep me from
         hearing the beautiful music.           My child you are still so much a part of
         It soothes my broken heart,
          and fills my soul with love.
                                                Even though you a re no longer here ,
                                                You live on in my heart where you will
                                                always be,
                                                No matter what, I will always keep you
   Nancy Williams, 1988
   Central New Jersey Chapter TCF               On this special night I light this candle for
                                                And I hope eve ry one who sees it will
         Submit Articles, Poems, etc.           How very special you are, how much you
                                                are loved and missed too,
   If you want to submit an article, poem or    And will remember you with me whe n they
   any information for our next newsletter,     see its golden glow.........
   please send it to Janice Mazza at These could be
                                                Judi Walker
   original materials or something you have
   found that you would like to share.          In memory of her son Sha ne
   Please send by December 15th.                & all the other children who
                                                have left this earth
   Our next meeting will be October 13th,       2003
   St. Stephen Lutheran Church, 2198 N.
   Meridian Rd., Tallahassee. (we meet in
   the room on the south side of the

                        'Twas the Night Before Christmas"
                            ~ For Bereaved Parents ~

'Twas the month before Christmas and I dreaded the days,
That I knew I was facing - the holiday craze.
The stores were all filled with holiday lights,
In hopes of drawing customers by day and by night.

As others were making their holiday plans,
My heart was breaking - I couldn't understand.
I had lost my dear child a few years before,
And I knew what my holiday had in store.

When out of nowhere, there arose such a sound,
I sprang to my feet and was looking around,
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash

The sight that I saw took my breath away,
And my tears turned to smiles in the light of the day.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a cluster of butterflies fluttering near.
With beauty and grace they performed a dance,
I knew in a moment this wasn't by chance.

The hope that they gave me was a sign from above,
That my child was still near me and that I was loved.
The message they brought was my holiday gift,
And I cried when I saw them in spite of myself.

As I knelt closer to get a better view,
One allowed me to pet it - as if it knew -
That I needed the touch of its fragile wings,
To help me get through the holiday scene.

In the days that followed I carried the thought,
Of the message the butterflies left in my heart -
That no matter what happens or what days lie ahead,
Our children are with us - they're not really dead.

Yes, the message of the butterflies still rings in my ears,
A message of hope - a message so dear.
And I imagined they sang as they flew out of sight,
"To all bereaved parents - We love you tonight!"

 -By Faye McCord - TCF, Jackson, MS
(the following poem is submitted in loving memory of my son, Lane McCord (/26/65 -
9/13/98) and is dedicated to all bereaved parents)

Join the Tallahassee Chapter of The Compassionate Friends and Big Bend
Hospice on Dec 14th, for the Worldwide Candle Lighting Ceremony, and light a
candle in memory of a child who has died so that “their light may always shine.”

Held annually on the second Sunday in December, the service unites bereaved
families and friends and gives them the opportunity to honor children who have
died, and remember and celebrate their lives.

       Begun in the United States in 1997, the Worldwide Candle Lighting is
believed to be the largest mass candle lighting on the globe, creating a virtual
24-hour wave of light as it moves from time zone to time zone. As candles light
up at 7 p.m. local time around the world, hundreds of thousands of people
commemorate and honor children in a way that transcends all boundaries.

       Tallahassee’s Worldwide Candle Lighting service is open to the public and
will begin at 6:30 p.m., at Big Bend Hospice, 1723 Mahan Center Blvd. The
candle-lighting ceremony will be held outside from 7 to 8 p.m. Candles will be
provided. You are welcome to bring a chair. Light refreshments will be served
following the ceremony.

      There will be a potluck dinner before the program from 4:30-6:00 at

      The Worldwide Candle Lighting gives bereaved families everywhere the
opportunity to remember their child . . . that their light may always shine.

   Our Children Remembered

          Child/Sibling           Birth Death
Joseph (Jessie) Correia           10/4
Shawn DeLester Whaley             10/4
Kevin Lloyd                       10/5
Robert Sean Gunn                  10/12
Sarah Elizabeth Cowling           10/16
Andrew (Scott) Mathews            10/16
Sara A Garretson                  10/17
William (Will) Aurthur Ryan       10/18
Kathleen Oldenburg                10/19 10/19
Nicholas Danger Gallagher         10/20 10/20
Steven Patrick Piotrowski         10/24
Jessie Thaell                     10/28
Janna Lynn Songer                 10/31
Trace Boyd                               10/4
Kari Lea Montford                        10/5
Abraham Smith, Sr                        10/6
Will Wright                              10/6
Jody Michael Chambers                    10/7
Kelly Lea Lawson                         10/8
Rebecca (Becky) Tranchand
James "Jamo" A. Pearlman                10/15
Kevin Lloyd                             10/27
Stephanie Irene Louise Grantham         10/28
Eric Lynn Stafford                      10/29
          Child/Sibling           Birth Death
Chad T Roberts                    11/1
Abraham Smith, Jr                 11/2
Joel Gray Henry                   11/2
Jody Michael Chambers             11/2
Rebecca (Becky) Tranchand         11/4
Christopher Thomas Reed           11/7
Joshua Taylor Martin              11/8
Robert (Bobby) I Bodee, Jr        11/12
Benjamin (Shane) Bidwell          11/16
Zelma Smith-Jordan                11/17
Danny John Densmore               11/18
Damien Scott Woods                11/22

Emily Faglie                      11/22
Daniel (Danny) Brian Quakenbush   11/23
Charles Douglas (Doug) Kirby      11/25
Christopher John Mazza                     11/1
Milton Johnson                             11/1
Richard (Rick) Thompson                    11/4
Kyle Davis Taylor                          11/5
Jessie Thaell                              11/6
Donald Mathis                              11/8
Michael Lindberg Hardy, Jr                11/11
Joshua Taylor Martin                      11/13
Luke Rigsby                               11/13
Heather Amanda Brooks                     11/17
Barbara (Dodie) Kever                     11/20
Kenneth (Kenny) A Stevenson               11/23
Suzie Mueller                             11/23
Lance Redman                              11/30
Andrew Arosemena                          11/25
William Bryan Royce                       11/16
           Child/Sibling          Birth Death
Scott Paul Sullivan               12/5
Gabriel Gershom Burke             12/5
Samuel Maurice Williford          12/13
Faith & Daniel Henry              12/14
David Edward Kinsey               12/15
Kelly Lane Gaddy                  12/17
Stephanie Irene Louise Grantham   12/20
Amy Beth Schauf                   12/22 12/1
Libby Lowery                      12/28
Rusty Laminack                    12/29
Stephen Love                      12/30
Sherry Lynn Fulcher               12/31
Timothy E Page                    12/31
Christine (Christy) Lynn Schauf   12/31 12/1
Douglas (Doug) Prado Dickert             12/1
Ronell Scroggins                         12/3
Tiffany Miranda Spikes                   12/3
Steven Patrick Piotrowski                12/7
Samuel Maurice Williford                12/13
Faith & Daniel Henry                    12/15
Robbie Alexander                        12/16
Sarah Elizabeth Cowling                 12/20
Jonathan Frederick Barch                12/20
Michael Kenneth Eubanks                 12/26
Sara Kathryn (Kathy) Hau                12/30