The Compassionate Friends
V. 2 No. 4 October-December 2008
Steering Committee TCF is a self-help organization offering friendship and understanding to
Chapter Leader Becky Barch bereaved parents and siblings.
Co-Leader Sheila Ryan
Treasurer Juliacarole Love Butterfly and Hummingbird Memorial Gardens
Newsletter Janice Mazza
Outreach Marie Primas-
Bradshaw Join us for a short program focusing on
Juliacarol Love Butterfly and Hummingbird gardens on
Oct. 13th in our meeting room.
2 Monday; 7:00 P.M. Donna Legare, co-owner of Native Nurseries, will present a short
St. Stephen Lutheran Church program focusing on Butterfly/ Humming Bird Memorial Gardens. She
2198 N. Meridian Rd. will give us ideas about the types of plants and habitats that will attract
Tallahassee, FL 32303 the butterflies, caterpillars and hummers that live in our area.
It takes courage to come to the
first meeting. Bring a friend or
relative if you wish. You will find Coping with Grief During the Holidays
it is all right to laugh or cry, to Hospice Foundation of America's New Campaign Offers Advice
share exactly how you feel or
say nothing at all. You are not Plan for the approaching holidays. Be aware that this might be a difficult
alone and we understand. time for you. The additional stress may affect you emotionally, cognitively, and
physically; this is a normal reaction. It is important to be prepared for these
*Recognize that holidays won't be the same. If you try to keep everything as it
Janice and Nick Mazza in was, you'll be disappointed. Doing things a bit differently can acknowledge the
memory of Christopher change while preserving continuity with the past.
*Be careful not to isolate yourself. It's all right to take time for yourself but
A special thank you to Big don't cut yourself off from the support of family and friends.
Bend Hospice for the use
*The holidays may affect other family members. Talk over your plans. Respect
of their facility for the
their choices and needs, and compromise if necessary.
“Celebrate Children Concert”
and our annual Candle *Avoid additional stress. Decide what you really want to do, and what can be
It has been said, 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds
remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar
Wish List tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone.
Small T.V. and VCR
US wife of Joseph Patrick Kennedy Sr. (1890 - 1995)
Celebrate the Children Concert
with Alan Pederson
November 13th, Big Bend Hospice Conference Room
Alan Pedersen has been performing for more than 25 years. An accomplished singer and award
winning songwriter, he spent several years writing and recording music in Nashville, Tennessee.
Alan has had several songs recorded by other artists.
His writing has not been limited to music, he has written commercials, radio news copy, and
collaborations for television shows and other comedy projects. His performing credits are numerous
as well. Alan has worked as an actor, stand-up comedian, keynote speaker/emcee, and in radio as a
network news and sports reporter for Westwood One Communications. He is Currently living in
Englewood, Colorado; Alan is the father of four boys and an angel.
In August of 2001 Alan’s life took a tragic turn, his 18-year-old and only daughter Ashley was killed
in an automobile accident. This tragedy would take his life in a direction he never imagined.
Struggling for months to find answers and trying to cope with tremendous pain and anger, he
entered a grief program in Denver, Colorado and began attending monthly meetings of a support
organization (The Compassionate Friends.)
Alan credits these organizations with saving his life and inspiring him to honor his daughter’s life by
helping others. In July of 2003, Alan released a CD of songs he had written about his walk through
the valley of grief, titled Ashley’s Songbook. In 2006, he released a follow up CD titled "A Little
Farther Down The Road." Alan now helps others by sharing his story of faith and hope. His message
is simple; grief and loss offer the opportunity for ordinary people to accomplish extraordinary things.
He believes that healing begins when we once again give of ourselves by helping others. Alan
speaks and plays his music for churches and grief organizations around the country. In 2008 Alan
will release his third CD of original music about the journey bereaved families must walk.
Alan has performed at National Conferences for The Compassionate Friends, Bereaved Parents of
the USA, and the World Gathering on Bereavement. Alan will travel and speak 120 times in 2008 for
local chapters of TCF, BP-USA, and other grief organizations dedicated to helping families grieving
the loss of a child.
In February of 2008 Alan released his third CD "More Songs From the Journey" which features
"Celebrate the Children" which is the anthem of his concerts and events this year.
“Grief is like a long valley,
A winding valley where any bend
May reveal a totally new landscape”
From “A Grief Observed”
I Light This Candle
I light this candle in memory of you,
My life, my child, my heart,
TCF Library -- Checkout books May it shine bright and true,
and materials from our library. If you have As you did from the start.
suggestions or would like to donate a book to
the collection let us know In it's flickering flame I see,
The life we shared togethe r,
The love and wonde rful memories,
That I'll ca rry with me forever.
A Love Story
I light this candle in memory of you,
The mention of my child’s name, I look up to the Heavens where you are,
may bring tears to my eyes. I see the lights of Heaven shining bright
But it never fails to bring too,
music to my ears. But your candle shines brighte r tha n the
If you really are my friend, brightest star.
please don’t keep me from
hearing the beautiful music. My child you are still so much a part of
It soothes my broken heart,
and fills my soul with love.
Even though you a re no longer here ,
You live on in my heart where you will
No matter what, I will always keep you
Nancy Williams, 1988
Central New Jersey Chapter TCF On this special night I light this candle for
And I hope eve ry one who sees it will
Submit Articles, Poems, etc. How very special you are, how much you
are loved and missed too,
If you want to submit an article, poem or And will remember you with me whe n they
any information for our next newsletter, see its golden glow.........
please send it to Janice Mazza at
email@example.com. These could be
original materials or something you have
found that you would like to share. In memory of her son Sha ne
Please send by December 15th. & all the other children who
have left this earth
Our next meeting will be October 13th, 2003
St. Stephen Lutheran Church, 2198 N.
Meridian Rd., Tallahassee. (we meet in
the room on the south side of the
'Twas the Night Before Christmas"
~ For Bereaved Parents ~
'Twas the month before Christmas and I dreaded the days,
That I knew I was facing - the holiday craze.
The stores were all filled with holiday lights,
In hopes of drawing customers by day and by night.
As others were making their holiday plans,
My heart was breaking - I couldn't understand.
I had lost my dear child a few years before,
And I knew what my holiday had in store.
When out of nowhere, there arose such a sound,
I sprang to my feet and was looking around,
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash
The sight that I saw took my breath away,
And my tears turned to smiles in the light of the day.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a cluster of butterflies fluttering near.
With beauty and grace they performed a dance,
I knew in a moment this wasn't by chance.
The hope that they gave me was a sign from above,
That my child was still near me and that I was loved.
The message they brought was my holiday gift,
And I cried when I saw them in spite of myself.
As I knelt closer to get a better view,
One allowed me to pet it - as if it knew -
That I needed the touch of its fragile wings,
To help me get through the holiday scene.
In the days that followed I carried the thought,
Of the message the butterflies left in my heart -
That no matter what happens or what days lie ahead,
Our children are with us - they're not really dead.
Yes, the message of the butterflies still rings in my ears,
A message of hope - a message so dear.
And I imagined they sang as they flew out of sight,
"To all bereaved parents - We love you tonight!"
-By Faye McCord - TCF, Jackson, MS
(the following poem is submitted in loving memory of my son, Lane McCord (/26/65 -
9/13/98) and is dedicated to all bereaved parents)
Join the Tallahassee Chapter of The Compassionate Friends and Big Bend
Hospice on Dec 14th, for the Worldwide Candle Lighting Ceremony, and light a
candle in memory of a child who has died so that “their light may always shine.”
Held annually on the second Sunday in December, the service unites bereaved
families and friends and gives them the opportunity to honor children who have
died, and remember and celebrate their lives.
Begun in the United States in 1997, the Worldwide Candle Lighting is
believed to be the largest mass candle lighting on the globe, creating a virtual
24-hour wave of light as it moves from time zone to time zone. As candles light
up at 7 p.m. local time around the world, hundreds of thousands of people
commemorate and honor children in a way that transcends all boundaries.
Tallahassee’s Worldwide Candle Lighting service is open to the public and
will begin at 6:30 p.m., at Big Bend Hospice, 1723 Mahan Center Blvd. The
candle-lighting ceremony will be held outside from 7 to 8 p.m. Candles will be
provided. You are welcome to bring a chair. Light refreshments will be served
following the ceremony.
There will be a potluck dinner before the program from 4:30-6:00 at
The Worldwide Candle Lighting gives bereaved families everywhere the
opportunity to remember their child . . . that their light may always shine.
Our Children Remembered
Child/Sibling Birth Death
Joseph (Jessie) Correia 10/4
Shawn DeLester Whaley 10/4
Kevin Lloyd 10/5
Robert Sean Gunn 10/12
Sarah Elizabeth Cowling 10/16
Andrew (Scott) Mathews 10/16
Sara A Garretson 10/17
William (Will) Aurthur Ryan 10/18
Kathleen Oldenburg 10/19 10/19
Nicholas Danger Gallagher 10/20 10/20
Steven Patrick Piotrowski 10/24
Jessie Thaell 10/28
Janna Lynn Songer 10/31
Trace Boyd 10/4
Kari Lea Montford 10/5
Abraham Smith, Sr 10/6
Will Wright 10/6
Jody Michael Chambers 10/7
Kelly Lea Lawson 10/8
Rebecca (Becky) Tranchand
James "Jamo" A. Pearlman 10/15
Kevin Lloyd 10/27
Stephanie Irene Louise Grantham 10/28
Eric Lynn Stafford 10/29
Child/Sibling Birth Death
Chad T Roberts 11/1
Abraham Smith, Jr 11/2
Joel Gray Henry 11/2
Jody Michael Chambers 11/2
Rebecca (Becky) Tranchand 11/4
Christopher Thomas Reed 11/7
Joshua Taylor Martin 11/8
Robert (Bobby) I Bodee, Jr 11/12
Benjamin (Shane) Bidwell 11/16
Zelma Smith-Jordan 11/17
Danny John Densmore 11/18
Damien Scott Woods 11/22
Emily Faglie 11/22
Daniel (Danny) Brian Quakenbush 11/23
Charles Douglas (Doug) Kirby 11/25
Christopher John Mazza 11/1
Milton Johnson 11/1
Richard (Rick) Thompson 11/4
Kyle Davis Taylor 11/5
Jessie Thaell 11/6
Donald Mathis 11/8
Michael Lindberg Hardy, Jr 11/11
Joshua Taylor Martin 11/13
Luke Rigsby 11/13
Heather Amanda Brooks 11/17
Barbara (Dodie) Kever 11/20
Kenneth (Kenny) A Stevenson 11/23
Suzie Mueller 11/23
Lance Redman 11/30
Andrew Arosemena 11/25
William Bryan Royce 11/16
Child/Sibling Birth Death
Scott Paul Sullivan 12/5
Gabriel Gershom Burke 12/5
Samuel Maurice Williford 12/13
Faith & Daniel Henry 12/14
David Edward Kinsey 12/15
Kelly Lane Gaddy 12/17
Stephanie Irene Louise Grantham 12/20
Amy Beth Schauf 12/22 12/1
Libby Lowery 12/28
Rusty Laminack 12/29
Stephen Love 12/30
Sherry Lynn Fulcher 12/31
Timothy E Page 12/31
Christine (Christy) Lynn Schauf 12/31 12/1
Douglas (Doug) Prado Dickert 12/1
Ronell Scroggins 12/3
Tiffany Miranda Spikes 12/3
Steven Patrick Piotrowski 12/7
Samuel Maurice Williford 12/13
Faith & Daniel Henry 12/15
Robbie Alexander 12/16
Sarah Elizabeth Cowling 12/20
Jonathan Frederick Barch 12/20
Michael Kenneth Eubanks 12/26
Sara Kathryn (Kathy) Hau 12/30