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					                                                                          “A Righteous Wife” Part TWO

                                              By Shaikhah Umm Abdir Rahman Al-Imaam Al-Yemeniyyah



                            “A Righteous Wife”
                                             Lecture by

Shaikh’ah Umm Abdir Rahman Al-Imaam Al-Yemeniyyah (May Allâh preserve her)

So if a man sees an adorned woman, especially in our time, when there are women barely
wearing anything, she (May Allâh preserve her) said, if he feels something and he needs
relief, then the responsibility of the wife is to respond to the call of her husband, and
help him protect his eyes and protect his private parts. And by not doing this, it is very
dangerous as well as disobedient. So then she (May Allâh preserve her) mentioned the
ways we can be obedient to our husbands.

First: We should not fast outside of Ramadan without his permission. So if you are going
to fast a voluntary fast, then you must take your husband’s permission.

Second: Not to let anyone into your husband’s house, except with his permission.

Third: Not to spend his money without his permission. You are allowed to give Saadiqah
with his money without his permission but if you give Saadiqah with his money without
him knowing, he gets a share of the reward. So the Muslimah has to understand and be
constant in giving her husband what he wants so that she can live a happy life in the
Dunya, and she gets rewarded when she meets Allâh, because this is our Islâmic
responsibility.

Our Islâmic responsibilities are not to work or to be outside, or teaching the people, or
making money. Rather, our Islâmic responsibilities are our house and our children.

The Prophet  said,
             “All of you are shepherds and all of you are responsible for your flock”.

So the woman is a shepherd and she is responsible for her house and her children. So this
is the responsibility that Allâh has given to the woman and it takes precedence over all
other responsibilities. So you must care for your children, your house, and your husband,
because you will be asked about this. And by taking care of your house, your children,
and your husband, it adorns you in front of your husband’s eyes and he will find you to
be beautiful. And by knowing that you are the woman, not the man, you should not
involve yourself in your husband’s affairs or try to take his place, and you need to show
him his importance to you. And the example she (May Allâh preserve her) gave was how

                                    “A Righteous Wife Luncheon”
        Translated by Umm Maysarah Doaa | Transcribed by: Nasrin Nisshoami | Edited by DTSSBC
                              7 Jumaada Al-Awal 1430 A.H.| May 2, 2009
                                     www.alhujjahpublication.org


                                                 1
                                                                         “A Righteous Wife” Part TWO

                                             By Shaikhah Umm Abdir Rahman Al-Imaam Al-Yemeniyyah


Ayesha  used to take care of the Prophet . She used to clean his clothes before he
went to prayer if they were dirty. She used to put perfume on him before he went out to
prayer. She used to obey him and serve him, and she used to pour water on his head
when he took Ghushul. She used to wash his head for the Ghushul and she was
consistent in this, because she knew that obedience to her husband is something serious
and is a command from Allâh.

She (May Allâh preserve her) gave an example of one of the Tabe’yeen’s who her
daughter was getting married and was about to leave the house of her father to go to the
house of her husband. And before she left her, she [e.g. the mother] said to her
daughter; “Oh! My daughter, if it were necessary to give this advice to you because of
good manners or because of noble decent, then it would be unnecessary for me to give
this advice to you for you possess these qualities. But it will serve as a reminder for those
who are forgetful and help those who are wise. So Oh! My daughter, if a woman was
able to do without her husband by virtue of her father’s wealth and by need of her father,
then you of all people would be the most able to do without a husband, but women were
created for men, just as they were created for them.”

She said; “Oh! My daughter you are about to leave the home in which you grew up, and
first learned how to walk to go to a place that you do not know, and to a companion that
you are unfamiliar with. By marrying you, he has become a master over you, so be like a
servant to him, and he will be like a servant to you”. So the Shaikh’ah (May Allâh
preserve her) said; “By you humbling yourself in front of your husband, and not being
like a slave but in fulfilling his rights, and trying to serve him, and showing him that
serving him pleases you, then it will make him feel motivated to be the same way to you.”
So the mother said; “Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a
reminder for you.

The First and Second: Is to be content with his company and listen to him and obey
him, for content brings peace of mind and listening and obeying him pleases Allâh. So
the Shaikh’ah (May Allâh preserve her) said, if you are content with your husband,
instead of looking to the qualities he doesn’t have, and looking at the qualities that other
men have, by being content with your husband this causes tranquility in your heart, so
you are at peace, and by obeying him, this obedience is not just to your husband but to
Allâh.




                                   “A Righteous Wife Luncheon”
       Translated by Umm Maysarah Doaa | Transcribed by: Nasrin Nisshoami | Edited by DTSSBC
                             7 Jumaada Al-Awal 1430 A.H.| May 2, 2009
                                    www.alhujjahpublication.org


                                                2
                                                                         “A Righteous Wife” Part TWO

                                             By Shaikhah Umm Abdir Rahman Al-Imaam Al-Yemeniyyah


 The Third and Fourth: Is that you make sure you look good and you smell good. So he
should not see anything ugly in you and he should not smell anything but pleasant smells
from you, and kohl is the best type of beautification, and water is better than the rarest
of perfume.

So the Shaikh’ah (May Allâh preserve her) said that we should be keen in adorning
ourselves for our husbands, and make sure that we smell good and look good and being
prepared for them when they come home or at bed time and so on.

The Seventh and Eighth: Is to take care of his servants, children, and take care of his
wealth. For taking care of his wealth shows that you appreciate him, and taking care of
his children and servants shows good management.

The Ninth and Tenth: Is that you should never disclose any of his secrets and never
disobey any of his orders. For if you disclose any of his secrets you will never feel safe
from his possible betrayal, and if you disobey him, his heart will be filled with hatred
towards you. So if you spread your husband’s secrets, then he might betray your secrets,
and if you disobey him it will make him angry and make the marriage life very straining.

So the Shaikh’ah’s (May Allâh preserve her) last advice was that we must be grateful for
the blessings of marriage, and now we must care for our husbands and give them their
rights. And be patient during whatever we might endure, and that the Muslim woman
must be good and generous with her husband’s family, and respect them, especially the
ones closest to him, which is his mother, and this is part of obedience to her husband,
and this is part of living with him in a good way. And she (May Allâh preserve her) again
brought up the [example] of the wife of Abu Talha , who knew what she could do to
get close to her husband, and how to break the bad news to him, and she did it. She also
said, of course the woman has rights over her husband, and the man has to be in charge
of her in a good way, and that is for another lecture, insha-Allâh.

And it’s very important for us to make our husbands feel appreciated the way that
Ayesha  made her husband feel appreciated. When he stayed away from his wives, he
swore to stay away from his wives for one month, and when he came to her on the
twenty ninth day, she said to him; “It is the twenty ninth day, only, not the thirtieth,
because I have been counting the days.” So he told her; “This month is only twenty nine
days.” So her statement showed him that she was counting the days and the hours to be
with him again.



                                   “A Righteous Wife Luncheon”
       Translated by Umm Maysarah Doaa | Transcribed by: Nasrin Nisshoami | Edited by DTSSBC
                             7 Jumaada Al-Awal 1430 A.H.| May 2, 2009
                                    www.alhujjahpublication.org


                                                3
                                                                         “A Righteous Wife” Part TWO

                                             By Shaikhah Umm Abdir Rahman Al-Imaam Al-Yemeniyyah


 And there are many other examples from the Sahâbiyyât which we should, insha-Allâh,
research and study, and there are many things we can do to make the husband feel love
and attachment to the wife, and above all, look for the evidences in the Qur’ân and
Sunnah, and ask for the help of Allâh. And the Shaikh’ah (May Allâh preserve her) gave
her Salaam to all of the sisters, and thanked us for giving her the opportunity to give the
lecture, and by giving the lecture, she as well as us can learn and try to implement what
we have learned together.


                                            THE END




                                   “A Righteous Wife Luncheon”
       Translated by Umm Maysarah Doaa | Transcribed by: Nasrin Nisshoami | Edited by DTSSBC
                             7 Jumaada Al-Awal 1430 A.H.| May 2, 2009
                                    www.alhujjahpublication.org


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