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					                          Chpt. 1 A Psychiatrist’S Toolkit
Ü   A Psychiatrist’s techniques as they relate to business
    situations.
    ë Let your natural curiosity guide you.
    ë Don’t let yourself be injured by negative comments.
    ë Unless the words are “You are fired?” or “No deal,” assume that a
      solution can still be reached.
    ë Don’t take anything personally. Your feeling don’t matter in
      business. If you make them matter, then you will pay for it.
    ë Accepting your feelings and personal problems as part of the way
      you are without making excuses or apologies for them. As you
      search, be sure not to blame others.
    ë Be open about your ignorance in order to get the most assistance.
    ë When someone asks your opinion, simply reveal your thinking.
        ñ Don’t try to sell your version of he truth.
        ñ If you have to lie about what you believe, your opinion doesn’t matter.
ë
                                                     Toolkitit(continued)
    There’s no point telling the truth if all you’ll gain from is to offend
  others.
ë Keep your goals clearly in mind.
     ñ State only the information that is necessary to support your position.
     ñ Don’t try to demonstrate how brilliant or how worthy you are, or how wrong
       someone else is.
     ñ Be helpful, but don’t needlessly provide ammunition to a conflict that is
       none of your business.
ë Speak in as generous terms toward others as you can.
     ñ Don’t be afraid to say “I want” and “I need.”
ë It’s more appropriate to be closed while you survey the opposition and
  seek your strongest position.
     ñ The times for acting boldly aren’t that frequent.
     ñ Be closed when information is scanty.
ë Be flexible, understand that you actions must be planned and use
  being closed to plan, not to avoid.
     ñ Admitting what you don’t know can be a highly successful approach to
       unfamiliar business situations. Admitting your ignorance will get you further
       than almost any other tactic.
                            Flying Blind & Making Decisions
Ü   If you must fly blind, here are some guidelines for faking.
    ë 1) Ask for others? opinions, but don’t give your own. Just say, “It’s
      not quite right.”
    ë 2) Always point out that you are still looking for the best direction.
    ë 3) Pose disarming questions like “How do you know that is true?”
    ë 4) State truisms vigorously: “ I think we can do better, don’t you?”
    ë 5) Get other people to express their self-doubts by asking “What if
      your calculations are wrong?”
    ë 6) Make few decisions. You can avoid being confronted by never
      making decisions.
Ü   You can distinguish yourself by making a decision when
    others are afraid to.
    ë If you want to lead, to create forward momentum and influence
      others, you must project a belief in yourself.
    ë A manager’s response to an employee’s statement that the
      manager does not understand the complexity of the problem:
        ñ “Of course I don’t. That’s what you being paid for. I just know what is
          needed to save this company and your jobs.”
                                Simple Truths & Walking Away
Ü   Managers get to the truth by:
    ë   Figure out what’s wrong.
    ë   Don’t look to blame.
    ë   It gets in the way of clear thinking.
    ë   Make a plan to set it right.
    ë   Delegate the details.
    ë   Trust your judgment and keep everyone on course.
    ë   Know when to leave.
Ü   Walk away when you realize you don’t belong:
    ë   1) Walk away when the other person refuses to hear you.
    ë   2) Walk away when you are being provoked into a fight.
    ë   3) Walk away when the person is out of control.
    ë   4) Walk away when you are being lied to.
    ë   5) Walk away as soon as it makes no sense to be there.
    ë   Don’t walk away just to avoid painful situations, but do walk away
        from those that are pointless, futile, draining, and unproductive.
                 Chpt2. Your Strengths and Weaknesses
Ü   No one succeeds in business without understanding his or
    her strong and weak points.
    ë YOUR BEST JUDGMENTS-SUCCESSES
        ñ (homework)
    ë YOUR WORSST JUDGMENTS-FAILURES
        ñ (homework)
    ë YOUR MAXIMUM VULNERABILITY
        ñ (homework)
        ñ Your weakest point.
        ñ You are most vulnerable when you do not know or accept this
          weakness.
    ë SKILLS YOU NEED
        ñ (homework)
    ë YOUR STRENGTH
        ñ (homework)
                                      Analyze Your Answers
Ü   What kind of person is this?
    ë Would you want this person as your employer, employee, or co-
      worker?
    ë Is this person successful, happy?
    ë In what way does this person need to grow?
    ë How comfortable would you feel betting your life on this person?
Ü   Balancing belief in oneself with the potential for self-
    deception in mind is most important
    ë No one particular strength is more important than any other in
      achieving success being open about your weakness, whatever it is,
      will keep you from failing,
    ë Believing in yourself, working hard, giving your best, and being
      willing to take risks ensure success.
                                  Business Problems Are People
Ü   Successful Traits for Dealing With People Include:
    ë   Believe in self
    ë   Never arrogant
    ë   Open to own faults
    ë   Accept responsibility for failures and have courage to succeed
    ë   Do not blame others
Ü   Look Back at Your Profile
    ë How did your profile compare to the profiles of the people in the book?
    ë How honest were you about admitting your weaknesses?
    ë Do you use your strengths to their best advantage? (these are your
      competitive advantages)
    ë What personal traits betray you?
    ë Do you take full responsibility for your performance?
    ë How can you be better?
    ë You don’t have to be perfect to be successful, but you have to be
      aware to be effective.
                                 Chpt 3 How to Read People
Ü   Feelings
    ë Get your own emotions out of the way.
    ë Pay close attention to any negative first impression when you meet
      another person.
        ñ If you don’t feel at ease in dealing with the person and this feeling
          doesn’t change as time passes, it is unlikely that you are ever going to
          be able to get down to the business of working efficiently.
        ñ However, you should be willing to change your first opinion.
        ñ Try to determine if there is a pattern to the way you misjudge.
    ë Be aware of your weakness.
Ü   Three basic personality types: dependent, controlling,
    andcompetitive.
    ë Rare to find a pure type, although a person is likely to stay
      predominantly the same type all his life.
                                    DEPENDENT PEOPLE
Ü   Characteristics
    ë They are happiest when they are pleasing another person.
    ë They feel most damaged when they are rejected.
    ë Their constant conflict is that they fear losing what they have as
      much as they enjoy possessing it.
    ë A need for someone else in order to feel complete, a fear of
      abandonment, and a need for reassurance.
    ë Dependent people want instructions and need to be led.
    ë They need to know where to get help, but often are so afraid of
      being rejected for appearing stupid that they don’t ask when they
      get into trouble.
                              DEPENDENT PEOPLE (2)
Ü   Negative & Positive Aspects
    ë They tend to become helpless, let bad situations get worse, and
      need to be rescued.
    ë Dependent people under the right circumstances are the most
      reliable content members of any work force, the ones least likely to
      cause problems when their basic needs are met.
    ë This includes providing jobsecurity, retirement benefits, insurance
      protection, family health and educational support, frequent signs of
      emotional appreciation, and continued reassurance that they are
      doing a good job and won’t be replaced or fired.
    ë Their loyalty, when they are well provided for, is unconditional.
                                DEPENDENT PEOPLE (3)
Ü   What You Can Do For Them
    ë   A parking space with their name on it.
    ë   Locker or cubby they can call home.
    ë   Continually reassured
    ë   Need firmly set limits.
    ë   They fear that they may find themselves in violation of some rule
        and risk disapproval.
    ë   Rapid change tends to paralyze them and they can become
        obstructionistic.
    ë   Moving frightens them.
    ë   The unknown terrifies them.
    ë   Require supervision, especially in difficult situations.
    ë   Dependent people need as much preparation and explanation of
        any change as possible.
Ü   Write out your experience with a dependent employee
    coworker or boss (Homework).
                                             Controlling People
Ü   Characteristics
    ë Controlling people are difficult people to manage.
    ë They are not free and do not want you to be free.
    ë They want to control you, write the rules, define the terms, give the
      directions, illustrate the points, check the figures, find faults in the
      logic, show where you went wrong, and prove they were right.
    ë They meet frustration everywhere they go.
    ë Need to feel important.
    ë Want to be the key person.
    ë Down deep, they fear being abandoned just as dependent people
      do.
Ü   Positive & Negative Aspects       Controlling People (2)
    ë Controlling people often display a lawyer mentality.
    ë They bring up points for the sake of completeness, are rigid, ruled
      by precedent, and so are likely to be limited in their creativity.
    ë Excuses for everything.
    ë The fault is always outside themselves.
    ë Ineffectual in leading others for they managea by intimidation and
      manipulation not by understanding.
    ë Do not trust their own worth.
    ë Difficult to believe in others, and so they do not inspire
    ë They learn their lessons with great difficulty.
    ë Claim that the world is out to get them.
    ë Their underlying message is almost always an attempt to
      compensate for their self-doubt.
    ë It’s important to be sympathetic when correcting their mistakes.
    ë Arguing with them is a waste of time.
                                  Controlling People (3)
ë They have an answer for everything and will only rationalize their
  actions and resist your reasoning.
ë Just state there is a problem and that it occurred in their sphere of
  influence and you just want to help them fix it.
ë On the positive side, controlling people have an excellent sense of
  industry.
ë They love to anticipate disaster and prevent it.
ë Have difficulty in assigning priorities and worry excessively about a
  problem that is unlikely to occur, mearely because they feel
  powerful in addressing it; while they may ignore a severe conflict
  that already exists, because it makes them feel uncomfortable.
                                     Controlling People (4)
Ü   What You Can Do ForThem
    ë Controlling people need to be carefully managed, monitored, and
      reminded of their direction.
    ë Channel their energy and put it to your use.
    ë Controlling people do not make good leaders at the top corporate
      level; they do well leading small groups, where they get personal
      feedback that keeps them from becoming isolated.
    ë Because there is something ridiculous about being so rigid, other
      people continually test and tease controlling people
    ë Although they to think of themselves as creative, they are more
      calculating than intuitive, more intellectual than instinctive.
                                 Controlling People (5)
ë When he gets demanding, ask him if he thinks he is being
  unreasonable.
ë Help him correct his thinking.
ë Tell him that the pressure he’s creating is making your job more
  difficult.
ë Be polite and matter-of-fact, but be direct.
ë Don’t challenge him.
ë Be a stronger, more stable person than he is.
ë Who but an isolated lonely, and unfeeling person would ever treat
  people like he does?
                         Woking for a Controlling Boss
Ü   Humor them, do it carefully.
Ü   Agree with them, but be sincere about it.
Ü   Remember, you are reassuring them, not lying.
Ü   Tell them what they want to know just infuriate them and if
    they are in control, you may find yourself being assigned a
    lot of tedious busy work for punishment.
Ü   That is their specialty: handing out small work that deals
    with details. They just cannot see the big picture
Ü   There’s really little point in staying, unless you learn not to
    care.
Ü   Write out your experience with a controlling employee,
    coworker or boss (Homework).
                                           Competitive People
Ü   Characteristics
    ë Living off the desperate energy of the survival instinct is exciting
      and may result in material success, but it also exacts a heavy
      physical and emotional toll.
    ë Competitive people make up the backbone of every sales force,
      sport team, and marketing division.
    ë Competitive people want to be better.
    ë Deep down all competitive people are insecure and need external
      reassurance.
                                        Competitive People (2)
Ü   Positive & Negative Aspects
    ë The drive to be best is both their strength and their weakness, for in
      trying to beat an unworthy opponent they may not set their sights
      high enough and may not achieve their full potential.
    ë When competing with someone far above their ability, they may
      become deeply discouraged and mistakenly draw the wrong
      conclusion about their true worth.
    ë They like victory and can be so swayed by its thrill that they lose
      perspective and then often have difficulty finding meaning simply by
      being themselves.
    ë Living a competitive life is stressful and feels like you are at war.
    ë They have little peace of mind, for as much as they desire to win,
      they worry about losing.
    ë They may appear to be good sports on the surface, but they are
      deeply hurt by a loss
                                 Competitive People (3)
ë It is this relentless outward drive that makes the competitive person
  so valuable in business.
ë This is the person corporations screen for
ë Such competitiveness takes a costly emotional and physical toll.
ë Competitive people tend to suffer as they get older.
ë While they may seek to improve their playing skills, to become
  better salesmen or negotiators, they are mainly focused on winning
  in the moment.
ë They do not set personal long-term goals.
ë Their rewards are now.
                                   Competitive People (4)
Ü   What You Can Do For Them
    ë You must help them to manage their stress.
    ë Align their personal goals with those of the company without
      manipulating them.
    ë These people need to be listened to, supported, and esteemed,
      especially when performance is off.
    ë By and large, it’s easy to manage competitive people.
    ë Reward them generously in words and pay.
                                Competitive People (5)
ë They need recognition, love applause, feel insecure, fear failure,
  dread being embarrassed, want to be better than the other person,
  and need a goal.
ë For this person, Losing, like winning, is overvalued.
ë To manage competitive people in defeat, help them find some
  sense of personal worth.
ë Consistency and reliability need to be valued as much as being a
  hotshot.
ë Write out your experience with a competitive employee coworker or
  boss (Homework).
                                     Psychopaths-Con Men
Ü   This is a Special Case, But Every Organization Has Some
    of These
Ü   Characteristics
    ë You will always have some feeling of doubt in dealing with
      psychopathic people.
    ë Psychopaths are liars.
    ë They have no moral sense at all.
    ë They believe what is right is what is good for them.
    ë They do not care one bit about you.
                                Psychopaths-Con Men (2)
Ü   What They Do
    ë Expect them to be lying, you will seldom be wrong.
    ë They undermine authority, destroy team morale, and create an
      attitude of suspicion and blame.
    ë And yet they are often well liked by everyone because they prey on
      people’s needs for attention and understanding.
    ë They befriend the lonely, the downtrodden, the insecure, and the
      desperate.
    ë Psychopaths love using pressure.
                                Psychopaths-Con Men (3)
Ü   What You Can Do
    ë Issolate the person and make sure he has no chance to manipulate
      others. Often, everyone will see this person for what he is and will
      avoid him.
    ë If your management style lead to much discontent, you can be sure
      the psycopath will take advantage of the opportunity and
      manipulate others to increase problems.
    ë If you hire a psychopath, you are in trouble.
    ë Write out your experience with a psychopath employee coworker or
      boss (Homework).
    Chpt 4 Getting Others to Say What They Mean
Ü   The Truth
    ë Welcome the truth, don’t attack people for bearing bad news.
    ë Continually monitor your results and evaluate the reliability of those
      you depend upon.
    ë People lie not merely to conceal their ignorance and errors, but also
      to avoid the reaction of someone who explodes, overreacts, or
      blames.
    ë The more you feel you are being lied to, the greater the probability
      that it is true.
    ë Take them seriously.
    ë Share your concerns openly.
    ë Say, “This doesn’t feel accurate.”
    ë “This doesn’t sound right.”
                How to Hold a Meaningful Discussion
Ü   MAKE AN AGENDA
    ë You need to have some plan in mind when you deal with others, to
      maximize your efficiency.
       ñ People who succeed make plans.
       ñ Give others time to prepare for a meeting. This Lowers their anxiety
         and increases their effectiveness.
    ë Reassurances should be generous, appropriate, and effective.
       ñ   Instructions should be clear.
       ñ   Directness is important
       ñ   Ask for the other person’s opinion.
       ñ   Correct any mistakes you make as soon as you make them.
    ë If you don’t understand something, ask.
       ñ Do not be attached to any belief.
Ü   Monopolizing The Conversation
    ë Lead him to discuss his own shortcomings.
                      How to Hold a Meaningful Discussion (2)
Ü   When Others Act Inappropriately
    ë The other person’s inappropriateness is no excuse for you to get out of
      control.
        ñ Responding emotionally in a business situation is always wrong and gives
          others an advantage.
              ò Resist angry provocation.
        ñ   When others reveal their anger, acknowledge it calmly.
        ñ   Ask them how they feel damaged.
        ñ   Don’t be intimidated.
        ñ   Admit what responsibility you must, but do so in a business like manner.
              ò Don’t defend yourself.
        ñ Analyze the attack.
              ò   Ask them why they are getting so emotional.
              ò   Ask them what they want.
              ò   Make it their problem.
              ò   Rise above it.
        ñ Do not react emotionally to an emotional outburst.
              ò Take control by assuming a positive resolution to the situation and by asking for
                constructive suggestions.
                                          Encouraging Ideas
Ü   Openness in communication is key to allowing the free flow
    of communication as well as encouraging creativity,
    involvement and respect.
Ü   It’s easy to cut down any idea or to be the critic
    ë Building an open atmosphere takes skill and character
    ë If you want other people to share their new ideas and be open, you
      must be generous and encouraging
    ë Approach all new ideas as possibilities in need of further
      development
                                          Helping Others Focus
Ü   Your comments should always imply a forward direction, a
    profitable solution.
    ë Be pleasant.
    ë Do not respond to silence by being hurt or angry even though the
      silent treatment makes one uncomfortable.
    ë Showing your willingness to hear criticism enhances your stature.
        ñ Show your appreciation for being corrected.
        ñ Conceding error is always a sign of strength.
    ë Don’t insist on answering every question or solving every problem.
      Sometimes you lose just by becoming involved in a fight.
    ë Getting others to repeat a point that is obviously false or mistaken
      can be abused if you use it to ridicule others.
        ñ Some victories are empty.
        ñ Sometimes you win best by helping the other person achieve victory.
             Chpt. 5 Using the Telephone Effectively
Ü   The telephone can be your salvation or your undoing.
Ü   In a single call you can create a negative impression,
    undoing years of good will.
    ë Because visual clues such as facial expressions are missing while
      the potential for intimacy is increased.
    ë When you hang up, the other person is left with the impact of your
      call.
Ü   Take the time to be focused.
Ü   Know when you want to hang up, before you call.
Ü   Ask if this is a good time to call.
Ü   Is there a better time?
            Evaluating Your Telephone Effectiveness
Ü   For the next week, including weekend, after each call:
    ë   Was the call necessary?
    ë   Why did you make or receive it?
    ë   Was the call too long?
    ë   How long did it take to get to the actual business of the call? Why?
    ë   Did you accomplish what you wanted? Why or why not?
    ë   How could you have made the call more effective?
Ü   Talking excessively in business is almost uniformly a bad
    trait.
    ë The more said in the least amount of time the better.
    ë Calling back is a waste of time and often you miss opportunities.
Ü   Signs                                              Telephone Signs
    ë A cough indicates discomfort.
        ñ It may be a fear of expressing disagreement or anger.
    ë Notice when others forget or lose their place.
        ñ It often indicates that there is something they don’t want to discuss.
    ë Being silent allows the other person room to expound without the
      benefit of visual feedback, but don’t over do it.
        ñ The longest silence that can be tolerated without explanation is about ten
          seconds.
    ë Being placed on hold is a sign of disrespect or trying to get rid of you.
        ñ If someone puts you on hold for a long time, hang up and call back
          immediately saying you were cut off, and make other arrangements for
          the call.
        ñ Saying that the person you are looking for is not in and you are not given
          a follow-up contact number is the same sign.
    ë The best time to call is in the morning.
        ñ While spirits and energy are still high and before problems have come up
          that require attention (most managers spend their time putting out fires,
          so try to catch them before the fires start).
                                     Be Nice to the Little People
Ü   Treating secretaries as equals often gets you further than
    treating their bosses as equals.
    ë Spending a few pleasant moments with someone’s secretary is
      always in your interest.
Ü   It’s not a good idea to get in to an argument with a
    secretary.
    ë She’s only empowered to discourage nuisances.
Ü   Ask again if this is a good time for him to talk.
Ü   On the other hand, do not blame a manager for a really
    bad secretary.
    ë Remember, really good secretaries are hard to find.
    ë Do not mention the secretary problem directly to the manager.
        ñ He will already be aware of the problem and can decide on his own
          what action, if any, to take.
    ë Simply mention that it has been hard to get through or to find him.
                                     Your Phone Receptionist
Ü   The people who answer the phone should convey the
    following messages:
    ë   I’m glad you called.
    ë   I have the time to understand what you want.
    ë   We can solve it.
    ë   I’m sure we can find a way to work together.
    ë   You matter.
    ë   Your business is important.
    ë   This is a good place to work.
    ë   We like people.
    ë   Negative people do not belong on the telephone.
    ë   Putting people on hold is an insult.
    ë   It’s made worse by not telling them first.
    ë   Never put someone on hold for longer than one minute.
            The Telephone Call as Business Meeting
Ü   Avoid calling people casually unless you have a personal
    relationship.
    ë The unstructured telephone call is unwise.
    ë It dilutes your effectiveness and positions you as needy or
      annoying.
    ë If the other person brings up a point that you don’t want to discuss,
      postpone the discussion.
Ü   Difficult Calls (like sales calls)
    ë People avoid you because they don’t want to face the problem that
      comes with you.
    ë Sincerity is the best gimmick for being accepted.
    ë If you want to avoid harassing calls, take the call and be direct.
Ü   Weed out everything in your life that keeps you from
    thriving.
                            When You Shouldn’t Call
Ü   Never express anger over the phone.
Ü   Remember, the best calls state and answer a single
    question clearly,
                                    Answering Machines
Ü   Keep it simple.
Ü   Don’t get cute.
Ü   Don’t leave a message if this is your first contact.
Ü   Never hang up in anger.
Ü   Indicate that you are glad to have spoken together.
Ü   Close with a statement like “We’ll get right to work on that,”
    or “you’ll hear from me in a week.”
                              Chpt. 6 Written Communication
Ü   Your correspondence must be one hundred percent
    effective. Things to Avoid:
    ë   Don’t boast, brag, or search for compliments.
    ë   Don’t show off.
    ë   Don’t use a big vocabulary.
    ë   Don’t make blind assumptions about what the reader wants or needs.
    ë   Don’t use nicknames
    ë   Don’t be insincere.
    ë   Don’t complain.
    ë   Don’t undermine.
    ë   Never threaten. Just indicate that you want to avoid unnecessary
        problems and resolve differences agreeably.
    ë   Never let off steam in a business letter.
    ë   Never put someone down.
    ë   Never criticize another person’s company, employees, tactics,
        judgment, policy, or attitude.
    ë   Never send a letter without a clear purpose.
                               Written Communication (2)
Ü   Things to Do:
    ë Before you write a letter, remind yourself of your long-term goals.
    ë A business letter longer than one page is unnecessary.
    ë A long, involved letter indicates that you don’t think well enough of
      your ideas to make them precise and understandable.
    ë A long letter means you do not value your reader’s time.
    ë If you can’t see a profitable outcome in doing business with the
      other person, you shouldn’t write the letter.
    ë The correct business letter is simple and direct.
    ë Can you summarize the letter in a single sentence?
    ë The one-sentence letter is intensely personal and reveals even
      more about you than a longer letter. But you risk having it backfire.
                                            The Framable Letter
Ü   Giving positive feedback reassures people that someone
    notices them and values their contribution.
    ë If you decide to write such a letter, avoid using the pronoun “I.”
    ë Receiving it should make the other person proud, happy, and enjoy
      sharing it with someone else.
    ë Send a memo when you feel good about someone’s work offers
      positive reinforcement.
    ë If you have an important criticism to make, a memo is not the right
      place to express yourself.
        ñ Negative memos are almost always the product of a controlling, self-
          important, rigid person who is out of touch with the people who work
          with or for him and who is uncomfortable dealing with people directly.
        ñ People like to use memos as a form of punishment. (not a good idea)
        ñ They see the memo as instruction, but really use it to force their way
          on others.
            Chpt. 7 How to Run a Business Meeting
Ü   Everyone in business spends time in business meetings.
    When people schedule time to share ideas, discuss
    problems, progress, or planning, they are having a formal
    business meeting even though only two people may be
    involved and it lasts only a few minutes.
Ü   A good business meeting clarifies directions, creates plans,
    sets priorities, delegates responsibility, allows for
    participation, and enhances a sense of cohesion and unity.
Ü   Most business meeting are a waste of time; they are poorly
    planned and administered, and provide an arena more for
    the display of egos, competitiveness, and power than for
    work.
                                             “I Hate Meetings”
Ü   Most of what is discussed is catch-up material, minutes of
    the last meeting, filler, and so on.
    ë People begin to resent such meetings
Ü   People who flourish in the meeting environment are not
    particularly motivated workers. They see meeting as a
    social event.
    ë The real workers make fun of them.
    ë Having meetings just for the sake of having meetings is operating
      at the lowest level of efficiency.
Ü   Meetings need the thrust of reality to keep them focused.
    ë The best are problem-oriented.
    ë The worst are pointless discussions.
                               Getting “Up” for the Meeting
Ü   All business meetings require preparation.
    ë The object of the meeting is to solve a problem and move forward
      so you should have a clear idea of what you want to accomplish.
        ñ Have some notion of who will object and to what.
    ë To be an effective group leader, don’t permit your comfort or
      effectiveness to depend on what anyone else in the group says or
      feels.
        ñ Be above this.
    ë You need to get up for the meeting.
        ñ   Consider what you want to accomplish.
        ñ   How necessary is the meeting?
        ñ   Picture the meting in your mind.
        ñ   Imagine the scenes you would like to take place.
        ñ   Write out the purpose of the meeting in a single sentence.
                           Every Meeting Needs a Leader
Ü   You can’t lead if you depend on other people’s support for
    your leadership.
    ë On the other hand, don’t be fixed in your belief about what you want
      to take place.
Ü   If you are that sure of what you want, why not save
    everyone the time and effort and simply issue a statement?
    ë People resent a leader insincerely seeming to be democratic more
      than they do a leader who asserts himself dictatorially.
Ü   Consider where you want the meeting to take place.
    ë If you are a superior, inviting one other person to your office
      reasserts your power and authority.
    ë Tell others before hand what you plan to discuss.
      Some practical Advice for the Group Leader
Ü   The function of the leader is to direct the group so that at
    the end of the meeting everyone feels it was important to
    have been there, that he had an effect on the outcome.
Ü   The leader is not the center of the group, but its catalyst.
Ü   Be as subtle and as light-handed as possible.
Ü   Don’t go into a meeting cold; know what the situation is.
Ü   Ask, “Is this the right question? Do any of you have an
    opinion of how this meeting should proceed?”
Ü   This invites others to relate to their agendas.
Ü   When a jealous person intrudes, ask him or her to make a
    positive suggestion.
                          Questions to Focus the Group
ë If a solution develops in a meeting you are leading, your leadership
  showed the way and you should be proud.
ë Questions to be effective
    ñ   I don’t understand.
    ñ   How does this work?
    ñ   These are especially useful comments.
    ñ   Ask others to become clearer.
    ñ   Let them help you understand.
    ñ   Where are we now?
    ñ   Is this the right direction?
    ñ   What are we missing?
    ñ   How could this go wrong?
ë When others play it safe and are unwilling to comment, pressuring
  them to contribute is self-defeating.
    ñ If you anticipated the meeting correctly, you’ll have a good idea of who
      will contribute and why.
                                                             Good Ideas
Ü   Good ideas need to be encouraged, but remember they
    are a product of the group, not the individual.
    ë Praise the idea and direction rather than its author.
    ë Challenge them with a statement like “Yes, it’s a great plan, but will
      it really work? What could go wrong?”
        ñ This is not deflating their egos but using their good feeling as leverage
          to investigate the downside risk.
Ü   As a leader you should always be a little removed from the
    emotions of the group.
Ü   Don’t make a meeting a play
    ë Having someone make the comment you want by prior
      arrangement is always a bad maneuver.
    ë If your idea is good, it will evolve through your careful listening and
      support.
                                            Chpt. 8 How to Interview
ë The purpose of interviewing is to discover people’s strengths and
  weaknesses, so you can help them make the most of themselves and
  keep them out of trouble.
ë Impressions
   ñ Effective interviewers trust their instincts.
   ñ Before, be sure you know what you are looking for
   ñ Pay attention to your first impression.
ë Dress & Presentation
   ñ Ask what he had in mind when he dressed that morning.
   ñ Overly rigid standards don’t protect against hiring losers
       ò If you are hiring someone to represent your company or if you are looking for a computer
         programmer.
       ò A lot of costly mistakes have been made by losing sight of the firm’s priorities.
ë Opening & Speaking
   ñ The best way to open an interview is to ask a question that reflects your
     interest in the points on your list.
   ñ Allow the other person to talk.
   ñ Be patient.
   ñ Try to get an idea of the other person’s thinking.
    ë Mistakes he/she makes                   Giving an Interview (2)
        ñ The ability to recognize mistakes and correct them is more valuable than
          giving a perfect but shallow impression.
    ë Look for something about the other person you like and mention it.
    ë Make positive comments like “Yes, Good, Exactly, Of course, I see, and
      I agree.”
        ñ Smile.
        ñ Nod agreement.
        ñ Be appreciative, sincere, and listen.
    ë Creating stress is generally counterproductive and should avoided.
    ë Confront them when you suspect that other people are not being honest
      or frank about their faults,
Ü   Evaluating Your Interview Experience
    ë Everyone knows of people who have impeccable work qualifications
      and dreadful interpersonal skills.
        ñ Don’t be swayed by an impressive background. See that background as the
          ticket for admission to the interview and give the interview independent
          status.
        ñ People who struggle to impress you reveal their insecurity about the very
          things they brag about, and show their lack of insight into themselves.
                                   Giving an Interview (3)
ë Things to Look for
   ñ The object of a good interview is to assess a person’s capacity for
     growth.
   ñ A person with high potential likes to work, works hard, and is eager to
     get started.
   ñ He is open, especially about failures, and yet has a sense of pride
     achievement, and delight in his successes.
   ñ He doesn’t give up.
   ñ He is honest, ask questions freely, and admits what he doesn’t know.
   ñ He admits unflattering criticism without excused and accepts blame
     without long explanations.
   ñ He makes helpful contributions without asking for credit and willingly
     shared the glory.
   ñ He is interested in others and has a sense of humor about himself.
   ñ In order for the interview to have lasting value, it must be a valid
     reflection of the company behind it.
                        Chpt 9 How to Take an Interview
Ü   The belief that if the situation is right for you, it is going to
    turn out right, and if it’s not, it won’t.
    ë If you view the interview as trying to convince someone to employ
      you, all you are looking for is a job.
    ë The most important part of your resume is the growth it reveals.
    ë Loyalty is not nearly as important as the ability to adapt and solve
      problems.
Ü   Be selfish in assessing the position.
    ë Where will this job take you ten years from now?
        ñ Is this an opportunity to progress on your own merits or a position on a
          slow-moving conveyor belt where advancement comes only by death
          and acts of God?
    ë You have to be willing to risk everything in the interview.
                                                                   An Interview (2)
Ü   The correct attitude to project in an interview is that you are
    concerned with doing a good job, are eager to listen and learn,
    and are willing to do whatever needs to be done to get the job
    done.
    ë Demonstrating your flexibility without appearing soft is the delicate
      balance you are trying to achieve,
        ñ If you make an important mistake in the interview, don’t ignore it even if the
          interviewer hasn’t noticed.
            ò Saying “That’s not accurate, I meant to say…”is usually all that’s needed.
        ñ If the interviewer asks why you erred, just say you were concerned about
          making the best impression.
Ü   Some interviewers are unfair.                         An Interview (3)
    ë   They are usually amateurs, directed by their own insecurity.
    ë   If you confront them, you risk retaliation.
    ë   They cannot take criticism, especially about their abuse of power.
    ë   When you realize that you are dealing with an unfair person, assume
        that the situation is probably lost and don’t allow yourself to be
        dragged into his negativity.
         ñ Such an interview is a fair warning of the way you would be treated if you
           were unlucky enough to be hired.
         ñ Should the interview go badly, don’t ignore it.
Ü   Prepare some questions to ask yourself that show your
    interest in the company and the position, and reveal your
    expertise.
    ë Don’t be afraid to ask about opportunities for advancement.
         ñ Spent years and expended energy cannot be reclaimed, so take
           advantage of this moment..
Ü   Summarize your impressions
    ë Thank him for him time
                        Chpt. 10 Increasing Productivity
Ü   The best and most lasting way to make people more
    productive is to identify with their needs and employ them
    for their strongest talents.
    ë People adapt to all stimuli so unless people are encouraged to
      motivate themselves all attempts at increasing productivity are
      short-lived.
Ü   Attempting to motivate workers by external means requires
    ever-increasing external rewards to make the same impact.
    ë The sudden threat of losing one’s job has a powerful and often
      lasting effect in increasing productivity.
        ñ On the other hand, the chronic threat of losing one’s job undermines
          self-esteem and always lowers productivity.
           Understanding Your Own Productivity
ë The key to increasing productivity is to tap into the individual’s inner
  drives and identify with them.
    ñ What do you do best?
    ñ How often do you do that?
    ñ What would you rather be doing than your present job?
    ñ Is there anyone with whom you would like to exchange jobs?
    ñ What appeals to you about the other job?
    ñ Can any part of this be include in your present work?
    ñ What stands in the way of you doing this?
    ñ What part of your job do you do least well?
    ñ How much of the time do you do this?
    ñ When are you most productive?
    ñ How often does this positive situation occur?
    ñ Are you able to “run” with your most productive times or does your
      schedule or other duties cut them short?
    ñ When are you happiest in your work?
    ñ Are these times the same as your productive times?
                   Personal Feelings & Productivity
Ü   People want to be effective, to make a difference, to how
    that they contributed something of value.
Ü   Praise is a powerful motivator only if it is sincere.
Ü   This applies to co-workers, juniors, and superiors.
Ü   Everyone needs praise and encouragement.
Ü   Ultimately, it is each worker’s personal sense of
    responsibility that keeps productivity high.
Ü   The most productive companies give people the chance to
    find themselves.
Ü   Negative attitude spreads through a work force like a bad
    rumor.
Ü   Feeling cheated, ignored, and unrecognized destroys
    morale and is difficult to repair.
                                    Chpt. 11 Taking Criticism
Ü   The way you react to criticism limits you more than
    perhaps any other reaction in business.
    ë The most difficult job for many managers is to criticize an
      employee’s behavior or job performance.
        ñ Frequently, they don’t have all the facts and have only second-hand
          reports, but know something isn’t the way they expect it to be.
Ü   Almost all people offer some resistance to admitting they
    were wrong.
    ë Resisting criticism causes stress and wastes energy and time.
        ñ People who take criticism poorly, even though they may otherwise be
          doing a good job, are often the most difficult people for management to
          deal with.
        ñ You are more trouble than you are worth if you offer resistance to valid
          criticism.
Ü   The secret of taking criticism is to turn the How                to Take it
    situation into one where you are asking for advice.
    ë Your capacity for growth.
        ñ If you try to avoid making mistakes at all costs, you are making a bigger
          mistake than the one you are trying to avoid.
        ñ The people who are going to amount to anything make mistakes and they
          make them all the time.
            ò They just admit their errors and learn from them.

Ü   Negative people are the worst critics.
    ë They feel that because they’ve caught you red-handed they now have
      an excuse to dump everything onto you.
    ë Negative people try to provoke others to fight when they have a
      defensible case against them.
    ë Don’t get trapped.
    ë Offer no resistance.
    ë Keep your distance.
    ë Be nimble.
    ë Observe and stay detached.
    ë Don’t take it personally or retaliate by criticizing their outburst.
                                                      Negative People
    ë Negative people have a low self-esteem.
    ë All of this is a momentous waste of time.
    ë Let their comments pass through you.
    ë Always remember in dealing with unreasonable or negative people that
      their hostility is really their problem even if you are their target.
    ë Don’t fight with them (you can never win).
Ü   Most of the people who will criticize you are reasonable
    ë Consider the way you react to criticism.
    ë Don’t automatically challenge
    ë Don’t become elusive.
    ë Avoid being defensive.
    ë A successful person listens to all comments without getting in their way
      or trying to influence or criticize the critic.
    ë Be easy to deal with.
    ë Admit you were wrong.
Ü   When you resist your manager doesn’t know Don’t                 Resist
    if you are being difficult, stupid, incompetent,
    insecure, uncooperative, sullen, or are just a loser.
    ë If you see yourself as someone on the way up, you don’t want any of
      these negative attributes associated with your name.
    ë Understand the complaint; Ask questions to be sure you understand.
    ë Admit what you don’t know.
Ü   The leader differs from the follower in that he is aware of his
    limitations and overcomes them.
    ë Ask for instructions and advice.
        ñ Be teachable.
    ë Validate the efforts of the people who are trying to show you a better
      way.
    ë Use the newly opened lines of communication to broaden the working
      relationship.
    ë Turn criticism into an opportunity.
    ë Ask for advice.
    ë Be open, accepting, and expect to grow.
              Chpt. 12 Giving Constructive Criticism
Ü   Supervisors should try to keep an objective distance, so
    that they can be effective and yet stay in contact.
    ë When a supervisor withholds criticism, he or she experiences
      discomfort and irritation.
        ñ These feelings build, raising the risk of overreaction when the
          opportunity to criticize finally presents itself.
    ë Criticism and praise have to go hand in hand.
        ñ The first rule is to make your criticism an extension of some praise.
    ë Although people know they have room for improvement, they
      publicly deny their weaknesses, while competence and fear
      discovery.
        ñ Your goal in offering correction is to create a more open work
          atmosphere in which criticism and praise flow along as part of the
          work, where people do not dread being singled out
                                             Criticism Objectives
Ü   Have clear objectives.
    ë Before you criticize someone, know what you want to accomplish.
    ë Pick the time and place.
        ñ People get grumpy when they are hungry and their stress tolerance
          drops (Morning may be best).
        ñ Pick a place that is private, convenient, and friendly.
Ü   Be positive.
    ë Talk about the problem with distance and encourage the other
      person to comment on it from the same perspective.
    ë Accept some of the blame for the problem.
        ñ This creates a feeling of mutual concern.
        ñ Perhaps you were misunderstood.
        ñ Perhaps you did not express yourself clearly or failed to make sure that
          the other person really understood you.
                                               Working Together
Ü   Once you both agree that something is wrong , allow the
    other person to share his perception of the problem.
    ë Use short questions to direct him, such as “How did that happen?”
    ë “What was your reasoning?” or “What did you think was
      happening?”
Ü   your job in offering correction is to help people look at
    themselves and take responsibility for their own
    improvement.
    ë Make sure that you both are talking about the same subject.
    ë Restate your opinion and be done with it.
        ñ Fear is a poor motivator.
    ë When you’re done, thank the other person for listening.
        ñ Reassure him of your continued support and belief in his worth.
        ñ Make future contact easier by scheduling regular follow-up meetings so
          that you can monitor progress

				
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