Walking on eggshells Four ways to let out your inner Bird Lover by nyut545e2


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                         For the birds                                                                                                                                                I used to

   How to sing like a canary
                                                                                                                                                                                     live in Texas;
                                                                                                                                                                                   you know the place

                                                                                                                Fried Chicken
                                                                                                                                                                                  where everything is
                                                                                                                                                                                big—big hats, big barbeques,
                                                       nature: Snow White, George of the Jungle,                                                                               and big backyards. My backyard
              By Alison Malan                          Sleeping Beauty and Dr. Doolittle. Ah, the                                                                              happened to be huge so my father filled it
                       Reporter                        jealously that stirs when the audience sees                            By Katie Fisher                                 with an assortment of creatures—bees, ducks,
                                                       the relationship these characters have with                                                                            and chickens. The bees
                                                       the birds that happily perch on their fingers.                                Reporter                                 were in a corner of our
        The communion with nature is said to
   balance the body, uniting all of life on earth.     A simple way to be sure the balance isn’t                                                                              yard, thought of in my mind
   So what better way to create a union than           passing over Viewmont is to converse with                                                                   as the place to avoid at any cost. The
   communion! The most “balanced” characters           the fine friends with flight. Practice these calls                                                   ducks laid their eggs all over the yard, never to
   of the screen have had a keen connection with       with pride.                                                                                       be found until they had gone rotten. The chickens
                                                                                                                                                 though, were the best.
                                                                                                                                                          As a kid, it was fun to chase after the chickens that
                                                                                                                                        got loose when the coop was left open. My brothers and I turned it
   • The Laughing Gull                                                                                                         into a sort of competition, Olympic chicken chasing, in which we strove
         hah-hah-hah, hooh-hooh, hah-hah-hah (Monkey like.)                                                              to be the first to catch a chicken. After the first chicken was caught, we usually
                                                                                                                   lost interest and went inside to stuff our faces with food or to read, oblivious to the
   • The Brant                                                                                                  possible salmonella bacteria lingering on our fingers.
        A throaty cr-r-r-unk -Or- kurr-onk, krrr-onk (As high as your voice can go.)                                     One hot summer afternoon, the coop caught on fire due to a neglected
   (Squeaking makes it more realistic.)                                                                   heating lamp. My whole family was away at some event that I was privileged to opt
                                                                                                        out of because I was “sick.” I was lounging around in the kitchen when some lady started
   • Long tailed Duck                                                                                 pounding on the back door. I was a little tentative, but I opened the door to have her exclaim
        ow-owdle-ow -Or- owl-omelet (Suck in and sing out in high voice.)                        in my face, “Your chickens are on fire!” I ran outside to see that the coop was engulfed in
                                                                                            flames, black smoke billowing up from the incinerating hay. Two other ladies were there with a
   • Mourning Dove                                                                   hose putting it out.
   Coo-o-o, coo-o-o-coo-o-o-coo-o-o (A slower version of the sound                   Miraculously, the gate had been carelessly left open, which allowed all of the chickens to be well
   your car makes when the door is left open with the keys in                    away from the fire when it started. It was good that those women saw the fire; there could have been
   the ignition.)                                                        a lot more damage to the coop or even the chickens. It turns out the ladies were at a church next door
                                                               baking something for a Relief Society activity.
   • Yellow-billed Cuckoo                                           When my family and I moved to Utah, we didn’t bring the chickens. It was for the best though, because
        Ow-ow-ow-ow-ow-ow                            everything was so different, except the Relief Society. They were still around, quite involved in every aspect of
   (Quickly – like you just smashed your           our lives. I missed having chickens because there is something about a chicken’s unbelievably stupid
   thumbnail with a hammer.)                                        demeanor that                                                                    is
   • White-breasted Nuthatch                                                                                                                       Just this
        AH HA HAHA HA HA HA HA                                                                                                                      past year,
   (Like a forced high laugh after a lame joke.)                                                                                                      my
                                                                                                                                                       dad got
                                                                                                                                                        some new
                                                                                                                                                             chickens. I

A “crappy” conversation
                                                                                                                                                                must say it’s
                                                                                                                                                                 nice to have
                                                                                                                                                                      them back.

   By Alison Malan
            Reporter                                       went to put an end to the exhausting gossip         Battle of the wits:
                                                                                                               birds vs. Vikings
                                                           something else beat me to it: a lime green,
                                                            white and yellow splat of bird crap that
      My ears were burning                                  landed on her leg. I couldn’t stop laughing
and I couldn’t help but                                      as I pointed out to her the karma of what
promise myself over and                                     happens when you talk crap about people,                        By Hannah Wing
over again I wasn’t like this in junior                            you get crapped on. The rest of the
high. The summer heat had nothing to                                     summer our conversations                                   Reporter
do with the waves of annoyance that                                          were filled with less of
were coming over my body. It was                                                 other people’s business,             It’s a little known fact that pigeons grieve
just an ordinary day in June, I sat by                                              thankfully.                when their mates die or leave them. People,
the side of the pool at Oakridge, being                                                                        teenagers especially, do the same thing. Any 16
filled with information about the cutest                                                                       year old girl, recently dumped by her boyfriend
boys that were texting the 14 year old girl                                                                    of five months, one week and three days, proves
I nannied, the snotty girls that thought they                                                                  this theory. She cries for weeks, writes nasty
were better than the world, and whatever other                                                                 notes to said dumper, and composes poems in the
gossip that could be put into words. The minutes                                                               dark while listening to Dashboard Confessional.
turned into hours, years maybe, and even my                                                                          This is not the only way Viewmont students
unrelated interjections couldn’t deter the stories                                                             are like birds. They’re proud as peacocks when
that she was telling. As each story ended and I                                                                it comes to rivalry football games, flaunting
inhaled with hope that there’d be no more but it                                                               their maroon and gold plumage. They are eagle
was always in vain as the beginning of another                                                                 eyed when looking for a date to the Christmas
quickly started. I was losing my mind as she                                                                   dance, spying their prey, and watching their
started ragging on one of her girlfriends and as I                                                             every move, waiting for the precise moment to
                                                                                                               dive and go for the kill. And when questioned

Walking on eggshells
                                                                                                               about their best friends, they sing like canaries.
                                                                                                                     While recently comforting a friend whose
                                                                                                               world had been destroyed by an uninterested
                                                                                                               girl, the phrase “a chicken running with its
                                                       a creature from coming into this world. Even            head cut off” came to mind. After discussing
          By Taylor Witcher                            worse, it was a bird: a soaring, singing icon           it further with him, and many other peers like
                     Reporter                          of hope and purity. I burst into tears, as my           him, it appeared that every teen thinks they are
                                                       sympathetic mother explained to the phone what          misunderstood in some way or another, and no
      I was six years old when I saw a robin’s         had just happened. Due to the extremity of my           one can be expected to understand.
nest for the first time. My mom showed it to me;       sobs, it got even worse. The soft blue egg slipped            We’ve all had those days at the park,
it was under our deck in Minnesota, perched            through my little fingers, and the shell broke in       enjoying a picnic, until a solitary seagull spots
right above the center beam. Naturally, I was          a hundred places, just as my heart had done. My         our lunch. Tossing one bread crumb to the
enthralled with the tiny basket containing pre-        cries raised an octave and my face turned to the        seagull is harmless, isn’t it? One innocent
life.                                                  sky, as my hands still held the shape of the tiny       seagull, walking around the picnic table,
      I remember once when my mom was talking          life. Through her efforts a laugh escaped my            magically becomes thirty birds of prey, attacking
on the phone on the deck, I climbed downstairs         mom’s mouth, and she set the phone down and             anything edible. French fries have this same
to take a closer look. Being a sweet, six-year-old     ran to my side.                                         magnetic effect on teens. If you give one fry
girl, I wanted to show my mother everything                  With the help of her forgiving words and          to a friend, those innocent-looking passers-by
I thought was beautiful, so I took one of the          the sped up healing of a child’s spirit, I got over     suddenly become a flock of french-fry grabbing,
eggs up to her. She               stopped what she     it. But to this day, I have never forgotten that        burger-mooching, shake-stealing animals. And,
was saying on the                            phone,    little blue robin’s egg, and I still have issues with   like a stray cat, if you give someone a french fry
looked at me,                                          touching eggs, even from the grocery store.             one day, you better expect them to be back, and
and a regretful                                                                                                hungry, every day for the rest of your high school
flash of horror                                                                                                career.
glanced past                                                                                                          If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard
her face. “Oh                                                                                                  a driver exclaim, “Stupid quail, get out of the
honey…                                                                                                         road,” I could afford that snooty private college
you’re not                                                                                                     I’ve been dreaming about. And if I had another
supposed to                                                                                                    nickel for every time I’ve heard a driver exclaim
touch bird                                                                                                     in the Viewmont parking lot, “Stupid kid, get
eggs, or the                                                                                                   out of the road,” I could afford to feed all those
mother will                                                                                                    mooching teenagers at lunch.
smell you                                                                                                      I have always heard primates are the closest
and won’t                                                                                                      species to humans, but with more observation,
take care of                                                                                                   the similarities between birds and humans
them anymore.”                                                                                                 seem far more abundant. Don’t agree? Try bird
      I stared at her as my heart shattered. I had                                                             watching, or people watching, this weekend.
doomed a life. I, Taylor Witcher, had stopped                                                                  You’ll be surprised at how close we are to those
                                                                                                               creatures of flight.

                    Four ways to let out your inner Bird Lover
        By Hannah Wing                                 Tracy Aviary                            Layton Wild Bird                           Utah Museum of                              Farmington Bay
                  Reporter                                                                          Center                                Natural History
                                              From being able to feed and play                                                                                                 Looking for some free fun? At
                                              with Amazon birds such as Brazilian         Every Saturday the group leaves           Come to the Museum’s Dumke                 Farmington bay not only can you
        Do you find your eyes                 parrots, to meeting and talking to          the bird center at 10:00 a.m. to          Gallery to see Rosalie Winard’s Wild       enjoy bird watching, you can ride
   ineluctably drawn to the toucan as         the bird trainers, or making fun bird       go on a fascinating bird walk led         Birds of the American Wetlands,            your bike, walk your dog, and have a
   you eat your Fruit-Loops? Is the           crafts, finding ways for you interact       by a professional, Bill Fenimore.         fifty two large-print pictures of birds    picnic all in the same day.
   Tiki Room your favorite ride at            with birds is the Tracy Aviary’s forte.     An aditional class is also offered        whose habitats are being destroyed
   Disneyland? Is your favorite oldies                                                    to strengthen your eye for bird           worldwide. This exhibit will bring         Hours: 8:00 a.m. to 5:00 p.m. seven
   band The Byrds? If so, you will be         Hours: 9:00 am - 4:30 pm                    identification, finding habitats, and     the endangered birds to life.                      days a week
   delighted to know that northern Utah       Season: Every day except Christmas          general bird watching know-how.                                                      Season: All year (Dogs allowed
   provides several ways for you to           Location: 589 East 1300 South                                                         Hours: Mon-Sat: 9:30 am-5:30 pm                     September 25 - February 28)
   learn more about birds and see them                   Salt Lake City                                                             Season: Nov. 1 - Feb. 22.                  Location: 1390 East President’s
   in a variety of habitats. Some of your     Price: Admission: $5 adults $4              Hours: Mon-Sat: 10 a.m. to 7 p.m.         Location: 1325 West Glover Lane                       Circle Salt Lake City
   options are:                                       students (discounts for groups      Season: All year                                    Farmington                       Price: Free
                                              10+, $1 off per ticket). Additional         Location: 1860 North 1000 West            Price: Ages 13+ $6
                                              attractions vary in price.                             Layton                                The first Monday of every
                                                                                          Price: Free                               month is free.

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