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THE LONELY NURSE Powered By Docstoc
					Ronald J. Lukas                            about 14800 words

                 THE LONELY NURSE
                        A Novelette
                       by R.J. Lane

     Present day. Southern California -- Two days before the

Christmas of last year, I had been experiencing mild and

occasional chest pains. And I had hotfooted to my MD’s

office in Santa Ana.

     My Doctor Alex Young, had figured that I had been

toting a couple of clogged blood vessels. And he had

arranged for me to take a next day cardiac catheterization

test, at Wolcott Memorial Hospital in Fountain Valley.

     My heart test had been carried out on the day before

Christmas, at eight o’clock in the morning. The test had

spotted five blocked arteries. And I had told that I had

needed to have bypass surgery, pronto!
                                 LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 2

     Financially. There had been no fuckin’ way in the

world, that I could’ve paid for my surgery? I had about

fifty bucks in the bank, ten in my pocket, no health

insurance, and a fake Rolex wristwatch.

     The hospital’s young social worker, that my MD had

suggested that I talk to about financial aid, had looked a

little green behind the ears. But it hadn’t fazed me.

Because Cheap young labor had become a sign of times.

     On the way to the cute little Italian’s office, we had

exchanged first names. She had told me that her name had

been Rita. I had told her that my name had been Jackson.

     When the babe had asked what I did for a living? I had

told her that I was artist, retired, and living on a monthly

Social Security check. I had also told her that I had a

minimum wage job at Walmart, acting like happy doorman.

     Every Goddamn struggling male in the world, no matter

how old he is, hates to admit that he’s a financial turd.

     The little Italian cutie had told me not to worry. She

then had handed me a white plastic hospital wristband, and

had asked me if the info on it was correct?

     It had my name Jackson Kosnecki, and my June nineteen

forty-three birth date, printed in black letters. I had told

the cute ravioli, that all the info had been corretto.
                                 LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 3

     Rita had claimed that my age had qualified me for

Medicare. She then had hit me with the good part. She had

told me that Medicare would pay for my bypass operation.

     That had been sweet music to my ears. I was happy to

hear that Uncle Sam had finally done something right for me,

and the American people.

     I was glad that I had voted, way back when in Chicago,

for Lyndon Baines Johnson and the Democratic Party. Because

my pick had the guts to buck the deliberate obstructionism

of the Republican party, and establish Medicare.

     My heart report really hadn’t been a stunner. Because I

had been currently being treated for an angina problem for

almost a year.

     I, like all the truth-seeking artery diseased people,

had wondered what the hell had caused my blocked arteries?

     I’m a second-generation Polish-German American, and a

Roman Catholic. I had been raised to believe that there’s a

reason, good or bad, for everything. Therefore, I had blamed

fast foods, Polish sausage, and German bockwurst, as the

baddies that had caused my health problem.

     My nine hour bypass operation went without a hitch. My

only disappointment at the time had been, that I had never

experienced one of those trendy out-of-body happenings.
                                    LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 4

     Unlike my predecessors, the former US President Bill

Clinton, and a lot of other celebrities and blowhards. I had

never hovered in the operating room, and had watched someone

fuck with my body.

     Actually. I had never really wanted to witness my chest

being hacked open, and divide into two parts.

     I hadn’t been interested in seeing a half-masked

surgeon holding my bloody beating heart his hands. Those old

hat scenes of titillating horror, had belonged in Hollywood

flicks, not in my mental insecurities.

     When the good-looking Asian nurse dressed in surgery

greens, had given me her version of a Mickey Finn, I was out

cold. I didn’t see, hear, or think a Goddamn thing, until

the Asian broad had revived me.

     In my opinion. Bypass operations are big time physical

pain, and create a helluva lot of physical struggle. They

also had necessitated a six week diet of painkillers. And

boy oh boy. If you don’t have those little fuckers, you’re

up shit’s creek without a paddle.

     After a solid six weeks of perpetual agony, physical

restraint, a total disinterest in sex, and painkillers,

things had started looking up. And I knew that I was the

road to full recovery. My doctor had even said so.
                                 LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 5

     My bypass operation had been only half of my hospital

adventure. There also had been a weird and creepy second

half, during my six day stay at the hospital.

     Okay. Having had said that! I’m first going to start

out with some sketchy personal background crap. Then I’ll

proceed to the juicy bizarre events, that had taken place

during my Christmas week stay at the Wolcott Memorial


     Immediately after I had received the results of my

coronary test. The hospital had scheduled my bypass

operation to take place at six in the morning, on the first

day after Christmas. I had promised to be at the hospital by

five in the morning.

     At the time of my bypass operation. I had been dragging

ass, and physically feeling like shit. I also at the time,

had been financially strapped, and going nowhere in life.

     There had been a time when that wasn’t so, and I had

nailed the American dream. I had been married, and had four

children. I had owned a beautiful house on an acre of land,

and two brand new GM automobiles. I even owned a fuckin’

barbecue grill. Then it had all slowly melted away. It had

taken twenty-five years for the last Goddamn drop to go down

the drain.
                                 LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 6

     My monthly Social Security check, and my obscene

Walmart take-home pay. Had only allowed me to rent a master

bedroom to live in.

     I had been told over and over again by apartment

managers. That I financially hadn’t qualified to rent an


     The bedroom that I had rented was in a ranch style

house. The house was located in a residential Asian area in

the City of Westminster.

     The house had been partially owned by an attractive,

twenty-four year old Vietnamese babe named Tuyen Tran. Tu

was a short, moon face movie actress, canary, and a

traditional Vietnamese folk dancer.

     Tu, and her good-looking aggressive mother Quye, had

bucks. They both had been part owners of a dozen California

houses. And individually had owned a shiny new black

Mercedes benz, and had dressed accordingly. From time to

time, they had also dressed identically.

     I had been glad that Buddha had the smarts, to bestow

Tu with a fetish mentally. When the broad was at home, she

had dressed like a manga high school babe. She wore short

blue skirts, white blouses, tight little white panties, knee

socks, and black Mary Jane shoes. The broad was a sex bomb!
                                 LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 7

     In addition to looking like a sexy manga chick. Tu had

also reminded me of one of those naughty and horny

adolescent babes, that the French artist Balthus had

created, and painted in the nineteen thirties.

     Despite the fact that Tu had only been five feet tall,

she had a killer body. Tu had exercised daily, sometimes

nude, with a red hula hoop. She had also endlessly played

the musical DVD’s that she had starred in, on her three TVs.

     Tu had been the lead canary and diva, of a traveling

Texas based Vietnamese entertainment Troup. She had also

hosted an hour long cable TV, Vietnamese talk show.

     Tu and her mother Quye, had been affiliated with the

Vietnamese mafia. They had jointly purchased residential

Southern California houses with the mafia, and had rented

out the rooms and garages to hard ups like myself.

     Tu, her mother, and their mafia friends, had retained

the houses for about a year. They then had sold the houses

for a substantial profit, and resumed buying houses again.

     Maybe I’m just a jealous bastard? But what I can’t get,

is why Asian broads, after thousands of years of human

progress, are still emphatically obedient to their Asian

men. They still view the little shits as their master. And

still drag their sweet yellow asses behind the half-pints.
                                 LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 8

     If I didn’t step on their sandals, Tu and her mafia

pals were polite and friendly people. They hadn’t been aware

that I was a vet of the Vietnam war, and probably would’ve

cared, because the Goddamn war had become so ancient.

     Two months after I had graduated from a collage art

school, Uncle Sam had drafted me. At the time that I had

been drafted, I had just landed a job in a Chicago

commercial art, and advertising studio.

     My artistic talents and training, gave Uncle Sam a

hard-on. He had spared me boot camp, and had handed me a

Seamen First-Class rank in the Naval-Air. And then had

thrown me into his Department of Propaganda.

     My first military assignment had been during Cuban

missal crisis. My job at the time, had been to play up

Cuban-Russian conspiracies.

     My second military outing had been the ugly Vietnam

war. I had spent three daunting fuckin’ years in South

Vietnam, fabricating and spreading war lies.

     After I had been honorably discharged from the

military. It took me ten years to get of the smell of blood

off my hands, and my fuckin’ nightmares to end.
                                   LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 9

       In my opinion. America’s asshole involvement in Iraq

and Afghanistan, is in no way a second Vietnam. I view

America’s Middle East wars, as a carbon copy of its

nineteenth century American Indian guerilla wars.

       I sure wish that someone would remind President Obama,

and the US Senate, that the Indian wars had taken the United

States Army sixty fuckin’ years to win. And also! If America

ever goes to war again for black gold, get the fuckin’ oil!

       My early morning drive to the Wolcott Memorial Hospital

on the day of my surgery, had been awful. There had been a

drizzling rainfall, a Pacific Ocean fog, and the outside

temperature had been hitting about sixty degrees.

       When I had finally arrived at the hospital. I had

parked my old and beat up dark red Chevy impala, at the far

end of the hospital parking lot.

       I had hid my phony Rolex wristwatch inside a black

stocking in my duffle bag. I had then grabbed my duffle bag,

locked my car doors, and went inside the medical center.

       When all the hour long hospital rigamaroles had been

completed. I had been dressed in a sexy open back grayish

hospital gown, that had flaunted my baby pink sagging bare

                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 10

     Two beefy and strong male hospital aids, dressed in

blue scrubs, had lifted, and plunked me down on a four wheel

bed. They then had vigilantly pushed, and had guided the

wheeled bed into a white painted hospital operating room.

     After the two male aids had plunked me face up on the

room’s operating table, two nice-looking Latina nurses then

took it from there. The two nurses had then spent the next

fifteen minutes preparing me for my operation.

     The only two events that I had vividly remembered

before my operation, was that the third floor operating room

had a strong stench of rubbing alcohol. And the dark brown

slanted eyes, of a half masked Asian female anesthetist.

     The Asian broad had been gently stroking my face, and

whispering with a soft melodious voice, how smooth my skin

had been.

     The Asian enchantress had made me wish, before she had

delivered me into a world nothingness, that we had met

somewhere else. C’est la vie!

     When my bypass operation had been completed, roughly

nine hours later. I had been pulled out of the black hole by

the same slanted eyed Delilah that had put me there. When

the Asian broad had been sure that I was alive and kicking.

She had me transferred to a squeaking wheeled bed.
                                 LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 11

     An overly cheerful good-looking German nurse named Eva,

like in Eva Braun. Had then pushed my wheeled bed and

bundled body out of the operating room.

     When I was in the hospital hallway, I had been

immediately greeted by my lovely and supportive, twenty-four

year old daughter Annie.

     I think both Annie and the hospital staff had been

surprised that I had been so alert, and not a slobbering

off-the-wall feeble asshole.

     My good-natured daughter Annie, was a few inches over

five feet tall. When she had met me in the hallway, she had

been wearing a black short sleeve silk shirt, and a faded

blue denim skirt.

     Annie had short strawberry blond hair, and both Polish

and German physical features. She had been blessed with a

peaches-and-cream complexion, and almond shaped blue eyes.

     Annie had held my right hand, as the babbling good-

looking kraut, had pushed my wheeled bed to the far end of

the medicinal reeking hallway.

     When we had reached the hospital room that had been

numbered three hundred. Nurse Eva had carefully maneuvered

my bed inside the room. The hospital room had obviously been

designed, and equipped for only heart patients.
                                  LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 12

       A few seconds later, two young and husky Polish female

nurses had entered my room. And had immediately lifted me

off the wheeled bed, and had sat me down on my room’s raised


       Nurse Eva had then took charge. She had promptly

straightened my hospital gown, and had covered my lower body

with two gray cotton blankets.

       When the two giggling Polish nurses had exited my room,

nurse Eva had quickly hooked me up to a wall mounted heart


       While Annie and I had chewed the fat. Nurse Eva had

clipped a small oxygen breathing unit on my nose. And then

had gently plunged and taped, an IV needle in a vain on the

top of my right hand.

       When nurse Eva had completed her rudimentary hospital

tasks, she had handed me a small paper cup with water, and

two white oval painkiller’s to swallow.

       nurse Eva had then playfully squeezed my left foot. And

had told me that my dinner would be served at five o’clock.

The kraut had then flashed a smile, and had exited my room.

       When I had handed Annie my paper cup to dump, I had

asked her what the hell time it was?    Annie had pointed at

the wall clock that had been hanging parallel to my bed.
                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 13

     I had been somewhat surprised, that I had never noticed

the wall clock. Anyhow. It had been four o’clock in the

afternoon, and getting dark outside. I wasn’t hungry at the

time. All I had a taste for was a cup of hot chocolate.

     The air that had been continuously being forced into my

lungs by my room’s oxygen unit, really had felt good. And I

finally had been breathing normally.

    Annie had remarked that she had thought that I had been

really looking good. Whether it had been true or not. I had

liked hearing it. Her comment had perked me up, and had

given me a sense confidence.

     When Annie had inquired how I had been feeling?   I had

told Annie that I had hurt like hell, so I still must be


     My comment had made Annie chuckle. She then had told me

that she was going to go home, and telephone her brothers,

my three sons. She had said that she had wanted them to know

that I had successfully pulled-through surgery, and that I

had been doing really great!

     Annie had advised me to rest up, and get some shuteye.

She had then promised that she would visit me tomorrow.

Annie had then patted my right hand, kissed my forehead,

nodded a goodbye, and had head off with wet joyful eyes.
                                 LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 14

     Boy oh boy! I swear to God. Even though it has been

year later. I still can recall the agonizing leg, and chest

pains that I had experienced after having surgery.

     The surgical incision on my chest was, and still is, a

good ten inches long.

     Who ever had stitched me back together again, when my

surgery had been completed, definitely needed to enroll in a

an art and craft class.

     The fuckin’ stitches on my chest and left leg, looked

straight out of a Frankenstein horror flick. The stitches on

a Goddamn Thanksgiving turkey had looked better than mine.

     The stitched incision on my left leg, where the surgeon

had removed an artery for my bypasses, had traveled from my

crotch to my ankle. My left leg had been totally useless. I

could hardly move it, let alone stand or walk on it.

     Aside from the excruciating pain that I had experienced

from any type of body movement. My biggest frustration had

been, that I was physically helpless and vulnerable. I had

hoped that nobody yelled fire.

     Due to the fact that I had been downing drugs several

times a day, and napping on and off like a new born, I had

lost track of time.
                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 15

     Early one morning, because a bonehead nurse had forgot

to close my window blinds, I had been awakened by the golden

rays of dawn. For me! Sunrise and sunsets, had always been

the holy hours of the day, and I had cherished every second

that they had lasted.

     Anyhow. I didn’t know what fuckin’ day it was, or what

time it was. The wall clock was as dead as a doornail. When

I had noticed my breakfast chow sitting on my bed table, I

had figured that it was about six in the morning.

     On that particular morning, I recall that I hadn’t been

hungry. And why the hell should I have been? The only

exercise that I had, was walking like Igor three times a day

in the hospital hallway. Aside from my three thirty minute

Igor jaunts, all I ever did was eat, sleep, shit, and

briefly watch television. So I had pulled my putrid gray

blanket over my head, and dozed off.

     About fifteen minutes later, I had heard a woman’s

voice. She had a throaty middle-eastern accent. She had

yelled out my name, and had wished me a happy Sunday


     The broad’s loud voice had startled the hell out of me.

But at least I had known that it was Sunday morning.
                                 LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 16

     When I had pulled the blanket off my face. My eyes had

just about popped out of my head.

     Standing in my fuckin’ doorway had been a gorgeous

raven-haired broad, with flawless golden-brown skin. She had

been boldly smiling, and holding a thick Sunday newspaper

under her left armpit. She had also been holding an aluminum

pitcher of ice water, and my morning medication.

     If I had been asked to judge the broad on a scale from

one to ten. I would’ve given her a ten, plus two!

     Unfortunately. I was soon to discover that no

relationship with the exotic beauty, was the best


     The golden skin lulu had been about my height, five

feet, nine inches tall, and stacked. And I mean stacked. The

broad had resembled the movie star Salma Heyak. In fact she

had been a fuckin’ dead ringer of the stunning movie star.

     But her uncanny resemblance to Heyak, had been as far

as it had went. I would’ve bet that the broad had been from

India, and not from Mexico.

     The stunning Heyak look-alike, had appeared to be in

her middle twenties. But she could’ve been older then she

had looked. And she had been.   If fact, she had been a few

thousand years older than she had looked.
                                 LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 17

     The exotic broad had been dressed in two tone v-neck

blue scrubs, a tailored white scrub jacket, and white


     I had distinctly remembered seeing the attractive chick

right after I had surgery. In fact, she had been the first

broad that I had laid eyes on.

     The broad had been standing at the open operating room

doorway, and had appeared to be giving me the once-over.

Then poof! She had disappeared. I had wondered why the hell

she had decided to show her face again?

     Anyways. To make a short story long. The broad had

entered my room. She then had confidently swayed her

gorgeous ass over to my bed table, and had put the items

that she had been hauling on the table.

     Then the gorgeous unsmiling broad, had glanced at me

with her fiery eyes. And I swear to God, they were fiery. So

Goddamn fiery, that they had rang my danger bell. And had

got me wondering as to who the hell the broad was?

     The first thought that had crossed my mind at the time,

was that the broad had been the sister of an irate artist’s

model that had posed for me. I had been there before. I had

decided not to ask any questions, and to let the intrigue

play out.
                                   LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 18

     When the exotic lulu had rolled my bed table to the

right side of my bed, she had looked like she was going to

bite me. She didn’t. She had surprisingly flashed me a big

friendly smile, and had lowered my bed guard rail.

     It was at that moment. When the broad had lowered my

bed rail. That I had sniffed the intoxicating, and rare

scent of lotus flowers in bloom.

     The unique scent had rang my danger bell again. The

scent had meant something to me, but I couldn’t puzzle out

what? The fuckin’ hospital drugs had stiffiled my thinking,

and had also played games with my imagination.

     The only two realities that I had nailed down at the

time, was that the broad had been dominant lady. And that

she had me sitting on pins and needles.

     The broad undeniably had made me curious, and had

scared me at the same time. I couldn’t resolve or figure

out, if it had been her incredible beauty that had scared

me? Or not knowing what the hell the broad had been


     A name tag with Dru Montez printed on it, had been

pinned on the broad’s right jacket lapel. I had also

observed a small, and very pale red bindi dot on her

forehead, between her eyebrows.
                                   LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 19

        The pale red bindi on her forehead, had told me that

the nurse probably had been a Hindu. I then had quickly

erased the probably, and had decided that the broad had

definitely been a Hindu.

        The gorgeous nurse had then suddenly left my bedside,

and had walked indifferently to the foot of my bed. And had

then read my health reports on the hanging clipboard.

        When the broad had finished reading, she had smilingly

claimed that I had been doing great. I had already known

that, but it had always been reassuring to hear it again.

        The broad had then claimed that I would probably be

released from the hospital in a few days. That had been good

news. Because I had needed to get my ass out of the joint

before the first of the year. Nurse Eva had told me, that

the hospital didn’t release their patients on Christmas, or

on New Year’s Day.

        The exotic hottie, had then told me that her name was

Dru, and that she had been my today nurse. I then had asked

her what Dru had been short for, and where she had breezed


        I had wanted to find out anything that I could about

the broad. The chick had been giving me the creeps. And my

sixth sense had been nagging me to be vigilant.
                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 20

     I had almost laughed out loud, when the lulu had told

me that Dru had been short Draupedi, and that she had been

from Panchala, India. She had also claimed that in India,

she had also been known as Panchali.

     The fuckin’ two handles that the broad had hit me with,

belonged to a Hindu queen that lived several thousand years

ago. But at least I had known for sure, that the chick was a


     The Hindu broad had sensed my disbelief, and had gawked

angrily at me for a few seconds. She then had asked me where

I had been born, and how my surgery had been feeling?

     I had told the Hindu broad that I had been born in

Chicago, and that my chest and left leg had hurt like hell.

     I had also praised the surgeon, for having the ability

to give me a second life. I had told Hindu hottie, that if

this had been twenty years ago, I would’ve been a fuckin’

dead man.

     The Hindu broad had passively told me that nobody ever

dies. She then had froze, and had stared at me for a moment.

She had appeared to be figuring out their next move.

     It was at that moment in time, that the Hindu broad had

started coming for me like a fuckin’ Russian tank.
                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 21

     When I had asked the Hindu broad what the hell she had

meant, when she had claimed that no one had ever kicked the

bucket? The broad had ignored my question, and coyly had

asked me if I was married?

     I had told the Hindu broad that I wasn’t married. And

that I had been divorced for fifteen years, and that I had

lived alone. I had also mentioned that I had three sons, and

a daughter from my failed marriage.

     The Hindu broad had then inquire if I had been lonely?

When I had begun to reply to her gritty question, the broad

had cut me off. She not only had claimed that she had been

lonely. She had claimed that she had been the loneliest

woman in the world.

     That was one the fuckin’ books, I had thought at the

time. I had managed to control my laughter, especially when

she had told me that every night she cries herself to sleep.

     I’ve had my share of lonely boohoo stories. They

usually had come from goofy artist’s models. In my opinion.

There was no way in the world, that a gorgeous piece of ass

like nurse Dru, could ever be a lonely nurse.

     Unless of course, the Hindu broad had been nagging

bitch. Or maybe a neurotic broad that had been continuously

searching for her real self, and the meaning of life.
                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 22

     The most twisted broads that I had ever met, are born

again Christians. Those fuckin’ broads are certified


     Their religious beliefs and theology are on a grammar

school level. And as sacrilegious, and sugar coated, as all

the shit that I had ever seen on the TV religious networks.

     The supposedly lonely nurse had continued to tell me

her boohoo story. She had told me that she had no honor as a

wife, and that she had received no respect as a mother. She

had also tearfully claimed that her life was pathetic, and

that she had no sense of joy or victory.

     When I had questioned the enigmatic, and stressed out

broad about her husband and children. The loony Hindu had

told me that she had five husbands, but had none.

     As for her kids, the Hindu broad had claimed that she

had five sons, but had never been a mother.

     Then suddenly! The Hindu broad had looked as if she had

just been quick-frozen. Her gorgeous face had a spaced out

expression. I naturally had become concerned, and had

inquired if she was okay?

     The Hindu broad had told me that she had to take a

piss. And she fuckin’ did. She had urinated right next to my

bed, on the fuckin’ white tiled floor.
                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 23

     The whole fuckin’ incident had been surreal. I couldn’t

believe my eyes or ears. My room’s bathroom and toilet, had

only been a dozen feet away.

     The Hindu broad had beamed, and had told me that she

couldn’t hold it.

     I painfully had rolled onto my right hip, and had

checked the status of my room’s white tiled floor. There

wasn’t one fuckin’ drop of urine on it. The floor had been

bone dry.

     When I had rolled back onto my ass, I had almost shit

in my hospital gown. The Hindu broad had been floating close

to the floor, and facing me from the inside my bathroom

doorway. Behind her, for only a brief second, had been a

giant hissing King cobra showing his fangs.

     The fuckin’ cobra had been engulfed by twisting flames

of fire, that had done no damage, or threw off any heat.

     When the Hindu broad had exited my bathroom, she had no

fuckin’ leg movement. She had slowly glided close to the

floor, towards me.

     Her arms had been pressed tightly against the sides of

her body, and her fingers had been pointed outward, away

from her body. Her body posture had reminded me of an

ancient and ritual, Egyptian dance posture.
                                  LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 24

     I had been totally amazed and razzle-dazzled by the

Hindu broad. Particularly when I had witnessed her glide

across my bedroom floor, to my bedside.

     I had wondered what the hell was going on. I didn’t

know if I had been dreaming, hallucinating, or if all the

shit really had been happening?

     The broad’s cobra woman stunt, had been way too much

for my reasoning and sensibilities. It had also got me

thinking that the Hindu horror queen had been performing

magic, or slipping me something. But I couldn’t figure out,

how the hell the broad had been doing it?

     When I had finally grabbed hold of my senses. I had

decided that it was time for the Horror queen to get

cracking, and pick on someone else. I didn’t need lightening

to tell me that the broad had been bad news. The fiery

bathroom scene had already done that!

     I had painfully lifted and wiggled my slouched aching

body into a seated position on my raised bed. When I had

felt relatively comfortable, and had caught my breath. I had

told the Hindu broad that I had enjoyed chewing the fat with

her, and that I had needed to get some shuteye.

     I had then graciously thanked the Hindu broad for all

of her help, and had told her that she could leave now.
                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 25

     I’ve had my share of psycho artist’s models. I didn’t

need a lonely nurse on my list of female flakes. And

definitely not a likely femme fatale.

     The Hindu broad had totally ignored my goodbye. And had

popped two painkillers into my jaws, and had handed    me a

paper cup of ice water.

     When I had returned the empty cup to the chick, she had

brazenly crunched the cup into a ball, and threw it over her

shoulder. She then had quickly marched to my room’s open

doorway, and had closed and locked the fuckin’ door.

     When the Hindu broad had returned to my bedside, she

had told me that she had liked privacy. As far as I had been

concerned, I didn’t want to be anywhere private with the

unstable chick.

     When I had witnessed the Hindu broad close and lock my

room’s door. That’s when I should’ve buzzed the front desk,

and gotten rid of the spook. But I fuckin’ couldn’t. The

Hindu Delilah had fascinated the hell out of me.

     I had totally ignored my dear mother’s warning, that

curiosity is what killed the cat.

     I had simply wanted to find out what the hell the Hindu

broad had been up to? And why she had been wasting her time

with me? I hadn’t swallowed, she’s my day nurse bullshit.
                                 LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 26

     The lulu had surprised me again. But only this time, it

had been because she had pulled out a gold flask of booze

from her back pocket.

     The Hindu broad had then smilingly, grabbed two Dixie

cups from my room’s cup dispenser, and had poured us both a

knock. After I had taken a quick sip of the broad’s booze, I

had asked her what the hell I had been drinking?

     She had told me that the booze had been a Hindu

ceremonial whiskey. And then had wished me a happy new year,

and had drained her paper cup.

     I had done likewise! And suddenly had wondered if the

booze would have any effect on my blood pressure? I had been

downing blood pressure pills. So I had rationalized that

drinking the booze had probably been all right.

     To my amazement, I had noticed a two-inch circular gold

medallion, that had been playing ping pong with her breasts.

And I had wondered why the hell I hadn’t seen earlier?

     When I had taken a closer look at her gold medallion, I

had observed a raised image of a man, whom I had been dead

sure was Krishna. The avatar of Vishnu had been standing on

an incised outline of India, and playing a flute. The flute

had been the giveaway. Hindu artist’s the majority of the

time, had artistically depicted Krishna playing a flute.
                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 27

     The Krishna figure on the broad’s gold medallion. Had

been surrounded by a dozen incised stars, that I had been

sure had marked sacred and forbidden Hindu locations. One

star, directly above Krishna’s head, I had been definitely

sure, had marked the Hindu garden of pleasure.

     After the Hindu broad had poured us another round of

whiskey, she immediately had asked me if I had liked her

medallion? I had told her that I sure did. And I had asked

where she had got from?

     The Hindu broad had told me that her gold medallion had

been a gift from her father. And that her father had given

her the medallion on her fourteenth birthday.

     I had wanted to know who the hell her father was? And I

had asked her. The Hindu broad had told me that her father’s

name was Drupad, and that he had been the king of Panchala.

     Here we go again I had thought to myself at the time.

Drupad had been the king of Panchala for sure, but it had

been thousands of years ago. If the broad had been the

king’s daughter, she’d be in the fuckin’ bone yard with him.

     Just as I had been prepared to call her out on it. The

broad had distracted me. She had told me that she had heard

that I had been an artist. And had then asked me how long I

had been an artist?
                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 28

     I had jokingly told her since the great flood. My worn-

out joke had made the broad chuckle. And had prompted her to

claim that she had always wanted to pose for an artist, and

have her portrait painted. She then had asked me if I had

painted pictures nude women?

     I enthusiastically had told the broad that I did. And I

had pompously boasted, that I had painted and photographed a

helluva lot of naked babes over the years.

     I had also advised her, that the only portraits that I

had painted of women, were of babes that I had found

interesting and motivating.

     She had told me that she had understood that. She then

had claimed that she would love to see my paintings.

     I had suspiciously had taken her sudden interest in my

artwork, as a lame excuse to get her sweet Hindu ass inside

my studio. Which of course I hadn’t had.

     I hadn’t been living like a illustrious artist in a big

time art studio. I had been living like an illustrious big

time loser, in a small time rented bedroom.

     It had been those kinds moments, that had made me

realize, and resent the reality of my fuckin’ messed up

life. The difference this time around, had been that I had

earnestly decided to change my pathetic life, chop-chop.
                                  LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 29

     On the bright side. I do have to admit that the bedroom

that I had been renting at the time, in Tu’s house of

undesirables, had been large. And that I had been using the

room as my art studio. In fact, I had been painting eight

foot size canvases in the room.

     The broad’s portrait come-on, had got me thinking that

the Hindu broad had been hunting for something. And in her

twisted mind, she had believed that I had that something.

     To keep the broad from setting a foot on my scared

ground. Actually because of my humiliating living

conditions. I had told the broad that she could check out my

artwork on my website. I had advised her to type in my name

on Google search, and my site would pop up.

     An erotic nude image of the Hindu nurse had momentarily

popped into my mind. And I had recklessly told her that I

would paint her portrait if she had liked my artwork.

     The Hindu broad had seemed pleased. And had told me

that she could only pay for her portrait with gold. She then

got personal. She had asked me if I had affairs with the

women that had posed naked for me?

     I had told her that I had been too fuckin’ old to have

affairs. I also had told her that pussy hadn’t interested me

                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 30

     When I had finished my absurd line of bullshit. I had

regretted that I hadn’t been honest with the Hindu broad. I

should’ve told her right than and there, straight-out, that

I had no desire or an interest, in painting a portrait of a

Selma Hayek look-alike.

     I wasn’t an artist like a Leroy Neiman, or a Thomas

kinkade. Men who had gotten their kicks from painting

cosmetic portraits of celebrities, and calendar art. My

artistic values and personal goals, had been significantly

different from theirs.

     I had told the Hindu broad that I had thought that she

had been a beautiful chick. And that there were a helluva

lot of artists, that would give their left ball to have her

as the model.

     The Hindu broad had flattered me. She had insisted that

she had wanted me, and only me to paint her portrait. Even

though I had a nagging desire to see the Hindu broad naked,

I had told her that I hadn’t time to paint her portrait.

     A few second’s later, I impetuously had changed my

mind. And I had decided to stop jacking the broad around,

and come clean. I had frankly admitted to her, that I wasn’t

interested in painting a portrait of a Hayek look-alike.
                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 31

     I really had thought, actually I had hoped, that my

lame reason for not painting her portrait would shut her up.

     It hadn’t! All it had done was infuriate her. The

psychotic broad had ridiculously claimed that the only

reason why she had looked like Hayek, was because Hayek had

turned me on.

     I hadn’t the slightest idea as to what hell she had

even been talking about. And for the millionth time, had

decide to play along. I had told her that I had thought that

Hayek had been an okay babe. But the super turn on for me,

had been a French actress named Eva Green.

     When she had heard that. The Hindu broad had dropped

another one of attention getting bombs. In a blink of an

eye, Eva Green had been at my bedside, and gawking at me.

     I had just about passed out. It had taken me a couple

of minutes to stop trembling, catch my breath, and untangle

my confused brain.

     When I had finally been able to think straight. I had

realized why the fuckin’ clock on the wall had been dead.

     And why, from the very first moment that I had met the

chick, I had never seen or heard anyone else again. She had

either taken me and my room into another dimension, or she

had slipped me a fuckin’ mind bending hallucinatory drug.
                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 32

     I couldn’t comprehend any of the shit that the Hindu

broad had been throwing at me. Nothing had made any sense.

Particularly why the hell it had all been happening to me?

     When I had asked the Hindu broad where the hell I was?

The chick had looked at me, as if I had been dumb fuck. She

had giggled, and arrogantly had told me that I had been in

the fourth dimension.

     I had immediately asked her how many fuckin’ dimensions

are there? She had told me eight.

     The Hindu broad had claimed that humans could only

subsist in the third and forth dimension. She had told me

that all the other dimensions had been forbidden places.

     I had jokingly remarked that I had always thought that

angels had played in the fourth dimension. The broad had

shook her head no. Shehad seriously claimed that the land of

angles had been in the fifth dimension.

     My knowledge of the Hindu culture had been sketchy

enough to know that Draupadi, whom the nurse had claimed

herself to be, had been considered in Hindu history, a tough

cookie. And that Draupadi and Krishna had been buddies.

     When the broad’s gold Krishna medallion had popped into

my mind, I had begun to seriously think that the Hindu broad

just might be Draupadi.
                                   LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 33

        If the nutty nurse really had been the fiery Hindu

princess bent on vengeance, it had meant that I had been in

fuckin’ big trouble. The volcanic broad in Hindu history,

had been known as avenger and an assassin. And a babe that

had reduced her enemies to ashes.

        I had reached my saturation point, and I had told the

Hindu broad to stop fucking with me. I had then asked her,

who the hell she really was? And what the hell she had

wanted with me?

        She had told me that she was, who she had already had

told me she was. She again had declared that her name had

been Draupadi, and that she was wife and queen of the five

great Pandavas.

        Fully aware that the broad had been a fuckin’ assassin.

I had asked her if she had been planning to kill me? The

Hindu broad had coolly told me that she wasn’t going to pop


        Then suddenly. She had shifted gears, and she had

shouted that she would kill me, if I didn’t fork over the

fifth sacred Veda to her. I hadn’t the slightest fuckin’

idea as to what hell she had been talking about?

        She had then asked me, if I knew the oracle Kapoor

                                 LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 34

     I had been taken off-guard by her question. And I had

told the impetuous broad, that I had met the oracle Negi,

forty-five years ago in a drunken dream. I had also told her

that dreams aren’t real, and either had been Negi.

     The Hindu broad had disagreed. She had told me that all

human beings lived and traveled in two worlds. And she had

claimed that what people had called dreams, had been a real

world that had existed in the forth dimension.

     She had claimed that when humans had departed the third

dimension, they had entered, and had subsisted forever in

the fourth dimension. I had presumed that departed had meant

death, and forever had meant eternity.

     I jokingly had asked the lulu, where the so-called

heaven and hell had been hiding out?

     The Hindu broad had suddenly appeared vexed. I had

thought that the chick was going to piss on the floor again.

And maybe even do a repeat performance of her cobra woman

stunt. She hadn’t.

     When the Hindu broad had exited her trance, she had

claimed that heaven was the fourth dimension. And that hell

had been the planet earth, because earth had been the

Tempter’s domain. I had presumed that the Tempter had been

none other than Satan himself.
                                 LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 35

     The Hindu broad had gone on to explain. She had told me

that Vishnu had given the Tempter, and the evil spirits

their walking papers. And that he had expelled all the

merchants of evil from the fourth dimension, and had given

them a one way ticket into the third dimension.

     The screwy broad had claimed that the so called hell,

and the planet earth had been synonymous. And that it had

been the only dimension in the cosmos, where fear,

corruption, greed, war, murder, injustice, and disease had

existed. Her list of bad shit had been considerably longer.

I’ve only highlighted a small number of the crap that she

had flung at me.

     After hearing the broad’s spiel. I had thought that the

that fourth dimension had sucked. It had sounded like a

boring world of ready-mades. I really hadn’t wanted to

subsist in a world where the miracle of birth, human drama,

and dilemma, had been missing.

     When the chick’s bible school talk had reached my

bursting point, I had asked her to knock it off. And get

down to brass tacks.

     The Hindu broad had claimed that the oracle Negi, in a

vision, had told her where to find me. And also had told

her, that I had the sacred fifth Veda in my possession.
                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 36

     As far as I had been concerned. Every Goddamn thing

that the Hindu broad had told me, had been a crock of shit.

And I had told her so.

     I think I had insulted the broad, when I had told her

that I had thought that she had been badly deluded. And that

there had only been four sacred Vedas.

     My words had angered her. And I had really thought that

the broad had been going for my heart. I had overreacted,

and instinctively had slugged her fuckin’ jaw.

     The stunned chick had pulled back. And with clenched

fists, she had shouted that there had been five sacred


     When the furious broad had calmed down. She had quietly

informed me, that the sacred text of the fifth Veda had

important astronomical codes. And also had the wisdom of the

universe, and an additional version of the creation of the


     The Hindu broad had claimed, that fifth Veda had

contained instructions for performing sacrifices, magic and


     I had told her that she was fucked-up. And that

everything she had just told me, had been in the last three

Vedas. And that there had been no fifth Veda!
                                 LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 37

     The Hindu broad had haughtily claimed that I had been

wrong. The snatch had insisted that a sacred fifth Veda had

existed, and that it had been the most important of all the

sacred Vedas. She had told me that the fifth Veda had been,

the only Veda ever written in forbidden dreams.

     I had no fuckin’ idea as to what the hell forbidden

dreams had meant, or was?   To me, it had sounded like the

title of a Bollywood porno flick. But whatever it was, I had

been fuckin’ sure, that it had a lot of nasty shit going on

inside of it.

     The Hindu broad had inquired how I had come to know so

much about her county, and the sacred Vedas?

     I hadn’t wanted to admit, that it had been from

watching B-movies. So I had lied. I had told the broad that

I had taken a Far Eastern history class at the university of

Chicago. I had also sugared up my bullshit, and had told her

that I had a solid background in the art of India.

     Actually. My lie, had only been half a lie. I had

occasionally, from time to time, had picked up a few bucks,

because of my formal, and B-movie education.

     After my Vietnam jaunt, I had become a somewhat amateur

private detective. But not of the Sherlock Holmes, or Sam

Spade variety.
                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 38

     Due to my extensive background and knowledge in the

areas of art, religion, mysticism, and the occult. I had

occasionally been hired to investigate and substantiate, the

credibility of paranormal and supernatural activity, and

both present day and ancient myths.

     I had finally got my chance to kick her sweet Hindu

ass. The Hindu broad had claimed that my father Karl

Kosnecki, had given me the fifth Veda at the time of his


     The Hindu smart-ass had been balled over, and thrown

for a loop. When I had told her that Karl hadn’t been my

father. She immediately had asked who my father was?

     I had told her that my dad’s name had been John

Kosnecki, and that Karl had been my father’s older brother.

     My father had never talked much about his older brother

Karl. All I had ever known about my uncle Karl, was that he

had been the bad apple in the family.

     Every time I had inquired about my uncle Karl, my dad

had become extremely annoyed, said nothing, and walked away.

     My dad had been a practicing Roman Catholic. He had

been good to my mother, and had also been a wonderful

father. He had died fifteen years ago from kidney failure,

at Chicago’s Cook County hospital.
                                   LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 39

     My mother Helena and I, had to dig fuckin’ deep to pay

for my dad’s funeral. My loving mother had never told me.

but I had suspected that she had pawned her wedding rings,

to help pay for my dad’s burial.

     My mother and I, had my dad buried at the Mount Olivet

Catholic Cemetery, located on the Northwest side of Chicago.

     After my dad’s burial. I had taken my Mother to a

nearby Polish restaurant for lunch. It had been at that

time. Right after we had finished eating lunch, and I had

been pigging out on a huge piece Polish rum babka cake. That

my mother had told me that my dad had left a package for me.

     I hadn’t the slightest idea as to what my father had

left for me? But I had been definitely sure that it hadn’t

been moola.

     When my mother and I had finished our coffee and

desert, I had taken my mother back to her apartment on the

Northwest side of Chicago. When she had settled down, and

had wiped away all her tears, she handed me my dad’s

newspaper wrapped package.

     The scotch taped white envelope on my dad’s large book

size package, had been addressed to me. I didn’t open the

envelope, until I had retuned to my storefront art studio,

that had been only a few blocks away from my mother’s joint.
                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 40

     The first half of father’s letter to me, had expressed

his love for me. In the second half, my father had told me

never to open the package that he had given me. He had

written that if I did, it could mean certain death.

     With a fuckin’ warning like that! I had wanted to rip

it open. But I hadn’t. I had honored my father’s last

request, and I had never opened his package.

     In my father’s letter, he had instructed me to hide his

package in a safe place. He had also told me never to

surrender the contents to anyone, especially a world power.

     My dad had wrote that his brother Karl had given him

the package in Detroit, Michigan. That had surprised me. I

had wondered what had been up between my father and my uncle

Karl? The lousy part, was that I would now never know.

     My father had also stated in his letter, that he had

been sorry that he had to transfer his package on to me. He

had reminded me that I had been his only child, and had

wrote that he regrettably had no other choice.

     After I had finished reading my dad’s cloak and dagger

letter to me, I had hid his package under my bed. I had

planned to eventually find a safer place for it, but my

laziness had gotten the better of me, and I never did.
                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 41

     As the years had quickly melted away, I had forgotten,

until my lay-up at the hospital, that I had my dad’s

package. When I had filled out the hospital forms at the

time of my bypass surgery, I had wrote down a phony home

address. So I had been confident that my dad’s package had

been safe, while I had by away from my room.

     The idea that my dad’s unopened package had contained

the sacred fifth Veda, had been too far out. It had been

totally illogical. There had been no way in the world that

my father and uncle, could’ve owned the Hindu goody.

     As I had mentioned earlier. I knew shit about uncle

Karl. I didn’t even know what the hell he had looked like?

It had been my mother, not my father, that had told me that

my uncle Karl had lived in Montreal, Canada. And that in

nineteen fifty-two, he had been killed in a car crash.

     Because the Hindu babe had brought my uncle’s handle

into her crazy talk. I had figured that maybe she had known

something about uncle. So I had asked her to tell me

anything that she knew about my uncle Karl.

     The Hindu broad had upset me. She had told me that my

uncle Karl had been a World War Two Nazi commander. My first

thought had been the words bad apple. I had finally found

out why my father had been at odds with his older brother.
                                 LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 42

     I almost had honked when I had found out that my uncle

Karl had been a fuckin’ Nazi. Then Suddenly, from out of the

blue. The Hindu broad had turned on me.

     The broad had demanded, actually had warned me, to stop

calling her a broad, a chick, and a babe. She had told me

that she is a queen, and she had deserved respect.

     The Hindu broad had also claimed, that if her father

had heard the names that I had called her, he would’ve

immediately had chopped off my tongue.

     She had me made glad that her papa had been a stiff. I

had then jokingly remarked that she had a something to

remember me by. My humor hadn’t pleased her. All it had

done, was anger her more.

     I had told the Hindu broad to calm down. And then had

politely asked the quick-tempered broad, what she had wanted

me to call her?   She had shouted Dru. Then had calmly asked

me, to please refer to her as Dru.

     When I had agreed! Dru had cracked a big and beautiful

victory smile. And immediately had claimed that my uncle

Karl, had been Heinrich Himmler’s right-hand man.

     I had known who Himmler had been. The motherfucker had

been Adolf Hitler right-hand man, and the overseer of the

Nazi concentration camps.
                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 43

     The Nazi motherfucker had not only been instrumental in

killing over six million Jewish people. He had also murdered

uncountable numbers of Poles, blacks, and handicapped

people. Himmler had killed anyone that he, or the German

Third Reich had deemed as unworthy to live.

     I had asked Dru what else she had known about my uncle

Karl? She had claimed that my uncle had been the commander

of Hiller’s Black Blade Division, and had poured us another

round of whiskey.

     After I had sipped some whiskey, I had asked Dru what

the hell the Black Blade Division had been?

     Dru had told me that the Black Blades had been a

special Nazi military unit, and also a secret German occult


     Dru had claimed that the sole purpose of the Black

Blades, had been to hunt down and acquire by any means,

ancient scriptures of revelation. And the holiest of relics,

and the magical procedures for gaining power over enemies.

     Dru had ignored the cup of whiskey that she had poured

for herself on my bed table. And had decided to take a swig

directly from her whiskey flask. I had suspected that Dru

had avoided her cup of whiskey, because she had accidentally

spiked it. And had hoped that I would finish it off.
                                   LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 44

     When Dru had finished drinking from her flask of

whiskey, she had carefully stood her gold flask on the

floor. And then had told me that Hitler and his two top men,

Himmler and Hess, had been mystics.

     I had developed a nagging stiff neck from always

looking up at Dru, and I had mentioned it to her. I had

asked Dru to sit her ass down on a chair. She had nodded

okay. And had noisily dragged a blue vinyl upholstered

aluminum chair next to my bed, and sat down.

     It had been the first that that I had seen Dru at eye

level. The fuckin’ eerie broad had resembled Eva Green to a

tee. Her face had been an exact duplicate of the Jewish

princess that Green had portrayed, in Ridley Scott’s epic

kingdom of heaven flick.

     After Dru had crossed her legs, she had told me that

Hitler’s guru had been man named Savithri Devi. I hadn’t

give a fuckin’ shit as to who Hitler’s guru, aunt, or uncle

had been. All I had been interested in at the time, had been

hearing about my bad seed uncle.

     Dru had claimed that when Hitler had been losing the

war, he had decided to save his Nazi ass, by unleashing the

power of sacred fifth Veda on the world.
                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 45

     That would’ve been some fuckin’ trick, I had thought to

myself at the time. Because there had been no fifth Veda!

     Dru had read my thoughts. She had told me that except

for a handful of Hindu holy men, that had taken an oath of

silence, no one else in the world had known that a fifth

Veda had existed.

     Dru had claimed that during the summer of nineteen

forty-four, my uncle Karl and a dozen Black Blades, had been

in Nepal. And that they had traveled from village to village

in two bogus Red Cross medical trucks. And that they had not

only killed hundredths of innocent people. They had also

confiscated any village gold, silver, and precious religious

relics and artifacts, that they had found in their path.

     Dru had claimed that it had been at that time, that my

uncle Karl had discovered the existence of the sacred fifth

Veda. And had me licking my chops. I had wondered how and

where, my uncle had got his paws on the fifth Veda?

     Dru had read my mind again. She had told me that a

worthless sadhu, a holy man, in the Sacred Valley of Nepal,

had fallen to the way of the flesh. And that he had been the

despicable sadhu, that had told my uncle that the fifth Veda

had existed.
                                 LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 46

        Dru had claimed that the sadhu had told my uncle Karl

that the sacred fifth Veda had been big magic. And that my

uncle would be greatly rewarded by Hitler himself, if my

uncle had procured the fifth Veda.

        Dru had said that the sadhu had cried alligator tears,

when he had professed that he had been a poor man. And that

my uncle had promised to reward the sadhu with Nazi gold, if

the sadhu had revealed the hiding place of the sacred fifth


        Dru had claimed that the sadhu had done just that. And

that the sadhu had told my uncle that the fifth Veda was in

the Mohit village of Sarkar. And that the Veda had been

hidden inside the Ganesha altar, at the temple of Vishnu.

        I had figured that my uncle had probably dispatched his

finding to Himmler for military orders. And that Himmler in

turn, had passed my uncle’s info on to Hitler.

        I had been right! Dru had told me that when Hitler had

received my uncle’s info from Himmler, he had ordered my

uncle Karl to procure the sacred fifth Veda, and wipe the

entire Mohit village off the map.

        Dru had told me that my uncle, after he had received

the whereabouts of the fifth Veda, had killed the sadhu. And

had dumped the sadhu’s body into a Nepal sacrificial well.
                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 47

     Dru had claimed, that when my uncle Karl had received

the go-ahead from Himmler, he and the black blades had

immediately set out for the village of Mohit.

     Dru had said that uncle had arrived at the Mohit

village a day later. And that when my uncle had found the

Ganesha altar empty, he had been furious. And that my uncle

had ordered all his men to attach their long black bayonet

blade to their Mauser rifle.

     Dru had then claimed that the Nazi soldiers, under my

uncle’s orders, had rounded up all the men, women, and

children that had lived in village. And at gun point, had

herded them to my waiting uncle in the town square.

     Dru had said, that when my uncle Karl had all the

village people under his thumb, he had ordered the village

holy man Adarsh, to fork over the sacred fifth Veda.

     Dru had claimed, that when the holy man had refused to

surrender the fifth Veda, my uncle had personally begun

shooting the rounded up women and the children.

     Dru had said that the holy man had been stunned by my

uncle Karl’s insane cruelty. And that Adarsh, to save his

people from further execution, had immediately coughed up

the sacred fifth Veda.
                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 48

     Dru had said that when Adarsh had relinquished the

fifth Veda to my uncle, my uncle had ordered his men to kill

every living thing in the village. And that my uncle had

also ordered his men to burn the village to the ground.

     If what Dru had told me really had happened, and had

been true? And if Hitler really had the fifth Veda? I had

wondered at the time, why the hell the fuckin’ madman hadn’t

won the war? And I had asked Dru.

     Dru had told me that when my uncle Karl had gotten wind

of the fifth Veda’s incredible power, he had feared for his

ass and his soul.

     Dru had claimed that my uncle had snatched the fifth

Veda, right from under Hitler’s nose. And that a Nazi U-boat

had transported my uncle Karl to Montreal, Canada.

     I had always wondered why the hell my uncle Karl had

lived in Canada? And I had finally found out. I then had

asked Dru, the what happened next question?

     Dru had told me that when Hitler had discovered that

the sacred Veda had been pinched by my uncle, he had been

furious. And that Hitler, with a dozen of his Black

Blades, had scampered after my uncle.

     Dru had claimed that Hitler would’ve won the Second

World War, if he would’ve had the scared fifth Veda.
                                   LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 49

     That’s when Dru’s war story had blown a fuse. The only

place that Hitler had traveled to at the of the war, had

been to hell, not to Canada.

     Hitler and Eva Braun, in nineteen forty-five, had

committed suicide in his Berlin bunker. Everybody and their

granny had known that. And I had reminded dru of the fact.

     Dru had told me that Hitler’s suicide hadn’t been true.

She had claimed that Hitler had never died in Berlin. She

had said that Hitler had died from stomach cancer in

nineteen sixty four. And that the Black blade society had

buried Hitler’s body on their Montreal estate.

     I had wondered what the hell had happened of Hitler’s

sweetheart? And I had asked Dru.

     Dru had told me that Eva Braun had been an ancient old

fuck, and still kicking her heels in Munich, Germany.

     I had wondered, and had been really curious, if Hitler

had ever caught up with my uncle Karl? And I had asked Dru.

     Dru had told me that Hitler had never set eyes on my

uncle, or the sacred fifth Veda ever again.

     Dru had also proudly claimed, that she had killed my

uncle Karl in Montreal. And had boasted that my uncle’s head

had been hanging in Lord Krishna’s Temple in Panchala,

                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 50

     When I had heard Dru’s claim that she had zapped my

uncle Karl, I had dove in. And I had told the hard-nosed

bitch, that my uncle had died in car crash in Montreal, in

nineteen fifty-two.

     Then suddenly bango. Without any fuckin’ warning, and

at a blink of an eye. I had been sitting on my bed, in the

middle of a torch lighted, incense reeking granite block

temple chamber.

     I had been surrounded by dozens of ghastly male and

female dangling human heads. The severed hooked heads, had

been individually hanging from the chamber’s ceiling, on a

gold chain. Their repulsive pallid faces had expressed agony

and horror.

     The granite Hindu chamber had reminded me of an ancient

Egyptian burial tomb. The difference had been the wall art.

     The painted walls inside the Hindu chamber hadn’t

portrayed a glorious eternal afterlife. The walls had

depicted images of brutal punishment and pain. And explicit

scenes of physical sexual behavior, and pleasure.

     Dru had pointed at a terrifying male head with bulging

eyes and a tormented expression. And had told me that it was

my uncle Karl’s head. I had seen enough. And I had asked Dru

to please return me to my fuckin’ hospital room.
                                   LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 51

     Poof! At a blink of an eye, I had been back in my

hospital room. The Hindu chamber that I had witnessed, had

been a grotesque experience. The barbaric chamber had

brought back Vietnam war memories, that had taken me over a

decade to forget.

     My uncle Karl had been such a fuckin’ bad cat. I hadn’t

cared if Dru had hung his hairy balls on a cherry tree. For

the first time in my life, I had felt my father’s hurt.

     I had asked Dru why the hell she hadn’t payed Hitler a

visit in nineteen forty-five. I had told her that if she

had, she could’ve zapped Hitler, and grabbed the fifth Veda.

     Dru had claimed that she couldn’t alter, or break the

chain of history. She had told me that she could only

intervene, when and if, historical and legendary events had

reached their final destination!

     I had wondered what the hell that had meant? And then

had quickly realized, that Dru had my name checked off as

the fifth Veda’s final destination.

     My only way out of the fuckin’ mess that I had

inherited from my Nazi uncle and father, had been to bluff

the gotchies off the Hindu broad. I had also needed to find

out what exactly had been inside my father’s package?
                                   LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 52

        And! As if all that shit hadn’t been enough to keep me

B, as in busy. I had also needed a good two months to heal

up, and get back on my feet.

        Dru had surprisingly asked me, if I had planned to

honor her request, and paint her portrait?

        I had my big stall. Yup, had been my line of defense. I

had figured that if I had agreed to paint Dru’s portrait, it

would slow the babe down, and maybe even had curb her for

awhile. If I could do that, I’d have a chance save my

sagging artist’s ass.

        I had told Dru that I would love to paint her portrait,

but that I had a serious artistic dilemma.

        Dru had given me one of her piss on the floor blank

stares. And then had sweetly inquired what my problem had


        I had complained that I didn’t know who or what I was

suppose to paint a portrait off? Because I had never seen

what the hell she had really looked liked?

        Dru had winked, and had showed me. I had been knocked

out of my gourd. I couldn’t believe my fuckin’ eyes. I had

been aware that Hindu history buffs had claimed that

Draupadi had been extremely beautiful. And an unparalleled

beauty. They had all been fuckin’ right!
                                   LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 53

        Then suddenly bango! Without any fanfare or bye byes.

Every Goddamn thing had ended, and had vanished into thin

air! And I had been awakened by a high-pitched male voice,

that had repeatedly wished me joyous Diwali, and a Happy New


        When I had popped open my eyes. I had encountered the

smiling face of a short middle-aged Hindu man, dressed in a

blue pinstriped suit. Standing next to the smiling man at my

bedside, had been the young hospital social worker Rita,

nurse Eva, and two unfamiliar lovely female nurses.

        They had all been cheerfully telling me that I would

being home today, and wishing me a Happy New Year.

        I had been totally bewildered. And I had wondered what

the hell day it had been? And I had asked.

        A female voice had yelled out Wednesday. Another broad

had shouted out New Year’s Eve.

        I had wondered how the hell it could’ve been Wednesday?

Because only a few seconds ago, it had just been Sunday

morning. I had also wondered what the hell had happened to

Monday and Tuesday?

        The gaunt and friendly Hindu man, had introduced

himself. He had told me that his name had been Doctor Daman

                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 54

     I had been surprised, when Doctor Rajil had told that

he had been the surgeon that had performed my bypass


     I had assumed that my heart specialist Alex Young, had

been the surgeon. But I really hadn’t cared. My only concern

at the time, had been walking on of the joint on two feet.

     Doctor Rajil had told me that he had been really

pleased, and impressed by my fast recovery. And that he had

wanted me to swing by his office next week for a checkup. He

had told me to call his office on Friday, and make an


     Doctor Rajil had gently patted my swollen right hand,

attributed to the IV needle, and had smilingly told me to

enjoy my day. He then, along with the social worker, and two

of the three nurses, had again wished me a Happy New Year,

and had exited my room.

     The nurse left in my room, had been Eva. She had

informed me that the hospital had contacted my daughter

Annie. And that Annie would be picking me up, and taking me

home in about two hours.

     I had come alive, when Eva had told me that Annie would

be taking me home in a couple of hours. I had really needed

a change of scenery!
                                  LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 55

       Nurse Eva had told me how wonderful she had thought

that I had been doing. And then had insisted that I be a

good little boy, and eat all the breakfast on my bed table.

       She had told me that if I did, she would help me to

wash up and get dressed to go home. As if the patronizing

kraut really had a fuckin’ choice.

       I had been tempted to tell the good-looking kraut, to

throw a blowjob in her deal! But I had chickened out, and

instead had asked nurse Eva, where the hell my dress clothes

had been hiding?

       Nurse Eva had told me that my clothes were in my duffel

bag under my bed. I had then asked Eva if she knew a nurse

named Dru Montez?

       Eva had just about floored me. She had claimed that she

had just been talking with Dru an hour ago, and had asked me

why?    I had told Eva that I had been just curious, because I

had met nurse Dru on Sunday.

       Eva had claimed that Dru had worked at the hospital for

over three years. And then had asked me if I would like to

see Dru?    When I had shrugged okay. Eva had immediately

called the floor’s front desk, and had asked a chick named

Amy, to send nurse Montez to my room.
                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 56

     Then Eva, for the millionth time, had told me to eat my

breakfast. And had told that she had to leave to help

another patient. She actually had made me feel jealous.

     Eva had promised to return in about a half an hour, and

had swayed her bubble ass out of my room.

     I honestly have admit. I had really wanted to see the

nutty Hindu broad again. I had needed to know, if the broad

really had existed, or if she had just been a wacky dream?

     I had hoped that Dru had been just a fuckin’ dream. The

man upstairs had dealt me a second life, and I had wanted to

do something positive it. Not fuckin’ fear for it!

     About fifteen minutes later, a chubby Hispanic broad

with a bad attitude, had entered my room. And had nastily

asked me, with a don’t expect me to help you attitude, what

the hell I had wanted?

     I had told the chubby melon-breasted Latina to stop

fuckin’ with me. And to get her fat ass back into Hindu


     The Hispanic nurse had become outraged from what I had

mouthed! And had loudly told me that she going to report my

bad behavior to the hospital authorities. She had then foul-

mouthed me in Spanish, and had dashed out of my room.
                                  LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 57

     About twenty minutes later, nurse Eva had returned to

my room with a metal wheelchair. And had helped me to clean

up, and get dressed to go home.

     The whole Goddamn civilizing ceremony, because I had

been a fuckin’ cripple, had taken us over an hour. I swear

to God. The time it had taken me to wash myself in my

bathroom shower, a physically normal guy could’ve washed a

fuckin’ city bus.

     When the kraut and I had finally finished dolling me

up. I had been dressed in the same clothes that I had wore

when I had entered the hospital. Which had been dark gray

cotton slacks, a black cotton polo shirt, and black shoe-


     When I had seen myself in the mirror, I had thought

that I had looked pretty Goddamn good.

     Then Nurse Eva, behaving more like my mother, than a

hospital nurse, had put her maternal instincts to work, and

had helped me to sit my ass on the wheelchair. And had then

quickly adjusted the wheelchair’s metal foot rests.

     Nurse Eva had then grabbed a green plastic bag from out

of the wheelchair’s utility bag. And had hurriedly grabbed

and put, all the hospital crap that I was suppose to take

home with me, inside the bag.
                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 58

     When Eva had finished filling and closing my take home

bag, she had tossed the bag on the hospital bed, and had

given me a big wide happy smile. She had then patted my

right shoulder, and had wished me a Happy New Year.

     Nurse Eva then, just before she had existed my room and

my life forever, had softly said to me, auf wiedersehen.

     Time had dragged! What had seemed like hours, ended up

being only about twenty minutes. My eyes had been closed,

when I had heard my daughter Annie wish me a good morning.

     Just before I had opened my eyes, I had thought that I

had smelled the scent of blue-lotus. And for a brief second,

I had thought that Dru had been impersonating my daughter?

     I had asked Annie what perfume she had on? She had told

me that her body scent had been from a new lotus essence

bath oil that she had decided tryout. And had asked me why?

     I had told Annie that I had liked the fragrance. She

had claimed that she had liked it too.

     Annie had been dressed in the same clothes that she had

been wearing on the day of my bypass operation. And had

happily remarked that she had been glad to see that I had

been back to normal. She had claimed that everyone for the

last five days had been shitting bullets. And that everyone,

including herself, had been worried sick about me.
                                  LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 59

     I hadn’t slightest idea as to what the hell Annie had

been talking about? I had thought that everything had been

running smoothly for me in the hospital.

     I had asked Annie what the hell everybody had been so

worried about?

     Annie had freaked me out. She had told that I had been

out cold -- in a coma for five days. I had immediately asked

Annie to tell me what the hell had happened.

     Annie had told me that during the afternoon on the day

that I had surgery, the hospital had called her, and had

told her that I had been running a high fever. She said that

the hospital had called her back a few hours later, and had

told her that I had slipped into a coma.

     Believe it or not, I had been happy and glad, to hear

that I had been in a coma. My coma had clearly explained the

ridicules encounter that I had with the daffy Hindu broad.

Dru hadn’t been a real person after all. The Hindu broad had

only been fuckin’ fever dream. And that had been good news

to my ears!

     I had asked Annie what our plans were? She had told me

that she had wanted me to stay at her joint for a week. And

had said that she had taken a week off from work, so she

could be around to help me out.
                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 60

     Annie’s plan had sounded good to me! And I had told her

so. Then Annie had made her plan sound even better. She had

told me that she had purchased a few of the new blu-ray

movie releases at Walmart. And that she had been looking

forward to watching the NFL football playoffs with me.

     I had always been a football freak. I had seen my first

pro football game, when I had been ten years old, at

Chicago’s Wrigley field. The game at the time, had been

between the Chicago Bears, and the Los Angeles Rams.

     All I can recall about that December football game, had

been freezing weather conditions, and the movie star Jane


     Russell had been was sitting on the rams’ sideline

bench. She had been bundled up like an Eskimo, and had been

watching her hubby Bob Waterfield, quarterback the Rams.

     Despite the fact that I had been only ten years old at

the time. I had thought that Bob Waterfield had been one

lucky son of a bitch.

     I had been a Chicago high school football halfback for

four years. After that, I had completely lost interest in

playing the game. My mind had become absorbed with a desire

to create art. And I had decided that I had wanted to become

a full-time professional artist, and paint pictures.
                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 61

     Annie had told me that she had been glad that I was

leaving the hospital, because of all the crazy shit that had

been going on in the joint.

     I had asked Annie what kind of crazy shit? Annie had

told me that two old geezers on the hospital’s second floor,

had been murdered in their bed on the previous night. My

first thought at the time had been, that the murder’s were

probably mercy killings!

     Annie had told me that the hospital parking lot and the

front lobby, had been swarming with police and the FBI. She

had claimed that it had taken her over an hour to go through


     I had asked Annie what she had heard about the murders,

while she was twiddling her thumbs in the security line?

     Annie had told me that she had heard that both murdered

men were in their eighties. And that one of the old geezers

had been a Hindu, and the other old guy a German.

     Annie had made a sour face, when she had told me that a

nurse had told her, that both of bodies had been badly

dehydrated. And that the men had resembled a dried prune.

     The big surprise was when Annie had told me that both

men had been missing their fuckin’ head. And that the police

and the hospital security, hadn’t found the heads.
                                   LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 62

     The gruesome physical condition of the bodies, and the

missing heads, had wiped out my mercy killing theory. But it

had in no way, as temping as it had been, had prompted me to

believe that Dru might-have-been the assassin.

     In my mind. I had resolved that Dru hadn’t been a real

person. And that she had simply been a fever dream. I had

suspected at the time, that the two hospital murders had

probably been the dirty work of the local mafia.

     But I still had nagging doubts and suspicions. Because

of the macabre physical condition of the bodies, their age,

and their nationalities.

     There had been a good chance, because of their age,

that both murdered men had been players in second World War.

And in someway or somehow, they had both been connected to

the legendary sacred fifth Veda.

     If Dru had really been a bona fide actual person, and

not a fever dream. Her mission at the hospital would’ve been

to assassinate the two old farts. If so. I bet her fuckin’

jaw had dropped open, when she had accidentally and

unexpectedly, had encountered me.

     Annie had put my duffle bag on my lap. And had told me

that I had needed to sign a hospital release form, in order

to get out of the joint.
                                  LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 63

       Annie had also told me, that my doctor’s prescriptions

had been waiting for us at the front desk. And that we had

needed to get my prescriptions filled on the way to her

joint, because the drug stores would be closed New Year’s


       I didn’t want to be without painkillers. I had

experimented one afternoon, and had discontinued taking the

little fuckers. It had been big mistake. The physical pain a

few hours later, had been excruciating.

       Just as Annie had begun to push my wheelchair to my

room’s open doorway, I had noticed my bulging green take

home bag on the bed. And I had asked Annie to grab it for

me. She had done just that. And had placed the bulging bag

on the top of my duffel bag.

       Annie had asked me what had been inside bag? I had told

her my room’s hospital crap, that nurse Eva had given me to

take home.

       All right! Okay! Annie and I had departed the hospital,

we had my doctor’s prescriptions filled, and we ended up at

her joint.

       As for nurse Dru, and the sacred fifth Veda? They

hadn’t existed. They had both been a fever dream. Or at

least I had fuckin’ thought so?
                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 64

     I had truly believed. That all of the crazy Hindu shit

that had occurred, and that I had been involved in at

hospital, had been the result of drugs, and a high body

temperature. And that my subconscious had released my inner

thoughts and experiences. And that they had been reshuffled,

and had reappeared as a frightening, and a disjointed

surrealistic Salvador Dali vision.

     When I had returned to my room in Westminster, on the

second Friday after the new year. It had been lightly

raining out, and about ten o’clock in the evening.

     The neighborhood had earlier been hit by a thunder

storm, that had knocked out the area lights and electric.

     The house that I had lived in, had been pitch black and

people less. Which hadn’t been unusual. because it had been

a Friday night, and everyone had been out somewhere getting


     After I had lighted my three fat beeswax candles that

had been standing on my room’s computer table. I had then

stumbled my way through the darkness of interior, to the

house refrigerator, and had swiped a can of diet Pepsi.

     When I had returned to my room, I had noticed a curious

looking stained brown Kraft envelope. It had been mixed in

with the unopened mail on my computer table.
                                  LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 65

       My full name had been scribbled on the front of the

envelope with a red ink. The name that had been hand written

on the back of the stained brown envelope had been John

Peabody, Lima Peru.

       I had been familiar with the name. Peabody had been a

world famous Smithsonian archeologist.

       What had been wacky. Was that Peabody had been dead

since the late nineteenth century. He had disappeared during

a South American expedition, in the Amazonas Region of

Northern Peru. And he had been written off by everybody, as

officially dead.

       The date of the postmark on the envelop, had only been

a month old. And I had wondered what the hell had been going

on? I had also wondered if some asshole had been trying to

get my goat, and had been playing games with me?

       I currently had been feeling extremely tired and very

weak. In fact, I had felt so physical exhausted, that I had

decided to get some shuteye, and wait until morning to open

the envelope.

       So I had pushed all the crap that I had thrown on my

bed cot, onto the floor. When my hospital take home bag had

hit my room’s wood floor, some of the inside shit had popped

                                LANE / THE LONELY NURSE / 66

     I swear to God! I had been freaked out, when I had seen

Dru’s gold whiskey flask laying on my room’s wood floor.

     I had vividly remembered seeing Dru, after she had

drank some whiskey, stand her gold flask on the floor, next

to my hospital bed.

     Nurse Eva must’ve found the flask laying under my

hospital bed. And thinking that the damn thing had belonged

to me, she had put the gold flask into my take home bag.

     Anyhow! It’s now a year later, a fraction of a second

in Dru’s freaky world. And I’m still waiting for the broad

to show her Hindu ass, and take back her gold flask.

     I’m sure that Dru had still believed that I had the

sacred fifth Veda in my possession, and that I had also been

the guy that had swiped her Krishna gold medallion.

     I still to date. Hadn’t opened the envelope that I had

received from John Peabody, or the package that my father

had given to me. My best guess as to what’s inside my

father’s package, is my dad’s postage stamp collection. My

dad had been an avid stamp collector. He had collected, for

as long as I can remember, American and Vatican City postage


                          - END -