SANET MERRYS COLLAGE OF CANTALOPES INSIDE NEWS: Real facts and sto- ries now included! SPORTS: If it’s not basket- ball, it’s not news www.smcclolegian.com Moo-aga, Cahlifohnia Funday, April 1, 2011 Volume CVIII, Number 22 Third Batman to be filmed on campus Saint Mary’s College voted Controversial filming to start as early as April 1st #3 party school by Gladys Ferrydale Life of the Party For the fifth consecutive year, Saint Mary’s has appeared on the Princeton Review’s list of top 20 party schools, topping the lists of “don’t inhale,” “reefer madness,” “lots of hard liquor,” and “lots of beer.” Students were not surprised — one stated, “I never leave Saint Mary’s on the weekends, why would I want to? We party every night!” With the campus littered with red SOLO cups and broken handles, the evidence of a school that studies hard and parties harder is undeniable. Not every student is pleased with this rating, especially one student (who wishes to remain anonymous), who stated, “Saint Mary’s students have gone too far; people hear that I go to Saint Mary’s and automati- cally assume I’m a huge partier! We have a horrible reputation, and I’m tired of not being able to find parking Thursday-Friday because of all the UC Berkley and San Francisco State kids coming here to party.” Campus Police are fed up too, and have recently doubled their force in or- der to come down hard on party-goers. Mandatory drunk driving check-points on campus will come into effect as of Courtesy of judydickey.com, screenrant.com, emporer-penguin.com, and SOMEONE!!! April 15th, as well as the power for Batman: The Dark Knight Rises will be filmed at the College; one Brother ihopes to play the part of the penguin in the upcoming film. a Resident Advisor to conduct room checks without reason, warning, or by Owen “Mistake Master” Wilson ‘sellout-opening-weekend’ kind. for this production,” he said in a biggest grossing movie of all time. student’s presence. Another way the Loyal Kings Fan Saint Mary’s found out last statement, “and we think Saint We jumped at the opportunity school is attempting to combat this week that it will, in fact, play Mary’s offers exactly what we’re to let them film the next movie “bad reputation” is by no longer of- Look out, Gaels – along with a big role in the filming of the looking for in terms of setting.” here… if we can get our name fering sodas or juices in the cafeteria, the albino raccoon and the gener- next Batman movie – The Dark “This is a great honor to our on the side of this cash cow, the claiming students were taking large al collection of deer and turkeys, Knight Rising. According to the school,” said Associate Dean high schoolers will be dying to amounts from the cafeteria for “chas- the lovely halls of Saint Mary’s film’s producer, Festus Weimen- of Film Productions Anthony come here!” ers” and drink-mixing. will soon be infested by bats. schweimer, “At least half ” the Wheeler. “I mean, did you guys Information about the script The administration declined to And not the peaceful, fruit movie will be filmed on campus. see that last one they made? It eating kind – the Christian Bale “We looked at a lot of schools was bloody brilliant, and it’s the see PENGUINZ, p543 see REDCUPS, p542 Saint Mary’s prepares for the (Rebecca) Black Plague Rebecca Black tops 2011 Gaelapalooza performers list, along with O-Town, Vanessa Hudgens of March 26, the video had over becca Black. We felt by Stewart Fupperstone 54 million views. Since then, that she could re- YouTube Critic Black was interviewed by Rolling ally make the event Stone magazine, and performed a success with her Campus Activities Board has on ABC’s Good Morning America. amazing new song been hard at work planning this Her tantalizing lyrics which go and inspirational year’s Gaelapalooza, and has an- through the days of the week, lyrics.” nounced the first performer. You- and the use of repetition in the Gaelapalooza, Tube sensation Rebecca Black is song had listeners so in love with an outdoor con- slated to perform at Gaelapalooza the song, that they purchased it cert and barbeque, on Saturday, May 11. for 99 cents in the iTunes store, is later this spring Thirteen-year-old Rebecca where it is currently the 28th most on May 11. Other Black from Anaheim Hills, Cali- purchased song. performers include fornia, was signed to ARK Music Campus Activities Board is boy band O-Town, Factory in late 2010. On February excited for Rebecca Black to come Tay Zonday, known 10, 2011, the music video for her and perform later this spring. for his hit “Choc- first single “Friday” was released Reuben Greenwald, Advisor to olate Rain,” and onto YouTube by her label. After the Campus Activities Board, says, Vanessa Hudgens, being featured on the television “Rebecca Black is the next big who starred in Courtesy of Youtube.com show Tosh.0, Black’s music video thing! I know talent when I see it Disney Channel’s launched her into stardom and as and I couldn’t pass up booking Re- High School Musical. Rebecca Black, doing her best to kill the music industry, will be performing at Gaelapalooza OPINION DETOUR News pg. 1 Crimez pg. 2 Opinion pg. 4 Complaint Corner pg. 4 We hate everything you love No longer just photos! Detour pg. 6 Cool Movies pg. 6 pg. 667 pg. 974 Sports pg. 7 Playa of the Week pg. 7 542 I Funday, April 1, 2010 The Collegian the dish SnapShot REDCUPS: Campus removes juice from cafeteria continued from page 0001 comment on whether or not they believed the over 35 percent in- crease in freshmen applications for the 2011-2012 academic school year was due in part to the partying nature of the school. We’ll take that as a “yes.” le collégien Saint Mary’s College of California 2008 Winner Associate Collegiate Press BEST PAPER EVAR P.O. Box 4407 Moraga, CA 94575 223 Ferroggiaro Hall Telephone: 925.631.4279 Fax: 925.631.4675 E-mail: email@example.com Website: www.smccollegian.com Courtesy of bu.edu Courtesy of godzillahaiku.tumblr.com LEO DICAPRIO OWEN WILSON Do yuo like correcting spelling errours? At Gates open Masters of the Minions The Collegian, we are definutely in kneed to madness V ‘BIG BUCKS’ RUDDI- Students to explore a CLOUS of an edditing staf that can functionably new world: catacombs Money Master work in a teamwork-esque enviornment by Virgilio Campagnone Star DR.BOX Mistake Sniper and bee willing to put up with long, run- Facilities Services at Saint Mary’s College of California has now of- SHAW SHAW on sentenses that may or not make any ficially deemed the catacombs safe for students to explore at their leisure. AdminProf coherent cents. Enthusiastic Integral student An- thony Gotti says he will take ad- MR.CLEAN vantage of this opportunity the first Crime Beat Oregon’s great white hope chance he gets. “I’ve been searching for a new place for personal reflection ASH KETCHUM and I feel this dark and dreary place Senior Yoga Instructor might be the ideal location for me. Broken hopes 11:40 a.m. It’s sad cause it’s true 13:01 a.m. pears; referred to Collegian Office. It will most certainly help with my NO, A SHARK Creep creep Incident: Crime Beat Fail Incident: Not scoring points. Too many trees 3:45 p.m. Edgar Allen Poe thesis assignment.” Synopsis: Student reads Collegian Synopsis: Gaels basketball mojo Incident: Creep creep! Some school administrators have TELLAPORTER to see if he made the crimebeat, stolen in San Diego - recovered; Synopsis: News Editor, Assistant scoffed at the idea that students will BROCKNESS MONSTER finds he hasn’t, then breaks a referred to Randy Bennett. News Editor, and Chief Copy Edi- simply be “hanging out” in previ- 1st Amendment Enforcers window to fulfill lifelong dream; tor get lost at swamp; referred to ously restricted areas underground. referred to Residence Life. SOOOOOO BAD 6:00 p.m. Creep Committee. However, due to the power that MASTER OF WEBS Incident: Inexplicable event. Facilities Services possesses on this THE YANKEE FAN That’s why it’s funny 11:42 a.m. Synopsis: Staff offers prizes but It actually is. 2:23 a.m. campus, school administrators (in- Fighting Bipartasianship Incident: Student handbook viola- then forgets; referred to Staff Incident: Dictionary fail. cluding the president) cannot over- tion. Writers. Synopsis: Collegian receives letter rule the decision. THE QUIET ONE Synopsis: Cow found on third that ‘functionable’ is not a word; Facilities Services has assured the Done already?! floor of Augustine; referred to A smorgasbord of excellence referred to Language Arts Depart- Saint Mary’s community that they Animal Services. 12:19 a.m. ment. have removed the entire flea popula- FINALLY A SPORTS GUY Incident: Student handbook viola- tion from the catacombs and will be Holy hell, they do still exsist You go here? 10:00 a.m. tion. Dirty 5:33 p.m. opening the underground space this Incident: Lack of knowledge Synopsis: Cohabitation again. Incident: Welfare check. coming Friday, April 1. Synopsis: Student believes every And again. And again; referred to Synopsis: Dirty dishes left in sink Director of Pest Removal, Artie article in April Fools Edition; Tiger Woods. for days, student goes insane; re- Comoletti, says that he made as referred to Lafayette Elementary ferred to Community Life. sure as possible that each individual The Collegian is the one School. Oops! 7:40 a.m. flea was removed from the premises and only student-run publica- Incident: Improper grammar. Beep beep 1:12 a.m. by his own doing. “Removing each tion of Saint Mary’s College Where’s Gorby? 11:25 a.m. Synopsis: People using student’s Incident: Fire alarm. individual flea was no easy task but I of California. When we aren’t Incident: Improper behavior. bald head as mirror in Ageno B; Synopsis: Again?! must say that it was worth the effort; spending time editing articles, Synopsis: Photographer forgets referred to Hairdresser. the students will love it down here!” hunting down stories - or writ- half of events; referred to SIL. Spalding Abuse 12:19 a.m. Because of this new policy ad- ers - we enjoy long walks on Don’t touch him! 8:19 p.m. Incident: Damage to basketball ministered on campus, the Board of the beach, Crocs, and the oc- Place your bet$ 7:35 p.m. Incident: Illegal touching court. Trustees has decided to no longer casional Mai-Tai. Incident: Entrepreneurship. Synopsis: Saint Mary’s basketball Synopsis: Damage to backboard support the College. “We can’t sup- If you are interested in join- Synopsis: Student found gambling players’ personal space com- during basketball game, ball port a school in which students are ing our merry band of editors, in Mitty hall, makes more money promised by Kent State players; thrown repeatedly; referred to freely allowed to engage in foul play,” stop by our office in the un- than school; referred to Business referred to Women’s Resource Physical Plant. says Harland Kornfield, “I simply prouncable hall that starts with Office. Center. cannot remain supportive of this an F, sometime at reasonable Too many trees 12:19 a.m. unsafe institution.” hours, because otherwise one of Rumble in the Jungle 10:28 p.m. Wasps, wasps 12:19 a.m. Incident: Its late. Saint Mary’s must now look else- us might be sleeping in here and Incident: Earthquake! Incident: We belong together. Synopsis: News Editor, Co-Editor- where for monetary support and is you don’t want to see us when Synopsis: Students found in bun- Synopsis: Co-Editor-in-Chief says in-Chief, Assistant Opinion Editor, unsure at press time whether or not we’re cranky. ker fleeing Japanese radiation; “Mariah Carey” three times in Chief Copy Editor stay too late, lose sufficient funds will be available for referred to Common Sense. bathroom, former News Editor ap- minds; referred to Health Services. the next academic term. Funday, April 1, 2010 I 543 The Collegian newz College finds solution to feral cat problem College Campus will introduce feral dogs to combat feral cats at Saint Mary’s by Poeda Denver lation goes unchecked, we will then get spayed or neutered. mane and downright cartoonish. legalizes marijuana Dog Whisperer soon be overrun with the fur- While dog people throughout It has students wondering how balls. Searching for a solution for the community are thrilled by many Looney Toons the adminis- Whenever I leave Saint Mary’s this problem, some faculty have the opportunity to see man’s best trations have been watching. for a long time, there’s something said that the school Along with the Campus reacts to about campus that I always forget: the cats. I’ll be walking around should work to get rid of all the cats. Others cruel reality of this complaints about plan, it seems that campus on the first day of classes have said that simply the nature of the dogs justice system when suddenly something brown spaying and neuter- has not been taken and furry runs out of the bushes, ing them will suffice. into account. Feral by Hugh Wecklehoff reminding me of the dozens of There’s no need to cats are one thing; Cannabis Specialist feral felines that call Saint Mary’s remove them from they’re little and tend College home. their homes. to avoid humans. But In a stunning reversal of The cats have become an inside However, a solu- unless Chihuahua’s previous verdicts and presump- joke for the Gael community. tion has finally been are going to be re- tions, Public Safety’s Director of Anyone who’s spent more than an decided on by the leased, dogs are big- Drugs and the Assistant Dean hour on campus has seen one, and school’s administra- ger, like to travel in of Intoxicated Students today they’re everywhere. There’s even tors: feral dogs. packs and tend to officially concluded that mari- an urban legend involving dead Ye s, b e g i n n i n g interact with people a juana should be legal on campus. cats in the catacombs. In short, this summer, doz- great deal more than Yes, in reaction to the public they permeate Saint Mary’s cul- ens of feral dogs will cats. What will Saint outcry following a harrowing ture. But are the feral campus cats be released into the Mary’s do if roving story of the sham justice system to become something of the past? school’s ecosystem Courtesy of patdollard.com packs of feral dogs employed at Saint Mary’s, the In recent years there has been to cut down on the get out of control and faculty, the students and even the widespread debate amongst the cat population. Thus, start becoming a nuisance to the Christian Brothers have decided faculty about what should be the cat population will be curbed friend on campus, not all people school? Bring in mountain lions? to enact new legislation and done in regards to the cats. It’s through natural selection – only are thrilled with this solution. The Wait no, never mind. I don’t want promote the general well-being no question that if the cat popu- the strongest will survive, and plan has been called cruel, inhu- to give anyone ideas. of the school. “We stand here today, encour- Wanna Get Away? Best Spring Break Spots aged by the words and heroic bravery of a student who was tortured and wrongfully pros- Forget Cabo San Lucas or the Caribbean - these are the real party places ecuted, with spring in the air and smoke in our lungs,” said the saying, “This is just too nice for Just because we go to Saint Assistant Dean of Intoxicated by Sid Bottolsfold spring break?” If so, then Alaska Mary’s doesn’t mean the home World Traveler Students this week following is certainly the best place for you! of the Broncos isn’t a great place the announcement. “Who knew With its frigid temperatures reach- to visit! At any rate, visiting the this stuff just grows that way? With spring break quickly ing nearly 60 degrees below zero campus is a great opportunity to Why would anyone declare this approaching, students at Saint and often gloomy weather, this extend the olive branch of friend- illegal?” The declaration comes Mary’s College may be wondering spring break cold spot will have ship to our division rivals and just weeks before Gaelapalooza, about the most fun place to spend a you saying, “Cabo San what?” become best of friends! Courtesy of math.stmarys-ca.edu known as the East Bay’s ‘Week- week of no schoolwork or classes. Who knows, you may even have Wait… haven’t all of the other 1. Spokane, WA and Gonzaga end of Weed’. Excited students It is often the case that tropical lo- the opportunity to go wolverine students gone home? Of course University welcomed the news with signa- cales appear to be the most popular hunting with such famed Alaskans they have; but that doesn’t mean ture joints rolled in paper printed places to frequent as these often as Sarah Palin! you can’t enjoy spending an entire with the school colors. serve as ways to escape the every- 4. The Overlook Hotel week in your residence hall by Sophomore Mike Hunt said, day life of Moraga. Fortunately “Redrum! Redrum!” If anyone yourself! We are all familiar with “Wow, dude, just slow down, for you, dear reader, your friends the campus and its various nu- seriously I’m way too baked to at the Collegian have come up with ances, the most prominent of them go outside right now.” A fitting a list of “hot” spring break locales being that there is no access to the reaction to the end of century for you to spend your much needed cafeteria during the break. We long abuses by authority figures week of rest and relaxation! couldn’t imagine a better time than looking to validate their thinning 5. Alaska walking to and from Safeway each hair and sterility. Integral major Have places like Cabo San day to purchase meals! After all, Courtesy of city-data.com Joseph Left quoted Panphillius why not use spring break to get in of Thebes. “Just smoke it bro, great shape all by your lonesome! That’s right, we said it! Not Courtesy of unrealaudio.net and then smoke more,” the 2. Santa Clara University only is Spokane a beautiful city ancient Greek philosopher and has ever seen the film “The Shin- to visit - and it has absolutely SO favorite of the Pro-legalization ing” and found it simply delightful, many fantastical adventures and movement allegedly said in 350 you have most certainly found magical places to explore - Gon- B.C. your ideal spring break spot! Iso- zaga University is a most excellent This announcement comes on lation, frigidity, and a giant hedge school in its own right. We here at the heels of a report published maze abound in this famous hotel the Collegian believe it is our duty by the National Institutes of nestled deep within the icy moun- to end the bad blood between the Health; a government organiza- Courtesy of freakingnews.com tains of Colorado. Gaels and the Bulldogs. So let’s tion that administers medical 3. Saint Mary’s College of join hands with our fellow WCC policies of the United States. Lucas and the Caribbean left you California Courtesy of instruct.westvalley.edu member and sing ‘Kumbaya’. The report confirmed that there is no negative effect of smoking PENGUINZ: Brother Raphael to play the penguin in upcoming Batman film marijuana or cannabis, and the active element in the plant may continued from page 0001 contain anti-oxidants that help and Saint Mary’s role in the crowd. enthusiasm. Sheila Killjoy, a publicity!” battle cancer. film are scarce, but one source, One source close to the Saint sophomore philosophy major, A disgruntled security guard “This is a major victory for who wished to remain anony- Mary’s Administration Staff says gathered a group of students to at the guard post at the front of those of us who have been bent mous, said that that the next film that while the whole board ap- protest on the chapel lawn. “We his school scratched his head at over and gagged by the disciplin- “seeked to get away from the dark, proves of the movie being filmed didn’t pay money to come to the news. “You can barely get a ary squad,” A junior who wished ominous streets of Gothiam and on campus, some of the Brothers school only to have people pay normal car around school on these to remain anonymous observed. give Batman a more peaceful, “are really hoping the film crew attention to stuff like this!” she roads,” he said. “How in the world “I only hope 4/20 this year is remote and saintly place to beat will be open to letting some of said. “First people get excited do they think they’ll find parking legendary.” Yes, the world is a up baddies and blow things up.” the administration staff take roles. about sports, and now this? What for the freaking Batmobile?” little safer today than yesterday, Rumors continue to fly about Brother Raphael is particularly happened to people paying atten- Students who are interested in and our campus will be a little the villains in the next flick, but adamant that he wants them to tion to my protests?” Another playing extra roles or getting a greener tomorrow than today. most say that the producers have change the villain because he student, who shied away when position on the set are encouraged chosen the lesser-known character wants to play the part as The asked her name, said only “I to apply and should come by the ‘Bane’ to appeal to the super- Penguin.” paid good money to come to a Collegian Office on the second Happy April Fool’s! nerdy crowd and Catwoman to Some of the students, however, school where nothing happens. floor of Ferroggiaro at any time appeal to the teenage hormone did not view the news with much Damn the school for trying to get for a photo shoot. It’s April Fools Day, Fools! 1387 spurts Funday, April 1, 2009 Go Gaels! Senior Phil Benson declares for NBA draft Saint Mary’s Expected to be selected as #2 pick behind Jimmer Freddette to cancel In- by Gerogey Porgey tegral Pro- The Next Sports Star gram Redshirt Senior Phil Benson ended his career at Saint Mary’s Cites lack of inter- as one of the top big men to come out of the school. The 6’8’’ est, Seminar may- transfer from Canisius College has dominated the WCC with his be out as well inside-outside threat of scoring at will. The Arizona native had by Plytadius Argonomis a stellar final season for the Senior Stick Editor Gaels by averaging 0.6 points per Saint Mary’s announced last game, 0.1 assists, 0.5 rebounds week that it was cutting the Inte- and 0.1 blocks, but none of the gral major and is seriously consid- stats reflect the show he puts on ering doing away with its seminar during warm-ups with his crowd- program, citing “exceptionally pleasing acrobatic windmill and little interest in the programs”, ac- 360 dunks. cording to Associate Dean of His most memorable action of Timewasting Maria Yakayaka. the season took place at Spokane “Over the past few years, so few versus Gonzaga where he put students have decided to become the team on his back and led the integral majors,” Yakayaka said. Gaels to a 73-71 road victory. “No one is seriously interested His dominating defense against in taking Greek or talking about seven-foot Zag center Robert studying the freaking stars, or Sacre, proved he is among the reading Don Quixote that slowly. elite. It’s just a waste of time and money Junior teammate Rob Jones to keep pouring our focus into a states that “all the time Phil program that doesn’t produce re- has put in hours practicing, he sults or interest.” has outstanding upside with Saint Mary’s has long held the his athletic ability and court Integral Major and the Seminar awareness.” This upside was program as pillars of the educa- proven in his best performance tional excellence of the program, statistic-wise in a 121-52 victory Courtesy of philthyblog.com but a serious decrease in partici- over Chicago State where he Graduating senior forward/center Phil Benson is seriously the best sport ever. pation in the integral program is scored a impressive 4 points and fans up to date on his life and Benson has often been more confidence and swagger to cause for concern - however, the grabbed 2 boards. basketball season, and on average compared to Ohio State center, move onto the next level.” mathematics of the decrease Outside the court, Phil is receives about a half-million hits Jared Sullinger. Jones explains, All eyes will now be focused would only make sense if you took described as a “class act” and uses per week. The blog is not only “Well, physically they are the on June 23 in New York a Integral class and understood the a lot of his time working on his popular among the Saint Mary’s same player, but Phil is a fifth where Benson hopes to shake Euclidian propositions. And since online blog titled, “Philthyblog.” community but among college year senior coming off multiple commissioner David Sterns’ you obviously aren’t that cool, I’m This is where he keeps his basketball fans all over the world. injuries, so I believe that he has hand as a top 10 pick. not even going to bother explain- ing it to you. Collegian editors pleased by massive salary hikes Needless to say, some students are rejoicing. “Finally!” said one disgruntled Philosophy student. Editorial staff makes plans retreat on moon, no longer accepting applications “Integral is just a hyped up ver- individuals, the financial assurance tional sense, and rake in the dough well as working on their tans. “I’ve sion of the Philosophy major with by Sir Talks-A-Lot more credit and just as little work. Spell-Checker-in-Chief comes not a moment too soon, as they always knew they deserved. enjoyed exotic tanning locations belabored editors were heard just In what is likely to become the all across the globe, and it’s about I mean, come on! Our major was In an historical moment last last week holding group therapy most extravagant executive staff re- time I enjoyed one that was literally the one that coined getting grades week, the Collegian staff was sessions to discuss the massive treat in school history, the Collegianout of this world,” said Assistant and college credit without any informed that they would be News Edi- serious work, and yet they’re the receiving much more financial tor Jeannine ones getting all the attention!” endowment than years previous, Abusharkh. Said a junior English major, “It and that they will be permitted In related is impossible for me to pontificate to direct all that money into their news, the Col- my gratification at the school’s salaries. The alleged number is legian would obvious abundance of common in the trillions, but exact figures like to an- sense. The integral major is noth- have yet to be determined. “This nounce that ing more than an otiose waste of is a momentous occasion. We they will no human breath. Now, excuse me, are thrilled to be able to finally be longer be ac- I have to go compose a 12 pager acknowledged for the important cepting appli- on why Hamlet was hot for his work we do on campus. We look cations for the mother.” forward to our moon landing coming school One alumni is furious, say- retreat and are excited to spend year, and will ing in a letter to the college “If I our money on lavish gifts for instead keep was forced to read all those damn one another,” remarked Bryant all positions books, you best be making these West, co-Editor-in-Chief. Even to themselves. young whipper snappers do it as photographer Max Crowell, Far from uti- well!” the replacement of legendary lizing a hiring Current Integral students could photographer extraordinaire freeze, the Col- not be reached, as they all hang Gorby Lingad, is jumping for legian merely out in mass and are never seen joy, saying “I never thought that decided they without the others of their kind. I would surpass Phil Knight in will enact their Announcements about the con- net worth so quickly. Don’t get tinuation of the seminar program Ash Ketchum/COLLEGIAN selfish clause me wrong, I always knew I’d be Collegian editors prepare for their impending retreat to the moon. of the consti- are expected sometime this week, Oregon’s richest entrepreneur, I tution, citing but one source said “the seminar just never dreamed it would happen amount of work for little pay they staff seeks to travel to the moon in the precepts regarding greed and program is as boring as a Jane so soon.” experience. This unselfish bunch is the fall of 2011, and is looking for- self-inflation as motivation for this Austin novel. Who wants to talk For a team of highly respected finally able to go green in the tradi- ward to collecting soil samples as new course of action. about books anymore?” Saint Mary’s College of California INSIDE NEWS: Provost issues state- ment on Blueprint SPORTS: Gaels baseball w w w . s m c c o l l e g i a n . c o m sweeps New Orleans Moraga, California Tuesday, March 29, 2011 Volume 108, Number 22 Community takes part in self-defense workshop Panel discusses peace in Women’s Resource Center educates about violence prevention Palestine, Israel by Angela Sterling Contributing Writer by Jeannine Abusharkh This past Tuesday in the Wom- Assistant News Editor en’s Resource Center, Gillian Cutshaw, the coordinator for Thursday evening in the In- sexual assault awareness, lead a tercultural Center, a panel spoke self-defense workshop for the Saint about the Palestinian/Israeli Mary’s College Community. The conflict. The event began with purpose of the workshop was to the question, “How can bad educate individuals about how things happen in this region and to properly defend themselves in no one do anything about it?” different situations, as well as to Prior to the panel discussion, ntroduce new violence prevention a video was shown that spoke techniques. about the history of the region The first part of the workshop and the conflict. In the 19th cen- was about awareness. Participants tury the region of Palestine was discussed the myths and facts of under Turkish rule. During the sexual assaults, statistics, and how same time anti-Semitism was to be aware. Participants were also growing in Europe. The Jewish encouraged to be conscious of political movement of Zionism their own boundaries, limits, and that sought to establish a Jewish instincts. national homeland was broadly In the second portion of the accepted by Britain and France. workshop, the topic of assertive- The Zionist vision was to take ness was introduced. Students over an empty land waiting for practiced this skill by being placed them. This land was not empty in a scenario in which they had to at all but was home to 700,000 Palestinians. In order to establish Robert Freeman/COLLEGIAN see WORKSHOP, p3 the Jewish state they would have to expel the Palestinians living Speech and Debate takes home trophy in final tournament there. In the 1930s, violence between Jews and Palestinians Members take home individual awards, team places first at NCCFA championship escalated. The video spoke about the complexities of the region by Ashley Hagin walk out of the tournament with, before competitions – she says, and current event speaking events. and many of the other uprises News Editor as it is the pride and knowledge “One example of an assignment Some may think it’s too much and battles that occurred in the knowing that you were the best.” we do is collect and highlight work, but honestly when you find 20th century. Surrounding Mid- The Macken Speech and Debate To prepare for competitions, thirty news articles about a certain your passion, it’s all worth it.” dle Eastern countries, including team brought home another trophy the team spends about four to topic. My topic was usually U.S. The rewards of being on the Macken Speech and Debate team Syria and Egypt, opposed the this month after finishing up their five hours going over their top- economy.” Kellogg prepares daily go beyond winning trophies at state of Israel. To protect them- spring season at the National ics, such as genocide in Darfur or by reading the news each morning tournaments. O’Connor said, “I selves from the hostility, the Is- Christian Colleges Forensics As- Libyan conflict, said O’Connor. to find out what is going on in the firmly believe that I would not raeli military grew into the most sociation Championship. The week before competition, the world. She says, “As a dedicated be as nearly as informed today powerful military of the Middle The team placed first in the team spends six to seven hours in debater, I set aside time each day, East. The video continued to Individual Events Sweepstakes preparation. Diaz explained that even weekends, to expand my describe the conflicts between category at the tournament, hosted team members turn in assignments knowledge for arguments in round see DEBATE, p3 the Palestinians and Israelis and by Azusa Pacific University, with the panel began to discuss their every member earning individual thoughts about the video and speaker awards. Professor and their connection to the conflict. Macken coach Cathy Glenn re- The panel consisted of five in- marked that it was the team’s dividuals from the Saint Mary’s “strongest speaking performance.” College community. Professor Senior Ana Diaz, team captain, of Communication Aaron Sachs placed sixth in Debate Speaking believed the video to be one out of 72, with freshman Kaitlin sided and did not describe the Kellogg placing eighth in Debate role of the Palestinians in the Speaking out of 56. Freshman conflict. Saint Mary’s student Maggie Powers placed first out of 29 in Extemporaneous Speaking, Maisa Morrar is a Palestinian and freshman Noah O’Connor American and she said, “The placed sixth out of 47 in Impromp- video gave a good outline of tu Speaking. O’Connor, freshman the conflict.” President Brother Erika Reames and freshman Shan- Ronald Gallagher said, “with the non Daley were all semi-finalists in video you don’t get a sense of the Extemporaneous Speaking out of people who live there and how 29 contestants. they live because the war is only Holding the first place title is, part of the struggle.” according to Kellogg, “like a feel- The panel then spoke of their ing I can’t even begin to describe. frustration and their thoughts It’s as if all my hard work, die-hard about the conflict. Brother Ron- passion and energy are held within ald was the president of Bethle- a single, tangible object. It’s not Courtesy of Cathy Glenn hem University in the 1990s and so much the plastic hardware you From left: Shannon Daley, Erika Reames, Kaitlin Kellogg, Noah O’Connor, Maggie Powers, and center Ana Diaz. see PANEL, p3 DETOUR OPINION News Opinion pg. 1 pg. 4 Campus Calendar Political Cartoon pg. 2 pg. 4 Britney’s back Abercrombie under fire for new bikini Detour pg. 6 Movie Review pg. 6 Sports pg. 7 Player of the Week pg. 7 pg. 4 pg. 6 2 I Tuesday, March 29, 2011 T he The Collegian inside page Snapshot Editorial Michael Bruer Thoughts on The American Collegian culture Saint Mary’s College of California The other day I had dinner at a Moroccan restaurant, Aicha, in San 2008 Winner Francisco and it got me thinking: Associate Collegiate Press What are the distinctive factors, if 10th Best of Show any, of American society? For ex- P.O. Box 4407 ample, if you were studying abroad, Moraga, CA 94575 in virtually any country in the world 223 Ferroggiaro Hall — for instance Germany — you Telephone: 925.631.4279 would never go out looking for the Fax: 925.631.4675 quintessential American bistro that E-mail: firstname.lastname@example.org reminds you of home. The closest Website: www.smccollegian.com thing we have is McDonald’s, which MICHAEL BRUER From left: Hannah Thom, Martin Marquiz, Nick Monaco, and apparently is what many mistaken BRYANT WEST foreigners believe is our staple food Editors-in-Chief Damaris Nielsen in attendance at last week’s ‘Lounge’ choice. I suppose the point is that the VICTORIA RUDD Provost Dobkin highlights Academic Blueprint United States is made up of a variety of cultures, a fact which is easily rec- Business Manager Statement details Blueprint’s proposed goals, relative success ognizable in any major city across the nation. But what is the cost of such MATTHEW E. ZEIDAN by Hannah Kovach ment; 2) Promote Learning and grant writing have all increased.” diversification? Are we sacrificing our Chief Copy Editor Staff Writer Teaching for Innovation, Creativity, Additionally, “The proposed work own identity with the inclusion of On March 21, Provost Beth and Collaboration; and 3) Build of the Core Curriculum Commit- so many cultural aspects? Or should SHAWNY ANDERSON Faculty Advisor Dobkin issued a statement en- Leadership that Advances Social tee will support faculty develop- we view the variance of our cultural titled, ‘Student Success and the Justice”. ment in American Diversity, Global identity in a positive light, that our MAX CROWELL Academic Blueprint’. This state- The school has already “raised Perspectives, and writing across the diversity makes our country uniquely Chief Photographer ment chronicled the ways the the percentage of undergraduate curriculum”. appealing? planned academic blueprint is honors students at admission and Overall, the Provost argued In addition to this, I realized ASHLEY HAGIN being implemented on the Saint with the entering class are likely to that so far, the Blueprint has been another major difference between News Editor Mary’s campus so far. She also dis- lower the undergraduate student reasonably successful in imple- the United States and nearly every cussed “initiatives that individual admit rate below 70%”. Addition- menting its goals, and that Saint other country in the world: our eating JEANNINE ABUSHARKH schools, academic programs and ally, they have “an all-time high” re- Mary’s is uniquely equipped to habits, specifically for dinner. Anyone Assistant News Editor administrative units are taking to tention rate for freshmen from fall fulfill the goals stated in the Aca- who pays attention to the national fulfill the direction established in to spring semester, at 98.6 percent. demic Blueprint. However, she media will know that American JAMES BROCK the blueprint.” The Master of Arts in Leader- also asserts that the Saint Mary’s society is fast, and our dinners are KATIE PORTER The stated goals of the Academic ship has “developed a new con- community “must continue to learn therefore rushed occasions, many Opinion Editors centration in Social Justice,” and what works, stop what doesn’t, and Blueprint are: “1) Prepare Students times joined with another task to ANTHONY GOTTI for Ethical & Effective Engagement “College support of student per- showcase our achievements as a increase the effectiveness of our THOMAS MORGAN in a Diverse and Global Environ- formances, faculty research, and community.” work day. But what about the fact Crime Beat Assistant Opinion Editors that when we seek to enjoy each other’s company and benefit from ALEX KOZELA a quality meal together, more often Detour Editor than not we choose to eat that dinner 3/19/11 12:21 a.m. lation. card & other personal items stolen out, rather than in the comfort of n SUSIE FORESMAN Incident: Student handbook vio- Synopsis: Underage possession in Thille Hall; referred to Com- our own home? In the words of my Assistant Detour Editor lation. and consumption of alcohol Jus- munity Life. Italian professor, “Italians live to eat, r GEORGE ROBLES Assistant Sports Editor Synopsis: Underage possession of alcohol – hidden in the closet in tin Hall; referred to Community Life. 3/20/11 11:33 p.m. and Americans eat to live.” It seems to me that these words are more real Aquinas Hall; referred to Com- Incident: Student handbook vio- than I may have realized at the time, Applications available at munity Life. 3/19/11 2:15 a.m. lation. and are also widely applicable to 223 Ferroggiaro Hall Incident: Student handbook vio- Synopsis: Noise complaint – un- many countries and cultures. The 3/19/11 1:29 a.m. lation. derage student in possession of typical American does regard food The Collegian is the official newspa- Incident: Student handbook vio- Synopsis: Noise complaint – alcohol in Aquinas Hall; referred as simply another part of the day, per of the Associated Students of Saint Mary’s College. The Collegian lation. found underage student in pos- to Community Life. sometimes a reason to break from a : is published weekly, except during Synopsis: Possession of parapher- session of alcohol in Mitty Hall; hectic schedule, but otherwise on par examination periods and academic nalia in Mitty Hall; referred to referred to Community Life. 3/21/11 10:43 p.m. with a smoke or water break. recesses. The Collegian reserves the Community Life. Incident: Student handbook vio- Our dependence on fast food right to hold and edit all submitted or materials, solicited and unsolicited. 3/19/11 9:30 a.m. lation. is alarming, and after recently re- 3/19/11 1:29 a.m. Incident: Attempted burglary. Synopsis: Possession of para- watching Morgan Spurlock’s Super or The Collegian’s Editorial Board is comprised of all oversight staff Incident: Student handbook vio- Synopsis: Tumbler lock broken phernalia and marijuana in South Size Me, I was reminded just how members. Other opinions expressed are not necessarily endorsed by The lation. and on the ground in Sodexo Claeys; referred to Community reliant we are, especially compared Collegian, its contributors and/or ad- Synopsis: Underage possession loading dock; referred to M. Life. to European countries. One woman vertisers. To place an advertisement and consumption in Mitty Hall; Carrol-Sodexo. in the documentary, a French na- or inquire about a subscription, call referred to Community Life. 3/22/11 7:09 p.m. tive, mentioned that the cup sizes The Collegian’s Business Department 3/19/11 11:30 a.m. Incident: Property damage. at McDonald’s are outrageous. She e at 925.631.4279 or visit www.smccol- legian.com/advertising. 3/19/11 1:45 a.m. Incident: Theft. Synopsis: Crack to windshield remarked that in France, the largest n Incident: Student handbook vio- Synopsis: Missing power strips from baseball in baseball field size barely equaled America’s small- lation. and Macintosh computer charger parking lot; referred to Athletics est. Similar to most problems of our Synopsis: Underage possession in Soda Activity Center; referred & Loss Prevention. society, change will only come about and consumption of alcohol Jus- to Carol Firestone, Events & through cooperative action, and the tin Hall; referred to Community Conferences. 3/23/11 3:30 p.m. more we continue to purchase greasy, Life. Incident: Information unhealthy, sugar-laden foods, the 3/19/11 6:03 p.m, Synopsis: Verbal threat in Park longer they will be around and the 3/19/11 1:54 a.m. Incident: Petty theft. Lafayette Apartments; referred to worse for the wear we will all be, both Incident: Student handbook vio- Synopsis: Purse with CA ID, debit Community Life. in our physical and emotional health. n Tuesday, March 29, 2011 I 3 news The Collegian PANEL: Speakers discuss a solution to an unending conflict DEBATE: Rewards go continued from page 1 Campus beyond trophies saw firsthand the suffering, frus- tration, and struggle of students to unending conflict. Mor- Calendar continued from page 1 living in the war zone. He said, rar had a list “people are suffering greatly but of ideas that Movie Night: Tangled on issues such as the Libyan there is no political help from she thought Tuesday, March 29 conflict, Somali piracy, and the Japanese Earthquake/Tsunami the international community.” could bring 9:00 p.m. – 11:00 p.m. if not for having to research and He asked, “if the U.S. wrote the peace, such LeFevre Theater participate in debate. All of this same size check [to Palestine as as getting rid Contact Reuben Greenwald information together allows me to they write to Israel] each year, o f H a m a s, x4704 become more informed on situa- then how much change would unifying tions around the globe today mak- occur in the region?” Some pan- Gaza and the Music in the Quad ing me a far better global citizen elists think the only way to have We s t B a n k , Wednesday, March 30 and a more active member of the a resolution is to come up with tearing down 12:40 p.m. – 2:10 p.m. global community.” For Kellogg, a middle ground. Sachs said, walls, remov- Contact Reuben Greenwald debate is a creative outlet that al- “There is no real incentive for ing check- x4704 lows me to express my opinions Israel to make peace,” since “the p o i n t s, a n d and challenge them at the same power imbalance is so drastic.” getting new Etiquette Dinner time. My heart belongs in an en- Brother Ronald agreed, saying, l e a d e r s h i p. Wednesday, March 30 vironment where I can appreciate “The economic imbalance is so These pos- drastic with 50 percent of Pal- 5:30 p.m. – 7:00 p.m. the skills of argumentation, ora- sible changes estinians unemployed.” Many could help Hagerty Lounge tory, and competition, and Speech Contact Kelly Fisher and Debate is just that.” of the uprises against the Israeli unify Pales- government have been unsuc- tinians and x4704 Diaz explained, “Our sponsor John Macken always says that cessful, and Morrar wonders Cozzetto if “a revolution would ever be said, “both Coffeehouse the skills you learn doing debate will help you no matter what you possible.” Saint Mary’s student sides would Wednesday, March 30 decide to do in life, and I honestly Julie Cozzetto, who went on the be able to 8:00 p.m. – 11:00 p.m. believe that to be true.” Bethlehem January Term immer- understand Hagerty Lounge sion said, “Palestinians are try- one another Contact Reuben Greenwald ing to be peaceful and get people and realize: x4704 WORKSHOP: Defense informed because they would I’m a person, techniques practiced undermine their movement if you’re a per- Cultural Night continued from page 1 they used violence.” Morrar re- son, we live Thursday, March 31 Courtesy of Olivier Blaise via flickr.com sponded, “A lot of Palestinians in the same 5:00 p.m. – 10:00 p.m. ask another person to stop doing don’t want to be violent and are place.” Sachs says, “Until they and Brother Ronald suggested Soda Center something. Key parts of assertive- discouraged [from protesting].” realize they are one community, that we should be educated Contact Joan Iva Fawcett ness that were discussed were body The panel was asked, “What it will be impossible to create about what is going on by read- x8317 language, eye contact, and clear can people do to bring peace to peace”. ing international newspapers. communication. the region?” The panelists agreed A student ended the dia - Cozzetto said, “You should go Finally, the couches were moved Friday Night Life that removing the extremists logue with the question, “As over there, you have to see for to the side to make room for the Friday, April 1 from Israeli and Palestinian a privileged American citizen, yourself and formulate your own physical aspect of the workshop. 8:00 p.m. – 11:00 p.m. government could be a solution what can I do to help?” Morrar opinions.” Cutshaw demonstrated how to es- Hagerty Lounge cape from various grips and taught Contact Reuben Greenwald various kicks and punches, how to We are always looking for new writers! x4704 eye-gouge, and Cutshaw’s favorite: 5K Run/Walk 4 Hunger the knee-to-groin. Participants practiced the moves on punching Please join us on Mondays at 6pm in Dante 121 Sunday, April 3 bags, and when they mastered 9:30 a.m. – 11:30 a.m. them, they were used to create dif- ferent combination moves. for storyboard meetings! Stadium Contact Ryan Lamberton For those who wanted to attend x4975 but didn’t get a chance, there will Feel free to bring friends and story ideas. be another workshop held in April. No prior experience is necessary. Room Selection For more information contact the Monday, April 4 Woman’s Resource Center. 11:00 a.m. – 8:00 p.m. Hagerty Lounge Contact Lauren Scranton x4235 De La Salle Week BBQ Monday, April 4 11:30 a.m. – 1:30 p.m. Chapel Lawn Contact Rebecca Sallee x4366 Lasallian Five Core Dinner Monday, April 5 6:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m. Soda Center Contact Christine Oh x4354 Planning an event? Want it in The Collegian? E-mail us with the details of your event at: email@example.com or call for more information: (925) 631-4279 Sorry, but due to space limitations we cannot list individual club meetings. Tuesday, March 29, 2011 I 4 OpiniOn The Collegian ‘Ashley’ Bi- At&T Takes Over the Mobile Phone Market kini Reveals Acquisition of T-Mobile ensures corporate dominance of telecommunications Too Much by Thomas Cohen statements, that this will increase makes it to Anti-Trust Court grasp over 43% of the wireless Assistant Opinion Editor AT&T’s capabilities, and provide later this year, federal regulators telecom market share, making by Katie Porter overall better networking and wire- will have the option to dismantle AT&T significantly larger and Opinion Editor AT&T Inc. announced this week less technology to more Ameri- the transaction because of mo- more powerful than any of its that it had entered into a definitive cans, faster. But, I am unconvinced nopolistic intentions. But because competitors, conjuring images When you hear the name Ab- agreement to purchase T-Mobile this is actually good for consumers. AT&T is currently the 7th largest of behemoth technology compa- ercrombie & Fitch, what do you USA from Deutsche Telekom in Not only will it consolidate the American corporation, and stands nies from fiction; ‘Skynet’ from think of ? Overpriced polos and a cash/stock transaction worth duopoly of AT&T and Verizon, it as the 2nd largest donator to U.S. the Terminator series or ‘Buy N ripped jeans? That moose label? $39 Billion. The two companies will also discourage competition political campaigns, I doubt this Large’ from Wall-E. Evidently, Gigantic black and white bill- are asserting that the merger will among smaller carriers and third will occur. Remember, it was only nothing helpful to mankind comes boards of half naked models? optimize the mobile experience party manufacturers. In the same in 1982 that AT&T was originally from anti-competitive tactics and Whatever image pops into your for all customers, and extend the sense, choosing your cell-phone deemed too powerful for competi- conglomerates that determine head, there is no denying that coverage of AT&T to 297 Million carrier is now like voting. You get tion and was split into multiple what we use, what we buy and the clothing company has been people. two choices, and they are basically local and national corporations how we live. known to push the envelope, espe- AT&T is currently the largest the same. This corporate purchase (United States v. AT&T). Since Public Knowledge, an interest cially in terms of youth sexuality. provider of cellular telephony, and is entirely fiscally motivated, and then however, the remains of Bell group and think tank, stated this It received a lot of complaints in this purchase cements its sheer has little in interest for custom- South, SBC Global and AT&T week that the merger would cause the early 2000’s that their adver- mass and the control it exercises. ers. Eventually, as the wireless have succeeded in re-merging into “higher prices, fewer choices, and tisements, which famously feature With this transaction, the 46.5 wars heat up, Verizon will buy an all-powerful conglomerate that less innovation.” All in response a lot of skin but not nearly as million T-Mobile customers will be Sprint, strengthening the con- had assets in 2010 greater than na- to an American corporation that much clothing, were too racy for added to the AT&T payroll, further glomerations’ power and further tions such as Denmark and Israel carries the slogan “Rethink Pos- a store that markets to teenage perpetuating AT&T’s domination demonstrating the lack of choice (268.4 Billion Dollars). sible”, yes possibly illegal, but consumers. over the rest of the mobile market. consumers have. When this deal goes through, when you have enough money Thus, it is no surprise that Yes, I have read the official When this purchase inevitably AT&T will have an omnipotent and influence, think again. Abercrombie & Fitch is once again making noise, this time in the form of a padded bikini tops for girls. The “Ashley” bikini was 100 Word Rants posted on abercrombiekids.com Skyrocketing gas prices are I know you’re excited for the The way some girls dress today I understand that college stu- earlier this week. When origi- the least of the problems that are baseball season to begin, but please is getting a tad ridiculous. I’ve seen dents love to party but sometimes nally posted, the swimsuit top shaking the world right now, but do not talk to me about your fan- pictures on Facebook of girls going I just want to stay in on a Friday was described as “push up.” How- this one hits closest to home. At tasy team anymore — I am sick of out wearing a tight short skirt and night and watch a movie and drink ever, following public outrage, the more than $65 a tank, it’s getting it. Seriously, I like baseball just as a bra. No sweater, no shirt, noth- some tea. People have no volume company has since dropped the more and more expensive to leave much as the average American ; ing. A bra is an undergarment, control on the weekends and padded description, calling it a campus. What’s a city-loving girl however, I do not want to listen to not the top you wear to a party. I forget that some people just want “stripped triangle” top although to do? Brave the dodgy bart-ride? how many stars you have drafted understand the desire to look cute to sleep after a long week. I find the padding is still there. Trudge around in search of ex- onto some imaginary team that and that you’re going to a party or it impossible to have good nights Now what’s the big deal? So citement in Moraga? Get caught you spend hours a day obsessing to a club, not out with your par- sleep in my hall on the weekends. what if some preteens want to up on seminar reading? While over. I don’t care about how many ents, but the way some girls have I usually drive to my mom’s house feel better about their bodies, weekend warriors will find a way homeruns so-and-so hit last year started to dress is crossing the line in San Francisco if I want to rest especially in our self-conscious to get around without needing and how they are going to get in my opinion. I get the, “If you’ve well. I wish people would be a little American culture? The problem another student loan, soon these you into the playoffs. So please, got it, flaunt it” mentality, but leave courteous and not be so loud and is that these padded bikinis are rising prices will affect everything do not expect me to even pretend something to the imagination. drunk on the weekends. being sold to girls as young as from spring break plans to study to care like I am listening to you seven-years-old. That’s right, your abroad. All in favor of alternative when you jibber-jabber about your -Krysta Worthen - Jeannine Abusharkh second grader can now add a little motors should start saving for the fantasy team. boost to their bust. gorgeous Tesla Roadster. Now, I’m no prude. Abercrom- -Tricia Savelli - James Brock bie & Fitch can have as many naked models in their advertising as they want. I don’t think it’s a Political Cartoon good marketing strategy to not show any of your clothes in your ads, but it seems to be working for them. This swim top, however, is crossing the line. It’s one thing to promote sexuality in already hyper-sexualized teenagers, but children that young should not be sexualized. Sex and sexuality are subjects that seven-year-olds are too young to be introduced to. They’re sim- ply not old enough to understand what those concepts mean, or what wearing a padded bra sig- nals. Also, for girls younger than nine or ten, there isn’t anything for the swim top to push up. So this bikini is effectually creating breast for girls that are years away from buying their first training bra. As sociologist Gail Dines said in an interview, this “sends out really bad signals to adult men about young girls being appropri- ate sexual objects.” But this is a problem that is seen throughout American culture, and there are multiple stores that sell products similar to Abercrombie & Fitch’s Ashley bikini. For in- stance, I used to work in a depart- ment store that sold girl’s training bras which were 95% padding. Abercrombie & Fitch were just the first store to get called out on Courtesy of USBICEF Cartoons this new form of stuffing. Tuesday, March 29, 2011 I 5 OpiniOn The Collegian Should American Armed Forces Intervene in Libya? Obama needs to demonstrate stronger leadership Other humanitarian crises require U.S. aid by Thomas Cohen by Tricia Savelli Assistant Opinion Editor Staff Writer About three weeks ago I wrote here that that while Europe and the rest of the world I’m not saying the US should not Apparently, the US only intervenes if a no fly zone was desperately needed over debate, the United States should act, but have intervened in Libya. Not entirely. it feels it will have a positive economic Libya and that President Obama needed instead the United States, the greatest mili- If a country is blatantly slaughtering impact. And what positive economic to show strong and decisive leadership to impact would intervening in civil-war the world. stricken Libya? Oil — and lots of it. Three weeks later, I’ve gotten one of Skeptics point out that Libya is not those things. the major exporter of oil to the US, but The forces of Libya’s terrorist dictator, it is where Italy gets most of its oil, and Muammar Gaddafi, have been stopped in therefore will have a large economic their tracks by a no fly zone imposed by impact on Europe and the US in turn. Western nations about a week ago. The Another reason for US intervention predominantly American, British, and is to “promote democracy,” in the French no fly zone has targeted and de- loosest sense of the term. “Promote” stroyed much of Gaddafi’s air and ground generally means supporting civil war defenses, and now Western forces are ex- and imposing military force until the panding their attacks to enforce what some democratic election take place, as seen military officials are calling a “no drive in Iraq, El Salvador, Nicaragua, and zone.” U.S. warships alone fired more than other countries. After ensuring the 120 cruise missiles in the first 48 hours of democratic stability of the nation, the no fly zone’s declaration. the US government can then continue Critics, say whatever you will, but the trading with the country, benefiting simple fact is: the no fly zone has already the U.S. economically. saved tens of thousands of real human Another major humanitarian crisis lives. that the US has not intervened in has However, the Obama Administration been occurring for years at its own and, more specifically, President Obama borders. According to the Washington himself have not acted in the decisive Post, anywhere from 350-500 people manner I expect of the U.S. foreign policy. Courtesy of 3.bp.blogspot.com die every year attempting to cross the While the Administration debated and Mexico-United States border. The discussed before the United Nations and tary power the world has ever known, is fol- its citizens, of course any country “borderlands” are littered with rem- international community people in Libya lowing the French in battle. What is going on? with the power to intervene should nants of these people, who are fleeing were being slaughtered by Gaddafi’s thugs. When the U.S. acts we should always wel- intervene. However, I am saying that a land of poverty and no opportunities Despite our position as the world’s largest come those who would stand beside us into a US motives were questionable, in light for the Oz that is America. military superpower, when French and Coalition of the Willing. However, while we of the other humanitarian crises that But the US takes no steps to either British planes scrambled to begin the air can never have too many allies in the fight the US did not get involved in. stabilize the Mexican economy to de- assault President Obama declared U.S. against tyranny and terror, waiting around for For example, in Rwanda, Darfur, crease the need to migrate, or secure forces would remain in a support role. Europe and the United Nations to act while and other countries in Africa where the border more fully to prevent these Now Mr. Obama is literally throwing com- innocent people die is simply unacceptable. millions were murdered, raped, or dangerous and deathly crossings. mand of the operation to NATO. And still As the world’s sole remaining superpower, imprisoned, the US either barely So, yes, the US should have inter- the Administration has made no effort to it is the United State’s moral imperative to intervened, waited for the conflict vened in Libya, just like it should have target Gaddafi himself; in fact, it flat out act unilaterally if required. In these cases we to subside before intervening, or just intervened in humanitarian crisis in refuses to do so. must not hesitate to exercise swift, decisive, avoided the contact all together. Latin America, Africa, and even in So why has the United States taken a and overwhelming military force, regardless Why, you might ask, would the its own states. The bottom line is, un- backseat role in the fight against Muammar of what the international community says. United States Government do this? less there is a major economic benefit Gaddafi, who—might I remind you—was It is as Edmund Burke famously said, “all Don’t they have the means? Don’t for the intervention, the US will not almost certainly responsible for the mur- that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that they always come to the “aid” of intervene under the disguise to “help der of hundreds of Americans in the 1988 good men do nothing.” struggling countries? Apparently not. the citizens” like it did in Libya. bombing of Pan Am Flight 103? I, for one, am embarrassed by the way Liberals would have you think it’s be- the Obama Administration has handled the Win An iPad 2 cause the United States cannot act unilater- Libyan intervention. President Obama’s half- ally in this type of military-humanitarian hearted and lazy approach not only made campaign—despite the clear fact that we the United States look weak and indecisive can. A similar no fly zone was enforced abroad, but it cost human lives. U.S. planes, over Iraq in the 1990’s with 100 aircraft— not French and British ones, should be lead- the USS Enterprise, now stationed off the ing the no fly zone and American ordinance coast of Libya, alone carries 70 combat should be hammering Gaddafi’s compound aircraft. U.S. airbases in Europe field hun- into oblivion. President Obama, not David dreds more. Our navy has more battlefleet Cameron, not Nicolas Sarkozy, is the leader tonnage than the next eleven combined. of the free world; and it’s high time he started These facts in mind, I’ve always believed acting like it. Collegian Letter Policy ~ The Collegian welcomes Letters to the Editor, which may be submitted online at smccollegian.com. Please sign your letter with your full name and if applicable, your year in school and/or title. Anonymous letters are not Take the National College Health often published. Assessment (NCHA) & Win! Look for the ACHA-NCHA Web Survey in your Saint Mary’s E-mail. After completing the NCHA Survey, you will have the opportunity to win an iPad 2 or $500 Cash Grand Prize! or 100 cash prizes $10-$100 The NCHA will be available online March 24th – April 11th Sponsored by the Health and Wellness Center and Office of Visit www.smccollegian.com for more articles, updates and more! Institutional Research Detour 6 I Tuesday, March 29, 2011 The Collegian Britney’s back, again SMC band shines Pop diva’s seventh album makes us dance Hipsters make great music by Tom Cohen Staff Writer raw talent. An album that encom- by Jazo Moises is a catchy song and still has sexy vibe that Britney is known passes vulnerable love songs, mys- Staff Writer the Britney vibe, there’s really for. Hands down, the best song tifying drug-induced journeys, nothing special to distinguish on this album has to be “I Wan- and scathing politicized social it from songs from other art- na Go.” Its infectious chorus commentary. A journalist with ists. The same goes for “Big and its heavy use of electronic Cosmo’s Academy less would have been turned off Weather for Hats by their sheer ambition. Britney Spears Fat Bass,” which was produced beats make it the perfect dance Femme Fatale by will.i.am. Most of the songs anthem. I first heard of Cosmo’s Acad- Between allusions to Shake- It’s been two years since on the album are very Britney- By blending her original style emy through a hipster. He in- speare and fuzzed out lo-fidelity Britney Spears has offered us infused, but this one seems like with the popular styles of today, formed me, that yes, Saint Mary’s beach jams, there is an all around new music. We’ve been Into the it belongs on a Black Eyed Peas Britney Spears remains an icon- had their very own rock-and-roll good listen to be had if you own Zone, experienced a Blackout, CD. ic figure in the music industry. band, and yes, they were super fly. a decent set of headphones. It and gone to her Circus. Now it’s Though there are some miss- Though I feel that this album When their first album was made should be warned that a certain time to meet the Femme Fatale. es on the album, there are still isn’t her best, Femme Fatale still available on their Band Camp mindset is necessary. This is not Spears’ seventh studio album several songs that are sure to offers the fun sounds and the website, I was among the first ap- radio pop. This is Velvet Under- mixes the classic Britney vibe wow the listener. Her first sin- infectious lyrics that will please prehensive listeners. But despite ground; this is Animal Collec- with the influence of the music gle “Hold it Against Me” sets her oldest fans and her newest the usual fears associated with tive. The closest they come to today. an amazing tone for this album, listeners. “college bands,” their evident, if pop music is on their charmingly However, I do feel that at perfectly mixing classic Britney unpolished, talent manifests itself catchy “Let’s Get High!” which is times there is too much of this with the sound of current dance Grade: B in transcendental poetic depth the second track on the LP, a jam influence. The album starts off music. “How I Roll” does the Download: “I Wanna Go” and genuine musical genius. worthy of road trips on summer with the Ke$ha-written “Till same thing. With a fun rhythm, The two students have asked nights. the World Ends.” Though it this song gives off the sleek and me not to reveal their “human And it is only uphill from names” but have given explicit there, from sensual trips like “Mir- permission for their stage moni- ror Babies” that drip with synths kers. Thaddeus Flowe, the lyri- and sex, to the Beatles’ inspired cist, possesses a moonless dispo- “Pools.” I truly hope this band sition only offset by his heartfelt makes it, and makes it big. Not and comprehensive rhymes. And only would this prove once and John Blaze, the main musician, a for all the caliber of this educa- keyboardist of Olympic caliber, tional institution, but it would knows harmony and melody bet- also validate the irrational idola- ter than any man since McCart- try I have developed for this band. ney. If you are interested, please Now to their debut LP: Weath- download their album free of er for Hats, which was indepen- charge at www.cosmosacademy. dently recorded and released, is a bandcamp.com. I only hope that monumental 28 minutes of sonic they will play at Gaelapalooza. achievement and lyrical inspira- tion. Not since The Unicorns’ Grade: A- debut has an album struck this Download: “Pale Eyes,” journalist with such profound and “Pools” and “Your Song” Photo courtesy of iamboigenius.com Sucker Punch misses the mark Director Zach Snyder underperforms despite flashy effects Are you ready for room selection? by Michael Bruer the incident by placing Baby Doll Scott Glen plays the wise man Editor-in-Chief in a mental institution that prides that explains their predicament After seeing Watchmen, and hearing the rave reviews of 300, itself on mind-numbing loboto- mies. To cope with her impending in Zen-like ways, providing the brave group with weapons and “Like” us on facebook and be automatically I came into Zack Snyder’s Sucker procedure, Baby Doll creates a instructions along the way. The 5 entered to win one of the 1st 5 room Punch with optimism, excited fantasy world in her mind that be- girls are on a mission to obtain 4 selecion appointment times. to see how he would do with comes the setting for the majority objects that will help them escape www.facebook.com/SMCampusHousing an original story. Unfortunately, of the rest of the film. As the psy- the facility/club. The ensuing Snyder’s latest film was less than chologist of the facility, Dr. Vera action is visually appealing, but satisfactory, and his first film not Gorski (Carla Gugino) becomes without proper character develop- Room Selection adapted from another movie or the dance instructor in the fantasy ment, one never feels any sense comic book failed to include half- world, where Baby Doll and the of connection with the girls. With Important dates way decent character develop- other girls are now performers in each mission the focus of the au- ment or an engaging plot line. Ul- a gentlemen’s club. The other key dience shifts from the characters’ Date Event timately the flashy visual effects transformations include the or- success (or lack thereof) to how 3/16 LAST DAY to fill out online Room/Roommate and over-the-top fight sequences derly (Oscar Isaac) and the doctor creative the filmmakers were with Selection Form for current Soph./Juniors. could not salvage this movie from (Jon Hamm) becoming the high- their fight sequences. its own undoing. 3/18 Room Reservation Deposit Due for current First roller. Overall the film suffers chiefly Year Students Sucker Punch tells the story The muted colors of reality are from a lack of basis in reality. We of Baby Doll (Emily Browning), instantly converted to the colorful only come back to the real world 3/23 Appointment Draw: Room Selection Appointments who is sent to a mental facility af- environment of the club, complete at the closing moments of the sto- posted on SMCnet today. ter a depressing series of events: with sexy outfits, smoke-filled ry, and by this point it can be hard following the death of her moth- lounge areas, and vintage roaring to remember who was who. The 3/25 LAST DAY to fill out a Proxy Card er, her stepfather kills her young- 20’s era accoutrements. Viewers acting is not poor by any fault of er sister, framing Baby Doll in the are then taken further down the the actors, but rather the charac- 4/4 Room Selection Day for current Freshmen process. The stepfather covers up proverbial rabbit hole, ters they are given are so flat and as Baby Doll creates one-dimensional that it reflects 4/5 Room Selection Day for current Soph./Juniors a war-torn world in badly on the performances of the which she and her ensemble cast. 4/8 Room Reservation Deposit Due for current Soph./ four friends, Sweet Generally speaking, the spe- Juniors Pea (Abbie Cor- cial effects in this film are exciting nish), Rocket (Jena and visually appeasing. Though Malone), Blondie the merit of Sucker Punch is by Room (Vanessa Hudgens), and Amber (Jamie no means based on its ability to tell a rich story, the lack of plot is Selection April 4th, 5th 2011 using Chung), must battle all too noticeable, and leaves you us Ho Camp 41 x42 the evil forces of ro- wishing you had never been suck- Hagerty Lounge bot warriors, samurai, ered into it in the first place. and zombie Nazis. Grade: C Photo courtesy of suckerpunchtrailer.net SportS Tuesday, March 29, 2011 I 7 the Collegian It’s not so sunny in Philly for Gaels Gaels split 2-2 on tough week Saint Mary’s falls 14-4 to the Drexel Dragons Men’s tennis now sits at 8-7 overall by DJ Bowen Staff Writer The ends of halves doomed the Saint Mary’s women’s lacrosse team in their chance to build upon their two-game winning streak this weekend. Against Saint Joseph’s on Saturday, the Gaels were held scoreless for the final 17 minutes of the game and fell short 8-7. In Courtesy of smcgaels.com Courtesy of smcgaels.com Sunday’s action, the Gaels were en route to the 4-2 victory. Junior Juliet Munroe had a goal in the Gaels 14-4 loss to Drexel. overmatched by Drexel 14-4. Their by Michael Bruer In their final game of the Spring record now stands at 2-6 overall fort during their games in Phila- demonstrated the disparity in the Editor-in-Chief Break Classic, the Gaels and Shock- and 1-2 in Mountain Pacific Sports delphia. Chong scored three times action. Drexel shot twenty more ers only had singles play due to time Federation play. against Saint Joseph’s and Walk times (33-13), obtained a dozen In their last home game in constraints. The Gaels earned their In chilly Philadelphia, the Gaels added a goal. Another catalyst for more ground balls (30-18), made March, the Gaels secured a victory two points on the day on the first led 4-2 with ten minutes remaining Saint Mary’s is Junior attacker Ju- less turnovers (29-21), and were ag- over UC Riverside 7-0 last Tuesday. two courts. Lucas Tirelli ’11 earned in the first half against the Hawks, liet Munroe, who had eight goals gressor by committing more fouls After sweeping each of the doubles a 6-3, 7-6 win over Guillermo Nicol but three consecutive goals to close entering the weekend and added a (15-6). The win gave Drexel an im- matches, the team carried that mo- at the two spot to improve to 9-6 in the half gave the home team the pair in Saturday’s match. pressive 6-2 record. mentum over into singles play, never singles action this season. Maxime lead. Saint Mary’s retook the lead Just as the score indicated, the For the Gaels, Munroe tallied a surrendering a single set. Of note Olivan ’13 dropped the first set in in the second half with 17 minutes game was tightly contested. The score and Walk chalked up an as- were Junior Gavin Leon and sopho- his match on court one, but battled remaining. Sitting at 7-6, the Gaels Hawks led in shots (26-24), saves sist. Katie Worsdale played every more Maxime Olivan, who won back to defeat Vlad Marinescu 3-6, just needed to maintain possession, (10-9), and ground balls (29-25). minute in goal for the Gaels over their third-straight match together 6-1, 6-1. Wichita State stole the win scoop up ground balls, and manage The teams were even on turnovers the weekend and tallied twenty as- 8-3 at the one spot in doubles play. from Saint Mary’s 4-2, finishing the the clock. Unfortunately, Saint Jo- (19) and goals scored from free po- sists, while allowing the 22 scores. The Saint Mary’s Men’s tennis classic in third place. seph’s capitalized on some of the sition opportunities (2). The Gaels stayed in the north- team opened up the Boise State Luckily for the Gaels, they re- young Gaels’ mistakes and scored In Sunday’s match, the usual east to face Delaware on Tuesday Spring Break Classic last Friday with main a win above .500 despite twice in the final seven minutes to suspects showed up for the host and will conclude next week’s ac- a victory over Ball State 4-2, but they their poor showing at the Classic. pull out a late victory at home. Dragons. Their top three scorers tion with their second home game could not sustain that momentum, Saint Mary’s will return to action Sophomores Jillian Chong and combined for ten of the 14 goals, of the season. The conference falling in succession to no. 57 Idaho next weekend hosting two West Mariah Walk led the Gaels with including building a dominating match-up against Stanford will later that day 4-2 and Wichita State Coast Conference opponents. The 14 goals each heading into the 8-2 lead at the end of the first half. take place at 1pm at Saint Mary’s on Saturday 4-2. Gaels will open up the weekend on weekend and they kept up this ef- The statistics on the game Stadium. In the match against Ball State, Friday, April 1 against Santa Clara. freshman Joakim Nostrom won his The match against the Broncos is BASEBALL: Hot streak continues to Sunday team-leading 10th singles match; with a quick 6-2 7-5 win over Austin scheduled to begin at 3 p.m. from the Timothy Korth Tennis Complex. continued from page 8 Sansone at the five spot. SMC went The following day, SMC will host When it was time to call upon weekend of strong pitching a Channing singled to right center on to win on courts three through six Gonzaga at 12 p.m. the bullpen, senior Dorsey Ek complete game three hit shut- bringing home Collins. Hayes and freshman Thomas Cortese were up to the task. Ek struck out out to earn his first victory on the season. He walked one and followed with an RBI single to make it 2-0. The Gaels added SOFTBALL: Swept by Northwestern the side in order in the seventh struck out eight on the day. a run in the third, three in the continued from page 8 and then retired the Privateers in The Privateer’s countered fourth and one in the fifth to cap in the 0-6 final. Saint Mary’s has not scored order in the eighth. Cortese re- with Garrett Manning (0-3) who the scoring. The Gaels are now on a a run in the past four games lieved Ek in the ninth and retired pitched five innings, allowed all The Gaels will be back in five game losing streak after but will look to turn their pre- the side in order to end the game. seven runs and a walk. action today when they take on earlier losses this past week to season around when they travel On Sunday, junior Kyle Barra- The Gaels got the only run the Stanford Cardinals at Sunken Northwestern and were shut out to Palo Alto to take on number clough (1-3) continued SMC’s they would need in the first. Diamond Field at 5:30 PT. 0-8 in both games. This means 13 Stanford at 6pm. . GOLF: Next contest at Braveheart Classic player of the Week continued from page 8 Troy Channing finished first individually with rounds of 70-67-72 for a total of 209 (-7). Junior Kevin Smith who was playing in his first action of the spring season finished tied for Baseball 28th with rounds of 74-74-76 (+8) and sophomores Mac Mc- Clung and Ben Geyer both fin- Junior catcher Troy ished with an overall score of 228 (+12) to put them tied for 44th. Channing hit his 37th Saint Mary’s will next travel to career homerun en Courtesy of smcgaels.com Beaumont, CA in the Braveheart route to a 14-0 victory Senior Richard Conlin finished in 7th at the Barona Creek Golf Classic at Oak Valley Golf Club on April 11th through the 12th. over New Orleans last Club. Friday. He also Need a Tutor? had a RBI in the 7-0 Get one free at the sweep on Sunday. Tutorial and Academic Skills Center Filippi Academic Hall, Room 190 Want to work as a Tutor? Get a job at the Courtesy of smcgaels.com Tutorial and Academic Skills Center Email firstname.lastname@example.org SportS thiS Baseball: ~ Tues. @ Stanford ~ Thurs. @ Southern Utah Women’s Tennis: ~ Sat. v. Santa Clara, 12:00 p.m. Cross Country: ~ Fri. @ Johnny Mathis Invitational Softball: ~ Wed. @ Stanford ~ Sun. v. Bosie State, 12:00 p.m. Week ~ Fri. @ Southern Utah ~ Sat. @ Southern Utah Men’s Tennis: ~ Sat. v. Gonzaga, 12:00 p.m. Women’s Lacrosse: ~ Tues. @ Delaware ~ Sun. v. Stanford, 1:00 p.m. Rowing: ~ Sat. @ San Diego Crew Classic SportS The Collegian 8 Tuesday, March 29, 2011 Go Gaels! Gaels blast past Privateers Men’s golf places third Saint Mary’s hits in 28 runs in three games to sweep New Orleans at Barona Strong final round lifts Gaels over many WCC rivals by George Robles Assistant Sports Editor The Saint Mary’s golf team traveled to Lakeside, CA this past week to play in the Bar- ona Collegiate Cup where they would finish third in the tour- nament of 16 teams. The Gaels shot a final round 376 (+14) to finish in the tough rainy and windy conditions in addition to the lengthy 7,374 feet Barona Creek Golf Course. They were led by senior Richard Collin who shot rounds of 70-72-74 (E) for a total of 216 and finished at a career best 7th place in the field of 100. The Gaels entered the final round tied for sixth place with University of New Mexico after scores of 368 and 366 from the first two days. Even though the final day of 376 was the highest of the three, it was good enough to advance them three spots. Max Crowell/ THE COLLEGIAN Senior Henrik Holm also had Junior catcher Troy Channing hit his 37th career homerun in a 14-0 win in the first game of a doubleheader against New Orleans on Friday. a solid tournament for Saint Mary’s and shot rounds of 74- 22 hits and 14 runs as they cruised five runs in the bottom of the in a 7-3 SMC victory. 74-74 (+6) to finish with 222 by Trisha Raymus to a 14-0 victory. third. Sophomore Patrick Wisdom The Privateers sent Zach Kelt and tied for 20th finish. Holm’s Staff Writer Anderson dominated, throwing singled and scored on junior Troy (1-4) to the mound. He went five tournament was highlighted by his second complete game shutout Channing’s third homerun of the innings, five hits, six runs, four a spectacular hole-in-one on the Due to inclement weather, the of the year to earn his fourth win season. Freshman Danny Hayes earned, with three walks and three second day of the tournament Saint Mary’s (9-11) baseball team of the season. He controlled the singled, advanced to second on strikeouts. on the par-3 190 yard 11th hole altered their schedule and location game from the beginning, never al- junior Chris Murphy’s bunt, and The Gaels got on the board first with a 4 iron. It was his first by playing a double-header on lowing a Privateer to reach second scored on junior Toby DeMello’s scoring a pair of runs on a hit and career hole-in-one and was the Friday against the New Orleans base. He went 9.0 innings, allowed double. Senior Michael Gastelum fielding error in the first inning. first time a Gael has had once Privateerss (1-22) at Laney Col- two hits, with two walks and struck and junior Donald Collins both They got all they would eventually in a competitive tournament lege in Oakland. They won both out seven. added an RBI in the inning. need in the third inning. With two since 2008. Friday games 14-0 and 7-3, and The Privateers countered with In the second game, The Gaels men on base, sophomore Brenden Host San Diego State domi- on Sunday they finished off the Tyler Sanders (0-5) who lasted four sent sophomore Martin Agosta (2- Kalfus collected a pair of RBIs by nated the final round by shoot- weekend sweep with a 7-0 victory. innings, gave up 15 hits, eight runs, 3) to the mound, who had a quality doubling down the left field line. ing an impressive 357 to finish in In the first game, junior Mark with one walk and a strikeout. start in earning his second straight He later scored on Wisdom’s single first place at one under par. UC Anderson (4-1) pitched a complete SMC scored in five innings, but decision. He threw six innings, sur- to left field. Santa Barbra golfer Glen Scher game two-hit shutout and the the biggest outburst came when rendering three runs on four hits Gaels pounded out a season-high they batted around and scored and a career-high eight strikeouts BASEBALL, p7 GOLF, p7 Softball ends up scoreless in tought 0-4 week Gaels lose fifth game in a row after tough games against Oregon State, UC Davis double in the bottom of the 7th by George Robles inning by Oregon State handed Assistant Sports Editor Saint Mary’s the heartbreaking 0-1 loss. After rain pushed back play Later that day the Gaels over the weekend, the Gaelsdf would again fall, this time to (4-11) were matched up against UC Davis, who also shut down Oregon State and UC Davis the Saint Mary’s offense. The where their offense would game started off with a slow struggle and would fall 0-1 and pace defensive struggle until the 0-6 respectively on the same day. Aggies bats came alive when Despite solid pitching from they scored two runs in the third Junior Rebecca Lemmon, who and fourth innings. This game only allowed one run and had tagged Junior pitcher Kimberly three strikeouts, but the Gaels Green with the loss and falls to offense was shut down by the 0-3 on the season. The Aggies Oregon State bullpen. At the out hit the Gaels by a margin plate Saint Mary’s was led by of 12-6 and Saint Mary’s left Rebecca Sabatini who went 3 runners on base in four of the for 5 and Kayla Gonzales who seven inning which would result hit 2-5, but could not find an Courtesy of smcgaels.com answer to score a run. An RBI SOFTBALL, p7 Junior pitcher Jessica Lemmon allowed only five hits in the 1-0 loss to Oregon State on Sunday..