Happy Birthday Happy Anniversary by wpr1947


									                                             9:00 and when we came home my mom           Death Wars VII isn’t out yet. Mary had
             Kudos                           asked me if I wanted to go to school but
                                             I said no because I wanted a more funner
                                                                                         a little lamb whose fleece was white as
                                                                                         snow. Great jokes (especially the last
To Rebecca, Xev, Aiden & Daniel for
the creative, well written spoof of the      day and not to go to school. So then we     one). But the real kicker was my dad’s
Geralnik Gazette that most of you            went to a toy store and I spent 10          article. I was literally rolling on the floor
                                             minutes looking at toys. Maybe 11 or        laughing. I hear that it was Aiden’s and
received by email on Tuesday. A
                                             12. (More like 20 or 25 but whatever) I     Rebecca’s idea. Next week: excerpts
great laugh was enjoyed by all. (And
                                             chose a Spiderman that has a backpack       from my math homework. Until then, So
we found out that there are people out       and 2 balls go inside and I can shoot       long & thanks 4 all the fish.
there who actually read the Gazette!)        them out. Then we went home for a
For the record – I am NOT pregnant!          little while. Then after a few minutes it
(At least not that I know of) ☺              was 12:00 and we wanted to go to lunch               Happy Birthday
                                             to Burger Ranch so we took Nechama
                                             and Molly but not Kevin. I had a hot
                                                                                                   Cochava Silvera
                                             dogs and french fries and orange soda.                  Dov Gilor
                                             Nechama had corn and a hamburger and                   Laura Jarvie
                                             she shared with Molly. Mommy had a
                By: Tzippy
                                             shnitzel sandwich. Then we went to a
Yes. It’s true. I am obsessed with biking
                                             different store but me and Nechama and
                                                                                               Happy Anniversary
and since my doctor said I can’t ride if I                                                    Roberta & Marc Bauer
                                             Molly didn’t go in. Only Mommy did.
am pregnant, I decided to choose biking.
                                             Then we went to the bakery and bought
(That and the thought of midnight
                                             cookies and a muffin for me. Then we
feedings convinced me.)
                                             came home for a little while and
When Caryn and I started riding, I was
                                             Mommy played a game of rummy cub                              By: Riki
very uncertain if I would actually enjoy
                                             with me. Then I ate my muffin and that      Yesterday, we (finally) painted! It was
and continue riding. I decided to just
                                             was the end of my fun day.                  very fun except that we shared a room
ride a bike that I had (actually the bike
that Joey crashed on) and I told Sergio                                                  with the boys. (Short background: Riki
that if I was still riding by my birthday                                                is going to B’nei Akiva (youth group)
(Jan 12th so you have plenty of time to       .                                          and the first month of each year, the kids
shop. 55 days for those of you who need                   By: Joey Geralnik              paint the rooms in the building that they
to know), I wanted a new bike.               This week’s special edition was             will be using)
Well, we kept on riding and I started        hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank you    I will tell you why that is annoying
getting obsessed. There is this big hill     very much to Xev and Daniel Gittler and     later. First, we painted one of the
up to Shilat and we decided that if we       Rebecca and Aiden Schore for the laugh.     backgrounds of the walls green and
were going to attempt it, we needed new      I would also like to thank all other        another blue. One of my michanechot
bikes so we should get them for              people who gave us a laugh by sending       (group leaders) had a birthday, so a few
Chanuka instead. Then, we surpassed          b’sha’a tova (in a good time – an           girls made a cake and a play. The cake
our goals and realized maybe we should       expressions used when someone is            was good, except I had a hard time
plan on getting them by Thanksgiving.        pregnant) messages and Mazal Tovs to        eating it because my hands were full of
After we started also taking spinning        us. Did you even read the paper? A          green paint. Then we went to the
classes, we decided we are ready now so      cheesecake fois gras? There are many        migrash kador sal (soccer field). We
this week we went and bought new             things I can see that would make it         tried to start dancing, but some girls
bikes. We picked them up on Thursday         completely unreasonable. Did you really     played instead. Then, we went to check
and bought a couple of toys too. I guess     think that none of us would complain        on the room. The boys were supposed to
we are now committed to biking. Wish         about having to write an article on         paint 1 wall yellow but instead they
us luck!                                     Monday, and that none of the kids would     painted it blue, green and yellow.
                                             mention the pregnancy? Riki read            Besides that, they painted a little of the
                                             Macbeth in the past two days (we know       picture on both of our walls. Now we'll
                                             she just finished a different book last     have to paint the colorful wall white
                                             week)? Yoni’s article (I was cracking       again and then yellow. Thank goodness
                 By: Coby
                                             up at it). Yoni gave Coby all of his        we are not painting with the boys again
On Tuesday, I had a hearing test so I got
                                             computer games?           Not to mention    on Thursday. It was super fun. The End.
to sleep late because I didn’t have to go
                                             everybody who’s anybody knows that          Based on a true story.
to school. We went to the hearing test at
                                                   Volume 2 – Number 11
                                                       Nov 17, 2006
                                               Activities -                                 Old MacDonald had a farm. One of the
                                               1st baby: You take your infant to Baby       cows started a great cow rebellion and
                                               Gymnastics, Baby Swing, and Baby Story       all the cows rebelled against him. Then
                                               Hour.                                        some "brilliant" cow decided to call a
                                               2nd baby: You take your infant to Baby       nuclear strike. The nuke killed all the
  In Honor of the Special Edition              Gymnastics.                                  cows but Old MacDonald was at the
                                               3rd baby: You take your infant to the        supermarket 2 hours away. The end.
          The Evolution of Mom                 supermarket and the dry cleaner.
                                               Going Out -
Yes, parenthood changes everything. But        1st baby: The first time you leave your
parenthood also changes with each baby.        baby with a sitter, you call home 5 times.
Here, some of the ways having a second         2nd baby: Just before you walk out the       Since Sergio has almost no time to do
and third child differs from having your       door, you remember to leave a number         anything this week due to a crazy
first:                                         where you can be reached.                    deadline at work, we decided to print
Your Clothes -                                 3rd baby: You leave instructions for the     some of our favorite responses to the
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity          sitter to call only if she sees blood.       special edition Gazette that came out this
clothes as soon as your OB/GYN confirms        At Home -                                    past Tuesday. (And I agreed to edit the
your pregnancy.                                1st baby: You spend a good bit of every      paper this week!) Please let us know if
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes        day just gazing at the baby.                 you still haven’t gotten a copy of it.
for as long as possible.                       2nd baby: You spend a bit of every day       Here goes:
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes are your      watching to be sure your older child isn't
regular clothes.                               squeezing, poking, or hitting the baby.      Wow! Congratulations! Are you crazy?
The Baby's Name -                              3rd baby: You spend a little bit of every
1st baby: You pore over baby-name books        day hiding from the children.
and practice pronouncing and writing                                                        Okay, I need to ask.....who has the time
combinations of all your favorites.                                                         to sit there & write this stuff??? If they
2nd baby: Someone has to name their kid                                                     need something to do so badly, I have a
                                               VERY IMPORTANT MESSAGE                       house that needs cleaning.
after your great-aunt Mavis, right? It might
as well be you.
                                               Anyone who wants to be remembered
3rd baby: You open a name book, close          by my kids needs to send us updated          That is hilarious - whoever did it, did a
your eyes, and see where your finger falls.    pictures FAST!!       My kids are            great job!
Bimaldo? Perfect!                              forgetting who’s who.       So please,
Preparing for the Birth -                      please send family pictures for us to        Still laughing. Have you figured out
1st baby: You practice your breathing          put on our friends and family wall.          who sent it yet?
religiously.                                   Either email them or snail mail them
2nd baby: You don't bother practicing          but get them here. (Email us if you need     Congratulations. (Just in        case   the
because you remember that last time,                                                        retraction is the fake e-mail)
                                               an address.)
breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your                                                   I am not sure we believe your retraction.
8th month.                                                                                  Mazal Tov
The Layette -
1st baby: You prewash your newborn's                            By: Yoni
                                                                                            YOU NEVER KNOW!!! Stranger things
clothes, color-coordinate them, and fold       On a normal day it takes 40-50 minutes
                                                                                            have been known to happen. (Not Really!)
them neatly in the baby's little bureau.       to get from Jerusalem to Chashmonaim.
2nd baby: You check to make sure that the      On a normal day by a cab it takes
clothes are clean and discard only the ones                                                 Well, I received two copies of the
                                               approximately the same. But when I’m
with the darkest stains.                                                                    newsletter. Does that mean that Tzippy
                                               on the hasa’ah (school bus) it takes 20-
3rd baby: Boys can wear pink, can't they?                                                   is pregnant with twins??????
                                               30 minutes to get from Jerusalem to
Worries -                                      Chashmonaim. This is because all the
1st baby: At the first sign of distress - a    drivers drive at least at 125 kilometers
whimper, a frown - you pick up the baby.       per hour. Some go faster, some go                   Missed a Gazette?
2nd baby: You pick the baby up when her        slower. I use to just hang on and hope            Want to reprint a favorite?
wails threaten to wake your firstborn.
                                               we don't get stopped by a cop until I        The complete Geralnik Gazette archives now
3rd baby: You teach your 3-year-old how                                                        available online at www.yojorico.com
                                               realized that the army trucks are going
to rewind the mechanical swing.
                                               even faster then we are. Now I will write
(Steven – Joke continues in next column!)
                                               a short story.
                                                      Volume 2 – Number 11
                                                          Nov 17, 2006

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