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					                                   ALL THE NEWS AND VIEWS

 Virgo: The Musical
                     Rivlin on revelling
                                  Revd. Keith exclusive
Pink and Blue:
Downing’s sporting           heroes

                                       The Griffin
                                                   Easter term 2009
                                                          Downing College’s
                                                    Undergraduate Magazine

Let the Griffin carry you into May Week with fun, thought and hefty
amounts of downing
 Chances are you chose Cambridge because you
want the best education. At Massaro’s we feel the
         same about our food and coffee


For genuine real food, coffee and gelato to enjoy in
our coffee shop or take away come to Massaro’s at
85 Regent Street (Just a few minutes walk towards
                the catholic church)

        Massaro’s Artisan Deli and Espresso bar
                   85 Regent Street
                 Cambridge CB2 1AW
                   t: 01223 314230
             e: realfood@massaros.co.uk
                www.massaros.co.uk




                            2
           W
  UNDER NE                                       Front and back cover photographs
             T
    ANAGEMEN
                                                 by Meg Atkinson
  M
                                                        News and Views (3-4)
                                                 JCR and all that (5)
Whose idea was it to bring back Editorials,
anyway? Here goes nothing… We’re                                        My week (6-7)
FREEE! Until October. If the thought of
May Week followed by four months of              Desert Island Discs with
summer isn’t enough to make your mouth           Graham Virgo (8-11)
water, feast yourselves on this edition of
The Griffin. We’ve catered for (almost)
every reader, from politics and news to
                                                     The Great Downing Politics Poll
anecdotes from the past. But dodgy food-                                    (12-13)
related metaphors aside, we’d like to thank
our sports editor Katie Brown and our edi-       Downing in Downing (14-16)
torial team, consisting of: Alex O’Leary,
Jenny Marshall, Sarah Cobley, Jack Rivlin,                       Back in my day(17)
Kat Fish, Jemima Middleton, Tori Hermon
and Simon Bourne.                                Societies(18-22)
        Even if you don’t have time to read it
now, save it for that inevitable point in the         Pointers fro m the Porters(23)
holidays when you realise that you’d actu-
ally rather be back in Cambridge, work or        Sports(24-32)
no work. Until then, maybe it can serve as
a useful doorstop? But for now: pimms,
punting and parties. Let’s play.

Your new editors,
Orlando and Aditi




                                                            Photos by Simon Bourne
                                                 3
                                           The global economy is in meltdown, swine flu has
                                           the world in terror of a new global pandemic of,
 PENDULUM! At Downing Ball.
                                           and it’s actually sunny in summer! But you can all
 Worst kept secret ever? Wthink
                                           go on the BBC website for that. Here’s the news
                                           according to Downing:
PIMMS, BBQ, TWEED.
Any order, any combination.
                                              DOWNING MAY BALL MASSIVE, PRESUMED
                                              GOOD. A sell-out in record time, more ball tickets have
TRAFFIC on the JCR website                    been sold than for any Downing Ball in history. The
                                              theme this year is Neverland and we frankly can’t wait.
                                              Chances are good that if you’re reading this then you’ll
ATTENDANCE AT SLOPS.
We British know how to queue.                 be going. Make sure to keep your wits about you and
                                              the Griffin editors want to hear EVERYTHING that
                                              goes on at the ball (winkface). Get in touch

RAFFLESIA ARNOLDII
A welcome addition to the
Kenny Lawn
                                               IF YOU CAN’T STAND THE HEAT GET OFF THE
                                               FORUM
         FACEBOOK. Destroying revi-            This term saw possibly the densest flurry of forum
         sion since 2004                       madness in Downing history. The serious topics at
                                               hand – discipline and student/college relations
                                               prompted such gems as “The trouble with friend
         TANNING. Through the library
         windows                               culling is that it contributes to the real issue at hand
                                               here - the Zombie Apocalypse” from our own Lucy
                                               Boyes. Along with insanity the forum spawned in-
         PARTY BOOKING FORMS.                  sight, insult and a lot of acrimony. Identities were
         Because bureaucracy is so             stolen and the Katies dove in from time to time in
         passé                                 vein attempt to calm the frayed nerves. If you have-
                                               n’t checked it out yet its still up in the forum though
                                               you’ll need a good few hours to sift through it all.
         THE NUMBER OF DUCKLINGS               The griffin says 1) If you have grievances then
         left on the Cam after a Downing       please get in touch with the JCR and even college
         M3 outing                             head honchos who are, contrary to popular be-
                                               lief ,human beings just like you and me. 2) Keep up
                                               the good work. Lets keep the forum exciting and get
         THE WALK OF SHAME; now
                                               people talking. Be sure to give us your thoughts on
         horribly illuminated.
                                               ‘The Griffin’ forum thread.




                                                 4
  FRESHER’S – PUTTING THE KEEN BACK INTO WEDDING.
  According to Jewish tradition if rings are exchanged between man and woman, vows are
  said and witnesses present then its religiously binding wedding. So then let us all wish a
  hearty ‘Mazal Tov’ to all the 70 odd new couples of Downing College. Pretty soon wed-
  ding bells will be replaced by the pitter patter of tiny 18 year old feet but till then they can
  still ride the honeymoon high.
      Downing has always prided itself on taking marriage formal seriously but this was
  something else. The traditional veils and button-holes were augmented with live music
  and not a few wedding dresses. After an intimate wedding meal of 100 the happy cou-
  ples rampaged to Butterfield airways for their honeymoon ent. Things got pretty wild; our
  man on the front explained how he saw a group of freshers literally ripping a helium bal-
  loon open with their bare teeth and sucking it dry. New realms of Cambridge hedonism –
  what a disgrace. Those at the dinner also witnessed what can only be described as a
  ‘SHOCKING SIBLING SUCK FEST’ Photos have been omitted for fear of offending gen-
  tler sensibilities, but it involves college siblings, two mouths and two fingers.




TV ROOM WITH A VIEW?
If like the Griffin team you had little clue that there even was a JCR TV room then let
us enlighten you. Its in S staircase and it’s a bit grotty. But all that’s going to change
with a lick of paint and a general refurbishment. If you’ve got any thoughts or bright
ideas then please get in touch with your neighbourhood JCR pres or vice-pres a.k.a.
The Katies. Email addresses on next page.




HOWARD HERALDS HOWARD THEATRE
If, like me, you lived in Howard Court last year then you’ll have had the pleasure of being
woken up at 7am every day of exam term by the beautiful sound of a bloody huge ma-
chine boring 100ft holes in the ground. Less then impressed would be an accurate ap-
praisal of my attitude towards the Howard Theatre. But as the great Leo Tolstoy famously
said: “no one gives a crap what you think, the theatre’s great”. And right he was. The How-
ard theatre is now well on way to completion. Our own sports editor/Vice-Pres attended
the ’topping-out’ ceremony. She had this to say: “we got to check out the sweet leather
imported from Italy that we will be able to perch our bums on hopefully by October”.
The ceremony was attended by non other than Mr Howard himself, the now aged but
beautiful creator of the Very Low Calorie ‘Cambridge Diet’ who looked spiffing in hard hat
and tails.




                                                    5
          Alreet lads!
                                The Junior Combination Room
We’ve had a lovely time so
far sorting out all your problems (and ours). We could spend a long time here telling
you about all the exciting things we get to do as JCR Pres and Vice - and believe us
it can get very exciting at times - but let’s keep it short and sweet with a few of our
personal favourites...
•   JCR Stash is on its way – we voted for a jade green sort of colour despite our
best efforts to make everyone wear bright pink...shame really...
•    JCR Garden Party will be on Thursday 18th June – so get your ticket, it should
be a banging affair with DJ Danny Cycle, free ice cream and inflatable de-
lights...make of that what you will!
•   We found out at the General Purposes Committee that Downing is prepared for
swine flu and other nasty bugs with a large stock of face masks – so don’t panic!
•     We welcomed a new society into the JCR – The Downing Horticultural Society,
which we’re sure will make a big contribution to life in Downing and who knows,
maybe some day soon we’ll see some home grown braised eggplant in slops!
Now who says exam term isn’t fun?! Hope your exams went well and have a fantas-
tic time in May Week!




                                                    Get in
                                                    presid touch:
                                                          e
                                                   vice-p nt@down
                                                         reside     in
                                                                nt@d gjcr.co.uk
                                                                    ownin
                                                                          gjcr.c
                                                                                 o.uk


                                                            The JCR committee in briefs

                                                            The Katies
                                                            Matt; MST
                                                            Lauren & Laurence
                                                            James (Jamma); Jason
                                                            Kat; Andy; Craig ; Tom
                                                            Anthony; Helen
                                                            Dan & Rhemayo
                                                            Timur; Ameera
                                                            Francesca & Harry
                                                            Last and least Aditi & Orlando

                                                            If you don’t know who does what
                                                            go to
                                                            www. downingjcr.co.uk




                                          6
            The ‘stressed’ Downing English fresher by Jemima Middleton

Monday
I wake up as Downing’s contingent of lawyers, medics and natscis troops past my
window. They all look rather anxious- perhaps it’s the terrifying thought of their
looming exams. Yes, that’s probably it. They all carry satchels and rucksacks. How
organised. I make a mental note to buy a nice, over-sized, ostentatious bag to
take to my Shakespeare classes. Ooh, a flowery one. That will look lovely in the
wicker basket of my vintage Raleigh bicycle with retro white seat/handlebars and
rusty framework. I like old things...original things...I am very eccentric and arty in
that way.

                                                                            Tuesday
I get out of bed at noon. I simply cannot survive without my twelve hours. I go to
the Butterfield for a panini, but there is no bread left. The man says “sorry doll,” but
he doesn’t look very sorry. In fact he looks rather cross that I asked for a panini at
all.
       I row in the afternoon. It rains, and I do something called ‘crabbing’ which
makes several people cross. I’m told that I’m ‘letting Downing down.’ I don’t think
rowing is for me.

Wednesday
I check my ‘pigeon hole’ in the P’lodge. My phone rings and I am interrupted mid-
conversation by the porter who looks very angry and waves his arms a lot. Per-
haps he is having a bad day?
      At slops this evening the topic of exams seems to dominate conversation; I
mean, do they have nothing else to talk about? I stay up all night talking with my
friends about our Gap Years. I travelled around India and saved orphans by teach-
ing them about Dubstep and Indie-trance. I also taught them how to back-comb
their hair and work the ‘just-got-out-of-bed-had-a-really-crazy-night’ look. I truly
believe I found myself out there.




                                                                        Meg Atkinson

                                           7
                                                                          Thursday
I realise other people are working. Hmm. Reading in my room is a no-go, I seem
to fall asleep. Reading on the Paddock is much more pleasant, and I can work on
my tan.
        I decide to go out tonight but make the mistake of walking across the gravel
in my new shoes. They are ruined. It’s fine, though, because they were from a
charity shop. I buy most of my clothes from charity shops, so I look unique, be-
cause I’m extremely arty. We go to Kambar, spelt with a ‘K’ because...it’s a bar,
and it’s in CAMbridge? It’s achingly cool inside, lots of wood everywhere...and
they sell lollipops behind the bar. It’s very alternative.

Friday
I attend my first lecture this week doodle for an hour. Coming back to college I
attempt with confidence to cycle through the narrow gateway behind the chapel.
This fails- a very bad morning overall. I discuss my dramas with my flatmates,
drinking Lapsang Souchong while sitting on the floor of our corridor. At 5 o’clock
the medics return. They are unimpressed by my woes. Apparently hangovers and
near-death experiences whilst cycling do not match up to 9-5 lectures and inten-
sive dissection classes. Bewildering, really.




with
Graham Virgo
                                       The senior Tutor who escapes much of the wrath
         that Downing students tend to have for authority figures. His eminence in the
         Law Faculty is combined with a gregarious persona that endears him to the all
         the students he has regular contact with. But what about the music that “defines
         him”, asks Alex O’Leary.
                                           8
What would be your first choice? Well, the first piece of music that I’ve chosen is one
that has a certain significance because it was the first piece of music I remember singing at
school, and that’s Handel’s Zadok the Priest, and I suppose it made an impression be-
cause it was one of the earliest pieces which made me think I could actually sing! Indeed, it
made such an impression, it was a song played at my wedding. Where did you go to
school? I was educated at a school called John Cleveland College in Hinckley, Leicester-
shire; my father was Deputy Headmaster and at the time when I left, back in 1984, it was
one of the largest secondary schools in the country, and I was one of only two students in
my year to go Oxbridge.
Okay, so what about your next choice? My next would be – and you will probably be
able to spot a theme at some point! – Mozart’s Requiem. The main reason for choosing
this is that when I came to Downing in 1984, I began performing in a lot of ‘am dram’ pro-
ductions, both at Downing and further afield at the ADC Theatre, and one of my earlier
roles was in Peter Shaffer’s Amadeus, with Requiem being particularly affecting. Were
there any people then who went on to be “big names”? In terms of the Footlights, not
especially, but one name who did stand out was Sam Mendes, who read English at Peter-
house. Even then, as a director, his plays would sell out in a flash.
Your third choice also has some special significance? Yes, it’s Puccini’s Tosca.
After graduating from Downing, I went to read for a BCL at Christ Church College, Oxford,
before training as a barrister in London, before returning here as a fellow in 1989. My wife,
who was then a grad student at Oxford, applied for a research fellowship in classics at
Downing and got it. I think we’re the only fellows to have married since I’ve been here.
Downing’s clearly been a large part of your life. How does it compare now and
then? Well, physically, it’s certainly very different. We didn’t have the Howard Court ac-
commodation, nor the Maitland Robinson; indeed, the library was in S Staircase. But also,
it’s worth remembering that women had only begun to be admitted four years before I ar-
rived, so there was still a very patriarchal feel to the place perhaps, still very much “a male
bastion”. When I first arrived in 1984, it was very Brideshead Revisited, and as Senior Tu-
tor, you still see it with so many students, even now




                                               9
. Speaking about the job, what do you enjoy about being a Senior Tutor? Because
it’s very much a cyclical job, you never quite know what to expect year on year. You also
don’t quite know what to expect from a group of students year on year either, and that’s
the magic of it. You also find you have to defend students. How do you mean? Well,
claims against ‘dumbing down’ I suppose. I argue very strongly against that. Students
work as hard as they have ever worked, though there is an argument that they are no
more intrinsically bright than previous generations. It’s a difficult balance to strike. Ide-
ally, students would be focussed without missing opportunities, but then we don’t live in
an ideal world!
Now we come to your fourth choice. Well, I’ve picked Flanders and Swann, A Word
on My Ear, and if I could, it would be the version recorded by Sarah Walker. As a stu-
dent, I did a lot of revues in particular. This is a sort of mock-opera where the notes have
to be sung wrongly, but very specifically. Anyone who does a lot of revues would admire
this. A sort of operatic Les Dawson then? (Laughs) You might say that! That was
sort of the atmosphere in the Footlights at the time. It was quite a few years since Emma
Thompson, Stephen Fry et al. Probably the two big names were Henry Naylor and Andy
Parsons (now famous for his appearances on Mock The Week). Naylor was a Down-
ing historian. They were a very big double-act at the time. The Footlights and dramatic
scene in general were doing a lot of revue-type material, which leads me to my next
choice, and that’s Victoria Wood, The Ballad of Barry and Freda (Let’s Do It). If you
were a fan of monologues, and I am, then you would be so envious of what Wood does,
and this is a wonderful example. Clive James always said that he didn’t think Wood
would necessarily succeed were she a Footlights member: what would you say to
that? I can see that. Though the Footlights were incredibly open-minded and willing to
experiment, a lot of Wood is arguably old-fashioned parody, which in the mid- and late-
1980s, might not necessarily have found a massive audience in Cambridge. Neverthe-
less, this is very much part of my dramatic taste.
What is your sixth choice? Again, a theme is apparent: it’s West Side Story, and
though it pains me to select just one, I’d have to select Tonight. It’s a mix of very clever
lyrics, and with Sondheim being joined by Bernstein’s music, it’s… it’s just an incredible
combination. It really is a wonderful musical; it just works, it sucks you into the story and
it has a timeless quality, as much as Romeo and Juliet does. I’d also put in an honour-
able mention for Officer Krupke, which I would recommend to young law students if they
wanted to explain certain cases of crime.
Your seventh choice is also a musical? Yes, it’s I Dreamed a Dream from Les Miser-
ablés, though again, it’s so hard to choice just one. I selected a Les Miserablés song
partly because it was the first musical I took my daughter to see, probably about three
years ago now. She’s fourteen, and I can say that she came through the High School
Musical phase – thankfully! But again, it’s a wonderful story. I actually came to Hugo’s
novel after seeing the musical, and though it’s hard work in places, it is still absolutely
stunning.
It’s time for your final choice. Is it another song from a musical? Not quite. Well, I
fear I’ll start to lose street cred for this, but my final selection is Barry Manilow, I Can’t
Smile Without You. When I’m not researching or teaching, I perform in a pantomime
every year. The last one was Jack and the Beanstalk, and I had to sing this song. I think
lawyers might have seen this clip on youtube as well. But being serious, if you were
stuck on a desert island, I feel that you’d need good memories to ward off the blues and I
certainly think this fits the bill. Pantomime and theatre in general is a fantastic way to get


                                              10
away from reality and enjoy yourself, unpretentious good fun!
So there are your eight pieces, and I certainly detected a theme. But what about your
luxury item and the book you’d choose to take were you stranded on a desert island?
Well, whenever I listen to this on Radio 4, I’m always amazed that they pick some wonder-
fully weird items. If I were going, I think I’d want an unlimited supply of soft toilet paper. If
that’s a bit extravagant, I’d be happy with a toothbrush. Regarding a book, I sort of had
three choices: something very boring, which would be the law books I’ve still not read;
something very highbrow, probably George Eliot, which I feel is a gap in my education.
However, I’ve decided to be lowbrow and stick to the theme of am-dram. I would like to
take a compendium of Alan Ayckbourn plays. It’s a curious one because he’s very under-
rated, at least critically, and yet very popular. Admittedy, there’s been some rubbish, but I
went to see Norman Conquest at the Old Vic Theatre, and it was fantastic.
I don’t think I can argue against those choices, though I’m sure the Alan Ayckbourn
selection takes some liberties! Nevertheless, Professor Virgo, that concludes your
Desert Island Discs!




                                                11
Downing College Political Poll

Jenny Marshall forces Downing to burst the bubble
and admit they are aware of the outside world
Here are the political voices of the students of Downing! We asked peoples opin-
ions on the following statements about Britain’s position within the EU, the eco-
nomic crisis and the contentious issue of which party should govern the UK
1. The UK should politically integrate more with Europe
2. The current economic crisis has hit students harder than any other so-
cial group
3. The Conservatives would do a better job at running the country than the
current Labour government
     The EU is clearly an issue which divides Downing students, with exactly 50%
     supporting increased integration. Those who supported political integration
     posited reasons of greater security on the international stage and being a
     more powerful force capable of challenging America and China. Those who
     disagreed tended to be averse to the idea of handing over even more political



                                                   Fence sitters
                1


                 Don’t even go
                 there                                 Defo!




      sovereignty to Brussels and that the position the UK currently has within the EU is
      working well, making further integration unnecessary.


      There is a general consensus amongst Downing students that students are not
      suffering as much as other social groups as a result of the economic crisis..
      Though many students acknowledged that the full force of the downturn may hit
      once we have graduated and are searching for jobs.. Sad times.


  There is a definite split over whether the Conservatives or Labour would be better at
                                             12
                            Fence sitters            Defo!

                2

                                    Don’t even go
                                    there




running the country, with 53% backing Labour to do a better job. It is worth noting that
the more moderate positions of ‘agree’ and ‘disagree’ were equal but that a greater
number of people were ‘strongly opposed’ to the idea of the Conservatives doing a
better job. I guess Downing’s magenta is a little more red than blue.




          3
                                              Fence sitters


                     Don’t even
                     go there
                                             Defo!




                                             13
With May-Week culture so centred around drinking, Jack Rivlin and
 George Marangos-Gilks question where this leaves our society

“If you want a picture of the future, imag- has become the way we interact, it is the
ine a boot stamping on a human face – social glue which binds us .
forever.” Look at your local Wetherspoons          But who can blame Britain? Your
or taxi rank at 3 o’ clock on a Saturday average citizen works a 40 hour week in
morning, and you will see this Orwellian a soul-sapping job to earn enough money
metaphor in action. You probably will see to live. And why not spend the rest on
someone’s face being kicked in by a bald, yourself, why not work so that for two
right-wing soldier who wants nothing nights a week, you can forget how devoid
more than to give them “BOOZE HAS BECOME of meaning your life is? But
a taste of the Helmund THE WAY WE INTERACT, Cambridge students aren’t av-
Province. But you will IT IS THE SOCIAL GLUE erage citizens. Cambridge stu-
also see hundreds of             WHICH BINDS US”       dents are among the brightest
Britons enjoying their                                 people in the world and yet our
Friday ‘freedom’ –                                     desire to put free time to use-
splurging their wages on cheap drinks so less ends is quite astounding. In our free
they can get off their faces . And good time, we drink to escape the pressures of
luck to them, I say. Whether or not I get work. But drinking in Cambridge has been
battered and wake up feeling like I’ve just rationalized .
had chemotherapy on a grey Sunday
morning is my choice. The problem,
though, is that it’s not really a choice any
more.
       Tell someone that they are an ad-
dict and you can expect the usual ‘it’s
only an addiction when it’s stopping me
living my life.’ Fine. But have you ever
considered that this might be because
alcohol is your life? I don’t mean that you
wake up every evening and drink last
night’s Glen Morangie like a redundant
Father Christmas. Rather, we can’t so-
cialise without alcohol. I’m not addicted to
alcohol. The only problem is I can’t stop
drinking it, and neither can you. We may
not be physically dependent, but booze

                                       14
to the extent that it’s not even about es- tance. We all love showing how quickly
caping any more                               we can down a pint, and we all love talk-
         Don’t get me wrong, I love getting ing about how much of a dick we were
off my face. But in Cambridge, drinking is last night. But in reality, being able to
not a means of achieving escape; it is a drink a lot says more about your Body
symbol of sociability. Getting drunk is Mass Index than your social skills.
what we do when we go out, it’s the me-              Drinking societies act as vehicles
dium through which we socialize and en- for swaps and parties with other societies
joy ourselves. We can’t meet people and therefore are a useful way of meet-
unless we are drunk, we can’t shag peo- ing people, but also as a
ple unless we are drunk, we can’t really shortcut to indicate social
be ourselves unless we are drunk. It fol- worth. Drinking societies
lows that the more pissed we were, the must rank as one of the least
more fun we had. Equally, the individual rebellious methods of juve-
who can drink the most, must be the nile organization since the
most fun and socially desirable.              Hitler youth. They wear uni-
But where is the fun when it’s every day, form, they have strict rules
always the same? When you can’t re- and they never get in trouble.
member what happened last night, and
you don’t even know the people you
vomit with every evening, are you really
doing it for yourself anymore? Aldous
Huxley got it right: “How desperately
bored, in spite of their grim determination
to have a Good Time, the majority of
pleasure-seekers really are.” There is a
false association between alcohol and
having a good time. Although being
drunk is often fun, it is not a guarantee of
enjoyment. Boozing is a ritual that we
complete in order to socialize. Alcohol
lowers our inhibitions, making it easier to
meet people and be the outrageous char-
acter that everyone loves. The problem is
that booze has taken on a significance of
its own so the very act of drinking in itself
gives people licence to act in an outgoing
and uninhibited way, above and beyond
the actual physical effects of the drug.
Alcohol is not only a way to enjoy your-
self; it’s a way to tell others you’re enjoy-
ing yourself.
         More obviously, drinking is becom-
ing the main way of demonstrating social
worth, and we are drinking because we
have to. There is nothing intrinsically cool
about drinking, anyone can do it, but eve-
ryone considers it a mark of social impor-
                                            15
                The social esteem of drink- a legal right. Guidelines daily amounts
                ing societies is entirely de- and advertising campaigns miss the
                pendent on the way they point that this culture runs far deeper
                are perceived by other stu- than a lack of awareness.
                dents, from their friends to        “Drink but don’t get drunk” is a
                people who probably don’t pointless contradiction. There’s no point
                know who they are. That in drinking if you’re not going to enjoy
                their image is derived from the effects. But alcohol isn’t freedom
                the opinions of others goes when it’s this systematic. We are a class
                a long way to explaining of academic machines, and we have
                why individuals feel the applied our ruthlessly rational working
                need to join. While these style to the way we relax and socialize.
                societies serve many useful In pursuit of animalistic abandon, we
                functions, the way in which have built a zoo. Booze allows us to es-
                they are revered, and the cape the everyday monotony of social
                mixture of arse-licking and inhibitions and bank balances, but it also
                authoritarian interaction that subdues and conceals our personality.
                occurs both within and be- Drinking should never be an end in itself,
                tween them, suggests that it should always be secondary to the
                it’s the angry soldier at the actual social occasion. It can destroy
                taxi rank who should be sensations we don’t want to experience,
                getting the MA (cantab.). but it can never create anything.
                Try the following exercise                      FIN
                when you next go home:
                propose to your friends that
                you now all wear a uniform
                when socializing, be pun-
ished for failing to drink, and adopt se-
cret rules and nicknames. Or, more
pointedly, try doing the same but the
criterion for membership is not drinking,
but how much you can eat, sleep, or
perform any other biological function.
Drinking societies are the zenith of Cam-
bridge’s alcoholic social world.
        But it’s not our fault. The world we
live in is so devoid of meaning and iden-
tity, people have little else to do. And
this is equally true of Cambridge. In the
bubble of 8 week terms where achieving
a 2:2 merits a disciplinary meeting, it’s
hardly surprising that all Cantabrigians
want to do is escape it all. Just as the
state’s attempts to financially penalise
us for choosing to drink arouse drunken
responses, so too does the insistence of
University and college authorities to re-
strict adult students’ means of exercising
                                             16
          Sarah Cobley takes us on a whistle-stop tour of ‘the good old days’

This Easter working downing telephone campaign I realised I was going to put myself through the
possible brain cell–sapping tedium of a job in what is essentially a call centre, Anyway, you wouldn’t
believe the kind of conversations we had with the old alumni dudes. (not many dudettes, unfortu-
nately). Tales from the days before the advent of the Tompkins table. One gent told me he came up
for ‘a nice chat and a walk round’ with the admissions tutor, who then informed him he could come
here, and ‘oh, by the way, my young fellow, which subject do you think you might like to study?’
       The highlight of the campaign was hearing about all the high jinks that used to go on in the
past, some of which would definitely put today’s dourer, career-obsessed students to shame.




                                              Back in the days when the college was men-only,
One alumnus described how, with a
                                              undergraduate members used to have communal
friend, he used to explore the drains,
                                              showers in a shower block located behind T stair-
underground tunnels and sewers (yuck!)
                                              case. As there was nowhere to hang their clothes
of Downing, as a bit of a hobby. But as
                                              in the shower block, students would quickly un-
he explained, they didn’t go down any-
                                              dress in a room in T and then dash out of the back
thing that led under the paddock as
                                              of the staircase to the showers. Apparently, the
(according to him) some horses that had
                                              then Master’s wife used to take great delight in
died of anthrax poisoning had been bur-
                                              standing at an upstairs window in the Master’s
ied there a long time ago and they
                                              Lodge and admiring all the naked young men run-
feared the ground might still be infected
                                              ning past!
with anthrax!




One unfortunate young man became the butt of many jokes when, after a heavy night of drink-
ing in the pub, his friend jokingly bet him that he couldn’t walk from where they were in Downing
Street back to college in a perfectly straight line. He remembers promptly setting off, climbing
the fence into the Downing Site and climbing up the first building he came to, but not much
more. The next day he awoke on the roof of a Downing site laboratory, having passed out while
climbing over it, with the building surrounded by emergency services staff and someone implor-
ing him, with the aid of a megaphone, ‘It’s OK! Don’t jump!




Though many of these things went on back in the days when grades were of little importance and
you needed nothing more than to have gone to the right school to be able to get on in life, I think a
remark that one alumnus made to me rings very true: ‘But my dear, Downing is about so much
more than just work!’
                                                 17
                              Cranworth-Almas Daud
Number of members: 61
Events this term: The prestigious Cranworth Annual Dinner that is attended by
many judges, barristers and solicitors from varying legal areas. This year is going
to be particularly impressive with two House of Lord's judges. We are also holding
the annual Cranworth garden party during May week.
Cranworth in one sentence: Lawyers working and partying hard.
Motto: “I have no clue” (response given by Almas in lieu of a motto)
Favourite courtroom drama: Legally Blonde... the reason we all applied!!




                                      Blake
            Number of events this year: 0
            Current status: Having had one glorious year of exis-
            tence the Downing Arts society Blake has fallen into
            considerable disrepair. Luckily Laurence Feeny and
            Emma Ramsay are picking up the baton. If you have
            artsty inclinations (you don’t have to be studying an ‘art’) and want a hand
            in reviving Blake then get in touch
            Emma: er331@cam.ac.uk; Laurence: lf293@cam.ac.uk




                       Whitby - Ali Hardy
number of members:79
number of events this term: 2 - annual dinner and garden
party
sum up whitby in one sentence: Great society to get to know
all the Medics+Vets in Downing and be able to discuss dissec-
tion without people running away!
Whitby motto :Vincit qui patitur (He who endures, wins)
number one reason to be a whitby member: Our crazy libation rituals
over the grave on the paddock!!
your favourite medical drama: House



                                         18
  We are all of us lying on the paddock,
  but some of us are looking at the stars
You may know him for his services, or maybe for his doughnut – but how much do you know
about Reverend Keith Eeyon’s nocturnal activities with a telescope? Well in a Griffin exlcusive
the head of Downing Astronomical society tells all about life through the lens at Downing Astro-
nomical Society



People often sit on the Chapel steps dur-       we’ve had a good view of Venus, which
ing the daytime in the summer and enjoy         looked like a bright star to the naked eye
the view of our beautiful College, but it       but appeared as a thin crescent when
usually comes as a surprise to discover         seen through the telescope.
that it’s also a very good vantage point        If you’d like to join the Astronomical Soci-
after dark for looking out into space. The      ety email list and receive news of when
orange glow from the city lights interferes     the telescope will be used, just send me
with our view of faint nebulae and galax-       an email.
ies, but the Moon and the planets are           Keith Eyeons
bright enough to be seen very well. From        kje11@cam.ac.uk
just outside the Chapel, there’s a view of
the sky to the south, east and west that’s
amazingly free of obstructions for a city
centre location. And the College owns a
powerful portable telescope that’s ideal
for giving high-magnification views of the
stars and planets.
Astronomy is one of my favourite hob-
bies, and I especially love seeing peo-
ple’s faces light up with astonishment
when they get their first view through a
telescope. The craters of the Moon and
the rings of Saturn are the things which
are most likely to make people say
‘Wow!’ The picture here is one which I
took with my own telescope at home in
April, showing that we’re seeing Saturn’s
rings almost edge-on at the moment.
Over the next few years, as the planet
continues its 29-year orbit around the
Sun, we’ll see the rings from a steeper
angle and they will gradually appear
more prominent. This year we’ve also
had a good look at Jupiter and four of its
moons. We watched while Europa, which
takes only three and a half days to orbit       Photo of Saturn taken by Keith
Jupiter, passed in front of the planet. And
                                                19
HIGH SOCIETY
Yes you’ve read all the interesting bits of our wonderful magazine but there
are still twenty minutes before your DoS meeting and by god you’re not go-
ing to be reduced to making polite conversation with your neighbours. So
here it is, the societies section. American essayist, playwright and novelist
James Arthur Baldwin once said that “Society is held together by our need;
we bind it together with legend, myth, coercion, fearing that without it we
will be hurled into that void, within which, like the earth before the Word was
spoken, the foundations of society are hidden.” And that’s the exact senti-
ment by which Downing treats its own societies. So lets take a sneaky peek
at the myth and coercion that have been taking place over the last year in
Downing’s societies




Starting with the proud tribe of
Academic societies we give you a
snapshot of society life in Down-
ing as well as a starry-eyed exclu-
sive. Exam term is traditionally
light on the societies front so that
is the theme of this societies sec-
tion (see note below)




 Important note: If you discover to your shock and horror that the society you
 love and are involved in running is not mentioned in these hallowed pages then
 please accept our humblest apologies. So that this never happens again make
 sure to get in touch with the Griffin editors (email on inside cover) and let us
 know who you are. We want to represent every single Downing society and for
 that we need your help.
                                        20
                                                        Maitland-Matt Cooper
                        number of members: 31
                        number of events this term: This term? We have one big event involving a massive
                        meal in the Maitland Room and historical fancy dress.
                        sum up Maitland in one sentence: History, wine, talks, dinners, fancy dress, pizza,
                        trips and beautiful people: living in the past was never this good.
 agazine but there      motto: Yesterday never dies
god you’re not go-      number one reason to be a Maitland member: Historical fancy dress!
                        Your favourite historical drama/film: For the scene where Sir Wal-
                        ter Raleigh inexplicably ploughs a burning galleon into the Spanish
ight and novelist       flagship whilst leaping from the deck on a white stallion, it has to be
ther by our need;       Elizabeth: The Golden Age.

fore the Word was

ake a sneaky peek
                     Slices of the keen pie...

                      Cranworth. Often seen
                                                                                       Come to the bar after Maitland
                      leafing through the law
                                                                                       dinner for the largest gathering
                      books in their nifty pur-
                                                                                       of drunken historical figures in
                      ple and black apparel
                                                                                       all of time. This ragtag bunch
                                                                                       wrote the book on keen.,


                     Whitby: their invitations
                     are snazzy and they          :
                     can really throw a din-
                     ner


                      Blake: nuff said                                         The garden party



                                                      Danby-Orlando de Lange
                                         Number of members – about 250
                                         Number of events this term – 3
                                         Sum up Danby in one sentence: we’re scientists, but
                                         cooler (honestly, maybe, who are we kidding)
                                         Motto: I heart Danby
                                         Number one reason to be a Danby member: The amazing talks! (actually it’s the
                                         free Garden party, but as chairman I have to say talks),
                                         Your favourite scientist: Randolph Kirkpatrick – thought every rock in the world
                                         was made out of microscopic fossils called Numulites – what a crazy bastard.




                                                                        21
                      Fair Play-Jenny Marshall
You may have not heard much about the Fairtrade society recently
but the new reps Jemima, Jenny and Sarah hope to raise the profile of
the Fairtrade society in Downing. We’ve got plans for a whole range of
events from Fairtrade foods outside the library to formals to pub quiz-
zes. We really hope you’ll support the Fairtrade society in the coming
year as it is such a good cause and should be a lot of fun as well!




   Amnesty-Orlando de Lange &
          Sarah Cobley
   This has been a term unlike any other for Downing Amnesty. By that I
   mean we’ve had less letter-writing than usual. If you haven’t had the
   chance to come yet letter-writing is the bread and butter of what Amnesty
   do. Amnesty send us info on people who’s lives and rights are in jeop-
   ardy. We read this info and write letters to actual government officials. It’s
   great fun to have a go at the Brazilian Justice Minister or whoever it hap-
   pens to be and what’s more it works. Cambridge graduate Roxanna Sa-
   beri was imprisoned in Iran in April on trumped up charges of espionage.
   The huge grass-roots movement to ensure her freedom, involving Am-
   nesty in a big way led to her release in May. In May week we’re gonna
   have some ‘funky fresh’ letter-writing sessions with a difference. So
   come along (email orad2@cam.ac.uk to get added to the mailing list.




                                       22
The griffin gives you….

      Top Ten Tips for
        May Week
1.    If you’re out of cups at your
      fully college endorsed and form
      -filled party head to the library         Oh to be a fly-on-the-wall in the
      and stock up on conical cups.             p’lodge. The funny things the
      Perfect for everything except             porters must see and hear. Tori
      for supporting themselves on a            Hermon asked them for the
      flat surface.                             One young dandy laying out ten red envelopes
2.    Cheap is great but ‘Basics’ la-           on the fourteenth of February; writing
      ger is a step too far.                    ‘S.W.A.K’ on the backs of all and proceeding to
3.    Pick up your dress from Sally             distribute them randomly amongst the pigeon-
      Ann’s for the ‘vintage’ look.             holes, only to be met with squeals of delight
4.    Save time at the ball, vom on             and much confused gossip the afternoon after.
      your dress beforehand
5.    Maximise your Pimm’s intake               One girl, having got locked out of the college,
                                                trying to remember the code to get in. She
      with such delights as Pimm’s
                                                was then reminded by the Porters that there
      on toast.                                 was no code, the door could only be unlocked
6.    Pissing yourself is not ‘jokes’           by a key, which all students had. She pro-
7.    Punting is great fun as long as           ceeded to sit on the pavement, laughing so
      someone in the group knows                hard that…she wet herself…
      how to punt. Hint for the row-
      ers: the big stick is not an oar.         An old organ scholar bolting across the pad-
8.    The Cam is shallow and disease            dock in his socks and boxers, in the torrential
      -filled. Don’t jump in.                   rain, at four o’clock in the morning…he had
                                                locked himself out!
9.    Guys: whatever you do don’t
      give your jacket away to a nice-          A fellow insisting his key wouldn’t work, then
      looking girl at the ball. Chivalry        that the spare wouldn’t work. He was then
      is great but hypothermia isn’t.           informed by the Porter that the keys had to be
10.   Girls: whatever you do find a             held a certain way, insisting that the Porter
      dress that you can wear without           was being stupid the said fellow made him
      heels. Elegance is great but              return to his room to unlock it himself ‘if he was
      10cm pus-filled blisters aren’t.          so clever’….Voila! It worked…the porter never
                                                got an apology.




                                           23
              Griffin
       Sport                                  Downing College’s Sports Round-up

   The Griffin’s own sports editor has poked and proded in all the right places
   to extract the ups downs, highs lows and crazed antics of Downing sport
   over the last term. But first, she gives us a nod to Downing’s top dogs



                       A Case of the Blues?
Most definitely not when it comes to the     for her prowess in the water, and Corley
Downing sports men and women who             bagging himself a blue, smashing a record
have represented this University over the
past year, and there is certainly not a
shortage of those sporting elite within Col-
lege – this is an opportunity to pay homage
to the beautiful athletes who spend so
much of their time muddied, kitted, booted
and soaking wet through in the name of
Cambridge University Sport.

Kicking off with C.U.W.R.F.C and our girls
Lucy ‘Chuey’ Chumas and Lucy ‘70/30’
Hartwell, who both started for the Blues in
this years Women’s Rugby Varsity Match
against the Premiership Oxford side on
March 7th....and how they made fools of       or two in the process. Continuing with the
that Oxford side. Not only in the way they    pool theme, Jen McCleod managed to find
smashed them up, took them down and           time outside her schedule of getting into
swung from the opposition’s necks, but the    Harvard to Captain the Water Polo team to
Cambridge girls were just generally much      victory this year, and at the same time kept
fitter (bufftings), with Chuey and ‘60/40’    her title of ‘best goal keeper’ in Cambridge
being the highlights for many of the crowd    League Netball – Ryan Harper doesn’t
– the Downing part of the crowd anyway.       fancy his chances against her lean any-
Cambridge won in case you were inter-         way.
ested.
                                              Keeping it succinct now, we also saw Sa-
                                              rina Williams and Katie ‘Brutal’ Marshall
Moving on to the swimming, which I still      give a steller performance for C.ambridge
get a bit too excited about when I think of   U.niversity N.etball T.eam; Anthony
it, we had Natalie Moores representing for    Crutchett proved how handy he was with
the ladies and Andrew Corley for the men      a sabre and was voted MVP in the Univer-
– Mooresy achieving yet another accolade      sity Championships; Claire Palmer, Rose-

                                         24
mary Pringle and Tim Pattison between          of you, and those who give up so much
them could have partaken in every athlet-      time in the name of college sport, The
ics event imaginable, but thought it would     Griffins Club are eternally grateful for giv-
be nice to let others have a go; Georgie       ing Downing such a great sporting name.
Hurt managed to get away from her Eng-
land La Crosse Commitments for a short




while to beat Oxford; Jonny Knight and
Jenny Stevens played first s Hockey,
while Sarah Donaldson and Nuala Tu-
melty got colours for their 2nds participa-
tion – Nuala Tumelty also casually getting
a Blue in Trampolining in her spare time.
The Varsity season also saw James
‘Woody’ Winward and Mat Lleung dab-
bling in a bit of Uni Football and the start
of the Cricket season has seen the disap-
pearance of Fergus Baker and Tom
Marsh.

And of course there are others who have
sacrificed social lives, friends and de-
grees to do what they do best, and to all




                                                                         Griffin
                                               25                  Sport
     Griffin
SportAt Downing you can never have too many Griffins.
     Clare Palmer gives us the low down on our sportier
     counterparts….

It has been another fantastically success-       For the first time the Garden Party will
ful year so far for The Griffins Club, both      also include the awarding of “The Griffins’
out on the sports fields and on the social       Prize” to the “Griffins of the Year” in addi-
scene. Highlights include: men’s 1st team        tion to the traditional awarding of College
football becoming champions of the top           Colours and Griffins Membership. Contact
division, the ladies’ 1st netball team also      Clare (griffinsjpresident@gmail.com )for
achieved this feat, and narrowly missed          further details. Also watch out for the
out in the Cuppers final, the Downing            “Griffins Cocktails” event put on by the
women’s athletics team retained their            Griffins in Michaelmas for all of Downing
Cuppers title, the men’s first rugby team        to enjoy!
reached the semi final of cuppers, unfortu-
nately missing out on a place in the final,
and the women’s hockey 1st team are yet
to play their Cuppers final clash with
John’s so watch this space. This year
we’ve already had ten blues and twelve
half-blues awarded to Downing sports
people. Talk about Downing Domination!
Even with the season unfinished, Downing
Sport already has much to celebrate, in
the Griffins Garden Party in May week.
 ‘Barry looking exceptionally suave in the Downing colours at the annual Griffins’ Dinner 2009.’




                                                    26
         Guys Football                          blips), earning the right to take home the
                                                worlds smallest cup.
             Patrick Sheriff
                                                The 2nd and 3rds, for their part, both
                                                achieved high finishes in their respective
                                                leagues, challenging for promotion, with
                                                the 3rds also reaching a cup final, only to
                                                have their hope dashed by a display of
                                                maverick goalkeeping, by a certain famous
                                                alumnus, which will not be forgotten for
                                                some time.
                                                From all at the club, thanks to all those
                                                who took the time to watch, we hope you
                                                can make it next year to support our new
                                                captains (Tom Marsh, Chris Vibert and
                                                Parkesy) to further glory.

                                                DCAFC til’ I die,
                                                (Photos James Lomas)

The 2008-9 season was a triumph for
DCAFC as whole, with the 1st XI winning
the top league in College Football, while
the 2nd and 3rd teams also
performed admirably.

Under the stewardship of club captain
James Winward, the first team made a
flying start to the season on their return to
Division 1. With a near perfect record in
the first half of the season (aside from a
penalty-related Cuppers atrocity against
Jesus which I am loathe to talk about), the
team took the league by the scruff of the
neck, meting out lessons in 'pass 'n' move'
football to such heavyweights as Johns,
Christs and Trinity. Things took a turn for
the worse after Christmas, however, when
a loss of form lead to bore draws against a
retinue of minnows, threatening a well
earned position at the top of the league.
After a 2nd defeat on penalties in the plate
to Pembroke (who are shit), DCAFC 1st XI
were left needing a result on the final day
of the season, playing 2nd place Jesus. In a
performance reminiscent of the Somme,
Downing won out 3-1 (despite a couple of



                                                                              Griffin
                                                27                     Sport
               Griffin
       Sport                                         tarnished by the fact that, yet again, we had
           Girls Football                            only managed to beat a team with less players
          Katie Brown (Captian 08-09)                on the pitch than us, we were just elated and
                                                     relieved that we’d managed to actually end our
Our season got off to the best start we could        goal scoring drought.
have possibly envisaged, with promotion to the              A massive thanks to Hannah McFarland
  nd
2 division after annihilating Sidney Sussex 12 and Melissa Law, our VC and Social sec re-
– 2…yes, they had a few less players than we spectively, and good luck to the new commit-
did but once we were sure we would take              tee, Dora, Jenni and Heidi, who, this is the nic-
home the victory, we allowed them to ‘borrow’        est way of putting it, get to start of next season
a couple of our players in the name of sports-       with a clean slate and nothing to lose.
manship.
         However, this peak proved to be merely
the edge of a trough; a long, deep trough, with
a win evading us for around 5 games due to
pulled muscles, torn ligaments, and the un-
timely departure of our for-
eign signing Izzy Smith,
possibly the only player on
the team who could be de-
scribed as having ‘bare
skillz’. We were knocked out
of Cuppers and the Plate on
our first attempts and just
generally humiliated by
teams much better than us
in the division we had just
moved up to – but we were
not about to roll over and let
beastly women rob us of our
pride for much longer.
         The Lent term saw a
new spark to team play,
with the recruitment of key
players such as Heidi Holmes and Steph Da-
vies, who could actually take corners and free
kicks, joining the ranks alongside the likes of
Rachael Eaton and her amazing goal keeping
skills (though she wasn’t even keeper) and the
new Captain Dora Coventry, who had finally
learned the off-side rule (essential for a striker).
         Losses turned to draws, draws….well,
we kept drawing for a bit, then finally, FI-
NALLY, in the final match of the season, we
won, and what a win it was – we thrashed the
other team 6 – 0 despite their aggressive man-
ners and dirty mouthed Spanish Centre-Mid
(who called me a ‘Cono’, pronounced ‘conyo’, a
couple of times), and saved ourselves from the
embarrassment of relegation. The win wasn’t
                                               28
          Netball (08-09)                           skirts (Christine has the best calves in Cam-
                                                    bridge). No other team had the unforgiving
A message from the outgoing captain
                                                    brutality of Sarina Williams, and no other team
                                                    was led by Katie ‘Perfect 10’ Marahall. In all,
 ‘It’s been another great season for Downing
                                                    we have the best team in Cambridge, not just
Netball, with the girls 1st team retaining the
                                                    regards skill but in EVERY way possible.
league title, and remaining undefeated; and
the 2nd team proving their worth, staying up in
                                               The mixed teams have had an equally impres-
the top division after their promotion last sea-
                                               sive season in the top division, led by the Korf-
son. It really is a testament to everyone in the
                                               balling phenomenon that is Anthony ‘The
netball club that we are the only college in the
                                               Mess’ Hitchin, snatching the double with a
university to have both teams in the top divi-
                                               league and cuppers win – the first teams
sion – long may it continue!’
                                               toughest component being our very own sec-
                                               onds team, who made it to the quarter finals of
The Cuppers tournament saw the merger of
     st                                        Cuppers only to be knocked out by the Down-
the 1 s and the 2nds teams, creating a Netball
                                               ing Big Guns, who had the likes of Tom ‘I’m
                                                                  probably the best netballer
                                                                  in Cambridge’ Marsh on the
                                                                  team.

                                                                      With such success yet again
                                                                      for the Netball club this sea-
                                                                      son, and such great leader-
                                                                      ship displayed from the
                                                                      three captains Katie, Chris-
                                                                      tine and Ant, the Captains
                                                                      elect have a lot to live up to
                                                                      – including Brutal’s rack.



dominating machine; our sole goal to win that
big, shiny cup so we could all sip Champagne
from it at our Annual dinner. However, the suc-
cess we had in the League was not to be real-
ised in Cuppers, and victory was cruelly
snatched away from us in the dying minutes of
the final against Trinity (I say dying minutes,
the match was only 3 minutes each way, with
no time to rip anything unfortunately). Yet the
smug faces of Trinity didn’t stay long etched in
the Captains’ minds once they began to remi-
nisce on the season we’d had, and the com-
mitment that had been shown. No other team
would have their girls out performing the oppo-
sition with sprained ankles and twisted knees.
No other team would have girls show up after
drinking from the Cam, or after crashing their
bike on the way to a game, still out of it from
the night before (not that they proved much
help). No other team looks so good in tiny
                                                                            Griffin
                                                   29                Sport
                Griffin
       Sport
                                                 flair, a questionable grasp of the Spanish

       RUGBY                                     tongue by our enthusiastic no. 7 and an-
                                                 other D.C.R.U.F.C. win later, the DOTs
                                                 were sat in a local ‘clubhouse’ socialising
                                                 with our illustrious opponents. (Note:
Aside from retaining our first division status
                                                 speaking a broken form of English with a
for another year and reaching the semi-
                                                 dodgy accent is no help whatsoever in
final of Cuppers for the first time in over
                                                 communicating with non-English speakers
five, the main highlight of the D.C.R.U.F.C.
                                                 – think about it!). We must thank Rugbi
season has been this year’s tour to Spain.
                                                 Farners Bandoles for organising the match
Spain, a notorious rugby playing nation,
                                                 and their hospitality thereafter.
famed for producing such revered talent as
Oriol Ripol and Francisco Puertas Soto,
                                                 I’d like to now take this opportunity to men-
was always going to be a tough ask for
                                                 tion a few more highlights of, what was a
any touring side. With its sweltering tem-
                                                 ‘totally, insanely awesome’ tour. There
peratures, sandy beaches and vibrant
                                                 were the bumper cars, the brothel, the
nightlife, the unfamiliar conditions were
                                                 brand names, the hamster wheels, Ben-
always going to be a huge factor in
                                                 nett’s moves, Feeney’s ‘Hulk complex’,
D.C.R.U.F.C.’s success, or failure, on the
                                                 mental McWhirter, Barker versus Dibble,
continent.
                                                 ants, Sharky, schoolboy, the bill, 4-pint
                                                 glasses, karaoke, Barcelona, the cow kick-
With a depleted squad, featuring some
                                                 ing Nelly in the belly in the barn, the bar-
new but familiar faces, our first action was
                                                 maid (beautiful), Rhemayo’s new friend,
to find a local eatery to satisfy our hungry
                                                 the hen party, Winzor, police, Nathan, po-
and well travelled stomachs. This was
                                                 diums, novelty sunglasses, the ‘John’,
never going to be a hard task in Spain
(Lloret de mar to be precise), the home of
paella, gazpacho, tapas etc. However, like
true ‘dads on tour’ (which I shall refer to as
DOTs) we decided that a Chinese (which I
shall refer to as a ‘Cheeky Halford’) was
more in order. Following an epic meal and
the club ‘endearing’ itself to a lovely little
Irish family, we hit the town looking for co-
pious amounts of dad juice, jus d’homme,
cold’n’golden…you know the stuff!

Fast forward several hours. Having as-
sessed the temperature of the outdoor
swimming pool and ‘acquainted’ ourselves
with the night security at our hotel, George
(not the angry, curly haired one!), it was
time for our first rugby match. A pre-match
vom, abundant amounts of unnecessary
                                            30
“CHICKEN PAKORA!”, Burger King, flatu-
lence, nudity, Dirk, boring skip, the ex-
change rate, “doing horrible things”, deep
heat, cycling shorts, the children’s play-
ground, squirty cream, the kinky granny,
‘girls, pints or parties’, the bar owners
‘website’, glass smashing, the mullet and
Jane. If there is one woman, for whom all
the DOTs hold a flame, it is Jane. So,
Jane, if by some unlikely set of circum-
stances you are reading this, the club
passes on its love.
I could go into more detail about some of
the events listed above, but we didn’t sign
a party booking form for all of them, so we
may get into a spot of trouble. Till next
year!

I am Rich Bennett!

Derbert (Rhemayo Brooks)




                                                Griffin
                                          31   Sport
    DCU
Easter term is always a challenging time         lar socials also did an excellent job of
for sport in Cambridge, as teams find their      breaking up revision, and we eagerly await
players sucked into the hungry maw of            the team annual dinner as well as our last
revision, an offering for the wrathful Exam      fixture of the season. Then it's back home,
Gods. Ultimate Frisbee is no different.          looking forward to another year of frisbee
However, the intercollegiate league contin-      with the promise of many new faces join-
ues well into the Easter term. With this in      ing in October. And remember, frisbee
mind, a brave few have regularly dragged         always has space for hard-bitten Downing
themselves from the library to uphold            veterans looking to try something new out
Downing honour on the frisbee pitch.             on the Paddock, and possibly even on the
                                                 pitch!
From having two teams last term, we were
forced to downsize and only enter one
team into the league this term as exam
pressures mounted. However, a good mix
of freshers and second years graced the
pitch as we battled our way through oppo-
nents.

Our first match-up of the term found us
with only seven players - so no substi-
tutes, known as “iron man” in a sport
where your team is usually double the
number of your players on the pitch -
against a horde of pink-shirted Churchill
players. However, it was a good match
with strong play from both sides, and de-
spite Churchill's victory set a positive tone
for the rest of the games this season.
Downing's team coordination and enthusi-
asm was evident in all of our matches,
carrying us to victory against Pembroke
and providing stiff competition to St.
John's and New Thundercatz.

This term has definitely been an enjoyable
one for frisbee, as running around after a
plastic disc with your friends and oppo-
nents is best done in sunshine. Our regu-


                                                32
                    Griffin
  Sport                   boaties corner

DCBC's preparation for bumps is once         ing prowess on the field can be adapted
again coming together, with regattas         just as effectively on the water. With
being won both in Cambridge and fur-         many of the rowers returning after last
ther afield.                                 year's exciting
                                             campaign they are sure to build on their
The 1st Men's boat had a fantastic win       previous success. There has also been
at Dorney Rowing Lake (venue for 2012        the welcome addition of a graduate boat
Olympic rowing events) on Sunday 3rd         ready to fight for their space
May, winning a very impressive piece of      on the bumps charts.
silverware to go along side the Women's
obscenely large trophy from their suc-       The Mays takes place from the 10th-
cess in London at the Head of the River      13th June races start at 1pm Wednes-
last term. Both 1st boats have continued     day to
this success, the Women comfortably          Friday and from 11am Saturday. It would
winning their division at Bedford Regatta    be fantastic to have as many Downing
on the 9th May and the Men easily re-        supports as the riverbanks can hold!
corded the winning time at The Cham-
pion of the Thames Head Race on 17th         Ollie Hughes
May holding the title for the 2nd year
running.
The 2nd boats have also proved them-
selves to have the mettle for a great
Mays. W2 had a brilliant race at the
Champs Head outperforming their ex-
pectations and showing themselves to
be more than equal to the crews around
them. M2 have beaten even the clubs
high expectations, accelerating their rate
of improvement so much that its any-
one's guess how quick they will finally
become before the races.

The lowerboats squads are also training
hard, with both M3 and W3 being the
most prepared lower boat crews the club
has seen for years. This year also sees
the return of the Downing College Rugby
boat with the rowers showing their sport-


                                        33
  The Cambrdidge Arts Picture-         Lan Hong House
   house, working with Student
 Beans (studentbeans.com) ex-
  tends an offer of £3.00 tickets          Hot
                                            &KLQHVH )RRG
  every Monday. You must joun
Student Beans and become a Pic-
       turehouse eMember
  (picturehouses.co.uk). Joining                To Take Away
both is free. Simply print off your

                                           $ ZLGH UDQJH RI VSHFLDOV IRU
 voucher and have your Picture-
 house eMembership number at

                                                     RQO\ e
               hand.
        Enjoy great film!

                                       /HQVILHOG 5RDG R Q WKH FRU
       Enjoy great prices!


                                           QHU QH[W WR WKH WUDIILF OLJKWV
                                           7HOHSKRQH RUGHUV DFFHSWHG
                                                   




                                      34
                                             Wide
                                          selection of
                                             beers

                                           Real Ales

                                          Live sports
Downing bar getting you down? Fancy
something that isn’t a pre-candies VK.
Get a breath of fresh air from the same    Karaoke
old college claustrophobia and head
down to Cross keys. Less than 5 min-
utes from any Downing residence its
still a world away. Get real ale and a       Food
great place to hang out.


                                             BBQ




    9 Saxon Street                         Downing College
      Cambridge
    On the way to
      The Leys
     (see map on right)


    Phone: 01223
                                    35
Have a great May Week
               36

				
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