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Making your vote count

VIEWS: 7 PAGES: 12

									 Bandersnatch  Lsng r vwls snc 1971
                                                                                                                                 Volume 37, Issue 12 • Wednesday April 2nd, 2008



In this Issue...                               Making your vote count                             the next to pay taxes. We are also the next to   capture the attention of certain students
                                               Julie Garred
Olympics cause protests                        Contributor
                                                                                                  have children. How should their education
                                                                                                  be handled? The baby boomers are soon to
                                                                                                                                                   who wish to have a better understanding of
                                                                                                                                                   anything regarding politics. We have invited
                                  Page 4
                                                                                                  retire. What will happen to the health care      a member of each political party to come
    China’s occupation of Tibet has                 Conservatives. Liberals. NDP. Bloc            system when the country’s money is being         and speak about why youth should care
long been an uncomfortable issue to            Québécois. Green. Do any of these words            used to treat the large amount of elderly peo-   about politics and current issues, and also to
discuss with the country’s leaders,            have any importance to you? Whether you            ple? How will the country be able to afford      discuss party ideologies. The issues in ques-
and it is often left to protest groups         are intrigued by politics or have no interest      to take care of them? These are all social and   tion will be relevant to students (if you have
to raise awareness of the issue. This          in knowing what they are about, it is im-          economic issues which concern us.                an issue you wish to see addressed, contact
year, however, the issue is being              portant to have some understanding of the              Did you know that in certain countries,      JACtivists). There will be an open question
brought into the public eye because            way our country is run and those involved          such as Australia, any registered voter is       period at the end and we also plan on having
of another reason: the 2008 Summer             in the process.                                    required to vote by law, or they will receive    polling stations set up so that you can vote
Olympics are being held in Beijing                  We often hear that today’s youth are those    a fine in the mail? Let us consider ourselves    for the person/party you would choose if it
this year.                                     who will determine the future of humankind.        lucky that in Canada, we have the right to       were really an election.
                                               It is a large responsibility, if you think about   vote, but are not legally obliged. It is your        The event will take place on April 17th,
Pretty. Odd. Panic                             it. This is why it is so important that we are     choice, but it is a liberty that should not be   from 11:30-1 OR from 1-2:30. The time will
                                  Page 6       all given a chance to state our opinion and        passed up.                                       be confirmed in the very near future.
                                               get involved in the process. One of the best           On that note, the JACtivists are working         If you have any questions, please e-mail
    Panic At The Disco may say, “Back
                                               ways to do this is by being knowledgeable          hard to plan an event that will hopefully        jactivists@gmail.com.
to the streets where we began” in their
                                               when it comes to politics.
latest single, “Nine In The Afternoon”,
                                                    Some students may say to themselves,
but others may say that they couldn’t
                                               “What difference will my vote make? I am
be further from the truth. With their
                                               one out of millions!” This may be valid;
sophomore album, Pretty. Odd. released
                                               however, imagine thousands of people who
March 2008, the exclamation removed
                                               share a similar concern and who refuse to
from their name isn’t the only thing
                                               voice their opinion for the mere reason
they’ve changed.
                                               that they do not think their vote counts for
Newtopia                                       anything. It is very possible that their shared
                                               concerned will not be addressed. Had they all
                                  Page 8
                                               voted, this issue may have taken a prominent
    Throughout history, there have been        position in current issues.
these things known as “societies”, which            Thinking about the future is something
are generally regarded as being pretty         that many people often avoid. It is important
fancy. The primary goal of most societies      to realize, however, that the government con-
is to make it so that we aren’t all eaten      trols all of our money. Our generation will be
by bears or land-squids, or land-bears

                                               Revolutionary Underground
(which, as you should know, are half bear
and half land-squid), but some societies
strive to create a utopia.                                                                        end when the peo-
                                               Leia Wesley                                        ple start to believe in
Condemned 2                                    Campus Editor                                      themselves and stop
                                 Page 10                                                          believing in what oth-
                                                   Revolution Underground is a film               ers tell them to be.
    If you play Condemned 2, it’s for
                                               that focuses on individuals who are                Institutional racism is
one simple reason: to have the shit
                                               trying to create a social change in their          used to keep people
scared out of you. It’s like watching
                                               society.                                           from accomplishing
Saw, or Hostel, or any other horror
                                                   Revolution means to start over, to             their goals. The film
movie released in the last five years.
                                               have no fear, to be able to stand up               s t a t e d , “ [ t h a t e ve n
It’s the thrill, not the actual content,
                                               and defend your rights, beliefs, religion          though] the power is
that makes this game worth playing. It
                                               and culture. This film is about racism             outside yourself, there
doesn’t hurt that the rest of the game
                                               and the effects it has on society. Many            are structures and in-
is pretty polished as well.
                                               people who are minorities believe that             stitutions that try to
Sections                                       they are what people say they are, that
                                               they can never choose to be something
                                                                                                  keep you out [such as
                                                                                                  school, police, text-
                                               better. This film reinforces positive              books, etc] once you ask yourself why?               Back in history, people were more
                                               ideas, that people can be anything they            This is where your contribution will be          together; people were trying to obtain
Campus ............................. 1
                                               want to be.                                        [towards ending inequality and creating          the American dream. The film stated
News .................................. 4          The film states that racism can only           a revolution.]”                                  that people need to start coming back
                                                                                                        Programs created for the youth are         together in order to create a social
Entertainment ................... 6
                                                                                                  a step towards gaining power. The film           change that will improve our standard
Opinions ............................ 8                                                           said, “they are molding the world now.           of living. “We need to globalize resist-
                                                                                                  It is all in youth to change the society.        ance, in order to fight back.” Not only
Arts ..................................... 9
                                                                                                  Communities need to come together,               does the film use interesting people
Games ............................. 10                                                            because a lot of youth are lost; they            to educate the audience on racism and
                                                                                                  need to be encouraged.” In order to              the effects it has on people, but the
Sports ............................... 11
                                                                                                  create a revolution within society to            film uses music as a tool to express the
                                                                                                  diminish inequality, this is also linked         concern of people and encourages you
                                                                                                  to racism, discrimination, sexism and            to want to make a social change within
                                                                                                  homophobia.                                      your very own society.

                                                                                                                                                        Wednesday April 2nd, 2008 • 
                                                                                                      Campus Life                                With Leia Wesley




Restaurant review : Le Commensal                                                                                                                              BANDERSNATCH
                                                                                                                                                              John Abbott College
                                                      veggie lasagna, spring rolls, seaweed salad, tofu    will expand your knowledge of what we define       21275 Lakeshore Road
Leia Wesley                                           casserole, etc. There are also their signature       to be food, which is usually just steak, pork,     P.O. Box 2000
Campus Editor                                         freshly baked desserts (double chocolate             beef and chicken, then you need to come one        Sainte-Anne-de-Bellevue,
                                                                                                                                                              Quebec, Canada H9X 3L9
                                                      chunk cake, coffee mousse cake, date squares,        down to le Commensal, you have no idea what        Phone: (514) 457-6610 ext. 5389
    Tired of reading menus and trying to guess        hazelnut cakes, apple crisp, etc.) that are all      you are missing.                                   Fax:     (514) 457-6091
what sounds good enough to eat? Hate rude             wonderfully moist and amazing to eat.                                                                   Office:	 H-041
waiters and slow service? Well here’s a new take           On the down side, the only thing that                                                              Web:     http://www.bandersnatch.ca/
                                                                                                                                                              E-mail: bandersnatch@johnabbott.qc.ca
on traditional restaurant, where everything is        you will need to know about this restaurant is
self-service and the food is paid by weight.          that your meal is paid by weight. This means,
    Le Commensal is fine vegetarian cuisine           if you put too much food on your plate, you
that makes other, expensive fine dine cuisine         will have to pay for that weight. The heavier                                                           Judy Gelsthorpe
look cheap. Le Commensal is different because         your plate is, the more costly it will be. So, try                                                                                            Editor-in-Chief
the meals are naturally made from organic             not to pile a whole lot of food on your plate
foods with a gourmet technique. Not only are          all at once, this isn’t a food-eating contest, so                                                       Will Attar
their meals to die for, but also their buffet style   take your time, choose your items wisely and                                                                                      Assistant Editor-in-Chief
set-up allows customers to taste up to 3 to 4         enjoy your meal. You may want to cut food
different style of cooking all on one plate.          portions in half, if you want to try a little bit                                                       Megan Chan
    Besides the food being the best part of           of everything that is being served in the buf-                                                                                                   News Editor
your visit, the second best aspect about this         fet. You also want to refrain from stuffing
restaurant is that you do not have to wait            yourself on the hot meals because you still                                                             Leia Wesley
around for a waiter. You just walk in, take a         haven’t tasted the desserts.                                                                                                            Campus Life Editor
seat and put down your stuff. Then grab a plate            Overall, Le Commensal is a stylish restau-
with your free slice of whole grain bread and         rant with a huge window-side view of the Saint                                                          Barbara Radziwon
head toward the buffet. At the buffet you can         Catherine Street. The cost for your meal will be                                                                                      Entertainment Editor
find a fresh salad bar, hot soups (like cream of      from $15 to $25 per person. If you’re looking
broccoli, yellow pea soup, etc), pizza, quiches,      for a good, healthy and well balance meal that                                                          Raluca Iancu
                                                                                                                                                                                                          Arts Editor


Jactivist on campus                                                                                                                                           Michele Morningstar
                                                                                                                                                                                                   Opinions Editor
Carpool to school                                     Political Awareness event: Why                       Earth Day
When?                                                 Should I Care?                                       When?
    ALL THE TIME, but especially March                When?                                                    Tuesday, April 22                              Justin Banks
31-April 11 until 10:30am                                 Thursday, April 17                               Where?                                                                            Games Page Editor
Where?                                                Where?                                                   Agora
    From your house to the John Abbott                    Agora                                            Time?                                              Andrei Iancu
parking lot                                           Time?                                                    9:30am-3:30pm                                                                           Sports Editor
Why?                                                      11:30am-1pm or/and 1pm-2:30pm                    What?
• Get access to 30 Priority Parking spots             What?                                                • A series of speakers: Peter Graham               Eric Chan
reserved for carpoolers only (30 spots near the       • A representative from the Liberal Party,           (Green Party of Canada), Gaston Cantin                                          Production Manager
McGill Arena, parallel to Highway 20).                the Conservative Party, the Green Party,             (Hydro-Quebec Energy Efficiency Expert),
• Get a chance to win CASH!                           the New Democratic Party (NDP), and the              David Hill (Phys. Ed) Ryan Young (CALL).           Matthew Guite
• Reduce your ecological footprint.                   Bloc Quebecois will be discussing current            • Games and activities (recycling relay,                                              Office	Manager
• Increase parking on campus! Fewer cars on           issues relevant to JAC students. There will          environmentally-friendly shopping)
campus means more spots…and less stress for eve-      also been speakers, such as Daniel Quinn,            • Film: Planet Earth                               Alex Attar
ryone at 8:25 in the morning before class starts!!    former JAC student and NDP Candidate for             • Information kiosks and displays from vari-                                                Webmaster
* USE the NEW! Omnivox Module to be                   Lac-Saint-Louis!                                     ous organizations on and off campus (JACtivists,
matched up with JAC students from your area           • If you wish to submit issues to be dis-            Sustainability Committee, Green Party, etc.)
to carpool with. Make sure to meet your new           cussed contact JACtivists.*                          * For more information on any of these
carpooling partner on campus beforehand to            • Ask your teacher if your class can come            events, contact JACtivists!
make arrangements and get to know each other.         participate!                                         jactivists@gmail.com or
Who knows, you may make a new friend!                                                                      514-457-6610 Extension: 5397 (Devon).


                                                                                                                                                              Bandersnatch is the student-run Alternative Press
                                                                                                                                                              at John Abbott College. It is published every two
                                                                                                                                                              weeks and is partially funded by the Student Activities
                                                                                                                                                              Commitee and by advertising solicited members.
                                                                                                                                                              Submissions are welcome and become property of
                                                                                                                                                              Bandersnatch. Submissions must be sent via E-mail to
                                                                                                                                                              bandersnatch@johnabbott.qc.ca and must be in Plain
                                                                                                                                                              Text format (.txt) or Microsoft Word Document format
                                                                                                                                                              (.doc). All submissions must include the full name and
                                                                                                                                                              telephone number of the contributor, as well as the
                                                                                                                                                              e-mail address if applicable. Bandersnatch reserves the
                                                                                                                                                              right to reject submissions or to edit any submissions
                                                                                                                                                              for length, legality, or clarity. Submissions should be a
                                                                                                                                                              maximum of 500 words but may be printed if they are
                                                                                                                                                              worthwhile. Spelling and grammar may be subject to
                                                                                                                                                              correction if necessary. Submissions should be dropped
                                                                                                                                                              off at the Bandersnatch office, located in the basement
                                                                                                                                                              of Herzberg, room H-041 (across from the hallway
                                                                                                                                                              entrance of The Oval).




 • Wednesday April 2nd, 2008                                                                                                                                            Bandersnatch Campus Life
                                                                                                                                Campus Life
Multicultural Week and why it is important
                                               aren’t left in the dark.                      and be heard.
Naomi Dennis                                       We hear things about one another’s            Not to mention that it is nice
Staff Writer                                   backgrounds, and we automatically assume      to see what each other’s cultures
                                               that it’s true. Most of us believe a lot of   have to offer. It is also nice
    This week, March 31st to April 4th, is     what we read in history books, but most       to know about one another’s
Multicultural Week. This is a time to show     of the time the books are not completely      traditions and ways of life.
one another our backgrounds, cultures and      right. It’s hard to know things about other   We need to learn about each
religious beliefs. There are so many differ-   cultures when you don’t ask questions or      other in order to function as
ent cultures and so many reasons why we        ask the people of that culture about it. It   a community, as well as in
should all take part in or at least be open    is also hard to learn and gain knowledge      society. It’s important not to
minded to one another’s cultural differ-       about another culture when one is closed-     be sheltered from each other;
ences. Canada is one of the most culturally    minded and only cares about their own. We     we need to know what each
diverse places to live, yet there are a lot    must listen to one another because what       of us has to offer to society, as
of people oblivious to other cultures. We      we each have to say about our cultural        well as what kind of knowledge
should all come together in this, so that we   differences matters. It’s important to hear   we can share about our culture.
                                                                                              We should all get a taste of eve-
                                                                                              ryone’s culture and what we can
                                                                                              do together to better our society, as
                                                                                              well as ourselves.
                                                                                                   It is fine to only know or want to
                                                                                              know things about your own background,
                                                                                              but it’s good to know about other people’s
                                                                                              backgrounds, because we all have to live       to understand one another and where we
                                                                                              with one another. It is the way of the         are coming from. Without some knowledge
                                                                                              world. Whether we like it or not we each       about each other, we are strangers to one
                                                                                              have to come in contact with people of         another in our own backyards. We become
                                                                                              a different culture. This is just the way it   strangers with our minds filled with stere-
                                                                                              is, and it’s much better to at least try to    otypical thoughts, that makes us naive as
                                                                                              learn or know something about the other        well as judgmental. We are not all the same,
                                                                                              person in order for us all to get along,       therefore we cannot be categorized under
                                                                                              on a higher level. Without some sort of        one culture, religion or background. We all
                                                                                              knowledge about each other, we won’t be        share a beating heart but each of us has a
                                                                                              able to get along, because we won’t be able    heart that beats to a different drum.




                                               Clydes                                                           Presents


    WING NIGHT WEDNESDAYS!
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                                GO HABS GO! GO HABS GO!



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        Don’t Miss Fridays!
Bandersnatch Campus Life                                                                                                                          Wednesday April 2nd, 2008 • 
Olympics in Beijing stirs up protest
                                                     for the creation of the Olympic Village,       means possible. These efforts have only
Matthew Guite                                        and br utal crackdowns on protests             been partially effective; at the lighting
Staff Writer                                         within Lhasa on the 14th of March.             of the Olympic Torch, three French
                                                          China has been under close scrutiny       protesters from the group Reporters
     China’s occupation of Tibet has                 since protests in Tibet were broken up         Without Borders were able to get past
long been an uncomfortable issue to                  violently, with sources claiming there         a thousand police officers to disrupt a
discuss with the country’s leaders, and              were anywhere from 30 to 80 deaths in          speech being given by Liu Qi, president
it is often left to protest groups to raise          total. While the Chinese government            of the Beijing organizing committee
awareness of the issue. This year, how-              blames the exiled Dalai Lama, they have        and Beijing Communist Party Secretary.
ever, the issue is being brought into the            little reason at this point to try to sugar-   One protester attempted to wrestle
public eye because of another reason:                coat the brutality. Governments across         the microphone away from him while
the 2008 Summer Olympics are being                   the globe have already stated that, de-        another unfurled a flag displaying the
held in Beijing this year. This important            spite the controversies, they will not be      Olympic Rings as handcuffs. All three
sporting event has been a reason for                 boycotting the Olympics because they           were detained.
protesters to draw attention to their                see it as a punishment to their athletes,          McDonald’s, Coca-Cola, and other
causes like before. In 2004, protesters              and not a political statement.                 sponsors who paid tens of millions                    decided not to announce the path that
demanded that the rights of Aboriginals                   Beijing has been hard at work since       of dollars to link their names to the                 the Olympic torch will take, fearing
be respected in Australia, as the Summer             they won the right to host the 2008            Beijing Olympics are trying to mollify                that protesters will attempt to protest
Olympics were held.                                  Summer Olympics, displacing citizens           activists pressing for change on Tibet,               along the route, or even try to stop the
     Protesters are raising concern over a           from their homes, infor ming police            Darfur, and other issues, without an-                 torch from continuing on its way. Hikers
number of issues, such as the occupa-                officers to act more polite to people          gering China. Protesters have not been                have been barred from climbimg Mount
tion of Tibet, the displacement of hun-              on the streets, and trying their best to       deterred by China’s actions or the spon-              Everest, as the torch will eventually pass
dreds of thousands of Beijing residents              keep protesting to a minimum by any            sors’ attempts. In retaliation, China has             over there.


News odditites
                                                     at a cattle farm after suffering frostbite     shaped like Illinois, were curious about
Will Attar                                           when he walked to work in his socks in the     how much they would be able to get for it
Assistant Editor-in-Chief                            winter. He could not afford custom-made        on eBay. They would have been happy with
                                                     shoes for his 17-inch feet.                    10$; after all, it was only a Frosted Flake.
Giant wants to belong                                    Living one day at a time, with his         Instead, they made $1,350. The buyer is
    Leonid Stadnik, the man who Guinness             66-year old mother, this 37-year old gi-       TriviaMania.com. The flake will now have
World Records named to be the tallest                ant dreams of finding his soul mate, just      a home as part of the “Traveling Trivia
living human, is having a tough time fit-            like the former titleholder, China’s Bao       Trove”, which is a traveling museum of
ting in. Due to his phenomenal height,               Xishun (7-foot-9-inch), who was married        pop culture,” says one of the sisters.
8-foot-5-inches, Leonid had to quit the              last year.                                     Japan appoints ambassador of
job he loved and has to stoop around his                 “I think the future holds that for me,”    cartoons
house. One thing he has learned though,              he said.                                           Japanese animation is known through-
is that there are many kindhearted people                                                           out the world. That is why there is little            Paying with TP
in the world. People from all over Ukraine                                                          surprise when a popular cartoon robot                     A man who was disputing his water
and the rest of the world have sent him                                                             cat named Doraemon was named anime                    bill is not being allowed to pay for it with
outsized clothing, provided his home with                                                           ambassador. This was done in hopes to                 a cheque written on toilet paper. Ron
running water and recently presented him                                                            promote Japanese cartoons, or “anime”.                Borgna, who is disputing
with a giant bicycle. And on Monday, he                                                                 “Doraemon, I hope you will travel                 the $2,509.66 bill, wrote
got a new car, courtesy of President Viktor                                                         around the world as an anime ambassador               a cheque on floral print,
Yushchenko.                                                                                         to deepen people’s understanding of Japan             two-ply toilet paper.
    He began growing at age 14 after a                                                              so they will become friends with Japan,”              The bill was originally
brain operation stimulated the overproduc-                                                          Komura told the blue-and-white cat.                   $422.90, but thinking
tion of growth hormones. He has been                                                                    Japan also created the International              it was overcharged,
growing ever since.                                                                                 Manga Award last year. Manga is a style of            Borgna refused to pay.
    His 440 pounds cause aches and pains                                                            comic book that combines complex stories              T he bill eventually
on his knees, which forces him to some-              Frosted Flake makes a killing on               with drawing styles that differ greatly from          grew due to penalties,
times use crutches. He also loves animals,           eBay                                           those of, lets say, a Superman comic. It is           late-fees, and other
but had to quit his job as a vetenarian                 Two sisters, who found a Frosted Flake      also often read from right to left.                   additional charges


Visuals                                                                                                 People in Zimbabwe voted last weekend and
                                                                                                    wait for results. The Movement for Democratic
from the Editor                                                                                     Change (MDC) has announced their unofficial
    Since President Bush’s speech that in-                                                          victory after winning 35 to 30 for parliamentary
volved defending the Iraq war and promised                                                          seats, though 144 remain undeclared at the time.
that the U.S. forces will succeed against the                                                           Zimbabweans have been saying that this
enemies, people have been protesting against                                                        year’s election has been one of the biggest chal-
the six years of U.S. soldiers sent to Iraq, dying                                                  lenges in years; Zanu-PF party with President
for a cause they don’t see.                                                                         Robert Mugabe and opposing MDC leader,
    This photograph shows a protester in                                                            Morgan Tsvangirai, have a close number of
front of the White House. There has also been                                                       votes. However, people are concerned about the
a demonstration at the Civic Center Plaza in                                                        delay in announcing the results. The MDC feared
San Francisco, California that involved the                                                         fraud, though Mr. Mugabe thinks everything
lighting of 4,000 candles to commemorate                                                            should be fine. The official results have yet to be
the 4,000 U.S. soldiers killed in Iraq.                                                             announced.

 • ���������� ������ ���, �008                                                                                                                                            B��������tch N�w�
The bats and the bees                                                                                                      SUJAC UPDATE
                                                    on it from this action team,” he said.
Barbara Radziwon                                        For nearly two years now, scientists
Entertainment Editor                                have been watching the bat population                 I t ’s t h a t t i m e                                          year. Drop by SUJAC
                                                    plummet. However, concerns are high               again! Very soon,                                                   (P-101) and pick up a
    Many Alberta wildlife officials are             now due to the fact that the bats are dying       this year’s SUJAC                                                   Nomination Form.
having growing concerns as a mysterious             in larger numbers. Most bats hibernate in         Executive team’s                                                         There are a few
disease is wiping out bats in the United            the same cave every winter, keeping the           term will come to                                                   more things on cam-
States. Reports have been coming in that            annual counts consistent. In January 2006,        a n e n d . S U JAC                                                 pus to look out for.
the bats in New York and Vermont are                though, a cave that had 1,300 bats had            is looking for en-                                                  F i r s t l y, c a r p o o l i n g
mysteriously dying off by the thousands,            470 bats last year. The same cave recently        thusiastic, ambi-                                                   has finally ar rived
often with a white ring of fungi around             sheltered just 38 bats.                           tious individuals                                                   o n O m n ivox ! T h e
their noses. For this reason, the disease has           So far, the disease is only affecting         to be next year’s                                                   new module is easy
been dubbed the “white nose syndrome”.              the species of bats known as the “little          President, Vice-                                                    to use and can fa-
No one knows the origins of this disease,           brown bat”; the most commonly seen bat            President Internal,                                                 cilitate helping other
but due to the alarming rate in which the           throughout North America. Whiteside               Vice-President                                                      Abbotters out while
disease is spreading, many researchers are          said that bats play a very important role         A c a d e m i c, V i c e -                                          b e i n g e nv i r o n m e n -
calling this the gravest threat to the bat          in keeping a lid on the insect population,        President Finance and Vice-President             tally conscious. Check it out! Second,
population ever.                                    but that is no reason for the public to           External. Any JAC student can drop by            Multicultural Week is upon us. Please
    Though there are no reported cases              stress. Unfortunately, other researchers          P-101 to pick up an Executive nomina-            come to The Agora this week and enjoy
of the bat population being affected in             do not share the same views as Whiteside.         tion form or ask questions about the             the various activities and explore the
Canada, Darcy Whiteside, a spokesman                In the summer of 2006, many scientists            different positions. T he Executive              many cultures and customs to be found
with the Alberta Sustainable Resource               began to see the bee population decrease          Election will take place on Monday,              within our school’s population. Thirdly,
Development, commented on the situ-                 in shocking rates. A recent discovery has         April 21, with Congress members voting           JAC will be hosting the upcoming
ation by stating, “It seems to be very              proven that the disease that was killing          in the 5 new SUJAC Execs. Look for               gathering of member Colleges of the
isolated. But it is a very devastating              off the bees is similar, if not the same,         the new Executives’ names in upcoming            Confederation of Anglophone CEGEPs
disease”. He went on to explain that the            disease that is attacking the bat popula-         SUJAC Updates!                                   (COAC). Anyone interested in info on
province is working with the Alberta Bat            tion. The fact that the disease that has              The following Monday, April 28, is           any of these events, drop by SUJAC (P-
Action Team, a group of bat enthusiasts             been affecting bees is now affecting bats,        the election for 3 regular and 3 replace-        101) and find out the scoop!
interested in conservation, to monitor the          has many researchers trying to find the           ment student reps on the College’s                   Last but not least, SUJAC and the
situation. “If there were large deaths in           source of this problem before it has the          Academic Council. All John Abbott                JAC Sustainability Committee are in
bats, we would definitely have a heads-up           chance to spread.                                 students are welcome to run, and to              search of creative minds who care
                                                                                                       vote, for these positions so drop by            about our school’s contribution to the
                                                                                                       P-222 on April 28 at 5:30 pm and get            environment! Does this sound like you?
                                                                                                       involved!                                       Submit a design to the Sustainability
                                                                                                           Also on the topic of nominations,           Logo/Slogan contest! Your logo or
                                                                                                       now is the time to submit the name of a         slogan could be adopted to represent the
                                                                                                       teacher to honour for the annual SUJAC          committee permanently and all submis-
                                                                                                       Award. Help us find the most deserv-            sions will be put on display in The Agora
                                                                                                       ing teacher--one who has positively             on Earth Day, April 22! Bring your art
                                                                                                       affected students’ lives OUTSIDE the            to Student Activities ASAP!
                                                                                                       classroom (other than academics) this


 MacBook hacked for cash
                                                    configured the same way any normal user           MacBook Air’s security was compromised            plugin. Adobe is also now working on their
Alex Attar                                          would. This means that regular programs           in two minutes. There were no attempts            plugin to ensure that users do not fall prey
Webmaster                                           like Internet Explorer, Mozilla Firefox, and      made on the first day. The exploit report-        to hackers. In the end, the VAIO running
                                                    plugins like Adobe Flash were all installed to    edly comes from a vulnerability in Apple’s        Ubuntu Linux was not hacked. Now that the
    March 26 marked the start of the                be like what any regular person would use to      resident browser: Safari. Charlie Miller, the     companies know of and are in the process
2008 PWN2OWN competition hosted by                  browse the web. The goal is to hack one of        hacker who won himself $10000 and the             of fixing the holes in their software, users
CanSecWest, a security conference held an-          the laptops in order to find a hidden file that   MacBook Air itself was forced by the rules        can probably expect an update sometime in
nually in Canada. The competition consisted         would tell the hacker how to collect his prize    to sign a non-disclosure agreement regard-        the near future.
of three “targets”: a MacBook Air (Apple’s          (being the laptop itself and some cash).          ing the exploit. This means that he will not
newest ultra-portable laptop), a Fujitsu lap-           Recently in the computer world, there         be able to divulge information to others
top running Windows Vista with the latest           has been a lot of buzz between Apple and          about how to hack people’s laptops, and
updates, and a Sony VAIO laptop running             Microsoft about the insecurities of Vista         Apple has an excellent opportunity to fix
Ubuntu Linux (a free operating system that          and how incrediblty secure Mac OS X is.           Safari’s vulnerability.
has been gaining some ground recently).             The common claim is that there are no                 The next laptop to fall was the Fujitsu
According to the rules, each laptop would           viruses for Macs. The results of the com-         laptop running Windows Vista. This one
be updated with the most recent patches and         petition seemed to prove otherwise. The           fell to a vulnerability in Adobe’s Flash


Visuals                                                                                                   The black swan, Petra, seen in this pho-
                                                                                                      tograph is splashing in the water beside a
from the Editor                                                                                       pedal boat. The fact that the pedal boat looks
    Last week, the National Park Service had                                                          like a swan is not a coincidence. Petra has
limited access to some areas of the park around                                                       become attached to this giant, white swan
Hawaii’s Kilauea volcano for safety reasons.                                                          pedal boat and has refused to leave it.
After an explosion in the Halema’uma’u crater,                                                            Petra was living with the boat in a zoo in
extremely high levels of sulfur dioxide emis-                                                         Muenster, Germany. She has been separated
sions and seismic activity were detected with                                                         from the fake swan to get used to living
levels seven times higher than there should                                                           with a real white swan that she had met but
have been. The last time this volcano erupted, it                                                     the swan shortly flew off to be with other
was 1924. The United States Geological Survey                                                         swans.
said, “the possibility of future small explosions                                                         The zoo stated that Petra “appear[ed] to
or eruption of lava from Halema’uma’a crater                                                          be lonely” and was scheduled to be returned
cannot be ruled out.”                                                                                 to the lake and pedal boat last Friday.

B��������tch N�w�                                                                                                                                             ���������� ������ ���, �008 • 
Pretty. Odd. Panic. life is but a dream/ fantastic                                                                                              New Releases
                “If all our                                                                      Panic in their element.
Megan K. Chan
News Editor
                                                posing greed/ then we should feed our                There’s more of a natural feel to the      In theatres
                                                jewelry to the sea/ for diamonds do appear       songs with less distortion to the instru-      10, 000 B.C.
                                                to be/ just like broken glass to me.” For        ments but they are equally as catchy as        21
    Panic At The Disco may say, “Back to        those who like that sort of thing, listen to     the ones on the last album, A Fever You        Drillbit Taylor
the streets where we began” in their latest     the rest of the album.                           Can’t Sweat Out. It’s good to see that they    Horton Hears a Who
single, “Nine In The Afternoon”, but oth-           If you’re looking for the old Panic,         didn’t fizzle out with a terrible follow-up    Run, Fatboy, Run
ers may say that they couldn’t be further       with the exclamation point and the the-          album.                                         Superhero Movie
from the truth. With their sophomore            atrics that come with it, then this album            All in all, the album is very well done,   The Hammer
album, Pretty. Odd. released March 2008,        isn’t for you; although, Brendon Urie’s lead     finely tuned, and nicely packaged into         The Spiderwick Chronicles
the exclamation removed from their name         vocals still shine through. The smooth,          something that we can call an album.
isn’t the only thing they’ve changed.           well controlled sound of Urie’s voice            It’s not just a ball of random songs put
    The album starts with “We’re So             managed to keep my interest during the           together without any correlation, which is     CDs
Starving”, which puts the listener right        first listen, even with the change in pace       something that not all bands can proudly       Panic at the Disco – Pretty. Odd.
into this psychedelic rock type anthem,         of the music. After a second listen, even        say about their work. Pretty. Odd. is worth
about Panic’s return and how they haven’t       the change in style won’t chase listeners        a listen before shunning the new-retro
changed. From the old cabaret-meets-al-         away, because the lyrics are artistically        album that can be nothing but pure Panic       DVDs
ternative to the new psychedelic pop, this      interesting and pleasing so it’s still clearly   At The Disco.                                  I am Legend
album pumps very sixties sounding music                                                                                                         Sweeney Todd
out of your speakers from the first track                                                                                                       The Kite Runner
to the last. All fifteen tracks provide a new                                                                                                   The Mist
sounding Panic with more experimenting
and variety. Even Ryan Ross, the usual
guitarist and back-up vocalist of the band,
sings more and can be heard in “Behind                                                                                                          Upcoming
the Sea” and “She Had the World”. With
the occasional switch up of vocals, the                                                                                                         Releases
songs come out as a more relaxed, easy
to listen to tune.                                                                                                                              In theatres
    “Northern Downpour” is a sweet,                                                                                                             Leatherheads
acoustic song that sounds like The Beatles’                                                                                                       April 4
“A Day in the Life” combined with “Hey                                                                                                          Chaos Theory
Jude”, and with the rest of the songs fol-                                                                                                        April 11
lowing a similar rhythm from that era, it’s                                                                                                     Dark Matter
clear to see why people are comparing the                                                                                                         April 11
two sounds. Lyrically, the songs are very
“love story” based containing lyrics like,
                                                                                                                                                CDs
Bringing back Supergrass                                                                                                                        Madonna – Hard Candy
                                                                                                                                                  April 29
                                                     Supergrass’ new album Diamond Hoo           ever y song sounds like something a
Ahmad Sahmoud                                   Ha is extremely odd compared to their            different band has already done. This
Contributor                                     previous sound in the 90s. After listen-         may be due to the band’s reappearance          DVDs
                                                ing to all twelve songs I could barely           after so long. Surprisingly there is a         P2
    Supergrass is a band from Oxford.           keep my eyes open out of pure bore-              hidden gem in this album that is well             April 8
The band consists of brothers Gaz (gui-         dom. The majority of the lyrics are too          made and could actually be enjoyed,            Walk Hard
tar and lead vocals) and Rob Coombes            repetitive which makes the listener just         which sounded slightly original. “ The            April 8
(keyboards), Danny Goffey (drums and            want the song to just end already like           Return Of...” is about a man’s day and         There Will Be Blood
backing vocals), and Mick Quinn (bass           the last song of the album “Butterfly”           his search for inspiration and how he             April 8
and backing vocals).                            which is over 5 minutes of nothing but           finds it in unexpected places.                 Alien vs. Predator: Requiem
    In the mid-90s, the band became             two stanzas and a chorus. The band’s                 All in all, it’s a decent album that          April 15
very popular with their hit “Alright”.          an English rock band yet the singer              I would buy if I wasn’t disappointed           Juno
Bands such as Oasis, Blur, Pulp and             doesn’t seem to be suited for the genre.         with the massive change in sound over             April 15
Sueda, who were famous bands that               He sounds far too Indie, in contrast to          the decade.
existed during the same pop-punk era            their sound in the 90s which was so per-
as Supergrass contrasted extremely
with the band’s youthful and carefree
                                                fectly har monious
                                                lyrically and me-                                                                               Upcoming
image. The band has been influenced by
such other bands as; Buzzcocks, T.Rex,
                                                lodically. However
                                                there are a few ex-                                                                             Events
The Jam and The Kinks. Supergrass               ce p ti o n s, a m o n g
has influenced many new artists such            them are “Whiskey                                                                               Billy Joel
as Arctic Monkeys, The Coral, The               a n d G r e e n Te a ” ,                                                                            April 23 at 7:30, Bell Center
Fratellis, Kaiser Chiefs and The Vines.         “Bad Blood” and                                                                                 Panic at the Disco
“A fun-loving rock group whose un-              “Rough Knuckles”                                                                                    May 13 at 8, Metropolis
deniable musical talent is sometimes            ( e ve n t h o u g h t h e                                                                      The Cure
overshadowed by the sheer ebullience            lyrics don’t make                                                                                   May 14 at 7:30, Bell Center
of its music.” says Troy Carpenter, co-         much sense at all...                                                                            Eric Clapton
director of Nude as the News. The band          )However, no two                                                                                    May 28 at 7:30, Bell Center
has released six studio albums to date          songs sound the                                                                                 Rush
and one singles compilation.                    same even though                                                                                    June 12 at 7:30, Bell Center

 • ���������� ������ ���, �008                                                                                                                        B��������tch E�t��t���m��t
As slick and slight as a deck of cards
                                                    part falls short.) To quote one of the audi-
Victoria Laberge                                    ence members at the premiere showing of
Contributor                                         the movie, half-way through, the viewer finds
                                                    themselves “wishing something would hap-
     The drama 21 centers on a young MIT stu-       pen already” – however, once things do start
dent, Ben Campbell (played by Jim Sturgess),        happening, the viewer’s boredom completely
who is recruited by his math professor, Mickey      evaporates as they are hit with one twist after
Rosa (Kevin Spacey) to join a group of card-        another. The Rat Pack-esque camaraderie of
counting students with the goal of winning          the five students is also fun to watch, and the
thousands of dollars during weekly trips to         suave ways of the card-counters will appeal
Las Vegas. In need of tuition money for his         to fans of the Ocean’s Eleven/Twelve/Thirteen
upcoming semester at Harvard and further            movies.
motivated by the “prettiest girl in school,”            21 is, in a word, entertaining. Its lack of
Jill Taylor (Kate Bosworth), who is already a       originality ensures that it’s not going to be-
member of the group, Campbell joins, intend-        come a cultural phenomenon, but it’s still a
ing to stop once he makes enough money for          good way to spend a rainy afternoon.
school. Inevitably, he goes too far.
     Sturgess, of Across the Universe fame, is
charming as ever as the main character. His
role of providing eye candy to the audience
comes in handy at some less action-packed
points in the film. However, as an English
actor attempting to portray a Bostonian, his
accent proves somewhat distracting – not
to mention the fact that one is trained by
his previous movie to expect him to burst
into song at any moment. Kate Bosworth
plays the predictable and oh-so-Hollywood
character of the love interest; though, to be
fair, she does a good job at it. Kevin Spacey,
in the role of the immoral math professor,
is hands down the best actor of the movie:
ever versatile, he manages to get the viewer
to go from loving him to hating him in the
span of a few minutes.
     As mentioned, 21 is a very Hollywood
kind of movie. There is no lack of cheesy
lines, for example, or even cheesier voice-
over narration. And don’t be surprised if
the plot seems familiar: the book Bringing
Down The House, by Ben Mezrich, describes
the real-life events of six MIT students who
form a “Blackjack Club” and learn to count
cards. Both the Canadian flick The Last
Casino and 21 are based on this book; thus
the storyline is far from completely original.
Furthermore, one really shouldn’t rely too
much on the tagline (“Five students who
changed the game forever”) – the movie is
entertaining, but one really isn’t left with that
much of an impact.
     All that being said, the movie is pretty
engaging. The music is perfectly manipula-
tive, enrapturing the viewer in the heart of
the action by blaring fast beats. There are a
few good laughs throughout the film, nota-
bly from the kleptomaniac Choi, played by
Aaron Yoo, and from the sex-driven Fisher,
played by Jacob Pitts. (Campbell’s Jonah Hill-
like sidekick, Miles, played by Josh Gad, also
tries to get a few laughs, but for the most




B��������tch E�t��t���m��t                                                                            ���������� ������ ���, �008 • 
The Newtopia                                                                                                                                                           Random Rants
                                                         so apparently the way to the annals of                and they’d be all, “Hey dude, everything’s                  With all the work that is being piled upon
David Anderson, Esq.                                     philosophical history is paved with puns.             a-okay. Don’t have any boots? Man, who                  most of us, tempers are running high, and
Staff Writer                                             Plato believed that through the creation              needs boots when you can love Big Brother               people have a lot to say about what grinds
                                                         of Philosopher-kings, Greece could be                 for FREE. Tired of having your house ex-                their gears.
     Throughout history, there have been                 transformed into a utopia. Or should I say,           plode? Man, who needs not being bombed                      “The cafeteria menu! Oh, when will it
these things known as “societies”, which are             FRUITopia. That was a clever pun express-             when you can totally love Big Brother for               ever change?”
generally regarded as being pretty fancy. The            ing my disdain for his idea and also making           A SMALL NOMINAL CHARGE. And                                 “People who disagree with me. Every
primary goal of most societies is to make it             fun of the whole gay-vibe around ancient              how ‘bout those two legs, eh? I hear they’re            week they just prove to me that they’re stu-
so that we aren’t all eaten by bears or land-            Greece. I would advise you to write it down           better than four.”                                      pid and slow. I don’t know why they keep
squids, or land-bears (which, as you should              as an example of how to pull off a double                  But in the end, we are left asking our-            it up.”
know, are half bear and half land-squid), but            pun without injuring yourself.                        selves the tough questions. Is a utopia pos-                “I hate poor people. Because there are
some societies strive to create a utopia. A                  So, now that we know that utopias are             sible? Would living in a perfect society be             poor people, there are books about poor
utopia is a society that is widely considered            by definition pretty good places, we must             all that it’s cracked up to be? It is possible          people, which means that I have to study
to be “pretty great”, and could only be made             ask ourselves if there are any better alterna-        to write something about dystopias without              about those miserable poor people. My time
better by adding some cities that are like gi-           tives. The most obvious one is the dystopia,          referencing George Orwell? Sure, why not,               could be better spent getting rich!”
ant helicopters or something. Motorcopter                which are always pretty sweet places to               and no “that’s dumb”, and probably, but                     “ Pe o p l e w h o wa l k s l ow i n t h e
city, that sounds pretty utopian, right? But             live because you get free secret police and           screw you Ray Bradbury! Well, so much for               hallways...”
are utopias really all they’re cracked up to             stuff. Even if you tried to think that things         the tough questions. So, to surmise: utopias                “Damn ugly graffiti! If you want to
be? Some people say “no”, some say “prob-                weren’t all that great, you’d just look at the        are pretty cool and I totally didn’t steal that         graffiti something, do it right! Something
ably”, and some say “utopia? C-can you use               various television screens all around you,            Fruitopia pun from the Simpsons. Totally.               pretty, or artistic, drawing lame stuff is
it in a sentence?”                                                                                                                                                     dumb! We’ve all seen what a penis looks like
     To first understand what makes a utopia                                                                                                                           so don’t draw it on the wall. Get creative, I
so pretty, we must intensely study the origin                                                                                                                          believe in you.”
of the word and its meaning. Or, just read                                                                                                                                 “I hate having a cold.”
part of the introduction to the Wikipedia ar-                                                                                                                              “People who lie down in the halls with
ticle; those are always right, right? The con-                                                                                                                         their legs spread out, blocking everybody’s
cept of utopia was invented by the Greek                                                                                                                               way.”
philosophers, because those dudes were on                                                                                                                                  “Ex-boyfriends. They generally tend to
the ball. Except for when it came to science                                                                                                                           piss me off.”
and thinking fire was an element, or some-                                                                                                                                 “Guys who come to pee next to you in
thing stupid like that. Seriously, Aristotle,                                                                                                                          the stalls. I’m like, wide open, dude.”
stop being such a chump. Anyways, the                                                                                                                                      “People who copy what you say, you
whole point of the word utopia is that it                                                                                                                              know, as a joke to piss you off.”
means “good place”, but also “no place”,                                                                                                                                   “People who don’t listen to you, and
                                                                                                                                                                       don’t do things properly. It’s frustrating.”

YouTube for you n00bs! video. It’s not posted
                Next, check the ‘guitar’                                                                       Nobody’s Watching have 15 videos uploaded at
                                                                                                                                                                       The Editor’s Rant
                                                                                                                                                                            Douchebags. I can’t help but realize how
Judy Gelsthorpe                                          by the artist shown in the video, and it’s not        the moment, and having seen every one of them,          much people are being assholes, lately. I don’t
Editor-in-Chief                                          funny, but you will not regret watching this. He      there wasn’t a single one I didn’t enjoy.               know what it is, the weather perhaps? Maybe
                                                         is a God. FunTwo be praised. Achmed the Dead              Last but not least, “Spectacles and Testicles”.     it’s the overload of assignment and tests?
      I think at this point, almost every student        Terrorist, also featured on this page, does have      A duo of two young men, one of whom seldom              Still, I’m appalled at how mean everyone is
in the school has encountered the wonders of             some excellent one-liners, and is one of the cutest   wears pants on camera (obviously Testicles), and        to each other in the halls. Just the other day,
YouTube.com. Whether you watch videos or                 dead things you’ll ever see in your life. In short,   the other a glasses-wearing, slightly eccentric, long   I was randomly harassing people for things
upload your own, YouTube has some serious                definitely worth the 10 minutes of your life you’ll   haired loudmouth. An excellent combination.             that annoy them for the Random Rants
advantages that cannot be denied. Who doesn’t            spend watching Jeff Dunham throw his voice            Some of their topics are funnier than others, but       column. Now, harassing is a strong word;
dream of becoming the next YouTube celebrity?            around the stage. Any Harry Potter fans out there     that’s to be expected. Some of the topics they’ve       I leave all the grumps and positive people
Ok, maybe Chris Crocker ruined that dream                will find the ‘Potter Puppet Pals – The Mysterious    covered so far include religion, depression, friend-    (who don’t have something to complain
for some of us, but for the rest, that dream is          Ticking Noise’ to be hilarious. Anyone else out       ship, world peace, and global warming. They             about, bless them) alone. But this one guy,
still alive! Just be sure that you go a little further   there, stear clear.                                   also have a website at www.myspace.com/pres-            as I’m walking away, goes all Jerry Seinfeld
than laughing your ass off to Judson Laipply’s                Enough of the formalities, and on to the         tigepics, so if you’re bored and want to check out      on me and yells out, “I know [what bothers
“The Evolution of Dance”, or yelling along               seldom seen, seldom heard, but hilarious be-          some slightly serious but mostly comedic videos,        me], how about annoying people who ask
with Avril (“Hey! Hey! You! You! I don’t like            yond words videos that aren’t always easy to          Spectacles and Testicles are a good bet.                random people what pisses them off ?” Oh
your girlfriend!”). It’s impossible to claim that        come by, but worth every second you spend                 When all else fails, search for ‘guitarnstuff’      dear God, I nearly peed on myself laughing.
I’ve found all the treasures waiting for me in           searching. Some of my personal favorites              and watch my own rendition of the ever so hilari-       You think you’re so clever. Har, har. If only
the goldmine that is YouTube.com, but in my              include “Powerthirst”, the single greatest mock-      ous “Special Ed” by Stephen Lynch. I swear I’m          this were a one-time thing, but no; derisive
journey through the expanses of Flash content,           commercial I’ve ever seen. A few highlights           going to beat that baby if it kills me.                 behaviour towards fellow students is more of
I have found some shining stars that deserve to          includes ‘POWER SPAWNING                                                                                      an ongoing event. A JACtivist told me that
be shared with the world. For now though, John           BABIES! 400 BABIES!’ and                                                                                      some people who refused to carpool during
Abbott College will suffice.                             ‘RAWBERRIES!!!’. On the same                                                                                  the campaign for Carpooling to School last
      First things first, check the ‘most viewed’ vid-   tack, the rest of “Picnicface’s”                                                                              week found it necessary to whisper, “Stupid
eos. In here, you will find some hilarious things,       videos are also worth looking at,                                                                             JACtivisits” under their breaths as they
and some things that make you kind of confused.          including ‘Super Bingo’.                                                                                      walked away. DUDE. Wait, was she twisting
Like the laughing baby. It is a sad, sad day when a           Nobody’s Watching is a series                                                                            your arm, yelling in your face? God forbid
normal baby, laughing in a normal baby kind of           of videos featuring two regular                                                                               we contribute to reducing freaking gas emis-
way, gets more hits than you do. Unfortunately           guys, that never fail to amuse.                                                                               sions! I’m not saying to give in to anything
for 99.99% of the YouTube community, that                From their take of the ‘OK Go’                                                                                others tell you; that’s not the point. You don’t
includes you. Then again, it is a daunting feat to       music video to ‘Diet Coke and                                                                                 have to support anything, nor do you have
get over 43 MILLION views. Except of course,             Mentos’ (which, FYI, is not what                                                                              to participate in anything, but learn to shut
if you are a laughing baby.                              you’re thinking), the guys from                                                                               up. There’s no need to diss.

 • ���������� ������ ���, �008                                                                                                                                                      B��������tch O����o��
                                    Untitled
                                                           Jan Sotocinal - Contributor
                                                                           Stoneware


Untitled                                                                                 Untitled
      Tat Kuen Poon - Contributor                                                              Tara Remenyi - Contributor
                 Acrylic Painting                                                                       Acrylic Painting




                                        Untitled
                                                    Genevieve Joly - Contributor
                                                               Acrylic Painting
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       Alex Zendran - Contributor                                                             Edouard Capel - Contributor
                   Mixed Media                                                                           Acrylic Painting




                                        Ghosts
  Tic-Tac-Go                                           Raluca Iancu - Arts Editor         Untitled
   Joshua Rainville - Contributor                Photography (Pin-Hole Camera)                      Erin Fisher - Contributor
           Relief Ink Monotype                                                                         Relief Ink Monotype


Bandersnatch Arts                                                                           Wednesday April 2nd, 2008 • 
Many mannequin chain-gangs mulling about maliciously
                                             best hand-to-hand fighting in any game          for even the slightest
Matthew Guite                                to date. You’re never going to play this        movement or sound.
Staff Writer                                 game to the very end because the cast is        When the scare finally
                                             interesting or because the relationships        does come, you’re so
    Video games, like most things, have      between the characters are compelling.          wound up that it’s hard
the habit of being divided into catego-      If you play Condemned 2, it’s for one sim-      not to leap right out of
ries and genres by the fans who play         ple reason: to have the shit scared out of      your seat.
them and the developers who make             you. It’s like watching Saw, or Hostel, or          The controls are just
them. There are action games, shooters,      any other horror movie released in the          right for a g ame like
platformers, puzzle solvers, role-playing    last five years. It’s the thrill, not the ac-   this; your character feels
games, and so on. Many of these gen-         tual content, that makes this game worth        responsive in those mo-
res, though not all of them, happen to       playing. It doesn’t hurt that the rest of       ments of terror when
translate into the movie industry as well    the game is pretty polished as well.            you need to run or turn
(not to be confused with movies based            Condemned 2 is a sequel to the ear-         on a dime, and even
upon games, which are by-and-large           lier Xbox 360 title, Condemned: Criminal        more importantly, the
pieces of crap). There are action mov-       Origins, and carries on the story of the        fighting is intense and
ies, shoot-em-ups, movies that make you      first after a one year time skip. The main      gratifying. First person hand-to-hand           works. It’s constantly doing it’s best to
think and movies that are there simply       character, Ethan Tomas, is now a dis-           fighting is uncommon and rarely done            remind you that this is not Halo, or even
to amuse you. Though, we’re still work-      graced SCU officer living in the streets        well, but in Condemned 2, it feels like the     Doom 3. This game is a scare-a-minute
ing on adapting a roleplaying-game into      and spending all his time drunk off his         for mula has been smoothed out and              with some fist-fights, gunplay and good
some form of decent film (well, on this      ass. When the shit starts to hit the fan all    turned into an art form. Blocking, par-         ol’ fashion trippin’ balls thrown in for
continent anyways) and there aren’t many               over again, he’s pulled back into     rying, attacking, all of it requires strategy   good (and by good I mean hallucinogen-
video games that focus on love and                         the service to help solve a       and timing. Each trigger controls a fist,       ic) measure. This is a game that features a
loss without including                                      new string of murders per-       or in the case of a held weapon such            mannequin chain-gang, a bondage loving
giant swords and lots                                       petrated by SKX, the mys-        as a plank of wood, a different swing,          clown-woman, and some of the scariest
of explosions, but the                                    terious serial killer from the     blocking, and creating combos always            acid trips you will ever encounter. If that
point remains.                                            first game. The entire game        feels like a process that is based on skill,    doesn’t sell you on this game, then go
    Condemned 2, from                                      plays through in the first per-   not luck. Gunplay is limited, as your only      back to playing Barbie Horse Adventures.
Monolith Productions, is a                                  son, not including the cut-      ammunition is rare and cannot exceed            You’re not wanted here.
game for fans of horror mov-                                 scenes, which only makes        one clip for your gun of choice, but this
ies. Plain and simple. This game                               the game scarier. You’re      often makes firearms a rare luxury.                 Final Verdict:
is not here to entertain. You’re                                constantly looking over          Condemned 2 is a game based on thrills.
never going to play Condemned 2                                 your shoulder or keeping     The piss-your-pants kind of thrills, but        	        BUY
because it has tight controls, or the                           your eyes and ears peeled    thrills nonetheless. And the thing is, it


A Final Fantasy for four in the new Crystal Chronicles
                                             for system to system multiplayer ses-           run through.
Justin Banks                                 sions where players can jump in and out             Gameplay is fairly simply and not
Games Page Editor                            with several characters, running around         overusing the touch screen to the point
                                             performing quests for the king or simply        of death. It’s used mainly to switch
    Ever since Squaresoft and Nintendo       travelling throughout the game’s hand-          characters, select items/magics, and aim
parted ways years ago, before the time       ful of dungeons. Being the first ever           tribe specific abilities. The tribes are
of the Nintendo 64, Final Fantasy            Final Fantasy game to display changes           the four different character classes of
titles have graced Sony’s consoles in        in characters’ equipment it coerces you         the Crystal Chronicles world: the human
all their splendor. When Square-Enix         into collecting as much material and            Clavats, the armor-covered magic spe-
--Squaresoft merged with Enix at this        recipes for armor and weapons as pos-           cialized Yukes, the ranged jungle-living
point-- developed Final Fantasy Crystal      sible within the levels. Running through        Selkies, and the cutesy Liltys. Each tribe
Chronicles for the Nintendo Gamecube,        the levels is continually fresh with dif-       has their own weapon types and ability          ters there is no denying that the game
they attempted an entirely new brand         ficulty amping up after every successful        which gets used to solve puzzles. As dif-       is angled towards younger gamers, but
of Final Fantasy, one that focused on                                                        ferent as all classes are, in single player     it may prove too difficult and confus-
simple multiplayer action instead of                                                         you’ll find yourself playing as Yuri, the       ing for those who aren’t up to the task,
the deep RPG elements and complex                                                            Clavat, the most as it is the most useful       paving the way for experienced dun-
storylines in the past. Whereas Crystal                                                      and powerful class.                             geon crawlers. During certain in-game
Chronicles’ success was iffy due to an                                                           Eventually, you can only rely on one        cinematics voice overs are provided,
irritating pot carrying system (not that                                                     character as the artificial intelligence        bringing life to the more-often-than-not
kind of pot) and multiplayer requir-                                                         of your allies will fail horribly, always       text-speakers.
ing every player to have a GameBoy                                                           getting stuck and then just standing                Provided that you can find three
Advance and GBA-GC connector, Final                                                          around when they actually are in a bat-         friends who are willing to pony up cash
Fantasy Crystal Chronicles: Ring of Fates                                                    tle. It’s not even worth spending the           for their own copies, RoF is possibly
corrects all of these and them some on                                                       cures and revives to keep them around.          the best current multiplayer game on
the Nintendo DS.                                                                             When a game has to give you a button            the DS. Even then, the single player is
    The main stor yline involves two                                                         to summon your allies to you because it         a fun romp through an entertaining and
twins, Yuri and Chelinka, battling to                                                        knows that they’ll get stuck, you know          surprisingly mature story.
save their world from the Lunites, but                                                       that you’re in for a swell time.
with the entire singleplayer/story mode                                                                As a Square-Enix DS game, RoF             Final Verdict:
lasting only about 12 hours it becomes                                                       uses the beautiful graphics seen previ-
clear that this action/RPG title is fo-                                                      ously in Final Fantasy III that push the        	        BUY
cused on multiplayer. With gameplay                                                          DS’ capabilities to the limit. With the
akin to games such as Diablo, it’s perfect                                                   graphics being focused on child charac-

10 • ���������� ������ ���, �008                                                                                                                     B��������tch G�m�� P�g�
JAC Sports    Habs make the playoffs, and then some!
Press Release AndreiEditor
              Sports
                     Iancu
                            mentioned Red Wings last won the cup the AHL, but does he really have what
                            in 2002, and not a single time in the last it takes to take the playoff pressure;
                                                                                       four years when they finished with the                 both on and off the ice? Questionable.
MULTI VOLLEYBALL TEAM                          If you all remember, the Habs were
                                                                                       best record in the league.
                                                                                           So, as of Tuesday afternoon, The
                                                                                                                                              The next match (at time of article) is
                                                                                                                                              Tuesday night, at 7:30, against Ottawa.
ARE CHAMPIONS!                            doomed since before the start of the         Habs only need one more point to clinch                Last time Habs played Ottawa, they
                                          season to a slow and pitiful descent         the conference title. That, however,                   had a 7-1 advantage, before Ottawa
   The Multi Volleyball team travelled    into the abyss of conference standings.      might come as somewhat of a chal-                      scored four unanswered goals, much
to Joliette this past weekend for their   They did just the opposite. The first half   lenge, as a few key players are sitting                to the bewilderment of fans and Guy
final tournament of the year and they     of the season was a slow but constant        out because of injuries. The Habs were                 Carbonneau. If they win, or force the
won the league championships against      progression. After the big Christmas         luckily spared until now, but it seems                 game into overtime, they clinch their
Ahuntsic in the final. In the round       holiday break, the Habs were only a few      that all these injuries are coming at the              division title, and can defiantly sit back
robin portion, the Islanders beat the     points behind last year’s record. But        wrong time, as the Habs are prepar-                    for the next two games. They are also
host team Joliette 2-0 and lost 2-0 to    everyone knew something was differ-          ing for the playoffs. Koivu, Bouillon,                 playing the Buffalo Sabres on Thursday
Édouard-Montpetit. In the semi-finals,    ent. The players were having fun, the        and Komisarek are out, at least for the                April 3, and like last year, Toronto on
the Isles played Collège Maisonneuve      Kostytsin brothers were stepping up,         regular season. However, it should not                 Saturday.
and won 25-20 and 25-17. In the finals,   Carey Price was, and is, doing wonders       be cause for alarm. Bouillon has only                      Lastly, if the playoffs were to start
the Islanders faced a strong team from    for such a young age, and finally, Alex      played so many games this season and                   today, 1st seeded Penguins would play
Ahuntsic and played great volleyball to   Kovalev. Quick flashback to last year;       Koivu, well let’s face it, hasn’t done                 8th seeded Br uins, and 2nd seeded
win the championship in straight sets     all angry fans would rant about throwing     much. He’s had a below par season,                     Habs would play 7th seeded Flyers. The
of 26-24 and 25-18.                       Kovalev out of Montreal. Truthfully, at      and if he goes missing for a week or                   Canadians have won all four matches
                                          that time it seemed like the right deci-     two, I’m sure the Habs can do without.                 against the Flyers this season, as well
                                          sion. However, the Russian superstar         Komisarek’s absence may cause more of                  as all 8 ag ainst the Boston Br uins.
JAC Athletic                              had a long summer to reflect on his
                                          previously pathetic hockey, and has ob-
                                                                                       a problem, because he brought a physi-
                                                                                       cal element to the team. However, the
                                                                                                                                              However, with the scoring so close,
                                                                                                                                              nothing will be sure until the last
Awards night                              viously stepped it up a notch. Kovalev is    Habs are still in good shape with their                minute. What is sure is that our beloved
                                          now 81 points for 79 matches, an aver-       season-long advantage: the Power-Play.                 Habs have made the playoffs, the Leafs
   Don’t miss the John Abbott Athletic    age of more than one point per match,        With 24.2% efficiency, the Habs top                    didn’t and we will probably be clinching
Awards night, on Wednesday April          with 34 goals and 47 assists, and a +/-      the league, in front of the Flyers and                 first place in the conference soon! Go
16th!                                     rating of +17. That’s 13 points differ-      Red Wings.                                             Habs Go!!
                                          ence from 2nd place Tomas Plekanec.              With three matches left to play,
                                          Most importantly though, that’s a 34         the Habs only need one more point to
                                                                                                                                              Final Game Schedule
NHL Standings                             point difference from his record last
                                          year. Along with the stick handling
                                                                                       clinch the conference title. The impor-
                                                                                       tant question now is, how will they do
                                                                                                                                              Tuesday April 1st
                                                                                                                                                 Montreal at Ottawa, 7:30 PM, RDS
Eastern Conference                        hero, a few other players seemed to have
                                          stepped up to fill in the shoes of some
                                                                                       in the playoffs? Without Huet, Price
                                                                                       has no playoff experience in the NHL,
Rank    Team                     Points                                                                                                       Thursday April 3rd
                                          players. For example, Andrei and Sergei      and Halak has not really been shining
1       Pitsburgh Penguins       100                                                                                                             Buffalo at Montreal, 7:30 PM, RDS
                                          Kostytsin, for example. While Koivu,         this season, as well as having very little
2       Montreal Canadiens       98
                                          Higgins and Ryder were having a very         playoff experience. It’s debatable that
3       Carolina Hurricanes      90                                                                                                           Saturday April 5th
                                          average season, the two brothers saw         Price did help Team Canada win the
4       New Jersey Devils        93                                                                                                              Toronto at Montreal, 7:30, RDS
                                          the occasion and jumped on it.               gold medal, AND the Calder Cup in
5       New York Rangers         93
                                              When everything seemed to straight-
6       Ottawa Senators          92
                                          en out, and the Habs were on their way
7       Boston Bruins            91
                                          to a comfortable position in the confer-
8       Philadelphia Flyers      91
                                          ence standings, the trade deadline came
9       Washington Capitals      88
                                          along. In a mysterious move, general
10      Buffalo Sabres           86
                                          manager Bob Gainey traded Cristobal
11      Toronto Maple Leafs      82
                                          Huet, our only goalie with any playoff
12      Florida Panthers         81
                                          experience, for….a 1st round pick. Once
13      New York Islanders       76
                                          again, the younger players stepped up.
14      Atlanta Trashers         74
                                          Carey Price became no.1 goalie, and
15      Tampa Bay Lightning      71
                                          he is letting the results speak for him.
                                          Of course, it’s hard to understand why
Western Conference                        Gainey would make such a trade. Huet
Rank    Team                     Points   clearly did not want to leave Montreal,
1       Detriot Red Wings        111      and even worse, what we get in ex-
2       San Jose Sharks          106      change is a 1st round player who may
3       Minnesota Wild           95       end up as nothing. However, we must
4       Anaheim Ducks            98       ask: could we be better off, had Huet
5       Dallas Stars             93       been with Montreal until now? One
6       Colorado Avalanche       91       more point, The Habs clinched the
7       Calgary Flames           90       conference title, they already clenched
8       Vancouver Canucks        88       their playoff spot, how much more do
9       Nashville Predators      87       we need? Could Huet have helped us
10      Edmonton Oilers          86       rival the Red Wings, who have won the
11      Chicago Blackhawks       84       President’s Trophy for 4 years in a row
12      Pheonix Coyotes          80       now? And even if he could have, so
13      Comlumbus Blue Jackets   80       what? What really matters now is the
14      St-Louis Blues           74       playoffs, and everyone knows everything
                                                                                       Micheal Ryder and Christopher Higgins taking a break during practice
15      Los Angeles Kings        69       changes there. After all, the previously

Bandersnatch Sports                                                                                                                                Wednesday April 2nd, 2008 • 11

								
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