MONOPOLY-MASTERS by chenmeixiu

VIEWS: 16 PAGES: 124

									       "MONOPOLY MASTERS"
              by
          Sean Adair




2009           Sean Adair
               5809 Fulton Ave
               Valley Glen CA, 91401
               (818) 400-6692
                                                       FADE IN:

INT. BEDROOM - MORNING
It is still early and light has only just begun to stream in
through the windows revealing the messy room of JOHN TODD,
25, who is asleep on the bed in a cocoon of sheets and
blankets.
Next to the bed is a nightstand, atop of which is a CLOCK
RADIO which changes from 6:59 to 7:00 and begins blaring
Wham’s "Wake Me Up Before You Go Go"
                    RADIO
          Go go! Don’t leave me hanging on
          like a yo-yo. Wake me up before you
          Go-Go! I don’t want to miss it when
          you hit that...
John wakes up, shuts off the alarm, and begins getting ready
for work.

INT. APARTMENT - MORNING
A SERIES OF SHOTS as John gets ready.
--He takes a shower freezing himself with cold water before
the hot water kicks in.
--He gulps down two small pills.
--He gets dressed
--He opens the refrigerator. Sitting on the shelf is a box
of cereal. He shrugs, and then removes it and the milk from
the fridge and pours himself a bowl.

INT. BATHROOM - MORNING
John sits on the toilet, pants at his legs reading a paper.
The front page story reads in big bold letters "Richard
Darrow ’Monopoly Plot’ Prompts $4 Billion Lawsuit" and there
is a picture of Richard Darrow, an older man with a top hat
and white handlebar mustache standing with a smug look on
his face.
However, John has no interest in it and turns to the
funnies.
                                                       2.


Suddenly, the CAMERA PULLS THROUGH the open bathroom door TO
REVEAL a phone RINGING in the LIVING ROOM.

INT. LIVING ROOM - MORNING
This is clearly an important call and John quickly, wipes
up, and rushes over to pick up the phone, tripping over his
pants in the process.
                    VOICE (O.S.)
          Hello and welcome to the Fallbrook
          County Automated Substitute Teacher
          Assignment System. Please say your
          name after the beep.
                    JOHN
          John Todd Van Damme.
                    VOICE (O.S.)
          Hello Mr. John Todd. Please hold.
                    JOHN
          Like I have a choice.
                    VOICE (O.S.)
          There are TWO available positions
          today.
                    JOHN
          Come on PE! My gym membership ran
          out!
                    VOICE (O.S.)
          Press 1 for FRENCH at ATLANTIC HIGH
          SCHOOL
                    JOHN
          Sacre bleu! No vouz francaiz! Let’s
          hope the next one is a bit better
                    VOICE (O.S.)
          Press 2 for ECONOMICS at PACIFIC
          SCHOOL
                    JOHN
          Ugh. Well lets take a look then.
JOHN walks over to a VCR case. There is a row labeled
TEACHING MATERIALS. Each movie has a subject label and a
movie attached.



                                                 (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               3.

BIOLOGY on Alien, RUSSIAN on From Russia with Love, MATH
on Pi. CHEMISTRY on Flubber, LAW on Liar Liar, HEALTH on
Patch Adams, ENGLISH on Shakespeare in Love.
                       JOHN
             Hmmm... Risky Business or French
             Connection?
                       VOICE (O.S.)
             Please input selection
He contemplates it a second before pressing a button.
                       VOICE (O.S.)
             You have selected ECONOMICS at
             PACIFIC HIGH. PACIFIC HIGH SCHOOL
             is located on Vermont Ave between
             Oriental and Connecticut Ave. Class
             Starts at 8:45. You are
             substituting for Mr. Henderson.

EXT. PACIFIC HIGH SCHOOL - FRONT LAWN - MORNING
JOHN finishes putting change in the PARKING METER next to
where his car is parked and then walks up the manicured
green lawn to the large concrete building that is the
school.
It is obvious that it is the school because all the
surrounding buildings are in the process of being torn down
and rebuilt with the same white sign in front of all of
them.
CLOSE on Sign "Coming Soon: Darrow Apartments! 3000 square
feet of spacious living! Brought to you by Darrow Real
Estate"
                       VOICE (O.S.)
             I already told you no!
John turns to see two SUITED MEN carrying briefcases talking
to PRINCIPAL IRVING, 55, a large bald man.
                       SUIT MAN 1
             Now hear me out Mr. Irving... Mr.
             Darrow owns all of the surrounding
             properties in this area. Yours is
             the only one remaining. As such he
             is willing to make a VERY generous
             offer for your property. An offer
             much higher than this property is
             worth I assure you


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               4.

                       PRINCIPAL IRVING
             Mr. Darrow doesn’t have enough
             money to pay what this property is
             worth to me.
                       SUIT MAN 1
             I beg to differ sir. Have a look at
             this check!
He thrusts a check in PRINCIPAL IRVING’s face.
                          PRINCIPAL IRVING
             No thanks.
                       SUIT MAN 1
             Now sir I assure you, despite the
             huge amount written on it it’s
             real. Not Monopoly money or
             anything.
                       PRINCIPAL IRVING
             Still not enough money to make me
             give up this school.
SUIT MAN stares at him for a second confused. Finally a wave
of understanding crosses over him.
                       SUIT MAN 1
             Oh I get it! You are holding out
             for a better deal. You sly dog
             you...
                       IRVING
                  (yelling)
             Get out!
With that, SUIT MAN 1 runs away cowering behind SUIT MAN 2
who begins to speak. He is far more calm and collected than
his companion.
                       SUIT MAN 2
             Perhaps my associate here or any of
             the others that have been here have
             not been clear, but your building
             is about to go into foreclosure.
             You have defaulted on payments for
             the past 6 months and the bank is
             preparing to seize the property and
             simply auction it off to the
             highest bidder, which I assure you
             will be Mr. Darrow. You have
             absolutely nothing to gain by not
             simply accepting this deal and
             taking the money.

                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               5.


                       PRINCIPAL IRVING
             The paper the bank sent says I got
             till the 20th of April to make a
             payment
                       SUIT MAN 2
             But that’s only 2 months away..
                       PRINCIPAL IRVING
             Then that’s what I gain. Two more
             months to get that money.
                       SUIT MAN 2
             With all due respect sir, given
             your past history of payments their
             isn’t a chance of you making that
             date.
                       PRINCIPAL IRVING
             Listen to me you Oxford twit, this
             schoolyard has been in my family
             since my grandfather built it 50
             years ago and I ain’t giving it up
             until there I got no options left!
             Now, you go tell Mr. Darrow that I
             will see him on the 20th with the
             money, or he can see this property
             on the auction block and buy it
             then. Either way, I don’t want to
             see any more of you greased up
             lawyers till then or I’ll have
             Marvin the Gardener show you what
             else he can do with a pair of
             gardening shears!
CUT to a menacing looking Hispanic guy who looks up from
trimming the hedges and snaps the SHEARS menacingly.
The two SUITED MEN get the picture and run off.
                       PRINCIPAL IRVING
                  (muttering to himself)
             God they must be handing out law
             degrees to anyone with a pulse
             nowadays...
He looks over and notices John staring.
                       PRINCIPAL IRVING
             Oh hi there, you must be the
             substitute for Mr. Henderson.



                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               6.


                       JOHN
             Yeah, that’s me.
                        PRINCIPAL IRVING
             Sorry you had to see that. I assure
             you we have enough to pay you for
             your work.
                       JOHN
             It’s fine, I only wish there was
             something I could do to help.
                       PRINCIPAL IRVING
             Oh ho, thanks for offering m-boy
             but unless you got a rich uncle
             pennybags looking for a charitable
             cause to donate to I’m not sure
             there’s much you can do.
                  (He pauses)
             You don’t got one of those do you?
                       JOHN
             No sir, can’t say that I do.
                       PRINCIPAL IRVING
             Oh well, can’t fault a man for
             trying his best can you?
                       JOHN
             No sir I can’t.
                       PRINCIPAL IRVING
             Well then the best thing you can do
             to help is get in there and teach
             those kids whatever you can. Now
             get going. First bell is in twenty
             minutes

INT. MR. HENDERSON’S CLASSROOM
John stands in Mr. Henderson’s classroom. His name is
scribbled in chalk onto a dusty chalkboard.
                       JOHN
             Good morning class! My name is John
             Todd and I am going to be
             substituting for Mr. Henderson
             while he is gone this week. Your
             teacher has assigned some pamphlets
             with some study terms to be
             completed by the end of day. If you
             need any help, let me know.

                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               7.


The students get to work and John picks up the newspaper
again.
                          STUDENT
             Excuse me?
                          JOHN
             Yes?
John looks over his paper at a student with their hand
raised.
                       STUDENT
             Could you help me with a term? I
             can’t find it in the book.
                       JOHN
             Sure. What’s the term?
                          STUDENT
             Georgism.
                       JOHN
             Alright, let me take a look here...
                  (pausing)
             Wait do you mean the economic
             theory Georgism?
                       STUDENT
             Yeah, this is an economics class
             after all. Or are you in the wrong
             room?
The class snickers.
                       JOHN
             Ah smart ass, but you do know what
             it is. You just haven’t heard the
             term before. Let me ask you a
             question and this is going to sound
             strange: Have you ever played
             Monopoly?
                       STUDENT
             What? You mean the board game?
                       JOHN
             Yeah the board game. Roll the dice,
             move your piece, buy property. Have
             you played it?
John looks and the whole class is watching at this point.


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               8.

                       JOHN
             Come on. It’s not like you are
             going to get in trouble for
             admitting you’ve played a board
             game.
                       STUDENT
             Yeah I’ve played. But what does
             that have to do with my question
             about Georgism?
                       JOHN
             Because Monopoly was designed to
             teach you what Georgism is.
                       STUDENT
             Huh?
                       JOHN
             You see, the boardgame known as
             Monopoly has it’s origins in a game
             created in 1904 by a woman named
             Elizabeth Magie entitled "The
             Landlord’s Game". Elizabeth Magie
             was a devout Georgist, that is a
             follow of Henry George’s Philosophy
             Georgism, and wanted to spread the
             beliefs of her founder. So, she
             decided the best way to do so was
             to make a board game out of it.
                  (A small pause)
             Now, what happens in Monopoly? Who
             gets the money?
An ASIAN GIRL raises her hand
                       ASIAN GIRL
             The people with the houses.
                       JOHN
             Right! The people with property!
             What happens in Monopoly is that
             people buy property, improve it by
             building houses and hotels, which
             causes rents to go up and everyone
             except rich landowners becomes
             bankrupt. This works alright in a
             boardgame, but in a real economy
             this is a serious problem.
                       STUDENT
             So? That still doesn’t tell me what
             Georgism is.


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               9.


                       JOHN
             I’m getting to that. Henry George
             saw all this and noticed that over
             time as the value of property
             increases, so does the gap between
             the haves and have-nots. To remedy
             this, he proposed a heavy Land Tax.
             Under his system the only tax would
             be a high tax on unimproved land
             value. This in addition to lowering
             land prices, encourages development
             of unused property and increased
             employment and wages to the lower
             class.
                       STUDENT
             Well, if this was such a great idea
             why didn’t anyone try it?
                       JOHN
             Well, he was proposing his ideas at
             a time when rich steel and railroad
             monopolies wielded enormous
             control. The largest of these was
             the steel baron and banker J.P.
             Morgan. He’s the one that Mr.
             Monopoly on the cover of the box is
             modeled after and the enemy of
             Georgism. Him and the rest of his
             cronies had the most to lose should
             this massive redistribution of
             wealth take place and used their
             enormous power and influence over
             all the Ivy League schools and
             political arenas to halt
             development of this idea.
                       STUDENT
             So he just gave up?
                       JOHN
             No, he tried to get around it by
             running for Mayor of New York City.
             He ended up polling second, ahead
             of the Republican candidate a then
             unknown named Theodore Roosevelt,
             but he lost to a man named Abram
             Hewitt in an election thought by
             many to be rigged by these same
             monopolies. Later, that same
             Theodore Roosevelt would be elected
             President and become famous for
             breaking up the large Oil and
                       (MORE)
                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               10.

                       JOHN (cont’d)
             Railroad Monopolies of J.P. Morgan
             and his friends that ruled
             Washington Politics. They even....
JOHN is interrupted by the sound of a student SNORING. None
of the rest are paying attention.
As he sees this, his head drops and the joy and enthusiasm
that had filled him before drains from his face.
                       WOMAN’S VOICE (OFF SCREEN)
             Don’t feel too bad it’s a tough
             crowd.
John looks up to see a JOSIE ADAMS, 25, standing in the
doorway.
                       JOSIE
             I have most of this same crew for
             English and trust me, they don’t
             perk up much more for my renditions
             of "The Great Gatsby". That plus
             you being a substitute and it being
             first period and I’m surprised they
             even made it past roll without at
             least one of them falling asleep.
As JOHN stares at her a wave of recognition washes over his
face and he suddenly recognizes her.
                       JOHN
             Josie... I swear that that was
             relevant to the economic theory...
                        JOSIE
             Certainly not the textbook way to
             teach the topic but at least you
             tried to connect with them. Better
             than most teachers who just play a
             videotape.
JOHN sneakily places the VIDEO TAPE in his TEACHERS BAG
                       JOHN
             Yeah.. I would never do that...
JOHN is saved by the BELL though which begins RINGING.
                       JOHN
             Alright class drop your pamphlets
             in the box if you finished them
             otherwise it’s homework.


                                                    (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              11.


                       JOSIE
             Where’s your next class?
                       JOHN
             Economics, Room 207
                       JOSIE
             Oh that’s in Jefferson building.
             I’ll walk you there.

INT. SCHOOL HALLWAY - MORNING
                       JOHN
             So, how are you Josie? I haven’t
             seen you since college.
                       JOSIE
             I’m good. Got a job here a few
             years ago and have just been
             teaching the kids here the joys of
             classic literature.
                       JOHN
             And you like it?
                       JOSIE
             Oh yeah. It’s just what I’ve always
             wanted. Great staff and eager
             students. What about you? Do you
             work here now?
                       JOHN
             No, I’m just visiting and
             substituting trying to earn some
             credits before I can get a full
             time teaching position anywhere.
                       JOSIE
             And how do you like it?
                       JOHN
             It’s fine. I mean, it’s not what I
             want to be. I want to be a real
             teacher. Where some kid when his
             guidance counselor asks what his
             favorite teacher is, he puts my
             name down. Or who inspires someone
             to go and pick a degree that
             changes their life. But that
             doesn’t happen now. Now, it’s the
             opposite. Kids would prefer it I
             just pop in a movie and just leave
                       (MORE)
                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              12.


                       JOHN (cont’d)
             them alone. They don’t want to
             remember my name and just want an
             hour off.
                       JOSIE
             Trust me, not much changes when you
             teach full time. But I know you’ll
             get there soon. Anyway, here is
             Room 207. It was nice seeing you
             again John.
She starts to walk off.
                       JOHN
             Hey, wait a minute, do you want to
             grab a cup of coffee later? Finish
             catching up on things?
                       JOSIE
             I’d like to but I can’t. I have to
             finish getting ready for the
             Monopoly tournament this Friday.
                       JOHN
             I haven’t heard such a lame excuse
             since Tommy Gilheart turned you
             down because it was an odd numbered
             day of the week.
                       JOSIE
                  (laughing)
             No I’m serious! Here look, I have
             proof!
She thrusts a FLIER into his hands confirming what she just
said.
                       JOHN
             Wow a Monopoly tournament
             Fundraiser. The school really is
             getting desperate.
                       JOSIE
             Hey don’t laugh! The middle school
             did one last year and earned
             $5,000. Plus, I figure with a bake
             sale and silent auction thrown in,
             we can at least double that.
                  (pausing)
             Hey listen you should come join us.
             I’m sure it will be a lot of fun.


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              13.


                       JOHN
             I don’t know...
                       JOSIE
             Well, you have the flier in case
             you change your mind. Otherwise,
             happy trails John.
JOSIE walks off and JOHN enters the classroom just as the
BELLS RING again.

INT. CIRCUS TENT - REGISTRATION TABLES - DAY
JOHN, to the surprise of no one, has decided to go to the
tournament and follows the crowd inside a CIRCUS TENT, flier
in hand.
Inside, the tournament is fairly busy with people clumped
around picnic tables and plastic chairs.
JOHN walks around until he finally spies Josie talking to
someone about decorations.
                       JOHN
             Excuse me, where are the restrooms?
             I had a little accident.
                       JOSIE
             They are right over... Oh hey John,
             I’m glad you could make it.
                       JOHN
             Yeah quite the setup you got here.
                       JOSIE
             Well I tried. Now, if you want to
             join the Monopoly tournament you
             better hurry as it’s starting soon.
                       JOHN
             Trust me, I don’t. Honestly, I
             don’t even know how to play.
                       JOSIE
             Bullshit. In fact, if I remember
             right you were pretty good.
             Undefeated Dorm Floor Champion if I
             remember right?
                       JOHN
             That was a long time ago...


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                                14.


                       JOSIE
             Wasn’t that long ago. Besides I’m
             sure your skills haven’t
             deteriorated too much.
                       JOHN
             Maybe. What else is there?
                       JOSIE
             Well, there’s the silent auction on
             the far wall, the bake sale is
             there, Monopoly tables are there,
             and over there is the podium where
             you are going to be giving your
             speech later.
                       JOHN
             You want me to give a speech?!
                         JOSIE
             Will you   please John? My juggler
             canceled   and I need someone to fill
             the time   during the silent auction
             so I can   hobnob with the executives
             longer.
                       JOHN
             Wait, so you’re saying the juggler
             dropped the ball?
                       JOSIE
             Aww John that is horrible. Please
             though will you do it?
                       JOHN
             Well I mean what kind of speech do
             you have in mind? How big business
             is squashing small school houses?
                       JOSIE
             I was thinking more along the lines
             of the speech you gave on Georgism
             and Monopoly.
                       JOHN
             Oh now I see. You’ve had this
             planned all along.
                       JOSIE
             Guilty as charged.




                                                     (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              15.


                       JOHN
             And here I thought you invited me
             because you wanted to see me again.
                       JOSIE
                  (smiling sweetly)
             Can’t it be both?
                       JOHN
             Fine Josie I’ll help you.
                       JOSIE
             Awesome. you’re also introducing
             Mr. Stevens after lunch. Don’t
             worry, just wait for your cue and
             there will be a teleprompter if you
             can’t think of anything to say.
             Enjoy yourself John!
Josie walks away to tend to someone else’s question.
With his friend gone, and his afternoon plans filled in for
him John begins walking the tent searching for something
that catches his eye.

INT. DARKENED LIMO ON HIGHWAY - DAY
The limo is nice but at the moment very dark. Sitting inside
is DAVID DARROW, a 26 year old movie star with perfect teeth
and a hangover and his agent HANK FRASIER, a 40 year old
fast talking Jewish man with a yamika and a comb over.
                       DAVID
             Do I really have to do this? I mean
             seriously some ho-dunk elementary
             school in the middle of nowhere is
             the best you can get?
                       HANK
             It’s a high school and yes. It’s
             good for your image. Besides after
             that debacle at the Source Awards
             your image can use all the help it
             can get.
                       DAVID
             You said that I didn’t have to
             worry about that. That you would
             take care of it.




                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               16.

                       HANK
             Yeah, and this is how we take care
             of it. Just take a few photos with
             some kids, sign a few boards and
             you’re out.
                       DAVID
             Fine, but if one of those kids
             pukes on me I’m bailing

INT. CIRCUS TENT - STAGE
JOSIE stands microphone in hand on a hastily thrown up
wooden stage.
                       JOSIE
             Is this thing on? Hello? Can anyone
             here me?
She taps the mike
                       JOSIE
             Ladies and Gentleman. Thank you for
             coming to Pacific High Schools
             first annual Monopoly Tournament.
             Please give generously to help our
             school and make sure to check out
             our bake sale and silent auction.
             For now though, put your hands
             together and welcome DAVID DARROW!

INT. CIRCUS TENT
The crowd erupts into applause and panties go flying into
the air as DAVID DARROW comes through the side door
surrounded by his entourage, his PUBLICIST, his agent HANK
FRASIER, his MAKEUP TEAM, and CAMERA CREW.
He continues walking while his MAKEUP powders his cheeks and
his CAMERA CREW orbits around him taking pictures.
His PUBLICIST stops in front of a TABLE where 3 KIDS are
playing Monopoly.
                       PUBLICIST
             These will do.
David stops in front of the table with 3 KIDS and sits down.
His MAKEUP team wastes no time before buzzing around the
KIDS dabbing makeup on them as they cough from the powdered
fumes and hairspray.

                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              17.


                       PUBLICIST
             Alright, now get in close. David,
             show me more of that award winning
             smile of yours.
The four of them pose as photographers take their photos.
                       PUBLICIST
             Alright, again. This time drop the
             dice on the ground and make it look
             like you just won.
                       PUBLICIST
             Last one! Big smiles everyone!
                       PUBLICIST
             And that’s a wrap.
The ENTOURAGE leaves.
As they do, one of the KIDS from the photo turns to DAVID
                       KID
             Hey Mr. Darrow sir. I’m a big fan.
             Can I please have an autograph?
                       DAVID
             Sorry kid. I don’t have a pen.
             Maybe later.
                       KID
                  (waving a pen)
             I have one!
But it is too late. David is already gone. He has run off
and joined HANK, his PUBLICIST and the rest of his
ENTOURAGE.
The CAMERA pauses a beat on the boy’s sad face as tears
begin to well up in his eyes.

INT. CIRCUS TENT - STAGE
Everyone has gathered around the stage.
                       JOSIE
             And here again is the famous movie
             star and Monopoly player David
             Darrow!
The crowd cheers as he walks up to the microphone.


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               18.

                       DAVID DARROW
             Hello everyone. I’m so glad to be
             here. As soon as I heard the plight
             of the Virginia High School
                       JOSIE
                  (whispering)
             Pacific High...
                       DAVID DARROW
             Right. Pacific High School. As soon
             as I heard I knew I just had to do
             something. That’s why I’ve come to
             show my support for this worthy
             cause. Together with all of your
             help, we can beat breast cancer.
Everyone looks around with puzzled looks.
JOHN has had enough of this charade and walks off

INT. CIRCUS TENT - MONOPOLY TABLES - DAY
John walks up and sees an OLD MAN playing Monopoly with 3
KIDS (10-14).
Two of them who have already been eliminated are sitting off
to the sidelines, cheering on their other friend who is not
doing well. He has a small pile of cash, staring at an
opponent who has most of the board coated on hotels.
It is the old mans turn and the boys groan as he rolls and
moves his piece past their friends last house onto one of
his own properties.
The boy picks up the dice and rolls but he is not as lucky
and lands on Boardwalk with a hotel.
                       OLD MAN
             Ooh. Tough luck. That’s $2000
             dollars please.
The boys walk off pissed.
                       BOY (O.S.)
             You totally should of won that!
                       BOY 2 (O.S.)
             Yeah it’s cause he cheated and got
             all those hotel things.
John walks over to him.


                                                    (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              19.


                       JOHN
             Well that wasn’t very nice.
                       OLD MAN
             They walked up and asked to play.
             What am I going to do, say no? If I
             did that you would be calling me
             elitist and rude.
                       JOHN
             No play with them but play nice.
             Teach them the rules.
                       OLD MAN
             I played with free parking...
                        JOHN
             How generous of you. But no, that’s
             not what I mean. I mean hold back a
             little.
                       OLD MAN
             Play easy on them you mean?
                       JOHN
             Yeah, make some mistakes, let them
             think they beat you. I’m sure your
             ego can take it.
                        OLD MAN
             Ah, but false victory isn’t worth
             anything. Victory is only worth
             something when it’s earned. Given
             it’s meaningless, Fought for it’s
             priceless.
                       JOHN
             All I’m saying it’s been too long
             since someone beat you that badly
             and I think you’ve forgotten how
             much it sucks.
                       OLD MAN
             Well, table’s open. Are you willing
             to teach me a lesson?
                       JOHN
             Yeah, sure old man. I’ll play with
             you.
John drags one of the nearby fold up chairs and sits down
and they start playing.


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                            20.


John goes first, rolling a 3, which lands him on Baltic
which he quickly buys.
The old man rolls a 7 and lands on the light blues.
It quickly becomes apparent that this is going to be a very
different game than the one with the kids and it soon
quickens to a breakneck pace.
Both players are buying property after property, not even
counting the spots, just jumping their pieces to the correct
spots.
John blows onto the dice.
                       JOHN
             6...6...6...
He rolls, and a 4 and a 2 come up.
                       JOHN
             Yes!
John fist pumps as his piece lands on the final Red square
securing him a natural Monopoly, and the games first.
He quickly counts out $1500 dollars from his pile of cash
and and places 3 houses on each property
The Old man is not far behind though and soon secures his
own Natural Monopoly, the yellows and drops 3 houses on each
as well.
John silently curses but continues.

INT. CIRCUS TENT - REGISTRATION TABLE
The sound of both the curse and the John’s exaltation
reaches Josie who looks over to see what the fuss is about
and smiles.
She is not the only one who has noticed though and soon a
sizable crowd gathers so that every roll that sends a piece
near enemy hotels or close to unowned properties is
accompanied by a chorus of cheers and shouts.
                                                         21.


INT. CIRCUS TENT - MONOPOLY TABLES
The game has moved into the later stages and the board is
covered in houses and hotels.
JOHN rolls an 8 and lands on Pacific, one of the green
properties.
                    OLD MAN
          Pacific with 3 houses, that’s
          $1800.
John counts out his pile of money but it is not enough and
he is forced to sell everything but his hotels on Purple and
Dark Blue.
One more big hit and he is finished.
The Old Man rolls and the crowd Oohs and Boo’s as his piece
skips over John’s properties.
John rolls an 8 which lands his piece on Indiana, one of the
Old Man’s properties that still has hotels.
However, the old man says nothing.
John, confused, looks over at the property card on the Old
Man’s side. It’s off to the side, shoved under the board but
still visible.
The Old Man looks down at it, looks at the piece on the Red
square and picks up the dice.
John opens his mouth in protest but no words come out.
The dice drop, it’s a 7 and the Old Man moves his piece to
Marvin Gardens, a yellow square.
                    OLD MAN
          Mortgaged. No one owes anyone
          anything. Your turn.
John still has a stunned look on his face, but he takes the
dice and rolls a 5 which lands him on chance.
                     JOHN
          Collect $100.
He takes the money from the bank and hands the dice back to
the old Man.
The Old Man shakes them a bit and then rolls a 5.


                                                    (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               22.

He moves his piece the 5 squares to John’s Boardwalk which
has a hotel on it.
                        JOHN
             Boardwalk, $2000
The old man glances at his remaining pile but it’s clearly
not enough and he tips over his piece.
The crowd erupts into cheers. John is pulled up by his arms,
his arms thrust into the air against his will as he stands
there with a confused look on his face.
                       GIRL (O.S.)
             Whoo!
John turns to see a tall beautiful blonde girl bouncing
towards him with smiles in her face.
                        BLONDE
             Here David, take a picture with me
             and the Champion!
As if to accentuate that last word she drapes her arm around
his neck and snuggles in close
                       VOICE (O.S.)
             Look this way.
Both turn to look toward the source of the voice.
John’s smile fades as he turns to see that the one holding
the camera is David Darrow, the movie star from before and
John grimaces just as the picture goes off.
                       BLONDE
                  (pouting)
             Oh do another one! He wasn’t
             smiling!
The blonde squeezes him even tighter
                       BLONDE
                  (whispering in his ear)
             Smile for the camera.
John once again gets a goofy happy smile on his face.
                       BLONDE
             Oh my eyes were closed take another
             one.
The blonde turns her body wrapping herself around John even
more as the camera takes on last picture.

                                                    (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              23.


                       BLONDE
             All done! Now, John was it?
                       JOHN
             Yeah.
                       BLONDE
             I take it we’ll see you at the
             Tournament?
                       JOHN
             Huh?
                        BLONDE
             The Monopoly Masters Tournament.
             It’s the Nationwide Monopoly
             Tournament. It’s in a month from
             now. Duh dummy.
                       JOHN
             Oh yeah. The tournament. Yeah I’ll
             be there! For sure.
                       BLONDE
             Good. See you there then. Until
             then. Adieu.
She grabs him and kisses him on the cheek and then turns and
leaves leaving John standing there stunned unable to speak.
He finally regains his composure and shouts after her turned
shoulder
                       JOHN
             Bon Voyage! I mean bye!
He waves to her back.
                       JOSIE (O.S.)
             Still mad at me for dragging you
             along?
Josie walks up from behind John
                       JOHN
             You know, I think I’ll forgive you.
                       JOSIE
             So whats this I hear about you
             entering the tournament?




                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              24.


                       JOHN
             Honestly, I don’t know anything
             about it. Heck, up until about five
             minutes ago I didn’t even know
             there was a Monopoly Masters
             Tournament.
                       JOSIE
             Well there is and like Busty
             McBimbo said it’s in a month and
             the prize money is $50,000. And....
             if you were to donate that money to
             the school I’m sure Mr. Irving
             would be happy you offer you a
             position here. Isn’t that right Mr.
             Irving?
She turns to Principal Irving who is standing right next to
her and pulls him over.
                       PRINCIPAL IRVING
             We would have to take a look at
             your credentials but that seems
             reasonable.
                       JOHN
             Full time teaching with benefits?
                         PRINCIPAL IRVING
             Of course
                       JOHN
             And free parking?
                       PRINCIPAL IRVING
             Son, if you donate $50,000 to this
             school you can come over to my
             house and fuck my wife any time you
             want.
                         JOHN
             Really?
                        PRINCIPAL IRVING
             No of course not you sick pervert!
             It’s just an expression! But I will
             give you that job. Now, if you’ll
             excuse me I have other matters to
             attend to.
                       JOHN
             A full time teaching position... Oh
             Josie thank you!

                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              25.


The two of them hug.
                       JOSIE
             Hey hey calm down. You have to win
             the tournament first and if you are
             going to have a chance of doing
             that you better grab Miles before
             he takes off.
                       JOHN
             Miles?
                       JOSIE
             Miles Davis, the guy you just beat
             at Monopoly.
                       JOHN
             The old guy? I just figured he was
             a teacher here or something.
                       JOSIE
             Actually he is the janitor. But he
             is also the Monopoly World
             Champion. You really didn’t know?
                       JOHN
             Not a clue.
Josie shakes her head
                        JOSIE
             Well you better go catch him before
             he leaves.

EXT - PARKING LOT
John runs up to Miles who is climbing into his car
                       JOHN
             Hey Miles! Wait up!
                       MILES
             So, you figured out who I was. Do
             you want an autograph?
                       JOHN
             No, I wanted to tell you that you
             were right. It did suck having all
             those people congratulate me for a
             game I should have lost.



                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                                26.


                       MILES
                  (sarcastically)
             Oh yeah, you looked miserable with
             that blonde wrapped around you.
                       JOHN
             But it’s like you said. It wasn’t
             real. I didn’t deserve it. And
             that’s what I don’t get why you
             went back on what you said? Why did
             you hold back and let me win?
                       MILES
             What are you talking about? You
             beat me fair and square.
                       JOHN
             Don’t play coy with   me. I landed on
             your Red space with   hotels on it
             and you didn’t call   it. You let two
             turns go by without   saying a word.
                       MILES
             So?
                       JOHN
             So?! Kentucky with a hotel is
             $1500, that would have bankrupted
             me at that point!
                       MILES
             I must not have seen it. I’m
             getting old and with the crowd and
             the sounds...
                       JOHN
             Listen, whatever you say nobody
             else even noticed what you did back
             there with you letting me win, but
             I did and I can see that there is a
             world of difference between you and
             me. A big gap I need to cross if I
             am going to have a chance to beat
             people like David Darrow or you or
             anyone else standing in the way
             between me and winning that
             tournament. And I need to win that
             tournament. For the kids, the
             school, the job, the busty bimbo,
             Josie. For all of it. It’s just I
             know that that’s why I am at this
             school today and that that’s what I
             have to do. And furthermore I know
                       (MORE)
                                                     (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              27.


                        JOHN (cont’d)
             that I can’t do it without your
             help.
                   (A pause)
             So please. Help me.
Miles thinks about it for a long minute
                       MILES
             Meet me in the library after school
             on Monday if you’re serious.

INT - COMPUTER LAB    - DAY
JOHN enters and Miles is mopping the floor.
                       MILES
             Oh good. Grab a mop and you can
             help me finish
                       JOHN
             I get it. This is like some Mr.
             Miyagi shit where the mopping helps
             me play Monopoly
                       MILES
             No, I’m just behind and could use
             the help.
                       JOHN
             Ok... well after that you are going
             to teach me some secret technique
             right.
                       MILES
             Maybe later, but first we need to
             make sure you get in the
             tournament.
                       JOHN
             What do you mean?
                       MILES
             Well they don’t just let any Joe
             Schmo off the street waltz up and
             put his piece on Go. You have to
             qualify first.
                       JOHN
             Alright, so what do I have to do?
             Win some sort of regional
             tournament or something?

                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              28.

                       MILES
             A lot actually, but for starters
             you have to pass a 20 question
             multiple choice test on Monopoly
             trivia and strategy. What to do in
             a specific situation, probability
             of landing on specific spots. That
             kind of thing.
                       JOHN
             That doesn’t sound so bad. Let me
             give it a shot.
John turns to one of the COMPUTERS and clicks the link
leading to the test. The screen suddenly fills with a series
of multiple choice questions.
                       TEXT ON SCREEN
             1. You go to Jail at a time when
             seven properties remain unsold. No
             player owns a complete color-group
             of properties. Should you pay $50
             and get out of Jail on your very
             next turn, or stay there and roll
             without paying $50? A. Pay $50 then
             roll B. Roll without paying $50
He hastily clicks B and looks at the next.
                       TEXT ON SCREEN
             2. Is it better to own the light
             purples with a hotel on each, or
             the reds with 3 houses on each? A.
             The light purples with a hotel on
             each B. The reds with 3 houses on
             each
He again stares at it confusedly before clicking his answer.
He proceeds through the rest of the test like this, wavering
in indecision until the last question.
                       MILES
             Alright let’s see how you did.
TEXT ON SCREEN: "Your score: 8 out of 20 Correct! Try again
tomorrow!"
                       MILES
             Well, you need 80% right to pass,
             which is 16 questions correct. You
             got 8 which is below what you would
             have scored if you had just guessed
             randomly.

                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              29.


                       JOHN
             Yeah, it was definitely a lot
             harder than I expected.
                       MILES
             What you thought this was going to
             be all fun and games? Trust me,
             this is only the beginning and it’s
             going to get harder. Now, the
             deadline for passing Round 1 of the
             qualifiers is in 10 days. You get
             one try a day till then.
Miles reaches into his bag and tosses John a TEXTBOOK
                       MILES (CONTD)
             Until then, get studying.

INT. MR. HENDERSON’S CLASSROOM - DAY
Mr. Henderson is still out and while the students study
economics and fly paper airplanes John is furiously flipping
pages through his dog marked, highlighted and post it note
filled study guide.
TEXT ON SCREEN: "10 out of 20 Correct! Try again tomorrow!"
                       MILES
             It’s an improvement. But not
             enough. Keep working!

INT - MR. HENDERSON’S CLASSROOM - NIGHT
John is sitting in an otherwise empty classroom, staring at
a blackboard while Miles appears to be lecturing.
                       MILES
             What is the most common dice roll?
                       JOHN
             7.
                       MILES
             Number of houses that come with the
             game?
                       JOHN
             30.. Wait! No! 32!




                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              30.


                       MILES
             Correct. Average number of turns to
             go around the board?
                        JOHN
             5.
TEXT ON SCREEN: "13 out of 20 Correct! Try again tomorrow!"
                       MILES
             You do know these are the same
             questions as yesterday right? How
             do you keep getting these wrong?

INT. COMPUTER LAB - DAY
John walks in to the computer lab, takes on last look at his
flashcards and then begins the test. This time he clicks
rapidly, a cool confident look on his face.
                       TEXT ON SCREEN
             18 out of 20. Congratulations! You
             have successfully passed round 1 of
             the Qualifiers for the Monopoly
             National Championship! Please enter
             your email address to enter Round
             2.
                       MILES
             About damn time. So, what made the
             difference? Was it the mnemonics
             for the street names?
                       JOHN
             Actually no. Mostly memorization of
             the questions and random luck.
                       MILES
             Works for me.

INT - MR. HENDERSON’S CLASSROOM - DAY
John is standing in the classroom with Miles again. In his
hand, is a printout of an email. He paces back and forth and
stares at it in disbelief.
                       JOHN
                  (reading)
             Compare and Contrast the Red and
             Yellow Monopolies in terms of
             investment cost and rate of return,
                       (MORE)
                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              31.


                       JOHN (cont’d)
             identify and discuss the steps a
             player goes through when becoming
             bankrupt.. Am I trying to get into
             college or a Monopoly tournament?
                       MILES
             A Monopoly Tournament. And in order
             to get in you are going to have to
             answer them. And take them
             seriously! Of the thousands of
             essays that will be sent in this
             week, only 96 advance to the next
             round.
                       JOHN
             Do they have a cliffs notes for
             this sort of thing?
SERIES OF SHOTS:
-John feverishly writing, study guide flipped open on the
desk. He turns to it, flips the pages and then goes back to
writing.
-Piles of handwritten pages written in a kind of rapidly
scrawled illegible chicken scratch that would require an
expert and a cipher to interpret.
-Printed pages of type with red marks on them, and notes
scrawled in the margins.
-John hunched over a computer late at night. The only light
is the blue glow from the computer as John takes another sip
of coffee and continues typing.
-The final pages printing one by one before John snatches
them from the printer and puts them into a stack which he
grabs and walks out of the door with.

INT. JOSIE’S OFFICE
JOSIE sits in her office grading papers.
John appears in the doorway and rapts on the open door.
                       JOHN
             Hey Josie, hope I’m not
             interrupting anything.




                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              32.

                       JOSIE
             No, it’s fine. What do you need?
                       JOHN
             Oh I just finished my essay for the
             tournament and wanted you to read
             through it before I sent it in.
He pulls out a stack of papers and pushes it towards her.
It’s quite large.
                       JOSIE
             Oh goody. More papers to grade!
             Seriously John it’s finals week.
                       JOHN
             Oh come on Josie. Would you at
             least take a look?
She takes the pile from his outstretched hands.
                       JOSIE
             Fine I’ll have a look. For you.

INT. JOSIE’S OFFICE - A FEW HOURS LATER
                       JOSIE
             Well if I had to grade it right now
             I’d give you a C+. And that’s
             grading on a curve.
                       JOHN
             Ouch. That’s harsh.
                       JOSIE
             Just speaking the truth John. You
             got major errors in this thing.
             Hanging participles, misspelled
             words, missing commas. I mean
             seriously John have you read this
             thing aloud? If I didn’t know any
             better I’d say you were dyslexic.
                       JOHN
             So basically I’m doomed.
                       JOSIE
             Hey don’t give up hope too fast
             Chicken Little. Remember, I was the
             one that turned your meandering
             treatise on the color white in Mark
             Twain into an A paper.


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              33.


                       JOHN
             So does that mean you’ll help me?
                       JOSIE
             Yeah sure. Maybe I can get some TA
             to help grade these other papers.
                       JOHN
             Thanks Josie.

INT. MR. HENDERSON’S CLASSROOM - DAY
John runs in, a Golden Envelope in hand. Feverishly, he
tears it open reading it’s contents.
                       JOHN
             Dear Applicant for the Monopoly
             Masters Tournament, after reviewing
             your application, we are happy to
             inform you that you have passed
             Round 2 and are eligible for Round
             3. Your login name for Pogo.com are
             enclosed below and we wish you luck
             in the online tournament this
             Friday at 8:00 PM.
                       JOHN
             An online tournament eh?
                       MILES
             Yes, it’s the third and final
             round. This Friday you and the 95
             other competitors who also received
             Golden Envelopes will play four
             Rounds of Online Monopoly. At the
             end of those four rounds, the top
             23 players will go on to the
             National Tournament.
                       MILES (CONTD)
             I have till then to teach you
             whatever strategy you need.

INT. COMPUTER LAB - DAY
Miles and John walks into the schools computer lab. As soon
as he does a chorus of cheers erupts from the teachers
standing there.




                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              34.


                       JOHN
                  (whispering to Miles)
             You didn’t say there were going to
             be people here.
                        MILES
             If all goes well you are going to
             be playing Monopoly in front of a
             crowd of 50,000 people in a week or
             so. You better start getting used
             to it now.
                       JOSIE
             Plus, we came here to show our
             support.
                       MILES
             Now, remember, rounds only last 35
             turns. So utilities and railroads
             are much more valuable since you
             might not get a Monopoly. Good
             luck!
John walks over to the closest computer and sits down
putting his hands on the keyboard and mouse.
CLOSE on the COMPUTER MONITOR: His mouse clicks a few times
until he is staring at the Pogo.com Monopoly client. He
types in his user name and password and then clicks the link
labeled "2009 National Championship"
He is then taken to a weird lobby with the phrase waiting
for players. Meanwhile, the diagram below shows 3 guys with
smiley faces for heads and a robot sitting at a table. The
effect is similar to if MC. Escher did 8bit art.
Finally, this progresses to a Now Loading screen where a
disk spins while a progress bar inches it’s way across the
screen.
To entertain the viewer during this, there suddenly appears
a flash ad featuring an animated squirrel selling life
insurance. However, before the little mammal can finish his
pitch the program is finished loading and it changes to the
next webpage.
Finally, they can see the board.
It looks very Web 2.0 with large shiny icons covering a
standard issue Monopoly board that is shaped like a baseball
diamond with Go at the bottom and Free Parking at 2nd base.



                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               35.


Suddenly, it is time to roll dice. Four random generators go
off at once and John ends up in 3rd place behind
RocketPagoda57 and FastPrincess1, though ahead of
MRBOMBASTICz.
This order not only determines play order but piece
selection order and this screen soon comes up.
John looks through the list. There are the usual suspects.
Car, battleship, thimble. But there are also some new faces
like a Penguin, Fish or Robot like the one in the lobby.
Others are blacked out apparently reserved exclusively for
Club Pogo members.
The car has already been picked so John picks the fish
Glooper.
The other players go first. RocketPagoda gets Baltic and
then Income tax. FastPrincess lands on Just Visiting Jail
As it is John’s turn he clicks the giant Green roll button
that appears and his fish hops and flops to land on
Oriental.
TURN 10
John lands on Boardwalk.
TEXT on SCREEN: Would you like to buy it for $350?
JOHN clicks yes and then ends his turn.
Suddenly, a trade window comes up.
TEXT ON SCREEN:"Would you like to trade Park Place for $500
and New York, both railroads, windmill, Kentucky and
States?"
John stares at it incredulously.
                       JOHN
             No way!
He moves his mouse over the down thumbs that means deny and
clicks it.
Another trade window comes up
TEXT on SCREEN: "Would you like to trade Park Place for $600
plus New York, both railroads, windmill, Kentucky and
States?"



                                                 (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               36.


                       JOHN
             He wants me to give him more
             money... Yeah because that was
             clearly my objection...
Again the window pops up again
TEXT ON SCREEN: "Would you like to trade Park Place for $700
plus New York, both railroads, windmill, Kentucky and
States?"
John moves his mouse this time over the box labeled "Ignore
all future trades from this player"
TURN 30
The battleship on screen marches 4 spaces and lands on
John’s Light Blue Hotels.
TEXT ON SCREEN: "RocketPagoda has been bankrupted!"
                       JOHN
             Yes!
TEXT ON SCREEN: "5 Minutes Remaining!"
A countdown starts on screen 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!
TEXT on SCREEN: "First place: Jtodd!"
The other 3 games go by in a quick MONTAGE
--Shots of John clicking feverishly the glow of the monitor
on his face
--Money flying from the other players coffers to his as he
plays.
--Screens declaring SuP3Rl33T45,    has gone bankrupt
--Finally, a screen appears with a white flag on it and the
message. "The players of the game have voted unanimously to
just end their suffering and say that you won."
TEXT ON SCREEN: Your Ranking: 19th. Congratulations! You
have been accepted in the Monopoly Masters Tournament.
The crowd goes wild!
                                                     37.

INT. MR. HENDERSON’S CLASSROOM - DAY
                     MILES
          Alright. The tournament is in 6
          days. That’s not a whole lot of
          time to teach you everything else
          you need to know but it should be
          enough. Now, the tournament uses
          the speed die which opens some new
          strategies you might not be aware
          of so we’ll have to go over those.
          However, the main thing we need to
          work on is your dice rolling
          technique.
                    JOHN
          My dice rolling technique? You pick
          em up, shake em up, throw them
          down. What’s there to learn?
                    MILES
          Well you do it that way and it’s
          random. Not truly, since it’s just
          the initial force of your shaking
          plus gravity and friction. But it’s
          outside your control. All you can
          do is hope for the best. Maybe blow
          on them a bit or wish upon a star.
          However, all the Prop Players use a
          dice rolling technique known as a
          Dutch Drop that gives you a little
          more control. With it, Monopoly
          ceases to become a game of pure
          luck and becomes much more about
          strategy and skill. If you are
          going to have a chance of winning
          this tournament, you are going to
          need to master it.
                    JOHN
          Wait, what are you saying? That you
          can roll whatever number you want?
                    MILES
          What I’m saying is that when you’re
          ready you won’t have to... Wait, no
          you had it right the first time.
                    JOHN
               (disbelieving)
          That’s bullshit. I mean if this was
          real, someone would surely use it
          to go to Vegas and clean house at a
          Craps table.

                                                (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              38.


                       MILES
             They did. And that’s why craps
             tables in Vegas now have rules that
             require you to throw the dice
             against a barrier or throw them
             across the table which negates the
             technique. But Tournament Monopoly
             doesn’t have those rules yet.
                       JOHN
             Still I don’t believe it.
                       MILES
             Well then allow me to demonstrate.
Miles pulls out TWO DICE. He hands them to JOHN.
                       MILES
             Take a look at these dice. Do they
             look loaded? Any shaved corners or
             anything unusual?
                       JOHN
             No, they seem fine.
Miles takes the dice from JOHN and starts shaking them in
his hand.
                          MILES
             5 and a 2.
The dice clatter onto the table and it’s a 5 and a 2. JOHN
stares at the dice in shock.
                       JOHN
             Lucky guess.
Miles picks up the dice again and starts shaking them in his
hand.
                          MILES
             3 and a 4.
They drop and it’s a 3 and a 4.
                       JOHN
             That’s a one in 1296 chance. Highly
             unlikely, but not impossible.
MILES picks up the dice again.




                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              39.


                        MILES
             6 and 4.
He throws them down on the table and they stop on 6 and a 4.
                       JOHN
             Alright. I’m convinced. How do you
             do it?
Miles smiles and then walks over to a table.
                       MILES
             The Dutch Drop like regular dice
             rolling has 3 parts. The first part
             is the pickup. The dice are picked
             up from the table and placed in the
             palm of the hand
He demonstrates palming the dice in his hand.
                       MILES
             The next part is the brake. To
             start with you shake the dice like
             normal. When you are ready, take a
             quick glance down at your hand
             until you see the numbers you want.
             This quick glance is why many pros
             wear sunglasses. When you do, press
             your fingers down onto the dice
             like you are making a fist,
             trapping the dice.
Miles demonstrating, curling his fingers so that they are
resting on top of the dice.
                        MILES
             If you look, you can see the 6 and
             the 3. These are the numbers that
             will be rolled if we do this
             correctly.
He rotates his hand so JOHN can see the dice trapped in his
hand with the 6 and a 3 visible.
                       MILES
             The final part is the roll. If you
             noticed when I was demonstrating
             the dice didn’t fly across the
             table. The correct move is a small
             controlled roll that causes the
             dice to roll 3 times, and then do a
             straight drop off the tip of your
             fingers. This causes the dice to
                       (MORE)
                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                             40.

                       MILES (cont’d)
             land on the number that you saw on
             the inside of the hand.
MILES demonstrates the final part.
It’s just like he described and in SLOW MOTION the dice do 3
rotations as they roll down the tip of his index and middle
fingers and then drop off the tips landing on the 6 and a 3.
                       MILES
             You put those three steps together
             and do it fast enough and you can
             roll whatever you want.
He hands the dice to JOHN
                       MILES
             Here. You try.
JOHN takes the dice, and tries it.
                         JOHN
             6 and a 2
The dice are a 1 and a 4.
                       MILES
             No, you just want to let them roll
             off the tips of your fingers.
JOHN adjusts and tries again
                         JOHN
             3 and a 5
He rolls the dice.
It looks better, but a 4 and a 2 pop up.
                       MILES
             Eh, keep practicing.

INT - TRAIN STATION - DAY
John and Miles navigate a busy train station already
bustling with people.
                       JOHN
             Platform 93. Where is it? Is there
             some hologram wall we have to run
             through?


                                                  (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               41.


                       MILES
             No, it’s actually just around this
             corner.
The two of them round the corner and see a giant archway
almost 30 feet high constructed solely of multicolored
balloons. with a sign: "WELCOME TO THE 2009 MONOPOLY MASTERS
TOURNAMENT!"
                       JOHN
             Not very well hidden...
Miles leads them down the path.

INT. TRAIN STATION - REGISTRATION TABLE - BACK OF LINE
MILES and JOHN follow the path until they reach a LINE of
people waiting to get to the REGISTRATION TABLE.
JOHN and Miles go to the back of the line next to a FARMER
                       JOHN
             This doesn’t seem so bad. The line
             is pretty small.
                       FARMER
             Well, you best get comfortable
             because this short line hasn’t
             moved in quite some time
                       JOHN
             What’s the problem?
                       FARMER
             Oh nothing. Just some whack job at
             the front of the line causing a
             bunch of ruckus.
He points towards the FRONT OF THE LINE and the CAMERA
follows his GAZE

INT. TRAIN STATION - FRONT OF LINE
The line leads to a series of TELLER WINDOWS. Standing in
front of one of them and causing the delay is a a KNIGHT
clad in full plate mail berating the TELLER
                       KNIGHT
             Listen you miserable wench, I have
             traveled all the way from my castle
             in New England to play in this
                       (MORE)
                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              42.


                       KNIGHT (cont’d)
             tournament! Now give me my horse
             and rider piece so that I may be on
             my way!
His voice echoes in his helmet as he speaks making him sound
like Darth Vader lost in a cave.
                       TELLER
             Sir, it’s like I’ve been trying to
             tell you: According to the Official
             Parker Bros Monopoly Tournament
             Guidelines only two of each of the
             official twelve pieces can be
             assigned in each tournament. That
             means only two players can have the
             Horse and Rider piece and
             unfortunately, you are not one of
             them.
                       KNIGHT
             Oh I see how this works..
The knight begins fishing around his costume searching for
something
                       KNIGHT
             Damn this blasted thing for not
             having pockets! Anyway, my dear
             madame somewhere on my person is a
             gold doubloon. What do you say to
             that?
                       TELLER
             I say that we here at the Monopoly
             commission do not accept bribes and
             that if you don’t leave sir I shall
             have to call security.
                       KNIGHT
             Well if you will not give me the
             piece, perhaps you can give me the
             names of the two culprits that have
             stolen my piece. Perhaps they would
             be willing to trade.
                       TELLER
             I’m afraid that’s not possible sir.
                       KNIGHT
             And why the bloody hell not?



                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              43.


                       TELLER
             The pieces themselves are
             personalized. Each is laser
             engraved with the players name on
             it as well as electronically synced
             to go with our system. As such, it
             is impossible to trade pieces.
                       KNIGHT
             Well that’s just great. What piece
             do you have me assigned to then?
                       TELLER
             A battleship.
                       KNIGHT
             A bloody battleship? Well that’s
             just great! Do I look like I belong
             on a battleship? Were I to fall
             overboard I’d sink!
He goes off on a tear, ranting about repressed iron workers
and the buoyancy of metal.

INT. TRAIN STATION - BACK OF LINE
                       JOHN
             Wow. I’m glad I didn’t get stuck
             behind him in the X-Ray machine...
                       FARMER
             I know. Pretty ridiculous isn’t it?
             I mean me, I get dressed up. It’s
             fun. But you don’t start throwing a
             temper tantrum just cause some
             other guy took your piece. Honestly
             the guy is lucky. Some guy started
             some shit like this at a
             tournament, same kind of thing, and
             two dudes without saying a word
             stepped out of line, pulled the guy
             aside and started beating some
             sense into him. And I mean really
             laying into him. Guy was lucky to
             get out of there alive.
                       JOHN
             Holy shit. And no one said
             anything?




                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              44.


                       FARMER
             Fuck no! The crowd cheered and the
             guards let them have their spots
             back in line.
                          JOHN
             Wow.
                       FARMER
             I know man. It’s just a different
             world... Hey maybe I should just go
             over there and teach him a
             lesson...
The FARMER leans forward looking like he is going to jump
in.
                       JOHN
             Whoa whoa. It’s alright.
John puts his arm on his chest holding him back. More as a
gesture than an actual promise as there is no way John would
be able to hold back the behemoth farmer.
                       JOHN (CONTD)
             See? It’s all good. He’s leaving.
The two of them watch from a distance as the KNIGHT storms
off and the FARMER goes to the teller he was at previously.
                       TELLER # 2
             I can take the next person.

INT. TRAIN STATION - FRONT OF LINE
JOHN slides his paperwork across the table to the lady who
quickly begins inputting data into a computer.
                       TELLER #2
             Hello John. I see this is your
             first time at the tournament.
             Congratulations!
                          JOHN
             Thank you.
                       TELLER #2
             Alright, you’re all set. You’re at
             Table 4 for the first round and I
             have your ticket, and seat
             assignment here and most
             importantly your piece. Make sure
                       (MORE)
                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                            45.


                       TELLER #2 (cont’d)
             not to lose it as they are
             irreplaceable and you will forfeit
             the tournament if you do.
She slides over a TABLE MARKER with the number four on it, a
TICKET and a PIECE, which in John’s case is a RACECAR with
his name engraved on it sitting on a raised base.
                       TELLER #2
             Oh Miles! I can take your paperwork
             as well.
                       JOHN
             Oh he’s not competing. He just came
             to chaperone...
John watches with a stunned look on his face as Miles slides
his paperwork across the table.
                       TELLER # 2
             Looks alright to me. Your going to
             be at Table 6 for the first round.
             Also, here is your ticket, your
             seat assignment and...
                       TELLER #2
                  (sliding the piece across)
             Your customary Horse and Rider
             Piece.
Upon hearing this the KNIGHT from before BURSTS out from off
screen and LUNGES for the piece.
                       KNIGHT
             So you’re the thieving scallywag
             that has stolen by piece! Give it
             back!
                       TELLER #2
             Oh good grief! Security!
CUT to TWO RENT-A-COPS standing guard that come running
                       KNIGHT
             This is ridiculous! He doesn’t even
             have a scabbard! He.. WAIT! Let go
             of me!
The TWO RENT-A-COPS grab the knight and haul him away, his
armor bumping and scraping across the wooden floor.
                                                46.


INT. TRAIN STATION PLATFORM 93
                    JOHN
          Mind explaining that to me?
                    MILES
          What can I say there are some
          people that get really attached to
          their pieces.
                    JOHN
          No not that. I mean you entering
          the tournament. How do you get to
          go? You didn’t take the test or the
          essays or any of that.
                    MILES
          Well do you remember me saying that
          the top 23 in the online tournament
          go on to the finals?
                    JOHN
          No, but go on.
                    MILES
          Well doesn’t that strike you as an
          odd number? 23? Not a round number
          24 or 25?
                    JOHN
          I don’t know. I figured the head of
          Parker Bros was big into
          numerology.
                    MILES
          The previous national champion gets
          to return to defend his title. That
          was me last year.
                    JOHN
          So because of that you get to go to
          the tournament without taking the
          test or any of that crap?
                    MILES
          Pretty much.
                    JOHN
          That is bullshit!
                                                      47.


INT. TRAIN STATION - BOARDING PLATFORM
The two of them walk up to see the READING RAILROAD, the
train that takes them to the tournament. The front car looks
just like the Monopoly piece; an authentic 1920’s Train Car
with a giant smoke stack pumping smoke into the air. Behind
it is a modern Amtrak train, the sides of which are covered
in images of Chance, Go, and Community Chest.
                    MILES
          You ready to take a ride on the
          Reading Railroad?
                    JOHN
          It’s pronounced Redding.
                    MILES
          No it’s not. Still, this is your
          last chance to bail out.
                    JOHN
          Not a chance.
                    MILES
          Good. Now once we past the doors
          the tournament officially starts.
          And keep in mind when you’re there,
          this isn’t Family Game Night, or
          game night with your pals. Hell
          this isn’t even like the online
          game tournaments. Last year on the
          train a woman shot her husband, who
          was also in the tournament, because
          he wouldn’t trade her Park Place.
          Are you ready for that kind of
          commitment?
                    JOHN
          I think so.
                    MILES
          Good, then I’ll see you on the
          other side.

INT. TRAIN CAR 4
The door slides open and John steps into train car 4
carrying a bagel and a cup of orange juice. He looks around
at the room.




                                                 (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              48.


It’s a luxurious train compartment. At the center of the car
is a large poker table with a number four in the center and
a Monopoly board already setup. Attached to it is a strange
DEVICE with four circular dents with microchip diodes on
them, and a small LED light.
John eyes all of this with a sense of curiosity and takes a
seat at the table.
He is just finishing his bagel when the cabin door opens and
in steps a man dressed like a TRAIN CONDUCTOR
                       JOHN
             Hey. Uh, I have my ticket right
             here...
John begins fumbling around his coat pocket searching for
it.
                       TRAIN CONDUCTOR
             Ha, no I don’t work here. I’m here
             for the tournament.
The TRAIN CONDUCTOR sets down his piece on the table, a
train with ENG. PHILLIP PURCELL engraved on it.
                       JOHN
             So you’re into trains I guess
                        ENGINEER PURCELL
             Yep. Been either riding them or
             working on them my whole life. What
             about you? You into Nascar or
             something?
                       JOHN
             No I just like the race car piece.
                       MAN (O.S.)
             Hell yeah man! The race car is the
             best!
JOHN and PHILLIP turn to see a large MAN enter the cabin.
                       MAN
             Couldn’t help overhearing your
             conversation and I’m going to have
             to agree with my man here.
THE MAN slams his piece down on the table. It is identical
to John’s aside from the name: ERIC STROTHAM



                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              49.


                       ERIC
             The car is definitely the best!
             High five for picking the best
             piece!
He raises his hand in the ready position and John smacks it.
                       ERIC
             Man every time I see this piece it
             reminds me of my ’Betsy’. She
             looked just like that. Well, I mean
             not quite the same. Ol’ Betsy was a
             1978 Pontiac Firebird. And when you
             hit the gas on Betsy she flew! I
             had a lot of good times in that
             car. And so did a lot of lucky
             ladies! You know one in the front
             two in back. That’s a party! You
             know what I’m talking about?
An awkward pause. John clearly doesn’t know what he’s
talking about.
                       ERIC (CONTD)
             Man listen to me getting all
             sentimental over a hunk of metal.
             What about you buddy? What was your
             baby’s name?
                       JOHN
             I didn’t have a car. I mean, I just
             like the piece because Monopoly, at
             least in the early stages is a race
             to grab the properties. And the
             problem is that everything else
             looks like it would just take it’s
             sweet time. Battleship is slow as
             hell, dog is just standing there.
             Hell, the cannon doesn’t even look
             like it can move without something
             pulling it. But the car I mean it’s
             a race car! Crouched on the
             starting line ready to go, aching
             for you to roll those double sixes
             and blast it out of the starting
             gate. Plus it’s a palindrome.
Everyone stares at him in silence.
                       ERIC
             Yeah totally. Still man, that’s
             cool. In this whole tournament
             there are only two cars and we
                       (MORE)
                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              50.


                       ERIC (cont’d)
             manage to meet in the first round.
             I’m a big believer in signs and
             fate and all that shit and I think
             this one means that us two should
             stick together and try to help each
             other out. What do you think Car
             Buddy?
                          JOHN
             Yeah sure.
                       ERIC
             Alright! Well let’s get this thing
             started!
                       ENGINEER PURCELL
             We are still missing one guy.
                       ERIC
             Not any more we ain’t!
The group turns to see a tall wiry guy with glasses walk
through the door.
                       ERIC
             I swear if your piece is a car too
             I’m gonna freak out!
The WIRY GUY slams his piece on the table. It is a sack of
money with the name RALPH HEARST engraved on it.
                       ERIC
             Well there’s another sign! You Mr.
             Moneybags are banker! That cool
             with you?
                       RALPH
                  (shrugging)
             Yeah, sure. Whatever.
                       ERIC
             Everyone else cool with that?
ERIC turns to the rest of the group, an almost menacing look
in his eyes.
                       ALL
             Yeah yeah. Sounds good.
Eric winks at Ralph



                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               51.

                       ERIC
             Alright, let’s go! Everyone sync
             up!
JOHN watches as each player sets their pieces in the slots
on the strange DEVICE. As they do, they snap in and a green
light turns on and the board chirps. They then remove them
and start rolling for position.
John follows suit.
With that done it’s finally time for the tournament to
begin.

INT. TRAIN CAR 4 - TOURNAMENT ROUND 1
                       JOHN
             $16.
                       ERIC
             Can I get change for a $50?
ERIC hands the bank $50 and in return the banker hands ERIC
a PILE OF MONEY
CLOSE on PILE. It is three $10 bills, 3 $5 bills and random
assorted change that adds up to $60. From that pile, ERIC
counts out $16.
JOHN eyes this curiously but says nothing.

INT. TOURNAMENT ROUND 1 - LATER IN THE MATCH
                       JOHN
             Hey Rick, you sure that’s right? 62
             minus 20. That’s 42 not $50.
                       RALPH
             Whoops. My bad.
                        JOHN
             I only say something since that’s
             like the fourth time you’ve made a
             mistake...
                       ERIC
             Hey no one’s perfect.
                       JOHN
             Funny how he only seems to make
             mistakes when he’s giving you
             money.

                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              52.


ERIC stands up, an angry look in his eye
                        ERIC
             You calling me a cheater small fry?
                          JOHN
             No...
                       ERIC
             Then why don’t you just sit down
             and play the game.
ENGINEER rolls Double 2’s.
                          ENGINEER PURCELL
             Twoo Twoo!
He says it like Choo Choo and blows the train whistle around
his neck.
JOHN lands on B&O railroad.
                        JOHN
             Now we have something to trade.
                       ENGINEER PURCELL
             What do you want for it?
                       JOHN
             I’ll give you the railroad plus
             Illinois for Ventnor and States.
                        ENGINEER PURCELL
             But that gives you two Monopolies
             for one!
                       JOHN
             Yeah but it does give you all four
             railroads. Plus it’s the only way
             you are going to get a Monopoly.
             Now, do you want to make a deal?
ENGINEER PURCELL sits there a moment thinking about it.
                       ENGINEER PURCELL
             No it’s too much.
                          JOHN
             Fine
                  (turning to Eric)
             What about you Eric? I’ll trade you
             Baltic and Pacific for St. James.


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                            53.


                        ERIC
             I dunno.. neither of those are very
             good Monopolies.
                       JOHN
             Well, what if I throw in B&O as
             well. What do you say then?
ENGINEER PURCELL who has been eying all of this perks up at
the mention of B&O railroad being given away and begins
looking around desperately.
                       ENGINEER PURCELL
             Fine fine. I’ll take your deal.
                       JOHN
             Hey that deal is past. If you want
             B&O now you are going to have to
             pay another $500 for it.
                       ENGINEER PURCELL
             What?! That is ludicrous!
                        JOHN
             Fine... Eric, back to you. What is
             your decision?
                       ENGINEER PURCELL
             Wait I’ll take it! Here! Ventnor
             and States plus $450. That’s all
             the cash I have on hand.
                       JOHN
             Deal.
JOHN drops his money on the table.
                       JOHN
                  (to Ralph the banker)
             I’ll get my own change.
He grabs the money and makes his change and then drops 3
houses on each of the purple properties.

INT. TRAIN CAR 5 - ABOUT 30 MINUTES LATER
The board is covered in hotels and John has a giant pile of
cash.
                       JOHN
             Enjoy the ride back fellows.
                                                      54.


INT. TRAIN CAR - HALLWAY - NIGHT
JOHN walks along the train.
He runs into MILES
                    MILES
          How did it go?
                    JOHN
          Well I certainly wish you would
          have told me the tournament started
          on a train but I did alright.
                    MILES
          Surprise is the spice of life.
                    JOHN
          Hey where is this train going
          anyway?
                    MILES
          Atlantic City. The city of broken
          dreams. And if you look now, we’re
          almost there.
JOHN peers through the window.
Through it, he sees the beautiful skyline of Atlantic City.

EXT. ATLANTIC CITY - NIGHT
Stock footage of Atlantic City.
Neon lights illuminate signs that fill the sky.Casinos and
glitz and glamor. Like Vegas with less hookers and more
Ferris Wheels.

EXT. ATLANTIC CITY TRAIN STATION - NIGHT
John walks down the gangplank at the train station where a
crowd waits below.
Each of them is waving signs with names and slogans on it
it. He scans the crowd and is surprised to see JOSIE
standing there waving at him.
                    JOHN
          Hey Josie! What are you doing here?



                                                 (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              55.


                        JOSIE
             Well, with the school’s financial
             problems Principal Irving decided
             to start spring break a little
             early this year. Add that to the
             fact that your ticket has a +1
             attached which means free room and
             board for a weekend in Atlantic
             City and my raging gambling
             addiction and I couldn’t say no.
                       JOHN
                  (sarcastically)
             Oh I see. So you are just here for
             the casinos.
                       JOSIE
             Well, that and I was kinda hoping
             you would take me for a walk on the
             boardwalk... Win me a teddy bear...
                          JOHN
             We’ll see.
                       MILES (O.S.)
             So I guess you two love birds found
             each other.
                       JOHN
                  (hurriedly)
             Lovers? No I mean we are just good
             friends.
CLOSE ON JOSIE whose face is visibly hurt from the comment.
She quickly lowers her head and steps away embarrassed.
                       MILES
             Anyway, we had better get checked
             in to the hotel. Tournament proper
             starts tomorrow and you are going
             to need all your rest before then.

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - NIGHT
MILES, DAVID and JOSIE are streaming through the hotel lobby
wheelie bags in tow.
Suddenly, out of nowhere David Darrow, the celebrity prick
from the Monopoly tent appears standing in front of them.




                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               56.


                       DAVID
                  (to John)
             Well well look who it is? The
             Pennsylvania St. School Champion
             John Todd! My I was certain I would
             never see you again. I guess the
             tournaments entry policy has gotten
             a little more lenient in the
             intervening years.
                  (to Miles)
             And look! Last years Monopoly
             National Champion Miles Davis. I
             suppose I would be more impressed
             by the title if I had been sober
             enough at our finals match to even
             walk in a straight line. I look
             forward to showing you how much of
             a fluke it truly was.
                  (to Josie)
             And who are you? The maid? If you
             are could you please fetch me some
             fresh towels? We’re all out.
                       JOSIE
                  (seething)
             My name is Josie and I’m a teacher
             at the school that your despicable
             father is about to tear down!
                       DAVID
             Whoa... Down pussycat. Maybe you
             should be quiet and let the men
             talk business
Josie is about to lunge at him when out of the woman’s
restroom steps a beautiful BLONDE GIRL
John’s eyes bulge as he realizes it’s the same girl from the
tournament who took photos with him.
                       BLONDE GIRL
             Oh David. Who are your friends?
                       DAVID
             Everyone, this is my girlfriend
             Barbara Evangoria. Though everyone
             calls her Barbie.
                       BARBIE
             Hi everyone!
                  (to John)
             Oh hey! I remember you! You were
             the cutie that won the tournament!

                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                             57.


She gives him a hug and John smiles as she does pleased that
she remembers him.
David eyes all of this with a menacing glare.
                       DAVID
             We really should get going.
                       BARBIE
             Well it was nice seeing you all
             again. And we’ll see all of you at
             the tables right tomorrow right?
                       DAVID
                  (muttering)
             If any of you make it that far.
David turns and leaves.
                       BARBIE
             I’m sure you will John.
She blows a kiss and then turns and leaves.
                       JOSIE
             Of all the people to run into we
             have to run into those twits.
                       JOHN
                  (Still in a daze)
             Yeah. Just a shame
                       MILES
             Well alright. Let’s go unpack.

INT - TV STUDIO - PRE TOURNAMENT SHOW - NIGHT
A flashy intro flies by the screen.
In it’s wake, is left with four people sitting at a large
table.
The first of them is a man by the name of CHIP RODRIGUEZ.
He’s a handsome part Latino guy with a nice suit and tie and
good posture.
                       CHIP
             Hello, and welcome to the Pre-Game
             show brought to you by J-Mobile,
             Reach out and touch someone! My
             name is Chip Rodriguez and I’ll be
             with you the whole afternoon
                       (MORE)
                                                  (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              58.


                       CHIP (cont’d)
             commenting on every single little
             thing that happens this whole game.
                       CHIP (CONT’D)
             Also with me is my faithful
             compatriot Rex Cunningham
REX CUNNINGHAM, 40, is a dark haired guy with a mustache and
beard and a bad toupee that tends to reveal itself as such
whenever he moves a lot
                       REX
             Fan-frickin-tastic to Be Here Chip!
                        CHIP
             Also joining us in the studio today
             is the beautiful Allison
             Beckinheart star of the upcoming
             movie "My Boyfriend is a Crazy Axe
             Murderer!"
CLOSE ON ALLISON
ALLISON, 25, is a bubbly blonde. Beautiful, and fun to look
at but you get the feeling from her squeaky high pitched
voice and vapid look in her eyes that if forced to spend any
lengthy amount of time with her you would strangle her to
death with her perfect blonde hair just so she would stop
talking.
                       ALLISON
                  (giggling.)
             Hi everyone!
                       CHIP
             And lastly, but certainly not least
             we are honored to have Dale
             Burkowski, the first National
             Monopoly champion and a true
             legend.
DALE BURKOWSKI, 60, is an elderly borderline senile old man
who looks old enough to be someone’s grandpa or even great
grandpa.
Also to note about Dale is that he is sleeping.
Rex quietly jabs him in the ribs and Dale jerks upright with
a start




                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               59.


                       DALE
             Good to be here Chip!
                       CHIP
             You know it’s weird. As soon as a
             tournament starts the first thing
             we want to know is the ending. So
             come on! Spoil the ending for us
             Allison! Who is going to win
             today’s tournament?
                       ALLISON
             Oh I don’t know. I’m not as big
             into it as you guys. However, I
             heard David Darrow is in today’s
             tournaments and I’m a big fan of
             his so I’m going to have to go with
             him. He’s pretty good right?
                       REX
             Good? The guy is phenomenal. Good
             pick Allison as it’s mine too. I
             mean since he burst onto the scene
             here with Celebrity Monopoly after
             his career took a nice dive with
             the failure of Oceanworld he has
             completely dominated this game
Cut to PHOTO of David Darrow playing Monopoly with Joe
Pesci, David Spade and Martin Lawrence on Celebrity
Monopoly.
                       REX
             He’s already won an astounding 8
             tournaments this year. 2 in the US,
             one in the UK, one in Zimbabwe.
             Heck he even won the underwater
             tournament this year. The guy is
             just a Monopoly playing machine and
             I don’t see anyone stopping him.
                       CHIP
             What about the other Grandmasters?
             There are three of them here today.
                       REX
             Well all three of them are solid
             players but David has already
             beaten most of these guys in the
             tournaments this year. I just
             really don’t see any of them
             winning.


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              60.


                       CHIP
             What about the rookies? Any of them
             you think stand a chance of
             dethroning him?
                       REX
             I haven’t seen one really that
             stands out.
                       CHIP
             What about Volheim, the boxer?
                       REX
             Too unstable. And too slow.
                       CHIP
             Well what about Ms Meriweather? She
             has a ton of online badges on Pogo.
             And the best online ranking of
             anyone who’s ever played Monopoly
             online.
                       REX
             Have you seen her? She’s like 90
             years old! I’ll be surprised if she
             doesn’t keel over before the games
             starts.
                       CHIP
             What about John Todd?
                       REX
             What about him?
                       CHIP
             Well rumors around town are that
             Miles Davis has been touting him
             around town as the next big thing.
                       REX
             You wanna make an argument about
             Miles winning I might listen. He
             won that last tournament on a
             fluke, but he’s clearly a solid
             player and might even have
             improved. But I don’t judge people
             by their company. They have to
             prove their skills and I’m not
             convinced John is good enough for
             this high level of tournament.




                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              61.


                       CHIP
             He had a solid victory against
             Engineer Purcell and Erik the Red
             in the first round...
                       REX
             Yeah but neither of those players
             are on David’s level. Listen, Round
             One has him at a table with
             Grandmaster Lieutenant Abraham
             Cartwright who won the UAF Monopoly
             tournament this year. If John makes
             it through that alive then maybe
             he’s got a shot.
                       CHIP
             What are your thoughts on the
             matter Dale?
                       DALE
             Definitely too early to call the
             winner for me.
                       CHIP
             Well what about in general. The
             theme about whether this tournament
             is going to be won by an veteran or
             a rookie?
                       DALE
             Well I mean you know.. It’s like
             the tournament is a forest. And in
             this forest there are young trees
             and old trees. The old trees they
             have their roots in the ground. And
             they are stuck and aren’t going
             anywhere. On the other hand, you
             got the young trees. Now, they are
             a lot younger so they don’t have
             those firm roots so they are quick
             and flexible. Able to sway and flow
             in the wind.
He pauses and turns to the rest of the group.
                       DALE
             Do you know what I’m saying?
                          CHIP
             Not a clue
The rest of the crowd also shakes their head in confusion


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                             62.


                       CHIP
             Well that’s about all the time we
             have for today. Stay tuned tomorrow
             for our live coverage of the event
             and half-time show where we’ll
             discuss the results of this match
             plus the others.

INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
JOHN and MILES who had been watching the TV turn it off.
                       JOHN
             Great. So I have to face one of
             those Grandmasters in the first
             round?
                       MILES
             It’s called seeding. To ensure that
             the front runners both make it the
             finals and don’t knock each other
             out in the first round, they are
             placed in opposite blocks in the
             tournament and put up against
             lesser players. All the major
             sports tournaments do it.
                        JOHN
             Well I already faced one of those
             Grandmaster guys in the first round
             right? That Engineer guy or the
             angry one?
                       MILES
             No, you got lucky that round and
             didn’t have to face one. This is
             your true test. For now though,
             just get some sleep. You have a big
             day tomorrow.

EXT. ATLANTIC CITY CONVENTION CENTER - DAY
                       MILES
             Well, ready to enter the great wide
             world of Monopoly?
                       JOHN
             Yeah
John and Miles push open the two giant double doors.
                                                       63.


INT - TOURNAMENT HALL
John and Miles push the double doors open. And, just like in
Dark Side of the Rainbow where if you did it correctly the
second disc starts just as Dorothy lands in Oz, the plink of
cash registers from Pink Floyd’s classic song "Money" is
heard as the CAMERA PUSHES SLOWLY into the COLORFUL world of
the TOURNAMENT FLOOR.
As John, Miles and Josie look around at the wonders around
them the song continues.
The room they are standing in is the interior of the
Atlantic City convention center.
The ceilings are over 80 feet tall from which hang giant
banners of the Monopoly players both still playing and of
long past. There is one of a young Dale Burkowski, and in
front of John, a giant David Darrow that looms over him.
Ahead there are booths selling everything imaginable with
Monopoly on it. Pens, hats, shoes, shirts, souvenir cups,
bottled water, gum, Candy bars, boxers, little stuffed Mr.
Monopoly dolls.
And of course every version of Monopoly imaginable.The
standards like Classic Monopoly, Monopoly Junior, World
Monopoly, Mega Monopoly, Monopoly Stock Exchange Addon,
Monopoly Credit Card Addon, and Monopoly the Card Game.
They also have all the themed Monopoly sets. Star Wars
Monopoly, Simpsons Monopoly, Medical Monopoly, Malta
Monopoly, Fed-Ex Monopoly, 3d Puzzle Monopoly, Bass Fishing
Monopoly. Even Dog Artist Monopoly.
At the end of the walkway, they go through two double doors
and enter the TOURNAMENT HALL

INT. TOURNAMENT HALL - DAY
This is a large room with a giant ELECTRONIC LEADER BOARD,
and entrances to the three Table Rooms, each with a ramp
leading downward for the LOCKER ROOM, and stairs leading
upward where people are already beginning to go to enter the
MONOPOLY STADIUM.
                    ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
          It’s been 5 minutes since the
          tournament started: have YOU
          decided who the J-Mobile player of
          the tournament is? Text your pick
          to 1(800) 386-7766
                                                        64.


INT. TV STUDIO - DAY
                    REX
          We are now just minutes away from
          the start of this tournament. No
          doubt each competitor is preparing
          for this tournament in their own
          way. Over the years I’ve heard
          stories of players spending this
          time playing practice games,
          putting on lucky socks, eating a
          favorite meal. One player swore to
          me he only played his best after
          eating a live goldfish. What about
          you Dale? What was your Pre-Game
          routine?
CUT to Dale who is snoring.
                    REX (CONT’D)
          Sleeping apparently.

INT. TOURNAMENT - LOCKER ROOM
It’s the bleachers before the big game. A vast underground
area with lockers lining the walls.
CAMERA pushes through the area following JOHN who walks past
the various competitors getting ready
RUSTY the BUM is stuffing food from the buffet into his
pockets.
ED the EXHIBITIONIST is enjoying a morning jog sans pants.
VOLHEIM the BOXER is alternating boxing the air and playing
a practice game
Half a dozen KIDS are running around, with LIA SANTOS
chasing after them.
Suddenly, a NUN stops him in his path.
                    NUN
          Sir, would you be so kind as to
          donate some money for the Zimbabwe
          St. James Cathedral? The foundation
          of our main chapel is falling apart
          due to aardvarks and we need the
          money to fix it so we can continue
          doing God’s work.


                                                 (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              65.


                          JOHN
             Aardvarks?
                       NUN
             Aye. Ya see the beams in the
             foundation of the cathedral are all
             infested with termites. That
             wouldn’t be so bad by it’s lonesome
             but a family of aardvarks have
             moved in as well. Now aardvarks eat
             the termites but when they do so
             they rip into the beams with their
             massive claws and over time they’ve
             grown quite weak.
                       JOHN
             Sure that seems like a worthy cause
JOHN gets some money out of his wallet
                        JOHN
             So I guess this is your backup plan
             in case you don’t win the
             tournament
                       NUN
             Aye sir. God works in mysterious
             ways and I simply follow the path
             that has He has lain out for me.
             Perhaps it takes me to victory in
             the tournament or perhaps to the
             kindness of strangers. Either way,
             His will is done.
                       JOHN
             So you don’t believe in luck?
                       NUN
             God does not play dice.
JOHN leaves and continues walking down the hallway.
He passes OTTO, an Asian kid, playing on his Game Boy
Finally he sits down on a bench and soon MILES walks up from
behind him.
                       MILES
             Hey sluggo. You ready for the big
             match?




                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              66.


                       JOHN
             Yeah I guess.
                       MILES
             Did you remember to stretch? Last
             thing you want to do out there is
             to pull a muscle and hurt yourself.
                       JOHN
             I’ll be fine
                       MILES
             Well do you want to play a practice
             game? To get warmed up and all?
                       JOHN
             No I’m good.
Miles looks at JOHN who is clearly down about something.
                       MILES
             Alright. Somethings bugging you.
             Out with it.
                       JOHN
             Nothing. I mean I’m just getting
             ready to go up against one of the
             best players in the world my first
             day out for an epic showdown that
             will decide the rest of my life.
             Aside from all that, I’m doing
             super.
                       MILES
             You seemed fine on the railroad
             fight.
                       JOHN
             Yeah well that was a surprise. But
             now I’ve had time to think about it
             and this stupid little black box
             has got me all psyched out about
             Grandmasters and legacies and all
             that garbage.
                       MILES
             Well what the hell you doing
             listening to them for? They are a
             bunch of dimwits trying to fill air
             with inane comments!




                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                                67.


                       JOHN
             So what does matter? This board
             game?
                       MILES
             Yeah. Trust me, Monopoly is more
             than just some old board game. Let
             me tell you a story. My grandfather
             was in World War II and one day he
             got captured by the Nazis. He was
             taken to a prison camp and tortured
             every day for months. One day, a
             shipment arrived of supplies one of
             which was a Monopoly board. The
             Nazi’s originally took them away
             but changed their mind. Seemed
             harmless enough. Except these were
             special kits designed by the
             British SAS and they had a secret
             compartment with real money to
             bribe the guards, a compass and a
             map of where nearby British camps
             were.
                       JOHN
             Neat story but whats the point?
                       MILES
             The point is sometimes this
             Monopoly game has something in it
             besides dice and tokens. Some kind
             of map to help us find ourselves.
             But it’s hidden in secret
             compartments and sometimes you
             gotta look for it. You said earlier
             you believed fate brought you here?
                       JOHN
             Yeah
                       MILES
             Well don’t you think it did for a
             reason? You gotta trust it knows
             where you’re going and just follow
             along enjoying the experience along
             the way. And everything else will
             work itself out.
                                                   SMASH CUT TO:
                                                      68.


INT. MONOPOLY STADIUM - DAY
The stadium is a large rectangle upon which is four chairs
and a table. Surrounding it on all sides are bleachers, and
high above is a JUMBOTRON and complicated lights and
speakers.

INT. CONTROL BOOTH
High above the crowd CHIP and REX sit microphones in hand
staring through the glass window at the STADIUM below.
                    CHIP
          We are just minutes away from the
          start and the opening ceremonies
          are starting.

INT - MONOPOLY STADIUM - DAY
The lights have gone down and it is now black. The only
light is from the flashbulbs of eager fans taking pictures
of nothing.
Suddenly, the JumboTron lights up.
On it is a highly edited slick montage of Monopoly.
People rolling dice, flexing. Countless images of David
Darrow decimating his oppponents.
It ends with the logo for the 2009 Monopoly Masters
Championship.
Suddenly, an explosion fills the center of the arena and
colored smoke erupts from the tournament floor.
In it’s wake stands MR. MONOPOLY and a cadre of cheerleaders
who begin running around the arena and dancing in a highly
choreographed hip-hop dance sequence to that 1990 classic
"Pump up the Jam"
The crowd goes wild as colored spotlights begin swooping
around the arena.
                    ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
          Live from the Monopoly Masters
          Tournament in Atlantic City for the
          hundreds in attendance and the
          thousands watching around the world
          Ladies and Gentleman, let’s get
          Ready to Roll!

                                                 (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              69.


The crowd erupts in applause!
                       ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
             In this corner weighing in at 95
             and 105 pounds respectively, the
             two headed titan of the tournament,
             KAREN and KRISTEN the Tatsuragi
             Twins!
CLOSE on the Tatsuragi Twins a group of 20 year old siamese
twins joined at the hip, waving and cheering to the crowd
                       ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
             In this corner weighing in at 135
             pounds of pure untested talent, the
             newcomer and most likely to lose
             this tournament, John Todd!
CLOSE on JOHN waving awkwardly to the huge crowd around him.
                       ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
             In this corner weighing in at a
             blistering 250 pounds the terror of
             the seven seas, Captain Abraham
             Cunningham!"
CLOSE On LT CARTWRIGHT
LT. CARTWRIGHT, 60, is a big guy. Short with wide shoulders,
covered in a navy uniform. His face is covered with a gray
beard and scraggly gray mustache.
                       CROWD
             ICEBERG! ICEBERG! ICCE-BBERRRGGG!
                       ANNOUNCER
             And in this corner, a woman too old
             to ask her weight, the bespeccled
             Mistress of the online world Ms.
             Meriweather!
CLOSE on MS. MERIWEATHER
MS. MERIWEATHER, 70. She is an an older woman. Small eyes,
covered by thick bifocals. In her arms is a basket that
looks like Red Riding Hood just delivered it to her this
morning.
                       ANNOUCNER
             Let’s get ready to roll!
The crowd explodes into applause again.


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               70.


                       CHIP (VO)
             The table is set, the players are
             ready. Who will win this white hot
             tournament and claim victory?

INT. MONOPOLY STADIUM - DAY
DICE fall onto the table and it sounds like a gunshot.
They stop on a 4 and a 2 and JOHN moves his piece the 6
spaces.
                       CHIP
             And they’re off! The first die has
             been cast and John’s car rockets
             forward 6 spaces to the lead!
                       REX (V.O.)
             Probably the only time this game
             that will happen
                       CHIP (V.O.)
             Hey, be nice.
                       REX (V.O.)
             Just saying Chip, the kids got a
             snowballs chance in hell of making
             it past Lt. Iceberg.
Ms. Meriweather rolls and gets one of the pinks.
JOHN’s stomach grumbles
Ms. Meriweather pulls a cookie out of her basket.
                       MS. MERIWEATHER
             Cookie?
                       JOHN
             Yes please.
JOHN hungrily grabs at the cookie and stuffs it in his
mouth.
MS. MERIWEATHER smiles
As John sits there, he quickly is obviously becoming more
and more uncomfortable and nauseous.
                       BANKER
             Your turn sir.


                                                    (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              71.


He hands JOHN the dice. JOHN hastily picks them up and drops
them lazily landing him on Kentucky
                       KRISTEN AND KAREN
             Whee! You owe us $16!
John throws the pile of money at the twins.

INT. CONTROL BOOTH - DAY
                       CHIP
             Something is clearly wrong with
             John
                       REX
             Must be nervous. I knew he couldn’t
             handle this level of play.

INT. MONOPOLY STADIUM - DAY
                       MS. MERIWEATHER
             What’s wrong pansy? You don’t like
             my special cookies?
                       JOHN
             No...
                       MS. MERIWEATHER
             I guess your mother never told you
             to not take food from strangers.
             Especially because the cookies may
             have epicac in it.
                       JOHN
             Can I take a bathroom break?
                       REFEREE
             If you leave your chair that counts
             as a disqualification. You are
             going to have to wait for the
             intermission period at the 40
             minute mark.
John groans.
TIME On SCREEN: 50 MINUTES
JOHN is in the middle of trading with the Siamese twins.




                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                            72.


                       JOHN
             Fine, Kentucky for Oriental and
             $500
                       KRISTEN
             Deal!
                        KAREN
             Whoa whoa! Wait a minute! What are
             you thinking taking a lopsided deal
             like that?
They continue bickering

INT. CONTROL BOOTH - DAY
                       REX
             Kinda makes you wonder if two heads
             really are better than one...
                        CHIP
             Is she allowed to change her mind
             like that?
                       REX
             Ordinarily the rule is that any
             deal that is agreed to by both
             parties becomes final...
                       CHIP
             Ah yes. The original "No
             Take-Backsies" rule of 1975.
                       REX
             However this is certainly a special
             case.
                       CHIP
             The judges look confused as well.

INT. MONOPOLY STADIUM - JUDGES TABLE -      DAY
Three judges in the corner are arguing amongst themselves
and one of them is frantically turning the pages in a giant
tome of a rule book.
                       CHIP (VO)
             It looks like they are going to
             allow it though.
                                                    73.


INT. MONOPOLY STADIUM - DAY
John stares impatiently at the clock.
TIME LEFT ON SCREEN: 38 minutes
                    JOHN
          Why haven’t you called an
          intermission?
                    REFEREE
          I am waiting for the trade to
          finish.
                    JOHN
               (desperately)
          What if I threw in B&O?
                    KAREN
          Jeez, do we look like our
          fertilized egg partially split
          yesterday? No railroad is worth
          giving you a better Monopoly! Pass
          Kristen.
                    KRISTEN
          No, I accept the deal.
                    KRISTEN
          Hey this is my game! You were just
          supposed to watch.
                    KAREN
          And I am. Watching out for you to
          make sure you don’t get screwed!
                    KRISTEN
          Yeah well maybe I’m tired of you
          looking over my shoulder all the
          time. Maybe I just want to live my
          own life!
ON JUDGE who turns to the twins.
                    JOHN
          WILL BOTH OF YOU JUST DECIDE SO I
          CAN GO TO THE BATHROOM?!
                    KAREN
          Jeez if you are going to try and
          strong arm us like that then pass.



                                               (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              74.


                       JOHN
             Thank goodness.
John races to the bathroom.
TIME ON SCREEN: 30 minutes
                       CHIP
             Well it looks like after that
             bathroom break things are starting
             to look up for John and he got the
             games first Natural Monopoly
                       REX (V.O.)
             But he’s has pushed to hotels a
             little early and is now a bit
             cashstrapped. If he lands on those
             pinks with hotels, he is going to
             have to sell houses which will set
             him way behind and may cost him the
             game.
JOHN takes a deep breath.
Then he picks up the dice and starts shaking them in his
hand and rolls just as Miles taught him with the Dutch drop
and the dice land on a 4 and a 2 which sends him to Chance
                       JOHN
             Collect $50 from each player.
JOHN breathes a sigh of relief as he collects his money.
MS. MERIWEATHER’s turn. She picks up the dice and rolls. She
is not as lucky as John though and she lands on his
property.
                       CHIP (V.O.)
             Ooh and it looks like John’s risky
             maneuver paid off. Ms. Meriweather
             is forced to sell her houses.
LT. Cartwright rolls a twelve which sends his Battleship
from Free Parking to Jail completely bypassing John’s
properties.
                       JOHN
             Man tough luck. That’s like the
             third time you’ve been in jail.
                       LT. CARTWRIGHT
             Who said I didn’t do it on purpose?
             Early game it’s a great way to get
                       (MORE)
                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               75.

                       LT. CARTWRIGHT (cont’d)
             around the board and late game it’s
             a good way to avoid paying rent
             while still collecting property.
As if to prove his point, the TWINS roll a 10 and the speed
die sends them flying to the Green Monopoly.
                       LT. CARTWRIGHT
             $800.
The twins count their money but they have to put up their
four arms in surrender.
                       CHIP
             Ooh and the beautiful Teriyaki
             twins are out of the tournament!
             Now it’s just a race to see who can
             knock out Ms. Meriweather and seal
             the victory!
Ms. Meriweather goes again and lands on Baltic which Lt.
Cartwright now has hotels on.
                       REX
             Ooh and that won’t be enough! Next
             hit will finish her though.
                       MS. MERIWEATHER
             Oh come on you pansies finish me
             off! I’m missing Bingo.
Lt. Cartwright rolls again and it’s 4 and a 3. Another turn
in jail.
JOHN lands on another mortgaged property and then mortgages
what he has between Ms. Meriweather and his hotels.
Ms. Meriweather rolls a 9 and a speed die which puts her on
John’s property.
                       CHIP
             Ooh and that will do it! Ms.
             Meriweather is out of the game! All
             of her property goes to John Todd!
             But will it be enough?
                       JOHN
             Alright Lietenant that’s 3 turns in
             jail. Time to roll and get out. And
             look, I got nice new hotels for you
             to stay at!
However, he rolls an 8 which sends him to chance.

                                                    (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              76.


                       LT. CARTWRIGHT
             "Go Directly to Jail". Not your
             lucky day kid.
John curses as Lt. Cartwright goes back to Jail.
TIME ON SCREEN: 5 minutes
Lt. Cartwright rolls double 3’s, which pulls him out of jail
and he lands on St. James place.
                       JOHN
             Yes, $500 please.
Lt. Abrahahm rolls double 1’s to put him on Tennesee.
                       JOHN
             Ooh another Orange. That will be
             another $500.
                       REX (V.O.)
             One more hit like that and John
             will have his victory for sure!
Lt. Iceberg picks up the dice and rolls Double 3’s which
puts his piece on Illinois, John’s property with a hotel.
However, it’s 3 Doubles in a Row so it’s straight to jail.
                       REX (V.O.)
             Ooh and Lt. Iceberg is saved by the
             rules! Three doubles in a row sends
             him straight to jail without paying
             for landing on Illinois!
                       CHIP (V.O.)
             One can hardly complain after
             hitting 2 properties in a row but
             John has got to be sore watching
             victory slip away.
CLOSE on JOHN who is clearly upset.
                       REX (V.O.)
             It’s just a matter of seeing if he
             can get him out of jail in time to
             deliver the killing blow
TIME ON SCREEN: 30 seconds
                       CHIP
             This is the last chance for John’s
             Titanic to sing the Iceberg!


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              77.


LT. CARTWRIGHT sits there playing with the dice in his hands
as the CLOCK ticks from 10 seconds.
                       JOHN
             Roll already!
LT. CARTWRIGHT rolls a 6 and a 2 and slowly moves his piece
one space at a time before putitng it on Teneesee Ave with
John’s hotel on it.
                       JOHN
             Yes!
TIME ON SCREEN: 0 minutes!
The alarm buzzes as the piece lands on John’s spot and his
money drains to $13,000 well below JOHN’s total and the
crowd goes crazy.
                       CHIP
             Wow! What an amazing finale!
                       REX
             I don’t believe it..
                       CHIP
             Well believe it! With that last
             second landing, John Todd has eeked
             past Lt. Cunningham and will enter
             the semi-finals! For now though, we
             turn our attention to the other
             tables. Allison is on the floor
             with with MAX CUNNINGHAM, one of
             the players from Table 1 where
             David Darrow has just claimed
             victory.
CUT to SHOW FLOOR where MAX CUNNINGHAM stands clumped under
a towel shivering like a traumatized war victim.
                       ALLISON
             Max, can you tell us what the match
             was like?
                       MAX
             It was a blood bath. Bankrupcies
             everywhere. I don’t know what
             happened! I’ve never seen anyone
             move so fast! I mean, 10 minutes in
             and he had Montgomery bankrupt.
             From there it was just chaos.
             Hotels dropping everywhere. Pew
             pew! We didn’t stand a chance.
                       (MORE)
                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                                78.


                       MAX (cont’d)
             Honestly, I was lucky to escape
             with my life. But do you want to
             know the freaky part?
                       ALLISON
             What?
                       MAX
             While I was playing   him I got the
             feeling like he was   inside my head
             and could hear what   I was thinking.
             Like he had ESPN or   something.
                       ALLISON
             Spooky. Back to you Chip.

INT - HALF TIME SHOW
                       CHIP
             Hello all and welcome to today’s
             halftime show brought to you by
             J-Mobile, Reach out and Touch
             Someone Today! As always, I’m here
             with my faithful sidekick Rex
             Cunningham.
                       REX
             Who you calling sidekick Fatman?
                       CHIP
             Also joining us is the most
             beautiful woman in Showbiz: Ms.
             Allison Chambers and the legendary
             Dale Burkowski.
                       CHIP
             Well Rex are you prepared to eat
             your crow about John Todd? I have
             it prepared just the way you like
             it.
                       REX
             Hey I’ll admit he played a good
             first round but so did David
             Darrow.
                       CHIP
             Fair enough. So Allison, how are
             you enjoying the tournament so far?



                                                     (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              79.


                       ALLISON
             Well, this is my first time here
             and it’s just so exciting to watch
             it’s just so cool to watch and all
             the colors I mean like whoa! I can
             hardly keep up!
                       REX
             Yeah we definitely appreciate your
             keen insight.
                       CHIP
             You have a new movie coming out My
             Boyfriend is a Crazy Axe Murderer.
                       ALLISON
             Yes thats right.
                       CHIP
             Did you do any research on serial
             killers for this role?
                        ALLISON
             Well I read a book about this one
             guy Josh Goth. He used to kill
             people and skin them alive and use
             their skin to make cups and lamps
             and stuff.
                       CHIP
             Oh my god. That sounds horrible.
                       ALLISON
             I know, right? Aside from that he
             seemed like a nice guy though.
                       CHIP
             What about you Dale? How does
             viewing it from the sidelines
             compare to being down in the
             battlefield?
                       DALE
             Well I mean, we’re up higher and
             you have a better view. Plus I am
             really enjoying this open bar we
             have backstage!
                       CHIP
             Alright. Heading into this second
             half do you have any advice for the
             new player?


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              80.

                       REX
             Pray.
                       CHIP
             What about you, Dale do you have
             any advice for this new player?
                       DALE
             Huh?
Dale holds his hand to his ear struggling to hear.
                       CHIP
                  (shouting)
             I said do you have any advice for
             the new player heading into this
             second half?
                        DALE
             My main advice to them is don’t
             hold back!
                       CHIP
             Good advice from a true legend.
             Now, let’s turn our attention...
                       DALE
             DON’T HOLD BACK!
Then quieter, almost mumbling it
                       DALE
             Don’t hold back...
A PAUSE as Chip waits a second to see if he is going to do
it again.
                       CHIP
             Well that’s about all the time we
             have. Stay tuned for the conclusion
             to this exciting tournament as well
             as our post-game show.

INT - MONOPOLY STADIUM - DAY
                       CHIP
             10 incredibly fast minutes in and
             the match has already become one
             sided. After an explosive first
             turn Frank Jupiter has gotten one
             Monopoly, almost has a second and
             has plenty of money to upgrade
             both.

                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              81.


Close on FRANK JUPITER, a slick back black hair man who is
electrified by the crowd, rolling doubles and getting 3
properties in a turn.
                       CHIP
             Meanwhile, Rusty the Shoe seems
             more concerned with stealing the
             money for some reason. Not to cheat
             but because he seems convinced it’s
             worth something outside this game.
RUSTY is the homeless guy and his fans wave cardboard signs.
                       CHIP
             Barbara Evangoria, known to her
             fans as Barbie, on the other hand
             seems to be spending most of her
             time dropping dice down her shirt
             and fishing them out. This has made
             for quite a show but is not helping
             her win.
The audience whistles and cat calls for her.
                       CHIP
             The only hope is John Todd who
             while struggling, still has a shot.
                       REX
             Particularly if he rolls a 7 here.
CLOSE on JOHN standing their dice in hand shaking them ready
to roll. Suddenly though something catches his eye.
Across the table, BARBIE is leaning forward hands on her
chest, giving JOHN a great eyeful down her cleavage to her
bountiful breasts.
This distraction comes at exactly the wrong time and causes
the dice to go flying out of John’s hand.
                       CHIP
             Ooh a 10. That mistake is going to
             cost him.
JOHN stands there still in shock but BARBIE just composes
herself and giggles.
                       BARBARA
             Ooh you naughty boy. Looking down
             my shirt...



                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               82.


                       JOHN
             Hey you wear shirts like that and
             lean over and that becomes the
             Community Chest
She laughs.
TIME ON SCREEN: 50 minutes
Frank lands on Baltic Ave. He buys it and then hands the
banker $500.
                       FRANK
             Fill em up!
The banker is about to put hotels but Frank stops him.
                       FRANK
             No hotels. Just houses and change.
The banker looks at him oddly but counts out the 4 houses
for each property.

INT. TV BOOTH - DAY
                       CHIP
             That doesn’t make sense. He has the
             money. Why isn’t he pushing to
             hotels?
                       REX
             It is a very strange move. But
             Frank Jupiter is known for these
             sort of strange moves.

INT. MONOPOLY STADIUM - DAY
TIME ON SCREEN: 40 Minutes
                       CHIP (V.O.)
             John needs to get a Monopoly soon
             if he is going to have a chance of
             staying in this game.
CLOSE ON JOHN haggling with Rusty over properties
                       JOHN
             Fine. I’ll trade you Pacific for
             the two utilities and Kentucky.



                                                    (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               83.


                       RUSTY
             The Oranges have a much ROI
             compared to the lower ROI yet
             higher landing percentage of the
             Reds so I’m not really interested.
                       JOHN
             Listen, it’s all I have. Plus, if
             we don’t group together and try to
             beat this guy then we are both
             going to be bankrupt in a few
             turns.
                       RUSTY
             Hmm... Throw in a ham sandwich
             after the tournament and you got
             yourself a deal.
                       JOHN
             Fine.
They exchange properties.
JOHn turns to the banker and counts out his cash.
                       JOHN
             I’ll take three houses on each.
                       BANKER
             I’m sorry sir, but there are no
             remaining houses.
JOHN looks over and the banker is right. All 32 houses are
on the board.
Most of them owned by Frank and his recently purchased
properties.
                       JOHN
                  (to Frank)
             I see. Very clever. You buy the
             cheaper properties and fill them up
             with houses so no one else can buy
             any.
                       FRANK
             Bingo.
                       JOHN
             That’s a risky strategy. Lots can
             go wrong.



                                                    (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               84.


                       FRANK
             Sometimes you just gotta take a
             chance.
                       CHIP (V.O.)
             Ooh things are not looking good for
             John. With all 32 houses on the
             board, it looks like both John and
             Rusty are going to be homeless for
             the time being.
                       REX (V.O.)
             Though for John this is more of a
             temporary position than it is for
             Rusty...
TIME ON SCREEN: 30 Minutes
JOHN starts counting his money and mortgaging properties.
                       CHIP (V.O.)
             John has finally saved up enough
             money for hotels. He’s going to
             have to mortgage a lot of property
             though to get them.
                       JOHN
                  (to the Banker)
             Three hotels please.
The Banker places a hotel on each of his red properties.
It’s RUSTY’s turn next and he rolls an 8 landing him on New
York Ave with 2 houses.
                       BARBIE
             $400 please.
He mortgages a few properties but he’s still in the game.
Next it’s Johns turn. He rolls a 6 and lands on Marvin
Gardens with a 4 houses.
                       JOHN
             What’s the damage?
                       FRANK JUPITER
             $500.
JOHN mortgages his remaining solo properties.




                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              85.


                       JOHN
             Well I’ll mortgage these two
             properties plus two houses, one
             from Kentucky, one from Illinois.
                       BANKER
             I’m sorry sir. That is not
             possible.
                       JOHN
             And why the hell not?
                       BANKER
             There are still no remaining
             houses.
                       CHIP (V.O.)
             Ouch. With no remaining houses
             available John Todd has to sell his
             hotels to pay the fee.
                       REX (V.O.)
             And at half price. That is really
             going to hurt him.
JOHN looks at his small stack of money.
                       JOHN
             How about instead, I give you $150
             plus Park Place. How does that
             sound?
                       FRANK
             Alright. I can always use more
             property to develop.
The two of them complete the transaction and Frank
unmortgages Park Place.
                       FRANK
             Alright, let me unmortgage
             Boardwalk and then move these
             houses from Pennsylvania and North
             Carolina to Park Place and
             Boardwalk...
                       JOHN
             I bid $220 for each.
                       FRANK
             What? They are my houses.



                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                             86.

                       JOHN
             Check the rules. You may transfer
             properties from one color group to
             another but the other player gets
             to bid on them in the process. I’m
             bidding on them.
Frank turns to the judges stunned.
                       FRANK
             Is that correct?
                       BANKER
             Yes it is. Bidding starts at $200,
             he bids $220
                       FRANK
             $250.
                       JOHN
             $350!
                       FRANK
             $400!
                       JOHN
             Alright. Take it.
FRANK stares in shock as he is forced to pay $400 for a
house he already owned.
                       BANKER
             Now for the next house...
TIME ON CLOCK: 3 Minutes
The game has changed. JOHN now has several houses in
addition to his hotels on the REDS.
Frank has also lost a few himself and he picks up the dice
and rolls a 7. This sends him to Illinois Ave which is
another one of John’s properties.
                       JOHN
             Yes! $900 please!
Frank is forced to sell even more houses.
                       REX (V.O.)
             And with that John has shortened
             the once tremendous lead Frank
             Jupiter had.
TIME ON CLOCK: 1 minute.

                                                  (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               87.


                       CHIP (V.O.)
             Ooh and it looks like it’s going to
             be a close one as the clock is
             almost over!
It is John’s turn and his piece is sitting in front of two
Monopolies owned by Frank in a close game.
He shakes the dice in his hand as he watches as the clock
ticks down it’s final seconds.
Finally, he rolls just as the BELL RINGS!
CLOSE ON DICE in SLOW MOTION.
The first one stops at a 3 but the second keeps going,
finally teetering over into a 6.
JOHN counts six spaces ahead until he realizes it is...NEW
YORK AVE with a hotel on it!
CLOSE on John eagerly waving his arms in panic, a horrified
look on his face.
The dice though, hearing his cries or simply because it felt
like it rolls over into a 5. JOHN breathes a sigh of relief
and moves his piece the five spaces to Free Parking,
narrowly missing the hotel
                       ANNOUNCER
             That is it! Game is over!
The crowd cheers loudly

INT. TV BOOTH - DAY
                       CHIP
             Wow! What a close game! With no
             clear winner we are going to have
             to wait for the professionals to do
             all the fancy math to get the
             official ruling. In the meantime
             Allison is on the floor with the
             competitors.

INT. MONOPOLY STADIUM - TOURNAMENT FLOOR - DAY
                       ALLISON
             I’m standing here with the amazing
             Frank Jupiter


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                            88.


                       FRANK
             And I’m standing here with the
             gorgeous Allison Cunningham.
                       ALLISON
             Oh you... So Frank tell me what was
             going through your head during this
             match?
                       FRANK
             Well I try to keep my head out of
             the clouds and in the gutter. Down
             to earth. You know what I’m saying?
             I focus on being in the moment so
             that I can really focus on what I’m
             doing and bring the most pleasure
             and excitement to the audience.
                       ALLISON
             But surely you must have been
             worried once John started gaining
             momentum.
                       FRANK
             Worried? Never mon cherie!
He strokes her chin and gets closer.
                       FRANK
             The goal is to just keep up that
             drive and intensity and the fire
             and keep pounding away over and
             over until I reach that exciting
             and explosive conclusion that I’m
             striving for.
By the end of this he is grinding into her and accentuates
each of his words with a hip thrust
Allison becomes very flustered and begins fanning herself.
                       ALLISON
             Truly an exciting game.
                       FRANK
             What you say I give you a more
             private interview?
                       ALLISON
             Sounds good
The two of them walk off arm in arm.
                                                      89.

INT. TV BOOTH - DAY
                    CHIP
          Allison? Allison?
He puts his hand to his earpiece.
                    CHIP
          We appear to be having some
          technical difficulties. We’ll check
          back with them later. For now,
          let’s go to the floor where Rex is
          with John. Rex?

INT. MONOPOLY STADIUM - TOURNAMENT FLOOR - DAY
                    REX
          Hey Chip! I’m standing here with
          the loser John Todd. John, how does
          it feel to lose after such a long
          journey to get here?
                    JOHN
          Well I haven’t lost yet. We are
          still waiting for the results.
                    REX
          Well yeah I know the final count
          isn’t in and they are still waiting
          to dot the T’s and cross the I’s
          and all that. But I mean honestly
          what do you think your chances of
          winning are at this point? A
          million to one? A billion to one?
                    JOHN
          No, I think it was a pretty close
          game and I have a pretty good
          chance.
                    REX
          So like a thousand to one?
                    JOHN
          More like 2 to 1.
                    REX
          Hah, yeah right. Keep dreaming
          buddy. Seriously though, good luck
          to you. I’m rooting for you. Not
          really but I’m sure some poor
          deluded soul out there is. Back to
          you Chip!

                                                 (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              90.


CUT TO TV STUDIO with CHIP and DALE
                       CHIP
             Wow! Truly an exciting game! Last
             game before the finals. Loser goes
             winner stays. Money amounts so
             close we are going to need to get
             an official count later! The
             results, right here after a quick
             word from our sponsors.
CUT to BLACK
Stock footage of a aerial view of the Atlantic City
Convention Center
                       ANNOUNCER
             This presentation of the 2009
             Monopoly National Tournament is
             brought to by new Shellogs
             Sugar-O’s! Does your child get
             enough sugar in his diet?
                       ANNOUNCER
             And the new Levy Gasguzzler! Built
             to climb mountains and scale clifs
             even if all you’ll use it for is to
             go to the grocery store!
                       ANNOUNCER
             And the new movie: My Boyfriend is
             a Crazy Axe Murderer! Opening this
             Summer only in Theaters and online!
                                                      FADE OUT
CUT to BLACK
Suddenly, text appears on screen as an announcer reads the
words aloud
                        ANNOUNCER (O.S.)
             Trivia Time: Monopoly Champ David
             Darrow is the son of which huge
             successful real estate and reality
             TV show mogul? A) Paul
             Mc.Cartney    B) Richard Darrow C)
             Oprah Winfrey    D) Montel Williams
                                                      FADE OUT
The Green Coming Attractions Screen Pops Up


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               91.


FADE IN an establishing shot of a perfect house. White
picket fence and a green grassy yard.
CUT to INSIDE where ALLISON is introducing a large muscular
GUY to her 3 GIRL friends.
                       ALLISON
             Hey everyone! This is my new
             boyfriend Brett.
                          GIRLS
             Hey Brett!
He gives an awkward wave and a creepy stare.
                       GIRL 2
                  (whispering to the others)
             I don’t know what, but something’s
             not right about this guy....

INT. DINING ROOM. THANKSGIVING DINNER - NIGHT
Brett and Allison are eating dinner with Allison’s family.
Her and her mom talk excitedly.
                       ALLISON
             Oh my god, Brett would look so
             great in a turtleneck. Wouldn’t you
             Brett?
Brett stares straight ahead almost shaking in rage.
                       MOM
             Oh Brett would you be a dear and
             cut me a slice of turkey?
BRETT stares at the sharp butcher knife on the plate next to
him.
SLASH EFFECT cuts to black as blood drips down.
                       ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
             From Legendary Horror Director Mike
             Meyers
                        ANNOUNCER (V.O.)
             And the Studio that brought you
             Scream, 10 Things I Hate about You
             and the Goonies comes a new vision
             of terror!
                                                         92.

INT. ALLISON’S ROOM - NIGHT
                    ALLISON
          Come on guys! Give him a chance!
          He’s a really nice guy!
                    GIRL3
          Allison, he skinned my dog alive
                    GIRL4
          And he raped me! Twice!
                    ALLISON
          Oh I’m sure it was just an
          accident. Trust me, I’ll go talk to
          him and have him apologize.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT
A darkened living room. The lights flicker on and off.
ALLISON wanders the room looking around.
                    ALLISON (CONT’D)
          Guys?
The lights flash on the living room covered in blood and the
dead bodies of her friends.
                    ALLISON
               (screaming)
          Oh no! Oh no!
Suddenly, the lights flick on. In the doorway stands Brett,
knife in hand, blood covering his shirt and face.
                    ALLISON
          Oh Brett honey! I was so scared!
She runs over to him and hugs him, burying her face in his
chest and crying. After a moment she realizes his bloody
shirt.
                    ALLISON
          Oh honey! You got ketchup all over
          your shirt! You have to be more
          careful with this shirt! It’s dry
          clean only!
She wipes her shirt and starts scrubbing it as Brett lifts
his bloody knife over her.
A SLASH EFFECT fills the screen leaving the TEXT

                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               93.

TEXT ON SCREEN: "My Boyfriend is a Crazy Axe Murderer"
TEXT ON SCREEN: COMING THIS SUMMER

INT. TV STUDIO - LATER THAT DAY
                       REX:
             Welcome back! It looks like the
             judges have finished counting.
             Let’s listen in.

INT. TOURNAMENT FLOOR - DAY
CUT to an ANNOUNCER standing with a microphone with a slip
of paper in his hand.
                       ANNOUNCER
             The judges have finished the tally
                  (dramatic pause)
             Frank Jupiter has finished the game
             with a grand total of $10,781
Huge cheers!
                       CHIP
             It was a close game and John Todd
             could have had more than that. Does
             he have more than $10,781? Will he
             stay or will he go?
CUT to
                       ANNOUNCER
             And John Todd has finished the game
             with a grand total of $10,981!
The CROWD erupts into applause.
                       REX
             Oh wow! John Todd has made it to
             the finals!

INT. HOTEL LOBBY - DAY
JOHN exhausted from a long day enters the hotel lobby and
finds Barbie standing there.
                       BARBIE
             Hey cutie, where are you off to in
             a hurry?


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              94.


                       JOHN
             Sleep, I’m exhausted.
                       BARBIE
             Ooh well you get your beauty rest
             and if if you want to have a little
             fun come stop by my room tonight.
She hands him a SLIP of PAPER which she folds over and puts
in his pocket and then walks off.
JOHN walks through the hotel lobby to the elevators and
presses the UP button.
                       HANK (O.S.)
             Johnny T! Yo, come take a ride with
             me.
He turns to see HANK FRASIER standing in the GOLDEN ELEVATOR
beckoning John to follow him and he does.

INT - DARROW SUITE
HANK opens the giant double doors with a swipe of a keycard
revealing a luxurious suite with a leather couches, a plasma
TV that covers a wall and a view of Atlantic City that is
just breathtaking.
                       HANK
             Come on in. Have a seat. Make
             yourself comfortable
John sits down.
                       HANK
             Cigar?
                       JOHN
             Sure.
HANK hands him a cigar and lights it.
JOHN takes a big hit and then almost immediately, his face
turns green and he looks like he is about to puke
                       HANK
             I’ve been watching you out there.
             And I don’t really know how to play
             this game but the fans like you,
             and the other players like you and
             the press is really starting to get
             a hard on for you.

                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              95.


                  (pause)
             Now, that $50,000 prize money you
             get for winning this thing. That’s
             chump change. Being the Monopoly
             National Champion where you qualify
             for Ad Circuits, endorsements, book
             signings, TV shows. That’s where
             the real money is. Problem is the
             people who give you that money
             don’t endorse losers. And after the
             last tournament where David showed
             up for the last tournament so
             zonked on shrooms that he spent an
             hour convincing a lamp to trade
             with him, they are starting to get
             antsy.
                  (pause)
             Once I can explain as a fluke.
             Twice I have a big problem. And I
             don’t want a problem. So I’m here
             to smooth the transition in case
             something happens.
                       JOHN
             You want to represent me?
                       HANK
             Hell yeah man! I’ll tell you
             straight up. I have no loyalty. I’m
             just a moth drawn to the light. And
             I look around and David’s down to
             his last piece of firewood. But
             you, you’re a raging inferno of
             love baby! Ready to explode and
             really take this game to the next
             level! Movies, restaurants, quiz
             shows. The skies the limit if you
             team with me baby!
                       JOHN
             Don’t you have an agreement with
             David?
                       HANK
             Hey, contracts were made to be
             broken kid.
                       JOHN
             Give me some time to think about
             it.




                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               96.


                       HANK
             Alright. Just remember, time is
             ticking. Tick tock! Tick tock!

INT. JOHN’S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT
JOHN is getting fitted for a tuxedo by a TAILOR.
                       JOSIE (O.S.)
             Knock knock!
                       JOHN
             Come in it’s open.
                       JOSIE
             Ooh fancy... What’s the occasion?
                       JOHN
             The finals tomorrow. We have to
             wear one for the final ceremony.
                       TAILOR
             Arms out please
JOHN obeys as the TAILOR measures the arm length.
                        JOHN
             Man, I haven’t wore one of these
             since prom
                       JOSIE
             You should wear one more often. A
             lot of girls thought you looked
             pretty good that night.
                       JOHN
             Rachel Davenport didn’t.
                       JOSIE
             Well she was a fool. And you were a
             fool for chasing after her for as
             long as you did.
                       JOHN
             True. Who else?
                       JOSIE
             Lindsay Spitzer for one.
                       JOHN
             Really?


                                                    (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               97.

                       JOSIE
             Yeah, she kept hoping you would ask
             her to dance.
                       JOHN
             I wish you had told me that
             earlier! She was really cute. Who
             else?
                       JOSIE
             Oh I dunno. Me.
                        JOHNS
             Josie...
                       JOSIE
             Why didn’t you ever make a move?
                       JOHN
             Well you were with Frank and he was
             on the football team and I didn’t
             want to mess with that.
                       JOSIE
             Frank isn’t here now is he...
JOSIE takes a step closer to JOHN
The two of them are now standing mere inches from each
other.
Josie puckers her lips like a fish and closes her eyes.
Yet John still hesitates.
                       TAILOR
             What are you waiting for doofus?
             Kiss her!
                       JOSIE
             Fine if you’re still too scared...
JOSIE leans forward to kiss him but before their lips touch
JOHN pulls back
                       JOHN
             I’m sorry Josie I can’t...
JOSIE stands there stunned before turning around
                       JOSIE
             I guess I should have figured by
             now...


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              98.


                          JOHN
             Josie I...
                       JOSIE
             I should go... I have. stuff to
             do... you know...
JOSIE picks up her stuff and heads toward the door.
                       JOHN
             Josie wait! Let me explain!
He chases after her, reaching for her arm to stop her but
she closes the door in his face and he is left staring at
the wood.
                       TAILOR
                  (shaking his head)
             You very stupid man.
                       JOHN
             Hey it’s complicated....
                       TAILOR
             No it’s simple.
                  (pause)
             Are you a fag?
                          JOHN
             No...
                       TAILOR
             Then get the hell out of here and
             chase her down!
JOHN opens the door and goes chasing after her.

INT. HOTEL HALLWAY
JOHN runs down the HOTEL HALLWAY his eyes glancing left and
right searching for Josie.
Suddenly a door at the end of the hallway opens and BARBIE
is standing there.
She notices him and a devilish grin spreads across her face.
                       BARBIE
             There you are! I was starting to
             think you weren’t going to show up!



                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                               99.


                       JOHN
                  (stuttering)
             I wasn’t! I mean.. I’m just looking
             for someone and...
                       BARBIE
             Oh don’t play coy with me. Come in
             here and I’ll show you what you’ve
             been missing.
JOHN tries to protest but BARBIE ignores him, grabs him by
the tie and pulls him in to her hotel room.

INT. BARBIE’S HOTEL ROOM
JOHN is thrown to the bed where he lands with a thump.
                       JOHN
                  (starting to get up)
             I really have to get going
BARBIE tears open her shirt revealing a lacy bra and her
beautiful bosom.
                        JOHN
             Or I guess I could stay for a
             little bit
                       BARBIE
             You’ve been a very naughty boy
             flirting with David Darrow’s
             girlfriend.
                       JOHN
             Yeah. Totally naughty.
                  (nervously)
             Wait, he doesn’t know I’m here does
             he?
                       BARBIE
                  (chuckling)
             No, so just relax and let me take
             care of you.
BARBIE smiles and lunges forward toward JOHN knocking him
onto his back.
She climbs on top of him and begins aggressively making out
with him her hips grinding into him.
CLINK!


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              100.


JOHN looks and his right arm has been HANDCUFFED to the
frame of the bed.
He looks up at Barbie a puzzled look on his face.
                       BARBIE
                  (shaking the keys)
             Relax Babe. I got the keys. For now
             though, just relax and let me take
             care of you.
JOHN is about to complain but as Barbie continues to grind
herself on him and continue making out with him his concerns
seem to melt away.
CLINK!
John looks and she has handcuffed the other hand.
                       JOHN
             Hey wait a minute...
He is silenced as Barbie shoves a BALL GAG into his mouth.
JOHN mumbles a bit. However, it is no use.
BARBIE meanwhile throws the KEYS in the TRASHCAN. She then
gets up off of him and begins searching through his stuff
for something.
                       BARBIE
             Ugh. Little advice for next time
             Junior: Less tongue. You stuck your
             tongue so far down my throat one
             time I thought it was going to
             puke. Still though compared to most
             of the guys that I have to do this
             too, not too bad.
JOHN stares at her a mix of confusion and disgust on his
face.
                       BARBIE
             Oh don’t look at me like that! I’m
             not a hooker or anything. Though
             I’m not the lonely bimbo I
             pretended to be either. I’m
             something in between I guess. A
             black widow hired by Mr. Darrow to
             make you don’t make it to the
             finals. And you Mr. Fly have fallen
             into my trap.



                                                    (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                             101.

Finally, she finds what she is looking for: his Monopoly
piece. She sets it on the counter and then goes fumbling
through her purse.
                       BARBIE
             And so now you have to watch
             powerless to stop me as I destroy
             your piece and your chances of
             winning this tournament.
Out of it she pulls a small HAMMER which she raises above
her head.
                       BARBIE
             How does that sound?
                       JOHN
                  (mumbling through the gag)
             Mhmmh!
He can do nothing but watch in horror as the hammer comes
crashing down and his little race car piece breaks into a
thousand little shards of plastic.
Barbie looks at the pieces and puts her hand over her mouth
                       BARBIE
                  (in a mock childish voice)
             Oops I broked it
She sets down the HAMMER and goes to her purse again where
she pulls out a NEEDLE and a VIAL which she proceeds to
fill.
JOHN glares at her anger in his eyes.
                       BARBIE
             Oh don’t feel bad. It’s just a game
             after all. I mean what’s the big
             deal?
She taps the end of the needle a few drops spilling out.
                       BARBIE
             I tell you what I’ll do for you.
             I’ll give you this, and when you
             wake up it will be too late for you
             to do anything. How does that
             sound?
JOHN tries to get away but she quickly injects it into his
arm and pushes the plunger all of the way in. He groans in
agony as the liquid pumps up his veins.


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                           102.


                       BARBIE
             Good night sweat heart. And bad
             luck in the tournament tomorrow.
Her dirty deed finally done, Barbie gathers her things and
walks out of the door slamming it behind her.
As soon as she is gone, JOHN begins struggling, pulling
desperately on his chains trying to free himself.
However, it is a losing battle and he soon drifts off to
sleep.

INT. MONOPOLY STADIUM - DAY
The crowd has begun to fill the giant stadium
                       CHIP
             Well it looks like another
             beautiful day for Monopoly.
             However, I am getting reports that
             John Todd has not signed in to the
             tournament.
                       REX
             Not showing up is going to put him
             at a severe disadvantage in this
             final round.
CUT to TOURNAMENT FLOOR where DAVID and BARBIE are both
standing with smug looks on their faces.

INT. TOURNAMENT - LOCKER ROOM
MILES and JOSIE are pacing back and forth
                       JOSIE
             Where is he?
                       MILES
             I don’t know. Try calling him
             again.
JOSIE pulls out her phone and dials.
                                                     103.

INT. BARBIE’S HOTEL ROOM - THE NEXT MORNING
A cell phone is ringing but John is too tired to hear it.

INT. TOURNAMENT - LOCKER ROOM - MINUTES LATER
                    JOSIE
          No answer. Alright. Let’s split up
          and look for him. I’ll check his
          room. You see if you can get to the
          hotel security footage and find him
          that way.
They both run off.

INT. JOHN’S HOTEL ROOM
JOSIE bursts open the door to John’s empty hotel room.
She begins searching around piles of clothes and looking all
over trying to find some clue as to where he is.
Suddenly, out of one of the pockets the SLIP of PAPER falls
that Barbie gave him. She opens it up and reads it.
                    JOSIE
          He wouldn’t....

INT. BARBIE’S HOTEL ROOM
Josie walks in to see JOHN handcuffed to a bed, ball gag in
his mouth asleep
                    JOSIE
          John! Wake up!
She shakes him
                    JOSIE
          Jeez. What happened to you? Did she
          fuck you to death or something?
                    JOHN
               (groggily)
          Mhmhm hmhmhm!
                    JOSIE
          Let me get this off of you.
Josie removes the ball gag.


                                                 (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                             104.


                       JOHN
             Josie I’m sorry. I never meant for
             this to happen...
                       JOSIE
             Can it or the gag goes back in!
             We’ll deal with that later. Right
             now, we just need to focus on
             winning that tournament. Now, where
             is the key?
                       JOHN
             Over there. She threw it next to
             the trashcan.
JOSIE runs over, grabs the key and unlocks his handcuffs.
                       JOSIE
             Alright, now grab your jacket and
             let’s get going. The tournament is
             starting soon.
                       JOHN
             No, it’s too late.
                       JOSIE
             What are you talking about? You
             have plenty of time
                       JOHN
             My piece is broken.
                       JOSIE
             Your penis is broken? I mean that
             sounds rather painful but I don’t
             see how that has to do with you
             entering the tournament...
                       JOHN
             No, not my penis! My piece! The
             little race car that I need to
             enter the tournament. It’s broken
             and there is nothing I can do to
             fix it.
                       MILES (O.S.)
             That’s not exactly true.
Miles who has been listening this whole time comes up from
behind.




                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                           105.


                       JOHN
             Not it really is broken. Into a lot
             of very small pieces.
                       MILES
             Yes, but I know a guy that can fix
             it. He lives a bit across town
             though so it will take a little bit
             to get there.
                       JOHN
             Alright. Me and Miles will go track
             down this guy. Josie, you do
             whatever you can to stall till we
             get back.
The two of them leave.
                       JOSIE
             Wait, how am I supposed to stall a
             crowd of 60,000 people?
She scans the room until her eyes fall on JOHN’S TEACHER
BAG. She suddenly gets an idea and grabs the BAG and leaves.

INT. TOURNAMENT HALL - DAY
The area is now bustling with people beginning to fill the
stands.
JOSIE works her way through the crowd to an unmarked DOOR in
the back of the room.

INT. MONOPOLY STADIUM - AV BOOTH - DAY
JOSIE quietly opens the door and begins looking over the
countless projectors and tape decks in the AV BOOTH.
Finally, finding the one she wants she walks over to it, and
sets down the TEACHERS BAG from her shoulder.
                       JOSIE
             Let’s hope this works.
She presses a few buttons on the console and then sneaks out
the door.
                                                     106.


INT. MONOPOLY STADIUM - DAY
                    CHIP
          Oh the opening ceremonies are about
          to start.
Just like before, the lights dim and the room is filled with
the flashes of cameras.
ON JOSIE staring at the screen fingers crossed hoping her
plan worked.
The JUMBOTRON suddenly lights up illuminating the arena just
as before. However, this time it is not the highlight reel
that is playing.
Instead, projected on the massive screen in front of
thousands of fans is the opening scene of "Risky Business"
the 1990’s teen classic that John brought in his bag to
entertain the students.

INT. TV BOOTH - DAY
CHIP and REX sit there with confused looks on both of their
faces.
                    CHIP
          Guess this is a special highlight
          reel for the finals...
                    REX
          Well nothing to do but sit back and
          watch the movie
They lean back in their seats and put their feet on the
desk.

INT. MONOPOLY STADIUM - DAY
JOSIE stands smiling a satisfied look on her face.
                    JOSIE
          It’s all up to you guys now.

EXT. PARKING LOT OF SPARKY’S SHOP - DAY
MILES and JOHN spill out of a cab.




                                                 (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                             107.


                       JOHN
             It’s pretty convenient that you
             know a guy within driving distance
             that can refabricate a piece on a
             moment’s notice.
                       MILES
             Hey just count your blessings.
                       JOHN
             So who is this guy?
                       MILES
             His name is Sparky. He used to run
             the tournament scene a few years
             back. Won all kinds of tournaments.
             He was a legend until he was caught
             stealing from the bank.
The two walk inside the store.

INT. SPARKY’S KEY SHOP - DAY
It is a key shop. At the front, with welding goggles over
his face sits SPARKY, 25, a tall squirrelly guy, shaping a
key in a grinder, and talking to a CUSTOMER.
As they enter the store, a bell on the door rings and Sparky
turns to them.
                       SPARKY
             Hello there can I help you?
                       MILES
             Yeah I’m looking for a guy named
             Sparky Rodriguez. We need some
             custom work done on a piece and
             you’re the only one that can help.
                       CUSTOMER
             Sparky Rodriguez... wasn’t that
             that cheating scoundrel who got
             busted playing Monopoly?
                        SPARKY
                   (sweating under the collar)
             Uh.. I don’t know anyone by that
             name.
                       MILES
             Sparky, you are wearing a nametag!


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              108.


CLOSE on NAMETAG "Hi My name is Sparky Rodriguez. Can I help
you?"
                       CUSTOMER
             Hey it is you! I lost a lot of
             money on that match! Plus, I don’t
             give my money to cheaters!
The customer takes his things and starts to leave.
                       SPARKY
             Wait! Come back!
The customer leaves in a huff and slams the door.
                       JOHN
             Wow people really take Monopoly
             seriously around here...
                       SPARKY
             Great, now I’m really not going to
             help you.
                       JOHN
             Oh come on. It’s to save this
             schoolhouse and if it closes the
             kids will lose all their friends...
                       SPARKY
             Hey I don’t even like kids and
             after what you just did to me they
             can all just die in a fire for all
             I care. So go take your sob story
             somewhere else.
                       MILES
             Well if emotions can’t persuade you
             perhaps this can.
MILES pulls out a NECKLACE from around his neck which has an
Antique Monopoly Hat on it
                       JOHN
             Have you really been wearing that
             this whole time?
Sparky however is very impressed. His eyes are glowing and
he can’t take them off of the piece.
                       SPARKY
             Now we’re talking. Is that real?



                                                    (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                             109.


                       MILES
             Vintage 1957 Monopoly piece. Taken
             from an original set made by
             Richard Darrow himself. From my
             personal collection.
                       SPARKY
             What kind of favor did you say you
             needed?

INT. SPARKY’S KEY SHOP - BACK ROOM - DAY
The group follows Sparky down a hallway to a BACK ROOM with
a LAPTOP connected to a LARGE MACHINE and various shop
equipment strewn about.
                       SPARKY
             Now, please tell me you have a
             valid piece or this is going to be
             one short trip.
Miles pulls out his piece which he hands to Sparky.
                       SPARKY
             Man I can’t believe they haven’t
             changed a damn thing! Still the
             same as last time.
SPARKY sticks the piece in a vice and cuts it. The horse and
rider part falls to the floor. He picks up the BASE and
soulders a piece onto it which he then connects to a laptop.
ON LAPTOP SCREEN there is a form on screen with Miles’ name
and record that Sparky begins editing to match John’s
information.
                       SPARKY
             So do you want any bonuses?
                       JOHN
             What do you mean?
                       SPARKY
             I mean like extra starting cash. A
             dollar from each transaction that
             takes place Superman 2 style, the
             Happy Days theme song to play every
             time you pass go. Whatever you want
             man.




                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                             110.

                       JOHN
             You can do all that?
                       SPARKY
             All that and more my friend.
                       JOHN
             Is that why you got banned? For
             doing something like that?
                       SPARKY
             Yeah for doing a lot of things like
             that.
                       JOHN
             But that’s cheating.
                       SPARKY
             Hey man I’m a darwinist. Survival
             of the fittest and all that.
             Besides, once I figured out what
             you could do I sent Parker Bros
             letters telling them about how any
             kid with a soldering iron and a
             laptop could do just about anything
             they wanted. I even drew them a
             diagram showing how to fix it. But
             did they do anything about it? No.
             So I showed them the damage that
             could be done and they banned me
             for life. And they still didn’t
             change it! But now that very same
             exploit is going to save your day.
             But hey man, that’s just how the
             cookie crumbles in this crazy world
             we live in.
                       SPARKY
             Alright we’re all set. Now we just
             need to print and paint.
He turns to the computer and clicks around until a listing
of the various pieces appear.
                       SPARKY
             What was your piece again?
                        JOHN
             Racecar.
He clicks it and a 3d wireframe of the RACECAR appears on
the computer. He then clicks the PRINT button at the top and
the LARGE MACHINE, a 3d printer, whirs to life and builds
the piece in plaster layer by layer.

                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                           111.


When it is done, SPARKY picks up the piece using rubber
gloves, dips it in a CLEAR LIQUID which removes the excess
plaster, and then places it into another MACHINE which
paints it. The process done, he takes the piece, and
attaches it to the MODIFIED BASE and then hands JOHN the
FINISHED PIECE
                       SPARKY
             We don’t have time to do the
             engraving, but so long as nobody
             looks too close you should be fine.
                       JOHN
             And if they do?
                       SPARKY
             Run like hell. They don’t take too
             kindly to fraud.
                       JOHN
             Thanks Sparky.
                       SPARKY
             Hey and if anyone asks, I live in
             Guam and you’ve never heard of me.

INT. TV BOOTH
MR. DARROW barges in to the TV BOOTH where CHIP and REX are
sitting there watching the movie and eating popcorn
                       DAVID
             This is ridiculous!
                       CHIP
             No it’s not! The Monopoly Masters
             Commission clearly wanted us to
             watch this movie and we are
             enjoying watching it.
                       AUDIENCE
             Yeah!
DAVID storms out of the TV BOOTH
                       REX
                  (referring to audience)
             How did they hear that?
                                                     112.

INT. TOURNAMENT HALL - DAY
JOHN and MILES arrive at the TOURNAMENT HALL but the doors
are already closed. JOHN tries both but they are locked.
                    JOHN
          Shit we’re too late! The doors are
          locked. How are we going to get in?
Suddenly they hear a noise from the side. The two of them
look over to see a MAINTENANCE HATCH open and out come
stumbling MR MONOPOLY. He removes his head and takes a
generous swig of a BOTTLE and then seeing it’s empty throws
it aside.
JOHN and MILES turn to each other and look back at the guy
the same idea in both of their heads.
                    JOHN
          You thinking what I’m thinking?
                    MILES
          I’m right behind you.
JOHN sneaks up behind him, picks up the fallen BOTTLE and
WHACKS Mr. Monopoly upside the head with it.
The guy slumps to the floor unconscious and JOHN drags him
aside and begins putting on the costume.
He is struggling with putting the oversized head on, when
the MAINTENANCE HATCH suddenly opens again and out steps the
BOSS of the Mr. Monopoly guy.
                    BOSS
          Frank! There you are! How many
          times have I told you: keep the
          head on while you are on duty! Man,
          if a kid saw without that thing it
          would be the end of your mascot
          career that’s for sure!
               (pausing)
          Now get it on and hurry up! You’re
          supposed to be on stage in 5
          minutes!
The BOSS leaves back through the shaft, but leaves the door
open. As soon as he is gone MILES comes out from his hiding
space to help JOHN finish putting the head on.
                    MILES
          Alright, you follow him. I’m going
          to try and find another way in
          there. Good luck kid.
                                                      113.

Miles leaves and JOHN follows the BOSS down the MAINTENANCE
SHAFT.

INT. MAINTENANCE SHAFT
JOHN and the BOSS make their way down the MAINTENANCE SHAFT.
Its very utilitarian with pipes sticking out and yellow
lamps above flickering along.
As they walk they pass various staff members. Referees.
Umpires.
They finally come to the ELEVATOR room where the rest of the
dancers are already standing there. Two circular platforms
sit there with controls.
Rumbling through the metal above they can hear the highlight
reel playing and the announcers talking.
Finally it’s time and the elevator begins to rise.

INT MONOPOLY STADIUM - FINAL FIGHT
Again, there is an explosion and a poof of smoke and when it
clears JOHN is standing there coughing in the Monopoly suit.
All around him, the dancers start dancing as Pump it Up
plays again.
JOHN pulls off the head.
CUT to little girl in pigtails in the crowd crying.
                    REX (V.O.)
          Oh it looks like John Todd decided
          to show up after all.
                    CHIP (V.O.)
          And what an entrance he has made!
The crowd goes wild as JOHN walks up to the table.
                    BANKER
          Cutting it a little close aren’t
          we?
JOHN shrugs as he finishes taking off the Monopoly costume.
                    BANKER
          Do you have your piece?
JOHN pulls the REFABRICATED PIECE out of his pocket and
hands it to the Banker.

                                                 (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              114.


MILES, JOSIE and JOHN all breathe in anticipation as the
banker prepares to insert the piece.
ON PIECE as it is slowly inserted into the machine.
A long pause
Then BEEP as the little green light turns on indicating
everything is alright.
                       BANKER
             Alright. Let’s get this game
             started.
JOSIE, MILES and JOHN all breathe a sigh of relief.
DAVID outstretches his hand
                       CHIP (V.O.)
             Oh how nice. David is offering his
             hand of friendship.
JOHN smiles, surprised at this show of goodwill and sticks
his hand out as well.
                       JOHN
             May the best man win
They shake and a CRUNCH sound can be heard.
                       DAVID
             Oh don’t worry. I will.
They both pull back their hands and JOHN massages his hand.
He tries to move his fingers, but that dirty scoundrel has
clearly fractured if not broken his hand and it is
difficult.
He sits down still massaging it.
DAVID snaps his fingers. A BOY runs up with a small BOX and
kneels before David. DAVID opens it. Inside is a collection
of DICE.
He eyes each one carefully.
                       DAVID
             I think I’ll take the ’97 Chateau
             de Wolf this time.
The BOY hands him the chosen DICE, closes the BOX and
dissapears into the crowd.


                                                  (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              115.


                       CHIP
             Alright sports fans. Strap in your
             seatbelts and buckle up because
             this is it. The moment we’ve all
             bene waiting for. Black versus
             white. Money versus poverty. The
             ultimate battle between good and
             evil.
DAVID rolls first. His dice clatter to the ground as he
lands on chance.
                        DAVID
             Advance to Boardwalk. I’ll buy it
             of course.
He moves his piece across the board to Boardwalk.
                       CHIP (V.O.)
             On the positive side, the speed die
             will be in play next round. On the
             negative side, David just scored
             one of the best properties in the
             game.
JOHN rolls a 6 and gets a property
David rolls and lands on Chance. $200.
                        REX (V.O.)
             Luck is definitely on David’s side
             this game.
JOHN rolls and gets both oranges.
DAVID rolls and lands on Park Place
                       ALLISON
             Ooh that’s not good is it?
                       CHIP
             No it’s not. Within the first 10
             Minutes of the game David has
             scored himself a Natural Dark Blue
             Monopoly. This does not bode well
             for John Todd.
                       REX
             Just brutal Chip. I mean David is
             not holding back at all!
John lands on Park Place.


                                                    (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                             116.

                       BANKER
             $70
JOHN hands over the cash
                       CHIP (V.O.)
             I tell you that is the last time
             John is going to land on that
             property and get away that cheap.
DAVID mortgages a property and buys one house on Park Place.
David lands on the final orange
                       CHIP
             Oh and there goes John’s chance for
             an early monopoly
John lands on Baltic.
                       JOHN
             I’ll buy it.
David lands on Meditterranean.
                       BANKER
             $60
                       DAVID
             I wouldn’t let my dogs stay in
             Mediterranean Ave. It’s a dump. I
             don’t wnat it.
                       BANKER
             That means it goes up for auction.
The BANKER turns to David.
                       BANKER
             What is your starting bid sir?
                       DAVID
             $1.
                       BANKER
             Ahem!
The banker coughs and then begins talking very quickly like
an auctioneer.
                       BANKER
             Alright I got one dollar one
             dollar. Do I have two dollars? Two
             dollars two dollars?

                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                              117.


                       JOHN
             I’ll bid $5
                       BANKER
             Alright I got five dollars five
             dollars. Do I hear six dollars?
The BANKER looks over at David who sits there quietly
                       BANKER
             Six dollars six dollars. Do i hear
             six dollars six dollars? Six
             dollars to stop your opponent from
             getting a monopoly?
BANKER takes on last glance at David who says nothing.
                       BANKER
             Six dollars going once! Six Dollars
             going twice! SOLD to John Todd for
             six dollars!
He bangs his fists on the table like a gavel and the crowd
enjoys a hearty golf clap.
John pays the money to the banker.
                       CHIP (VO)
             Talk about the deal of the century
             for John Todd.
                       REX (V.O.)
             David Darrow better hope that
             doesn’t come to bite him on the ass
             later on down the road.
DAVID lands on Baltic with a hotel
                       CHIP
             Ooh $250. That means he has to
             mortgage a hotel!
                       REX
             Oh and the empire of David is
             starting to come crashing down!
             This could be a turning point!
JOHN rolls a 7 and lands on Pacific Avenue DAVID’s property
with a hotel on it.
                       ANNOUNCER
             And that is game!


                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                             118.


Streamers and Monopoly money fall down from above like rain
and while most the crowd sits stunned in silence
                       CHIP
             I can’t believe. I’m stunned in
             silence.
                       REX
             Then stop talking
                       CHIP
             Well if you don’t care Rex then
             what’s with the water works?
Cut to REX who is sniffling and has red eyes
                        REX
             No! I mean, yeah these are tears of
             joy that David won.... Oh fuck it.
             Even I was rooting for John and now
             he’s lost.
                       CHIP
             After all that work, all that
             sacrifice, this Cinderella story
             has come to a close!

INT. CLOSING CEREMONIES
David is walking around high fiving people and BARBIE comes
from the side and they kiss.
Spotlights point to the center of the arena where the
COMMISSIONER stands with a GIANT CHECK and a TROPHY next to
MR. MONOPOLY and a group of BURLESQUE GIRLS
                       COMMISSIONER
             On behalf of Parker Bros I would
             like to present this year’s winner
             David Darrow with this check for
             $50,683, the amount of money in a
             Monopoly game.
He hands him the CHECK and the TROPHY and the BURLESQUE
GIRLS drape a pageant ribbon around his neck.
The crowds silence has now turned into anger and they begin
pelting David with anything they have on hand. Even CHIP and
REX join in on it and start throwing things at him.




                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                             119.


                       JOHN
             Hey David, good game man.
                       DAVID
             Yeah it was because I won.
                       JOHN
             Alright man. I’ll see you around.
Suddenly, two COPS bust in along with a MAN IN A SUIT. JOHN
(and hopefully the AUDIENCE) recognizes the MAN as the same
guy that was at the school talking to the principal. Not the
crazy one but the one that talked second and kind of made
sense.
                       SUIT MAN
             David Darrow you are under arrest!
                       DAVID
             Wait what? On what charges?
                       SUIT MAN
             Tax evasion.
                       DAVID
             What are you talking about?
                       SUIT MAN
             This past week as a standard
             procedure of getting ready to sell
             the school’s land to your dad, we
             hired an Assesor. It’s kind of like
             a real estate apparaiser but they
             work for the government. His job is
             to calculate the value of property
             for tax purposes. Well he did and
             figured out the amount the school
             property is worth. The weird thing
             is that the amount turned out to be
             a lot higher than the surrounding
             property. More specifically a lot
             higher than the value listed for
             the property your dad is planning
             to build those hotels for really no
             good reason. The assessor did a
             little digging and apparently your
             dad has an inside man that was
             cooking for books for him and
             listing property as far below what
             it’s worth for years.




                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                             120.

                       SUIT MAN (CONT’D)
             Twenty-seven large estates, some
             oceanside, with some over 10 years
             of backlog unpaid taxes... I’m not
             a math major or anything but
             needless to say your dads in a bit
             of financial difficulty.
                       DAVID
             Well I don’t get it. What does all
             this have to do with me?
                       SUIT MAN
             Oh please you can drop the act. He
             was your tax man too and your
             fingerprints are all over this as
             well. They have paperwork with your
             signature. In fact, some of the
             nice boys at the IRS would like to
             see you right now.
The TWO COPS step forward.
                       DAVID
             No this can’t be happening! I’m
             rich!
                       SUIT MAN
             You two took a chance no one would
             look too closely and they did and
             now you and your dad are going to
             directly jail. Do not pass go, do
             not collect $200.
                       DAVID
             Surely there is something that can
             be done....
                       SUIT MAN
             Sorry David. No Get out of jail
             free card for you. You’re going to
             be in prison a long time.
                       DAVID
             You can’t do this to me! Do you
             know who I am? I’m famous!
                       JOHN
             Goodbye David.
The crowd erupts into cheers as the the cops drag him out of
the building off kicking and screaming.
As the noise dies down we see JOSIE running up to John.

                                                   (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                           121.

She stops a few feet in front of him.
                       JOSIE
             Well can I at least hug you for
             your success without you pulling
             away?
                       JOHN
             Josie let me explain...
                       JOSIE
             No you don’t need to. I totally get
             it. You just want to be friends and
             after all this time I should have
             figured it out and shouldn’t have
             tried to cross that line and...
                       JOHN
             No you don’t get it. I have herpes.
Everything goes silent as Josie and the audience stare at
John in confusion.
CUT to Barbie staring in disgust and wiping her mouth.
                       JOSIE
             What? Are you serious?
                       JOHN
             Yeah. Not genital, oral. My ex went
             partying one night when I was at
             work and gave a hummer to a marine.
             Next thing you know I have sores,
             warts the whole thing. Been taking
             pills for it but it just won’t go
             away.
                       JOSIE
             So that’s what the whole not
             kissing me thing was about?
                       JOHN
             Yeah, I was embarrassed about it
             and didn’t know how to tell you and
             then you made a move and I
             panicked. I wanted to kiss you, but
             at the same time I’ve dreamt about
             our first kiss for so long and
             wanted it to be magical not sore
             infested... And oh fuck it.
John finally takes the initiative and kisses a surprised
Josie on the lips. The two of them melt into each others
arms blissfully enjoying the moment.
                                                     122.

EXT - ATLANTIC CITY BOARDWALK
It’s a nice sunny day on the boardwalk.
The sun is shining, birds are chirping and John and Josie
are walking down the street arm in arm.
                    JOSIE
          The thing that I don’t get about
          this whole thing is why you had to
          lose. Dramatic irony? Fear of
          flashbulbs?
                    JOHN
          No, losing wasn’t part of my plan.
          Hell I didn’t have a plan. I played
          the best I could and David beat me
          fair and square.
                    JOSIE
          Wait, so you didn’t call the cops
          or any thing?
                    JOHN
          No, I don’t even knew about the tax
          evasion or even how they knew where
          David was. That whole thing was
          just plain good luck. Or fate.
          Destiny. Whatever you want to call
          it. I’d like to think that it
          happened because I was fighting for
          good and truth. Or that it served a
          higher purpose. But I don’t really
          know for sure. Sometimes things
          just happen for no apparent reason.
                    JOSIE
          Weird. What about being Monopoly
          National Champion? You bummed about
          missing that opportunity?
                    JOHN
          A little I guess. I mean, yeah it
          would have been nice to get the
          trophy. But in the end it’s just 15
          minutes of fame, a hug from Mr.
          Monopoly and a trophy that just
          sits in the corner gathering dust.
          I don’t want to make it my life.
                    JOSIE
          What about the endorsements?
          Photoshoots? Cereal box covers?


                                                 (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED:                                           123.


                       JOHN
             Yeah that stuff would be fun.
             Living like a rockstar for a while.
             But still as things ended up the
             school is safe, and I am getting
             ready to start a three day weekend
             in Atlantic City with a $500 runner
             up prize and the woman I love. I
             mean, the only thing I am bummed
             about is missing that job.
                       JOSIE
             Well not so fast. I kinda forgot to
             tell Principal Irving about the
             whole assesor things so he still
             thinks you donated the money.
                       JOHN
                  (chuckling)
             Really?
                       JOSIE
             Yeah, they are throwing a party for
             you and everything so you have to
             act surprised.
                       JOHN
             See? So now I have a great job on
             Monday that I am actually looking
             forward to. Life just keeps getting
             better.
                       JOSIE
             The only question now is what do we
             do now?
                       JOHN
             Well we could hit the casinos, or
             get something to eat...
                        JOSIE
                   (interrupting)
             Or we could take advantage of the
             fact we still have those
             complimentary suites for another 3
             hours
JOHN gets a big smile on his face and the two of them go
running back the way they came.
                       THE END

								
To top