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					Creative Writing Portfolio
       2006-2007
       Forest Park
      Kenyatta Hawkins
            12th
       Mrs. Dowling
  I would like to thank everyone for taking time and
  looking at my work. So sit back with a nice cup of
                   coffee and enjoy.

Love is the pain, the struggle, but can that same love
          pick you up when all else is gone?
                  ~Raymond Harris
                Table of Contents
• Portfolio 1           • Portfolio 2        • Portfolio 3
    A little more then
      what it really is     Journal Entry 1     Journal Entry 1
• Feel’n it in my bones     Journal Entry 2     Journal Entry 2
  Behind my back            Journal Entry 3     Journal Entry 3
    Take a look at me      Journal Entry 4     Journal Entry 4
      now
    Effects everyone       Journal Entry 5     Journal Entry 5
    Artist of my roots     Writing             Writing
    Her plaits on my        Assignment           Assignment
      breast                Poetry              Poetry
    Additional Work        Additional Work     Additional Work
    Reflections            Reflections         Reflections
   A little more then what
         it really is..
My favorite book is
“Designed by God, So I must
be special, is more then just
a book. It is my comforter
after a long day at school. It
is a reminder that God made
me the way that I am for a
reason. It is the reason why
I love children. It brings out
the little blessings in me. It
tells me to appreciate those
around you. Shows that even
the littlest tings matter.
Feel’n it in my
    bones
  Jazz music has always
  been my favorite music. I
  mean the sweet melody
  dances through your ears
  and makes you jump to
  your toes. People begin to
  snap their finger and bop
  their heads. Hey play that
  sax baby. No music is like
  jazz music.
        I am a determined black young woman
        That doesn't settle for less
        And if anyone gives me little to do

 The    That's telling my that I'm not up for any challenge
        I don't take hands outs
        Because later you'll be excepting me to give you something


Woman
        “No” means “yes”
        I know why people tell me “No”
        They're afraid what my outcome maybe
        The world handles me


 that
        As if I will break
        Hello people
        I am not fragile, because
        I receive strength from God


  I     I can't say that I'm independent
        Not that I rely on mortal man
        I rely on the Creator
        I don't live by expectations

  am    I'm honest with people rather they want to hear it or not
        I can be mean sometimes
        But you'll get over it
        If not build a bridge
        I want
        I am striving
        To be like my mama
        So tell me
        Ani't I a Woman
  10 years from now I see myself married, with a child. I plan in
being a first grade teacher and owning a daycare in my home. My
life will be busy because I will be working with children, being a
 housewife and maintaining a daycare. I’m praying that I marry
my high school, sweetheart. I love children so I pray that my life
                       revolves around them.
                      Effects Everyone
              Effect Everyone
I am 18 years old, I have yet to graduate or even get my
  permit, but guess what? A 15 year old wants me to be
  her mother. And you know what I am all for it. I mean
yes I’m a baby myself, but I’m willing to help any child
 in need. I was talk to my boyfriend about it and he was
  ok with it. But the young girl doesn’t know if she still
wants to go through with this because she doesn’t want
   to mess up the relationship that I have with my boy
      friend. Its true, every decision we make effects
                           everyone.
                                                                                                     Artist
                                                                                                     of
                                                                                                     my
                                                                                                     Roots



 My mama use to always dress me in pretty dresses that were outlined with cream and white lacy. I felt more
     like her baby doll as she prepared me for Children’s Church. She would wake me up early every Sunday
  morning, so she could press my hair. I loved to get my hair pressed, even though sometimes she would slip
   and burn my ear, but I like the outcome of it. She would pick the hot comb up from the oven, blow on it to
    just cool it a little and slowly she would start from my roots and down to my ends. When my mama had
finished pressing my hair she would put grease on my scalp, I had the tendency to scratch. “Kenya, go get the
    hair bow box for me”. This was no ordinary box; it was as if we caught the rainbow. There were ribbons,
 knock-knocks and hair bows of every color. Now here comes the fun part. I would sit in mama’s lap and from
  the hair bow box I would gather the colors in my dress from the box. Mama would part my hair in six pieces
  and every piece she would put a knock-knock at the top and a hair bow at the bottom. Before placing a hair
  bow at the end she would split one piece of hair into two and plat them together. I loved the way my mama
 did my hair and she always took her time. I will never forget my mama’s hands in my hair. I guess that’s it’s
                                   true, the littlest things can mean so much to you.
The strongest love I know
Is a mother to a child
Her daughter becomes a lady
                                  Her plaits on my breast
Her son so meek and mild
I love my daughter
With all my heart
She is my pride and joy
God’s blest work of art
I wasn’t able to plait her hair
Or to see her first smile
But mow that I have her
She is my child now
Her mom doesn’t want her
So give her to a family that does
Somewhere she hears “I love you”
But even more kisses and hugs
You could just be her birth mother
To keep her for a while
Just to keep her company
Or just to make her smile
I maybe eighteen
But why cant she belong to me
I know what she needs
Less of friends and more of a mommy
I wasn’t able to plait her hair
Or see her first smile
You may have been her birth mother
But soon she’ll be my child.
A teenage mother can raise a
child.
An eighteen year old can have
custody over a fifteen year old.   The Bible is our guide.
A Childs sin can be forgiven.
                                   Blacks are just as smart as whites.
A mothers heart can be healed.
An independent woman is not        Children see no color.
always independent.
                                   A white child can play with a black doll.
There is a God.
That the church SHOULD be          My fight is in my writing.
a second home.
                                   People are placed where God wants them.
Love is everything but unsure.
Sacrifice is love.                 I can play the game just as any man.

That I can be a better role        People can restore and love pass pain.
model for my sisters.
I can change the world,            Mallah Hayden is my life.
starting with myself.
                                   He is my breath of fresh air.
Everyone has a purpose.
God wakes me for a reason.         He is my strength when I am weak.

Abortion is murder.                He is my smile when I am down.
Bush isn't the blame for our
sorrow.                            He gives his hand when I fall.

We all have a mind of our own.     He is my soul mate.
Virginity is self-respect.
                                   Everything happens for a reason.
Time heals.
                Reflections
1. The one thing that I like best about this project and
   letting every one see my thoughts and how I feel.
2. My favorite piece would be “Her breast on my
   plaits.” This is the deepest poem and it effects me
   every time I read it.
3. One thing that I would have put in would be more of
   my poems.
          Vanity
We get so caught up in how
we look on the outside rather
then how we are are the
inside.
 I have three wishes that I would
 like to make and my reasons for
          making them..
                                           Your
1. I wish that I could be a better child   Wish
then I have been to my parents. I
haven't always listened to them like I
should, because I use to think that I      is
knew everything, when all I knew
was nothing.                               my
2. I wish that the next young man
that says he loves me, not only says       Command
it but shows it.
3. I wish to become the woman that
I've always dreamed of being..like
my mom.
Learning to love myself…before I can love you
                                              Or if he really loved me at all
  How in the world
                                              This is my time
  Can you ask God for someone
                                              This is Kenyatta La’trice Hawkins
  When you can’t even love yourself           time
  I loved him so very much                    Yes
  Everyone knew it                            I can finally be free
  His family, my family and all our friends   Not to flirt but to find the inner me
  But its over now                            And also to love God more
  And I’m back to square one                  And to place my life back in His
                                              hands
  Being single
                                              So that when the next young man
  This gives me time to love who I am
                                              comes around
  Understand what I do and why I do it
                                              He can understand me
  Figure out what can make me and what can
                                              As much as I understand myself
  break me
  Not so much as worrying about why he did
  what he did
My father often asks me what I look for in a
young man, so I’m going to tell you just that. First
I want someone who wants to be my friend first.
Someone who respects my parents and their rules.
Someone who loves his mom because the way he
treats her will be the way he treats me. When we go
out or even on the phone we can hold a good
conversation but more important, a very good listener,
even when I’m around he speaks good things about
me. A saved Christian who wants to be a man of
God. Takes care of himself and his family. Works
hard for what he wants. Who can learn from his
mistakes and not let me have to pay for what some
other female did to him. Striving to me a man rather
claiming to be one. Willing to do things for me.
Knowing that the small things in a relationship          In the eyes of Mr.Right
matter the most. Not on a childish level. Someone
who wants to like me before he can love me. Out of
all these things the one I think is the most important
is, someone who needs me because he loves me.
  June 12,2007


I was just like that little girl.I would
look in the mirror and ask myself
where I would be in 11 years from
now. 11years later I am a Senior and
in 2 1/2 months I will be graduating
high school. I'm not scared as much
as I thought I would be. Heading out
to the real world on my own. The
reason for less fear is because my
parents have taught me how to take
care of myself. Also because God is
watching me every step of the way.
  I promise…last tear
           Its over and done
         I meant what I said,
             I need a home,
    Some place to lay my head.
       Why do I cry, because,
      My words aren't enough,
       We can't get any better,
        If you make it rough.
      You have internal issues
        That isn't helping me,
        Others say go to God,
Cause there's peace on your knees.
      All I did was love a man
        And this is my thanks,
           It's not that hard,
Sacrifices, everyday are to be made.
   You may have been my first
       But surely not my last,
       I have God on my side,
 You're just a tick mark in my pass.
         I draw the line here
     Clean my hands, I'm done
     This is the last tear I give,
  Something new under my sun.
•   I've had boy friends
    Some I wish I never met
    some I wish I never gave my
    heart to
    But I was young
                                       Me+Him+God=True Love
    I hungered for love
    But what was really lust
    All those games I played                        •My soul mate
    And lies I put up with                          Best friend
    Thank God for giving me a clear                 Other half
    vision now                                      Backbone
    I'm 18 years old                                Love
    And I'm in love                                 Protector
    This isn't your circle yes or no                My everything
    kind of love                                    God wakes me every morning
    This is serious                                 To help him through his day
    I finally found someone who                     I pray for him more then I do myself
    loves me for me
    Who cares more about the inside                 I love him with all my;
    rather the outside                              Heart
    Who knew I could still love                     Soul
    after being hurt over and over                  Mind
    again                                           Body
    But a lot of my friends and                     And spirit
    family don't understand                         Some people may never find love
    Yes I'm young and you may                       But I did
    think I don know what love is                   And no matter what you may think of
    But I do                                        it
    Love is a sacrifice                             I love him very much
    That at any cost                                This is not a game
    We are willing to make for each                 This is how I honestly feel
    other
    First loving God                                “Oh he's no good for you”
    Then being about to love each                   How do you know what's good for me
    other                                           You don't
    He is striving to be a man                      So quit thinking that you do
    But more so a man of God                        Understand us first
    Yes he has failures
    but we all do
    What he is to me:
•
    You wanna be a man
    But you're still playing games
    It's easy to say you wanna be
                                                     M
    Your voice got deeper

                                                     A
    You grew to a bean stock
    That still doesn't make you into a man
    The same fellow that wants to be one
    Is the same one that pouts
    Finding a good black man
    Is stressful on your girl
    Oh no, not me                                    N
    I have a good black man
    I'm speaking for those who don't
    I understand these blind you
    Gigolos
    Pimps
    Cat daddy's
    Wannabes
    Thugs
    These little boys
    We get so distracted that we settle for what's
•   in front of us
    So what if your girlfriends say
    “you need a man”
    or being singles ani't fun”
    but let me tell you this
    you don't need a man to complete you
    if so you wouldn't have “independent” women
    being single is fun
    but good things will come to an end
    You want Mr. Right
    Well do what I did
    It's not hard
    Any women can do it
    Just do this….
    pray
No more dead babies
No more fear                         Fearfully and
No more selfish mothers
No more fathers tears                wonderfully made
“I'm doing what is best,
                                       Who cares if you're to young?
For the baby and me”,
                                       You should not be having sex
Lies to self
                                       “Oh but I'm grown, right,
You preferred injection
                                       What you sow you will regret.
You know what you're doing is wrong
                                       I'll burn down every abortion clinic
Your frown brightness the clinic
                                       And I know I'm not alone,
“When have another confused mother
                                       How can you show your face?
Paging Doctor. Bennett.
                                       When you know you're wrong.
My son doesn't know his mother
                                       This poem is hurting my stomach
And that's all right with me
                                       But I wont sit down
Then to wake up 2:00 am
                                       I'm standing up to murders
To know the baby cries were dreams
                                       Who don't deserve a mother's crown
These murders called moms
                                       God can forgive you
Will find in their heart and see
                                       No matter what you do
Abortion does not affect just you
                                       But if I were God
But me and this world in deed
                                       I'd turn my back on you
                                 No more baby steps
•   When my dad looks at me
    He doesn't see that little girl he use to push on the
    swing,
    That little girl on the seesaw,
    Or the little angel in Sunday school.
    Now he sees
    A young woman,
    Whose curves are winder then before,
    A determined young lady,
    Her own leader,
    Learning to take care of her self,
    Dating.
    I know that my dad isn't ready
    But it's time.
    I'm no longer a baby.
    Dad, just because I'm getting older,
    Doesn’t mean I don’t need you,
•   It just means I need you more
•   I know mom will have a hard time,
    But I'm more worried about you.
    I'm headed for the real world,
    I wont forget the things you taught me,
    And the lessons I've learned.

    P.S: I maybe a young woman, but I'm still your baby
    girl.
    I love you, Daddy
                   The Love for Her People
I'm in love with a white boy
Back then they frowned on this
They killed a black boy for whistling at a white
Back this they killed for this
What makes us different?
When we bleed its red
And when little boys scrap their knee
Their mama uses a Band-Aid
We have a mind of our own
Whites are no better then blacks
Colored and whites want what's best for their
sons
What's the difference in that?
We work hard to the bone
To put food on the table
What makes me different from a white girl?
Little brown face is capable
So I'm in love with a white boy
Here's the rope, hang me
Tell that white boy, I'm just a Negro
And that he can't love me                          ~Love never had a color so
                                                   why give it one
                                            My “I don’t care” attitude
I could care less
if you don’t like me
Or if you have to see my face everyday
If you don’t like it
Walk the other way down the hall.
I could care less
If females talk behind my back
If you’re that bold to speak
Then speak it to my face.
I could care less if I lose a friend
You probably were one of the females
Who talked behind my back.
I don’t care what people think about me
                                                         Sticks and stones
Its what you think and not what you know.
                                                         May break my
I don’t care if he doesn't want me
                                                         bones
Because when you left
God will and will always be there.                       But your words
SO I DON’T CARE
                                                         can’t weaken me
             Reflections…                               looking back at my work


•   How have you developed as a writer this semester? (What have you learned or
    what skills have you gained?)
     –   I've learned to free write a lot. Most of the poems I have written I made from free
         writing. Also to have not limits when I write. I write in different areas and different
         places.
•   What lessons about writing can you apply your other classes?
     –   In English class but learning from Creative writing, is to expand and to go into details
         when needing to.
•   What do you feel is your best piece of writing in your portfolio? Why?
     –   My best piece would have to be “Learning to love myself…before I can love you”. The
         reason for that is because its true, I really have and still am going through this process
         of loving who you are and letting God lead you in this life.
•   What strategies have you used to overcome some of the challenges of writing this
    semester?
     –   Writing on topics that I’ve never written about and writing about my personal life so
         others can learn from the mistakes that I have made and to know the outcome of them.
•   What were your strengths in writing?
     –   Telling the truth, never biting my tongue when I write,and not worrying about who may
         not like my writing.
•   What areas do you need to continue to develop as a writer?
     –   Grammar and Spell check

				
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