THE SAN FRANCISCO CHRONICLE MAGAZINE doesn't include those who never enrolled in the first place. August 24, 2003 Because limited research has been conducted nationwide, When Help Fails little is known about how participation reduces violence or Author: Rona Marech which models of treatment - and they're wildly varied - work best. Almost no data about the effectiveness of any A neighbor chatting on the phone heard the children of the San Francisco programs exist, and critics have downstairs screaming, "Mommy, Mommy!" Peering raised concerns about such fundamental issues as the worriedly out her window, she saw the 10- year-old dart quality of the classes and the training of facilitators. down the path alongside the basement apartment to the "We have women's lives literally in their hands, and front of the building. we're not sure what the efficacy is," said Beverly Upton, "Help, help," he sobbed. "My mom, she's been executive director of San Francisco Domestic Violence stabbed." Consortium, a nonprofit umbrella organization. Inside the apartment, Claire Joyce Tempongko lay "Can you expect a program that someone goes to for slumped over a chair covered in blood. She was barely two or three hours a week to change deep-seated breathing; long seconds would pass between each thin, behaviors?" asked JoAnn McAllister, a domestic violence strangled inhalation. When a police officer came upon the researcher who just completed a doctoral dissertation on scene, his hands shook so violently he was unable to take batterer intervention and worked as a court analyst until notes. earlier this month. "If a person is dangerous, he ought to Tempongko died from multiple stab wounds before be in jail. Are we asking too much of batterer intervention she made it to the hospital. programs?" Neighbors told police they had seen Tari Ramirez, Treating men for their violent behavior was not a Tempongko's former boyfriend, running from the priority when feminists began raising awareness about apartment with a bloody kitchen knife. The knife was later domestic violence in the early '70s. At that time, advocates recovered from bushes in the usually tranquil Richmond were most concerned with such necessities as setting up District neighborhood. battered women's shelters and were loath to turn their In San Francisco, anguish over Tempongko's murder attention toward perpetrators. shaded into anger as details emerged of how the criminal By the end of the decade, however, the idea of justice system had failed the 28-year-old. For a year and a rehabilitating batterers became politically viable, and half, she had called police, made reports, secured programs for abusive men were established around the protective orders and otherwise sought protection from her country. (The majority of domestic violence offenders are abusive boyfriend. A commission formed after her death men; for clarity, this article refers to batterers only as issued an exhaustive report 16 months later, painfully male.) In California, a 1993 state law put probation enumerating what had gone wrong. The Police departments in charge of the mandated intervention Department, Adult Probation, the district attorney and the programs and extended the program length to 52 weeks. courts were all censured. A committee was formed to Today, the business of re-education is flourishing. oversee implementation of the report's recommendations. No one keeps a tally in California, but since a growth One little-noted revelation in the report was that Tari spurt in the past few years, the state boasts hundreds of Ramirez, who had served time for domestic violence programs, McAllister said. Organizations are funded by a against Tempongko, had attended batterer intervention combination of class fees (sliding scale up to $50) as well classes on and off since August 1999 - both in and out of as public and private sources. For example, Positive jail - and seemed to be a successful student. Directions, a multi-service organization in Bayview- As part of their probation, all convicted batterers in Hunters Point, has a $400,000 annual budget that comes California are required by law to attend these re-education mostly from the city and county of San Francisco, classes, which cover subjects such as power dynamics and according to director Cedric Akbar. Manalive, with a gender roles and are intended to help men (and women) $150,000 budget, doesn't receive any public money. unlearn violent behavior. The organizations offering State law requires that the anti-violence curricula classes and the number of participants has ballooned in the address such subjects as gender roles, the nature of past decade; hundreds of the 1,600 San Franciscans on violence and the harmful effects of abuse on children. But domestic violence probation are supposedly enrolled in beyond these prescriptions, program administrators are one of the city's certified programs at any given time. free to shape content as they please. The case of Tari Ramirez is extreme but nonetheless There are 12 certified reeducation programs in the raises a number of troubling issues about these 52-week city, and their range is surprising. Some classes sound like programs. Most notably, the legal system that orders Women's Studies 101 lectures; some resemble group batterers to attend anti-violence classes doesn't enforce therapy. Manalive, which was developed in 1980 at Marin attendance. On average, 55 percent of offenders in San Abused Women's Services, has a strict regimen and an Francisco quit before finishing, and that dropout figure unambiguous political approach that stresses relinquishing restaurant. Ramirez was working, but he made sure that old assumptions about gender roles. Tempongko and her friend had ample wine and good Other curricula are more free form: A recent class at service. He paid for everything. Medina saved a photo he S.F. Bay Counseling held a seemingly aimless discussion snapped halfway through the meal. In it, Ramirez leans about childhood experiences that was punctuated by the over the two women, grinning broadly. Tempongko, her facilitator's recurring comment: "You need to take a look fork lifted, offers a wobbly smile. at that." When Ramirez had had a few drinks, he could get Another recent class, at Positive Directions in the heart aggressive and jealous, Medina said. The couple seemed of Bayview- Hunters Point, erupted in shouts midway happy, though; at least happy enough. through. "I'm a victim! I'm a victim! I'm a victim!" one But the alleged abuse had started almost immediately. man cried, shooting to his feet and punching his hands The police were summoned to the apartment for the together. "I'm a victim of a system!" first time on April 2, 1999. Ramirez had shown up drunk Afterward, when the class had cleared out, the and on cocaine, Tempongko told officers. He had smashed facilitator, Na'im Harrison, explained that he's the bedroom window with his fist, according to the police intentionally cultivating an environment where report, and when he had finally gained entrance to the participants can speak freely. "They get rid of it in here, apartment, grabbed Tempongko by the hair and dragged then no one gets the brunt of it, the misdirected anger," he her down the hallway. He slammed her to the ground, then said. picked her up, kissed her and left. MOVE, one of the original intervention programs in A couple hours later, Ramirez crashed his car, and the Bay Area, is phasing out its classes to focus on police arrested him on suspicion of driving under the prevention, said Alan Greig, the president of the influence. organization's board. "Even with a 52-week program, the Clara Tempongko had never approved of her evidence nationally is that the impact could be quite daughter's boyfriend. He was rude to her. She didn't like limited," he said. that he confused the 5-year-old, telling her that she was from Mexico and that he was her father. She didn't like People liked Tari Ramirez. He smiled a lot, worked that the kids called him Poppy. She didn't like the hard. He was good-looking - almond-shaped eyes, violence. chiseled jaw, a clean-cut look - and he tended to impress One time during a visit, after Claire Joyce whispered customers at the restaurants where he worked as a busboy. that Ramirez had just beaten her, Clara offered to send her He grew up in Mexico, but his English was quite fluent daughter to the Philippines. "To forget him," she said. and he liked to use it. "But he always said sorry the next day," Clara said. "He was very charming. Very handsome," said "He didn't mean it. Every time, he said sorry. I'm sorry. Antone Sabella, his boss at A. Sabella's restaurant. "You I'm sorry. I love you so much, da da da. He's melting her would say a ladies' man. A very handsome guy, great heart again. You know. Love." smile. He looked you right in the eye and smiled." And so the relationship hobbled forward and on May In November 1998, Ramirez met Claire Joyce 18, the couple went out dancing with a friend to celebrate Tempongko at a Fisherman's Wharf bar. Tempongko, who their six-month anniversary. But the evening soured when had moved to the United States from the Philippines when another man asked Claire Joyce to dance. Later that night she was 16, often wore a leather jacket and bright lipstick at the friend's Mission District apartment, Ramirez and loved to play pool and dance. When he was old repeatedly hit her in the head, according to a police report, enough, she'd tell her young son, she would take him then dragged her onto the sidewalk by the hair and clubbing with her. threatened her with a broken beer bottle. "I'm going to Though she was a single mom supporting two children burn the house down and hurt your kids," he said. on a low-wage salary (she had held various jobs in retail, Claire Joyce was quivering and crying hysterically security and data entry), she'd managed to squirrel away a when the police arrived. "Don't leave me here with him," couple thousand dollars in savings. She had dreams of she kept saying, according to the report. owning a house and providing her children with a good The district attorney filed a restraining order after the education, said Clara Tempongko, Claire Joyce's mother. incident; a week later, Ramirez violated it when he left Shortly after Ramirez began dating Tempongko, he Tempongko a note. moved into the cramped one- bedroom she shared with her "I dying to see you and try to be you friend," he wrote son and daughter. He began telling people that they were in his imperfect English. "I know you not suppost to see married and that the children were his, once writing on a me and I know the risk I'm taking, but there is nothing in job application that he liked to spend time with his wife this world most important that you baby." and kids. Tempongko took the note to the police. Ramirez was Luis Medina, a waiter at A. Sabella's, recounted one arrested. That summer, he was sentenced to three years of night that Tempongko and a friend had dined at the probation for one count of felony spousal abuse and was partner like "you ain't gonna be nothing without me." ordered to participate in a batterer treatment program. After class, he approached the facilitator. "I want to learn Ramirez briefly attended classes at Latino Family more," he said. "That's why I always take notes." Counseling Center, but he was kicked out after missing three classes. Then he started getting in trouble again. On Luis Ortega was Tari Ramirez's first anti-violence Oct. 16, he was arrested for loitering outside a women's class facilitator in the county jail. Ortega has a round face, bathroom. On Nov. 18, after another fight with a silver front tooth and eyes that pinch upwards at the Tempongko, he ended up in county jail. corners when he smiles. He doesn't look as if he'd hurt a That's when he entered RSVP, a five-day-a-week, fly, but will shyly explain that he was in jail in 1992 for comprehensive rehabilitative program for inmates. domestic violence. Manalive is part of the curriculum (in- custody Ramirez came in with the kind of pitbull-on-a-leash participation can count toward the mandated 52-week attitude facilitators often see initially. He was convinced course, but cannot replace it), and Ramirez began the class wouldn't help and objected to what he perceived attending these anti-violence classes several days a week. as forced participation. But then he warmed to the program, Ortega said. He Manalive was founded by Hamish Sinclair, a scruffy, spoke about how he felt in jail. He showed around a over-talky 70-year-old with flyaway eyebrows and a picture of Tempongko's daughter and said he missed his craggy face. Sinclair was a community organizer before family. He picked up the concepts quickly, helping out stopping male violence became his calling more than 20 other inmates with definitions. Sometimes he cried. years ago. In certain circles, he is spoken of with a real air Ramirez's mood was erratic, and on a particularly of reverence. Most of Manalive's peer facilitators have black day, he told Ortega he was thinking of hurting violent histories (and, in some cases, long, frightening rap himself. Ortega reported the conversation to the jail sheets to prove it), and all have been through the program. psychologist, but nothing came of it. The psychologist Several mentioned times they escaped a potentially examined Ramirez and determined he was fine. volatile situation by imagining Hamish whispering in their "I'm not really convinced of that," Ortega said in an ear. interview. "If you talk to him, he's fine, but if you get into The sheriff's department has replicated Sinclair's it, he needs help." model in both RSVP and their post-release program Soon after, Ortega quit to go back to school. known as PREP. "Continue to do the work," Ramirez said one day in The Manalive approach is unabashedly feminist. class before Ortega left. "You help a lot of people, even "Violence is the enforcement of the male stereotype of people who come in with my attitude." social and gender superiority," Sinclair's theory goes. In Eric Camberos, who took over the class, remembers response to that, the program teaches men about equality Ramirez as obedient. "He complied with everything. But and how to escape the confining version of manhood that here's the thing, right, just because a person knows the society has instilled in them. information doesn't mean they're going to put it to use. Instead of "girlfriend," offenders learn to use the more You can have other motives for being here. To get off egalitarian word "partner." They learn about intimacy and paper. To improve your case." feelings and "fatal peril" - one of the many terms Sinclair Jerry Scoggins is the manager at County Jail No. 7 invented - which refers to the moment their "male role and a Manalive instructor. "You always suspect, because belief system breaks down." In other words, they're they're in jail, that they will tell you anything. I validate disrespected and they have to decide in that instant of what they say, but I wait until they get out," he said. "You rising anger whether or not to fight; whether to give can talk a good game, but the real test comes when you themselves over to the hyper-masculine image or to call walk out the door." on their gentler "authentic" selves. It sounds cerebral, but offenders catch on quickly. For Unfortunately, a lot of men walk out the door and example, during the highly structured check-in at a recent don't stop at their court- mandated re-education classes - Manalive class in jail, a soft-spoken redhead with a tight though failing to attend can result in more jail time. About jawline talked about his "hitman" (his violent, superior 25 percent of those sent to batterer intervention never persona) as an "impulsive, know-it-all, bossy escape show up in class, according to a study of offenders who artist" and his authentic self as a "loving, caring poet." went through an orientation - that Probation designed to In general, participants in classes (in and out of jail) improve compliance - between September 2002 and come across as almost shockingly earnest. In this March 2003. A different study showed that of those men particular session, a 46-year-old man was painstakingly who do enroll, 33 percent complete the programs and 55 taking notes and practically sweating with effort. He never percent do not. The remainder of participants were knew before how harmful words could be, he said, dropped from the study for insufficient data or because recounting how he constantly used to throw insults at his they were taken back into custody. Those figures are based on data collected by the courts and the programs But he'd seen another way when he entered Manalive themselves between 1997 and 2002. in the county jail, and he ended up going to drug Last year, 200 San Francisco probationers enrolled in rehabilitation, coming out as a gay man and, eventually, Manalive, Sinclair said. Just 21 finished the full 52-week becoming a facilitator. He was completing his training program. A handful of those people transferred or were when Ramirez showed up in class. reincarcerated, but most stopped coming or never showed Ramirez quickly slipped into the same role of up in the first place. squeaky-clean class helper. He smiled frequently; he was Batterer program studies around the country frequently eager to assist fellow participants. Critical feedback could report a dropout rate of 50 percent, McAllister said. unnerve him, Moskowitz said, but that was hardly However, by contrast, the 16-week intervention program unusual. in Pittsburg, Pa., which has been repeatedly studied and is Manalive participants sit in order of seniority - with considered one of the nation's most successful programs, the longest attending member first. One day, Moskowitz has a 70 percent completion rate. recalled, Ramirez asked a newcomer to move his seat. When men stop attending, the program sends a report "F- mother-, you think you're the police?" the novitiate to Probation. The offenders are subsequently required to hissed at him. appear in court, and if they don't, a bench warrant goes out Ramirez bristled momentarily, then he caught himself for their arrest. and put up his hands in the symbol for fatal peril. A Officers make calls and otherwise try to track down discussion that could go in the class handbook followed. the missing person, according to Arturo Faro, a division "Can I give you some feedback?" Ramirez asked, director in Adult Probation. If they come up empty- perfectly executing the Manalive formula, which promotes handed, Probation, along with the Police Department's asking permission instead of giving unsolicited advice and fugitive recovery enforcement team and the Sheriff's identifying feelings. Department, "actively go out there and look for them," "I guess." Faro said. "When I heard you say that under your breath, it hurt But much of the time, these men fall through the my feelings," he continued. "And the way you're talking cracks. "The criminal justice system is not equipped to right now makes me afraid." enforce bench orders," Sinclair said. Finally he asked, "Can I get an agreement from you Harold Kahn, the judge who presides over San that you won't talk to me that way?" Francisco's domestic violence court, noted that he Some people find the language "too mushy and frequently sees people who have been picked up on weird," Moskowitz said, but Ramirez seemed to willfully warrants. But he conceded, "typically, they're served when learn and use it. a person is in a car with a busted taillight or doesn't have a "I saw it work for him," Moskowitz said. registration or is arrested for an alleged drug sale. It's less Still, sometimes, he wondered about Ramirez. common to see a sheriff's officer that goes out and serves "There were times, I clearly remember looking at his warrants without any reason." body language, sitting with his arms crossed, just Out on the street, this loophole hasn't escaped notice. parroting the language. I remember noting to myself, 'I "Most people think they're slick, beating the system by not need to work on that. He's not being sincere.' " coming in. 'The chase is on. Come let them find me,' " said a Positive Directions class member who didn't want Unfortunately, 25 years after the introduction of anti- to be identified. domestic-violence programs, society still doesn't know a "As long as you aren't behind (the wheel of) a whole lot about how to teach batterers to stop. Nationally, motorized vehicle, you won't get caught. Stay away from studies have shown that re-education can be effective, but sweeps and don't drive. It'll be a long time before research is limited. To date in San Francisco, there have Probation catches up with them." been no serious evaluations of 52-week intervention programs, McAllister said. (To its credit, however, Unlike the majority of convicted batterers, Tari Probation is conducting a study and another one is under Ramirez had a decent attendance record at the Manalive way at Pocovi, the program for Spanish speakers founded PREP classes he went to after his release from jail. In by former Manalive facilitator Antonio Ramirez. Also, a March 2000, he entered Aaron Moskowitz's class. study of RSVP - in toto, not just the Manalive classes - Moskowitz, 30, is a jumpy, likable, fast talker who's showed that participation significantly reduces recidivism. quick to hug near- strangers and will divulge all his secrets ) in a heartbeat. But he wasn't always like that. Just a few "We need to know a lot more about what works," years before encountering Ramirez, Moskowitz was a McAllister said. skinhead and a drug addict who says he had been in and Sending violent men to unproven programs seems like out of jail close to 100 times. He had a black swastika a risky experiment to some critics, who have a host of tattoo and a snarl to match it. concerns about the intervention business in San Francisco. First of all, there is no oversight of facilitator training, One of the few points of agreement in the contentious a number of people pointed out. Essentially, anyone can field is that re- education is not for everyone. So-called hang out a shingle and offer to teach future facilitators, as "stakeholders" - people with relationships or families or long as his program is 40 hours long and hits on the jobs - are much more likely to succeed in class. For others, subjects outlined in the penal code. participation can make matters worse because men simply "Nobody certifies the training," McAllister said. "It is learn more sophisticated ways of terrorizing their partners. a huge oversight." Or classes fuel their resentment. Or victims allow their Some of the same people calling for better monitoring expectations to rise only to be let down, which lessens the of the training are wary about the rash of new programs likelihood that they'll seek help in the future. that have sprung up in San Francisco. An advisory "We find across our sites that there are a core of men, committee, which formed last year, made the certification as much as 20 percent, who are repeatedly violent and process for hopeful applicants much more rigorous. But unresponsive to intervention," said Edward Gondolf, some still think that unqualified programs - lured by the research director at the Mid-Atlantic Addiction Training promise of ready-made clients and course fees - are Institute at Indiana University of Pennsylvania. slipping through the net. Ramirez was a classic out-of-reach client who might "The sad thing is you're getting people who were car have been better served with one-on-one therapy, salespeople. You give them training and they think they're Scoggins said. experts. It's dangerous to me. It's very difficult work. You "In custody, he was compliant, nice. He learned the need background, theory and intensive training," said program, could spit back what he'd learned. But his Jerry Scoggins, the jail manager. "You see these new kids behavior didn't change." on the block, and it's pretty scary." Tempongko said as much at a "women's gathering" Beverly Upton serves on the advisory committee. "I'd that RSVP hosted in the summer of 2000. "This program give any program a second look that got into this by doing doesn't work," she said angrily. "Either he will kill me, or traffic court and anger management," she said, referring to I will kill him." S.F. Bay Counseling. Domestic violence is such a A case worker called Tempongko several times after dangerous and particular crime that "any time I see it that and left messages, but didn't hear from her for lumped with learning how to read a stop sign or keeping months. Eventually, Tempongko scheduled several your insurance low, I am concerned." appointments, but she never showed up. Art Azizian, the S.F. Bay Counseling director and a Navy vet, said substance abuse services, anger He came horribly close to killing her on Sept. 1, 2000. management and parenting classes provided a natural A police officer responding to a call entered Tempongko's springboard for an anti-domestic-violence program apartment to find her lying on the bed with her two because these issues are often directly or indirectly children. She was crying uncontrollably, the officer wrote related. And yes, he added, his center does offer traffic in a report. Blood was spilling from her mouth and her violator school and driver's education. neck was streaked with red marks. Perhaps the most ferocious debate, however, circulates Tempongko told the officer that Ramirez was furious around the question of treatment methods. Advocates spar when she returned home late after a night out drinking over issues including the benefits of peer education with friends. He forced his fingers down her throat and (makes sense on a gut level, but critics wonder whether squeezed her neck with both hands until she could barely uneducated ex-cons should be charged with such a breathe. Then he took her purse and left. delicate task) whether couples therapy is ever appropriate Police arrested Ramirez six days later, when he (the idea is gaining adherents, though historically it's been showed up drunk at Tempongko's house, violating the considered heretical because "no one will be candid when emergency protective order she'd secured days before. she's going to go home and get the snot beat out of her," as Incredibly, Ramirez continued attending Manalive. Upton put it), how long the programs should be (is Less than two weeks after his arrest, he entered the second California's 52-week course so drawn- out that it invites 16-week phase of the program, in which participants focus dropouts?) and how to run the classes (should the on self-awareness and unearthing their authentic selves. emphasis be on therapy or gender analysis or something Scott Schell, a classmate who later became a facilitator, else entirely?). remembers Ramirez as quiet and mellow. He didn't seem Sinclair is a hard-liner on the latter subject - he insists very engaged, he said. Ramirez didn't mention his run-in that because gender superiority is a social category, like with the law in class. (Instructors do not automatically racism, there's no place for practices such as therapy in the have access to this information; as a matter of course, they classroom. only receive such updates from Probation when a "If you rob a bank, do you get a therapist?" he said. participant is called back into court, according to "It's akin to going to a gas station with a tailpipe broken." McAllister.) The arrest didn't surface in court either. In one of the The police and the FBI (which is involved in the many tragic mistakes later uncovered, the judge trying investigation) suspect that Ramirez fled to his native Ramirez for the unrelated peeping charge never saw the Mexico, said Maureen D'Amico, the police inspector domestic violence reports from the two incidents that had investigating the case. The award for tips leading to his just occurred. arrest was recently raised to $35,000. Pushed by Consequently, Ramirez's sentence was light: 30 days advocates, the police department tried to persuade in a work program. The commission later found that the "America's Most Wanted" to air a segment about Ramirez, police reports mysteriously had never made it to Probation D'Amico said, to no avail. or to the district attorney. Furthermore, Ramirez had not "It's a sad state of affairs to say it happens all the time. reported to a probation officer in months - his officer, There was nothing in his background that made him more Jorge Perez, had left the job in June and no one had taken interesting or stand-outish than any other case," she said. over his caseload. "After a writer came out and took all the notes and Ramirez showed up to class for the final time on Oct. background and everything, the producers just said there's 10, 2000. That was about when Luis Medina, the old really nothing here. " acquaintance from A. Sabella's, ran into Ramirez in the After Claire Joyce died, her children were separated. Tenderloin district. The little girl went to live with Clara, and her brother The relationship with Tempongko was over, Ramirez moved in with his biological father, who lives in the said. They'd split for good. He told Medina he was living suburbs. Her granddaughter, now 8, is doing well in with some friends in the neighborhood and had found a school, Clara said. But she worries about her grandson, new job. who's 13. Sometimes, she catches him sitting still as clay "He said he wanted to go on with his life," Medina and staring far away, she said. When he cries, he always said. "He seemed like he'd decided to make a final calls for his mother. decision to leave her alone." "I cry whenever he's crying," Clara said, her big eyes It was all for the best, said Medina, who had been welling up. "Because he's suffering." through a difficult breakup himself. He suggested that Though more than two years have passed since the Ramirez travel to Mexico, "find a nice young lady and murder, the domestic violence community and others bring her here." touched by Claire Joyce's murder still seem almost shell- "Because the girls here are used to freedom," Medina shocked. More than a dozen people spoke of being said, "and he didn't like that." haunted by the case. Twelve days later, Ramirez allegedly killed "I'll never be the same," Upton said, tearing up. Tempongko while her children watched. Then he fled the "Because it's everyone's worst nightmare that that's what's house for the last time. A warrant is out for his arrest, but going to happen." he has not been found. Both Scott Schell and Moskowitz often bring up Clara Tempongko is a petite, grandmotherly woman Ramirez in their classes. "I use him as an example all the with eyes like moons. Her daughter's murder has turned time, when I talk about how this program doesn't work her into an activist of sorts. Shortly after Claire Joyce unless you work it," Moskowitz said. "All I have is some died, she attended a rally at the Hall of Justice. Police told tools that I use every day. For Tari - at the time when he Claire Joyce they couldn't give her protection unless it was needed to use them, he didn't." a matter of life or death, she told the crowd. "How will Christy Maldonado, a neighbor of Tempongko's, says you give protection now?" she demanded tearfully. when she's traveling for work, she often imagines she sees She is suing the city and county for violation of civil Ramirez in crowds at the airport. Jorge Perez, Ramirez's rights on behalf of her grandchildren and daughter's estate. onetime probation officer, wonders if he'll spot his former "Claire Joyce Tempongko was deprived of her right to probationer when he's vacationing in Cancun. Luis equal protection under the laws designed to protect Medina grows stony at work when the subject comes up or domestic violence victims," said Khaldoun Baghdadi, other waiters tease him about his acquaintance with a Clara's attorney. The case came before a magistrate judge murder suspect. Schell sometimes comes across the old in May but the two sides were unable to reach a wanted posters and reflects: "Could that have been me?" settlement. A court date has been set for late 2004. Upton said she frequently thinks about where Ramirez Clara has not been happy with the police search for is hiding and who else is with him. Ramirez. "I'm sick and tired of hearing, 'Oh, we're doing "These guys don't go celibate," she said. "I would like our best. Don't worry, don't worry,' " she said. "Of course I to see them make a break in this case, because he's out worry every day." there. When Ramirez's mother died around two years ago, "And by now, he has a new partner." Clara had hoped police would send someone to the funeral in Mexico, but no one went.