Habit 4 – Think Win - Win Two friends face a threatening bearon a hike in the woods. First friend: “How do you expect to outrun the bear?” Second friend: “Don’t have to; only need to outrun you.” Win-Lose The Totem Pole Win-Lose is an attitude towards life that says the pie is only big and if you get a big oeice there is less for everyone else. Relationships, friendships and loyalty are all sencondary to winning the game, being the best and having it your way. Lose-Win The Doormat This is the doormat syndrome. People who would prefer to lose to avoid any type of ocnflict that may result if they attempted to assert themselves. Lose-Win The Downward Spiral Lose-Lose says if I „m going down than I am taking you with me. War is a great example of lose- lose. Whoever kills the most people wins the war but do they really win in the end? If you want to win at all costs and you are competing aginst someone who wants to win at all costs chance are the you will both lose. Win-Win The All You Can Eat Buffet Win-Win is a beliuef that everyone can win. It‟s both nice and tough; I won‟t step on you but then again will not be your doormat. It is the belief that there is plenty of success to go around so why not make sure that everyone gets what they need. Reactive people make choices based on impulse. They are like a can of pop. If life shakes them up a bit, the pressure builds and suddenly they explode. Proactive people think before they act. They realize that they cannot control everything that happens to them but they can control what they do about it. Ex. Your new teacher has a teaching style that makes it difficult for you to learn. Reactive Response Proactive Response “This class sucks. I am never going You could choose to: to learn a thing.” Get a tutor or some outside help “It is the teacher‟s fault if I get a bad Go to your teacher and make grade or fail this class.” some suggestions for things that work for you. “Why should I even bother trying.” Go to a former teacher for further explanation when you think you need it. REACTIVE LANGUAGE PROACTIVE LANGUAGE I’ll try I’ll do it That’s just the way I am I can do better than that I have to I choose to I can’t There’s gotta be a way You ruined my day I’m not going to let your bad mood rub off on me. Review the following scenarios. In your notebook writ three reative respnse and three proactive responses to the following situations. Scene One You overhear your best friend bad-mouthing you in front of a group. She doesn‟t know you overheard the conversation. Just five minutes ago, this same friend was sweet-talking you to your face. You feel betrayed by her behaviour. Scene Two You‟ve been working on the weekends in a restaurant for over a year. You work during the evenings and you would prefer to work in the afternoons so that you can have the evenings free. A new employee with only three months experience is given the Saturday afternoon shift that you were hoping for.