Habit 1 – Be Proactive by wanghonghx


									Habit 4 – Think Win - Win

            Two friends face a threatening bearon a hike in the woods. First friend: “How do you expect
                    to outrun the bear?” Second friend: “Don’t have to; only need to outrun you.”

Win-Lose The Totem Pole
Win-Lose is an attitude towards life that says the pie is only big and if you get a big oeice there is
less for everyone else. Relationships, friendships and loyalty are all sencondary to winning the
game, being the best and having it your way.

Lose-Win The Doormat
This is the doormat syndrome. People who would prefer to lose to avoid any type of ocnflict that
may result if they attempted to assert themselves.

Lose-Win The Downward Spiral
Lose-Lose says if I „m going down than I am taking you with me. War is a great example of lose-
lose. Whoever kills the most people wins the war but do they really win in the end? If you want to
win at all costs and you are competing aginst someone who wants to win at all costs chance are
the you will both lose.

Win-Win The All You Can Eat Buffet
Win-Win is a beliuef that everyone can win. It‟s both nice and tough; I won‟t step on you but then
again will not be your doormat. It is the belief that there is plenty of success to go around so why
not make sure that everyone gets what they need.

Reactive people make choices based on impulse. They are like a can of pop. If life
shakes them up a bit, the pressure builds and suddenly they explode.

Proactive people think before they act. They realize that they cannot control everything
that happens to them but they can control what they do about it.

Ex. Your new teacher has a teaching style that makes it difficult for you to learn.

Reactive Response                                           Proactive Response
“This class sucks. I am never going                         You could choose to:
to learn a thing.”                                              Get a tutor or some outside
“It is the teacher‟s fault if I get a bad                       Go to your teacher and make
grade or fail this class.”                                         some suggestions for things
                                                                   that work for you.
“Why should I even bother trying.”                              Go to a former teacher for
                                                                   further explanation when you
                                                                   think you need it.

REACTIVE LANGUAGE                                          PROACTIVE LANGUAGE
I’ll try                                                   I’ll do it
That’s just the way I am                                   I can do better than that
I have to                                                  I choose to
I can’t                                      There’s gotta be a way
You ruined my day                            I’m not going to let your bad mood rub off
                                             on me.

Review the following scenarios. In your notebook writ three reative respnse and three
proactive responses to the following situations.

Scene One
You overhear your best friend bad-mouthing you in front of a group. She doesn‟t know
you overheard the conversation. Just five minutes ago, this same friend was sweet-talking
you to your face. You feel betrayed by her behaviour.

Scene Two
You‟ve been working on the weekends in a restaurant for over a year. You work during
the evenings and you would prefer to work in the afternoons so that you can have the
evenings free. A new employee with only three months experience is given the Saturday
afternoon shift that you were hoping for.

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