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                     VOLUME CVIII, NUMBER 11                                        PASADENA, CALIFORNIA                                                         JANUARY 8, 2007

New South                                                                                                                  Friends Remember
House Gate                                                                                                                 Alumnus Steve Gao
Vandalized                                                                                                                 2006 Graduate Known for Kindness, Compassion
  BY: ANNA HISZPANSKI                                                                                                               BY: MARISSA CEVALLOS AND CINDY KO
   In the first week most undergrads                                                                                           Friends of Caltech alum Ste-       turned out pretty much the way
began moving into the newly reno-                                                                                          ven Song Gao gathered at Beck-        we wanted.”
vated South Houses, a Ricketts gate                                                                                        man Institute yesterday to honor        Friends flew in from as far as
facing the Olive Walk was vandal-                                                                                          their friend and classmate who        northern California, Seattle, and
ized, costing thousands of dollars to                                                                                      passed away in early December.        New York to share an afternoon
repair. According to Housing Direc-                                                                                           About eighty current students      to remember Steve Gao.
tor Tim Chang, some person or per-                                                                                         and alumni bonded over large            Milo Lin, a former classmate,
sons removed the panic bar from the                                                                                        photos capturing fond memories        met Gao as a prefrosh in the
door Tuesday afternoon some time                                                                                           of Gao. The images show the           summer before freshmen year as
between 5:30 and 7:30 pm. The pan-                                                                                         handsome face of a smiling Steve      Axline scholars.
ic bars are necessary for the gates to                                                                                     Gao visiting Arthur Ashe Stadi-         “Honestly, I can only remem-
properly lock.                                                                                                             um and Niagara Falls, enjoying        ber positive things about him.
   An initial estimate for the repair                                                                                      a formal dinner with friends, and     Steve was the nicest and most
was $12,000 to replace the custom-                                                                                         playing video games during his        considerate person that was one
made gate door. However, after                                                                                             recovery from ACL surgery.            of my close friends,” said Lin.
workers from the Lock Shop on cam-                                                                                            Friends remembered Gao as a        “He was generally kind of quiet,
pus evaluated the damage, they were                                                                                        well-liked and admired figure in       but when you got to know him,
able to salvage the door and repair the                                                                                    Lloyd House and for his compas-       he was kind of funny, and very
panic bar Friday morning using ma-                                                                                         sion and kindness.                    warm.”
terials totaling $2050 and labor sum-                                                                                         “He was always patient, very         When choosing a location
ming $1350.                                                                                                                kind, always helpful and looking      for the memorial, Peek decided
   “This gate is expensive because                                                                                         out for other people,” said Derek     on Beckman Institute because
it was custom-made for the South                                                                                           Chang, friend and former room-        “Steve played a lot of Ultimate
Houses. We wanted something that                                                                                           mate.                                 Frisbee on Broad lawn.”
matched the décor and style [of the                                                                                           Gao passed away in early             Gao was known to be so fond
buildings] and that fitted the door-                                                                                        December while attending his          of Ultimate Frisbee that even
way,” said Chang.                                                                                                          first year of graduate school at       a torn ACL in his junior year
   In addition to the cost of fixing the                                                                                    Stanford in biomechanical engi-       couldnʼt keep him away from the
gate, security was forced to guard the                                                                                     neering. His two roommates at         disc.
unlocked gate between 5pm and 8am,        The locking mechanism of this gate, a newly installed entrance to                Stanford, Derek Chang and Akil          “He busted his knee several
resulting in $1870 of additional costs.   Ricketts and Blacker hovses, was disabled on Jan. 2                              Srinivasan, were friends of his       times, and each time heʼd keep
The Stewardship Committee has yet                                                                                          from Lloyd House, and all were        playing,” said Srinivasan.
to decide who will be responsible for     parked themselves [in a house] over   vent the door from locking,” said          also members of the recent class        Gao was recognized in Lloyd
covering the costs that totaled $5270.    the weekend. This past summer we      Montuori. “Perhaps the obvious mo-         of Caltech graduates.                 House for being an excellent
   Chang believes students most like-     had a registered sex offender who     tivation is not the correct one. Thereʼs
ly removed the panic bar from frus-       was found in the houses. We want to   just so much that we donʼt know in
tration at having to use an ID card to    protect our students… the studentsʼ   this situation.”
enter, but no one has come forward        property… [and] Caltechʼs prop-          Despite the vandalism, Chang
yet to claim responsibility.              erty.”                                says that no other major damage has
   “A lot of students donʼt understand       However, Interhouse Chair Craig    occurred since the undergraduates
why the permanent security is there       Montuori believes that the bar may    moved into the South Houses.
in the first place… since the gates        have been removed for other reasons      “There are some small incidents of
werenʼt there [before the renova-         than simply to save students time     graffiti that have happened, but be-
tion],” said Chang. “We have had          when entering the South Houses:       yond that, there hasnʼt been much,”
number of incidents where we had to          “The removal was done in such      said Chang. “With the exception of
remove a homeless person who had          a crude manner, and there were        this one thing, there hasnʼt been any-
                                          other, simpler methods to pre-        thing big.”

Men’s Basketball Wins NCAA Game
81-52 triumph over Bard (NY) ends
streaks of 59 losses, 207 NCAA losses                                                                                      Gao, on a visit to Niagara Falls in the summer before his senior
                                                                                                                           year at Caltech.
                                                                                                                             Since Stanford roommates            athlete in all sports, not just Ulti-
                                                                                                                           Srinivasan and Chang had the          mate Frisbee.
                                                                                                                           difficult task of individually call-     “Ping-pong—Steve Gao loved
                                                                                                                           ing and informing friends and         ping-pong. I would play with
                                                                                                                           classmates about Gao, alumni          him for four hours at a time, lit-
                                                                                                                           Martin Peek and James Yoon of-        erally like a machine,” said Der-
                                                                                                                           fered to take charge of organiz-      ek Chang.
                                                                                                                           ing the event. From before win-         A stellar student and efficient
                                                                                                                           ter vacation, Peek and Yoon were      time manager, Gao double-ma-
                                                                                                                           in contact with Associate Dean        jored in mechanical engineering
                                                                                                                           Barbara Green to discuss arrang-      and business, economics, and
                                                                                                                           ing the memorial.                     management (BEM). Even more
                                                                                                                             “Caltech really helped us out a     impressively, Gao was notorious
                                                                                                                           lot in organizing the memorial,”      for being no less than one week
                                                                                                                           said Yoon. “Steve was a really        ahead of schedule in all of his
                                                                                                                           great friend. The least we could      class work.
                                                                                                                           do was put this together, and           Said Kim Poppendorf, class-
                                                                                                                           when we had that in mind, it was      mate, “Steve worked ahead in his
                                                                                                                           really easy.”                         classes when he knew he was go-
                                                                                                                             Said Peek, “We wanted it to         ing to have knee surgery. He was
                                                                                                                           be low-key and let people just        out on codeine for three weeks,
 Full story of Techʼs triumph on page 6                                                                                    get together and chat about what
                                                                                                                           they remembered about him. It         Continued on page 5

                                                                        In This Issue                                                        Womenʼs basketball five points
                  SFL open 24/7
                                                              You can fly, you can fly! Now without pixie dust Page 4                                  shy of win
                         Page 3                               May your Wiikends be full of Wii               Page 4
                                                              Olive Oil - not just for Popeye                Page 5                                               Page 7
2            THE CALIFORNIA TECH                                                EDITORIAL                                                     JANUARY 8, 2007

The Tech Office Vandalized, Many Back-Issues Unsalvageable
                                       ered to their appropriate campus      to provide these back-issues.          summer vacation. By the time we                              ers who request them by email
     BY: JON SENN                      locations, they were haphazardly         After this act of vandalism, all    received our replacement printer,                            ( Addition-
                                       strewn about, as shown in the be-     of our copies of issue nine are        our distribution team had eight                              ally, PDF copies of The Tech are
   On behalf of the entire staff       low photograph.                       entirely missing, and our supply       weeks of work to accomplish, and                             available on our website at tech.
of The Tech, I apologize to our           Our subscribers who paid be-       of issue ten was relocated outside     they were unable to distribute all                  The PDF copies are
readers. Due to an act of vandal-      fore the printing of our Sept. 22     and rained upon before our team        4000 copies of each issue before                             - for now - only available from
ism which occurred over winter         issue have received mailed copies     retrieved it. In the coming week       finals. They returned to our office                            Caltech IP addresses, but we can
break, we will be unable to pro-       of these eight issues, as have the    we will decide on a course of ac-      at the start of winter break to fin-                          supply them by email to our sub-
vide back-issues to many of our        remainder of our on-campus and        tion regarding those last two is-      ish the job, ultimately to discover                          scribers.
on-campus subscribers.                 JPL subscribers.                      sues.                                  the mess displayed below.
   Approximately 1000 subscrip-           Those subscribers who paid af-        The reason that issues one             We sincerely apologize to all
tions of our first eight issues of      ter the beginning of this academic    through eight had not been dis-        our readers who are missing
the year were collated, addressed,
and bound by our distribution
team, but before they were deliv-
                                       year have yet to receive these
                                       issues; however, we hope to sal-
                                       vage enough copies from our pile
                                                                             tributed earlier in the year is that
                                                                             our mailing label printer was bro-
                                                                             ken when we returned from our
                                                                                                                    these issues, and will do our best
                                                                                                                    to supply a limited number of
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                                                      ASCIT MINUTES                                                                                                              Photos $5
 ASCIT Board of Directors              ries for the Big T and the little t   CIT, which means that $750 more           6. Womenʼs Center Director
 Minutes from the Side Room in
                                       have been given out. For the Big
                                       T, the business manager handles
                                                                             is needed. Todd motioned to grant
                                                                             up to $4000 for Interhouse, and
                                                                                                                    Search Committee
                                                                                                                       * Miriam Feldblum asked the
                                                                                                                                                                                 The California Tech
                                                                                                                                                                                     Caltech 40-58, Pasadena, CA 91125
 Wednesday, January 03, 2007           salaries distribution. The salaries   if more money is needed as the         BoD to appoint an undergraduate                                advertising e-mail:
                                       for Totem and Donut Dev Team          party date approaches, Gonzo can       representative to sit on the search                               editorial e-mail:
  Present Officers: Todd Gin-           have not been given out yet.          ask for more. Vote: Up to $4,000       committee for a new Director of                                VOLUME CVIII, NUMBER 11
grich, Jean Sun, Chris Gonzales,          * The BoD will determine bo-       from the ASCIT budget is granted       the Womenʼs Center. Vickie sug-
Vickie Pon, Jon Senn, Nate Don-        nuses ($1850 total) at the next       for the Interhouse party on Jan. 13    gested to email all the undergrads                                          David Chen
nellan, Craig Montuori, Caleb          meeting when we go over the           (4Y,0N,3A).                            and ask for someone who is in-                                           Jonathan Malmaud
Ng                                     budget in detail.                        * Last night, an outer gate of      terested, which she will do this                                           Jonathan Senn
  Guest: Eric Johlin, John Shen                                              the South Houses closest to Rick-      week. An undergrad rep will be
                                          3. Elections                       etts facing the Olive Walk was         appointed by next week.                                                      Chris Yu
   1. Funding Requests                    * Elections are coming up!         damaged. Preliminary estimates                                                                                  Business Manager
   * Eric asked for $75 for the Box-      * Todd needs to appoint an         of repairs is between $10-12K.           7. Happy Hour tonight, Jan. 3!                                           Chandra Barnett
ing Club for a boxing lesson ses-      Elections Chair. Since Zach Hig-      Craig and Gonzo will be the main         * Gonzo announced that there                                               Circulation
sion this weekend. The $75 would       bee helped the Elections Chair        liaisons with Housing for this is-     will be an ASCIT Happy Hour                                               Dr. Gary Libman
pay the instructor. Eric estimates     during the elections last year, he    sue and whether it will affect In-     from 10PM-2AM in the RF court-                                                 Advisor
about 10-15 ASCIT members to           is the prime candidate. Todd will     terhouse among other things.           yard tonight, Jan. 3!
attend. Vote: $75 for the Boxing       appoint an Elections Chair by            * Gonzo explained that there                                                                                   Matt Glassman
Club approved (5Y,0N,2A).              next week.                            are 2 different alcohol policies at       8. BoC Report                                                         Photography Editor
   * John from Out of Context             * The ASCIT President and          the moment. He will keep the BoD          * Jean said that by elections,                                        Andrea Dubin
requested money for a free con-        Vice President/BoC Chair elec-        updated with what this means for       she needs to write up a 300+ page                              Student Government Correspondent
cert next Wed., Jan. 10, in Dab-       tion sign-ups go up next Wed.,        the final Interhouse party alcohol      report for the BoC. She asked the                                      Anna Hiszpanski
ney Gardens. Yale Shades, a mi-        Jan. 10!                              policy.                                BoD if any of them would be in-                                   Administration Correspondent
nority a cappella group, will be                                                                                    terested in helping her with data                                       Mark Eichenlaub
performing. John is asking for           4. Interhovse Party! Jan. 13          5. Red Cross Blood Battle vs.        during the rest of the week. Be-                                    Head Sports Correspondent
funding from a variety of places,        * Craig asked the BoD to ap-        MIT                                    cause all the BoD members are                                           Matt Glassman
and has asked ASCIT for $250.          prove $750 additional funding for       * The Red Cross will be host-        too busy, she will try to recruit                                       Dipayan Ghosh
Vote: $250 granted to OoC for          Interhouse which will cover DJ        ing a “Blood Battle” between           help for the report.                                           Alumni Association Correspondents
hosting the Yale Shades concert        costs.                                MIT and Caltech. A trophy will                                                                        HamilTony Falk           Harrison Stein
(6Y,0N,1A).                              * Gonzo and Todd explained          be awarded to the school who             Welcome back!                                                  Humorist                The Critic
                                       that the DJ costs are dealt with      donates the most blood during                                                                                     Chandra Barnett
  2. Budget Update, Salaries, &        by the Houses, and ASCIT deals        a blood drive. Detailed rules are        Vickie Pon                                                               Marissa Cevallos
Bonuses                                with security, etc.                   being drafted by someone at MIT.         ASCIT Secretary                                                          Mark Eichenlaub
                                                                                                                                                                                                Hamilton Falk
  * Jon gave the BoD an update           * Gonzo said that basically, a      The BoD can help with publicity.                                                                                   Matt Glassman
on the ASCIT budget. The sala-         total of $4K is needed from AS-                                                                                                                         Anna Hiszpanski
                                                                                                                                                                                                   Cindy Ko

                         Interhovse 2007
                                                                                                                                                                                              Natalya Kostandova
                                                                                                                                                                                                 Vibha Laljani
                                                                                                                                                                                                 Sonia Tikoo
                                                                                                                                                                                                 Staff Writers

                                                                                                                                                                                  The Tech is published weekly except during

                                                 January 13th
                                                                                                                                                                                 vacation and examination periods by the As-
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           THE CALIFORNIA TECH                                                        NEWS                                                    JANUARY 8, 2007                                3

                                                 The Outside World
                                    riages, for such couples. If the bill                                           It has also testified that the defen-    Defend the Constitution,” demand
 BY: NATALYA KOSTANDOVA is approved by Governor Jon Cor-                    Hussein refused to wear a black
                                                                            hood that traditionally covers the      dants were tortured during their        that the game be pulled back from
                                    zine, New Jersey will become the                                                detention. However, the Libyan          distribution.
Nation                              third state in the U.S. to support
                                                                            face of the condemned person,
                                                                                                                    court acquitted several Libyan of-         The groups argue that the game
                                                                            and carried a copy of the Qurʼan.
                                    civil union, following Vermont            The former Iraqi president was        ficers who were accused of inhu-         promotes intolerance and vio-
Florida and California and Connecticut. The only state                                                              mane treatment.                         lence in the name of religion. The
                                                                            sentenced to death by hanging for
Halt Capital Punishment             that allows for same-sex marriage       his role in the deaths of 148 Iraqis                                            makers of the game, the Left Be-
   The two states independently is Massachusetts.
made decisions to halt capital
                                                                            who died in the Dujail massacre         Science and Technology                  hind Games, Inc., disagree and
                                       Equality groups, such as Equal-      that took place in 1982. The mas-                                               say that the game only encour-
punishment.                         ity New Jersey, are concerned that                                                                                      ages prayer and spiritual welfare.
   U.S. District Judge Jeremy Fo- the legislative decision may not          sacre was a response to a failed        FDA Says Cloned Animals
                                                                            assassination attempt on Hussein.                                                  The plot of the game takes place
gel ruled that Californiaʼs method breach the difference in treatment                                               Safe to Consume                         in the future, after Christians have
of legal injection goes against of same and different-sex couples             Awwad Bandar and Barzan                   The Food and Drug Adminis-
                                                                            Hassan, who are also to be hanged                                               been transported to heaven. The
the Eighth Amendment, banning as it does not recognize same-sex                                                     tration (FDA) declared cloned
                                                                            in relation to the 1982 massacre,                                               players take a role of characters
cruel and unusual punishment. marriage.                                                                             animals to be as safe to eat as
                                                                            were expected to be hung along-                                                 left behind in New York City, and
The state has been under a capi-                                                                                    naturally-produced animals.
                                                                            side Hussein. However, their                                                    set out on a task to recruit an army
tal punishment moratorium since President Gerald Ford Dies                                                              There are some that disagree
                                                                            executions were postponed to                                                    that will fight and defeat the anti-
February.                                                                                                           with the FDA decision, in par-
                                       Americaʼs 38th President,            separate Husseinʼs death from all                                               Christ and his followers.
   The moratorium in Florida was Gerald Ford, died Dec. 26 at the                                                   ticular if there are no labels that
                                                                            others.                                 differentiate the ordinary product
triggered by the execution of An- age of 93. The late president was                                                                                         Caltech Researchers Reveal
gel Nieves Diaz on Dec. 15. It took honored in Washington, D.C. and                                                 from the cloned one.
Diaz 34 minutes to die, during 24 buried in his hometown of Grand           Nurses and Doctor to Face                   Some consumer groups criti-         Dark Matter Structure
of which he remained conscious Rapids, Michigan.                            Death in AIDS Case                      cized the agency for only looking          Richard Massey and Nick
and moving. Usually, condemned                                                 Five Bulgarian nurses and            at fewer than 100 case studies for      Scoville revealed the first three-
                                       Fordʼs body was moved from                                                                                           dimensional look of dark matter
prisoners are unconscious within the Capitol rotunda to the spot            a Palestinian doctor were sen-          short time periods.
three minutes after the injection outside of the chambers of the            tenced to death in Libya for alleg-         While FDA scientists state          structure at the American Astro-
and die within 15 minutes.                                                  edly injecting HIV to more than         that after the cloned animal has        nomical Society conference this
                                    U.S. Senate, after which it was                                                                                         weekend in Seattle, Washington.
   Governor Jeb Bush called for transported to the National Ca-             four hundred children in a Libyan       reached the age of 6 to 18 months,
creation of a committee that will thedral. The procession was met           hospital in 1999. They plan to file      it is indistinguishable from its par-      Massey used gravitational lens-
review the method of capital pun- with a 21-gun salute, U.S. navy           an appeal before the Libyan Su-         ent animal, others argue that there     ing, the distortion of light due
ishment. During the process of re- band, and thousands of people            preme Court.                            may be long-term issues that have       to mass, to infer the presence of
view, that has a final deadline of that lined up the streets of Wash-           The sentence has already caused      not yet been evaluated.                 dark matter in a cross-section of
May 1, 2007, no death warrants ington.                                      much disagreement. Bulgaria, the            Although the final approval of       galaxies that dates back 6.5 bil-
are to be signed in Florida.                                                U.S., and the E.U., among others,       cloned products is still in process,    lion years.
                                       Ford was then flown in to Grand                                                                                          The new map demonstrates that
                                                                            demand that it is repealed. Libya       officials expect the products from
                                    Rapids, where he was buried on                                                                                          dark matter tends to clump over
New Jersey Legislature Wednesday, Jan. 3.                                   and its supporters argue that the       cloned livestock to enter the mar-
                                                                            demands of mostly Western fac-          ket in several months.                  time, which Massey refers to as a
Approves Civil Unions                                                       tions are politically motivated.                                                “cosmic scaffolding” about which
  Following the demand of New         World                                    Fifty of the children have died,     Video Game Causes Con-                  stars and galaxies have formed.
Jersey Supreme Court, which or-                                                                                                                                Dark matter makes up about
                                                                            while the rest received treatment       troversy
dered the state to give same-sex                                                                                                                            one fourth of the mass in the uni-
couples rights equivalent to those    Husseinʼs Execution Takes             from European hospitals.                  The new game, “Left Behind:
                                                                               The defense claims to have evi-                                              verse, while normal “baryonic”
of married couples, NJ Senate         Place                                                                         Eternal Forces,” is currently un-
                                                                                                                                                            matter--like the stars and plan-
                                       On Saturday, Dec. 30, Saddam         dence that the children had been        der attack for promoting religious
and General Assembly voted to                                                                                                                               ets that make up galaxies--only
                                      Hussein was hanged in Qadhi-          affected by the virus before the        violence. Several groups, led by
approve civil unions, but not mar-                                                                                                                          weighs in at about four percent.
                                      miya, Iraq. Prior to the execution,   medical workers arrived to Libya.       the activist faction “Campaign to

Announcements Summer Internship SFL Open 24/7
              Deadlines Approach
                                                                                                                     BY: DONNA TOMLINSON
                                                                                                                                                            Year Anniversary
Perpall Competition Finals on                                                  The Deansʼ Office is accepting
                                                                            proposals for the Monticello Foun-         Beginning with the second
                                                                                                                                                              The library staff cordially in-
                                                                                                                                                            vites the Caltech community to
Wednesday, Spectators Welcome                                               dation and the Robert and Delpha
                                                                            Noland Summer Internships.
                                                                                                                    term , the Sherman Fairchild Li-
                                                                                                                    brary will be open 24/7 to those
                                                                                                                                                            an open house in celebration of
   All students, faculty, and         SURF seminar day in Octo-                Three to five Caltech undergrad-                                              the tenth year anniversary of the
                                                                            uate women (current freshmen,           with valid Caltech ID cards. The        Sherman Fairchild Library to be
staff are invited to attend the       ber advanced to a semi-final                                                  SFL is also increasing the number
final round of the Doris S. Per-      round held in November, and           sophomores and juniors) will be                                                 held on Jan. 12, from 2:00 pm -
                                                                            given an opportunity to participate     of available computer worksta-          4:00 pm in the Sherman Fairchild
pall SURF Speaking Compe-             these seven students became                                                   tions in anticipation of increased
tition on Wednesday, Jan. 10,         the finalists. The prizes will be     in research projects outside the                                                Library.
                                                                            Caltech-JPL community for ten           demand due to the closure of the
between 2:30 and 5 PM in the          $750, first prize; $450, second;                                              Computer Lab in Steele. Other
Beckman Institute Auditorium.         and $300, third.
                                                                            weeks during the summer. Each
                                                                            student will receive a $6,000 sti-      service enhancements in the SFL         Two New ARC
The Student-Faculty Programs             The Student-Faculty Pro-
office extends hearty congrat-        grams office thanks the grad-
                                                                               Applicants are required to iden-
                                                                                                                    are also in the works and will be
                                                                                                                    announced as details are con-           Reps Selected
ulations to the finalists – Evan      uate students, postdoctoral           tify the projects in which they wish    firmed.
Gawlik, Alexander Huth, An-           scholars, alumni, and faculty         to participate. All arrangements           Questions, concerns, and com-             BY: CALEB NG
drew Kositsky, Matthew Lee,           who have helped to judge the          with the principal researcher will      ments about the Steele lab clo-
Diana Lin, Po-Ling Loh, and           first two rounds. The final           be the responsibility of the student.   sure can be directed to Rich Fa-           This week, Avery and Blacker
                                                                               Interested students should iden-     gen (, extension        selected new representatives to the
Arturo Pizano. Individual pre-        round will be judged by a fac-                                                                                        Academics and Research Commit-
sentation times are available at      ulty panel.                           tify a sponsor for their ten-week ex-   2908).
                                                                            perience at a research facility. Ap-                                            tee (ARC). The new Avery repre-
the SURF website,              Robert C. Perpall (BS ʼ52,                                                      Questions about the services       sentative will be freshman Ryan
                                                                            plications should consist of a short    and facilities offered at the Sher-                          MS ʼ56) has long supported the        essay describing the applicantʼs                                                Hamerly, and the new Blacker rep-
   This event is the third round      SURF program. He established                                                  man Fairchild Library can be di-        resentative will be freshman Sunny
                                                                            project, along with two faculty rec-    rected to library staff in person or
in the Perpall speaking com-          the prize in 1996 in memory of        ommendations.                                                                   Chun.
petition. The best speakers           his late wife as an incentive for                                             via email or           Currently, the main project for
— out of the 210 students who         students to prepare excellent           Proposals are due to the Deansʼ       to University Librarian, Kimberly       ARC is to prepare for the Student-
                                                                            Office by Thursday, Feb. 22.             Douglas,          Faculty Conference (SFC), which
presented their research — on         SURF presentations.
                                                                                                                                                            is scheduled for April 5, 2007. Tra-
                                                                                                                                                            ditionally, there are no classes held

   Tired of CDS lunches                                                                                                                                     on the date of the SFC.
                                                                                                                                                               The SFC will feature presenta-
                                                                                                                                                            tions from each of 14 committees
       and dinners?                                                                                                                                         covering each option as well as
                                                                                                                                                            other aspects of undergraduate life,
                                                                                                                                                            including student morale, core cur-
 $2.00 Burger, Fries, and Drink                                                                                                                             riculum, and honor code. Commit-
                                                                                                                                                            tee chairs were selected in October
                                                                                                                                                            and are scheduled to have their
                        EVERYDAY                                                                                                                            second meeting. Contact any com-
                                                                                                                                                            mittee member (listed on the ARC
                for all Caltech students, staff, and faculty                                                                                                 SFC website at
                                                                                                                                                            ~arc/sfc.html) to provide feedback
  Enjoy The Greatest Happy Hours in the Area.                                                                                                               on any of these topics.
                                                                                                                                                               Other projects in the pipeline for
 All Well Drinks, Beer & wine, Monday to Friday                                                                                                             ARC include the 31st Annual AS-
              11am-7pm only $1.99                                                                                                                           CIT Teaching Awards. As before,
                                                                                                                                                            nominations for professors, teach-

Burger Continental
                                                                                                                                                            ing assistants, and research men-
                                                                                                                                                            tors will be open to undergraduates
                                                                                                                                                            during the beginning of the spring
                         535 S. Lake Ave.                                                                                                                      For more information, contact
                             Pasadena                                                                                                                       your ARC Rep, ARC Chair Ca-
                          (626) 792-6634                                                                                                                    leb Ng (,
                                                                                                                                                            or visit the ARC website (donut.
  Always 20% off for all Caltech students, staff, faculty                                                                                           
4             THE CALIFORNIA TECH                                                     FEATURES                                                     JANUARY 8, 2007
Club o’ the Week
Caltech Students Can Learn to Fly with AACIT!

                                                                                                                                                                                                Courtesy of
 BY: RADHIKA MARATHE                      not just the club as part of its fleet
   AACIT or the Aero Association
of California Institute of Technol-
                                          Joining the Club
                                             The course webpage has de-
ogy is a private flying club that          tailed information regarding get-
works for the promotion of gen-           ting a membership to the club.
eral aviation in the Caltech-JPL          The membership is mainly re-
communities. Also known as                stricted to those affiliated with the
the Caltech/JPL Flying Club, it           Caltech/JPL communities (includ-
is based in El Monte, California          ing students, faculty, alumni, em-
with a fleet of seven single-en-           ployee or retiree of Caltech/JPL
gine airplanes. It currently has          or those with immediate family
about 120 members ranging from            members satisfying this require-
beginning students to commercial          ment) but a limited number of
pilots and instructors.                   Associate Member positions are
                                          available for those unaffiliated to
Fleet                                     these communities.
                                             The forms required include
   As part of its fleet, the club
                                          the Member Information Form,
owns a Cessna 152 (2-seater) and
                                          Flight Proficiency Record, Re-
Cessna 172 (4-seater) and leases
                                          lease Form, Voting Proxy and            AACITʼs website explains that the club owns a Cessna 152, a Cessna 172, and leases five others.
five other aircraft including Cess-
                                          Information Release. The initial
na 172, Cessna 182, Piper PA-28                                                   ance and aircraft tie-down costs.
and Piper Archer, each seating
                                          payment consists of a refundable
                                          deposit, an initiation fee (waived      Discounted rates are offered to        Obtaining a Pilotʼs                  items and headset, test fees and
                                                                                                                                                              ground school tuition may cost
four. These are based at El Monte
airport located about five miles
                                          for CIT students) and the first          CIT students to promote general
                                                                                  aviation among the student com-
                                                                                                                         Certificate                           up to $1000 in total.
                                                                                                                                                                 In the area, Glendale Commu-
                                          monthʼs dues. After contacting                                                   After registering to be a full
South of Pasadena.                                                                munity.                                                                     nity College, Mt. San Antonio
                                          the club director for an instructor                                            member, the first flight will have
   Members are allowed to sched-                                                    Initiation fee (waived for CIT                                            College, Orange Coast College
                                          to check over the aircraft or for                                              the student at the controls right
ule and fly aircrafts available 24                                                 students): $40                                                              and FAST aviation provide alter-
                                          training, the new member is ready                                              away with an experienced instruc-
hours a day, seven days a week.                                                     Refundable deposit: $200                                                  natives for ground-schooling.
                                          to take off.                                                                   tor to offer guidance. About 70
Each member carries his/her set                                                     Monthly Dues:                                                                The typical flight training costs
of keys and logs in the flying time                                                                                       to hundred hours of training and
                                                                                    CIT Students (fixed gear only):                                            range from $6000-$9000 and the
at the end of each flight in the fly-
ing log. The flying club provides
                                          Dues and Costs                          $23
                                                                                                                         flying experience are required to
                                                                                                                         get a license from the FAA. The      time required is generally between
                                            Club dues pay for the insur-            CIT Students (all planes): $27                                            a few months to over a year.
insurance for each member and                                                                                            necessary materials and equip-
                                                                                    Inactive members: $10                                                        Interested readers may visit
                                                                                                                         ment such as books, navigation
                                                                                                                                                              the club webpage at http://aacit.

Technology Review
                                                  Wii Wiiview: New Console is a Wiiner
   After waiting in line eight
hours outside BestBuy for my
Wii as PS3 fanboys drove by and
shouted profanities at us (i.e. “I
hope you guys have fun play-

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          Photo courtesy of Nintendo
ing with your Wiis”, “your mom
played with my Wii last night”,
“your console has the same name
as urination although spelled dif-
ferently”, etc., etc.), I played it for
the following two wiiks and was
thoroughly impressed with the
motion-sensing controller.
   After going through a five-sec-
ond calibration phrase, it worked
flawlessly. I tested it with Wii           factured disease by engaging in
Sports and found that my dismal           surgical operations while having
tennis, bowling, golf, baseball,          relations with your nurses (not at
and boxing skills carry over into         the same time) (Trauma Center:
the videogame world (just joking-         Second Opinion).
I 0wn).                                      For the more hard-core gamer,
   I also played through most             there is Disneyʼs Chicken Little:
of Zelda: Twilight Princess and           Ace in Action, Ice Age 2: The
found all the old Zelda staples,          Meltdown, Happy Feet, some
such as the ability to swing and          kind of Spongebob Squarepants
spin the sword by flicking the Wi-         game, Madden NFL 07, and Re-
imote, to be present.                     venge of the Third Reich: Rise of
   There were also new Zelda              Robohitler.
innovations like Princess Zelda              The Wii can also connect to a
being kidnapped by a dark wiz-            wiireless network and perform
ard and something about a “Tri”-          many amazing functions there-
”Force”. Actually its definitely           onto. Through the Wii Virtual
the best Zelda since Ocarina of           Console store, you can spend
Time and may be wiison enough             $5-$8 on a limited selection of
to pick up a Wii.                                                                 The above pair of photos illustrate how the player uses the motion-sensing controller in the Wii Sports
                                          old Nintendo and Genesis games          game included with the console.
   The Wii has a strong set of            from back to the time of the origi-
launch titles. Besides the afore-         nal NES when love was free all
mentioned Wii Sports and Zelda,                                                   erotic YouTube videos on your                                               glow blue it looks pretty cool but
                                          the way to the N64 when Clinton                                                the wiikest graphics of any of the
there is Rayman: Raving Rabbits                                                   television device.                                                          otherwise itʼs just non-glowing
                                          ruled with the steel grip of molten                                            new consoles and canʼt take ad-
in which Rayman, by playing                                                          But perhaps the greatest online                                          plastic.
                                          justice.                                                                       vantage of high-definition TVs.
through a set of minigames like                                                   functionality the Wii brings to                                                However, the pure entertain-
                                             I bought Sonic the Hedgehog                                                 And while it can play GameCube
an arms-only version of Dance                                                     the table is the Forecast Channel.                                          ment of swinging around a remote
                                          for $8 on the Wiiʼs Virtual Con-                                               games since its DVD tray also ac-
Dance Revolution, has to capture                                                  Itʼs a built-in program that allows                                         and the possibility of luring girls
                                          sole and it flooded me with nos-                                                cepts the GameCube minidisks, it
a set of rabbits which are raving.                                                you to see the weather, thus sav-                                           into my room with the promise of
                                          talgic memories back to the first                                               canʼt actually play DVDs.
   Also popular is Super Monkey                                                   ing you from the tedious need to                                            a non-hard-core gaming experi-
                                          time I played Sonic two months                                                   Many Nintendo fans will wi-
Ball: Banana Blitz, in which you                                                  emerge from your dungeon lair                                               ence is enough to ensure the Wii
                                          ago when I downloaded the ROM                                                  imember how game developers
are a monkey in a plastic ball who                                                beneath the wind-swept oceans to                                            will always have a spot on my
                                          and played it on my computer for                                               stopped releasing quality titles
has to blitz bananas by tilting a                                                 see if itʼs raining outside although                                        shelf, along with Apostll Volume
                                          free.                                                                          for the GameCube due to the
platform through angling the Wi-                                                  youʼre not going anywhere any-                                              2, double-chocolate Milano cook-
                                             You can also download the Op-                                               dominance of the XBOX and PS2
imote in a fashion reminiscent of                                                 way. The cool thing is that games                                           ies, and the latest edition of the
                                          era web browser on the Wii and                                                 and worry continues that the Wii
Ch3a.                                                                             like Madden will change the in-                                             California Tech Weekly News-
                                          then cruise the information su-                                                will not lure them back and so
   One of my personal favorites is                                                game environment to reflect the                                              paper, the official ASCIT student
                                          perhighway from the comfort of                                                 leave us with a gameless plastic
a doctor-simulator in which you                                                   real one.                                                                   publication and provider of quali-
                                          your own home. It is actually use-                                             box that sometimes glows blue
play an anime doctor who has to                                                      The Wii is not all spwiing-time                                          ty journalism for over fifty years.
                                          ful since it can play Flash videos                                             when Nintendo e-mails your Wii
annhilate a new terrorist-manu-           so you can enjoy erotic and non-        fun in the sun, however. It has        a new message and when it does
             THE CALIFORNIA TECH                                                 FEATURES                                               JANUARY 8, 2007                                                 5
   Career Corner                                                                                                       Caltech Mentoring Day will be on January 11th
                                                                                                                       at noon at Winnet.

 A Mentor for the New Year                                                                                             The Spring Career Fair will be on Wednesday,
                                                                                                                       January 24th.

                                        toring, tell their stories as pro-   vice, encouragement, and in-        someone to talk about my                                (where students can post their
BY: JONIE WATANABE TSUJI tégés and mentors, and explain                      formation.                          experiences with, and to hear                           resume for MentorNet spon-
   CAREER COUNSELOR      how to get started. If thatʼs not                     The relationship is developed     their experiences in a similar                          sors to review).
                                        incentive enough, we will also       through email. Only a few ex-       situation. It was helpful to un-                          Every Techer, whether they
   January is National Mentor-          provide free pizza and drinks.       clusive universities participate,   derstand things in a larger ca-                         are a frosh, senior, grad stu-
 ing Month. In honor of this               Happy New Year, now make          and Caltech is one of them.         reer context, and just to get a                         dent, or postdoc, should check
 special month, the Career De-          a resolution. Donʼt worry              Caltech has been a part of        sense of how my experiences                             out MentorNet. In addition to
 velopment Center, the Wom-             about losing weight or exercis-      MentorNet since 1998. Some          fit into the normal range of ac-                         mentors in industry, they have
 enʼs Center, and NOGLSTP               ing more (nobody sticks with         of the mentors came from com-       tivities.”                                              mentors in academia for those
 (National Organization of Gay          it anyway, right?). Itʼs time to     panies such as 3M, Hewlett             MentorNet also has oth-                              considering that career path.
 and Lesbian Scientists and             work on career options by get-       Packard, IBM, Intel, Motorola,      er resources aside from the                               For more info, students may
 Technical Professionals) are           ting a mentor.                       and Texas Instruments.              mentor-protégé relationship:                            visit But
 partnering to put on Caltech              And it just got easy. Men-          The majority of participants      a MentorNet E-forum (web-                               donʼt forget --come to Caltech
 Mentoring Day – January                torNet is a great program that       found it quite helpful. In fact,    based discussion groups to                              Mentoring Day – January 11,
 11, 2007 at noon in Winnett            matches students (protégés)          one student stated in his/her       exchange ideas and advice),                             2007 at noon – Winnett Lounge
 Lounge.                                with academic and industry           evaluation – “Mostly, it was        resources (helpful weblinks),                           – free pizza and drinks! So
   Panelists will discuss men-          mentors for one-on-one ad-           really helpful for me to have       as well as a resume database                            join in the fun, resolve to get a
                                                                                                                                                                         mentor this year!

Techers Demonstrate Culinary Interests via Olive Oil

                                                                                                                                                                                                            Photo by Daniel Rowlands
 BY: DANIEL ROWLANDS                    the top.
                                          Most of the olives they col-
                                        lected were consumed by ex-
    Where most students trample
                                        perimenting to learn how to
 the fallen olives that line the
                                        produce the oil, and only a few
 Olive Walk, one creative group
                                        tablespoons were produced--
 of Caltech students decided
                                        enough to taste plain and on a
 that when life gives you olives,
                                        few slices of bread.
 make olive oil.
                                          Of the taste, Roper reported
    At the beginning of first
                                        “We just tasted it plain, it was
 term, sophomores Kristen Ko-
                                        very good indeed.” Making
 zak, Alex Roper, Robbie Xiao,
                                        olive oil wasnʼt the groupʼs
 and Cathy Douglass made use
                                        only venture into cooking with
 of trees on campus to fuel an
                                        Caltech-grown ingredients.
 unusual culinary experiment.
                                          They also collected fall-
    They picked olives, mostly
                                        en acorns from the oak trees
 ripe black ones, though some
                                        along Holliston and repeatedly
 green olives were used as well,
                                        soaked them in boiling water to
 from the small olive trees on
                                        leach out the toxic tannins.
 Holliston near the Fire Station
                                          They then ground the acorns
 and Mods and, by experimenta-
                                        to make flour, from which Rop-
 tion, taught themselves to make
                                        er made pasta and Kozak made
 olive oil.
    In response to concerns about
                                          As well as collecting olives
 pesticides that may have been
                                        and acorns for cooking experi-
 sprayed on the trees, Kozak
                                        ments, the group has also grown
 replied that “The trees did not
                                        a garden of potted vegetables in
 look like they were sprayed,
                                        the backyard of their off-cam-
 so I didnʼt worry about it.”
                                        pus house.
 Delmy Emerson of Buildings
                                          The group has harvested and
 and Grounds did not reply to an
                                        eaten mint, thyme, and basil
 email inquiry about pesticide
                                                                                                                                                Photo by Kristen Kozak

                                        from it, as well as a few snap                                                                                                   Kristen Kozak and Robbie
 use on campus.
                                        peas. However, most of their                                                                                                     Xiao show some of the wild
    In any case, the group did
                                        crops have not yet produced                                                                                                      fruit theyʼve collected around
 wash the olives before press-
                                        anything edible. Theyʼve also                                                                                                    campus (top).
 ing them and separating the oil
                                        collected oranges, persimmons,
 from the olive juices by letting
                                        and other citrus fruits from                                                                                                     At left, is a plate of acorn pasta
 it sit in jars until the oil rose to
                                        trees near campus.                                                                                                               that they prepared.

 Remembering Gao
Continued from page 1                   seemed really natural to want to
                                        put together this collection of
 and he still managed to finish ev-      memories to show his parents
 erything on time.”                     how much his friends at Caltech
    Said Srinivasan, “We have this      loved him.”
 image of Steve that heʼs the clos-
 est to perfection than any of us
 could be.”
    Added classmate Mike Chang,
 “Steve was one of the nicest,
 most gifted—really, in one word,
 phenomenal—people that we
 have ever known.”
    In addition to being a kind
 friend, an avid athlete, and an
 accomplished scholar, Gao was
 also a talented musician.
    “Steve always enjoyed piano,
 especially Chopin. Iʼd get to lis-
 ten to him play because my room
 was near the lounge,” said Eric
 Kelsic, a former classmate.
    Though Sundayʼs memorial
 only lasted a few hours, friends
 plan to create a more permanent
 commemoration for Gao in the
 pages of a scrapbook. Chang
 plans to personally deliver the
 gift to Gaoʼs parents in Syosset,
 New York.
    “Several of us came up with
 the idea for a scrapbook at the
 same time,” said Chang. “It just
6          THE CALIFORNIA TECH                                              SPORTS                                                 JANUARY 8, 2007

Men’s Basketball Team Ends 10-Year NCAA Losing Streak
                                   Among the top scorers in the        Walking off the court at half-    to win.”                             a few hard-fought wins in the
BY: MATTHEW GLASSMAN                                                 time with a lead of seven points
                                   most recent win were sopho-                                             Last yearʼs team, led by cap-      history of the menʼs team, only
   While the Higgs particle re-    more forward Travis Haussler      was definitely not something        tains Jordan Carlson and Day         a handful of Techers, which in-
mains undetected and the in-       with 29 points and sophomore      that happens every game, but        Ivy, got national media cover-       cluded the womenʼs basketball
tricacies of protein folding are   guard Matt Dellatorre with 24     Coach Dow remained serious          age for their efforts to break the   team and President Chameau
still a mystery, last Saturday     points.                           and kept on the men until they      teamʼs SCIAC losing streak,          and his wife Dr. Carmichael,
evening, 15 Techers achieved         “We expected to win a game,     finally pulled away late in the     which spans over 20 years and        were there to see it happen. The
something that seemed almost       but not like this,” said Head     second half.                        has yet to be broken. Despite        players hope that more fans
as difficult. For the first time   Coach Roy Dow, referring to         “When we went to the lock-        a close game against Whittier        will make it out to games as
in just over a decade, the menʼs   the blowout, in an article by     er room, everyone was pretty        that went into overtime, the         they prepare to open the regu-
basketball team pulled off an      the Associated Press. The story   pumped,” said Dellatorre. “But      team was unable to pull off a        lar season against Occidental
NCAA win, defeating Bard           has been picked up by several     overall we were playing kind of     victory.                             on Wednesday.
College from New York, for a       papers and some of the play-      messy. Still, before we knew it,      While the game marks one of
final score of 81-52.              ers were interviewed by a radio   we were up by 15 with less than
                                                                     ten minutes to go.”

                                                                                                                                                                                 Photo by Jonathan Tsai
   Although the score makes        station.
this look like an easy win for       Sophomore guard Han Bin           “Iʼm sure that there are plenty
Caltech, the game wraps up         Man said, “We are excited and     of other good [Caltech] teams
an NCAA losing streak of 207       relieved that it finally hap-     that have never won a game,”
games, which was preceded by       pened. We really wanted to win    said Bin Man. “Itʼs special that
a 1996 victory over Pricipia.      a game sooner or later.”          weʼre the guys that finally got

                                                                                                 Sophomore guard Matt Dellatore goes up for a shot at the alumni
Saturdayʼs win launched the Menʼs Basketball team into the national spotlight, featured above on
                                                                                                 game in this yearʼs preseason. Matt scored 24 points in the Beaversʼ
CNN.comʼs frontpage
                                                                                                 win on Saturday

                                                                                                  � In Soviet Russia, girl gets you! �

                                                                                                  � Comrades, come to the South Hovse Reopening Party! �
            THE CALIFORNIA TECH                                                         SPORTS                                                   JANUARY 8, 2007                              7

NFL Playoffs                              Bill Parcellsʼ decision to keep
                                                                                Woman’s B-Ball Edged Out 85-80                                                       tain Lindsay King. “Espe-
BY: HAMILTONY FALK                       now starting quarterback Tony          BY: NATALYA KOSTANDOVA                                                               cially after the final buzzer
   As I watched the Philadelphia         Romo as the holder of field goals                                                                                            when everyone stood up
                                         and extra points will hurt them,          It is not a secret that Caltech                                                   and cheered for us - it was
Eagles finish off the New York                                                   is not the best place for athletics.
Giants on Sunday night I remem-          as a bad hold on the game win-                                                                                              just a really good feeling.”
                                         ning field goal will cause T.O. to      Alright, so it is actually pretty                                                       Alex Krikorian, a soph-
bered the good old days when                                                    bad. Wins are rare and unex-
my NFL playoff column was the            call a press conference and reveal                                                                                          omore, shared the ex-
                                         that he has decided to cut Romo        pected, yet this week womenʼs                                                        citement of watching the
hottest item off the presses with                                               basketball team came very close.
brilliant insight and a correct Su-      and fire Parcells and owner Jerry                                                                                            game. “This was the most
                                         Jones.                                 In an incredibly intense and close                                                   exciting basketball game
per Bowl prediction[1]. Unfortu-                                                game, the Lady Beavers lost 80-
nately for my readers who made              The final wildcard weekend                                                                                                Iʼve ever seen,” she said.
                                         game will pit the New York Gi-         85 to the Southwestern College                                                       “Now Iʼm going to go to
legal wagers (through a reputable                                               of Arizona, setting a series of new
Nevada Casino, not some unlaw-           ants against the Philadelphia                                                                                               every single game. It is the
                                         Eagles in an NFC East division         records and showing how com-                                                         nicest way for me to be at
ful bet with friends or coworkers)                                              petitive they can be.
the first issue of The Tech for the       rivalry that will be the last NFL                                                                                           Caltech – watch my friends
                                         game played by Tiki Barber and            With this game, the women set                                                     play basketball.”
term wonʼt be in the hands of the                                               the record for most points scored
common man until after the Wild-         will also feature Tiki as the Fox                                                                                              While the intensity of
                                         color commentator for the second       in a game to 80, as compared to                                                      the game rose as the game
card round of the playoffs.                                                     the previous record of 71. Rene
   Luckily I sealed my predictions       half. Giants QB Eli Manning[4]                                                                                              went on, a different type of
                                         will live up to his billing as “not    Davis, a junior and co-captain of                                                    a showdown took place on
in a time capsule (I call it “e-                                                the team, scored 13 field goals
mail”) so the editors could print        as bad as Rex Grossman” while                                                                                               the court during the half-
                                         Eagles safety Brian Dawkins will       and Lisa Yee, a freshman, made                                                       time. Two spectators, Cev-
an accurate prediction unbiased                                                 12 free throws, both setting new
by the actual events of the games.       use his dark powers to get Tom                                                                                              allos and Travis Haussler,
                                         Coughlin fired, and eventually a        records in the respective catego-                                                    both sophomores, were
In addition, Iʼll predict the win-                                              ries. The game was also the first
ners of the Divisional playoff           David Akers field goal will give                                                                                             chosen to participate
                                         Philadelphia a win to keep their       in which there were four players                                                     in a free-throw contest.
round and give everyone a few                                                   who scored double digits points.
keys to each game.                       playoff run alive.                                                                                                          Haussler, who is on the
                                            Next week the San Diego Char-       Davis scored 28, Yee – 22, ju-                                                       menʼs basketball team,
   [Editors: Please make people                                                 nior and co-captain Lindsay King
think this was sent before Sat-          gers will defeat the New England                                                                                            won the contest while
                                         Patriots by a score of 38-7 despite    – 16, and junior Amanda Bozov-         Lisa Yee takes the shot.                      shooting with his left hand,
urday at noon] [Editorial note:                                                 ich - 10.
OK]                                      an 11/26 with two interceptions                                                                                      yet was unable to accept the $25
                                                                                   Coming so close to victory          coming down to just a few spots
   My first bold prediction will be       and no touchdowns passing day                                                                                        gift certificate to the bookstore
                                                                                filled the air with both excitement     where we didnʼt play as smart as
that all of the higher seeds will        by Phillip Rivers as NFL MVP                                                                                         because of NCAA regulations.
                                                                                and a bit of sadness. “I was kind      we could. I think we are starting
win their games, with Indianapo-         LaDainian Tomlinson rushes for                                                                                       Cevallos received the prize as a
                                                                                of disappointed that we couldnʼt       to realize that we are good enough
lis beating Kansas City 23-8, New        3 TDs, throws two TDs (includ-                                                                                       runner-up.
                                                                                get over the hump. But we broke        now that every play counts, that
England blowing out the New              ing one to himself), intercepts two                                                                                     The game was filmed by the
                                                                                several records, which showed          every shot needs to be the best
York Jets 37-16, Seattle Squeak-         passes, sacks Tom Brady twice                                                                                        Hallmark channel for an upcom-
                                                                                that we are able to play well.         one we can get.”
ing out a win over Dallas 21-20          and recovers a fumble which he                                                                                       ing documentary. The program
                                                                                Even though we didnʼt get them            The game was exciting not only
and Philadelphia beating the Gi-         returns for a touchdown.                                                                                             is designed as a show on inspi-
                                                                                this time, weʼll get them next         for the players, but for the fans as
ants 23-20 in a real nail biter.            The Baltimore Ravens will beat                                                                                    rational women. It will contain a
                                                                                time,” said Yee.                       well. “People got increasingly
   The Colts terrible[2] run de-         the Indianapolis Colts with a pass-                                                                                  section on the Techʼs women bas-
                                                                                   Head Coach of the team, San-        pumped up as the margin [in the
fense has been cited all week as         able offensive day by shutting out                                                                                   ketball team and highlight some
                                                                                dra Marbut, wrote in an e-mail,        score] got smaller. There were
a reason the Kansas City Chiefs          the Colts and forcing Peyton Man-                                                                                    of the issues and obstacles that
                                                                                “It was a mixed bag of emotions.       lots of Beaver cheers,” said Ma-
have a chance to beat Indy, de-          ning into four turnovers for a final                                                                                  the players here face.
                                                                                We know that we made mistakes          rissa Cevallos, a sophomore who
spite Peyton Manning and the             score of 24-0. After the game                                                                                           The women will face Occiden-
                                                                                we should not have made, and           attended the game.
Coltʼs high powered offense.             linebacker Ray Lewis5 will reveal                                                                                    tal College on Thursday in their
                                                                                did some dumb stuff. But we ap-           The cheers seemed to fall onto
What everyone will be surprised          that intensive study of Manningʼs                                                                                    first conference game. Their first
                                                                                preciate that we didnʼt make as        receptive ears. “All the fans that
by is Herm Edwards bold deci-            11 different commercials allowed                                                                                     home game will take place at
                                                                                many mistakes as we have during        came and supported us made us
sion to lose the time of possession      them to predict what the all-pro                                                                                     Caltech on Saturday at 5:00 PM.
                                                                                other games, and that really it was    feel so much better,” said co-cap-
battle by a two to one margin and        quarterback would do throughout
not bother with first downs in the        the game.
first half, keeping the Chiefs in a          The Seattle Seahawks will
hole despite three Manning inter-        nearly upset the Chicago Bears
ceptions.                                only to lose in over time 24-21.
   Manning will make up for his          The only offensive score of the
interceptions by completing al-          day will be the Bears overtime
most all of the rest of his passes       field goal, as Rex Grossman
(too his own players) and mak-           throws four interceptions, two
ing a really hilarious commercial.       returned for touchdowns, and has
Joseph “Live and Let” Addai will         one fumble run into the end zone
also have a large impact but wonʼt       as well. The Bears kick return
have any commercials in which a          man Devin Hester will score one
coach has been fired for teaching         a kickoff return, linebacker Brian
players about rock and roll. After       Urlacher will score on a fumble
the game everyone will agree that        recovery and the Seahawks will
the old saying “Too many Chiefs          fumble another ball into the end
and not enough Indians makes for         zone to allow the bears a defen-
a team that canʼt play well on the       sive score after former Chicago
road” is truer than ever.                Coach Mike Ditka tells Matt Has-
   The Patriots will beat the Jets       selbeck that “the bears want the
to win the most talent free NFL          ball and theyʼre going to score”
game since the Lions and/or Ari-         while giving him a very intimi-
zona won a playoff game[3] but           dating look.
the big story will be that not only
will New England coach Bill                 (Footnotes)
Belichick approach his former               1 In case youʼve forgotten I
coordinator and current Jets coach       picked KFC to win the Super
Eric Mangini after the game, he          Bowl, using the logic from one of
will give him a big hug and then         my sources that reasoned “AFC?
quickly walk away.                       NFC? What about KFC?”
   Belichick will also give one of          2 I mean, awful, really bad, just
his trademark shoves to a cam-           horrific. It just isnʼt very good at
era man in his urgency to reach          all.
Mangini, but this will be deemed            3 The Lions beat the New York
a game changing play. During             Knicks in 1967 and the Cardinals
the actual game the only notable         won by forfeit in 1743 when the
events will be Tom Bradyʼs every         Dallas Cowboys failed to show
studly action, including a rough-        up for the game, thinking the an-
ing the passer penalty called after      nouncement that they would be
Brady claimed a Jets linebacker          playing the Cardinals was a prac-
game him “a really nasty look.”          tical joke.
   The Seattle win over Dallas will         4 Eli came into the game tied
come in a poorly played game by          with Ricky Manning Jr. for fourth
both teams, termed “competitive”         best Quarterback in the league,
by Al Michaels and “boom, look           after his brother Peyton, his fa-
at that hit right there, thatʼs what I   ther Archie and Carolina QB Jake
call a hit” by John Madden. After        Delhomme, but due to a medio-
seemingly locking up the game            cre performance will fall behind
the Dallas Cowboys will fumble           Ricky by the second quarter.
out of the end zone for a safety,           5 Who was never convicted of
give up a their first long drive          stabbing two people in a bar in
of the game to go down by one            Atlanta, so stop saying he was or
point.                                   heʼll stab you!
   This is where the biggest
coaching mistake of the season,                                                                  Puzzle courtesy of
8          THE CALIFORNIA TECH                              HUMOR                               JANUARY 8, 2007
PHD Comics byJorge Cham                                                        XKCD Comics by Randall Munroe

    SSEL and School on Wheels would like to thank       The California Tech
    the following Caltech volunteers for their volun-        Caltech 40-58
    teering during the fall ʻ06 term:                     Pasadena, CA 91125
        Adam Craig (89 min)
        Micha Fireman (40 min)
        Misha Imtiaz (60 min)
        Morteza Mayhari (90 min)
        Mikita Panasenko (42 min)
        Laura Panattoni (45 min)
        Xin Xu (90 min)
        David Ye (60 min)

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