Docstoc

Beer Quotes

Document Sample
Beer Quotes Powered By Docstoc
					1. “For those who believe in God, most of the big questions are answered.
   But for those of us who can't readily accept the God formula, the big
   answers don't remain stone-written. We adjust to new conditions and
   discoveries. We are pliable. Love need not be a command or faith a
   dictum. I am my own God. We are here to unlearn the teachings of the
   church, state, and our educational system. We are here to drink beer. We
   are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so
   well that Death will tremble to take us.”

2. “Women! Can't live with them...pass the beer nuts.” Norm (Cheers)

3. Woody: “How would a beer feel, Mr. Peterson?“
   Norm: “Pretty nervous if I was in the room.” Norm from 'Cheers'

4. “I value kindness to human beings first of all, and kindness to animals. I
   don't respect the law; I have a total irreverence for anything connected
   with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger,
   the food cheaper, and old men and women warmer in the winter, and
   happier in the summer.” Brendan Behan Irish author & dramatist

5. “All right, brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's just get
   me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.” Matt
   Groening, The Simpsons

6. “Religions change; beer and wine remain.” Hervey Allen

7. “Cover a war in a place where you can't drink beer or talk to a woman?
   Hell no!" Hunter S. Thompson

8. “Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to
   keep your mouth shut.” Ernest Hemingway (1899 - 1961)

9. “Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons
   that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.”
   Dave Barry (1947 - ), "The Taming of the Screw"

10. “You can't be a Real Country unless you have a BEER and an airline -- it
    helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons,
    but at the very least you need a BEER." Frank Zappa

11. "Beauty is in the eye of the Beer holder!" Kinky Friedman

12. "I usually need a can of beer to prime me." Norman Mailer

13. "I've only been in love with a beer bottle and a mirror." Sid Vicious

14. "Some people wanted champagne and caviar when they should have had
    beer and hot dogs." Dwight D. Eisenhower
15. "In my opinion, most of the great men of the past were only there for the
    beer --the wealth, prestige and grandeur that went with the power." J. P.
    Taylor

16. "I'm an old-fashioned guy. I want to be an old man with a beer belly
    sitting on a porch, looking at a lake or something." Johnny Depp

17. “A guy is a lump like a doughnut. So, first you gotta get rid of all the stuff
    his mom did to him. And then you gotta get rid of all that macho crap that
    they pick up from beer commercials. And then there's my personal
    favorite, the male ego.” Roseanne Barr

18. “Beer is the Danish national drink, and the Danish national weakness is
    another beer.” Clementine Paddleford (1900 - 1967) US journalist, editor - In
    NY "Herald Tribune

19. “Men are nicotine soaked, beer besmirched, whiskey greased, red-eyed
    devils.” Carry Nation (1846 - 1911) US social reformer

20. “Beer! O Hodgson, Guinness, Allsop, Bass! Names that should be on every
    infant's tongue!” C. S. Calverley (1831 - 1884) English poet, porodist, classical
    scholar, lawyer

21. “They who drink beer will think beer.” Washington Irving

22. “A Balanced Person has a Beer in each hand. Sometimes when I reflect
    back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and
    think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams.
    If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams
    would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer
    and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
    Jack Handy

23. “I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
    morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.” Frank Sinatra

24. “An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with
    the fools he must come in contact with every day.” Ernest Hemingway

25. “A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank
    her.” W.C. Fields

26. “When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” Henny
    Youngman

27. “24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?” Stephen Wright
28. “When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When
    we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to
    heaven. Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!” George Bernard Shaw

29. “He was a wise man who invented beer.” Plato

30. “Work is the curse of the drinking class.” Oscar Wilde

31. “The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.”
    Humphrey Bogart

32. “A hangover is the wrath of grapes.” Slogan on a T-Shirt

33. “Abstainer: a weak person who yields to the temptation of denying
    himself a pleasure.” Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary

34. “Teaching has ruined more American novelists than drink.” Gore Vidal

35. “Fermentation may have been a greater discovery than fire.” David Rains
    Wallace

36. “When things go wrong and will not come right, Though you do the best
    you can, When life looks black as the hour of night – A PINT OF PLAIN IS
    YOUR ONLY MAN.
    When money's tight and hard to get And your horse is an also-ran, When
    all you have is a heap of debt - A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY MAN.
    When health is bad and your heart feels strange, And your face is pale and
    wan, When doctors say you need a change, A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR
    ONLY MAN.
    When food is scarce and your larder bare And no rashers grease your pan,
    When hunger grows as your meals are rare - A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR
    ONLY MAN.
    In time of trouble and lousy strife, You have still got a darlint plan You
    still can turn to a brighter life - A PINT OF PLAIN IS YOUR ONLY
    MAN.” Flann O'Brien, "At Swim Two Birds"

37. “All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer, and here are we
    drinking Barry Manilow.” Dave Barry

38. Woody: “Little early in the day for a beer, isn't it, Norm?”
    Norm: “So float a corn flake in it.” Norm

39. “To drink without thirst and to make love all the time, madam, it is only
    these which distinguish us from the other beasts.” Beaumarchais

40. “A good local pub has much in common with a church, except that a pub
    is warmer, and there's more conversation.” William Blake
41. “Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy's piggy bank,
    and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait
    a minute, lemme count and make sure... nope, not even close.” Homer
    Simpson

42. “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” Benjamin
    Franklin

43. “Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.” Kaiser
    Wilhelm

44. “I drink to make other people interesting.” George Jean Nathan

45. “Beer makes you sick when you're well. Beer when you're sick makes you
    well.” By way of Wayne's Dad

46. “If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us
    stomachs.” David Daye

47. “There is nothing for a case of nerves like a case of beer.” Joan Goldstein

48. “To alcohol! The cause of - and solution to - all of life's problems.” Homer J.
    Simpson

49. “If you drink like a fish, don't drive: swim.” Joe E. Lewis

50. “Marriage is based on the theory that when a man discovers a particular
    brand of beer exactly to his taste he should at once throw up his job and
    go to work in a brewery.” H. L. Mencken

51. “Adhere to Schweinheitsgebot: Don't put anything in your beer that a pig
    wouldn't eat.” Attributed to David Geary

52. “Beer: Helping ugly people have sex since 1562.” W.C. Fields

53. “To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a support group: salvation in a can!” Leo
    Durocher

54. “We are here to drink beer ... and live our lives so well that Death will
    tremble to take us.” Charles Bukowski

55. “I cook with beer, sometimes I even add it to the food.” Hannu

56. "Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?" "Oh, alright, but stop me at one. No,
    make that one-thirty." Norm

57. “It is my design to die in the brew-house; let ale be placed to my mouth
    when I am expiring, that when the choirs of angels come, they may say,
    "Be God propitious to this drinker." Saint Columbanus
58. “Filled with mingled cream and amber; I will drain that glass again. Most
    peculiar visions clamber through the chamber of my brain. Quaintest
    thoughts, queerest fancies, come to life, and fade away. What care I how
    time advances? I am drinking ale today.” Edgar Allan Poe, "Lines On Ale

59. “A quart of ale is a dish for a king.” Shakespeare, "A Winter's Tale"

60. “Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast
    as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and
    weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good
    for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole
    group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In
    much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the
    slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain
    cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In
    this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells,
    making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you
    always feel smarter after a few beers.” Cliff to Norm on 'Cheers'

61. "Can I draw you a beer, Norm?" "No, I know what they look like. Just
    pour me one." Norm

62. "Hey, Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you." "I know, and if she
    calls, I'm not here." Norm

63. “Beer will always have a definite role in the diet of an individual and can
    be considered a cog in the wheel of nutritional foods.” Bruce Carlton

64. “Malt does more than Milton can to justify God's ways to man.” AE
    Houseman, "A Shropshire Lad"

65. “Fermentation and civilization are inseparable.” John Ciardi

66. “Everybody believes in something. I believe I’ll have another beer.”

67. “Everybody believes in something. I believe in beer.” Silverton Brewery

68. “Avoid heart attacks. Drink beer.” Main Street Brewery

69. “A fool is always a fool. A drunkard sobers up.” Main Street Brewery

70. “Save the Earth. It’s the only planet with beer.” Pagosa Brewing

71. “Beer is the answer… but I can’t remember the question.” Pagosa Brewing

72. "There is an ancient Celtic axiom that says 'Good people drink good beer.'
    Which is true, then as now. Just look around you in any public bar-room,
   and you will quickly see: Bad People drink bad beer. Think about it."
   Hunter S Thompson

73. “I am a firm believer in people. If given the truth, they can be depended
    upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring then the real
    facts, and beer.” Abraham Lincoln

74. “Do not cease to drink beer, to eat, to intoxicate thyself, to make love, and
    to celebrate the good days” Egyptian proverb

75. “Oh, lager beer! It makes good cheer, And proves the poor man's worth; It
    cools the body through and through, and regulates the health."! Anonymous

76. "Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is
    beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the
    wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."! Dave Barry
77. "Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and
    oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital
    ingredient in beer."! Dave Barry
78. "The letters in 'Brace Beemer' can be arranged to spell 'Embrace Beer.'"!
    Dave Barry, referring to the actor who played the Lone Ranger on radio
79. "People who drink light 'beer' don't like the taste of beer; they just like to
    pee a lot."! Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
80. "If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes
    beer shoot out your nose."! Deep Thought, Jack Handy
81. "You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on."! Dean
    Martin
82. "Beer: So much more than just a breakfast drink."! Whitstran Brewery sign
83. “Drinking beer doesn't make you fat, It makes you lean.... Against bars,
    tables, chairs, and poles.”
84. “Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.”
    Frank Sinatra
85. “You can never buy beer, you just rent it.” Archie Bunker
86. “Life is too short to drink cheap beer”
87. “I've always thought why no one has made a women's perfume to smell
    like beer. I know that would turn me on.” Nate Sampson
88. "May your glass be ever full. May the roof over your head be always
    strong. And may you be in heaven half an hour before the devil knows
    you're dead."! Old Irish Toast
89. “Because one doesn't solve the world's problems over white wine." Jack
    Kerouac
 90. "If beer and women aren't the answer, then you're asking the wrong
     questions." Anonymous
 91. “A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it's better to be
     thoroughly sure.” Czech proverb
 92. “You can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning!” Celia Rivenbark
 93. “A woman is a lot like a beer, they smell good, they look good, and you’d
     step over your own mother to get one.” Homer Simpson
 94. “A mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with Beer!” Ancient Egyptian
     Wisdom 2000 BC
 95. “Drink is the feast of reason and the flow of soul.” Alexander Pope
 96. “Never refuse to do kindness unless the act would work great injury to
     yourself, and never refuse to take a drink… under any circumstances.“
     Mark Twain
 97. “Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser” – Professor Irwin Corey
 98. “Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer.”
     Al Bundy (Ed O’Neill)
 99. “She came onto him like a slow movin’ cold front – His beer was warmer
     than the look in her eyes.” John Hiatt
100. "Beer is not a good cocktail-party drink, especially in a home where you
     don't know where the bathroom is." Billy Carter
101. “My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks
     right out of the bottle." Henny Youngman
102. “Draft beer, not people!" Sixties peace slogan
103. “This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the Lord intended a
     more divine means of consumption... Beer!"! Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves,
     Friar Tuck
104. "For we could not now take time for further search (to land our ship), our
     victuals being much spent, especially our beer."! from the log of THE
     MAYFLOWER
105. “Well I woke up this mornin' and I got myself a beer."! Jim Morrison (The
     Doors)
106. "Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer."! Henry
     Lawson
107. “Whiskey's too rough, Champagne costs too much, Vodka puts my mouth
     in gear. I hope this refrain, Will help me explain, As a matter of fact, I like
     beer." Tom T. Hall
108. “We brewers don’t make beer, we just get all the ingredients together and
     the beer makes itself." Fritz Maytag, President Anchor Brewing
109. "Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer."
     Frederick the Great
110. "It is disgusting to note the increase in the quantity of coffee used by my
     subjects and the amount of money that goes out of the country in
     consequence. Everybody is using coffee. If possible, this must be
     prevented. My people must drink beer." Frederick the Great
111. "From man’s sweat and God’s love, beer came into the world." Saint
     Arnold of Metz, The patron Saint of Brewers
112. "You can only drink 30 or 40 glasses of beer a day, no matter how rich you
     are." Colonel Adolphus Busch
113. "I work until beer o’clock." Steven King
114. “God has a brown voice, as soft and full as beer.” Anne Sexton
115. “There is more to life than beer alone, but beer makes those other things
     even better.” Stephen Morris
116. “The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're
     sober.” William Butler Yeats
117. “Whiskey and Beer are a man's worst enemies... but the man that runs
     away from his enemies is a coward!” Zeca Pagodinho (Brazilian songwriter)
118. “Finish your beer – there are sober kids in India.” Sign in Blacksmith
     Brewing Company, Stevensville, MT
119. “Like what you drink - drink what you like.” anonymous quote from The
     Bull & Bush
120. A wise man once said “Never mix beer and hard liquor.... unless you've only
     got one glass."
121. “90% of the things you fear won’t happen, and the other 10% you can’t
     control anyway. So have another beer!”
122. “Give a man a beer and he will waste an hour. Teach a man to brew and
     he will waste his entire life.” Ben Franklin
123. “If you are going to drink to forget, please prepay your tab.”
124. "Now son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for Daddies, and kids with
     fake IDs." Homer Simpson
125. “It takes beer to make thirst worthwhile.” German Proverb
126. “I only drink beer on days that end in Y.”
127. “The church is near, but the road is icy. The bar is far away, but I will walk
     carefully.” Russian Proverb
128. “March is the month that God designed to show those who don’t drink
     what a hangover is like.” Garrison Keilor
129. “I never drink water. I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.” W. C.
     Fields
130. “Anyone can drink beer, but it takes intelligence to enjoy beer." Stephen
     Beaumont
131. “The Guinness Book of World Records” was first written in 1955 at the
     suggestion of Guinness Brewery’s top executive to “settle gentlemanly
     disputes, such as those that would arise over mugs of beer”.
132. Beer is the oldest alcoholic beverage and has been around since at least the
     ancient Sumerians of 2600 B.C., and was probably discovered much
     earlier. The ancient Sumerians even had a proverb that went "No children
     without sex - no drunkenness without beer”.
133. The Sumerians loved beer so much they even had a goddess of brewing
     called Ninkasi.
134. The Egyptians brewed a fruity beer called Heqet or Hekt. It was the
     beverage of choice for adults and children alike.
135. The Babylonians (circa 1800 B.C.) had more than 20 different varieties of
     beer according to clay tablet recipes found by archeologists in northern
     Syria.
136. In A. D. 1200, it was customary throughout Europe to baptize children
     with beer.
137. In the Middle Ages, beer was the everyday all day drink of choice for
     men, women and children. Why? --Because no one wanted to drink the
     polluted water supplies. The brewing process took most of the nasty stuff
     out of beer and made it much more desirable to drink than the local water
     supply.
138. In the 1600's, midwives created "Groaning Ale." It was a special
     ultrastrong beer meant to ease the pain of childbirth. It was also often
     used to bathe the newborn (since it was likely cleaner than the water
     available at the time).
139. In 1774, British scientist Joseph Priestly discovered oxygen after
     pondering the source of the bubbles rising from a vat of beer.
140. One of the very first acts of the Continental Congress was to issue rations
     of a quart a day of beer to all Revolutionary War soldiers.
141. In 1809, United States President James Madison tried to establish a
     National Brewery. He also tried to create a position on his cabinet for a
     Secretary of Beer. Both efforts failed unfortunately.
142. The first "pilsner" beer was created in Pilsen, Bohemia, hence the name, in
     1842. Now over 90% of the beer produced worldwide is pilsner beer.
143. 1Louis Pasteur is best known for "pasteurization" of milk. But in 1876, he
     originally came up with pasteurization as a flash heating method for
     killing bacteria in beer, enabling it to last much longer after being bottled.
144. 1933: Prohibition ends on December 5th in the United States. President
     Roosevelt says, "I believe this would be a good time for a beer!"
145. In 1935, the beer can was introduced. Canned beer was mostly prohibited
     in 1942 to save metal for the war effort, but was otherwise a big hit.
146. Pull tabs on beer cans showed up in 1963 and lasted until 1975 when they
     were fazed out in favor of the more environmentally friendly stay tabs.
147. Vikings were huge beer drinkers. They would even stop mid-battle for a
     beer break, drink huge quantities of beer, and then rejoin the battle "bare
     shirt" - armor and shirts removed. The Norse word berserk means "bare
     shirt" and this is where the term "going berserk" came from.
148. The term honeymoon is also connected to beer. In ancient Babylonia, the
     father of the bride would gift the groom a month's supply of mead, which
     is a honey beer. This month long beer session came to be known as the
     honey month and that morphed into the term "honeymoon."
149. The term "the real McCoy" came from a Prohibition-era bootlegger named
     Jim McCoy. His beers were so close in taste to real brands they were
     known as the Real McCoy.
150. During World War II, in 1943, all US brewers allocated 15 percent of their
     beer production for military use. Beer cans were even painted drab olive,
     like military jeeps, so as not to reflect and make soldiers easy targets.
151. In 2003, PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) lobbied
     Wisconsin Governor Jim Doyle to change Wisconsin's official beverage
     from milk to beer. PETA argued that beer is healthier than milk - PETA
     claiming that milk is linked to heart disease, cancer, allergies, diabetes,
     and obesity.
152. Why did the Pilgrims land at Plymouth Rock rather than push on to
     Virginia, as originally intended? They had run out of beer, of course. As
     the diary of one Mayflower passenger reads, “We could not now take time
     for further search or consideration; our victuals being much spent,
     especially our beere.”
153. Germany serves beer ice cream in popsicle form. Its alcoholic content is
     less than that found in “classic” beer.
154. In 1962, Iron City beer was the brand used to test-market the concept of
     tab opening aluminum cans. By 1970, over 90% of all beer cans were self-
     opening.
155. Centuries ago in England, pub visitors used a novel innovation that
     enabled them to get their beer served quickly. They used mugs with a
     whistle baked into the rim, the whistle being used to summon the
     barmaid. It has been suggested this practice gave birth to the phrase “wet
     your whistle.”
156. President Theodore Roosevelt took more than 500 gallons of beer with
     him on an African safari. Must have been thirsty work.
157. There is an Egyptian beer, called bousa, that is brewed from millet and has
     been a favorite drink of many for over 3,000 years. Modern Ethiopia has a
     version made from wheat. It has been hypothesized that this might have
been the origin for the word “booze.” Other spellings used are boza,
bouza, and booza. Take your pick.

				
DOCUMENT INFO
Shared By:
Tags: Beer, belly
Stats:
views:99
posted:6/25/2011
language:English
pages:11
Description: Beer belly, is the increase with age, men of deep sleep stages decreased, due to poor quality of sleep, hormone secretion will be reduced, the lack of hormones and body fat accumulation in the abdomen increases, and the older the more obvious impact. In addition, many middle-aged man sitting in office a long time, lack of exercise, likely to cause abdominal fat accumulation. Pressure at work, many people eating too much, leading to indigestion, which could easily lead to overweight.