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                                                                                       May 9, 2008               Volume 124, Issue 25

  The Scarlet and Black                                                              First College Newspaper West of the Mississippi
  The Scarlet and Black                                                    First College Newspaper West of the Mississippi
                                                                                       Grinnell College                     Grinnell, IA

                                                                                                                                       Ban to affect the smoking lounge
                                                                                                                                                                 BY PETER HENRY
                                                                                                                                           It looks as if Cleveland Lounge will finally be quitting cold
                                                                                                                                       turkey. A last-minute amendment to the Smokefree Air Act that
                                                                                                                                       extended the smoking prohibition to cover “private educational
                                                                                                                                       facilities and common places” will snub out the lounge’s smoking
                                                                                                                                       privileges by the beginning of the fall semester.
                                                                                                                                           This week, the college’s legal council reviewed the act and
                                                                                                                                       briefed college administrators on the impact of the law. “It appears
                                                                                                                                       as if Grinnell College is directly and thoroughly affected by the
                                                                                                                                       Smokefree Air Act,” said President Russell Osgood.
                                                                                                                                           The Smokefree Air Act, which goes into full effect July 1, pro-
                                                                                                                                       hibits smoking in all places accessible to the public, including, but
                                                                                                                                       not limited to, bars, restaurants and outdoor seating at sporting
                                                                                                                                       events. A specific pro-
                                                                                                                                       vision was added to the
                                                                                                                                       original act to include “Its shocking. The state allows
                                                                                                                                       all private universities. smoking in casinos, and we
                                                                                                                                       Controversially, exemp-
                                                                                                                                       tions have been made can’t do it in people’s residence
                                                                                                                                       for casino floors, veter- halls.”
                                                                                                                                       ans’ hospitals and the
                                                                                                                                       Iowa State Fair.                                Russell Osgood,
                                                                                                                                           “It’s shocking,” said
                                                                                                                                       Osgood. “The state al-
                                                                                                                                       lows smoking in casinos, and we can’t do it in people’s residence
                                                                                                                                           Osgood said he opposed the ban’s applicability to Cleveland
                                                                                                                                       Lounge on the grounds that it is a residential area. “I don’t think
                                                                                                                                       smokers should be treated as criminals, particularly since, for many
                                                                                                                                       students, its equivalent to a home rather than a public place.”
                                                                                                                                           The effect of the ban on smoking outdoors is currently uncer-
                                                                                                                                       tain. According to the act, smoking will be prohibited on “School
                                                                                                                                       grounds, including parking lots, athletic fields, playgrounds, tennis
                                                                                                                                       courts and any other outdoor area under the control of a public or
                                                                                                                                       private educational facility.” The administration does not know
                                                                                                                                       whether this refers to the entirety of a campus or just individual
                                                                                                                                       outdoor facilities. Smoking is already prohibited in loggias.
                                                                                                                                                                                      Smoke, see p. 3

                                                                                                                                       Progress made
                                                                                                                                       on wind turbines            BY JAI GARG
SGA President Megan Goering gives the State of the School address on Wednesday night this week.                         PAUL KRAMER
                                                                                                                                            With the windmill at CERA in full twirl, the college has

Goering delivers State of the College
                                                                                                                                       begun the process for the next step in bringing wind energy to
                                                                                                                                            Since last October, the college has utilized wind models and
                     BY M ATT ZMUDKA                                    John Burrows ‘10, SGA VPSA-elect, explained that the           identified six potential sites that would most suit the four wind
    Preceding the last Joint Board of the year, on Wednes-          new cabinet viewed the speech as a launching point for             turbines. The administration is currently in the process of negoti-
day SGA President Megan Goering delivered the State                 next year. “We’re definitely using the speech as a starting        ating leasing rights to land property located north of campus.
of the College address, describing abundant progress to a           point to gauge what’s been done well this year and which                By leasing the land as opposed to purchasing it, the school
scant crowd of Grinnell students.                                   projects need to be picked up again next year,” he said.           hopes to work with landowners rather than alienate them. “This
    Goering addressed several issues, including student                 The address, rescheduled from a week prior, drew less          is a way for people to continue to get benefits throughout the
advocacy, student life, policy changes and goals for future         than ten students who were not present or future members           life of the turbine,” said Vice-President of Institutional Planning
SGA administrations. She also spoke at length about new             of Joint Board. In an e-mail statement sent to the S&B,            Marci Sortor. Since the school will be leasing the land, landown-
administrators that had been hired, notably Special Assis-          Goering wrote that the address was initially cancelled be-         ers will receive continuous compensation for the turbines, even if
tant to the President on Diversity Elena Bernal and Vice            cause “SGA hit overload this past weekend because of the           a new landowner moves in.
President of Student Affairs Houston Dougharty.                     coming together of the Board of Trustees, Pride Week,                   Though there is no specific timetable for negotiations, wind
    Nick DePetris ‘08 said that this was his first State of         SGA reform in Joint Board and a number of other projects           advocates hope to have the land leases acquired by the end of the
the School speech, but he learned much by attending. “I             including personal academics.”                                     summer. “We have had really positive results,” said FTP member
know some people think that a lot of the issues SGA deals               DePetris, who attended the speech, thought that its            Emily Stiever ’09. “As of now, we have not had any sort of nega-
with are somewhat pointless, but hearing everything they            timing during ‘Hell Week’ limited attendance. “Hell Week           tive feedback.”
have accomplished in a giant, 45 minute long list has really        is never a good time for things to be held, although obvi-              Apart from acquiring the leasing rights, many obstacles will
changed my perspective,” he said.                                   ously it is an appropriate time for a summary of the year          need to be cleared in order for the wind turbines to be construct-
    Near the end, Goering addressed the recent hate crimes          to occur,” he said. Burrows agreed, adding “I think that in        ed. Since the turbines will not be located on campus, the school
and campus responses, including the recent fracas involv-           order to get more people to come it, should be held at a           must run wires from the turbines to campus. The wires will be
ing pride flags in the dining hall. To that end, Goering            different time and maybe with free food.”                          underground and run mostly along the railways and roads leading
wants future SGA administrations to examine “what kinds                 Goering listed next year’s priorities as gaining 24-hour       to campus.
of policies we have lurking around campus that can be det-          building access, reviewing international financial aid, and             Though the wires will not affect landowners, several proper-
rimental to students and how to move those in a direction           adding student voices to college marketing, to name a few.         ties in town could be affected by the disturbances caused by the
to support more students.”                                                                                                                                                              Wind, see p. 3

                                              Catered Cabinet lunch-                    This week’s movies:                        Meet the girls of Yel-                   The    triathalon was
                                              es lead to debate over                    westerns with Ausies,                      low House where                          hard? David Paige ’09
                                              funding and perks with-                   blood and sexy egg                         cooking, cuddling and                    swims marathon for
                                              in SGA.....................p. 3           yolks........................p. 7          concerts reign......p. 9                 CMT awareness....p. 14
2     edited by Ari Anisfeld and Johnny Buse;
                                                                       S&RLCs hired, two left to go
                                                                   Two new
                                                                                                   EWS                                                                                     May 9, 2008

World News:                                                                                   BY R EBECCA PARK                                of haven’t necessarily have had the philosophy of self-governance,
• Death tolls in Burma have been projected to reach 100,000            When students return to campus next fall, first-years won’t be         so it’s been a little bit frustrating. So now I’m able to be in a place
people after a cyclone struck the region on May 4. Over            the only new faces, as four new RLCs will be joining the college’s         that will allow me to kind of practice what I preach.”
a million have been left homeless and the area is largely          student staff. The college continues to search for two candidates              McCarthy expressed similar sentiment. “I’m interested to get
without electricity and running water while Burma’s cur-           but has already filled two spots by hiring Jim McCarthy, Leader-           to know self-governance … to see it in action,” he said.
rent military regime has blocked most outside aid. A small         ship Development Coordinator at Canisius College and Christo-                  McCarthy said he was enthusiastic about getting to know
number of United Nations planes have been allowed to land          pher Bylone, a graduate student at Eastern Michigan University.            Grinnellians and was impressed by the students he met. “The stu-
in the country to offer aid and several other disaster relief          McCarthy, who is currently working and living with students            dents were brilliant … they were very intriguing, interesting,” he
organizations are on standby in hopes that the junta will lift     in the halls at Canisius College in Buffalo, NY, will likely be placed     said. “You can’t really pigeonhole them in one group.”
restrictions.                                                      in Smounker. Bylone is currently attending graduate school at                  Bylone also said he is eager to work with students and look-
                                                                   Eastern Michigan University completing his Masters of Arts in              ing forward to the job’s challenges. “I know without a doubt that
• Fighting has flared again in Lebanon as supporters of            Educational Leadership.                                                    they are going to challenge me every day, and that is probably the
Hezbollah sparred with supporters of the current govern-               The students who interviewed McCarthy and Bylone were                  most exciting part about this job,” he said. “And I want that as a
ment. Hezbollah has accused the current American-backed            generally positive about the new hires. “I was really struck by [Mc-       professional. I want the students to challenge me to make sure I
government of a “declaration of war” by turning off their          Carthy’s] easygoing nature. He came across as very genuine,” Al-           am being the advocate they need and want.”
communications network. According to security forces, at           yssa Penner ’10 said, an SA involved in the hiring process.                    While there are two more RLC positions that need to be filled,
least ten people were killed as skirmishes continued in Bei-           Loosehead HSC Brian Davis ’09, who also took part in the               no concerns have been expressed about being able to find qualified
rut through the day.                                               hiring process, attended dinner with McCarthy and said that he             candidates. “We still have several people coming to campus, so I’m
                                                                   easily fulfilled his basic RLC requirements by being approachable          optimistic,” Andrews said.
National News:                                                     and easy to talk to. “When I was at dinner, I felt like [McCarthy]             Loosehead HSC Brian Davis ’09 compared this year’s job
• Ninety-six men, including 76 students at San Diego State,        was a friend of mine who I had known for a while,” Davis said.             search to the multiple RLC search two years ago. According to
were arrested in San Diego on Tuesday in a drug sting on               One concern when searching for staff is the adaptability of            Davis, this year they were able to start the hiring process earlier,
the campus. Officials have reported that over $100,000 of          potential RLCs to self-governance. “We’re looking for … people             and have been able to attract more candidates. “I feel like we’ve
marijuana, cocaine and ecstasy was confiscated after under-        who have some understanding of what self-governance is and also            been able to choose more who we’re actually interested in, rather
cover police infiltrated the student-run drug ring. Following      have an interest in being in a self-governing community,” Sheree           than taking someone who is ready and able … to come.”
the arrests, the university has suspended six fraternities that    Andrews, associate dean and director of Residence Life, said.                  Penner said she is confident about having new RLCs on cam-
were purportedly involved in the drug trade.                           Bylone and McCarthy both said they were excited to work in             pus. “I will be on the student staff of a new RLC,” she said. “It will
                                                                   a self-governing community. “Self-governance … is something I              be interesting knowing I have more experience at Grinnell than
Iowa News:                                                         believe in very much, so it’s really nice to be able to practice that in   my ‘boss.’ But I feel like the people who they hire, obviously they
• A blind man from Alta, Iowa bowled a perfect game last           my profession,” Bylone said. “The universities that I’ve been a part       know that and they’re going to be open to student input.”
Saturday during a league match. The 78-year-old Dale Da-
vis was the first person to bowl a flawless 300 at Century
Lanes. Davis, whose average score is at 180, has been bowl-
                                                                   New system will text message alerts
                                                                                           BY M ATT ZMUDKA                                    e2Campus program is in use by 500 colleges nationwide accord-
ing for 60 years.                                                      Ever yearned for alerts of thundersnow to be accompanied               ing to the company’s website, and is “not expensive”, according
                                                                   by polyphonic renditions of the 1812 Overture? Thanks to Se-               to Briscoe; for 1000 users, it costs $2600 per year.
                                                                   curity and ITS, that could soon be a reality.                                  Similar text message systems are now in use at the University
                   —Compiled by Ari Anisfeld & Johnny Buse             Grinnell Campus Security recently activated its new “Pio-              of Iowa and Iowa State University. Iowa State’s was activated for
                                                                   neer Alert” system, which will notify students, faculty and staff          the first time during their spring break in March, when a gun-
                                                                   of emergencies on campus via cell phone text messages. Using               man was reported in a residence hall. Those systems also allow
                                                                   offsite software, an alert issued by Security will automatically be        parents to receive messages, a feature Briscoe says isn’t included
                                                                   sent to any subscribers.                                                   on Pioneer Alert yet but may be added in the future.
                                                                       Stephen Briscoe, director of Campus Security, said that the                In addition to cell phone alerts, Security is also exploring the
•Joint Board rejected a resolution to restrict cabinet spending    office decided to install Pioneer Alert after a security committee         possibility of installing a campus-wide intercom system. “Some
on weekly lunches.                                                 last year issued findings that most faculty and students have cell         of our buildings have intercoms, but we’re looking at extending
•The Brandon Martinez Award for Outstanding Service to             phones. Briscoe said the system will be used for urgent mes-               that to all of our buildings,” Briscoe said.
SGA was awarded to Lauro Franco.                                   sages, such as “violent intruders, natural disasters and tornado               Currently, the system does not have many subscribers, but
• Three budgets were approved for Water Polo, Cycling Club         warnings.”                                                                 Briscoe has encouraged people to sign up via a recent all-cam-
and Block Party.                                                       The e2Campus system allows Briscoe to issue e-mail and                 pus e-mail and hopes first-years will sign up at next year’s New
                                                                   text message alerts with one click of a mouse. “What we’re do-             Student Orientation. “We hope to get lots of people to sign up,”
                               —Compiled by Chris Neubert          ing is looking at multiple methods of getting information to               Briscoe said.
                                                                   [people] on campus in emergency situations,” Briscoe said. The

  May 9 - May 15                                                                                                                                                   Movie Times on Page 5

      Friday                        10
                                Saturday                          11
                                                                  Sunday                       Monday                            13
                                                                                                                               Tuesday                         14
                                                                                                                                                        Wednesday                              15
ART EXHIBIT CU-              GIMP CABARET                 CAMPUS WIDE                   KANSAS CITY BBQ:               LABYRINTH WALK:     FINALS WEEK FILM:                          FINALS WEEK FILM:
RATED BY ALANNA              PERFORMANCE: Main            RUMMAGE SALE:                 JRC Courtyard, 5-7             Forum South Lounge, HAIRSPRAY: Harris                          10 THINGS I HATE
NISSEN ’09: Burl-            Hall Lounge, 7 p.m.          Central Campus, 9             p.m.                           11 a.m.-8 p.m.                  Center Cinema, 7               ABOUT YOU: Harris
ing Library Print     OLD FASHION GOSPEL                  a.m.-5 p.m.                   FINALS WEEK FILM:              COMMUNITY MEAL:                 p.m.,9 p.m.                    Center Cinema, 7
& Drawing Room,       CONCERT: Herrick      DRAKE FACULTY                               ENTER THE DRAGON:              Davis Elementary                BELLY DANCE PER-               p.m., 9 p.m.
1-5 p.m. Continues    Chapel, 7 p.m.        BRASS QUIN-                                 Harris Center Cin-             school, 818 Hamilton            FORMANCE: Bucks-
through May.          SGA FILMS: 3:10       TET: Bucksbaum                              ema, 7 p.m., 9 p.m.            Avenue, 5:30-6:15               baum Flanagan
EXPLORING THE SYM- TO YUMA: Athletic &      Sebring-Lewis Hall,                                                        p.m.                            Theatre, 8 p.m.
BOLISM OF PURPLE:     Fitness Center, 8:30. 2 p.m.                                                                     FINALS WEEK FILM:               COOKIES AND MILK
Goodnow 105,                                PANCAKE STUDY                                                              TOP GUN: Harris                 STUDY BREAK: Burl-
4:15-5:30 p.m.                              BREAK: Harris                                                              Center Cinema, 7                ing Library, 9-9:30
FREE THE PLANET                             Center Concert Hall,                                                       p.m., 9 p.m.                    p.m.
BONFIRE: Bonfire Pit,                       8-10 p.m.                                                                  COOKIES AND MILK
9 p.m.                                                                                                                 STUDY BREAK: Burl-
                                                                                                                       ing Library, 9-9:30
                                                                                                                       DINING SERVICES ICE
                                                                                                                       CREAM STUDY BREAK:
                                                                                                                       JRC 1st Floor Lobby,
                                                                                                                       9-10 p.m.
May 9, 2008
                    S B cabinet lunches 3
Senators raise concern over
                                                                                                NEWS                                                        edited by Ari Anisfeld and Johnny Buse

                        BY OMAR MUÑOZ
    Free lunches from Chuong Garden and other local restau-
rants have long been one of the perks of pouring hours into stu-
dent government. But recently, some senators have been taking
steps towards ending this mealtime practice.
    This week Joint Board voted on and rejected a resolution to
end spending on lunch for cabinet members. Though the reso-
lution failed, students, Cabinet members and the SGA advisor
are considering new options.
    Laura Lienemann ’08 originally raised the issue in Joint
Board during the soapbox portion of a February Joint Board
session. According to the February 27 Joint Board Minutes,
Lienemann expressed her disapproval of free lunches for cabi-
net members from restaurants in town during their bi-weekly
    More recently Loosehead Senator Anna Gilbert ’09 for-
mulated a proposition to end spending on cabinet lunches a
resolution with fellow Clangrala Senator Greg Hudson ’09.
Gilbert said that cabinet members should be able to provide
their lunches.
    “The Cabinet money, that money does come from SGA,”
said Gilbert. “And I find it difficult to believe that students who
are on meal plans and salaried through Cabinet can’t provide
their own lunches.”
    According to Assistant Treasurer Emily Wax ’09, in Febru-
ary cabinet began buying groceries instead of ordering food for
their noontime meetings. Wax said costs are now one third of
what they were last semester, dropping from $1800 to $600 per
    Kim Hinds-Brush, Loosehead RLC and SGA Advisor, ex-
pressed concern over efforts to eliminate spending on lunches
that she finds necessary. “Monday [lunches] are kind of up in
the air, but on Wednesdays, they’re asking administrators to
                                                                        Members of the SGA cabinet no longer dine on twice weekly meals from places like Lonnski’s and Chuong Garden. Instead members of cabinet now
come and expecting them to bring their own lunch is pretty
                                                                        enjoy PB&J during their meetings with administrators.                                                                    CLARE PATERSON
rude. This is students meeting administrators and saying “don’t
go to lunch, come talk to us,” said Hinds-Brush.                       rently earmarked for Cabinet Discretionary funds.” However,                 According to Burrows, the resolution failed this semester
    Hinds-Brush explained that other options had been con-             Lienemann said that spending on lunches is not necessary be-            primarily as a result of the language in the resolution and not
sidered but that none proved to be effective or an improvement         cause Cabinet members have easy access to food in the JRC.              as a response to the effort to end spending on student lunches.
on current spending. “We looked into [dining hall catering]            “Now with pay increase and with the dining hall, the grill and          “Resolution didn’t have strict guidelines saying what cabinet
and it would cost just as much, if not more than to buy stuff.         [outtakes] and the offices near each other, they have access to         can not do. Next fall there should be a resolution with stricter
Even if they use meal plans, there are still people who live off       food,” said Lienemann. She added that faculty does not have             guidelines,” said Burrows.
campus and administrators who don’t have meal plans,” said             lunch paid for during faculty meetings and that they pay for                Some members of SGA, such as incoming Treasurer Emily
Hinds-Brush. Hinds-Brush also said that they looked into ei-           lunches themselves.                                                     Wax ’09, believe that there are larger issues than purchasing
ther having everyone getting outtakes or just eating in the din-           John Burrows ’10, Senator for OCNCO and Vice President              weekly lunches. “If you want to be worked up about something
ing hall but she said that wasn’t feasible because it would take       of Student Affairs elect, said he does not support the complete         [in the budget], there are a lot of larger issues to be worked up
too long and people wouldn’t be together at the same time.             elimination of spending, especially during meetings with ad-            about,” said Wax.
Lienemann recognized that current funding for lunches has “no          ministrators. “We’ll still have to spend some money when ad-            —Additional reporting by David Logan and David Montgomery
direct effect on funding for other groups as the money is cur-         ministrators attend meetings,” said Burrows.

Wind               turbines themselves. “There
from p. 1                                                                                                                                                        from p. 1                “We’ll see whether there’s
                   is going to be financial provi-                                                                                                                                    any room for maneuver, but
sions for those that are within a certain distance                                                                                                               at the moment it looks like there isn’t any,” said
of the turbine and the turbine is not directly on                                                                                                                Osgood.
their land,” said Associate Director of Facilities                                                                                                                    The manner in which the ban will be en-
Management Whitney. “Within a quarter mile                                                                                                                       forced on campus has not been decided. Russ
there is an audio and visual impact, and we will                                                                                                                 Motta, Security, declined to comment, as admin-
compensate the landowners for that.”                                                                                                                             istrators have not yet determined how it will be
    The initial cost of the turbines will be ap-                                                                                                                 incorporated into campus policy.
proximately $8 million; the school expects a re-                                                                                                                      Vice President of Student Affairs Houston
turn on their investment in about 14 years. The                                                                                                                  Dougharty said that changes would be made
school plans to use all of the energy that the tur-                                                                                                              to campus smoking policy. “If it’s a state law, it
bines generate. “To avoid [wasting electricity],                                                                                                                 means that we have to change campus policy,” he
FM suggested to use the energy to heat water                                                                                                                     said. “It would be our responsibility as a college
since we always have boilers going,” said Sorter.                                                                                                                to be sure that we are in compliance with state
    Once the school is able to acquire the land                                                                                                                  law.”
and clear certain hurdles, including permitting,                                                                                                                      Dougharty said he believed the most direct
the school will then begin to take proposals                                                                                                                     enforcement would be through self governance
from different wind turbine manufacturers. The                                                                                                                   and the RLC. “One would hope that self gov-
school plans to build four 900-kilowatt turbines                                                                                                                 ernance would rise to the occasion, too, and say
each generating three to four megawatts of                                                                                                                       ‘you guys, we don’t have a choice here, this isn’t a
power.                                                                                                                                                           choice we made,’” said Dougharty. “My hope is
    Even with such progress on the turbines,                                                                                                                     that it would get resolved in that way. But cul-
current juniors should not expect to see them                                                                                                                    tures are difficult to shift.”
before they graduate, as they won’t appear on                                                                                                                         Changes would also be made in the process
the Grinnell landscape until mid 2010. With                                                                                                                      of making the lounge a smoke-free area, but
size and location taken into consideration, the                                                                                                                  Dougharty said he could not speak to specifics.
turbines will be visible from the second floor of                                                                                                                “I think it’ll have to be kind of an educational
the JRC. “I’ll come and visit,” said FTP mem-                                                                                                                    campaign,” he said. “There may be some paint-
ber Andrew Fair ’09. “But most importantly,                                                                                                                      ing and some other things that happen in there
students need to keep carbon reduction on the         The wind turbine at Conard Environmental Research Area (CERA) provides adequate energy for the research    over the summer to give a fresh look and a fresh
front burners.”                                       facility.                                                                            BEN BREWER            feel.”
                                                                                                                                                                      Though many students are distraught about
                                                                                                                                                                 the smoking ban, many are also skeptical about
  Don’t sleep late.                                                                                                                                              how seriously students will take the change.
                                                                                                                                                                 “Taking away the smoking lounge isn’t too big a
                                                                                                                                                                 deal,” said Charlie White ’09. “People will prob-

                FINALS WEEK: MAY 13-16                                                                                                                           ably just smoke in their rooms, and there is really
                                                                                                                                                                 very little that can be done about that as long as
                                                                                                                                                                 it isn’t bothering anybody.”
 4     edited by Ari Anisfeld and Johnny Buse;
                                                                                  NB       EWS                                                    May 9, 2008

    Sewage pipe break leads to flooding of Darby
   Last Saturday evening, as students filled the Darby Gym for Spring Waltz, the building’s basement was flooding with water from a broken sewage pipe. The
   flooding started after a construction crew broke a pipe while preparing the ground nearby the gym for the college’s new natatorium complex. Security reported
   the breakage to FM on Saturday and while the festivities were not cut short by the backed up floor drains, the entire gym was closed the next day due to health
   concerns, said Richard Whitney, associate director of Facilities Management for Construction and Maintenance. “We also had a compromised sewer line out-
   side of the building and wanted to prevent further sewer backup from water usage,” said Whitney. FM cleaned the area for the gym to be reopened by 11:30
   on Monday morning. According to Whitney, there was little damage done by the flooding aside from contamination. “The water had receded when we started
   the cleanup, which was essentially sanitizing contaminated surfaces,” said Whitney.                                                         NICK HECKER

College selects incoming Class of 2012
                     BY C L A IR E R EEDER                      Seth Allen, Admission calibrates geographic diversity
    After a grueling selection process the Class of 2012 is within and between classes. “We continue to try to bal-
getting ready to head our way.                                  ance out and tweak the classes geographically,” said Allen.
    The Class of 2012 will feature fewer international stu- “We’d like to see more students from the East and West
dents than in past years, but will cover more countries, Coasts.”
                                                                                                                                        Applicants to the
while the domestic geographical representation remains              A Facebook group, “The Grinnell Twelves,” created by
similar to previous classes. Despite being seperated by Marisol Casorla ’11, has offered incoming students a peek
vast distances, the “Grinnell Twelves” have been able to into their future at Grinnell. Many incoming students
                                                                                                                                3,888   class of 2012
interact via Facebook.                                          have been using Facebook to make early acquaintances
    The Class of 2012 will also represent more countries and find answers to question about Grinnell.
than in the past, particularly from                                                          “A group like ‘Grinnell Twelves’
the Middle East. “Next year we                                                           is helpful because I can ask any
will have students here f rom Iran,
                                           “A group like ‘Grinnell Twelves’ [on          questions that probably wouldn’t                Percentage of
Egypt, and if everything works
out, f rom Iraq,” said Director of
Admission Nancy Maly ’61. New
                                                                                         bode well with counselors, like
                                           Facebook] is helpful because I can ask which teachers are best,” said Salil
                                                                                         Kalghatgi ’12 of Iowa City. “It was
                                                                                                                                33.5%    applicants ac-
                                                                                                                                         cepted for 2012
students also hail from other cur-
                                           any questions that probably wouldn’t          good finding out which other stu-
rently unrepresented countries,            bode well with counselors, like which         dents would be on the golf team
including Albania, Bosnia, Brazil          teachers are best.”                           with me next year just so I can
and Costa Rica.                                                                          talk to them about the upcoming
    Similar to the current first-                                  Salil Kalghatgi ‘12 season, and I’m sure other people                Percentage of
years, the majority of international
students will be f rom Southeast
Asia, according to Maly. The larg-
                                                                                         have started talking because of
                                                                                         similar hobbies or tastes.” Discus-
                                                                                         sion board topics include “favorite
                                                                                                                                40.5%   applicants ac-
                                                                                                                                        cepted for 2011
est applicant pool came from China, and it was also the music?,” “Why Grinnell?,” and one where they discuss
most competitive: of the 400 Chinese applicants, only 15 potential majors.
were admitted.                                                      Regardless of initial encounters made via the Internet,              Number of peo-
    There will be little domestic geographical difference incoming students say they are excited for face-to-face
                                                                                                                                         ple in “Grinnell
between the class of 2012 and 2011. There are more in- interaction. “Knowing that people behave differently on-
coming students from the Mid-Atlantic, New England line than they do in person, I’m really just more excited
and the Midwest, with fewer f rom the South and South- to actually meet people in August,” said Tucker Bush ’12
                                                                                                                                261      Twelves” on
west than last year. The number of Iowans remains rough- of St. Louis, MO.
ly the same from past years.                                        The new Grinnell Class of 2012 will arrive on campus
    According to Dean of Admission and Financial Aid for New Student Orientation on Saturday, August 23.
May 9, 2008
                                                                                          SB  &
                                                                                             NEWS                                                       edited by Ari Anisfeld and Johnny Buse
                                                                                                                                      ;           5
Rabbi Darkside ’00 brings MTV to KDIC
     While KDIC has upgraded its digs since
moving into the JRC, it is still far from being
a professional music studio. However, earlier
this week the big leagues came to tape at the
college’s radio station.
     On Tuesday May 6th, MTV came to cam-
pus to film an episode of the reality television
show Made in the KDIC studios. The show
follows one high school student who, over the
course of a few weeks condensed into one hour
of TV time, to acquire a new skill or accomplish
some endeavor. A typical show might show a
prom queen-type becoming a skateboarder, or
vice versa. To help the teenagers learn their
new talent, MTV hires a “Made Coach,” an
expert in the field who serves as a mentor.
     For an episode set to air in early June in
which a girl from Cedar Rapids, Iowa wishes
to become a DJ and beat-boxer, MTV hired
a Grinnell alum, Sam Sellers ’00, aka “Rabbi
Darkside,” to serve as her coach. “I’m an MC,
and a DJ, and a beat-boxer, in that order,” said
     MTV decided to utilize the KDIC studio
to show the student acquiring firsthand expe-
rience in a radio studio. “It was just to get some
shots of them around some real equipment,”
said Ben Lebsack ’08, who hosted the KDIC
show that MTV filmed. “The Made girl did a
little beat-boxing and I had an interview with
     While the show attempts to portray a
sense of realism, Lebsack said he thought that
even though the show sought to portray it as
an example of practical experience, the filming
lacked authenticity.
     “They made me do a lot of fake stuff,
which I feel like I’m going to look kind of          Sam Sellars '00 aka DJ Rabbi Darkside (standing) serves as “Made coach” to a Cedar Rapids girl (lower left) during Ben Lebsack ’08’s (upper right) radio
weird,” Lebsack said. “They couldn’t record          show MTV would not release the girls identity before the show airs. Tom Langan (bottom left), Made’s producer, filmed the show on Tuesady in the
with music in the studio because they don’t          KDIC studios.                                                                                                                          NICK HECKER
want to have to deal with getting the rights to          After MTV hired him, Sellers pushed to              “I went there to do some hip-hop living        work for a non-profit who sets me up in with
the songs. So I’d have to turn off the music and     involve Grinnell College in the filming of the      and teach some kids, and I was a public school     residencies in public schools.”
pretended to scratch with no music on.”              show. “My production input on the show was          teacher for four years,” he said.                      While Seller has traveled a long way since
     While Lebsack said he was not particularly      ‘hey, we should take a day, go to Grinnell, visit       Sellers is no longer a public school teacher   his time at Grinnell, including a European
impressed by the girl who was being made, he         KDIC, chill out,’” he said.                         and instead has chosen to take a new career        tour, he still found the community welcoming
found Sellers to be an exciting presence in              In addition to his career as Rabbi Darkside,    track in combining his love of music with his      on his return. “I think Grinnell is the kind of
the studio. “He was pretty talkative and loud,”      Sellers has taught children ranging from first      work teaching kids.                                place where once you’re a student, once you’re
said Lebsack. “He said he wished we could be         grade to high school. After graduating from             “I teach performance poetry, turntablism,      an alum, you’re always part of this community,”
drinking in there.”                                  Grinnell, Sellers moved to New York City.           music production, song writing,” he said. “I       Sellers said.
 6                S&old, new & weird forms
       edited by James Anthofer

Experience Westerns i ld
                    in l
                                                                                                   RTS                                                                               May 9, 2008

                                                                                                                                                             tarist, Johnny Greenwood. Most noteworthy
                                                                                                                                                             might also be Robert Elswit’s austere cinema-
                                                                                                                                                             tography, whose long tracking shots endow
                                                                                                                                                             the film with a quality that could be likened to
                                                                                                                                                             metaphysical artwork.
                                                                                                                                                                 In presenting seemingly naturalistic fig-
                                                                                                                                                             ures, objects and actions in a controlled scenic
                                                                                                                                                             space, the universe depicted in There Will Be
                                                                                                                                                             Blood appears mysteriously still, elegiac, once
                                                                                                                                                             removed from the historicized Wild West.
                                                                                                                                                                 I think There Will Be Blood is a fine film
                                                                                                                                                             to end the semester with. The final 30 min-
                                                                                                                                                             utes of the film might be the most comedic
                                                                                                                                                             and tragic sequence of events I have ever seen.
                                                                                                                                                             Regardless of whether you view the movie as
                                                                                                                                                             a political allegory or just a joke (with quite
                                                                                                                                                             possibly the most elaborate and psychologi-
                                                                                                                                                             cally involved set up to date), this movie asks
                                                                                                                                                             for a reaction.
                                                                                                                                                                                       —Lawrence Sumulong


                                                                                                                                                             Unique film combines
                                                                                                                                                             West and East in love
                                                                                                                                                                 If you love crazy ‘80s style cinematography,
                                                                                                                                                             old westerns, weird sex scenes, and ramen soup
                                                                                                                                                             (among a plethora of other Japanese foods),
                                                                                                                                                             then you’ll love Tampopo.
                                                                                                                                                                 The eponymous main character (Nobuko
                                                                                                                                                             Miyamoto) owns a ramen shop in Japan and
                                                                                                                                                             makes awful noodles. In a style reminiscent of
Daniel Plainview (Daniel Day-Lewis) greets the crowd at his church in the the Academy-Award winning and wholly unique There Will Be Blood.                   the Old West, milk-truck drivers Goro (Tsu-
                                                                                                                                                             tomu Yamazaki) and Gun (Ken Watanabe of
                                                  tegrity. Bale’s haunted reticence complements ment, critics from many publications ap-                     The Last Samurai) stroll into her restaurant
                                                  Crowe’s roguish relish rather well, and their praised the film to be something of a rare gem.              to rest their weary eyes from a long night of
                      3:10 to Yuma                interactions form the selling point of the mov- Regardless of its place in history, the film as-
                                                  ie, which seems a bit ironic, as Crowe (from sures Anderson’s status as an auteur and Dan-
                                                                                                                                                             driving and to satisfy their appetites. Their
                                                                                                                                                             entrance sets in motion the long chain of vi-
                            (2007)                New Zealand) and Bale (Welsh), are acting in iel Day-Lewis’s virtuosity as an actor.                       gnettes and adventures that the movie goes
                                                  the quintessentially American format of the           The plot seems fairly straightforward. At            through to eventually transform Tampopo’s
                                                  Western.                                          the turn of the century, the ambitious but strug-        noodles from the bottom to the top of the ra-
Crowe, Bale face off in wild                          Perhaps the all-American supporting cast, gling silver miner Daniel Plainview (Lewis)                  men shop heap.
                                                  comprised of Peter Fonda, Gretchen Mol, Ben accidentally discovers oil amidst the haggard                      The film as a whole should not be taken
remake of Western classic                         Foster and Dallas Roberts, help the film still deserts and gaunt homesteads of the American                too seriously. Tampopo’s escapades are, for the
    A remake of a 1957 film of the same name, feel authentic.                                       West. The movie then follows Plainview’s rise            most part, adorably absurd. She and Goro pick
3:10 to Yuma is probably the best Western pro-        3:10 To Yuma skillfully captures the rug- into fortune and descent into madness as he                  up a noodle-making master by saving an old
duced in Hollywood since Clint Eastwood’s ged landscape of New Mexico, and James slowly withdraws from the world in building                                 man’s life, recruit a defeated opponent to help
Unforgiven. Viewing it this Saturday evening Mangold’s direction is up to the mark as well. his empire of oil.                                               redecorate the noodle shop, and meet a gang of
in the JRC courtyard, underneath the setting The screenwriter has also definitely earned his            The interpolation of greed with corruption           “renegade-hobo” gourmet chefs who also help
Iowa sun, can do nothing but further bring out money by penning the witty dialogue.                 seems as old as sin. Furthermore, the trailer            teach her the secrets of fine ramen.
its greatness.                                        Only two factors prevent 3:10 To Yuma and the title itself seem to suggest that the film                   Their predicaments usually end up in their
          The plot in 3:10 to Yuma, as in most from being a classic. First, it’s too long. At 117 might be little more than one of the innumer-              favor and are at least in good fun. The movie
Westerns, moves in a straightforward fashion. minutes it goes at least 25 minutes longer than able cautionary tales concerning money and                     also includes random interludes that take what
Dan Evans (Christian Bale) is an impover- the original, although it adds nothing substan- corruption. The brilliance of this film arises                     would be dramatic scenarios and infuse them
ished rancher and a Civil War veteran and Ben tial to the new version. Second, the script is from its eccentric and elaborate articulation of                with culinary flair. Among the many bizarre
Wade (Russell Crowe) is an outlaw who loots rather linear. There’s an air of predictability such themes and its self-conscious design.                       and humorous scenes, one intriguing side story
an armored stagecoach early in the movie. about the action, and the length only accentu-                The film is based loosely off of Upton               follows a man in a white suit and his mistress
Without wasting too many words on details, ates this drawback.                                      Sinclair’s novel Oil!, a book which combines             (this is the infamous “egg yolk sex scene”).
Evans basically agrees to hold Wade to make           In all, however, 3:10 to Yuma is an excellent Sinclair’s abilities as both a muckraker and an              Tampopo’s other fine qualities include the
some money while they await a train to go to movie that definitely entertains.                      eloquent writer and John Huston’s classic film           dialogue, which was never overbearing, but in-
court in Yuma at 3:10 in the afternoon. Chaos                                     -Arunabh Singh The Treasure of Sierra Madre. It remains well               stead remained light and witty. Though it was
ensues.                                                                                             aware of its roots and the cultural and cin-             spoken in Japanese with subtitles, the director
    The movie sets itself apart from a generic                                                      ematic contexts it inhabits and departs from.            Juzo Itami (who has near-legendary status in
run-of-the-mill Western through excellent
performances. Bale is one of the few screen ac-
                                                                      There Will Be Blood As a result, I believe someone may dismiss the                     Japan) gets across a quick and humorous tone
                                                                                                    breadth and ambition of the movie as preten-             that everyone could relate to.
tors who can convincingly shed the trappings                                    (2007)              tious.                                                        Also, character development was excellent
of modernity. His character is no mere movie                                                            However, the visual and auditory experi-             in the Tampopo storyline and even somehow
star in costume. With his gaunt, haggard face                                                       ence that I felt was well worth the 150 minutes          surpasses expectations in the short time frame
and wide, awe-struck eyes he seems to have New Western masterpiece                                  I set aside during Hell Week, and could not,             of the scattered shorts.
stepped out of a daguerreotype or a murder
ballad.                                           combines tragedy, humor                           at least to me, be defined by its influences or
                                                                                                                                                                 The Films committee has organized a spe-
                                                                                                                                                             cial event for the viewing of Tampopo on Fri-
    On the other hand, Crowe’s character, the         What you have heard is true. There Will           Beyond Anderson’s clear-headed direc-                day night at 7:30pm in South Forum. In honor
prodigiously effective outlaw, is a more familiar Be Blood might be P.T. Anderson’s directorial tion and Lewis’s intimidating performance,                   of this cinematic masterpiece’s rich apprecia-
creature- a sociopath whose twinkling charm masterpiece.                                            the film also succeeds with its emotionally taut         tion for fine cuisine, free ramen and tea will be
masks both his ruthlessness and perverse in-          Although such claims take time to sedi- and unnerving score by Radiohead’s lead gui-                   served to all.

                                                                            J                           S                                                                       Speed Racer
                      H There Will                 F Tampopo                        3:10 to                    Iron Man                      Forgetting Sarah
    MOVIE             A Be- 4:30, 7:30 &
                              Blood                                         R       Yuma                T                                    Marshall
                                                     Fri. - 7:30 & 10                                          Fri. - 4:20, 7 & 9:30 p.m.                                       Fri. - 4:10, 7:10 & 9:45 p.m.
                                                   O p.m.                                                                                                                       Sat. - 1:30, 4:10, 7:10 & 9:45
                      R Fri. p.m.
                        10:30                      R Sat. - 7:30 & 10       C       Sat. - 8:30 p.m.
                                                                                    In JRC
                                                                                                        R      Sat. - 1:45, 4:20, 7 & 9:30
                                                                                                                                             Fri. - 4:30, 7:20 & 9:40 p.m.
                                                                                                                                             Sat. - 2, 4:30, 7:20 & 9:40 p.m.   p.m.

    TIMES             R Sat. - 1:30 p.m.
                                                   U p.m.
                                                                                    Courtyard           A
                                                                                                               Sun. - 1:45, 4:20 & 7 p.m.
                                                                                                               Mon.-Thurs. - 4:20 & 7 p.m.
                                                                                                                                             Sun. - 2, 4:30 & 7:20 p.m.
                                                                                                                                             Mon.-Thurs. - 4:30 & 7:20 p.m.
                                                                                                                                                                                Sun. - 1:30, 4:10 & 7:10 p.m.
                                                                                                                                                                                Mon.-Thurs. - 4:10 & 7:10 p.m.
May 9, 2008
                    S B features 5 shows
Grinnell Independent Theatre
                                       7                                                  &
                                                                                         ARTS                                                               edited by James Anthofer

                      BY M ATT ZMUDKA                                  GIT Co-leader Christian Ricci ’08 was excited about tional.” However, the Wall was a more formal performance
    Last Saturday afternoon, a full crowd packed the Wall          the quality of the plays that were submitted. “This year space than he would have liked. “It was difficult to find
to enjoy a strange taxicab conversation, the apocalypse and        was encouraging due to the fact that                                                 a lounge because most were preparing
the musings of the Cedar Rapids Chess Club all in one              we didn’t have a playwriting class,” he                                              for their various pre- or post-Waltz
sitting.                                                           said. “We didn’t have a guarantee of      “This year was encouraging due to the parties,” he said. “The Wall was really
    This collision of styles and settings is typical of Grinnell   plays being available, but they came fact that we didn’t have a playwriting a last resort—it was smaller than I’d
Independent Theatre (GIT)’s annual One-Act Festival,               in.”                                                                                 hoped.”
which has shown student-written and student-directed                   Dunaway, another first-time writ- class.”                                            After fall’s Neverland Players
plays since 2006.                                                  er, credits GIT’s first student-written                      Christian Ricci ’08 and the American Theateras its third
                                                                                                                                                                                       project in
    This year’s festival featured five plays written by Jo         one-acts performance two years ago                                                   April, GIT can claim this
Krukowski ’08, Sean Dunaway ’08.5, Ben Halliburton ’08,            with inspiring him to write his play,                                                production this year. “GIT has been
Sarah Mirk ’08, and Rachel Walberg ’09. Krukowski’s play           “Frivolous.” “First year, I saw GIT and                                              growing compared to where it was be-
“Apocalypse Huh?” about a trip to a 7-Eleven just before an        got inspired, and that was when I actually wrote this play,” fore I came,” Ricci said, adding that he’s grateful for under-
asteroid hits Earth, won the Theatre Department’s Barbara          he said.                                                     class interest as playwrights, directors and actors.
Clark Playwriting Contest this year.                                   In addition to writing his own play, Dunaway filled the      “It’s just a great chance to act, even if you don’t have a lot
    The play was her first playwriting experience, but she         lead role in Krukowski’s play, showing the cooperative na- of experience,” said Dunaway. He encouraged men to join
loved the response that she received. “It’s a little intimi-       ture of GIT. “[I guess she] couldn’t think of anyone who GIT, citing a small pool of male actors to choose from.
dating to put your work up in front of people, but it also         embodied the character as well as me,” he said. “I tried         Krukowski agreed but also added that the hidden tal-
makes it really satisfying when you do strike a chord with         to keep my mouth shut as much as possible in rehearsals ent on campus helped to inspire her. “You don’t need to go
[them],” she said. “After my play, I heard a bunch of people       (though)”.                                                   very far to find great ideas and great actors, great stuff to
say ‘Dude, let’s go to the 7-Eleven’”.                                 Ricci loved the audience turnout, calling it “excep- produce,” she said.
 8                 Sf Bf kids, videos, improv
       edited by James Anthofer

Kate Thomas: a busy lif of
                                                                                           FEATURES                                                                                    May 9, 2008

                BY A BBY R APOPORT                    inappropriate for me,’” she said with a smile.
     You may know her as one of the most tal-         Apparently, teaching was not inappropriate,
ented people in improv, but for Kate Thomas           given that she will be moving to Cambridge,
’05, improv is only the beginning of her talents.     Mass. to begin work on her master’s degree in
Thomas, a virtual celebrity on campus for her         elementary education and special needs educa-
performances with Ritalin Test Squad, brings          tion at Leslie University.
the same descriminating sense and acumen to                In moving, Thomas will leave Grinnell, the
her many other activities.                            town she’s called home for the last seven years,
     Thomas, by all accounts, excels at a shock-      as well as shocking students who are accus-
ing number of activities, from volleyball to          tomed to her frequent performances.
painting. In her “spare time” she works full               However, Thomas’ performances don’t stop
time with special needs elementary school stu-        with improv. When she’s not working, paint-
dents and holds a part-time position at Family        ing or improv-ing, Thomas also plays guitar in
Video.                                                a local bluegrass group, Buckthorn. “I’m classi-
     “All together, it kind of fills the time,” she   cally trained, but … no body else is,” she said.
said, seemingly unaware that so many activi-          “So I play my classical guitar at the bluegrass
ties would clearly exhaust almost anyone else.        group, which I think looks a little funny.”
For most days over the past several weeks, she             Thomas’ ties to the community also come
has worked at her job at Fairview Elementary          in her recent play performance in town and
School from 7 a.m. to 3:30 p.m., worked at            her participation in multiple town volleyball
Family Video from 4 p.m. to 6 p.m. and then           teams, continuing from her college career on
had play practice for the community theater           the team. “We were co-ed champions,” she
until 10:30 p.m.                                      bragged. “I’m supposed to get a shirt testify-
     Her schedule may be a little wild, but           ing to the fact that I was on the team. It was
whether she’s playing a crazed murderer or a          so exciting to be like ‘I’m on a team that won
love-crazed girlfriend, Thomas does every-            a trophy!’”
thing with a sense of purpose and order.                   One senses that such experiences make
      Thomas has a member of the improv               their way into her hilarious images of life in
group Ritalin Test Squad since her junior year        improv. Certainly, she borrows from her in-
in college—giving her four and a half years           credible knowledge of film.
experience entertaining Grinellians. “Kate is a            She’s familiar with old movies and new
rock of improv,” said Renee Lynch ’08, an im-         ones, foreign and mainstream. “I think she’s
prov member and a friend of Thomas. Lynch             probably the most over-qualified person [to
credits Thomas as the “historian” of the group,       work at Family Video] in history.”
the one who ensures that performances are re-              Thomas is happy talking about movies
corded and remembered.                                both specifically and in theory. “Any movie
     Perhaps some of her amusing charac-              that is predicated on the notion of women be-
ters and observations come from her job as a          ing victimized—you always have to watch it
pair educator at Fairview Elementary School.          and be like ‘What’s the objective?’” she said.
Thomas has two students she works with one-                She even loves classic scary films such as
on-one. From 7:30 a.m. until noon, she works          Psycho. “The famous shower scene in it I don’t
with a nine year-old girl, whom she’s been            find scary,” she explained a little later. “It’s in-
working with for the last year and a half. In         tense. I don’t find scary. There’s a later death in
the afternoons, she works with a kindergar-           it that makes me jump every time.”
tener with autism.                                         But when she’s not analyzing films, Thomas
     Although she works specifically with two         sometimes finds more bizarre ways to be witty.
students, Thomas has come to know many                Though she said she only paints “amateur-ish-
kids at the school, and she’s gotten used to          ly,” Thomas is nonetheless excited about work-
working with a younger world view than at             ing on a collection of paintings of animal puns.
the college. “They’ll say weird stuff because         “Caught lyin’” shows a lion chained to a wall
they’re slightly misinformed about something          and “Barely there” depicts a faint outline of a
and sometimes you try to steer them right a           teddy bear with “very clear eyes.” Her favorite
little bit,” said Thomas, “and they’re like, ‘Your    is “Spring Robbin’”. “It’s just a little robin, and
conception of the universe is clearly wrong—          I’m still happy because the robin actually looks
I’m seven, I know how it works.’ And you’re           like a robin,” she said. “And it has a little ban-     Kate Thomas ’05 works as a pair educator at Fairview Elementary School.      REBECCA TAYLOR
like ‘Oh no you don’t!’”                              dit mask on, and there’s just like a little bag of
     While Thomas had been interested in              money next to it. I thought it’d be a really fun       draw lines between her life on- and off-cam-          As she leaves Grinnell and improv for the
teaching at Grinnell, she decided to try work in      kids’ book thing,” she said.                           pus. “I’ve sort of made a concerted effort not     East Coast, students can assume she will ap-
the local school district before entering gradu-           As Thomas emphasizes, she’d rather watch          to make my social life around the college,” she    proach all her activities with the same dry and
ate school. “I didn’t want to pay $30,000 for         a movie or paint a picture than go out to par-         said, adding later that “most of my social stuff   funny attitude that has characterized her time
a master’s degree and then realize ‘Oh, totally       ties. This preference makes it easier for her to       is very activity- oriented.”                       here.

                                 Kate’s Picks: Five movie recommendations from Kate Thomas
         The Good the Bad and the Ugly                              High and Low                                                                               Wings of Desire
 “It’s great. Clint Eastwood wears a poncho in “It’s about this guy who’s really wealthy and                                                   “So, good I thought. Colombo is in it, Peter
 it. There is so much clothing lust that goes on he’s pooled all of his money and liquefied it …                                                Falk is in it. There were parts of it that I just
 when I watch old Westerns.”                       and his son is outside playing with the chauf-                                              thought were so cool.
                                                   feur’s son and the chauffeur’s son gets kid-                                                There are so many movies that are remakes
                                                   napped but they think it’s the rich guy’s son.                                              of foreign movies and I just want to say—No
        Valerie and Her Week of Wonders            And they make this huge ransom demand and                                                   Reservations? Mostly Martha.”
 “This weird Czechoslovakian new wave film the chauffeur can’t pay it and he has to beg the
 about this girl. It’s like this whole big analogy rich guy.                                                                                                      Martin
 for female sexuality, but it’s got these weird The first half is sort of a class-politics thing—                                               “It’s about this guy named Martin, and he
 whole layered mythologies in it and some bi- should he pay for the chauffer’s son? And the                                                    thinks he’s a vampire. And one of the linger-
 zarre sequences. It’s kind of a cool portrait of second half is this weird police investigative                                               ing questions throughout the movie is is he or
 how puberty and becoming an adult can be thriller … it’s that old-school police investiga-                                                    isn’t he?
 scary and exhilarating. You won’t forget it.”     tion stuff. There are like 17 movies who com-                                               The guys who plays Martin—he is so good.
                                                   pletely ripped off entire sequences [from High                                              He looks like a real person. He’s strangley
                                                   and Low].”                                                                                  charismatic for such a strange person.”
May 9, 2008
                                                                                      FEATURES                                                                    edited by Ali Sargent

Singing, spooning and sentimental seniors
Landlord issues aside, the moderately mellow Yellow House has had a drama-free senior year
                          BY SARAH ERVIN
     In a yellow house on Park St., seven girls eat chocolate
chip pancakes for dinner and sing along to the Rent sound-
track. Here, family dinners such as this are a weekly experience
for Julie Ault ‘08, Emily Carson ‘08, Meagen Scott ‘08, Anne
Eaton ‘08, Rachel Engh ‘08, Amanda Lewis ‘08, and Marta
Grabowski ‘08, the residents of 1429 Park St., or Yellow House.
The housemates said they take turns cooking–except for Car-
son, whose culinary skills include ordering pizza and picking
up beer.
     The girls, who came to live together through the network-
ing of mutual friends, have stayed tight-knit and drama-free
throughout the tribulations of senior year. “We’re a house that
has our shit together,” said Carson.
     Although seven students in a small house could be a recipe
                                           for disaster, the living
                                           situation has been ideal
  “We’re a house that has our shit forhousemate for every
                                               the group. “There’s
  together.”                               occasion,” said Ault.
                                                     you want to
                     Emily Carson ’08 “Whenthere’s someone
                                           studying. When you
                                           want to drink, there’s
someone drinking.” At this, all the girls look at Eaton and burst
into laughter.
     To ensure smooth sailing, the girls had a house meeting at
the beginning of the year. “We were like, ‘what are your quirks?
What really annoys you?’” said Scott. “Like how I hate cabi-
net doors being open, for example.” There were some intimate
rules established as well. “We also try to avoid house-cest,”
joked Eaton.
     Cuddling, however, is not only acceptable–it’s a Yellow
House staple. “We like spooning a lot,” said Carson, “But with
each other–not just anyone.” Of course, cuddling also has its
practical advantages. “It’s cold in the winter, but when we spoon
it’s not that bad,” said Grabowski.
       Residents said that the only source of anxiety for Yellow      Anne Eaton ’08 and Marta Grabowski ’08 cook dinner for their housemates in Yellow House, located on the corner of 10th Avenue and
House this year has been dealing with a difficult landlord. “It       Park Street. Will Boney ’08, a frequent visitor, looks on.                                                     CLARE PATTERSON
took him more than two months to fix our bathroom,” said
Ault. “And he stole my lamp ‘cause he said it was broken. He
didn’t give it back,” said Carson.
       But the girls find creative and productive outlets for their
frustration. “We wrote a song about him to the tune of I’ve
Been Working on the Railroad,” said Engh. “I guess we’re kind of
     On the note of singing, conversation at the table turned to-
ward the upcoming senior showcase, where the girls will per-
form for the first (and last) time as a house band. “No, I will not
play the cowbell!” laughed Scott.
     Only a few of the girls can actually play an instrument, but
they said they’re not concerned. “We’ve only really practiced
twice, but we’ll practice more,” said Eaton, “Plus, we’re already
really good!”
     When not cooking studying, or practicing for their question-
able band, the girls play their official house game, “Liebrary”–
in which players create fake opening lines of famous books–or
watch the official house movie, “The Holiday.” “I think ‘work
hard, play hard’ is the motto of the house,” said Grabowski.
     Half-inflated balloons are scattered around from last week’s
pride parade, and the walls of the living and dining rooms are
still covered with paper snowflakes and colored lights from the
Christmas party they threw last semester.
     Over an empty 30-rack, a giant paper snowman with an
empty beer can taped to it guards the entrance to the kitchen.
“We’re going to have to hide some stuff when my grandma
visits,” said Lewis.
     When the girls graduate in a couple of weeks, they will all
go separate ways, with Grabowski going as far as West Africa
to join the Peace Corps. When the topic of moving out of Yel-
low House comes up, the girls grow uncharacteristically mel-
low. “We just love each other very much,” said Scott. Grabowski
agreed. “One of our friends said that we love each other too
much.”                                                                Yellow House members enjoy their weekly family meal in a tradition they have come to call “Mormon Monday”. Though none of the
                                                                      residents is Mormon, they liked the idea of coming together as friends once a week to share a meal.        CLARE PATTERSON
10                      &
               edited by Ali Sargent
            May 9, 2008

Cleveland Lounge: smoke-free, not community-free
                BY CHLOE MORYL                         “I don’t think it’s actually going to work for campus. “After you start getting fined, there’s
    The Smoke Free Air Act may be extin- the first few months,” said Cleveland resident only so much you can take until you find some-
guishing Cleveland Lounge’s cigarettes (see and lounge frequenter Ashley Bennett ’11. where else to go smoke,” said Saunders. “I just
story on page 1), but the lounge’s community “People are still going to smoke here.”                   feel like not having a smoking lounge is going
will likely continue to burn bright.                   Aja Saunders ’09, who lives in Dibble but to make people smoke more in their rooms or
    After Younker Pit lounge was converted frequents the lounge, agreed. “I                                                   in the loggia.”
into the Stonewall Resource Center in the think they will listen—just not “Not having a smoking lounge                             Even without the
summer of 2007, Cleveland First lounge be- at first,” she said.                                                               smoking lounge, resi-
came the only lounge on campus to provide              Another issue of speculation
                                                                                         is going to make people smoke        dents said Cleveland will
shelter to this campus’s many smokers.             is what will become of Cleve- more in their rooms or in the                still maintain at least a
    But as of July 1, the law will effectively ban land’s expensive smoke ventila- loggia.”                                   spark of its old culture.
smoking in both public and private buildings, tion system.                                                                    “I seriously doubt it will
including Grinnell’s cherished haven of smoke.         Even if changes are made                           Aja Saunders ‘09 have the same culture,”
But students question security’s success in en- to the building, the residents                                                said Kenyon, “but I don’t
forcement, and maintain the belief that using themselves will probably make                                                   think it’ll [revert] to a
Cleveland as a smoking lounge may be the few changes until Grinnell Security takes se- normal dorm lounge or a normal computer
hardest habit to break.                                                 rious action. “It really de- lounge.”
    “The thing is, most of “It’ll be like any other issue with          pends how security decides         Though smoke may be absent, many of the
Cleveland lounge culture is                                                                            same faces will appear in Cleveland lounge next
built around having smokers       security—there are some secu- to enforce [the law],” said year. “So many of the kids that live here now are
around and having a place rity personnel that’ll be stringent               Some students doubt living here next year,” said Mac Pohanka ’08.
to hang out and smoke or
write a paper and smoke,”         and some security personnel that whether that serious “It’ll “Not a lot of people knew [the law] was going
                                                                        forcement will occur.
                                                                                                       to affect Cleveland.”
said Cleveland resident Van will be lackadaisical.”                     be like any other issue with       But a smoke-friendly environment wasn’t
Kenyon ’10.                                                             security—there are some the only advantage drawing students to the
    With so many students                          Van Kenyon ‘10 security personnel that’ll be residence hall. “Cleveland is an exception for a
accustomed to using the                                                 stringent and some security lot of reasons,” said Pohanka, “it’s not just be-
lounge during inclement weather and at all personnel that will be lackadaisical,” said Ke- cause it has a smoking lounge.” It seems the old
hours of the night, it remains uncertain wheth- nyon. “It’ll probably be similar to a drug issue.” adage applies: you can take the smokers out of
er residents and Cleveland frequenters will            If security does crack down, Grinnellians Cleveland, but you can’t take the Cleveland out
obey the new law–at least initially.               will likely see more smoke in other areas of of the smokers.
May 9, 2008
                        S B policies
 No limits: expanding neutrality
                                                                                           OPINION                                                                edited by Morgan Horton

 Jim Malewitz ‘09 thinks that the dining hall should remain neutral on matters of pride
    If you hear the word “neutrality,” what          this issue has nothing to do with ideological        with someone on the weekend, I cannot ex-
images come to mind? Besides perhaps a pre-          intolerance.                                         hibit pride in a characteristic which I do not
World War I Woodrow Wilson or a crossed-                  In close examination of this situation, I       hold. This is the concept these flags represent
out Fox News logo, I’m guessing this concept         would bill it as a clash between pragmatism          – pride in a personal attribute exhibited with-
paints a whole lot of nothing upon your men-         and ideologically-motivated narrow sighted-          in a respectable campus group. The colored
tal slate.                                           ness.                                                stripes specifically represent diversity within
    But while neutrality may seem to represent           As said in the article, Dick Williams, di-       the LGBT community, not our population as
a rather dull topic, this unassuming concept         rector of Dining Services, administration ex-        a whole. I would not be offended by the pres-
took center stage in a conflict two Fridays ago,     ercises neutrality “in order to respect the rights   ence of pride flags in the dining hall. But just
illustrating a reactionary narrow-sightedness        and beliefs of all students.” But as per one flag-   as I may a Canadian, South African or Mem-
which sometimes plagues members of our               bearing student, this explanation simply “up-        phis Grizzlies flag, I would question their ap-
campus.                                                                              set” the group,      propriateness.
    As reported by                                                                                                                                              Things to Check Out in Town
                                                                                     who construed            What if the dining hall chose to abandon
the S&B last Fri-                                                                    it as an accusa-     its practice of neutrality? Would it go unno-
day, a group of stu-                                                                 tion that “people    ticed if I set up a small nativity set by the plat    Friday, May 9, to Thursday,
dents were denied                                                                    would be of-         du jour as Christmas approached? How about                    May 15, 2008
access to the dining                                                                 fended by the        a crescent moon and star for Ramadan? And
hall because they                                                                    flags.”              don’t forget to hang an effigy on Guy Fawkes         Grinnell Community Theatre
planned on dis-                                                                          Arguing in       Day.                                                   presents the Big Five-
playing pride flags                                                                  this      manner,        The dining hall could turn into a mad-             OH!: The dinner theater
within its walls.                                    the flag-sneaking students have completely           house, adding at least a few more minutes to           production will take place at
    Dining Services refused them entrance by         missed the policy’s sound logic.                     my wait in line for the blue light special.            AJ’s Steakhouse on Friday,
citing that the planned display would have vi-           Perhaps this is just another case in which           This is why the principle of neutrality ex-        May 9 and Saturday, May
olated the hall’s previously-established policy      ideological fervor has prohibited a group of         ists — to enable all students to enjoy chicken         10. Doors open at 5:30 p.m.,
of neutrality. But in typical Grinnell fashion,      students from looking at a situation with any        nugget and macaroni day without controversy.           dinner is served at 6 p.m.,
the students involved defiantly snuck the flags      semblance of open-minded rationality.                With its carnivorous, vegetarian and vegan op-         and the show starts at 7:30
into the dining hall and petitioned adminis-             While the LGBT movement may have                 tions for everyone, the dining hall continually        p.m. Tickets are available
trators to change the long-standing rule in          many champions on campus, it isn’t appropri-         goes the extra mile in tolerating our diverse          at Brown’s Shoe Fit. Adults
question.                                            ate to treat participation as a universal value.     and often fickle pallets.                              $25.00, Seniors & Students
    This episode comes on the heels of a simi-           Whether or not you deem it your obliga-              So what shall we take from this contro-
lar quarrel over whether or not the adminis-                                                                                                                     $20.00.
                                                     tion to exhibit gay pride, the simple reality is     versy? While it is easy to get caught up in the
tration should permit students to display the        that not everyone possesses this same emo-           fervor which may accompany the passionate
pride flag on the outside of campus mailbox-         tion. For herein lies the key operative in Wil-      support of a cause, we shouldn’t let it cloud our    Bike Trail Ribbon Cutting:
es.                                                  liams’ s explanation of the dining hall’s policy:    overall sense of rationality.                          Don’t miss the first 2nd
    So let’s get to the root of this conflict. Are   it protects “all students,” not just a specific          We all have our priorities, but not all of         Saturdays event of 2008!
we to look at this issue as another obstacle         group. While tolerance should be universal,          them coincide. While observance of the quiet           Choose from a 5k run-walk,
impeding the forward progress of the LGBT            pride is personal.                                   principle of neutrality may prove annoying for         a timed event, or a 5k, 10k
community? Do these policies showcase a                   I accept people regardless of race, creed,      outspoken members of our campus, it exists             or 20k recreational bike
lack of understanding on the part of Dining          sexuality or preference of baseball teams            for a greater reason.                                  ride. This year’s kickoff will
Services? Should we view the flag bearers as         (unless they cheer for the Yankees). But this            It is irresponsible and irrational to expect       be at 10 a.m. on Saturday,
the Rocky Balboa to the administration’s Ivan        doesn’t mean that I should be expected to ex-        to change a broad set of well functioning rules        May 10, following Imagine
Drago?                                               hibit pride in all Hispanic bisexuals, practic-      simply to accommodate one person or group.             Grinnell’s ribbon-cutting
    I understand the students’ passion in sup-       ing Judaism whilst cheering for the Toronto          But by simply stepping back and taking time            ceremony. The ceremony
porting and defending the LGBT cause —               Blue Jays.                                           to peer through some pragmatic peepers, we             starts at 9:30 a.m. @ Lions
especially in light of the circumstances gov-            While such characteristics would have            will be much better able to stop and smell the         Park (8th & Sunset). For
erning this semester. But to the objective eye,      no bearing on whether or not I chillaxed             gooey butter bars.                                     more information, please
                                                                                                                                                                 call Imagine Grinnell @

                                                                                                                                                               Kites Over Grinnell Festival:
                                                                                                                                                                 Mark your calendars for
                                                                                                                                                                 Kites Over Grinnell to
A last word from the managers of Lyle’s pub                                                                                                                      take place in Grinnell on
                                                                                                                                                                 Saturday, May 10th. There
                                                                                                                                                                 will be a breakfast at
    In last week’s issue of the S & B, the pub       tial investments.                                    majority of earnings in tips. Our menu is
was depicted as mismanaged and disorga-                  Last week’s article appears to question          limited to items we can prepare in our mi-             Veteran’s Memorial Building
nized. In their article, Katie McMullen and          our experience and foresight in terms of             crowave and toaster oven—the two items                 at 7:00 a.m., a kite parade
Matt Zmudka asserted that the pub “faces se-         managing a start-up business. As managers,           budgeted for which actually matriculated               at 11:00 a.m., and a mass
rious issues concerning sales ratios, financial      we draw from a wide background in food-              (originally, the pub was also budgeted for a           ascension of kites to follow.
solvency, and management communication.”             service. We have served students and faculty         restaurant-quality deep-fat fryer). We have            Visit http://kitesovergrinnell.
They imply that we have failed to cope with          at Café Phoenix, Grinnell Coffee Company,            also been constrained in the amount of hours  for the
“start-up costs, unfamiliar markets, and un-         Lonnski’s Pub and Deli and Grinnell Col-             we are open.                                           complete festival schedule
tested organization strategies.” In response,        lege Dining Services to familiarize ourselves            In less than three months of being open,           and more information on
we—as graduating managers—would like to              with our market. Manager Susan Klumpner              the pub has hosted a number of community               events.
state our perspective on the progress of the         helped run Lawrence University’s Campus              events, such as concerts by Vegetable Medley
pub under our tenure, our analysis of current        Pub. In many of these businesses, we have            and Con Brio, a reception for Senior Chal-           GRMC Annual Fund Drive
finances and our vision for the future of the        held leadership positions, helped train em-          lenge, a Departmental Trivial Pursuit tour-            Letter Signing: Monday,
pub.                                                 ployees, maintained operations in the ab-            nament and weekly Quizzo. Some nights,                 May 12th from 5-6:30 pm
    When the pub conducted its experi-               sence of managers, managed finances and              the pub has been filled nearly to capacity,
mental opening February 16, a substantial            participated in the opening of new ventures.         other nights we have entertained only a few
                                                                                                                                                                 at the Grinnell Golf and
portion of the current deficit had already           We integrated these experiences into our             regulars. We have experimented with both               Country Club. For more
accrued, according to figures provided by            design of the pub.                                   hours and offerings in an effort to promote            information contact Mindy
Accounting. Indeed, the majority of this                 Furthermore, the pub’s challenge is to           food sales and gauge our own market.                   Uitermarkt at 236-2961.
figure appears to constitute start-up costs,         create a space on campus that is accessible              We envision the pub as a community
such as the $5,465.80 spent in equipment             and enjoyable to as much of our campus               space, a vehicle for campus unity. We want           UPCOMING EVENTS:
acquisitions this semester, the $2,357.10            community as possible. A city ordinance              to reach sustainability expediently, but not
spent in taxes, insurance and licensing costs        states we must maintain a sales ratio of a           at the expense of quality of service in our          Farmers’ Market: The East
and the $1,811.70 in wages dispensed in the          maximum 50% alcohol sales versus all other           opening period or our institutionalization             side of Broad Street between
month of February. After accounting for              sales in order to pemit entrance to 18-20-           as a campus fixture. We don’t see our debt             4th and 3rd Avenue,
sales and expenditures, we estimate our defi-        year-olds. We do not want the pub to be a            as insurmountable. This debt is quite man-             Thursday, May 22, 3 – 6
cit through February to be $13,230.42. A             dividing space on campus. In addition to             ageable and frankly typical for this kind of           p.m. and Saturday, May 24,
deconstructive analysis of the financial data        making the pub accessible to all we also             venture. The bottom line is that this is your          10 a.m. – Noon.
on the pub creates a different picture than          want to achieve a certain level of financial         pub. It takes the investment of a community
McMullen and Zmudka’s conclusion on our              sustainability. The pub pays a student wage          to build a place like this on campus.
progress. It takes capital to purchase infra-        of $7.50/hour whereas bars pay below mini-
structure, and it can take years to recoup ini-      mum wage and let their servers collect the                —Connor McGee ’08 and Jordan Lee ’08
12                         S B to the blog*)
           edited by Morgan Horton

 Stuff Grinnellians like (apologies
                                                                                                  OPINION                                                                                            May 9, 2008

      Campus Bikes off Loggias: Simply         moved by security for trying to start a            er evening than beer pong can provide,          this adjective before coming here, you’ve
 because it “seemed like a good idea at        fight because some guy “threw off your             Moose is always there. Plus we love the         probably been converted by now under
 the time,” we truly do enjoy the simple       groove?”                                           chance it provides to confuse opposing          the sheer frequency of its usage. What
 feat of hurling a campus bike off the             Hating on Cesar Pelli: We know that            basketball teams every time there’s a free      isn’t “sketchy” after all? Kum & Go hot
 2nd floor loggias. And putting back the       Italy is relaxed, at least in Mr. Pelli’s world.   throw.                                          dogs, alums, [gargjai].
 chains, of course.                            And to be honest, no one is really on time              [Plans]: Plans is to Facebook what              Squirrels: Grinnellians love squir-
      Complaining about Wal-Mart,              here. But eight weeks without clocks, just         McNally’s is to Wal-Mart. While we can’t        rels because they eat anything and ev-
 Then Going There                                                      cause he’s got a vision,   give up the convenience of knowing ev-          erything we give them. We love them
 Anyway: We know                                                       is irritating. He will     eryone’s birthday, Plans makes us feel all      because they think they are domestic
 it’s evil, really we                                                  live in infamy forever.    warm and cozy inside. Checked your              animals—and we wish they were.                     Critical issues
 do. But dammit,                                                            Hawkeye: The          planlove lately? Warm and cozy.                      Stalkernet: While sketchy (see                     resolved
 those prices are low.                                                 quick and dirty. Cost-          Prospies: We love Prospies because         above) neighbors must rely on Myspace
 Sorry McNally’s,                                                      ing a mere $11-13 a        after seeing the same faces for an entire       to get in their share of cyperstalking, here        On Monday, Johnny
 but Valu-mark spa-                                                    handle (depending on       year, it’s nice to try and get someone else     at Grinnell, db is all we need. Here’s to            Buse and Jai Garg
 ghettios for 50 cents                                                 if you’re classy enough    drunk for a change. Not to mention feel-        looking at [you].                                   polled 100 students,
 is too much to pass up.                       to shop at McNally’s or not), this is the          ing much older and wiser, even as a first-           Stephen Briscoe Emails: Without                      asking:
      Dining Hall Staff: For homesick          vodka of choice for those of us hell bent          year.                                           Briscoe’s gems of wisdom and warning,
 Grinnellians, there’s nothing more com-
 forting than the combination of food
                                               on making as many poor life decisions in
                                               as small of a time frame possible.
                                                                                                       Remembering the Forum: Even
                                                                                                  first-years reminisce about the good old
                                                                                                                                                  we would be forced to check weather.
                                                                                                                                                  com before leaving the house. With
                                                                                                                                                                                                    Filthcat or Waltz-
 and grandparental figures. So what if             The Idea of Self Governance: Finally           days of FX and the Forum Grill. Noth-           “thundersnow” and “unauthorized so-                     filth?
 Phil takes five minutes to swipe your         out of their parents’ houses and attending         ing like instilling fake nostalgia. Don’t you   licitors” plauging campus, Steve never
 p-card, and Betty and Marie sometimes
 turn fierce when they catch you trying to
                                               one of the “top” liberal arts colleges, we’re
                                               so progressive and socially responsible we
                                                                                                  miss CPP?
                                                                                                       RKO in short-shorts: There is
                                                                                                                                                  hesitates to use the handy campus-wide
                                                                                                                                                  email and is always ready to take a bite
 sneak out an extra piece of fruit. Those      should be the ones running the entire              nothing better than taking your “walk of        out of crime.                                         Filthcat
 sweet old smiles soften even the most         country, much less the school. But let’s           shame” at 5:30 in the morning only to                Categorizing and Memorializing
 jaded student’s heart.
      Harris: What’s not to love about
                                               face it, after a few shots of Hawkeye (see
                                               above), we aren’t even capable of govern-
                                                                                                  find RKO running through the east log-
                                                                                                  gia in his little red short-shorts. And those
                                                                                                                                                  Grinnell: Yeah, we know you disagree
                                                                                                                                                  with us. But hey, isn’t that the Grinnell                39%
 free booze, dry humping your fellow
 Grinnellians and getting forcibly re-
                                               ing our own gag reflexes.
                                                   Moose: When you feel like a classi-
                                                                                                  dogs always seem to be judging.
                                                                                                       Sketchy (word): If you weren’t a fan of
                                                                                                                                                  tradition at its best? We’ll miss [you]

Lay off the photographers                                       alter her handwriting; as she was one of only a few girls
                                                                in the class and worried that the professor would rec-
                                                                                                                                      ADVANTAGES OF ONLINE COURSE
                                                                                                                                  EVALUATIONS                                                         Odd Iowa Laws
      Please be nice to the S&B photographers. We               ognize her handwriting.                                               This approach to class evaluations would have                          A man with a
have nothing to do with the content of the newspa-                  PROBLEMS WITH THE CURRENT SYS-                                many advantages including the alleviation of all three               moustache may never
per. On Sunday nights we are given very vague as-               TEM                                                               major problems with the current system of course                     kiss a woman in public.
signments, often only “x event is happening at some                 First, class evaluations take time out of class. Instead      evaluations. This solution takes no time from end-of-                    One-armed pia-
point soon. contact y”, that we must decipher, ar-              of professor stalking through one last point before final         semester classes, allows students all the time they need             no players must per-
range, photograph and turn in by Wednesday. So,                 exams, they must either give up class time or hold a              to fully fill out the evaluations, and, most importantly,            form for free.
please don’t yell at, deride or mock us if we don’t have        class late. In rare instances, such as percussion ensemble        does not reveal students’ handwriting.
                                                                                                                                                                                                            Kisses may last
all the details. Also, please don’t take out your frustra-      this year, we were never even given the evaluations.                  Additionally, using this format would allow profes-              for no more than five
tion with the S&B’s reporting errors on us. I’m very                Second, evaluations crammed into the last few min-            sors to append any additional questions that go beyond               minutes.
sorry that you were misquoted, but it happens to us             utes of class results in hurried and less accurate feedback.      the scope of the standardized evaluation. Many profes-
too. We turn in our photographs with our name in                    Third is the handwriting issue. Even if professors            sors already do this as well as have midterm evalua-
the title and with the caption embedded in the file;            are give nevaluations after finalizing grades, it is almost       tions, and this would allow faster and more efficient
yet our photographs are often misattributed. It is a bit
sad to see a really cool photograph that you took be-
                                                                impossible to avoid taking classes from certain profes-
                                                                sors multiple times. This means that every negative
                                                                                                                                  data collection.
                                                                                                                                      Another advantage of online evaluations is that the
ing attributed to someone else, even if the someone is          or positive evaluation could still affect future student-         data would be crunched and displayed immediately by                ON [PLANS]
a good friend of yours.                                         professor dynamics.                                               PioneerWeb. This would remove the time required to
     PS: If you are going to be interviewed, you can and            AN ALTERNATIVE: ONLINE COURSE                                 “scantron” the data and would give professors the ad-
should insist that the reporter record the interview.           EVALUATIONS                                                       ditional option of even cross-tabulating or doing other               Thinly veiled
Very few of the S&B’s interviews are recorded, mak-                 The easiest way to fix these problems would be                more advanced data analysis.                                          threats! not just
ing the paper vulnerable to factual errors.                     to move evaluations onto PioneerWeb. This scenario                    In passing this idea by a few people, I have heard                the name of my
                                                                                                                                                                                                        future garage
                                    —Clare Patterson ’08        would look something like this. At 4:05 on the Friday             only positive responses, although it is open for criti-               band— i’ve had
Editors’ note: It is the S&B’s policy that all reporters        of hell week, every “course area” on PioneerWeb would             cism. An informal administrative inquiry gave me the                  to resort to
record their interviews. If this is not possible, they are      contain a class evaluation survey.                                impression that this system would not be hard to im-                  coercion to get
                                                                    Students would then have the next two or three                plement if the college chose to do so.                                my professors to
expected to check quotes with their sources.                                                                                                                                                            meet with me.
Fix prof. evaluations                                           weeks to fill out all their class evaluations. The single
                                                                biggest problem with this approachis making sure
                                                                                                                                      I see no reason why this system cannot be in place
                                                                                                                                  by the end of next semester, and I call on SGA’s cabi-
     A friend of mine recently sat in philosophy class          everyone fills them out; however, this could easily be            net-elect to push for the implementation of this system
filling out a class evaluation. While she stopped short         solved by requiring that evaluations be filled out before         by the end of next semester.
of using her left hand, sheconsciously felt the need to         students’ grades are released.                                                                      —Mark Root-Wiley ’09

                                                                                                                                                  The Scarlet & Black welcomes story ideas from students, faculty and
                                                                                                                                              other members of the town and college community. If there is any story that
                                                                                                                                              should be covered, please email
                                                                              May 9, 2008                                                         Send letters to the editor via email at or mail
                                                                                                                                              them to Box 5886. The author’s name must be included, but letters can be
                                                                                                                                              published anonymously in certain occasions upon request. Letters will be
                                                                                                                                              printed at the discretion of the editor. The S&B reserves the right to edit any
                                                                                                                                              and all submissions. The deadline for publication in Friday’s paper is Tuesday
   Editors-in-Chief                          Patrick Caldwell            Features Editor                               Ali Sargent            of the same week. Please do not include footnotes in letters to the editor.
                                                David Logan              News Assistant                               Johnny Buse                 The opinions expressed in letters to the editor, opinion columns and
   Ad Designer                                    Sean Miller            News Editor                                   Ari Anisfeld           advertising do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the S&B, SPARC or
   Arts Editor                               James Anthofer              Opinion Editor                             Morgan Horton             Grinnell College.
   Business Manager                               Sean Miller            Photo Editor                                  Ben Brewer
                                                                                                                                                  Advertising inquiries should be directed to the business manager, who
   Copy Editor                                 Neil Finnegan             Sports Editor                                     Jai Garg           can be reached at or by mail at Box 5886, Grinnell
   Design Editor                             Margie Scribner             Honorary Editor                                    Haterz            College, Grinnell, IA 50112.
                                                                                                                                                   Subscriptions to the S&B within the United States cost $25 per semes-
  The Scarlet & Black is published on Fridays by students of Grinnell College and is printed by Marengo Publishing Corporation. The           ter. Subscriptions outside the U.S. are $55 for surface mail and $85 for air
  newspaper is funded in part by the Student Publications and Radio Committee (SPARC) and also relies on advertising revenue to cover         mail per semester. Again, send all inquiries to Box 5886 or newspapr@grin-
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May 9, 2008                &
                        SPORTS                      13
Substances galore: improve your athlethic performance!
                                                                                         SB                                                                                    edited by Jai Garg

In their final appearance, our heroes proclaim how much and which substances to take before stepping up to bat
                BY JOHNNY BUSE                                                                                             BY J AI GARG
    Forget the combo of booze and baseball.          things the medically unenhanced could only             It was brisk autumn night, and the Bos-           a player strikeout or miss the game-winning
Major League Baseball needs another sort of          dream of: Jacked muscles, huge heads and in-       ton Red Sox were down 3-0 in the series, a            goal because of nerves.
pre-game substance added to the mix: ste-            flated stats. There’s nothing for the sports ob-   proverbial hell from which no team had ever               Consider a first-year, right before the first
roids.                                               server to hate.                                    emerged the victor. This, however, was no or-         game of the season, never having played col-
    Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for pre-game             In those glorious days of 1998, we trusted     dinary team, for in their arsenal they possessed      lege competition. Not only would the nerves
drinking. Whether the moderate, Gin & Tonic          McGwire and his intense work ethic as the          a source of power so great that they could not        be full octane, but also the lack of confidence
before a sweaty game of croquet back in the old      leading producers of his wide-girth biceps.        be stopped, a bottle of Jack Daniels. 25 shots        would be apparent to anyone watching.
country, or the excessive, kegs and 40-year-olds     When his steroid use became evident, part of       of Jack and 3 hours later, the Red Sox had                Now, let’s consider the same first-year af-
at a summertime slow-pitch softball game, im-        America pulled the plug on their hero. Detrac-     defeated the sober and uptight Yankees. Jack          ter a shot of Jack. What one would see is a
bibing is a great way to make otherwise point-       tors and pretentious “purists” kicked McGwire      and the Red Sox did not look back, as they            more relaxed and confident individual, ready
less sports enjoyable, and even exhilarating.        to the curb and                                                                reeled off 8 wins in      to conquer and defeat the opponent at a mo-
But when there are faithful fans such as my-         with the trash. The                                                            a row on their way        ment’s notice. All of this, without the harm-
self watching a sport, I want to see something       chances of him                                                                 to vanquishing the        ful side effect of being drunk, while still hav-
more than the sauce. I want the juice.               making the Hall of                                                             86-year-old curse         ing the attributes necessary to succeed in the
    Steroids, while illegal, saved baseball. After   Fame after smash-                                                              that plagued them.        sporting world.
the 1994 strike, baseball was slowly slipping        ing the sweetest                                                                   It doesn’t mat-           I am confident that there are many ath-
out of America’s conciousness. Players came          record in baseball?                                                            ter if it’s a beautiful   letes who have consumed alcohol right before
off as greedy, games as boring, and the whole        About nil.                                                                     Sunday afternoon          a game and righteously so, as there are no
sport as distant. Then, transported out of the           But why? Why                                   baseball game or a Saturday night at Harris,          NCAA rules against it.
cess pool of California and dropped under the        do we shun baseball users and their steroids? Is   American’s love drinking. In fact, per capita             There is no one who can argue consum-
great blue Midwestern sky, Mark McGwire              there anything more exciting than a 500 foot       we consume 2.24 gallons of grain alcohol a            ing alcohol before a game does not have a
landed as a savior in St. Louis.                     home run? By banning steroids, we prevent          year, a staggering number considering all             plethora of benefits, including alleviating the
    McGwire was huge and he could hit, far.          already Ruthian players from becoming some-        those among us who don’t indulge in the nec-          hangover from the night before.
He was a serious B.A.M.F., and captivated            thing greater and even more badass. With the       tar of the gods.                                          So even though your coaches might not
America as he chased down the comparatively          issue of steroids, we should turn to baseball’s        Studies have shown that alcohol increases         approve, next time your lacing up your shoes
weak Roger Maris. He brought baseball roar-          most pure fans-children. And I promise you,        blood flow to the brain and in moderation             before the big game, reach into your gym
ing back to life with his 70 home runs, and          next time you’re watching a baseball game, find    is even good for your heart. Given its physi-         bag, kick back a couple shots and win one for
ticket sales and fandom have been riding high        your 6 year old cousin/sister/babysitee and ask    cal benefits, it’s surprising that alcohol con-       home team.
since.                                               them what they want to see happen next. I          sumption isn’t more prevalent in the sport-
    Steroids give professional baseball players      promise you they’ll say a home run.                ing world. For too many a time, I have seen

                                                     Run, Swim, and
                                                     Bike for Charity!

 Carpe                                               On Sunday, May 4, the
                                                     annual Grinnell triathlon
                                                     took place. The profits from

 Scrotum                                             the event will be donated to
                                                     Bike and Build, which raises
                                                     funds for affordable housing

                                                     Women’s Results:
                                                     1st Place College Student

     YOUNKE                                          Lara Meyer ’11 (1:18.04),

             R                                       1st Place Non-College

    10 P.M.*                                         Student Nettie Vaverka
                                                     Men’s Results: 1st Place
                                                     College Student Anders
                                                     Ahlberg ’10 (1:02.42), 1st
                                                     Place Non-College Stu-
                                                     dent Andrew Broadmoore
  *Wear a togA.                                      (1:09.22).
                                                     1st Place Relay: Glenn
                                                     Clark ’10, History Professor
                                                     Rob Lewis, David Mont-
                                                     gomery ’10 (:58.19).
                                                                                                          Anders Ahlberg ’10 won Sunday’s triathalon with a time of 1:02.42.                CONTRIBUTED
 14                    S B for CMT awareness
            edited by Jai Garg

David Paige ’09 to swim marathon
                                                                                                PORTS                                                                                   May 9, 2008

                 BY A LI SARGENT                      trate on it I can feel it.”
    When David Paige ’09 was just eight years             There is no known cure for CMT, and the
old, doctors told him that by the time he turned best way to fight off the muscle deterioration
22 he would be unable to walk. Now 21, not is to remain extremely physically active. “Fitness
only can Paige walk, but this August he hopes to has always been this huge part of my life,” said
swim a marathon distance of 26.2 miles to raise Paige.
awareness for Charcot Marie Tooth (CMT), a                Aware of what his son was going to face,
disorder he has been overcoming his whole life. Paige’s father was extremely proactive and taught
    According to the Charcot Marie Tooth As- Paige to swim at an early age – the one form of
sociation, CMT patients slowly lose normal use exercise that couldn’t be taken away from him.
of their feet/legs and hands/arms as nerves to “I learned to swim when I learned to crawl,” says
the extremities degenerate and the muscles in Paige. He was swimming competitively by the
the extremities become weakened because of age of six, and has been an active member of the
the loss of stimulation by the affected nerves. Grinnell swim team for the past three years.
Many patients also have some loss of sensory              “He is definitely one of our most energetic
nerve function.                                       and spirited team members,” said Hurley, who,
    Both Paige’s father and grandmother suf- aware of Paige’s disorder, has never seen it im-
fered from CMT, and since the disease is inher- pact him. “He’s never complained. He’s never
ited, Paige was tested and found positive for it used that as a crutch,” Hurley said. “There’s
at birth. Even as a child, Paige felt the effects of never been any way that [CMT] has changed
his condition. “Every kid wants to be the stron- his involvement with the team because he won’t
gest and fastest,” he said. “I was always super let it.”
clumsy.”                                                  Indeed, most Grinnell students, including
    This summer, Paige has decided to take mat- Paige’s team members, probably had no idea
ters into his own hands, he will raise awareness that Paige had any kind of disorder, due to his
for CMT by swimming a marathon. “I wanted active involvement. And while that attests to
to do something over the top. Something that’s Paige’s success in combating the disease, it also
kind of larger than life,” said Paige. “I wanted highlights the main difficulty in dealing with
people to sit up and be like ‘wow, that’s a long the disease, lack of awareness.
freakin’ way to swim’”.                                   Even though CMT is the most common
     26.2 miles is a long freaking way to swim. neuropathy (1 in 2700 people have it) very few
head swim coach Erin Hurley and Paige did the people have heard of it. This means that not
math, and 26.2 miles trans-                                                only is there a lack of support
lates into 890 full laps – a feat                                          for patients, but that there is
that should take Paige an es- “He’s never complained. He’s never a smaller community work-
timated 11 and a half hours. used that as a crutch, there’s never ing towards a cure. Paige said
But Hurley, who is helping                                                 that most medical progress
Paige develop his summer been any way that [CMT] has has come from doctors who
training plan, isn’t worried.      changed his involvement with the have CMT themselves.
“He’ll do it,” she said. “And team because he won’t let it.”                    Paige also sees his success
he’ll do it with style, class,
and pizzazz,” she said.
                                                                                      wake up call to the
                                                           Erin Hurley as a hugewho, when he was
    Paige’s two main goals in                       Head Swim Coach        just eight years old, laid out
swimming the marathon are                                                  his future as though it were
to raise awareness of CMT                                                  set in stone. “I think there
and offer support to others who have it. He is a global misunderstanding about this idea of
hopes “to speak to people with CMT and say disability,” said Paige. “That because you have x
‘don’t think for one moment that because you you can’t do y.”
have this disease you can’t do something.’”               Paige is where he is today entirely because of
    CMT wasn’t explained to Paige until he was his own strength and refusal to take his diagno-
eight, when doctors told him that he’d be wear- sis as an inevitable fact. “I don’t listen to a lot of
ing leg braces by age 17, and that by age 22 he doctors,” said Paige. “I do my own thing. I live              David Paige ’09 plans to swim a marathon for CMT-awareness.                    BEN BREWER
would no longer have the power to walk. While the way I want to live.”                                        ten on campus,” says Paige, adding that the fa- and people who don’t,” said Paige.
Paige hates the cliché that having CMT forced             So far, support for the marathon swim               cebook group he created to raise awareness for      This summer, Paige also plans to create a
him to grow up quick, he said, “It affected me has been tremendous. “I’ve heard form people                   his marathon has been “a great forum for people video documentary of his training. Students
very strongly.”                                       around campus that have started talking about           with CMT to talk about what it’s like to have are invited to join Paige’s facebook group and
    One aspect of CMT Paige has had to adapt it” said Hurley. She noted that the swim team                    CMT with people who don’t know what it is or check out the CMT Association’s website. But
to is the pain. “Most people who lose limbs will be an especially huge source of support.                     have no exposure to it.”                         the best way to help support Paige in shining
describe a phantom sensation, it’s kind of like “There are a lot of people on the team he’s made                  “I think ultimately what this is about is some more light on CMT? “Come to Obermier
that.” But it doesn’t hinder him on a daily basis. a real positive impact on.” she said.                      working towards building bridges and under- pool on August 30th,” said Paige. “And watch
“You habituate to it,” Paige said. “If I concen-          “I really appreciate the support that I’ve got-     standing between people who have this disease me swim.”

Health-concious dining puts stop to Cereal Bowl
Annual competition between athletes eating massive amounts of cereal in jeopardy if new location is not found
                BY M IKE K LEINE                  ity and image, Williams believed it best to                 served as a way to escape the vicious cycle of somebody’s got to do it.”
    When athletes have too much free time, not have this event take place. “We work very                      classes at Grinnell. Held a day before Hell               Swimmer Ian Warlick ’10 said that the
weird things happen. From hosting Block hard with nutrition, balance and eating disor-                        Week, it has served as a pleasant study break. Dining Service’s decision to withhold from
Party auctions to streaking on Mac Field, ders,” said Williams. “Then to have an eating                       “The Cereal Bowl has been going on since hosting the Cereal Bowl next year is due to
Grinnell’s athletes are good at                                         contest where you’re                  before I started work-                                              the “binge-eating” aspect of
finding interesting activities to                                       gorging your throat is                ing here,” said Bauman,                                             the competition. “Dick Wil-
pass the time. Among these ac- “The Cereal Bowl has been going not the image or the                           making the event over “My training consists mostly of eating liams and I came to a com-
tivities, the swim team, soccer on since before I started working presentation           dining               11 years old.                large meals very quickly ... Althogh I promise,” said Warlick. “We’d
team, frisbee team and cross                                            wants to be about.”                       While some athletes
country team compete at the         here.”                                  Safety has long                   train for the event, oth-
                                                                                                                                           wouldn’t recommend it to others. It’s have but next dining it would
                                                                                                                                                                                       it in the        hall this
                                                                                                                                                                                  year            year,
annual Cereal Bowl.                                     Lyle Baumen been a concern due to                     ers look at the Cereal       a tough life, but somebody’s got to need to be somewhere else.”
    Despite it being a time-hon-                                        the risk of choking; the              Bowl simply as a way to do it.”                                     Warlick mentions that next
ored tradition, the future of Ce-               Dining Hall Supervisor event has evolved over                 take their minds off their
real Bowl is in doubt as admin-                                         time to address these                 schoolwork. Tim Heder-                       Tim Hederman ’10 year, the Cereal Bowl will be
                                                                                                                                                                                  more inclusive, brining in
istrators, citing health concerns,                                      concerns. “They didn’t                man ’10, who is a return-                                           more sports teams and other
have prohibited future Cereal                                           always use cereal,” said              ing veteran, prepares in                                            student groups.
Bows from occurring in the dining hall.           dining hall supervisor Lyle Bauman. “They                   advance for Cereal Bowl. “My training con-                “[Cereal Bowl] is more of an instinct
    This year was the first time that Head used to use chicken patty parmesan, and I                          sists mostly of eating large meals very quick- sport,” said Warlick. “You either got it or you
of Dining Services Dick Williams became talked them into switching it to cereal.”                             ly,” said Hederman. “Although I wouldn’t don’t.”
aware of the event. For reasons of both liabil-       For many students, Cereal Bowl has                      recommend it to others. It’s a tough life, but
 May 9, 2008
                                                                                             SPORTS                                                                            edited by Jai Garg

   Hoofin’ It: students, faculty and community run for a good cause
    On May 3, the Grinnell College community participated in Hoofin’ It, a 5k Run/Walk benefiting the Mid-Iowa Community Action
    Group (MICA).MICA is a community organization that provides aid for low-income families, such as home weatherization assistance
    and propane fuel. The race took place at 10 a.m. at Merrill Park.                                          LAWRENCE SUMULONG

Tennis Teams reach for new heights at regionals
Men claim first-ever victory at regionals after winning the MWC championship, Women compete in regionals long after conference
                          BY SARAH ERVIN                                                                                                                                  BY JAI GARG
    For the first time in school history, the Grinnell Men’s Tennis          “There was a procedural error, but they have a wonderful shot         After winning the MWC championship in the fall, the
Team captured a victory at the NCAA Division III Tournament. for next year.” said Hamilton. “They’re definitely on the regional                Grinnell Women’s Tennis team had to wait till the spring sea-
With strong overall play the team defeated Westminster Col- and national radar.”                                                               son to compete in NCAA Regionals. Aside from Regionals, the
lege 5-0 in the first round of the tournament. Unfortunately, the            Despite the disappointment, the team was still happy with         team is looking forward to doing well next season.
team’s success was accompanied by some disappointment when its success at the Division III Tournament, capturing the his-                          With such a long break between conference and regionals,
doubles players Dan LaFountaine ’09 and Nate Fox ’09 had their toric first-time win. Hamilton cites improved team solidarity as a              the team was left at a disadvantage. “It’s really hard because most
invitation to nationals later revoked.                                   prime factor in its record-breaking success. “This team is unusu-     of the teams that were going to regionals have been playing since
    The invatation was rescinded in response to a protest from ally connected,” he said. “I can’t take credit for it, but it enhances          the end of January,” said Camila Alarcon Cordon ’08. “We played
Denison College. The protest was lodged because Coach Andy the playing, the traveling, the recruiting, everything.”                            really well considering the limited amount of practice time.”
Hamilton ’85 is a member of the committee that determines                    Following the victory, the Pioneers faced a challenge against         Even though the team had not played in sometime, the
player’s ranks. “The NCAA released the nationals selection, the number two-ranked D-III team in the nation: the Wash-                          team performed strong this spring, going 5-2 heading into the
which included Dan and Nate, on Monday                                                       ington University bears. Even though the          NCAA Division III Regional Tournament. “This spring season
afternoon,” said Hamilton. “On Tuesday, a                                                    Pioneers put fourth a valiant effort, they were   we played extremely well,” said Susan Klumpner ’09. “With the
team which was left off the invitation list filed “This team is unusually connected, I unable to overcome the Bears.                           exception of our Florida games, we won all of our matches be-
a protest due to me being involved in setting can’t take credit for it, but it enhances          The team ended the season with a 21-7         fore regionals.”
the rankings.”                                      the playing, the traveling, the recruit- record, including winning their 5th consecu-          Grinnell’s lineup changed substantially from the fall season,
    The committee evaluated the records of                                                   tive MWC championship. “We really came            as Maya Lipert ’09 went abroad and new doubles teams had
the two doubles teams and ultimately decided ing, everything.”                               together as a team this year,” said LaFoun-       to be formed. Even with those changes Grinnell played strong
instead to invite the other them. “[The com-                            Andy Hamilton taine. “Even though we had some heartbreak-              throughout opening round match, even though they eventually
mittee] determined that the other team held a                                                ing losses.”                                      lost to Coe College 5-0. “ If we presented our fall season lineup,
slight edge over Dan and Nate based on one                           Head Tennis Coach           Next year the team will struggle with the     we would have had a better chance,” said Klumpner. “We could
variable—record versus NCAA tournament                                                       losses of senior players D.J. Warden ’08, Jor-    have beat Coe 6-3 or 5-4.”
participants,” said Hamilton.                                                                dan Lee ’08, and Daniel Malarkey ’08. “Our            With the spring season now over, the women’s tennis team
    The overturning of the invitation did not                                                goal for next year is to challenge for the Mid-   is now looking towards next year, where they will be without
come as good news to the doubles pair. “The NCAA overruled west conference championship,” said Hamilton. “I also want to                       Cordon, Margaret Block ’08, and Rachel Engh ’08. Despite the
the regional committee, so we’re screwed.” said Fox. “There’s not provide a challenging schedule so that our top players can achieve           fact the team will be losing three seniors, there will be a new
much we can do now.” Their invitation was given to a team from the best regional ranking possible.”                                            crop of first-years to replace them. “We have two top recruits
Denison College, and they are now listed as “off-site doubles al-            With the Pioneers set to do well next year, many on the           coming next year,” said Klumpner. “We hope to put them first
ternates.”                                                               team have high expectations. “I’d like to see us pulling some wins    and second singles.”
    Fox and LaFountaine are already looking ahead to their se- against the top tier teams,” said returning singles player Sam                      With the infusion of new players, the team expects to repeat
nior years and their last bid for Nationals. “We were so close, we Raife ’10. “And continue our good performance at the NCAA                   as conference champions, citing team cohesion. “On the whole,
tasted it,” said Fox.                                                    tournament.”                                                          we have a great team dynamic,” said Alarcon. “We all have the
                                                                                                                                               same goals.”
Sarah Mirk ’08
               The Back PageThe Best Thing Since the Front Page                                                           BS
                                                                                                               Conjoined twins: why
                                                                                                               two brains are better
                                                                                                                    For those of you not lucky enough to have a palace single in Norris, be consid-
                                                                                                               erate of your roommate. I know, I know, you two get along great. You visited her/
                                                                                                               his parents at Christmas, even though you’re Jewish. I get it, you’re not just room-
                                                                                                               mates—you’re soul mates. But that doesn’t excuse the fact that you sometimes send
                                                                                                               your mate hate rays in his/her genderless sleep, and that you secretly resent them
                                                                                                               for their stench/superior social skills (depending on which half of the odd couple
                                                                                                               you are).
                                                                                                                    Now imagine him/her tagging along when you go home. And to the grocery
                                                                                                               store. And to the bathroom. You’ve entered the life of conjoined twins, of whom
                                                                                                               there are many happy and healthy sets throughout the world. One such set, with
                                                                                                               separate brains (and personalities) but a shared torso lives in my native Minnesota,
                                                                                                               where despite the fact that each twin controls one leg and one arm they are quite
                                                                                                               mobile—particularly since they recently got their joint driver’s license.
                                                                                                                    Another pair of conjoined twins, Brits this time, who were born conjoined at the
                                                                                                               head 18 months ago, are thriving nicely. Like all conjoined twins, they are unique
                                                                                                               people, and their mother explained (probably with a hilarious accent…take that, Ra-
                                                                                                               chel Fields!)                                                              that      her
                                                                                                               girls have to-                                                             tally differ-
                                                                                                               ent personal-                                                              ities. Their
                                                                                                               heads just                                                                 happen to
                                                                                                               be “zippered”                                                              together.
                                                                                                                    Now, try                                                              not to get
                                                                                                               too excited                                                                about this
                                                                                                               next       fact:                                                           there is a
                                                                                                               little bit of brain stuck in the zipper. The twins have a “bridge” of brain tissue con-
                                                                                                               necting them, leaving room for the possibility that they may be able to transmit
                                                                                                               thoughts between themselves.
                                                                                                                    How’s that for an invasion of privacy?
                                                                                                                    The level of connection, and arguably coolness, decreases from conjoined, to
                                                                                                               identical, to fraternal twins, and is downright boring between regular ol’ siblings.
                                                                                                                    While everyone knows that even identical twins have different personality traits,
                                                                                                               new research shows that they have genetic differences too.
                                                                                                                    Identical twins have the same DNA, but environmental differences can affect
                                                                                                               which genes are switched on or off, called epigenetic modification. A study of 80
                                                                                                               pairs of twins aged 3 to 74 showed that 50-year-old twins had 3 times the number
                                                                                                               of modifications as 3-year-olds, with especially large differences between twins who
                                                                                                               had spent most of their lives apart.
                                                                                                                    Even if they are separated at birth, all twins are, obviously, together in utero.
                                                                                                               Another study on twins showed girls with fraternal twin brothers, who are no more
                                                                                                               genetically related to each other than regular siblings, are impacted by the sex of
                                                                                                               their “womb-mate.”
                       LIVE JAZZ OUTSIDE OF THE JRC: There is nothing more                                          Girls with fraternal twin brothers are more likely to be “mannish” in a variety
                       refreshing than smooth jazz, swing dancing, a summer                                    of ways, including being aggressive, adventurous, and prone to road rage. This is
                                                                                                               because they are taking testosterone intravenously. All fetuses start out genderless,
                       breeze and the glow of the Joe Rosenfield Center at night.                              but at about 10-12 weeks after conception the soon-to-be male fetuses experience a
                                                                                                               hormone surge of androgens, encouraging his little sorta-overies to drop like a rock,
                                                                                                               and become the stones of little men.
                       GCCF PANCAKES: Free pancakes are one of the best things                                      It’s a good thing fetuses can’t talk. Can you imagine the whining? “Moooom-
                       in the world. It is too bad Grinnellians are so busy that                               mmm, Raymond’s hormones are on my side of the uterus again!” I personally can’t
                                                                                                               imagine sharing my luxurious living arrangements on campus, let alone the womb.
                       they have to stay up until 3 a.m. to eat them.                                          Moreover, I’d make a terrible conjoined twin. I’m really clumsy, but if nothing else,
                                                                                                               having another Darcy to compete with when eating or talking would not mesh well
                                                                                                               with my style of communication and consumption.
                        SMOKING BAN: It was bad enough when smoking was                                             On the other hand, when everyone else was sick of us sharing weird facts, we
                       resticted to specific areas on campus, but with the new                                 would have each other to whisper to late at night. “Hey Other Darcy, did you know
                                                                                                               that when the sea lion is gestating…” oh, it could have been wonderful. Thanks a lot
                       ban in effect, there is nowhere for students to smoke.                                  Mom, nine months in the womb, and all I got was a lousy placenta.

                       !!!@#8(&%>$$*?&!!!@!@!!#?&                              8th avenue needs a makeover                                  Don’t forget your laundry!!!
random                     ...Wait a second. Let me get this straight:
                       every member of the Grinnell Symphony Or-
                                                                                    8th Avenue between the JRC and Noyce is both
                                                                               the busiest and ugliest part of campus. 8th Avenue
                                                                                                                                                Please stop leaving laundry in the machines for
                                                                                                                                            ridiculous amounts of time. When I got there to-

 rants                 chestra worked our tails off putting together a         needs to be removed and the empty space filled with          day, there were already six wet piles, and when I was
                       performance of Britten’s War Requiem, a con-            plants, sculpture and places to sit. Hopefully the en-       done drying two hours later, they were still there,
                       cert which conflicted with Titular Head, and            dowment could provide for a giant Grinnell Pioneer           slowly getting colder and harder like Downy-fla-
                       this is how the S&B headlined the review of             centerpiece fountain . . . but I would be satisfied with     vored Jell-o. Maybe if it happens again I’ll just steal
  Students speak       the concert: “Grinnell Singers, other perform           a little green.                                              your clothes, how about that? Or maybe I’ll just
  about what’s on      War Requiem”? EXCUSE ME?!? Was our labor                                                                             dump them all in a pile on the floor and mix them
their minds in 142     less important than the Grinnell Singers??? Are                                                                      up. You could have a sweet little moment with the
  words or fewer,      we less of a Grinnell institution?!?! (How about                                                                     guy from down the hall, disentangling your lacy
and you’re invited!    the Grinnell Community Chorus??????) We all                                                                          underwear from his gym socks, bonding over how
If you have a rant,    worked our golly dang tails off, and all we get is                                                                   inconsiderate you both are. And when you become
     e-mail it to      that indignant lump with “others.” I... am.... so....                                                                two of the 98% of Grinnellians who marry each
 [hortonmo]. Com-      ANGRY!!!@#*(!&%^#$*&%$!*!!!@#@!#                                                                                     other and he turns out to be kind of a jerk, who’ll be
plaining in a public                                                                                                                        laughing then? I will, because you should’ve taken
                                                                                                                                            your laundry out on time.
  forum is always
more fun than do-
    ing it alone.
                                                            —Ian Orr ’08                                         —Howard Krohn ’08                                             —Julia Stewart ’10                                                         S&B on the Web                                              

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