The DIY Wedding Planner _12_

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The DIY Wedding Planner _12_ Powered By Docstoc
					It Is Your Wedding

One big mistake many engaged couples make is allowing others to be too
involved in the process of planning their wedding. This becomes a problem
when the others who are involved have strong opinions which do not
accurately reflect the couple. The opinions of the others may begin to
influence the plans for the wedding and will likely result in a wedding
which is not indicative of the tastes of the engaged couple. This article
will discuss a few ideas for how a couple can handle situations where
friends or family members are trying to control the wedding plans.

Perhaps one of the most difficult wedding planning situations occurs when
there is someone other than the engaged couple who is paying for the
wedding. The reason why problems tend to occur in this type of situation
is the friends or family members paying for the wedding, or contributing
to the cost of the wedding, expect to have a say in the planning process.
While it is certainly true that those paying for the wedding should have
some say in matters that affect the budget, they should not expect to
intrude on other aspects of the wedding planning. For example given the
size of the guest list, the people paying for the wedding may rule out
certain locations for the wedding because they will be too expensive.
However, where two locations are priced equally, the couple should be
able to decide between the locations based on their own personal

Unfortunately there are also many situations where the couple is paying
for the wedding themselves but friends or family members are still
intruding on the wedding planning process and trying to influence
decisions. While it is easier in these cases to tell the friend or family
member their opinions are not wanted than it is to do the same when the
friend or family member is contributing financially it can still create
problems. The friend or family member’s feelings may be hurt and it can
cause a serious rift in the relationship. The best way to avoid this
situation is to be clear from the start about the level of involvement
you wish the individual to have in the process of planning the wedding.
If this is not done and the pushiness of the friend or family member
becomes a problem it is best to deal with the problem immediately rather
than harboring resentment as the problem escalates.

Still another situation in which an engaged couple may feel as though the
plans for their wedding are out of their control occurs when the couple
hires a wedding planner who is presumptuous and makes decisions without
consulting the couple. This type of situation may also occur if the
couple hires a wedding planner but does not speak up about their needs,
wants and expectations. This may be because the couple has a hard time
speaking up, the wedding planner is overly pushy or a combination of the
two. Regardless of the cause of the problem, this is one of the easiest
situations to handle. This is because the couple can fire the wedding
planner if things are not working out. However, sitting down with the
wedding planner and discussing the issues first is idea. This way the
wedding planner has the opportunity to learn what the problem is and
attempt to correct the problem.
Finally, a couple should always be willing to do whatever is necessary to
maintain ownership for the wedding plans if they choose to do so. This
may mean making some difficult decisions but it can also greatly improve
the outcome of the wedding for the engaged couple. In a case where one
set of parents or both parents are contributing to the cost of the
wedding and being overly pushy about decisions it may be worthwhile for
the engaged couple to consider paying for the wedding themselves. The
couple may not be able to have as elaborate as a wedding but in the end
they will be happier with the results if they are free to make all of the
decisions during the planning process than they would be if they are
being influenced by others.