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					                                                                  THE FRANKLIN
                                                                  CONNECTION
                                                              Franklin Senior Center
                                                              10 Daniel McCahill Street
                                                              Franklin, MA 02038
                                                                     520-               520-
                                                              (508) 520-4945/(508) 520-4917 (fax)
                                                              http://franklinma.virtualtownhall.net/Pages/

           March, 2011                                        FranklinMA_Senior/index
                                                              Open Monday through Friday, 8:30 a.m. to 4:00 p.m.




                                    Franklin Council on Aging is 40!
    You are cordially invited to celebrate the splendid occasion of the Franklin
    Council on Aging’s 40th Anniversary! We hope you’ll join us for a com-
    memoration of the Council’s accomplishments and a look to the future of
    the Franklin Senior Center. Delicious hors d’ oeuvres will be served.
       Date/Time: Friday, April 8, from 3:00 to 5:00 p.m.
       Date/Time:
       Place: Franklin Senior Center, 10 Daniel McCahill Street, Franklin
      To Arrange Transportation: Call the Center at (508) 520-4945;
                   Transportation:
       transportation will be provided by GATRA.




                    Reading Never Sounded So Good!                           The Hallowed History of
                                                                                  Fenway Park
Do you or someone you know have trouble reading tradi-
tional print because of a disability? Whether the print is too    Did you know that Fenway Park turns 99 years old this
small and strains your eyes, or if you have trouble holding a     year and is the oldest major league baseball stadium cur-
book or turning pages, or if you have a reading disability like   rently in use. To get us in the mood for opening day, the
dyslexia or low-vision, you are eligible for free library ser-    Franklin Men’s Club is hosting “The Hallowed History of
vices from the Perkins Braille & Talking Book Library. Learn      Fenway Park” on Tuesday, March 15, at 10:00 a.m. This
about the extensive collection the library maintains and how      slide presentation covers the early history of Fenway Park
you can select reading materials and have them mailed to          through to the present day. The program is offered and
your home. Debby Smith, Library Outreach Coordinator,             narrated by Bob DeCoteau. Refreshments will be served,
will be with us on Tuesday, March 8, at 10:00 a.m. to pro-        and all are welcome to attend. Please call to sign up for
vide an overview of all the services the library provides.        this great show.
Please call to sign up for this exciting program.
Daily Activities
     Common Grounds Café: Open Daily (Café Closed on March 25)
     Breakfast - 8:30 to 10:30 a.m. for $2; breakfast meat is offered for $1 extra. Affordable Lunch - 11:30 a.m. to 1:00 p.m.
     Ben’s Bounty Gift Shop: Open Daily; 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.
     Computer Classes (Individual Instruction): 6 weeks for $15; call to sign up. Pool Table: Open Daily
                   MONDAY
                  Brain Gamers – Second & fourth Monday at 9:00 a.m.
                  Barber/Hairdresser - 9:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.; $10 for women/$8 for men
                  Painting Class with Aivars Zandbergs - 9:00 a.m.; $50 for 10 weeks
                  Open Studio Painting with Pauline Robinson - 1:00 p.m.
                  Mah Jong - American/Asian Mah Jong at 10:00 a.m./American Mah Jong at 1:00 p.m.
                  Mexican Train Dominoes - 10:00 a.m.
                  Italian Conversation Group - 10:00 a.m.
                  The Page Turners book discussion group - First Monday of the month at 11:00 a.m. This month’s book is:
                  The Red Thread by Ann Hood. The book is available at the Franklin Library.
                  Zumba Gold Aerobics - 12:00 p.m.; $3/free to ’Y’ members
                  Monday Movies - 1:15 p.m. - see schedule on page 5
                  Cribbage - 6:00 p.m.
                  TUESDAY
                  Cards & Cribbage – 9:00 a.m.
                  Chair Exercise - 9:30 a.m. ; $2
                  Busy Bee Crafts - 9:30 a.m.
                  Manicures with Rona - 10:00 a.m. to 2:00 p.m.; $8
                  Quilting for Beginners - 10:00 a.m.
                  Franklin Men’s Club - Third Tuesday of the month at 10:00 a.m.
                  Cardio, Tone & Sculpt - 11:00 a.m.; $3
                  Legal Clinic with Fran Small - March 15 at 12:30 p.m., by appointment.
                  Bingo, Cribbage Lessons - 1:00 p.m.
                  Low Vision Support Group - Second Tuesday at 1:00 p.m.
                  WEDNESDAY
                  Trailblazer Walking Club - 8:30 a.m.; meet at the Town Common
                  Drums Alive/ Wellness Beats - 9:15 a.m.; $3 /free for ‘Y’ members
                  SHINE (Serving the Health Information Needs of Elders) Counselor - 9:00 a.m.; by appointment
                  Quilting, Knitting Instruction, & Scrabble - 10:00 a.m.
                  Yoga - 10:00 a.m.; $5/free to ‘Y’ members
                  Chair Massage - 10:00 a.m. to noon by appointment; $10 for 20 minutes
                  Diabetes Support Group - last Wednesday of the month at 10:00 a.m.
                  Blood Sugar Tests: 2nd & 4thWednesday at 8:30 to 10:00 a.m.
                  Barber/Hairdresser - 12:30 p.m.; $10 for women/$8 for men
                  Line Dancing - Clare Shea (Advanced) 1:00 p.m.; $2.
                  THURSDAY
                  Blood Pressure - 9:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m.
                  Cards, Cribbage & Bridge – 9:00 a.m.
                  Busy Bee Crafts - 9:30 a.m.
                  Chair Exercise - 9:30 a.m.;$2
                  Current Events Discussion Group – 2nd & 4th Thursday at 10:30 a.m.
                  Line Dancing with Mary Lennon - 10:45 a.m.; $2
                  Tai Chi for Seniors with Michelle Cote - 12:00 p.m.; $5/free for ‘Y’ members
                  Bingo - 1:00 p.m.
                  FRIDAY
                  Whist, Woodworking - 10:00 a.m.
                  ZUMBA Gold Aerobics - 11:00 a.m.; $3/free to ‘Y’ members
                  Chiropractic Clinic – Third Friday of the month; 12:30 to 2:30 p.m., with Dr. Craig Julian. Call for an appt.
                  Podiatry Clinic – Fridays, monthly; 1:00 to 3:45 p.m. Date varies – call for an appointment.
                  TOPS Weight Loss Support Group - 1:00 p.m.
                  Pokeno - 1:00 p.m.
Upcoming Events
Wednesday, March 2: “Med Errors and You” will be presented by Wellness Nurse, Linda Hastings,
and Tricia Nyuen, Pharmacist, at 11:00 a.m. Get a better understanding of the nature of these errors and
learn what you can do to protect yourself. Please call to sign up.
Tuesday, March 8: The Perkins Braille & Talking Book Library overview at 10:00 a.m. See page 1.
Tuesday, March 8: Low Vision Support Group at 1:00 p.m. Call to sign up.
Wednesday, March 9 & 23: Blood Sugar Testing from 8:30 to 10:00 a.m.
Tuesday, March 15: “The Hallowed History of Fenway Park” at 10:00 a.m.; see page 1.
Wednesday, March 16: Caregivers Support Group meets at 4:00 p.m. with facilitators Carol Adiletto & Pat Coakley.
Respite for loved ones can be provided by calling to sign up. All caregivers are welcome!!
Thursday, March 17: Franklin Police host our Bingo game with great prizes and lots of fun. Join us for a great afternoon!
Thursday, March 17: Senator Richard Ross’ Aide, Jennifer MacNamara, holds office hours at 10:00 a.m.
Friday, March 18: Chinese Cooking with Chef John Teng at 1:30 p.m. Join John to learn how to cook Beef with Garlic
Sauce and then dine on this delicious dish. The cost is $3 per person; call to sign up.
Wednesday, March 23: Diabetes Support Group meets at 10:00 a.m. All are invited to attend.
Friday, March 25: Welcome Spring Party is planned for 10:30 a.m. We are serving a delicious ham dinner with scal-
loped potatoes with spring vegetables with entertainment with Johnny Guido. Please purchase your tickets by March 18.
Monday, March 28: Friends of Franklin Elders ‘Meet & Greet’ is planned for 9:30 a.m. The Friends of Franklin Elders
raise funds to help support Senior Center programs, services and activities. The Friends are looking for new members to
help them in their efforts. Join us and learn more about how the Friends help us!
Upcoming Events & Activities:
Searching for former Council on Aging members! If you know of someone who served on the Franklin COA in the past
40 years, please let us know so we can properly acknowledge their contribution at our 40th Anniversary next month!
Computer Tech Available: If you are having hardware or software problems with your computer, printer, etc. We have a
volunteer who can help for free! Call for more information.
Culture Club: We are still recruiting for our Culture Club, a group with shared interest in music, art & literature that will
plan fun activities. Please call to sign up.
“The Health Care Proxy: Making Choices About Your Health Care” will be presented on Wednesday, Apr. 13 at 11am.




                                                                                     Page 3
Outreach, Information and Referral
Health Care Reform & Medicare:
Medicare coverage has been improved because of the Healthcare Reform, now called the Affordable Care Act
(ACA). It is important to understand the changes, so you will be able to take advantage of them. If you have
prescription drug coverage through a Medicare Part D Drug Plan or a Medicare Advantage Plan (HMO or
PPO), during the coverage gap (donut hole) your drug costs have increased significantly. In 2010, as part of
the ACA, individuals in the donut hole were eligible to receive a $250 rebate on drug costs. If you were in the donut hole in
2010 and have not received your rebate check, contact SHINE. The ACA will close the prescription drug coverage gap
over time. This year, in the donut hole there will be a 50% discount on brand-name drugs and a 7% discount on generic
drugs. If you get into the donut hole and you are not receiving these discounts, contact SHINE. New this year due to the
ACA, Medicare now covers many preventive services at no cost. These free services include an annual wellness exam,
mammograms, colonoscopies and osteoporosis screenings. Also this year, the Affordable Care Act will provide qualifying
doctors and other health care professionals providing primary care to people on Medicare a 10% bonus for primary care
services. This will help ensure that those primary care providers can continue to be there for Medicare patients. To learn
more about your Medicare benefits, you can go to www.medicare.gov or the Medicare & You 2011 Handbook. Remember,
there’s a SHINE counselor at the Senior Center to help you understand your Medicare plans and to assist you in getting
your Medicare services. Just call for an appointment.
Free Cell Phone & Monthly Service is offered by Safelink Wireless to eligible households. Safelink Wireless provides a
free wireless phone and free minutes each month to qualified households under a government funded assistance program.
If you qualify, you will receive free wireless service, free wireless phone with an allotment of monthly minutes, unlimited
emergency calling and access to the largest pre-paid wireless provider in the country. If you receive food stamps, fuel as-
sistance, Medicaid, Supplemental Security Income (SSI), or Federal Public Housing Assistance/Section 8, you may be
eligible. Or you may be eligible if your total household income is below $14,040 per year for one person, $18,900 per year
for a two-person household, and $23,760 for a three-person household.
Fuel Assistance applications are still being accepted. If your gross annual income is $30,751 or less for a one-person
household or $40,213 for a two-person household, you may be eligible. Call to arrange to complete an application.
Domestic Violence Support Group: Are you or is someone you know living in fear? Abuse can be physical, verbal or
emotional. If you: find your self esteem diminishing, try constantly to avoid making someone angry, are no longer in con-
trol of your life (e.g. aren’t allowed to handle finances, kept from seeing family or friends), or you’re being blamed for what
is going wrong in your relationship, you may be a victim of domestic violence. Call Judith Gormley, LICSW, at 781-278-
6025 at Norwood Hospital to arrange for a confidential screening. This group is sponsored by the Community Benefits
Department of Norwood Hospital.
Caregiver Specialist: Are you a caregiver? Our Caregiver Specialist can help you learn how to best deal with the many
behaviors associated with dementia and improve communication with your loved one. Call for more information.
                                     -For more information on any of the programs noted above, please call
                                           Social Services Coordinator, Bob Fahey, at 508 520-4973-




Page 4
Supportive Day Program                                          Monday Movie Marquee
                        The Sunshine Club at the Franklin       Movies are shown at the Center on Monday at
                       Senior Center is a place where           1:15 p.m.
                       frail elders can receive individual      March 7: Secretariat (PG) A spectacular journey of an
                       attention and enjoy the company          incredible horse and the moving story of his unlikely owner,
                       of others. Fun activities, lively dis-   a housewife who risked everything to make him a cham-
                       cussions and gentle exercise             pion; with Diane Lane & John Malkovitch.
                       make for a stimulating day.
                                                                March 14: You Again (PG) For Marni, high school was a
If you care for a loved one who is frail, socially isolated,    horror movie, and her brother's wedding is the sequel when
has low vision or dementia, visit The Sunshine Club. To         her archrival comes back to haunt her as his bride. It's nice
learn more about the program or arrange for a visit, call       girl versus mean girl in this hysterical reunion; with Betty
the Supportive Day Program Coordinator, Carol Adiletto          White & Jamie Lee Curtis.
or Elaine McCann at 520-4945 for more information.
                                                                March 21: Burlesque (PG-13) Ali, a small-town singer,
We also offer a Caregiver Support Group on the third            takes her shot at stardom performing at a neo-burlesque
Wednesday of the month at 4:00 p.m. All caregivers are          nightclub in Los Angeles; with Cher & Christina Aguilara.
welcome to attend. (Participation in the Supportive Day
Program is not required.) Please call to sign up for the        March 28: Morning Glory (PG-13) A TV producer is fired
Support Group, and you can make a reservation for res-          from a local news program and her career begins to look as
pite care during the meeting if needed. This program is         bleak as her hapless love life. She finds a new job at the
supported through a generous grant from the Executive           last-place national morning news show and tries to revital-
Office of Elder Affairs.                                        ize the show; with Rachael McAdams, Harrison Ford, &
                                                                Diane Keaton.




       FOR TRANSPORTATION, call                                       FOR HOME DELIVERED MEALS,
           Kiessling Transit at                                     please call Tri-Valley Elder Services
    1-800-698-7676. Select Option #2                                        at 1-800-286-6640



With Appreciation To:
•   The Friends of Franklin Elders for funding our Grill Cook and the entertainment at this
    month’s party.
•   The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) for providing Tax Preparation
    Professionals to the Center.
•   TOPS (Taking Off Pounds Sensibly) group for a generous donation.
•   The Junior Miss contestants for helping at the Center and entertaining us as well. Good luck to all of them!
•   The Second Graders at the Benjamin Franklin Classical Charter School for donating Valentine goodies.
•   Lorraine McCosh, Gina Colasacco, Ernestine Vernaglia, Rowena Baker, Jane Coppola, Sheila Hooper, Maria
    Rodriguez, and Ann Gonyea for donating items to our Gift Shop.



                         An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she
                                           gets the more interested he is in her. -Agatha Christie

                                                                                     Page 5
Terrific Trips
   Date                      Destination                                                   Details                                                Cost
Wed.,                  Johnson & Wales                          See the history of hospitality and gastronomy at this $10 per person, includes
March 2              Culinary Arts Museum                       great museum which documents 5 centuries of food admission, a guided tour
                                                                and cooking. Lunch at the Old Grist Mill in Seekonk. and transportation.

Wed.,                   Live From Ireland;                      Enjoy Tony Kenny along with his daughter, Victoria, $47 per person; all inclu-
March 9              Irish music, comedy &                      & Sarah Rogers on violin. Comedian Joe Cuddy & sive.
                     dance at Venus DeMilo                      the Celtic Dancers. Corned Beef or Baked Haddock.

Wed.,               Boston Flower Show &                        See Spring’s fairest flowers and much more at this $21 per person; not in-
March 16           the No-Name Restaurant                       beautiful show!                                    cluding lunch.

Wed.,                 Parker’s Maple Barn,                      See maple sugar being made in the sugar house $5 per person; transporta-
March 30                      N.H.                              and enjoy lunch at the Maple Barn restaurant. tion only.

Mar. 31-            Cherry Blossom Season                       Includes: WWII Memorial, Lincoln & Jefferson Me-                     $569 ppdo
April 3,              in Washington, D.C.                       morials, Holocaust Museum, FDR & Korean Monu-                        $525 ppto
2011                                                            ments, Vietnam Memorial & Arlington Cemetery. Six                    $729 single
                                                                                                                                     All inclusive;$50           down
                                                                meals & lodging at Marriott in Annapolis Junction.                   payment

Wed.,                Liberace: A Legendary                      A phenomenal talent in a beautiful theater with $25 per person; not in-
April 6              Tribute at the Stadium                     luncheon at a restaurant TBA.                   cluding lunch.
                      Theater, Woonsocket
Wed.,                          Twin River                       Slots, simulcast & lunch options galore.                             $5 per person; transporta-
April 13                                                                                                                             tion only.

Wed.,                Cabaret Lulu Presents                      Great songs from Broadway and a delicious meal of $48 per person; all inclu-
April 27            “Music Maestro Please”                      Yankee Pot Roast or Grilled Salmon.               sive.
                      at Sturbridge Village
Wed.,                Anheiser Busch Tour     Tour the plant and grounds, get free samples and $5 per person; transporta-
May 11             lunch at the Lobster Boat enjoy a delicious luncheon.                      tion only.

Wed.,               Pete Michaels & Friends                     Enjoy Pete Michaels who’s appeared on Conan $45 per person; all inclu-
May 18                    at Luciano’s                          O’Brien, Comedy Central and more. He does com- sive.
                                                                edy, ventriloquism, and music to delight of all. Meal
                                                                choice is Chicken Parmesan or Baked Haddock.

Wed.,                     Shelburne Falls,                      Tour the beautiful Bridge of Flowers and sightseeing $5 per person; transporta-
May 25                   Bridge of Flowers                      in Shelburne Falls with luncheon spot TBA.           tion only.


Wed.,                  Odyssey Boston                           Enjoy a luxury cruise of Boston Harbor with a deli- $50 per person; all inclu-
June 8               Harbor Cabaret Cruise                      cious luncheon and terrific entertainment.          sive.



Payment is due upon sign up at the Senior Center. Seventy-two hours notice (3 business days) is required to receive a full refund for
day trips. Conditions vary for overnight trips. For more information, please call 508 520-4945.


Franklin residents are given preference for Senior Center trips. Out of town residents will be put on a waiting list and payment may or may not be required at that
time, depending on the requirements of the travel company. If there are any vacant seats one week prior to a trip, the waiting list will be used to fill those seats. At
that time, the trip list will be considered complete and no other riders will be accepted unless there is a cancellation , when the waiting list will again be consulted.
Payment for trips (for Franklin residents) is due upon sign up at the Senior Center. Seventy-two hours notice (3 business days) is required to receive a full refund
for day trips. Conditions vary for overnight trips. For more information, please call (508) 520-4945.
Friends of Franklin Elders
                                                                                   MEMORIAL DONATIONS
                                                                         Margaret Rettman in memory of Claire Darling
                                                                             Ethel Pizzi in memory of William Pizzi
          Join Us for a Meet & Greet on March 28                       Alice & Aldo Vendetti in memory of Cheryl Vendetti
FOFE is looking for new members! Join us for a Meet &
Greet to learn more about the Friends and what we do. The                  Anthony & Geraldine Luzzo in memory of
Meet & Greet is scheduled for Monday, March 28, at 9:30                      All Veterans Who Gave Their Lives
a.m. just prior to our meeting at 10:00 a.m. Refreshments            Nicoletta DiNunzio in memory of Sebastiano DiNunzio
will be served and all are welcome.
                                                                             Anita Gold in memory of Steven Gold
        The Friends of Franklin Elders – Thanks!
                                                                  Emanuel G. Bombolakis in memory of Adeline M. Bombolakis
The Friends of Franklin Elders would like to thank all of
those who have generously contributed to our Membership                     Yolanda Boyle in memory of Fred Boyle
Drive this year! The Friends is a private, non-profit organiza-   William & Marjorie Campbell in memory of Florence Robinson
tion whose purpose is to supplement local and state govern-
                                                                               Anita Mastromatteo in memory of
ment funding of the Franklin Senior Center by providing                         Raymond & Lisa Mastromatteo
funds for programs, services, and equipment.
                                                                             Pat Mahoney in memory of her mother
                                                                         Pauline Robinson in memory of Bill Robinson
                 GENEROUS DONATIONS
                                                                      Robert & Nancy Rappa in memory of Mamie Rappa
                      Mr. Garry N. Bean
                                                                          John R. Padula in memory of Sheila Padula
                    Larry & Janet Bederian
                                                                       Gloria Rollinson in memory of John A. Degregorio
                      Mary A. Henderson
                                                                        Elaine B. Rosetti in memory of William J. Rosetti
                        Paula Hunchard
            Robert A. Collemer & Joyce A. Collemer                            Sue Shluger in memory of Rita Sher

                       Vincent DeSanctis                                  Paul Tracey in memory of his wife, Dorothy

                       Paul A. Kennedy                                 Lorraine McCarthy in memory of George McCarthy

                          Alan Kober                                 Joe Pulsone in memory of Nick, Mary & Joan Pulsone

                     Joanne & Neil Roche                               Lucy Semerjian in memory of Garabed Semerjian
                       Mary Dobachesky                                   Rosina R. Bent in memory of Dot, Ralph & Iris
                          Chris Feeley                                Fannie Pizzi in memory of Anthony “Hank” Messere
                                                                   Steve & Marie Dalo in memory of Anthony “Hank” Messere
  Due to the overwhelming number of memorials and dona-                   Marion Arcaro in memory of Mario F. Arcaro
 tions, each contribution cannot be listed this month. Please
   be assured that they will be listed in subsequent issues.            Jean L. Bourbeau in memory of Henry Bourbeau
                                                                            Ray Brown in memory of Ellen & Louise
                  Friends of Franklin Elders, Inc.                       M. Theresa Budd in memory of George Budd
                   Mary Ginivan, Chairwoman                            Virginia M. Cataldo in memory of Henry C. Cataldo
                   Jackie Higgins, Secretary
                    Julie Garilli, Treasurer                       William & Priscilla Chesmore in memory of Deborah Keilty
                Natalie Caldwell  Ruth Chism                              Edith Chiodetti in memory of Alfio Chiodetti
                Claire Calderone   Rose Pepin
                Marge Capezza     Maria Rodriguez                  Richard & Priscilla Cornetta in memory of Patricia Lawton
                Barbara Caligaris Judy Pfeffer
                Carol Condon, Associate Member                           Virginia Dellorco in memory of Albert Dellorco

                                                                                         Page 7
  FRANKLIN COUNCIL ON AGING                         Friends of Franklin Elders, Inc.                                       Pre-Sorted

                   Officers:                        c/o Franklin Council on Aging                                           Standard

   Chairman……..……………… Bob Gagnon
                                                    10 Daniel McCahill Street                                             Franklin, MA
                                                    Franklin, MA 02038                                                    Permit No. 13
  Vice-Chairman…...…...……....Ken Norman
  Secretary………….…………..Barbara Deely
                  Members:
    Frank Harrigan         Mary Hick
    Stella Jeon            Paul O’Connell
    Nan Rafter             Betty Snyder
                  Staff:
Director ………………..……….……..Karen Alves
Program Coordinator…….…….…...Sue Barbour
Outreach Worker/Vet’s Agent…...…..Bob Fahey
Supportive Day Coordinators…….Carol Adiletto                                                  Franklin Senior Center
                            & Elaine McCann                                         “Independence, Information, & Connection!”
Supportive Day Program Aide…..Donna Brunelli
Health & Wellness Nurse……….Linda Hastings
Receptionists………..……….……...Claire Lewis                    The Franklin Council on Aging meets on the second Tuesday of the month at
                             Gloria Gelineau                 11:00 a.m. This is an open meeting and the public is invited to attend.
Driver…………………….....……....Phyllis Molloy              The mission of the Franklin Council on Aging is to:
Grill Cook………………….…...Pauline Kennedy                1) Identify the needs of the elderly population, aged 60 and older.
                                                     2) Educate the community, and enlist support and participation of all citizens about
   The Franklin Connection is distributed with           these needs.
 funds provided by the Executive Office of Elder     3) Design, promote, or implement services to fill these needs; to coordinate existing
           Affairs, and the Friends of                   services.
              Franklin Elders, Inc.


                                  The Lighter Side

                                                    OXYMORONS
                            •    Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand?
                            •    If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?
                            •    Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?
                            •    Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?
                            •    Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
                            •    Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
                            •    Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
                            •    Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
                            •    Why is it called "after dark" when it is really "after light"?
                            •    Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
                            •    Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
                            •    Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
                            •    Why is bra singular and panties plural?
                            •    Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
                            •    Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
                            •    Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
After being married for 44 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, "Forty-four years ago we had a cheap apart-
ment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10-inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot
25 year old girl. Now I have a $1,500,000 home, a $45,000 car, nice big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with
a 69 year old woman.” My wife is a very reasonable woman; she told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old girl and she
would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed and
watching a 10 inch black and white TV. Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve your mid-life crisis.

				
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