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VIEWS: 104 PAGES: 21

  • pg 1
									                                                                             SABRINA TEE 0142
                                                                                       Page 1




                SABRINA, THE TEENAGE WITCH
                                      EPS. 0142
                                    “Free Sabrina”


                 MUSIC IN:


                 INT. MAGAZINE OFFICES


SABRINA:         (READING) “…and although he‟s played his last gig
                 here on earth, Screamin‟ Hank Walters will be joining
                 Hendrix, Elvis, and maybe even Tupac…
SABRINA/COLE:    …for an all-star jam session in rock and roll heaven.”
SABRINA:         Did you read this obituary before I turned it in?
CHIP:            No, no, I‟m reading the one you wrote last week.
SABRINA:         Oh, right. Well, it is an obituary. It‟s not like they‟re
                 gonna complain.
JAMES:           Hey, it‟s no big deal. I re-use the same photos over
                 and over again. Of course, I had to stop when
                 people realized Queen Latifah never fought Lennox
                 Lewis.
SABRINA:         You know, when I got this job, I thought I‟d be doing
                 more interviews. But I‟ve covered more dead rockers
                 than vomit.
CHIP:            Can I just give you a little advice? Go out and find
                 your own stories. You write something decent,
                 Annie‟ll run it.
JAMES:           You write something indecent and she‟ll put it on the
                 cover.
SABRINA:         I guess if I wanna impress Annie, that‟s what I‟ll have
                 to do. You‟re right. I‟m gonna tell Annie I have
                 written my last obituary.
                                                                       SABRINA TEE 0142
                                                                                 Page 2



ANNIE:     Sabrina, get down to Boston General. There‟s a
           rumor Keith Richards is having chest pains.
SABRINA:   Can‟t I wait until he goes to the morgue? I have my
           own parking spot there.


                                                                      (CUT TO)


                                                                      (OPENING CREDITS
                                                                      OVER THEME SONG/
                                                                      ACTION UP AND
                                                                      OUT)


           MUSIC IN:


           INT. MONIQUE BOUTIQUE


                                                                      (MORE CREDITS
                                                                      OVER ACTION)
MORGAN:    What you‟re looking at now is the Morganwear Fall
           line.
MONIQUE:   I like these, but actually we‟re buying for Spring right
           now.
MORGAN:    Oh, not a problem.
                                                                      (SHE TEARS OFF
                                                                      SLEEVES)
MORGAN:    And now, you have scarves to match.
ROXIE:     Whoa, cute headband.
SABRINA:   That‟s a skirt. And I‟m guessing a great way to meet
           guys.
MORGAN:    I‟m telling you, these designs will be flying off the
           rack. Flying off the rack.
SABRINA:   Oh, oh, that‟s our cue. Oh, look, I love this blouse.
           Roxie, don‟t you love this blouse?
ROXIE:     Love it? I‟d like to be buried in it.
                                                                       SABRINA TEE 0142
                                                                                 Page 3



SABRINA:   That‟s right, Roxie. Because Morganwear works for
           every occasion.
                                                                      (SFX: PHONE
                                                                      RINGS)
MONIQUE:   Well, your friends seem to really like your stuff.
SABRINA:   Morgan, are we almost through here? I really should
           be out trying to dig up a story.
MONIQUE:   Actually, I really like your designs. Let me finish this
           call, and I‟ll place an order.
MORGAN:    I sold something! I sold something! I deserve a little
           treat. What do you think, Lexus or Mercedes?
SABRINA:   Ah, how „bout chipping in for groceries once in
           awhile?
ROXIE:     That‟s Babette Storm!
SABRINA:   Oh, yeah, she‟s in town shooting a film. Wow. She
           looks even better in person.
MORGAN:    Two words. Bo. Tox.
SABRINA:   Get out.
MORGAN:    She‟s pushing thirty, she‟s gotta do something.
SABRINA:   Hey, that‟s a great story, what an actress has to do to
           stay in the game. Now, how can I prove that she‟s
           using botox?
ROXIE:     Stick a safety pin in her forehead.
                                                                      (BABETTE PUTS
                                                                      SCARVES INTO A
                                                                      SHOPPING BAG)
SABRINA:   Ohmigod, did you see that? She just shoplifted.
ROXIE:     That‟s really sad.
MORGAN:    Yeah, it is. She stole from the clearance rack.


                                                                      (MUSICAL BRIDGE)


           INT. MAGAZINE OFFICES


ANNIE:     If I buy a box of Thin Mints will you go away?
                                                                        SABRINA TEE 0142
                                                                                  Page 4



SABRINA:   What if I had a story about someone who was
           actually alive?
ANNIE:     What have you got?
SABRINA:   Well, I saw Babette Storm last night at a boutique,
           and let‟s just say, she‟s no stranger to “the five finger
           discount.” That means shoplifting.
ANNIE:     Got any proof? That means you‟re a real reporter.
SABRINA:   Well, I saw it with my own two eyes. Hey, five
           fingers, two eyes. Maybe I can use that in my article.
ANNIE:     Look, I have no doubt this woman‟s a thief. Okay,
           there is no other explanation for her Oscar. But find
           a story you can back up.
SABRINA:   Well, I know for a fact she has had botox injections. I
           think.


                                                                       (MUSICAL BRIDGE)


           INT. SPELLMAN LIVING ROOM


SALEM:     Come on, cheer up.
SABRINA:   I can‟t help it. I‟m bummed. I mean, here I try to
           show my boss that I know what I‟m doing and I end
           up looking like an amateur.
SALEM:     Well, why don‟t you do what I do when I feeling
           down?
SABRINA:   Let strangers rub my belly?
SALEM:     Huh.
MORGAN:    Order the champagne. Monique just called, she
           wants to double her initial order of Morganwear.
SABRINA:   Congratulations. At least one of our careers is taking
           off.
MORGAN:    Oh, Sabrina, I don‟t have time for the “Annie is Evil”
           pep talk right now. I have fifty outfits to deliver. Oh,
           okay. Annie is evil, you‟re great, hang in there. Oh, I
           forgot the best part.
                                                                      SABRINA TEE 0142
                                                                                Page 5



SABRINA:   I‟m thin and beautiful?
MORGAN:    Oh, we‟re back to me now. Babette Storm ordered
           one of my dresses to wear to the press conference
           for her new film.
SABRINA:   You might want to sew in a LoJack.
MORGAN:    She‟s picking it up at Monique‟s on Thursday at one
           o‟clock. Now, because of this stupid cast, I am
           gonna need help with the sewing.
SABRINA:   Wait, she‟s going back to that boutique? Maybe I
           have another shot at that story. I just need proof.
ROXIE:     Hey, guys. What‟s going on?
MORGAN:    Hey, Roxie. Do you know how to sew?
ROXIE:     Sew? A needle pulling thread?
MORGAN:    Never mind. How about you, Sabrina? Do you want
           to work for me?
SABRINA:   Not even if the job was testing pie.


                                                                     (CUT TO)


           INT. MAGAZINE OFFICES


SABRINA:   All I need you to do is come with me to this boutique
           so that I can prove that Babette Storm is a shoplifter.
           You know, bring your camera, just sort of skulk
           around.
JAMES:     Now wait a minute. They tend to keep an eye on a
           brother just skulking around in a ritzy women‟s
           boutique.
SABRINA:   Fine, then give me your camera. I broke mine trying
           to kill a spider.
JAMES:     Maybe you do deserve a break. Actually, you remind
           me of myself when I came here. Young, naïve,
           desperate to succeed.
SABRINA:   I‟m not desperate to succeed.
JAMES:     Oh.
                                                                      SABRINA TEE 0142
                                                                                Page 6



SABRINA:   That is so not me. Please help me, James, please?
JAMES:     Okay, I‟ll help you.
SABRINA:   Thank you.
JAMES:     You know, ah, I‟ve done surveillance before.
           Dangerous stuff. Sean Penn whacked me right here.
           P.Diddy slapped me right here. Celine Dion got me
           right here.
SABRINA:   She hit you?
JAMES:     No, it‟s the Titanic theme, it, it chokes me up.


                                                                     (CUT TO)


           INT. SPELLMAN DINING ROOM


MORGAN:    Welcome to Morganwear. Congratulations. You
           girls have the thrill of working for a vibrant, cutting
           edge company focused on “Generation Now.” Now,
           don‟t be threatened working for someone so much
           younger and more beautiful than you.
MILDRED:   Oh, please. When I was her age, I had a rack you
           could bounce a wing nut off of.
ROXIE:     Where‟d you pick up the bridge game?
MORGAN:    This is my new work force. They‟re day laborers. I
           found them hanging out in front of the fabric store.
MILDRED:   We were waiting for a bus to Atlantic City.
ROXIE:     You know, Morgan, this looks like unfair labor
           practice. You can‟t hold people against their will.
MORGAN:    No, not all of them. I started with eight.


                                                                     (CUT TO)


           INT. MONIQUE BOUTIQUE


SABRINA:   Oh, there she is.
JAMES:     Really? She don‟t look like a thief.
                                                                            SABRINA TEE 0142
                                                                                      Page 7



SABRINA:   Oh, she also doesn‟t look like Harriet Tubman, but
           that didn‟t stop her from playing the part in that one-
           woman show. Okay, wander over that way and
           pretend like you don‟t know me.
JAMES:     Right. We all got Annie‟s memo about that.
BABETTE:   Wow, this is kind of nice. (CLEARS THROAT)
           Would, would this look good on me?
SABRINA:   Are you asking me?
BABETTE:   Yeah. Be honest.
SABRINA:   Well, it‟s a little “get out of the trailer, there‟s a twister
           a comin‟.”
BABETTE:   Oh, you‟re right.
SABRINA:   Um, but, you know, this blouse would look great on
           you, and at this price, it‟s a steal --- I mean a bargain.
BABETTE:   That‟s gorgeous. You have very good taste.
SABRINA:   Really? Thanks. Would you mind telling my boss
           that, and my roommates, and well, actually, can I get
           it in writing?
BABETTE:   I‟m Babette. My friends call me Babs.
SABRINA:   I‟m Sabrina. My friends call me Sabs.
BABETTE:   Oh…
SABRINA:   They don‟t really.
BABETTE:   Oh. Well, it‟s so rare that I meet someone down to
           earth and, and honest like you. Would you mind
           helping me pick out a few things?
SABRINA:   Really? Sure.
BABETTE:   And, you have to get that blouse. My treat.
SABRINA:   Okay, then I‟ll just try on this one little blouse. And
           this, and this. Ooh, I love this.
JAMES:     Because you are about the same size. Could you,
           ah, could you try this on for me?
MONIQUE:   Are you sure your mother wants this for her birthday?
JAMES:     Oh, yeah.
MONIQUE:   May I help you?
SABRINA:   Ah, do you have any changing rooms?
                                                                      SABRINA TEE 0142
                                                                                Page 8



MONIQUE:   You are standing right by them.
SABRINA:   Ah.
MONIQUE:   Some of these women are so dumb.
JAMES:     Hmm.
MONIQUE:   Okay. I‟ll try on the teddy for you.
JAMES:     Thank you.
SABRINA:   James, pay attention.
BABETTE:   I‟m working, I‟m working.
                                                                     (SABRINA/ BABETTE
                                                                     IN DRESSING
                                                                     ROOMS SIDE BY
                                                                     SIDE TRYING ON
                                                                     CLOTHES)
BABETTE:   I love buying clothes, but I hate trying them on, don‟t
           you? It takes so long.
                                                                     (MUSIC IN)
SABRINA:   Tell me about it. First you gotta try stuff on.
                                                                     (SFX: MAGICAL
                                                                     PING)
                                                                     (FX: OUTFIT
                                                                     CHANGES)
SABRINA:   And take them off.
                                                                     (SFX: MAGICAL
                                                                     PING)
                                                                     (FX: OUTFIT
                                                                     CHANGES)
SABRINA:   And then if you need another size you gotta go back
           and get another one…
                                                                     (SFX: MAGICAL
                                                                     PING)
                                                                     (FX: OUTFIT
                                                                     SHRINKS)
SABRINA:   Now it‟s small and overpriced.
BABETTE:   Oh, I look terrible in this one.
SABRINA:   Oh, I doubt that. You‟d look great in anything.
                                                                      SABRINA TEE 0142
                                                                                Page 9



BABETTE:   No, seriously, this one‟ll make me like a cow.
SABRINA:   It can‟t be that bad. Let me try.
                                                                     (SFX: MAGICAL
                                                                     PING?
                                                                     (FX: SABRINA
                                                                     TURNS INTO A COW)
SABRINA:   Ah, I see what you mean. Moo.
                                                                     (MUSIC OUT)
BABETTE:   What?
SABRINA:   I said, eew, you‟re right.
                                                                     (SFX: MAGICAL
                                                                     PING)
                                                                     (FX: SABRINA
                                                                     TURNS BACK TO
                                                                     NORMAL)
BABETTE:   Any luck?
                                                                     (MUSIC OUT)
SABRINA:   Ah, no, everything was either too clingy, too floofy or
           two paychecks. How about you?
BABETTE:   No, struck out.
SABRINA:   Really, huh?
                                                                     (EMPTY HANGERS
                                                                     IN BABETTE‟S
                                                                     STALL)
BABETTE:   So, listen, do you want to grab a bite?
SABRINA:   You want to go to lunch with me?
BABETTE:   Sure. I just, I feel like I have this connection with
           you. And it‟ll be fun.
SABRINA:   Well, I guess I could go to lunch. I already packed
           mine, but bologna keeps for a couple of days.
BABETTE:   Afterwards, maybe we‟ll swing by my spa. We‟ll
           make a day of it. Come on.
SABRINA:   Look, Babette, I have to be honest with you. I‟m a
           reporter for Scorch magazine. And that guy over
           there, he‟s a photographer. We‟re working on an
           article of you being a shoplifter.   At least I am.
                                                                      SABRINA TEE 0142
                                                                               Page 10



BREANNA:   What are you talking about?
SABRINA:   I saw you take something from here the other day. I
           don‟t want you to ruin your career over some trendy
           blouse that will look stupid in two weeks, so just put
           the stuff back and I‟ll forget about the article.
BREANNA:   You guys in the media are all alike. You try to tear
           us down to make your own lives seem less pathetic.
SABRINA:   No, no, no. I said I‟m not gonna write the article.
           And what makes you think I‟m pathetic? The
           bologna? „Cause it‟s not like I fry it.
MONIQUE:   Ms. Storm, is this woman disturbing you?
BABETTE:   (SIGHS) I‟ll be fine. Just get the dress I ordered so I
           can go.
MONIQUE:   Do not bother the famous people.
SABRINA:   But…
MONIQUE:   I think you better leave.
SALEM:     James?
JAMES:     (GERMAN ACCENT) My name is Dieter, unt I don‟t
           know this woman.
SABRINA:   Well, at least let me get my stuff.
MONIQUE:   I‟m really sorry, Ms. Storm. Please, consider this a
           gift from us.
                                                                     (MONIQUE PUTS
                                                                     DRESS IN HER BAG)
BABETTE:   Thank you.
SABRINA:   She was gonna take it anyway. I‟m telling you, she‟s
           got stuff in that bag. She‟s ripping you off.
JAMES:     Listen, if she had jacked merchandise, bells would be
           ringing and Gary Coleman would be searching her
           bags.
SABRINA:   Come on. And please don‟t tell anybody what
           happened. I really want to keep this very quiet.
                                                                     (SFX: ALARM GOES
                                                                     OFF)
SABRINA:   I didn‟t. I swear. James, a little help?
                                                                     SABRINA TEE 0142
                                                                              Page 11



JAMES:     Okay, but they‟re gonna do this for free down at the
           precinct.
                                                                    (HE SNAPS PICTURE
                                                                    OF SABRINA)


                                                                    (MUSIC UP AND
                                                                    OUT)


           MUSIC IN:


           INT. MAGAZINE OFFICES


SABRINA:   Good morning, Cole.
COLE:      Hey, how you doing, Sabrina? How‟s it going?
                                                                    (HE MOVES THINGS
                                                                    ON HIS DESK)
SABRINA:   So, you heard.
COLE:      I have no idea what you‟re talking about.
                                                                    (EVERYONE GRABS
                                                                    THEIR PERSONAL
                                                                    BELONGINGS)
SABRINA:   Okay, I‟m innocent!
ANNIE:     Just so you know, I just got off the phone with our
           publisher about your little escapade. He screamed
           for five minutes.
SABRINA:   He‟s pretty upset, huh?
ANNIE:     Oh, he was getting a deep tissue massage. But for
           some reason, he won‟t let me fire you. It‟s like you
           have some kind of spell on him.
SABRINA:   I don‟t. Oh, wait, hang on. No, I really don‟t.
ANNIE:     You know, you are very lucky you are not in jail right
           now.
SABRINA:   Yeah, because I‟d really hate to miss fall colors.
           Sorry, thanks for getting me off the hook.
ANNIE:     Yeah, well, you‟re on borrowed time.
                                                                    SABRINA TEE 0142
                                                                             Page 12



SABRINA:   Well, I was set up. She pretended to be my friend.
           She‟s a much better actor in real life than she is on
           the screen.
COLE:      Can I just give you some advice? Journalism rule
           number one: never get too close to your subject.
           Rule number two: never shoplift on company time.
SABRINA:   You actually think I stole something?
COLE:      Sabrina, it‟s cool. Everyone knows what Jonathan
           pays you. You do what you gotta do.
SABRINA:   Okay, first, I didn‟t “do.” And second, everyone
           knows what I make?
COLE:      Yeah, but hang in there. Congress is gonna raise it
           next year.
SABRINA:   James, hey, you were there with me. You know I
           didn‟t steal anything, right?
JAMES:     Hey, hey, relax. Just ignore them. Okay? You and I
           both know what happened. Besides, the camera
           don‟t lie.
SABRINA:   Thanks.
JAMES:     Ah, ha. This came out way better than I thought.
                                                                   (PICTURE OF
                                                                   SABRINA IN
                                                                   HANDCUFFS)
SABRINA:   James! Hey, I‟ve never been a bad girl before. I
           look kind of hot.


                                                                   (CUT TO)


           INT. SPELLMAN LIVING ROOM


                                                                   (SFX: TV B.G.)
MORGAN:    I don‟t hear sewing machines.    Come on ladies,
           back to work.
MILDRED:   But we were watching our stories.
                                                                       SABRINA TEE 0142
                                                                                Page 13



MORGAN:    Yeah, yeah. You‟ll be seeing the Guiding Light soon
           enough.
                                                                      (TV OFF)
MORGAN:    Come on, let‟s go.
                                                                      (DOOR OPENS/
                                                                      CLOSES)
MORGAN:    What are you doing home?
SABRINA:   Well, I had to leave work. I wanted a peaceful lunch
           without people leering at me like I was gonna steal
           their pickle.
MORGAN:    Sabrina, Sabrina, do you understand the
           consequences of your actions? What if Babette
           Storm found out that we were roommates and
           decided not to wear the dress to her press
           conference?
SABRINA:   Oh, I‟m sorry, Morgan. I was only thinking of myself.
MORGAN:    Thank God you have me as a role model.
ROXIE:     Hey, there‟s my favorite cause.
                                                                      (ROXIE WEARING T-
                                                                      SHIRT THAT SAYS
                                                                      “FREE SABRINA” ON
                                                                      FRONT)
SABRINA:   Oh, Roxie. Thank you. I can‟t believe you went out
           and had a T-shirt made up just for me.
ROXIE:     Well, actually I had it since I was kid. It used to say,
           “Willy‟” but I scraped it off. That‟s how much I believe
           in you.
SABRINA:   It could be worse, I suppose. It could say, “Spay and
           Neuter your Sabrina.”
ROXIE:     Come on, Sabrina. Get even with this cheap tramp
           actress. Call up the news stations, post the truth on
           her website.
SABRINA:   Maybe you‟re right. Maybe she has some other deep
           dark secret I could dredge up.


                                                                      (CUT TO)
                                                                  SABRINA TEE 0142
                                                                           Page 14




           INT. SPELLMAN KITCHEN


                                                                 (TYPING ON
                                                                 COMPUTER)
SABRINA:   Here she is. Look at this. Four years ago she was
           arrested for shoplifting. Whoa, how do you steal a
           tanning bed? Oh, first she stole a truck.
SALEM:     Geh?
SABRINA:   The charges were dropped. But I bet I could use all
           this stuff to force a confession from Babette.
           (TYPING) “Where is she now?”
                                                                 (SFX: MAGICAL
                                                                 PING)
                                                                 (FX: HOLOGRAM OF
                                                                 STAR TRAILER
                                                                 APPEARS)
SABRINA:   Look, it‟s her trailer from the movie set.
SALEM:     And there she is. What‟s she doing?
SABRINA:   What do you think? She‟s stealing cable.
                                                                 (FX: SABRINA
                                                                 DISAPPEARS)


                                                                 (CUT TO)


           INT. MOVIE STAR TRAILER


                                                                 (FX: SABRINA
                                                                 APPEARS)
                                                                 (SFX: KNOCK ON
                                                                 DOOR)
BABETTE:   Just leave my lunch and go.
SABRINA:   No, I‟m here to talk.
                                                                 (DOOR OPENS)
BABETTE:   Oh, it‟s you.
                                                                               SABRINA TEE 0142
                                                                                        Page 15



SABRINA:          What are we doing, “Hee Haw, The Movie?”
BABETTE:          Are you ready to apologize?
SABRINA:          Apologize? I was trying to keep you from getting into
                  trouble. Now everybody thinks I‟m a thief and a liar,
                  and an A-cup.
BABETTE:          I was stealing that bra for my sister.
SABRINA:          Look, you think just because you‟re a big star that
                  laws don‟t apply to you, Carla Bernstein. Well, you
                  know, you could have gotten me fired. You could
                  have ruined my career. And I am fully capable of
                  doing that on my own.
BABETTE:          Look, I, I, I didn‟t mean to get you in trouble. Would it
                  help if I called your boss and set everything straight?
SABRINA:          Actually, that would be great. And while you‟re at it,
                  could you tell her that you‟ll let me do a feature on
                  you for the magazine? And you know, you never did
                  buy me that blouse?
BABETTE:          Let‟s start with your boss.
                                                                              (SHE HANDS
                                                                              SABRINA HER CELL
                                                                              PHONE)
BABETTE:          Dial the number and I‟ll get on. I‟ll just be in my
                  trailer.
                                                                              (SFX: DIALS PHONE)
                                                                              (DOOR CLOSES)
SABRINA:          Thank you. (INTO PHONE) Hi, Annie? Sabrina ---
                  Spellman. The new girl? Look, Babette Storm has
                  something she wants to say to you. Hold on a sec.
                                                                              (SFX: KNOCK AT
                                                                              DOOR)
SABRINA:          Babette? Babs? Ellie Mae?
SECURITY GUARD:   Hey, ma‟am. We just got a call that someone stole
                  Ms. Storm‟s cell phone. Can I see that?
SABRINA:          Ah… (INTO PHONE) Annie? Yeah, she‟ll have to
                  get back to you.
                                                                 SABRINA TEE 0142
                                                                          Page 16



                                                                (HANGS UP)


                                                                (MUSICAL BRIDGE)


           INT. ANNIE’S OFFICE


ANNIE:     You are an embarrassment to this magazine.
SABRINA:   In my defense, you thought that before this
           happened. She set me up. Come on, why would I
           steal a cell phone? I have my own cell phone with
           way more minutes than anybody could possibly
           need. Of course, they‟re mostly nighttime and
           weekend minutes, but you know, what I really want…
ANNIE:     (OVERLAPPING) Please!
SABRINA:   What I‟m saying is, I didn‟t do it.
ANNIE:     Jonathan has managed to pull a few strings and Ms.
           Storm has agreed not to press charges as long you
           get help.
SABRINA:   Help?


                                                                (CUT TO)


           INT. MEETING ROOM


           SIGN READS: “WELCOME - KLEPT-ANON
           MEETING AT EIGHT”

SABRINA:   Help.
CLIFF:     You must be new here. Welcome to Kelpt-Anon. I‟m
           Cliff.
                                                                (PRICE TAG FALLS
                                                                OUT OF HIS SUIT)
CLIFF:     I fell off the wagon at Macy‟s on the way here.
SABRINA:   Think of it as a hundred percent off sale.
CLIFF:     Grab some coffee. We‟re about to get started.
                                                                       SABRINA TEE 0142
                                                                                Page 17



                                                                      (SFX: SOUND OF
                                                                      CHAIN)
CLIFF:     Everyone, we have a new member joining our group
           tonight. Ah, would you like to introduce yourself?
SABRINA:   Hi. I‟m, Sa-Sabs. Jane Sabs. And I am definitely
           not a kleptomaniac.
ALL:       (GROAN)
SABRINA:   I‟m not!
CLIFF:     Jane, we‟ve all been in denial. But sooner or later,
           you‟ve got to confront your demons.
SABRINA:   Oh, I‟ve confronted demons. Big, hairy demons like
           you‟ve never dreamt of. But right now, the demon I
           need to confront is Babette Storm.
CLIFF:     You know Babette Storm? I love her. I have been
           to all of her movies. All right, I snuck in, but…
SABRINA:   Well, she is a thief and a liar, and she was horrible as
           a submarine captain in that movie, “Courage Under
           Water.” Yeah, well, she‟s the one that belongs here.
           I‟m gonna prove it.
                                                                      (SHE GRABS
                                                                      WRONG PURSE)
SABRINA:   Ooh, sorry. I have one just like it at home. I swear.


                                                                      (CUT TO)


           INT. SPELLMAN DINING ROOM


MAY:       Hello, little Salem. Granny May got you some very
           special kitty candy.
SALEM:     Oh, thanks, sweetheart. Oops.
MAY:       Did you just speak?
SALEM:     Ah, no, it‟s the dementia setting in.
MAY:       Oh, thank God.
ROXIE:     Jeez, it‟s like a kiln in here. You‟re running a
           sweatshop. These conditions are deplorable.
                                                                        SABRINA TEE 0142
                                                                                 Page 18



MORGAN:        Oh, please it‟s good for them. It keeps them sharp.
               Ah, Jeanette, don‟t eat the thread.
ROXIE:         Workers have rights, too, you know. Come on, girls,
               you don‟t have to take this. Let‟s stage a walkout.
MORGAN:        Oh, nice try rabble-rouser. They‟re not walking out
               on me. I‟ve got their support hose.


                                                                       (CUT TO)


               INT. PRESS CONFERENCE ROOM


                                                                       (SFX: CAMERAS
                                                                       TAKING PICTURES)
BABETTE:       So in sum, I‟d say Never, Always is a story of hope,
               redemption, and love. Plus, you get to see my buns.
SABRINA:       Excuse me, excuse me. Press coming through.
REPORTER #1:   We‟re all press.
SABRINA:       Okay, then the shortest to the tallest.
REPORTER #2:   You always seem to bring out the best in your co-
               stars. How do you do it?
BABETTE:       Acting is like life. I always try to give more than I
               take.
SABRINA:       Oh, give me a break. I‟ve got a question, are you a
               shoplifter?
BABETTE:       Anyway, I‟ve played many different roles, and
               preparing for them is always about the search for
               truth. Kind of how I live my life.
SABRINA:       Uch, anybody got a shovel?
REPORTER #2:   Could you sit down?
SABRINA:       Okay, it‟s time for some straight answers.
               (INCANTS) Whisper, mumble, scream or shout, let
               the honest truth come out.
                                                                       (SFX: MAGICAL
                                                                       PING)
                                                                       (ALL TALK OVER)
                                                                          SABRINA TEE 0142
                                                                                   Page 19



REPORTER #1:   What was it like working with the up-and-coming star,
               Billy Pape?
BABETTE:       Ah, a dear, dear person, aside from his limited acting
               skills and unlimited body odor.
SABRINA:       Ah, is it true that you stole several garments from the
               Monique store?
BABETTE:       I cannot tell a lie. For some inexplicable reason, yes,
               yes I did.
                                                                         (TALKING OVER)
SABRINA:       And on Thursday, did you put clothes in my bag after
               I warned you that I was reporter doing a story about
               your shoplifting?
BABETTE:       Uh, guilty.
SABRINA:       That‟s all I got.
REPORTER #1:   What else can you tell us about, Ms Storm?
SABRINA:       Sorry, journalism rule number one, never give up an
               exclusive story.
REPORTER #1:   I thought rule number one was never get too close…
SABRINA:       (OVERLAPPING) Okay, so I haven‟t memorized all
               the rules.
                                                                         (TALKING OVER)


                                                                         (CUT TO)


               INT. MAGAZINE OFFICES


SABRINA:       And then I said, “sorry, never give up an exclusive
               interview” and I ran right here.
JAMES:         Yeah, we know.
COLE:          The press conference is webcast.
SABRINA:       Really?
ANNIE:         Want to see what you missed by running here with
               your exclusive?
SABRINA:       Ohmigod. Billy Pape showed up?
                                                                      SABRINA TEE 0142
                                                                               Page 20



BABETTE:   (ON WEBCAST) The lead in the film was originally
           Julia Roberts, but I gave her food poisoning, forcing
           her to bow out at the last minute. I also cheat on my
           taxes, and my husband. And I altered my father‟s
           will when I found out he left all his money to charity.
ANNIE:     You see how your shoplifting story kind of pales
           compared to this? Nice going.
SABRINA:   Don‟t hate me because I‟m her favorite. What? You
           got another rule for me?
COLE:      Well, since you asked. Journalism rule number four:
           never yell stop the presses unless you stuck in them.
SABRINA:   I guess I really blew it.
COLE:      Look, your instincts were right, you broke a big story.
           You just broke it for twenty other writers. You‟re
           gonna do great.
JAMES:     Hey, listen. I had a rough start, too. I mean it took
           Annie about a year before she stopped picking on
           me.
SABRINA:   Well, what changed?
JAMES:     You showed up.
SABRINA:   Finally, someone appreciates me.


                                                                     (FADE OUT)


           FADE IN:


           INT. SPELLMAN DINING ROOM


ROXIE:     Now that all your workers walked out, how are you
           gonna fill your orders?
MORGAN:    Oh, I found even cheaper labor.
                                                                     (SFX: SOUND OF
                                                                     SEWING MACHINE)
                                                                       SABRINA TEE 0142
                                                                                Page 21



                                                                      (FX: SALEM
                                                                      PUSHING THE
                                                                      PEDAL)
SALEM:                 Oh, ho, ho. Wait „til PETA hears about this.


                                                                      (CLOSING CREDITS
                                                                      OUT)


                                      * * * * THE END * * * *
Prepared by E.S.                                                      Printed in USA
Calvert Continuities                                                  Aired 10/21/02

								
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