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COPING WITH THE LOSS OF A BELOVED PET

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COPING WITH THE LOSS OF A BELOVED PET Powered By Docstoc
					 COPING
WITH THE
LOSS OF A
BELOVED
    PET


   Help, advice

  and information

  on what to do

  and how to deal

     with pet

   bereavement
          P   E   T   C   R   E   M   A   T   I   O   N       S   E   R   V   I   C   E   S




              WHEN YOUR
                                                                                                             It is fairly common for people           and comparisons can often lead to
                                                                                                          to experience waves of these                disappointment and further pain.
                                                                                                          emotions, which become less                 Getting a new pet is not a question
                                                                                                          intense over time. It may also be           of “replacing” a previous pet, but
                                                                                                          that a person’s reaction to the loss        rather one of investing one’s love


               PET DIES...
                                                                                                          of their pet may take them by               as a tribute to the love and
                                                                                                          surprise. An understanding of this          companionship that was shared
                                                                                                          process and the normality of                with the previous pet.
                                                                                                          grieving for a pet, as well as
                                                                                                          allowing them to grieve, may all                             SUPPORT
                                                                                                          ease the pain.                                 Devastating as the loss of a pet
    Jo-Ann Dono,                                                  Feelings of guilt and self-

                      S
                           adly, pet death is an inevitable                                                                                           may be, there are ways in which a
                           part of pet ownership. Even            questioning may also be                      GETTING ANOTHER                        person can ease the pain. Writing
  Head of the Pet          with this knowledge, however           overwhelming, particularly, if a                 ANIMAL                             letters or poems, putting together a
                      pet owners are often not fully              decision has been taken to
     Bereavement      prepared for their reaction                 euthanase a much loved pet.
                                                                                                             At various points during the
                                                                                                          grieving process, the question
                                                                                                                                                      book of memories, planting a rose
                                                                                                                                                      or finding some other way to mark
                                                                                                                                                                                                          HELP AND
                      following the loss of their pet.            Empty beds and food bowls,                                                          the life shared with a pet, can be
 Support Service,                                                                                         whether or not to take on another
                         Reactions vary from person to
                                                                  meeting people in the street, are
                                                                  painful reminders of the loss. It is
                                                                                                          animal may feel addressing. Again,          particularly helpful during this                     ADVICE
   offers help and                                                                                        there are no clear rules about when         difficult time. Grieving for a pet
                      person and depend on a number               also at this point that a period of                                                 need not be a lonely experience
                                                                                                          the most appropriate time will be,                                                              THE BLUE CROSS
                      of factors: the specific relationship       depression may ensue, when a                                                        and it can also be comforting for
 advice following     with a pet, length of ownership,            person feels devastated and unable
                                                                                                          if that is indeed what is decided.
                                                                                                          Some people miss the presence of            people to talk about their feelings
the loss of a loved
                      circumstances of death, support             to cope - sleep and eating patterns
                                                                                                          an animal, particularly, if there are       to others who understand some of                    One of Britain’s oldest
                      system for the owner and so on.             may be affected and it appears that                                                 what they are experiencing.
                                                                                                          no other pets in the household,                                                            animal welfare charities
                      For some people, the loss of their          nobody really understands. Full
      companion.      pet may result in a few days
                                                                                                          and will take on another pet fairly         Services such as the Pet
                                                                  acceptance of a pet’s death is a                                                    Bereavement Support Service exist
                      sadness and the shedding of tears.          gradual process but a time will
                                                                                                          soon. For others, there may be                                                                   providing advice,
                                                                                                          other emotional or practical issues         to provide confidential support
                      For others, the impact of the loss          come when a person feels less                                                       over the telephone.                                  practical care and
                                                                                                          that they will want to resolve
                      may be greater and feelings of              painful talking about the loss with
                                                                                                          before considering another pet.
                      sadness, despair, loneliness and            others, and is able to re-adjust to                                                                                                     charitable veterinary
                      even depression may last for
                      several weeks and months.
                                                                  the home environment without the
                                                                  pet, by removing food bowls and
                                                                  bedding etc. When the pain has
                                                                                                          “there are ways in which a                                                                 treatment for thousands
                                                                                                                                                                                                           of pets every year.
                          GRIEVING FOR A PET
                                                                  finally subsided and a person is
                                                                  able to reflect and talk freely about   person can ease the pain...”
                         Research and personal                    the happy memories shared with                                                      Trained volunteer befrienders are
                                                                                                          They may be in so much emotional
                      testimonies have shown that                 the pet, the path to recovery is well                                               available to listen to bereaved pet
                                                                                                          pain that they will want to avoid
                      grieving for a pet can follow a             underway.                                                                           owners with compassion and
                                                                                                          having to go through the process                                                                  SOCIETY FOR
                      similar pattern to that for a                                                       again, and therefore decide against         understanding, as they work
                      grieving person, although intensity                                                 it; or they may feel they are being         through their grief. All volunteers            COMPANION ANIMAL
                      and length may vary. Initial                                                        disloyal to the dead pet if they take       have lost pets of their own at some
                      reactions to the death of a pet                                                     on another pet. All these factors           point in their lives and are                         STUDIES (SCAS)
                      include numbness and shock,                                                         need to be carefully considered and         available to listen sympathetically
                      perhaps at the time of receiving a                                                  a person will know in their heart           and offer comfort and reassurance                     SCAS is a registered
                      terminal diagnosis, or for a short                                                  when the time feels right to                to pet owners when they need it
                      period following the death. It                                                      reinvest their love in another pet.         most.                                               charity dedicated to
                      almost feels as if the world has                                                    A useful guideline is when a person
                      stopped and it is difficult to take in                                              feels able to reflect on previous               The helpline is open daily
                                                                                                                                                                                                     increasing knowledge and
                      information and concentrate on                                                      happy times without being
                                                                                                                                                      8.30am-5pm, with an                                 understanding of the
                      tasks. This may be followed by a                                                    overwhelmed by the pain of the
                      period of denial - of the death or                                                  loss and, ultimately, feels                 answerphone outside these hours.                    relationship between
                      of the pain.                                                                        comfortable with the possibility of
                                                                                                          taking on another pet. If a new pet         The freephone number is                         people and companion
                         When the full impact of the loss
                                                                                                          is chosen, a person needs to be
                      starts to sink in, a person may
                      experience intense feelings of
                                                                                                          aware that the new pet can never            0800 096 6606.                                               animals.
                                                                                                          be exactly like the previous pet,
                      sadness, despair, pining, anxiety
                                                                                                          even if it is of the same breed,
                      and sometimes even physical pain.
                                                                                                                         P   E   T     C    R     E   M    A   T   I   O   N     S   E   R   V   I    C    E   S
                P   E   T   C   R   E   M   A   T   I   O   N   S   E   R   V   I   C   E   S

                                                                                                                                                              You can pay the full amount straight away
                                                                                                                                                              or, if you wish, by instalments, on a 12, 24

PRE-ARRANGEMENT                                                                                                                                               or 36 month basis.
                                                                                                                                                                 If you would like to find out more
                                                                                                                                                              about Premier Care Services, or get a
                                                                                                                                                              free, no obligation quote, you can contact
 P L A N S F O R T O TA L                                                                                                                                     the Premier Care enquiry line on
                                                                                                                                                              0870 60 70 706, between 9am-5pm Mon-
                                                                                                                                                              Fri, or visit the website at

   PEACE OF MIND                                                                                                                                              www.pcsonline.org.uk



        Anyone who owns a pet will understand the special joy that they can bring,
     the unbounded loyalty they show us and the fun and companionship they provide
      throughout their lives. In fact many of us have the same, or sometimes stronger,                 PCS will happily do this as soon as they are
                feelings for our pets as we do for other members of our family.                        contacted. However, others prefer to attend
    All of this makes it hard to face up to the fact that one day our pets will pass away.             the cremation personally and may wish to
                                                                                                       bring their pet with them, in which case
                                                                                                       they will be given a warm and friendly

                C
                          oping with the death          memorials available. When the time comes,
                         of a pet can be a              and this could be anytime of day or night,     welcome at the Chapel of Rest and will be
                         heartbreaking                  simply knowing where to turn, can              able to spend time in the wonderfully
                 experience. In a state of grief        in itself be a comfort.                        serene garden of remembrance.
                 it can be difficult to think              Sensible forward planning can help to          Premier Care Services offer a wide range
                 rationally and make the                smooth away some of the                        of caskets and urns to choose from, all of
                 right decisions about the              emotional stress that is felt                  which can be engraved for the return of
                 final care of a loyal                  at this time, so it is good                    your pets ‘ashes’. If you attend the
                 companion. For this reason             to know that there is a                        cremation you can take the casket home
                 it is vitally important for pet        service which at the end,                      with you but, if you feel that you don’t
                 owners to know in advance              provides the best care.                        want to, it will be returned to you within a
what options there are available to them,                                                              few days.                                                 PCS believe that the personal preferences
from the collection of the body from home                   Premier Care Services                                                                             you arrange for your companion should be
or the vets, or to the types of cremation               was established by PCS,                           Owners will often want to mark their                as individual as they are, so with a Premier
service and the choice of caskets and                   one of the leading national                    pets passing in a permanent way to remind              Care Services plan you have the flexibility
                                                        pet crematorium groups in                      them of the pleasure and fun that they                 to choose the arrangements that you want,
                                                        the UK, in order to give                       shared, perhaps by simply making an entry              with the reassurance of knowing that when
                                                        your pet dignity when the                      in the book of remembrance, held at the                the time comes nothing will be left to
                                                        time finally comes to say                      crematorium, or by investing in a quality              chance - everything you’ve planned will be
                                                        goodbye.                                       garden memorial.                                       carried out with the utmost professional
                                                           The issues of care and                         There is a selection to choose from,                care, giving you total peace of mind.
                                                        respect are key to the PCS                     ranging from a traditional engraved marble                Pre-arranging and pre-paying for your
                                                        approach. Recognising that the relationship    headstone to a beautifully oiled hardwood              pet’s final passing not only makes sound
                                                        between pet and owner is unique, PCS have      cross, complete with engraved brass effect             financial sense but will give you a feeling of
                                                        introduced the Premier Care Service Plan, a    plaque.                                                contentment. Don’t put it off, by acting
                                                        pre-arrangement, pre-payment plan                 Whatever arrangements are chosen, the               now you’ll take away the worry about what
                                                        designed for complete flexibility.             flexibility of the plan means these can be             might happen in the future and you can
                                                        The plan enables owners to choose the          changed at any time. Premier Care Services             simply get on with enjoying the fun and
                                                        specific arrangements that they want for the   will provide a firm quote,                             companionship of your pet today, after all,
                                                        final care of their pet. For instance, some    calculated according to current prices.                that’s what having a pet is all about.
                                                        owners will wish to have their pet collected
                                                        from home or the vets when they die.
                                                                                                                      P   E   T   C   R   E   M   A   T   I   O   N   S   E   R   V   I   C   E   S
Q
               P   E   T    C   R   E   M   A   T   I   O   N   S   E   R   V   I   C   E   S



                                                                                                      How are my pets
 YOUR QUESTIONS                                                                                       ashes returned?
                                                                                                         All clients are given a choice of


   ANSWERED                                                                                           of wooden caskets with brass nameplates
                                                                                                      or handmade bone china urns.



    When the time finally comes to bid farewell to a faithful friend there will obviously
         be a number of questions you will want to ask to set your mind at rest.
        Here are a few of the questions we at Pet Cremation Services find to be                                                                              Can we have a plaque as a
                               the most frequently asked.
                                                                                                                                                             memorial to our pet?
Who and where are                                                                                                                                               Yes, we can arrange a variety of
                                                                                                                                                             memorial plaques. A small selection of the
Pet Cremation Services?                                                                                                                                      garden memorials are pictured below.
   PCS have been providing a service                                                                                                                         A larger selection of memorials are shown
                                                                                                                                                             later in this leaflet and on our web-site at
to both the veterinary industry and the                                                               How can I be sure I have                               www.pcsonline.org.uk
general public for the past thirty years.
   Due to our excellent standard of                                                                   received my own pet’s
service and understanding of the public’s
requirements, we now have three                                                                       ashes?
crematoriums strategically situated
throughout the United Kingdom which                                                                      This is the most common question that
service veterinary practices, issuing this                                                            we get asked. The answer is that we have
booklet.                                                                                              several crematoriums placed around the
                                                                                                      country dedicated to the purpose of
                                                                                                      individual cremations. If you still have
                                                                                                      reservations, you are more than welcome to
                                                                                                      visit the crematorium at the time of the
                                                                                                                                                             What times are you open?
                                                                                                      cremation, where you can also utilise our
                                                        What should I do if my pet                    chapel of rest facilities.
                                                                                                                                                                You can reach us Mon-Fri between
                                                                                                                                                             office hours or alternatively follow the
                                                        passes away?                                                                                         instructions on our answer phone service,
                                                                                                                                                             or visit our web-site.
                                                           You can contact us through your
                                                        veterinary surgery or direct on
                                                        01604 740 220.
                                                                                                                            Phone: 01604 740 220
                                                        What are my options?                                                  Fax: 01604 740 737
                                                           We can either collect your pet from your
                                                        local veterinary surgery or directly from                        Web-site: www.pcsonline.org.uk
                                                        your home using our Premier Care Service.


                                                                                                                     P   E   T   C   R   E   M   A   T   I   O   N    S   E   R   V   I   C   E   S
               P   E   T   C   R   E   M   A   T   I   O   N   S   E   R   V   I   C   E   S




                       A FITTING                                                                                          GARDEN MEMORIALS
                                                                                                          This is only a small selection of the tastefully designed garden memorials
                                                                                                available through Pet Cremation Services. For more information please call 0870 60 70 706
                                                                                                                         or visit our web-site at www.pcsonline.org.uk


                        TRIBUTE                                                                                           THE DERWENT STONE
                                                                                                                          A traditional marble
                                                                                                                          headstone. This long
                                                                                                                          lasting tribute can be
                                                                                                                                                                                     TEESDALE MEMORIAL
                                                                                                                                                                                     The most popular
                                                                                                                                                                                     standard memorial
                                                                                                                                                                                     we offer. Finished in
                                                                                                                          engraved with your                                         a black marble effect
                               The passing of a loved pet can leave an enormous gap in our                                own words of                                               laminate, complete
                               lives. The time you shared together was special and can                                    remembrance. Available                                     with a securing stake.
                               never be replaced. But there are a number of ways your pet                                 in black marble with                                       The brass effect plaque
                               can be remembered.                                                                         white text or white                                        can be engraved with
                                                                                                                          marble with black text.                                    up to three lines of text.
                                  Many pet owners would like some form of memorial for
                               their pet, a memorial helps you remember your loved friend
                               and can be a great source of comfort - it is a reminder of all                             THE RICHMOND                                               THE DURHAM
                               the joy your pet brought to you during the time you spent                                  PLAQUE                                                     CROSS
                               together.                                                                                  A solid Brass plaque                                       A beautiful oiled
                                  The simplest memorial could be a favourite photo,                                       engraved with your own                                     hardwood cross,
                                                                                                                          personal inscription.                                      complete with a brass
                               enlarged, framed and printed onto a special                                                The plaque is screwed                                      effect plaque that can
                               textured material - or even a complete dedicated photo                                     to an oiled hardwood                                       be engraved.
                               album depicting your memories.                                                             plinth and is attached to
                                                                                                                          a 380mm securing stake.
   Another popular memorial is to position something in the
garden, a plant, a pot or possibly, a dedicated plaque.
   As pet lovers ourselves, we understand the emotional
attachment between owner and pet and for that reason we can                                                               PLINTH                                                     GILDED
offer you a lasting reminder of your companion - a range of                                                               & STAKE                                                    CROSS
beautiful memorials personalised for your pet, some of which are                                                          A quality oiled                                            This unique design has
shown on the opposite page.                                                                                               wooden plinth                                              been specially developed
                                                                                                                          incorporating a large                                      where a few simple
   We have a wide range of garden memorials from plaques,                                                                 area for your special                                      words are preferred.
crosses, rosebowls and pawstones - each tastefully designed and                                                           engraved tribute.                                          The gold coloured
individually engraved with your pet’s name and your special                                                               Attached to a 320mm                                        markings on the face
message or private thought.                                                                                               securing stake.                                            reflect the sun’s rays.

    We know a memorial can never fill the gap created by the loss
of a pet but sometimes it can help
to ease the pain by providing a                                                                                           WALL PLAQUE                                                PAWSTONES
fitting tribute and constant                                                                                              A quality oiled                                            All available in 3 colour
reminder of a trusted friend who                                                                                          wooden plaque                                              finishes - terracotta,
filled a special place in the life of                                                                                     incorporating a large                                      slate and buff with
you and your family.                                                                                                      area for your special                                      a large personalised
                                                                                                                          engraved tribute.                                          engraving plate. Can be
                                                                                                                                                                                     fixed flat into a patio
                                                                                                                                                                                     area, flat in borders or
                                                                                                                                                                                     cemented into a wall.

                                                                                                               To view a full range of our memorials visit our web site at
                                                                                                             www.pcsonline.org.uk, or call for a brochure on 0870 60 70 706

                                                                                                              P   E   T      C   R   E   M   A   T   I   O   N   S   E   R   V   I   C   E   S
                 P   E   T    C   R   E   M   A   T   I   O   N       S   E   R   V   I   C   E   S




    S AY I N G G O O D B Y E
               At PCS we know the loss of a pet arouses feelings of disbelief,
             hopelessness, resentment and grief that all seem too much to bear.
 That is why we ensure that nothing is left to chance and every wish for your pet’s passing
       is undertaken, with the dignity they deserve and the reassurance you require.
 Here are a few of the many letters, poems and comments from the Book of Remembrance
          at our own Chapel of Rest from people we have helped to say goodbye.

   Thank you very much for all you did for us
on the day we lost our beloved pet Douglas, on                                                                   GOODNIGHT JOEY
5.7.00 aged 12 3/4 years. Your thoughtfulness             Dear Sir/Madam
                                                                                                                 Goodnight Joey, give Mommy a kiss
helped to ease the pain. He was a very active             Re: Fluff                                              Your favourite words I dearly miss.                        MISSED AND LOVED
and alert little dog until the end. He is sadly
missed by everyone who knew him and the                      Thank you very much for the thoughtful way          With a tut and a shake of your head                        Up to God our Oscar has gone
house seems empty without him.                            that you have dealt with the cremation of my           When you gave me a kiss as we                              Missed and loved by everyone.
                                                          beloved cat and constant companion of nearly           went to bed.                                               But we will think of him everyday
Alison & John Banks                                       16 years. His sudden illness and then having to        For 6 years you were my best friend                        With all the other animals he will play.
Leicester                                                 be ‘put to sleep’ has been so traumatic, but I
                                                          have been helped by your kind wishes.
                                                                                                                 Why did it all have to end?
                                                                                                                 I feel my world is torn apart                              Luckily now he has no pain
   Just a few words to sincerely thank you for               The casket is so beautiful and exactly the right    You have left me with a broken heart.                      We know he was sent here to our gain.
the kindness shown to myself and my boyfriend             colour. Fluff was a lovely ginger cat and the
                                                          colour of the wood reminds me of his beautiful         I remember all you could say and do                        But he will still wander in our hearts
(and our dog Gemma) when we came over on
May 14th for Lucy’s cremation. It helped us both          ginger fur.                                            And I promise to always love you.                          But if the truth be told,
enormously to be able to spend that last precious                                                                I hope you’re not lonely,                                  we will never ever part.
                                                          Best wishes
hour in the Chapel of Rest with her after her                                                                    but happy and free
tragic death two days earlier. Sincere thanks also                                                               Up there in heaven waiting for me.
                                                          Mrs. Janice Thomas
for 18 months earlier when we lost Sheba on
November 5th 1997.
                                                          West Yorks                                             It was a privilege to share your life                      THE LONGEST DAYS
                                                                                                                 with you                                                   The empty space you’ve left behind
   Both dogs were very much loved and very                                                                       To watch and listen to all you could do.
sadly missed.                                                                                                                                                               No one could ever fill.
                                                                                                                 You will always be with me in my mind                      For it belongs to only you
Julie Everett                                             To everyone at PCS                                     and heart                                                  And it always will.
Birmingham                                                                                                       So we will never be apart.                                 The sweet sound of your woofs
                                                          Thank you so much for taking care of my
P.S. We hope to return this Summer to place a             cockatiel Joey, I didn’t expect something so
                                                                                                                 I always said ‘I’ll never give Joey up no                  I hear once in a while.
memorial to both dogs at West Lodge Farm.                 lovely. I’d had Joey for 6 years, he was very          matter what’                                               It echoes in my head
                                                          special to me, he could talk, whistle, give a kiss     and these words I have never forgot.                       And brings a little smile.
                                                          and even burp and wouldn’t stop until you said         Even after life I have kept my word
                                                          ‘pardon you’.
                                                                                                                                                                            For since you have been taken
                                                                                                                 To a very special bird.                                    To pleasant pastures new.
                                                          Our dog Sasha keeps looking for him too, Joey          So goodnight Joey, give Mommy a kiss                       My heart clings to each memory
                                                          loved her to lick him.                                 You I will forever miss.                                   That I hold my love of you.
                                                          When he passed away it broke my heart, he was                                                                     Your sparkling eyes, your sweetness
                                                          my best friend, he deserved something special and                                                                 Your special little ways.
                                                          thanks to you, you made it possible, he is now in
                                                          his favourite spot in the lounge.                                                                                 Are thoughts that I recall
                                                                                                                                                                            To help me through the longest days.
                                                              Thank you so much.

                                                          Mrs Lynn Stockall and Joey

                                                          * Names have been changed to protect confidentiality                  P   E   T   C   R   E   M   A   T   I   O   N     S   E   R   V   I   C   E   S
                                  DONCASTER
Bentley Moor Lane, Carcroft Common, Adwick-le-Street, Doncaster S.Yorkshire DN6 7BD
                      Tel: 01302 726 144 Fax: 01302 728 730

                                   NEWBURY
              Yew Tree Farm, Ball Hill, Newbury, Berkshire, RG20 0NG
                     Tel: 01635 254 038 Fax: 01635 254 038

                               GUILSBOROUGH
   West Lodge Farm, West Haddon Road, Guilsborough, Northamptonshire NN6 8QE
                     Tel: 01604 740 220 Fax: 01604 740 737

                               www.pcsonline.org.uk

                         A division of the Time Right Group

				
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