Elegant Newsletter The Communicator A newsletter by fdh56iuoui


									                                            The Communicator
                                                  A newsletter of the Melrose Alliance Against Violence – Fall 2006
Board Members

Joan Bell, President
Melrose Parks Department
Lisa Walsh, Vice President
Community Member                                     11th Annual Walk and Candlelight Vigil: Branching Out
Ruth Clay, Clerk
Melrose Health Department                        Come celebrate our growth and support the Melrose Alliance Against Violence
Julie Brady, Treasurer                           (MAAV) at the same time! Our Annual Walk and Candlelight Vigil , part of
Melrose Veterans Memorial Middle School          Domestic Violence Awareness Month, will take place on Sunday, October 22nd
Michael Bloom                                    at 3:15 pm at the Beebe Campus of Melrose Veterans Memorial Middle School.
Community Member                                 Branching Out: For 11 years, MAAV has worked to reduce domestic
Cindy Campbell                                   violence in our community. In the past few years we have “branched out” to
Community Member                                 offer additional prevention programs for youth, including mentoring and
Jennifer Fahey                                   bullying prevention. To continue this work in the future, we need your help!
Community Member                                 How You Can Help: Form a team of friends, family members, colleagues,
Wendy Golini                                     church or civic group, club, sports team, business or organization. Call us for a
Business Community                               Team Captain Packet, which includes pledge forms for each member of your
Joyce Hunneman                                   team or download the forms on our website, www.maav.org. Individuals,
Community Member                                 families, businesses or organizations can sponsor the walk for a donation of
Jennifer Hutchins                                $100. Sponsors will be listed on the back of the t-shirts especially designed for
Hallmark Health
                                                 the Walk, and included in all public relations associated with the event.
Lt. Mike Lyle                                    Prizes will be awarded for Most Team Members, Most Money Raised, and
Melrose Police Department
                                                 Most Creative Team Attire. Photos will be taken of all teams at Registration!
Rev. Lawrence Starr
Melrose Clergy Association
                                                 Those individuals who raise $50 or more in pledges will receive a t-shirt
Elizabeth Schon Vainer                           featuring the design below by graphic artist Sarah Hickok in honor of the
Suffolk County District Attorney’s Office        event.
                                                 Schedule of Events
Associate Directors:                             3:15 pm Walk Registration
Dr. Joseph DiPietro                              4:00 pm Candlelight Vigil to commemorate victims of domestic violence
North Shore Medical Center                       4:30 pm Two-mile Walk around Ell Pond and downtown Melrose
Heather McSween                                  5:00 pm Ringing of bells at Houses of Worship
Community Member                                 5:30 pm Refreshments

Melrose High School Student
Ben Vainer
Jillian Powell

Rebecca Mooney, Executive Director
Kathleen Perrone, Administrative Assistant
Elizabeth Dierze, Domestic Violence Specialist
Robin LoConte, Bullying Prevention
Jaclyn Lavender Bird, Mentoring Program

Newsletter Editors
Elizabeth Dierze & Rebecca Mooney
    MAAV Mission Statement                                 Remembering Victims of Domestic Violence
The mission of the Melrose Alliance Against        In recognition of Domestic Violence Awareness month, we dedicate
Violence is to raise community awareness of        this page to remembering and honoring the past year’s victims of
domestic and teen dating violence, to promote      domestic violence. *
programs that work to reduce violence and to
encourage healthy relationships.                   Myron Crapps, age 33, of Springfield, was allegedly stabbed by his girlfriend,
                                                   Dawn Wheeler, age 31.
Our programs include community awareness           Zinaida Girdauskiene, age 65, of North Reading, was allegedly shot to death
activities; education and prevention programs      by her husband, Roaldas Baran, age 72, who then committed suicide.
in the schools, including bullying prevention,     Frederick Keough, age 43, of Salem was allegedly killed by his girlfriend’s
mentoring and peer leadership programs; and        estranged husband, Armando “Eddie” Pereira, age 55, who then turned the
information, support, resource and referral        gun on himself.
services for victims, family members and the       Ruby Blackhall, age 82, of Hamilton, was allegedly kicked and beaten to death
community at large.                                by her daughter Kim Blackhall, age 44.
                                                   Krista Lucianno, age 17, of Fall River, was strangled with a cable dog leash by
                                                   her uncle, Christopher Banville, age 32.
       MAAV Establishes                            Edward Schiller, age 39, of Framingham, was shot to death by Scott
     Fundraising Committee                         Foxworth in an alleged murder-for-hire plot.
                                                   Rachel Entwistle, age 27 and Lillian Rose Entwistle, 9 months old, of
As the recipient of a two-year grant from the      Hopkinton, were shot to death while at home in bed allegedly by husband
U.S. Dept of Health and Human Services for         and father Neil Entwistle, age 27.
Youth Violence Prevention, MAAV was able           Michelle Padgett Townsend, age 27 of Pittsfield, was allegedly killed by
to “branch out” and offer bullying prevention      her estranged husband Seymour Townsend, age 35.
and mentoring programs, as well as teen dating     Michael Zammitti, Jr., age 39 and Chester Roberts, age 51, both of
violence prevention education, through the         Wakefield, were allegedly shot to death by Sean Fitzpatrick, age 44.
Melrose schools. To continue these programs        Fitzpatrick allegedly wanted to become involved with Zammitti’s wife.
beyond June of 2007, we will need to               Velveena Baskin, age 38, of Boston, was allegedly beaten by her estranged
significantly increase and diversify our           husband, Whitney Baskin, age 46, and died a day later in the hospital.
fundraising activities. This issue was discussed   Tracy Mei, age 34, of East Templeton, died in the hospital, nine days after
at the Board’s annual summer retreat, and a        her boyfriend, Steven Bourgeois, age 43, allegedly ran over her with an all-
Fundraising Committee was established.             terrain vehicle in his garage.
Members of the Fundraising Committee are:          Maria Sastre, age 34, of Lawrence, was beaten to death in her home allegedly
Lisa Walsh, Chair; Joan Bell; Mike Bloom; Ruth     by Levi Omar Alcantara, age 30. Maria and Alcantara were known to be
Clay; Jackie Lavender Bird; Mike Lyle; Rebecca     friends.
Mooney; and Elizabeth Vainer.                      Dominique Samuels, age 19, of Milton, was allegedly strangled to death by
                                                   Rodrick Taylor, age 35, after refusing his sexual advances. Taylor is the friend
The board also decided to engage the               and cousin of at least two of Dominique’s roommates.
Executive Service Corps (ESC) of New               Michelle Barclay, age 53, of Swampscott, was killed by her husband, John
England, which provides affordable                 Barclay, age 55, who then killed himself.
management consulting and related services to      Carla Souza, age 37 and her son, Caique, age 11, of Framingham were
nonprofits to help them improve their              allegedly beaten to death by Carla’s husband, Jeremias Bins, age 30.
effectiveness. ESC draws on an extensive           Robert Morrow, age 45, of East Brookfield, fatally shot himself in the chest as
volunteer network of over 200 senior-level         police attempted to serve him with a warrant and a restraining order.
executives and professionals who are               Mary Crawford, age 92 of Quincy was allegedly strangled by her son, Hugh
committed to helping nonprofit organizations       Crawford, age 59, and died after several days in the hospital.
more effectively serve their constituents. We      Rachel Richards, age 48, of Rowley, was allegedly killed by her husband,
are very excited to be working with John           Scott Richards, also age 48, at their home.
Knutson and Eli Lipcon, both of whom bring         Analicia Perry, age 20, of Roxbury was fatally shot in the face allegedly by
a wealth of strategic planning and fundraising     Laron Lewis Richardson, age 18, of Jamaica Plain. Analicia’s former boyfriend,
expertise to the table.                            Steven R. Sayles, age 19, of Dorchester is charged with being an accessory after
                                                   the fact.
                                                   * Beginning in 2006 Jane Doe Inc., which compiles this information, expanded its
                                                   definition beyond intimate partners to try to capture the full picture and context of
                                                   domestic violence homicides, including the motive for the murder, the relationship
                                                   between the perpetrator and victim, and any bystanders or others who attempted to
         Melrose CARES: Connecting Adolescents to Relationships, Education & Support

The Melrose CARES Youth Violence Prevention Project focuses on programs at the middle school level including teen dating
violence prevention, a school-wide bullying prevention program and a community-based mentoring program. As our federal
grant comes to an end, MAAV is exploring new ways of sustaining these programs in the community (read more on page 2).

                                              Bullying Prevention Project Update
During the final days of August, prior to the official opening of school, MAAV staff and Melrose Veterans Memorial Middle School
(MVMMS) faculty presented an overview of the Bullying Prevention Project to new faculty at MVMMS. Over a “working lunch,”
teachers learned about the major revisions made to the behavior rubric and how those changes, among others such as teacher
training and student awareness-raising, have impacted the social climate at MVMMS. Teachers were both grateful and enthusiastic
about the project, its achievements, and its long-term goals.

As we enter the third and final school year of the Melrose CARES grant, the Bullying Prevention Coordinating Committee is
focused on long-term sustainability. This year’s goals will focus on increased faculty ownership of the project, while supporting
students in their roles as safe, responsible bystanders. These goals will be accomplished by:

     •    Creating smaller, grade-level committees at each campus in addition to maintaining the current, larger Coordinating
     •    Establishing protocol for ongoing faculty training in various components of the program, both via faculty meetings and
     •    Creating ongoing classroom discussions, lessons, and opportunities to reflect on the role of the bystander, as they make up
          as much as 70% of all students.

As we continue to meet monthly and gauge our progress toward full implementation, it will be exciting to watch each campus
customize their bullying prevention tools, and then share their respective knowledge with each other when the new MVMMS opens
in the fall of 2007. Then, it will become clear to all involved how fruitful has been this labor of love toward creating a School Where
Everyone Belongs.

                               How to “Empower Bystanders” and Prevent Bullying
We empower bystanders to action when we:
      • help them see that their silence makes the bully more powerful and contributes to the harm done to the target.
      • show them what to do by consistent adult interventions to stop bullying.
      • protect them from retaliation.
      • help them see when telling the bully to stop is safe and teaching them effective ways to do this.
      • encourage them to tell adults they trust about the bullying they see.
      • teach them to reach out in friendship to targets of bullying and isolated peers.

In addition, it is important to have conversations about the difference between tattling and telling, particularly for younger
children. The simplest way to teach this distinction is to explain that tattling is when we try to get someone IN trouble, e.g. “Mrs.
Smith, Joey is chewing gum in school.…” Telling, on the other hand, is when we try to keep someone OUT of trouble, e.g. “Mrs.
Smith, I heard some girls talking about fighting someone after school today….”

With thanks to Stan Davis, author of Schools Where Everyone Belongs: Practical Strategies for Reducing Bullying
                              Mentoring Program Wraps Up a Successful First Year
The Melrose CARES Community Mentoring Program links Melrose Veterans Memorial Middle School students with volunteer
adults from the community to provide consistent support and guidance. The purpose of these relationships is to encourage students
to develop resiliency and to make positive life choices.

Approximately 30 people gathered at the Beebe Estate on Tuesday, August 15th, to honor the volunteer mentors from the 2005-
2006 school year. MAAV Director Rebecca Mooney and Mentoring Program Coordinator Jackie Lavender Bird presented
certificates to this year's mentors: Joan Bell, Bill Halpin, Kathy Harlow, Rob Harlow, Marianne Long, Ann Mirageas, Maria Morong,
Chuck Person and Terri Shortlidge. Mayor Robert Dolan, Representative Mike Festa and Superintendent of Schools Joe Casey
acknowledged the mentors' commitment to the program and their dedication to the youth of Melrose.

The surprise of the evening was when the mentors presented the program staff with a generous donation to the Mentoring Program
to be used for the upcoming year. Their only instruction was "to use the money for something fun" for next year's students. Our
heartfelt thanks to these dedicated individuals for their generosity and commitment to youth in our community.

                                                                                       Feedback From Participants

                                                                      “I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to put the time in, with three
                                                                      kids of my own and their busy schedules, but after the initial six
                                                                      weeks it was really on my own schedule. The fact that the group
                                                                      meetings were planned for us made it easier than I expected it would
                                                                      -Joan Bell, 2006 Mentor

                                                                      "My favorite activity was when we went out and took pictures of
                                                                      Melrose. We did them as a group and put them in albums and now
                                                                      they are in front of the Mayor's office."
                                                                      -Student participant
     Maria Morong, Terri Shortlidge, Joan Bell, Kathy Harlow           “It’s wonderful having other adults supporting you as a parent.
     and Rob Harlow (left to right), were among those recently        With kids, any little bit helps."
     honored at MAAV’s Mentor Recognition Night.                      -Parent of student participant

                                                        New Mentors Needed!
Come join the fun! The Melrose CARES Community Mentoring Program is unique in that mentors and students meet both in a
group setting and on a one-to-one basis. The program kicks off in October, with six consecutive weeks of meeting as a group. This
allows mentors and students to get to know each other and build trust. Group activities this past year included exciting games and
fun icebreakers, interesting guest speakers, art activities and outings such as bowling, hiking and Fenway Park. Following the initial
six group meetings, the group continues to meet monthly. Mentors and students are then expected to meet on their own at least
once a month, for activities as simple as taking a walk, going out for ice cream, or going to the movies.

                  For more information on becoming a mentor, please contact Jackie Lavender Bird
                                     at 781-662-2010 or e-mail jmaav@gis.net.

         “The number one indicator of success for a child is a good relationship with a nurturing adult.”
                                                                                               --Fortune Magazine
                                    MAAV Student Action Board Takes the Lead at MHS

The MAAV Student Action Board (SAB) at Melrose High School has a full agenda for the fall! The SAB is currently accepting
applications from 9th, 10th and 11th graders interested in getting involved with violence prevention programs at MHS and in the
community. Applications are available in the Guidance Office. Current SAB members include Caitlin Foulser, Bethany Hickey,
Mark McCarthy, Lauren Murray, Jillian Powell, Kelsey Quinn, Ben Vainer, and Samantha Walsh. Also, we welcome MHS Guidance
Counselor Joe Parillo, who will join MAAV Director Rebecca Mooney and MHS Health teacher Lauren Doherty as advisors to the
group. Read on for more details of SAB’s involvement in various programs.

                                          Diversity Rally at MHS: “The Power of Words”

                                                               MAAV was proud to be involved with the Diversity Rally held on
                                                               September 29 at Melrose High. The rally was in response to a conflict
                                                               between students following a football game between Melrose and
                                                               Malden High School in which a homosexual slur was used. In addition
                                                               to ensuring consequences for those involved, school officials decided to
                                                               use the incident as a “teachable moment” for all students.

                                                               MHS teachers, administrators and community leaders, including MAAV
                                                               director Rebecca Mooney, worked together to organize the rally. With
                                                               the theme “The Power of Words,” students representing the Student
                                                               Council, Students Against Destructive Decisions (SADD), the Gay-
                                                               Straight Alliance, and MAAV’s Student Action Board spoke out against
                                                               discrimination and hate. All did an outstanding job!
 Jillian Powell (left) and Caitlin Foulser spoke on
 behalf of the SAB and “Mix it Up at Lunch”
 Day, which raises awareness about cliques
 and social boundaries.

  The highlight of the rally
  was guest speaker Jamele
  Adams, Assistant Dean
  at Brandeis University.
  With a strong message
  of respect for all,
  Jamele’s dynamic
  presence and powerful
  rap-style poetry left
  everyone truly moved
  and inspired.

                                             At far right, Jamele Adams, Assistant Dean at Brandeis University, with student leaders involved in the rally.
                          “Dear Lisa” A Program on Teen Dating Violence

At the age of 18, Lisa Santoro was killed by a former
boyfriend whom she had dated for five months. Since
then, her father, Tom Santoro, has committed himself                     When Relationships End
to helping to stop dating violence.
                                                           One of the most important messages from the “Dear Lisa”
"Dear Lisa" tells the story of what happened to Lisa       program is that relationships can be dangerous after they end.
Santoro and is designed to encourage students to           Below are some recommendations for staying safe.
recognize patterns of abuse, escalation and incidents in
dangerous relationships. Tom facilitates a discussion      After a break up:
about domestic and dating violence that allows             You might still have to have contact with your ex-, especially if
students to share their thoughts and explore their         you are at the same school or have mutual friends. Some
perceptions of the issue. He provides a clear              suggestions to help:
explanation of the different forms of abuse that can           • Talk to your friends about what you are going
take place between dating couples and helps to bring                through so they can support and look out for you.
this topic out of the shadows to elevate awareness.            • Avoid isolated areas at school and local hangouts,
                                                                    and don’t walk home alone.
MAAV’s Student Action Board will sponsor “Dear                 • Have an answering machine or have someone else
                                                                    take messages from this person.
Lisa” at MHS on Tuesday, October 17. Follow up to
the presentation will take place through the English           • Stick with a buddy at parties your ex- might attend.
Department, with 9th graders completing writing            If you are being harassed or stalked:
assignments and 10th graders participating in peer-led
                                                                • If your ex- starts harassing or stalking you, you must
discussion groups. In addition, MHS Guidance                        end all communication. DO NOT respond to or
Counselors will be available during and after the                   negotiate with them.
program for students who have personal concerns.                • Do not be manipulated into any “one last times.”
                                                                • Treat the person as if he or she is dangerous and stay
                                                                    away from that person whenever possible.
   Resources on Teen Dating Violence                            • Under NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you ever be
                                                                    alone with this person.
  Books: (Available for loan from the MAAV                      • Tell your parents, friends, teachers, the police. The
  Resource Library)                                                 more people who know, the safer you will be.
                                                                    Remember, it is not your fault.
  In Love & In Danger by Barry Levy
  Respect: A Girl’s Guide to Getting Respect &              For information or support call MAAV at 781-662-2010.
  Dealing When Your Line is Crossed by
  Courtney Macavinta & Andrea Pluym
  Confusing Love with Obsession by John D.

  Web Sites:
  Melrose Alliance Against Violence
  Family Violence Prevention Fund: See It & Stop
  It Campaign www.seeitandstopit.org
  Liz Claiborne Foundation: Love is Not Abuse

                                      Photo Gallery

                                                        Getting Away From it All
                                             MAAV held its annual summer retreat for board
                                             members and staff on Monday, July 31 at Camp
                                             Nihan in Saugus. The theme this year was
                                             “Planning for Sustainability.”

                                             Pictured left to right, first row: Ben Vainer, Jillian Powell,
                                             Robin LoConte, Joan Bell. Second row, Kathy Perrone,
                                             Garret Sacco, Julie Brady, Lisa Walsh, Jenn Hutchins,
                                             Jackie Lavendar Bird. Third row, Mike Bloom, Lt. Mike

       At Your Service...
Staff and board members (left to
right) Rebecca Mooney, Jackie
Lavender Bird, Joyce Hunneman
and Ben Vainer at the MAAV booth
at the Victorian Fair, held on
Sunday, September 17. In addition
to providing information about
MAAV’s work in the community,
we sold delicious ice cream donated
by Blake’s Creamery.

                                                         MAAV Overcomes the Flood!
                                                 The Annual Melrose Run for Women, traditionally
                                                 held on Mother’s Day, was cancelled due to
                                                 record-setting rain and flooding of the race route.
                                                 But thanks to the Melrose Running Club’s hard
                                                 work, dedication and perseverance, a revised Fun
                                                 Run for Women was held on June 14, bringing out
                                                 79 loyal and new participants! After the race, a
                                                 pasta dinner and awards ceremony was enjoyed by
                                           Thanks to MAAV Contributors
MAAV gratefully acknowledges the following individuals and organizations for their generous contributions over the past several
months. Your support helps MAAV continue to provide outreach to victims of domestic violence as well as our many violence
prevention programs in the schools:

Melrose Running Club for donating $5,000 in proceeds from the 9th Annual Mother’s Day Road Race.

Huggins Center for Alternative Therapies for donating the proceeds from a Mother’s Day gift basket raffle.

Wendy Golini for donating her culinary expertise to the 5th Annual Wine Gala, and for selling “Stand Up Speak Out” wristbands at
her restaurant, Cedar Perk.

2005-2006 Mentors for their financial donation to the 2006-2007 mentoring program.

Ann Mirageas of Blake's Creamery for donating ice cream for MAAV's booth at the Victorian Fair.

Sarah Hickock for donating her graphic design services for MAAV's 11th Annual Walk t-shirt.1

                                                 Contact Information

                       MAAV Mailing Address: 235 West Foster Street, Melrose, MA 02176
           Telephone: 781-662-2010 Fax: 781-662-2009 E-mail: rmaav@gis.net Web Site: www.maav.org

Melrose Alliance Against Violence                       FIRST CLASS MAIL
235 West Foster Street
Melrose, MA 02176

Postmaster: Address Correction Requested

                   Raising Awareness Through Education…

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